All language subtitles for Lovejoy s03e05 Bronze.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,816 You all right? 2 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,524 You still haven't given me your number. 3 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,792 No. 4 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,131 Mary... 5 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,204 it's the same for me. 6 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,763 - Honestly? - I was just as nervous as you were. 7 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,103 In that bathroom, I was a teenager again. 8 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,170 These things happen. 9 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,274 I didn't plan it. 10 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,145 Any more than you did. 11 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:31,589 Don't spoil it, please. Come on. 12 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:33,319 It's all right. 13 00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,350 It's all right! 14 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,554 It's all right. 15 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,127 (Tinker) It's gone in, so it's got to come out. 16 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,113 What make is that? 17 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,580 Boeing? 18 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,278 - Keep at it, lads! - Lovejoy, let's go shopping. 19 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,851 (Camera clicks) 20 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,803 Ah! I suppose you want to know what Lovejoy's doing 21 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,407 swanning around the country in a limo and swilling champagne at - what is it? - 22 00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,974 11:20 on a Thursday morning? (Tuts) 23 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,010 Well, I'll tell you. 24 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,486 Greg Veitch of Sydney, 25 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:15,460 that's Sydney, Australia, where the soaps come from and the Ashes go to. 26 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,520 He's up from Oz to buy a few antiques. 27 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:21,728 Don't knock it. 10% of whatever he buys. 28 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,066 There's so many unscrupulous types about. 29 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,937 You know what I mean. Part of my brief is to make sure he does not get done over. 30 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:31,102 Or, if he does get done over, it's me that does it. 31 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,908 - Lovejoy! - Greg! 32 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,938 Excuse me. 33 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:41,646 Look at the patina on that. Centuries of use, regular polishing. 34 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,849 - You like it? - I love it. It's beautiful. 35 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,085 - Talk me through it. - You testing me again? 36 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,992 No, I'm here to learn as well as lighten my wallet. 37 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,189 Silver, George the First, 38 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,529 approximately... 39 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,091 Uh... approximately 28 ounces. 40 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:59,764 - 28 and a half. - I've failed again. 41 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,502 - So do we haggle? - There's no hurry. 42 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,772 - It's a bargain. - Sure it's a bargain. 43 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,802 I'll tell you why. 44 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,183 - Not the real thing. - You're kidding. What, in here? 45 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,742 - It happens. - But it's got a hallmark, look. 46 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:18,120 Yeah, sure it has, but look at the space between the hallmark and the base. 47 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:21,991 The hallmark's been cut from a genuine piece and then put in here. 48 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,930 - Are you sure? - The hallmark's genuine, coffee pot isn't. 49 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,525 Lovejoy, you're an ace. 50 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,559 We're in great trim. 51 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,505 - But I'm still looking for a eureka. - What's that? 52 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:40,478 Oh, the biggie, the... the great white. I won't know it till I see it, 53 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,710 but we gotta give it a burl. I can't go home without my eureka. 54 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,982 That's what I'm here for. 55 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,350 (Police radio) 56 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,047 Is your husband at home, Mrs. Russell? 57 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,081 No, he's in court. 58 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,184 Identification. May I see some? 59 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,099 Do you recognize him? 60 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,608 - No. - His name is Blaine. 61 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,076 Jerry Blaine. 62 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,978 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm quite sure. 63 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,580 Ahem. 64 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,586 You... 65 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,679 You had lunch with Blaine last Tuesday. 66 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,815 That's not true. 67 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,125 No. 68 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,431 - Were you following me? - No, we were following him. 69 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,097 Why? 70 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,436 - He has form. - He's got a prison record. 71 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,773 - Recently released from Wormwood Scrubs. - I don't believe it. 72 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,076 It's true. We thought he had a meet fixed with another villain. 73 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:54,184 - I don't know what to say. - Blaine was killed last night. 74 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:01,820 He was shot with a small-caliber pistol. 75 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,695 It's what's known as a virginity protector. It's a lady's gun. 76 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,368 - I see. - A known villain with form, 77 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,564 still on parole... 78 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,835 and a judge's wife. 79 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,536 I don't understand. 80 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:21,069 - Are you accusing me? - Do you have an alibi for yesterday? 81 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:24,515 Say, late afternoon, early evening, four till nine o'clock? 82 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,314 Yes, I... I think I was here. 83 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:28,911 - Yes, I was. - Alone? 84 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,946 - Yes. - Can you prove that? 85 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,349 - I... I don't know... - (Phone) 86 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,385 Yes, I think I could. I need... 87 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,095 Excuse me. 88 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,897 60950. 89 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,598 Yes, he is. It's for you. 90 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,009 Shand. 91 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,012 Yes, guv. 92 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,378 Yeah, I'm with her now. 93 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,407 Uh, no, not yet, no. 94 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,352 Yeah. Yeah, will do. 95 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,413 It's the super. He wants a result. 96 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,119 Look, Inspector, if this story gets out... 97 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,390 Yeah, but it's not a story, though, is it? 98 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:13,988 It will ruin my marriage and damage my husband's career. 99 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,129 Well, he's already had one heart attack. 100 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:23,775 - This could kill him! - What are you suggesting, Mrs. Russell? 101 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,801 I'm not suggesting anything. I'm... 102 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,610 I'm begging you not to take it any further. 103 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:40,717 You see, the problem is, you lied, didn't you? 104 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,524 You said you didn't know Blaine. 105 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,690 - I was frightened. - Cliff? 106 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:48,598 Well, you're the guv'nor. 107 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,661 - You didn't know Blaine was a criminal? - I knew nothing about the man at all. 108 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,799 I believe you. 109 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:01,038 Now, at this stage, it may be containable. 110 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:05,141 Your name could be left out the frame for a price. 111 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,414 - Cliff? - Not my decision. 112 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:09,785 He plays by the rules, does our Cliff. 113 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,986 You see, the trouble is, it's gone higher than us. There's others involved. 114 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:17,723 - How many others? - The super, the Blaine family brief. 115 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,926 - The police lab that processed the photos. - Us. 116 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,226 I haven't any money! 117 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:27,239 Mrs. Russell, please! 118 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:33,368 This is my husband's house. 119 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:35,403 He handles the financial affairs. 120 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:39,447 I've got a few shares, a PEP, 121 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,919 and a small amount in a building society. 122 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,650 - That's all! - Then sell off a few baubles. 123 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,557 - It shouldn't be too difficult. - If you move quickly... 124 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,892 - Very quickly. ...we may be able to persuade the super. 125 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,937 (Greg) Did Jameson make all of these? (Lovejoy) Yeah. 126 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:03,567 - All of them? - What do you reckon? 127 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,544 - They're fun, aren't they? - I think so. 128 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,705 One London dealer bought a lot of them. 129 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,410 Uh-huh. 130 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,613 - Jamie? - Hey, Lovejoy! 131 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,088 - Greg Veitch. - G'day. 132 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,750 - How are you? - Fine. 133 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,726 - How are my lamp brackets? - Ready by the end of the week. 134 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:26,755 - Bit meat and potatoes, isn't it, brackets? - Nine to 12, work. Two to six, play. 135 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,233 - I'll show Greg around, OK? - Aye, carry on. 136 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:33,136 - Hear about the Giacometti frauds? - Twenty million quid's worth. 137 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:36,767 - What happened? - Somebody nicked old Alberto's moulds. 138 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,074 - Copies have been popping up all over. - How naughty. 139 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,103 No chance of us getting hold of any? 140 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:54,848 No, no, you really should see our place. It's on the beach. 141 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,721 Uh, three stories, view of the ocean from every room. 142 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,955 10,000 squares, six bedrooms, five state-of-the-art baths. 143 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,521 - Oh! A lot of room for two. - We've got Viv's oldest with us. 144 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:08,829 - Vivienne's your wife? - Yeah. She's my third. 145 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,861 I always marry little women. It takes fewer furs for the coat. 146 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,207 - Was yours a family business? - Lady Jane, 147 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,441 my old man was so dumb, when he died they made him into a stock cube. 148 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,677 He couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 149 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,708 Oh, sorry. Being a bit crude there. 150 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,946 (All) Oh... 151 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:29,648 (All) Ah! 152 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,816 (Man) I say! 153 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,587 - Oh! Absolutely beautiful. - (Applause) 154 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:39,858 - What's this? Guy Fawkes? - It's someone's birthday. 155 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,459 Oh, it's Mary Russell. 156 00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:44,765 Anybody you don't know? 157 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,602 Excuse me. I must just go and say many happy returns. 158 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,503 (Greg) That's a class act. 159 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,106 Where do you fit in, Lovejoy? 160 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,139 Family friends. 161 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:01,447 - You never thought of giving Oz a try? - No. 162 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,583 Oh, you should. It's changing fast. Ten years ago they used to joke 163 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:09,560 what's the difference between Australia and yogurt? Yogurt has a culture. 164 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,927 How can you tell that Jesus wasn't an Aussie? 165 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:15,764 They searched, they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. 166 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:19,635 They don't do those jokes anymore. Just as well. 167 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:23,608 It wasn't a birthday. It's their anniversary. 168 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,169 Lady Jane, it's time for you to sing for your supper. 169 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,976 Oh, dear. 170 00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,676 Well, singing never was my strong suit. 171 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:35,847 Jane, Lovejoy has worked wonders, but I still need two or three special pieces. 172 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:39,881 I've got the crown, the pearls and sundries, but I've not got the coal and ore. 173 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,258 - Are you with me? - Mm. Not easy. 174 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:46,492 If I go home without it, Viv will throw a tantie. 175 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,663 - Oh, thank you, Andrea. - You're welcome. 176 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,104 What about Fairford Hall, Sir Max Spence? 177 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,134 Ah. 178 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:03,148 - Who's he? - Impoverished aristocracy. 179 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,548 He's just been clobbered with death duties. 180 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,593 Well, if I have another one, you're going to have to stay over 181 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,191 because I won't trust myself to drive you home. 182 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:25,863 - In which case, don't have another one. - Yeah, I knew you were going to say that. 183 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:29,466 Well, if you won't do the indecent thing... 184 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:36,244 Did I tell you, by the way, about this old edition of the Karma Sutra I've been reading? 185 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:39,183 - You mentioned it. - And this chapter on the Hastini, 186 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,277 - or elephant woman. - Lovejoy... 187 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,017 And this position known as "the twining of the creeper." 188 00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:47,321 - Lovejoy! - Wait till you've heard about it. 189 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,817 - Stop it! - It's to do with honey... and black pepper. 190 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,195 - No. Lovejoy! - Black pepper. 191 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,098 - Something wrong? - I don't know. 192 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,662 What is it? 193 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,800 Silver spoon. Probably the one Alex was born with. 194 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,073 - How did that get in there? - I have no idea. 195 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,910 It's a Carolean sealed top... 196 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:14,283 initialed with a "W". No, no, I beg your pardon, that's an "M". 197 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,979 I've never seen it before in my life. 198 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,924 It certainly wasn't in my jacket before we went to Andrea's. 199 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,485 It certainly doesn't come from any restaurant. 200 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,430 Somebody has put it in the wrong jacket. 201 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:27,796 Mm. 202 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,860 - Lovejoy. - Yeah? 203 00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,599 What exactly do they do with black pepper? 204 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,334 Janey, Janey, Janey... 205 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,572 Number five was the judge and Mrs. Russell. Remember the cake? 206 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:48,348 Every calorie, Andrea. You got a number for him? 207 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,118 No, but he's the Honorable Judge Raymond Russell or something. 208 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:55,354 - Right, two to go. - One couple, table three. 209 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,362 I never saw them before. 210 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:58,693 - Plastic? - Cash. 211 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,790 - Quaint. - Two fifties, I remember. 212 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,461 Yes, so would I. Right, that's one to go. 213 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:07,438 One businessman, table one. Mr. Simpson. In the corner. 214 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,703 - He's in your line of business. - Really? 215 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,733 (Speaks Italian) 216 00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:13,506 - Got a number for him? - Yeah. 217 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:17,811 Bishop's Stortford 658463. 218 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,648 - And he's booked for lunch. - Thank you, Andrea. 219 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,120 Hell of a lot of fuss about a spoon. 220 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:26,750 I don't like it when people give me things. 221 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,185 (Eric) Hello, Lovejoy Associates. Can I help you? 222 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,857 - Hello, Eric? - 0h, hello, Lady Jane. 223 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:37,426 Hello. Tell Lovejoy I'm on my way to see Sir Max, Sir Max Spence, 224 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,460 and I'll ask if today's a good day for him. 225 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,939 - This afternoon? - Oh, will that be suitable? 226 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:42,963 Yes, I'm free. 227 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,909 - Silly sod. I put it in the wrong pocket. - Careless. 228 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,436 - Very. - Why didn't you mention it to Andrea? 229 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,712 I wasn't sure where it happened. I just knew I was a spoon short. 230 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,776 What does the "P" stand for? 231 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,448 Uh... My wife Pat. 232 00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:59,218 - Patricia. - Ah! 233 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,249 - What's wrong? - "P" is an "M". 234 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,624 Ah. 235 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:09,258 (Tinker) Don't let him see what you're looking at. Move down, Eric. 236 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,292 - It's George the Third. - That's right. 237 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,430 Peter and Anne Bateman, 1790s. 238 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,904 - Isn't it a beauty? - Twenty-odd ounces, I'd say. 239 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,538 Anybody would be thrilled to own something like that. 240 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:25,573 - It's not my eureka. - No, it's not, but it's worth picking up. 241 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:29,053 Don't go straight to it. We'll look at something else first. 242 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,079 What's its price, Eric? 243 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,759 - A.B.E.O. - That's a big help. 244 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,355 - Eight hundred. - Start at five. 245 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:43,391 - You'll be lucky! - Six and they might take you seriously. 246 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,700 Eric, people always take me seriously. 247 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,266 Yeah, of course they do, Greg. Of course they do. 248 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:56,373 (Mrs. Russell) I put it there. 249 00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,212 Why? 250 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,741 Because I needed to know if I could trust you. 251 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:04,278 - Just ask Jane. - I didn't know how well you knew her. 252 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,925 This could be an expensive way of checking people out. 253 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,818 I was desperate. 254 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,565 Am desperate. 255 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,632 You need help? 256 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:24,733 I need to sell some spoons and replace them with look-alikes 257 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,768 good enough to fool most people. 258 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,038 Please, sit down. 259 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,481 Ahem. 260 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:35,443 Including the judge, for example? 261 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,516 And at a fraction of the cost. 262 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,686 - How long have you got? - 24 hours. 263 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,129 Not me you need, Mrs. Russell, it's the Magic Circle - all of them. 264 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,794 - Not a chance. - There are other things. 265 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,963 With respect, there's the Van Der Elst in the hall. 266 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,769 No, the spoons are mine. The other things aren't. 267 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,813 How much cash do you need? 268 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,840 Several thousand. 269 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:11,316 And you really can't talk to your husband about any of this? 270 00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,018 You can talk to me about it. 271 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,151 Will you talk to Jane? 272 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,431 Thank you, James. We won't be needing you again today. 273 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:27,098 - Thanks, fella. - Thanks, Greg. 274 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,130 Nice doing business with you. 275 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,165 (Tinker sings) 276 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,383 Aha! 277 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,883 - Who is he? - What? 278 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,914 The other man. 279 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,960 - How did you know? - Oh, Janey, please. 280 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:54,625 Lovejoy, she and Ray are devoted. They're been married for 17 years. 281 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,726 - They've got all this together... - Janey, get to the point. 282 00:18:57,769 --> 00:18:59,930 An indiscretion. 283 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,203 - Well, of course. Go on. - With a crook. 284 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,403 Prison record. 285 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,776 And now, he's been killed. 286 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,107 Is she a suspect? 287 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,882 Two policemen from the Met have offered to help. 288 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,383 How? 289 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:25,522 By omitting her name from enquiries for a large consideration. 290 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,692 Janey... 291 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,934 this stinks. I don't believe a word of this. 292 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:40,244 Lovejoy, Alex and I have known them for years. Mary's such a sweet woman. 293 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:44,306 I'm sure she is, but just because a friend of yours committed an indiscretion... 294 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,680 Yes? 295 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:49,921 - It's nothing to do with me. - Well... 296 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,446 - I said we'd help. - We? 297 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,257 You. 298 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,256 Thank you, Jane. 299 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,264 It's a vase. 300 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,004 Rare? 301 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,604 Yeah, it's as rare as rocking-horse droppings. 302 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,975 Argy-Rousseau. Cost me 11,000. 303 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:21,349 That's 22 Australian. 304 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,718 It's a beaut. 305 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:26,383 No, I just want to know if I need an export license. 306 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,962 Were you going to put them on the policy? 307 00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,988 Hang on, just a minute. Can you go a bit further down here? 308 00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:38,702 I'll keep it in the safe and you talk to the airline about shipping. 309 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:42,764 You got trouble, right here in River City with a capital "T" and that rhymes with "P" 310 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,936 and that stands for..."police." 311 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,003 I'm too young to go to prison, Lovejoy. 312 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:50,037 And I'm too old. 313 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,415 Tinker, where's your sense of adventure? 314 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,818 I left it behind in the NAAFI in 1953. 315 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:01,323 Lady Jane will be very upset about this. 316 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,227 - Is she in on it? - Her and Mary Russell, like that. 317 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,961 - Well, you never said. - Didn't think I had to. 318 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,800 Anyway, Jane and I told Mary to stall them, tell them she needed more time. 319 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,896 They were going to call today, you see. 320 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,306 We were going to set up a meeting and we were going to be there. 321 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,003 - We? - We. 322 00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,774 To do what? 323 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,144 Surveillance. 324 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,412 Eric is our security expert after all, Tink. 325 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,318 - But he didn't finish the course, Lovejoy. - (Eric) Nearly! 326 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,951 - You want to bug the meeting, right? - Oh, my God. 327 00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:38,054 Well, it's easy-peasy, because I can get one of these electronic briefcases, right? 328 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,564 You open it up, there's a microphone inside... 329 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,226 - Get one! - Wilco. 330 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:45,100 And after the meet... we tail 'em. 331 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,468 Oh, my God. 332 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:49,531 - I'm on the Harley, right? - I'm in Miriam. 333 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:52,065 - Tink, that butcher's van. - Oh, my God! 334 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:55,546 - Melgrave's. You remember. - That's the one. See if you can get it. 335 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:58,947 - Must I, Lovejoy? - Well, why not? 336 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,111 The smell of animal blood makes me sick. 337 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,144 Oh, my God. 338 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:12,092 This was designed by Archibald Knox. 339 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,899 - The Celtic tracery is beautiful. - (Greg) Seen many like it? 340 00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:18,926 Oh, it's very rare. 341 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:23,031 Uh, Sir Max, what did we decide about the Pugin? 342 00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,305 Twenty-five thousand. 343 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,404 - Twenty, wasn't it? - No, twenty-five. 344 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,438 Twenty. 345 00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:35,142 Enameled cabochon. 346 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,453 - What do you think, Greg? - I like it. 347 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:40,549 - Three. - I'd have thought two. 348 00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:43,083 - Three. - Uh, Greg, a word. 349 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,922 - I make the deals, you sign the checks. - If you say so. 350 00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,957 That's the way it works. 351 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:54,172 - Two grand, top whack. - Oh, I'm not so sure. 352 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,538 All right, then. 353 00:22:57,275 --> 00:22:59,266 Oh, don't be too hasty. 354 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:03,771 I can live with two. 355 00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:10,010 (Clock chimes) 356 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,620 Oh, Greg. 357 00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:16,820 Excuse me. 358 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,193 Burne-Jones. 359 00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:22,491 - What is it, young fellow? - You can ask Sir Max. 360 00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:25,332 Um, do you have a toilet I can use? 361 00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,395 Yes. Straight out and first turn left. 362 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,577 - What do you think, Greg? - That's terrific. 363 00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:36,274 That'll look great over Viv's desk. 364 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,482 (Whispers) Eureka. 365 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:45,513 You beaut. 366 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:52,120 No point hanging your noses over that, boys. Not for sale. 367 00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:56,029 - What is it? - Tell him, Lovejoy. 368 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:59,002 It's a Benin bronze. 369 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:02,700 The only other place you'll see one is the Berggruen collection. 370 00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:06,609 It's a head for a king's altar. "Oba" they call them. 371 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:12,113 You know, Benin City was sacked by the Brits in 1897. 372 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,517 Oh, they still make them, but not like this. 373 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:19,081 - Where's Benin? - Bendel State in Nigeria. 374 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:22,453 Must be worth a power of money. 375 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:25,554 - Oh, it's worth a million. - Why won't you sell it, then? 376 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:29,761 Well, I would tomorrow, but the Department of Trade vetoed an export license. 377 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,860 I can't apply again for seven years. 378 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:34,799 The Waverly Criteria. 379 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,274 - What's that? - Red tape. 380 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:42,337 Can't flog things of national and cultural interest, blah, blah. 381 00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:47,010 And knowing that, domestic buyers think they have me over a barrel. 382 00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:49,313 Sod 'em! 383 00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:56,926 - It's stunning. - Yes, it is, indeed. 384 00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:59,396 Well, come on, Lulu. 385 00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:02,332 "Do not go gentle into that good night 386 00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:05,200 "Rage, rage against the dying of the light" 387 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,228 - Lovejoy? - Hm? 388 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,867 Eureka! 389 00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:13,572 Greg, you heard him. 390 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,073 Lovejoy... 391 00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:19,606 I want it. 392 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:23,878 (Phone) 393 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:29,750 60590. 394 00:25:31,096 --> 00:25:33,087 Yes, Inspector. 395 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:37,360 Um, not here. I have the decorators in. 396 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:41,228 The Green Man. 397 00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:43,605 No, but I'll find it. 398 00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,337 Two o'clock. 399 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,039 Yes. Yes, I'll see you there. 400 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,278 Goodbye. 401 00:25:50,982 --> 00:25:54,008 - Well done! - I feel sick. 402 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,043 Leave it to Lovejoy. He'll sort it out. 403 00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:59,347 (Sighs) 404 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,882 Yes, it's terrible, it's terrible, terrible. 405 00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:16,664 (Phone) 406 00:26:21,813 --> 00:26:23,144 Veitch. 407 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,816 Sir Max. 408 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,251 I was just thinking about you. 409 00:26:30,288 --> 00:26:33,382 Cymbidium Rievaulx Hamsey. 410 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,723 It's beautiful, isn't it? 411 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,593 It's not a rare orchid, as orchids go, 412 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:43,124 but it's a terrible blighter to grow. 413 00:26:43,168 --> 00:26:45,898 The Benin bronze. You wanted to talk about it. 414 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:50,237 Oh, very direct, Anzacs. Always noticed. 415 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,335 I've been thinking. 416 00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:55,369 And chewing it over. 417 00:26:58,183 --> 00:27:00,413 Metal. I'd rather buy plastics. 418 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:05,119 There might, just might, 419 00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:08,956 be a way round our problem. 420 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,292 Our problem? I approve. 421 00:27:11,329 --> 00:27:14,787 We needn't bring Lovejoy into it, need we? 422 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:17,734 - No, I see no reason. - Well, you know what they say, 423 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,397 - a commission saved is a... - Is a commission saved, 424 00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:23,100 split two ways - your way, my way. 425 00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:25,632 The trouble is that it's... 426 00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:29,604 It involves a slight... 427 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,878 How shall I put it? 428 00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:36,114 A slight bending of the law. 429 00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,123 Well, what are laws for, Sir Max... 430 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:41,455 if not to be bent? 431 00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:23,926 (Farmer) Friesians, Hereford... 432 00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:25,299 Oh! 433 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,798 (Indistinct conversation) 434 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,344 Thank you. 435 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:48,622 The same principle as the Trojan horse. 436 00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:52,391 - I don't understand. - Well, hide it inside something else. 437 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:55,126 Oh, I see! Right, right. 438 00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:57,134 Is this legal? 439 00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:59,102 Er, well... 440 00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:01,105 not entirely, no. 441 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:05,508 The damn Department of Trade, they won't grant me an export license. 442 00:29:05,543 --> 00:29:08,535 Dreary farts. Can't appeal again till '99! 443 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:11,208 - I shall be dead by then. - It is yours, aye? 444 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:13,911 Of course it's mine! 445 00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:16,682 That has been in the Spence family since the 1890s. 446 00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:18,780 The question is, can you do it? 447 00:29:18,823 --> 00:29:22,190 Oh, aye, I could. Just no' sure that I should. 448 00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:28,489 How much? 449 00:29:29,734 --> 00:29:31,725 - For all three? - Yeah, the lot. 450 00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:35,169 Um, two grand? 451 00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:37,538 Four. I'll give you four. 452 00:29:37,575 --> 00:29:40,009 That help make your mind up? 453 00:29:56,027 --> 00:29:59,690 You got a good look at Shand and the car, right, Tink? 454 00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:00,823 Tink? 455 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:04,323 - I'm not a baby. - Oh, you look terrible. 456 00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:06,633 I'm not well. 457 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,307 Hi. Sit down. 458 00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:26,484 - Would you like something to drink? - No. 459 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:28,321 No, thank you. 460 00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:32,889 So where is it? 461 00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:34,922 I haven't got it. 462 00:30:34,966 --> 00:30:36,831 - What? - I need more time. 463 00:30:36,868 --> 00:30:41,202 - I told you... - You didn't give me long enough. Please. 464 00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:45,003 If you haven't got the money then our report has to go in with the photos. 465 00:30:45,043 --> 00:30:48,570 Inspector, please. Just another 24 hours. 466 00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:49,910 Nah. 467 00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,281 Listen, I'm selling some silver. 468 00:30:53,318 --> 00:30:55,946 I should have the money by the end of today. 469 00:30:55,987 --> 00:30:59,650 That, plus some shares I'm selling. Well, it'll be enough. 470 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,319 What difference can one day make? 471 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,486 Please! 472 00:31:05,263 --> 00:31:07,697 All right. 473 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:10,997 - Thank you. - I'll call. Same time tomorrow. 474 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:12,935 Be ready. 475 00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:14,336 I promise. 476 00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:47,837 The thing is, gentlemen, I can't fire another bronze round it. 477 00:31:47,872 --> 00:31:51,308 Why not? Cos it might crack the original. 478 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:52,969 (Sir Max) Good point. 479 00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:57,414 So... I'll have to model over it. 480 00:31:57,448 --> 00:31:58,881 Oh... 481 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,578 Plaster! 482 00:32:00,618 --> 00:32:04,213 Yes, why not? That'll do fine. 483 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:06,746 And then when that's dry, 484 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:10,124 sculpt it, and then... 485 00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,391 special paint. 486 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,955 How much? One, two... 487 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:17,399 Aye, six coats. 488 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,665 What for? 489 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,934 - Why? - To harden it up. 490 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:25,966 Give it that coldness. I mean, have you ever kissed bronze? 491 00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:29,371 Doesnae kiss you back, does it? 492 00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,349 That's right. Not a problem. 493 00:32:32,383 --> 00:32:34,146 - When can you start? - Whenever. 494 00:32:34,185 --> 00:32:37,211 - Now. - Do I no' get a cuppa tea first? 495 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:38,586 Must you? 496 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:42,015 Excuse me. 497 00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:45,125 Do you no' trust me? 498 00:32:45,163 --> 00:32:47,154 I trust everybody. 499 00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:49,697 Once. 500 00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:40,506 - So where are they? - I had to pop off into a hedge. 501 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:42,542 You're cracking up, Tink. 502 00:33:50,294 --> 00:33:52,728 - Hi, John. - Afternoon, ma'am. 503 00:34:05,676 --> 00:34:08,770 - Thank God that's over. - Oh, darling, how was it? 504 00:34:08,813 --> 00:34:10,075 Awful. 505 00:34:10,114 --> 00:34:13,106 - Did anything go wrong? - Not that I know of. 506 00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:17,050 I just feel so... 507 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:19,318 so soiled... 508 00:34:19,357 --> 00:34:22,053 having to crawl to him. 509 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,755 Oh, don't tell me. 510 00:35:01,799 --> 00:35:04,791 The smell of blood! 511 00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:07,862 I've got some Scotch in the office. 512 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:09,167 Scotch! 513 00:35:15,513 --> 00:35:19,643 - Eric's tape. - Tape we hear on the way to the Tower. 514 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,754 (Eric) Surveillance at the Green Man pub. 515 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:30,159 Field agent E Catchpole. 1400 hours, 17th of the seventh. 516 00:35:30,194 --> 00:35:34,324 (Farmer #1) Seen some of them horses at Hunsdon Mead? 517 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:37,493 (Farmer #2) Average eat last year was 77 kilos. 518 00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:40,527 (Farmer #1) Those Frenchman, though, they made over an hundred. 519 00:35:40,571 --> 00:35:43,062 (Farmer #2) Your frog always were an hungry bugger. 520 00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,234 (Farmer #1) Famous for it. 521 00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,710 Your froggie always was an hungry bugger! 522 00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:49,372 I don't like it much... 523 00:35:49,413 --> 00:35:51,677 Marvelous! 524 00:35:56,954 --> 00:35:58,546 Marvelous. 525 00:35:58,589 --> 00:36:03,151 There I am out risking life and limb and here you are having a laugh. 526 00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:05,628 - How did it go? - Have I got news for you. 527 00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:09,030 Where did he take you, you hungry bugger? 528 00:36:09,066 --> 00:36:11,227 (Imitates farmer) Him too fat, he be... 529 00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:16,101 To a council estate on the outskirts of Ipswich. 530 00:36:16,140 --> 00:36:18,404 I thought he was in the Met. 531 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:21,934 No, that's what he told Mary Russell. 532 00:36:21,979 --> 00:36:24,914 Wasn't really a policeman at all, was he, Eric? 533 00:36:24,949 --> 00:36:28,077 - Well, how do you know? - Instinct. Gut reaction. 534 00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:30,178 Well, he used to be in the job. 535 00:36:30,221 --> 00:36:35,249 Used to be a DI, didn't he? But he got thrown out over three years ago. 536 00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,386 How did you find that out? 537 00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:42,263 Well, I don't suppose you ever were a paperboy, were you, Lady Jane? 538 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,234 As a matter of fact, no, I wasn't. 539 00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:46,566 Well, if you ever want to find anything out, 540 00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:50,131 go to the local newsagents. They're like the Ministry of Information. 541 00:36:50,174 --> 00:36:53,632 - Very good, Eric. - Mind you, I had to dig deep. 542 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:56,670 - How deep? - Well, an ice-cream cornet, 543 00:36:56,714 --> 00:37:01,014 quarter of jelly beans, fizzy pop and a comic. 544 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,043 For a nipper. 545 00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:55,265 No, gentlemen. 546 00:37:55,306 --> 00:37:57,297 This way, please. 547 00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:05,344 - Good afternoon. What a lovely day. - Who the hell are you? 548 00:38:05,383 --> 00:38:08,477 - Lovejoy. Who the hell are you? - Er, what is all this? 549 00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:09,850 Ah, Shand. 550 00:38:09,887 --> 00:38:16,622 I have here some lovely piccies of you and Mrs. Russell at the Green Man. 551 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:21,064 They're all of you and Mrs. Russell at the Green Man. Plus some background music. 552 00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:23,464 - I need more time. - I told you... 553 00:38:23,501 --> 00:38:25,492 You didn't give me long enough. 554 00:38:27,171 --> 00:38:28,934 Please. 555 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:33,205 Well, if you haven't got the money then our report has to go in with the photos. 556 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,644 Enough of that. 557 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,808 "After a protracted illness, Detective Inspector Michael Shand 558 00:38:38,849 --> 00:38:41,579 "was declared permanently unfit for police work. 559 00:38:41,619 --> 00:38:44,087 "He will retire on December 23rd, 1988." 560 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:48,148 "Detective Inspector Shand was suspended from police duty in 1987." 561 00:38:49,026 --> 00:38:51,620 So what do you want? 562 00:38:53,964 --> 00:38:57,730 What's the penalty these days for impersonating a police officer? 563 00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,829 All right, Lovejoy, you want to make a deal? 564 00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:06,306 My piccies for your piccies? 565 00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:08,934 Yeah. 566 00:39:08,979 --> 00:39:12,881 And you never bother Mrs. Russell or her husband again. 567 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:26,223 Shut it. 568 00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,254 Shand? Tape. 569 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,970 Wait till they play the rest of it. 570 00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:38,532 Abracadabra! 571 00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:42,577 Fantastic. 572 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,604 Cold, huh? 573 00:39:44,648 --> 00:39:46,639 - All right to lift? - Of course. 574 00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:52,214 It doesn't often happen. I'm speechless. 575 00:39:56,627 --> 00:39:58,185 Lovejoy? Greg Veitch. 576 00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,563 This is farewell and goodbye. I had to go back sooner than expected. 577 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,627 Sorry we didn't crack the eureka. Leaves something for next time, eh? 578 00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:11,801 Thanks to you and the boys for your help. You should've got the check by now. 579 00:40:11,842 --> 00:40:14,470 As they say, your blood's worth bottling, sport. 580 00:40:14,512 --> 00:40:16,673 If you get to Sydney, first shout's on me. 581 00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:21,585 Give us a thought when you next get your leg over Lady Jane. 582 00:40:21,619 --> 00:40:23,610 - Lovejoy! - What? 583 00:41:11,202 --> 00:41:13,193 (Squeaks) 584 00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:47,867 Charlene, get me on the first flight out of Nelson. 585 00:41:47,905 --> 00:41:51,602 And listen, have Torchy Jacobson call me from England, will you? 586 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:03,112 Ah. Jameson? 587 00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:05,280 Sir Max. 588 00:42:05,322 --> 00:42:08,655 How about a couple more bronzes, dear boy? 589 00:42:12,496 --> 00:42:15,090 (Greg) Count the hours, Lovejoy. 590 00:42:15,132 --> 00:42:17,123 What am I talking about? 591 00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:21,160 I'm talking about a Benin bronze. I'm talking about $600,000 Australian. 592 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:24,368 I'm talking about Sir Max Spence and Jameson and you! 593 00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:28,844 Because you are the bastard who introduced me to them! 594 00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:34,141 The Mafia have a saying, Lovejoy. 595 00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:37,449 "Never hate your enemy, it affects your judgment." 596 00:42:37,488 --> 00:42:39,820 But I'm finding that very hard. 597 00:42:53,704 --> 00:42:55,695 (Knocking) 598 00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:18,651 He's not here! 599 00:43:18,696 --> 00:43:22,598 He must've had a call from Sydney as well and decided to go away for the summer. 600 00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:24,863 Lovejoy, about those few days' holiday you owe me. 601 00:43:24,902 --> 00:43:27,769 Come on! We're going to see Jameson. 602 00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:29,796 - OK, Eric? - Heeey! 603 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,314 (Police radio) 604 00:43:56,967 --> 00:44:01,427 Arson. They reckon the whole place reeked of kerosene when they got here. 605 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,963 - What about Jameson? - No sign of him. 606 00:44:04,008 --> 00:44:05,999 (Phone) 607 00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:12,213 Personally, I'd sooner be dead when I'm cremated. 608 00:44:14,018 --> 00:44:16,009 Lovejoy? 609 00:44:19,690 --> 00:44:21,590 Hello, Lovejoy? 610 00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:24,025 Want to know what happened to Jameson's studio? 611 00:44:24,061 --> 00:44:26,689 I said frighten him and they thought I said "fry him." 612 00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:29,858 Tell Sir Max that's what happens to drongos who cross me. 613 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:31,891 You're next, Lovejoy. 614 00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:34,568 Janey. 615 00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:05,768 Max! 616 00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:11,065 Max! 617 00:45:11,108 --> 00:45:13,099 Oh, Lovejoy. 618 00:45:14,812 --> 00:45:16,803 Ah, Max! 619 00:45:21,585 --> 00:45:23,576 Is anything wrong? 620 00:45:24,621 --> 00:45:27,613 - The Benin bronze. - What? 621 00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:31,389 - What happened to it? - I've no idea what you're talking about. 622 00:45:31,428 --> 00:45:33,760 Sir Max, please. 623 00:45:33,797 --> 00:45:37,198 You made a deal with Jameson, didn't you? 624 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,170 - Fantasy, Lovejoy. - Someone set fire to his studio. 625 00:45:42,272 --> 00:45:44,331 - Who? - Greg Veitch. 626 00:45:44,374 --> 00:45:47,810 - He's gone. - No, he's back, and... 627 00:45:47,845 --> 00:45:49,005 Excuse me, Jane. 628 00:45:49,046 --> 00:45:51,310 ...wants your balls on a fork. 629 00:45:51,348 --> 00:45:53,976 Oh, my goodness. 630 00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:56,008 What did you do with the money? 631 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,021 - I spent it. - All of it? 632 00:46:02,059 --> 00:46:03,617 - All. - What on? 633 00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:06,720 I sent it straight to the Inland Revenue. Death duties. 634 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,062 That's great, Max. What about the bronze? 635 00:46:09,099 --> 00:46:14,298 - In Jameson's studio. - There is no Jameson's studio. 636 00:46:14,338 --> 00:46:16,329 What was it doing there anyway? 637 00:46:18,876 --> 00:46:20,776 Come on, Max. 638 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:22,802 Tell us. 639 00:46:26,683 --> 00:46:28,173 I sold it. 640 00:46:28,218 --> 00:46:29,879 Again? 641 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,081 To a Chinese gentleman. 642 00:46:33,157 --> 00:46:35,523 And a Russian. 643 00:46:35,559 --> 00:46:38,221 And to an awfully charming Nigerian. 644 00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:58,845 (Eric) What have you found? 645 00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:01,316 - I'm not sure. - Could it be? 646 00:47:01,351 --> 00:47:03,615 Looks kinda like it, eh? 647 00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:06,913 Million quid's worth? 648 00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:11,350 (Eric) Are you sure, Lovejoy? 649 00:47:11,395 --> 00:47:16,059 I mean, are you sure you haven't just cooked this up? It was just a thought. 650 00:47:16,099 --> 00:47:19,865 I have an auntie in Lyme Regis pining for a visit. 651 00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:28,536 Your chair, Lovejoy. 652 00:47:28,579 --> 00:47:30,570 It's like a fairy on a Christmas tree. 653 00:47:42,226 --> 00:47:45,855 What's that smell? I've smelt it before, recently. 654 00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:48,995 Kerosene. 655 00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,466 Oh, my God. 656 00:47:52,502 --> 00:47:57,303 I mean, what are we going to do? How are we going to get this bloke off our backs? 657 00:47:57,341 --> 00:48:01,004 "If you can keep your head whilst all about you are losing theirs..." 658 00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,910 Yeah? 659 00:48:03,947 --> 00:48:05,938 - I've forgotten the rest. - Oh! 660 00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:16,223 Shand. 661 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,051 (Knocking) 662 00:48:26,270 --> 00:48:28,636 - Mr. Veitch? - Yeah. 663 00:48:28,672 --> 00:48:33,439 We're police officers, sir. I'm Detective Inspector Shand. This is Detective Sergeant Redston. 664 00:48:33,477 --> 00:48:36,844 We're making some enquiries, sir, about a fire. 665 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,281 A suspected arson attack at a local sculptor's foundry. 666 00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:56,230 - You look well for a dead 'un, Jerry. - What do you want? 667 00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:59,861 What do you think I want? Half of what Veitch gave you. 668 00:48:59,903 --> 00:49:04,272 And this will be the final farewell performance, won't it, Inspector? 669 00:49:05,008 --> 00:49:06,805 Ahem. 670 00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:11,003 Plus the negs. 671 00:49:13,850 --> 00:49:15,841 - Ta. - Er, Lovejoy. 672 00:49:16,586 --> 00:49:19,077 Your negs. I'll give your love to Mary Russell. 673 00:49:28,699 --> 00:49:31,600 Still thinking of popping down to Lyme Regis, Tink? 674 00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:35,765 Oh, there's no great rush. She can wait till summer goes. 675 00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,797 And those days off, Eric? 676 00:49:37,841 --> 00:49:41,242 I don't think so. There's too much to do around here, isn't there? 677 00:49:41,278 --> 00:49:43,337 Oh, there's far too much, yeah. 678 00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:46,875 - Can I ask a question? - Certainly. 679 00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,910 - As long as it has to do with black pepper. - No, it certainly has not. 680 00:49:50,954 --> 00:49:53,286 Whatever happened to the Benin bronze? 681 00:49:53,323 --> 00:49:56,349 It melted in the Jameson fire. 682 00:49:56,393 --> 00:50:01,626 Yeah, it's probably stuck to the sole of some fireman's size 12 boot. 683 00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:04,532 - What do you say, Lovejoy? - Being an incurable romantic, 684 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:08,299 I think it's like the Maltese Falcon. We haven't heard the last of it yet. 685 00:50:08,338 --> 00:50:10,431 - What? - You heard what Jameson said. 686 00:50:10,474 --> 00:50:12,874 But I'm a divvy, I sense these things. 687 00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:15,503 Oh, put the kettle on, Lovejoy! 688 00:50:15,545 --> 00:50:16,534 Ha-ha! 689 00:50:16,584 --> 00:50:21,134 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52136

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.