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We�were�discussing�headlines from�the�city�newspaper ��the�other�day...
Damn�shame ������about�MoDeans burning�down.
Do�you�know�what? It's�really�something
how�we�keep�losing those�locations to�drink�at.
The�Ukrainian�Center is�a�healthy consolation,�though.
Well,�everybody�knows the�cheapest�beers�are at�the�Ukrainian�Center.
With�the�Legion�being a�close�second.
When's�Gail�getting�back from�her�South�American singles�resort?
When�she's had�her�fill,�I�suppose.
Delicious�pun.
Thank�you,�Wayne.
Thank�you,�Bonnie.
Now,�was�that your�tummy�grumbling? Or�was�that�you�proper?
That'd ���be�me�proper.
A�little�grumble in�the�jungle�over�there.
Little�grumble in�the�Bronx.
A�little royal�grumble.
It�was �a�grumble�proper.
Now,�I'm�a�devout�pupil of�Social�Justice�Warriors, Professor�Tricia.
The�devoutest.
But�dare�I�say�things in�the�city�is�getting wee�bit�out�of�hands.
What's�the�frequency, Kenneth?
Well,�the�story�I�just�read here�is�quite�the�incredible chain�of�events.
You�know,�there's so�many�causes�now.
They're�just�tripping right�over�each�other.
Well,�it's�better�than driving�into�each�other.
That�was a�bit�dark,�Dary.
What's�the�scoop,�Dan?
Here's�the�scoop.
Bunch�of�gals�said�that they�were�gonna�stop tweetings�for�a�day
out�of�protest for�sexual�abuses �towards�womens.
And�they�encouraged�mens to�stops�tweetings in�supports�of�the�womens.
So,�what's ��the�problem? Oh,�I�wasn't�finished.
Well,�what happened�next?
I'll�tells�you what�happens�next.
Some�black�gals�joined�in on�the�protest,
but�they�got�mad at�the�white�girls protesting,
because�womens�of�colors didn't�receive�the�same supports�on�similar�issues.
I�think�I�see�where you're�going�with�this.
Well,�did�something happen�even�after�that?
Something did�happen�after�that.
One�of�the�white�gals asking�for�supports got�supports�from�one�guy,
but�she�told�him he�could�fuck�right�off
because�apparently�he�used to�call�gals�"broads" back�in�high�schools.
But�they�are�tweeting about�not�tweeting. Do�I�have�that�right?
I�got�a�feeling�something even�happened�after�that.
Yeah,�me�too,�Dary. ����Me�too. I�got�that ����same�feeling.
Well,�here's�what�happened even�after�that.
The�President�of�lceland sends�out
a�happy�birthday�tweet to�his�daughter,�Alfheiour.
And�now�all�the�gals saying�that�you shouldn't�be�tweetings
turns�hims�into public�enemy�number�one.
And�it's�on�Twitter they're�doing�that?
And�to�the�President of�lceland, they're�doing�that?
Icelanders�are�the�most lovable�fucking�people on�planet�Earth.
One�more�thing even�happens, so�help�me�God.
So�help�me�God. Something�else did�happen�after�that,
because�it�turns�out the�President�of�lceland's daughter,�Alfheiour,
has�got�herself�a�case of�the�Down�syndromes.
So�here�comes�the�Special Olympics�advocates,
and�they're in�a�real�bad�way.
As�they�should�be.
If�you�wanna�go�at�lceland, you�better�have�your�fucking ����facts�right.
Well,�here's�the�kicker, turns�out�the�President�of Iceland's�daughter,�Alfheiour,
is�also�a�refugee from�war-torn�Somalia �what�he's�adopted.
So�that�increases the�tension�between
the�womens�of�colors not�tweeting
and�the�white�gals not�tweeting.
To�top�it�all�off, here�comes�World�Vision,
and�they're coming�in�a'swinging.
Fuck�every�duck. What�next?
Oh,�here's�what happened�after�that.
Remember�that�first�guy that�they�told to�fucks�right�off
'cause�he�used�to call�gals�"broads" back�in�high�school?
Turns�out�he's�paralyzed from�the�waist�down.
So�here�comes�the�war�amps saying , "You�better�back the�fuck�off�our�guy."
Enough's�enough.
I�can't�handle�anymore.
Well,�there's�no�way there's�more. There's�no�goddamn�way.
Wait. �There�is�more.
Turns�out�the�President of�lcelands
is�paralyzed�from the�necks�down,
so�now�everybody's�back on�lceland's�sides�again.
Oh,�right�where they�should've�been the�whole�fucking�time.
Now,�it's�from�the�neck�down that�he's�paralyzed,�you�say?
So,�how�does�he even�make�a�tweet?
And�they're�all doing�this�on�Twitter?
Where�else�but�Twitter would�this�be�happenings?
On�the�day�they're�not exposed�to�be�tweeting?
On�the�very�same�day they're�not�exposed to�be�tweeting.
Jesus!
Look�what's�happening in�local�news!
What?
Stay�tuned�to�find�out.
Well,�the�Letterkenny�Chiefs is�changing�their�names and�logos.
That�sounds ����about�right. Probably�for�the�best.
They�had�a�good�run.
The�only�constant�in�life is�change,�as�they�say.
"The�only�constant in�life�is�change"?
It's�a�wee�bit�to�wrap your�head�around�there.
Well,�the�only�constant around�here�is�everything stays�the�sames.
Any-who...
According�to�the�writers of�the�Letterkenny�Banner,
the�whole�world's�going�to hells�in�a�hand�baskets.
Sounds about�right.
Probably �����for�the�best. We�had�a�good�run.
As�long�as�we're going�in�a�hand�basket.
As�opposed�to what�kind�of�basket?
Well,�there's�a�bazillion different�kinds�of�baskets.
Hand�and�waste�paper. What�else?
Okay,�so�maybe there's�not�a�bazillion different�kinds,�but...
Yeah,�it's ���definitely�not�a�bazillion different�kinds...
Yeah,�that's�what I�just�said,
"There's�not�a�bazillion different�kinds�of�baskets."
Well,�don't�come�in�here saying�"bazillion"�unless you�mean�a�bazillion...
Okay. �I�was�just�for emphasis. �I�was�saying,
"Bazillion�different kinds�of�baskets."
Go�ahead�and�name five�kinds�of�baskets
besides�hands and�waste�paper.
Okay. �Floor�basket,
hanging�basket, wall�basket,
bike�basket, basketball�basket.
All�right.
I�withdraw.
Bamboo�bakset, �������britan�bakset, liquor�bakset.
Bakset?
Yes,�that's�one�of two�words�that�Dary can't�say�right.
What's�the�other one,�Dary? Brefekst.
Yeah,�Dary�can't�say the�word�"breakfast"�either.
You�wanna try,�bud? Brefekst. �Bakset.
Attaboy.
So,�what�are�they changing�the�name�to?
According�to�this,�they're letting�the�publics�decides with�an�onlines�polls.
Ooh,�boy.
Not�a �good�idea. Is�there�a�worse�idea?
Currently,�the�Letterkenny Rough�Riders�is�leading by�a�hair.
Is�that�your�tummy�grumbling? Or�is�that�you�proper?
No,�that'd�be�me�proper.
What's�the�rumpus, grumpus?
Don't�you�think�that�there's already�too�many�Rough�Riders in�the�area�as�it�is?
You�got �������the�Redford�Rough�Riders. And�a�one.
You�got the�Welno�Rough�Riders. And�a�two.
And�don't�forget the�Greater�Maddawascow Rough�Riders.
And�a�three. �And�that's just�off�the�tippy�tops �����of�our�heads.
Does�get�a�bit�confusing during�playoffs.
People�like�to�root�for a�Rough�Rider.
Yeah,�but�if�we're�all going�to�be�Rough�Riders, why�even�have�teams?
Why�not�just�be a�big�bunch�of �����Rough�Riders?
Why�don't�you�just name�the�whole�league the�Rough�Riders?
Why�even�stop�there?
Why�don't�we�just�go�ahead and�name�the�whole human�race�Rough�Riders?
Like,�you�see what�I'm�saying.
Yeah. �Today, we're�all�Rough�Riders.
What�exactly is�a�Rough�Rider?
I�don't�know. �All's�I'm�saying is�that�there's�too�many of�them. �Don't�you�see?
So,�what�else is�in�the�running?
Ah,�second�place is�the�Letterkenny ���Muff�Riders.
Yeah,�I�can�get behind�Muff�Riders.
Hmm. �What�else?
Third�place�goes�to the�Letterkenny Foot�Fuckers.
Shouldn't�that�be in�first�place,
on�account�that�it has�foot�in�the�title, and�it's�a�soccer�team?
What�else?
Well,�fourth�place�is�a�tie between�the�Big�Nickelbacks and�the�69ers.
Both�good�choices.
I�don't�know who�to�root�for.
People�likes to�root�for�a�69er.
I�don't�have�a�problem.
I�don't�have... I�don't�have�a�problem.
I�don't�have�a�problem.
Where�is�it? ��������lt's�right�here.
First,�the�meth.
I�think you�do�have�a�problem.
I�don't�have�a�problem!
You've�never�acted like�this�before�the...
This�is�all�because�of�the...
I've�never�seen�it get�its�claws�in�so�deep.
Give�me�the�dark�web.
Stewart! I�need�the�dark�web.
You're�killing�him!
It�is�killing�you!
Give�me�the�dark�web.
Take�the�dark�web.
The�dark�web�is�yours.
Okay,�so�you�keep the�meth�over�there,�right?
We�do. �Let�me�show�you.
I'm�in.
Letterkenny,�the�hard�right is�inside�of�you.
Fuck!
These�stooges�again.
I�don't�see�a�video�request from�them.
How�am�I�hearing�their�voice?
Must�be�some�high-tech dark�web�shit.
Stu?�Stu!
Appreciate�the Stooges�reference.
Everyone�knows�Curly�was the�original�skinhead.
Plus�Ron�Asheton�from �lggy�and�the�Stooges�had�a�real Third�Reich�obsession.
Good�Christ!�lt�smells�like somebody's�been�smoking �����gate�waves�in�here.
The�Chiefs�are�changing their�name.
Who?
Your�beloved�junior�soccer�team.
Who?
Ah!�Nobody�cares�about anything�anymore.
What�about�the�history? The�tradition?
What's�a�junior�soccer�team?
Some�people �����still�care,�all�right? You�best�believe.
And�we�are�recruiting.
So,�gentlemen,�are�you�ready to�join�the�hard�right?
Politics?
We're�anarchists.
Yeah. �Who�cares�if�the soccer�team�changes�its�name?
The�hard�right,�that's�who.
Chiefs�is�a�strong�name.
I�remember�a�time�when being�called�a�chief was�a�good�thing.
People�like�to�root�for�a�chief.
This�used�to�be�the�heartland.
Now,�it�is�just�the other�heartland
of�far-left�liberal�cucks.
Did�somebody�get�their feelings�hurt?
Did�somebody�sign�a�petition?
Uh,�news�flash, you're�all�caving�to�PC�culture.
You're�just�a�bunch�of far-left�liberal�fucking ����pinko�snowflakes.
Oh,�we've�been�called�worse.
But�might�as�well�just�change the�name�to�Letterkenny�Cucks.
Regional�champs of�Cuckistan! Okay.
This�is�what�the�failed patriarchy�looks�like.
I'm�so�sick�of�you beta�male�SJWs.
We're�not�SJWs.
I�actually�identify as�a�wood�nymph.
Super�weird. Be�gone.
Oh,�we'll�be�gone.
Just�as�soon�as�you�betas show�us�where�the�alphas�are.
I'll�see�myself�out. I�assume�all�of�you are�following�suit.
He�talks�more�than�I�do.
That�was�weird.
Ah,�yes!�Now�we're�talking. The�alphas. �Real�men.
No�matriarchy�in�sight.
Who�the�fuck�are�you?
I'm�Hard�Right�Jay, and�I�represent�the�Hard�Right,
a�group�with far-right�ideologies
that�rejects�mainstream ���conservatism�and�endeavors�to promote�white�nationalism.
Oh,�white�nationalism?
Good�thing�Gail, ����the�owner�of�the�old�bars ain't�here.
Oh,�small�town�bar�owner, what�is�she , like�a�good sixth-generation�Scottish�woman?
No.
What�are�you's�getting�on about�over�there?
Did�you�dinks bring�these�dudes�here?
What's�the�first meal�of�the�day, Daryl?
Your�mom. Attaboy.
Breakfast!
Ah,�that's�it,�right. �Jesus�Christ. Yeah,�yeah.
Run�away�like�true�socialistas.
At�least�your�actions ��������are�consistent�with your�failed�ideologies.
You�edgelords ������are�a�walking�horde of�participation�trophies.
Go�back�to�giving�out hand�jobs�for�free.
We're�not�socialistas. I'm�still�with�her.
We're�anarchists. And�our�hand�jobs�aren't�free.
So...
Forg...
Forgive...
Forgive�them. �They�don't see�the�big�picture. �Yet.
What's�the�big�picture?
You�wanna�see�how�deep this�rabbit�hole�really�goes?
Or�are�you�guys�globalists?
What's�that? Ah!
I'll�admit,�I�was�anticipating
the�low�energy,�country�cuck road�show,�but�you're�curious.
Color�me�glad.
It's�time�to�wake�up.
It's�time�for�you�to�spit�out all�of�the�toxic�sludge
you've�been�spoon�fed by�the�lan�Hanomansings
and�the�Gloria�Macarenkos of�the�world.
We�are�a�movement.
Bowel�movement by�the�looks�of�it.
Ah,�hachi-machi, I�like�your�fire.
We�could�use�more�women in�the�movement.
We�have�next�to�none, for�reasons�we�can't ������quite�decode.
Pitter�patter. Yes,�pitter�patter.
All�lives�matter.
News�flash, the�out�of�control�PC�police
are�forcing�your�beloved Letterkenny�Chiefs to�change�their�name.
Yeah,�we�caught�that.
Yeah,�well,�we're�here to�protest�that.
Our�legions�of�brothers will�be�joining�me
at�John�Letterkenny�Field later.
And�we�want�you, the�salt�of�the�earth�alphas,
the�stewards�of�traditional morals, traditional�values, the�silent�majority,�to�join�us.
The�fight�against�poor, uneducated�libtards
requires�nothing�short of�a�massacre.
Now�you're�a�bit fucking�dramatic,�eh?
Why�is�keeping�the�name of�the�Chiefs�important�to�you?
It�isn't. Oh,�oh,�it's�not. �lt�isn't?
Well,�not�really, ������in�the�long�run. Nor�the�short�run,�really.
Yeah,�no�need�to�get�your jimmies�all�out�of�joint.
Well,�but�you... �You�understand why�it's�important to�fight�the�left?�Yes?
I�didn't�know�it�was�necessary, much�less�important.
The�point�is ������the�government is�trying�to�keep�you
and�your�humble�agricultural livelihoods�thoroughly�cucked.
It's�time�to�wake�up and�smell�the�chem�trails.
It's�time�to�stand�up for�your�God�given�right
to�have�kick-ass�names for�all�your�favorite�teams,
and�fuck�anybody�whose�feelings get�hurt�along�the�way.
Oh,�is�that�what�time�it�is?
Oh,�you�think�I�don't�have feelings? You�think�my�feelings don't�get�hurt?
My�grandfather�has a�pacemaker,�right?
Every�time�I�watch �����the�lndiana�Pacers play�basketball,
it�makes�me�think�of�Papi.
And�his�irregular�heartbeat. And�it�fucks�me�up,�big�time.
You�see�me�complaining to�the�lndiana�Pacers or�anyone�in�the�NBA?
Mmm,�suck�it�up,�buttercup.
So? So�what?
So�join�us.
Tell�you�what. �I'll�fight�you�for�it. You�and�me.
Sorry,�what? What�I'm�saying�is,
I'll�fight�you.
And�if�you�win�I'll�come to�the�field�with�you.
But�if�you�lose, we're�not�asking�for anything�in�return.
Ah,�you�SJWs�are�a�lost�cause.
I'm�going�to�troll!
Letterkenny�Chiefs! Letterkenny�Chiefs!
We�can�do�this,�buddy.
We�can�establish�order, buddy. �I�know�we�can.
Of�course�you�can.
Ah.
Hockey,�eh?
Fastest�sport�on�Earth.
And�the�whitest�too,�arguably, so�bonus�points�there.
Okay,�the�Catholic�school�games are�on�the�other�rink.
Uh,�we�just,�uh, thought�you�strapping�alphas
might�want�to�know that�the�globalists
are�trying�to�turn�your small�town�into�a�hive
of�post-castrati�extremism.
What�the�fuck's�castrati?
Uh,�it's�a�pasta,�bro.
Uh,�it's�pronounced "pah-sta,"�bro. ��ls�it?
Today,�it's�the�Letterkenny ���Chiefs. Tomorrow,�it'll�be ���your�beloved�Shamrocks.
Well,�you�know,�the�Chiefs is�kinda�not�PC�though,�buddy.
We�try�to�keep�it,�like, kind�of�in�touch�there.
What�if�they�decide�to�get butt�hurt�over�the�Letterkenny Shamrocks�name�next
and�force�you�to�change�it
just�because�they�don't�know ��how�to�control�their... Their ���fragile�beta�male�emotions?
What�then,�huh?
You�don't�see�a�bunch of�lrish�people�protesting ���here,�do�you?
No,�you�don't.
They're�not, �"Argh, please�change�your�name!"
None�of�that's�happening. You�wanna�know�why?
Because�lrish�people�don't fucking�complain�about anything,�all�right?
Irish�people�know�how�to take�it�like�a�champ,�okay?
You�take�their�potatoes�away, they�don't�say�a�fucking�thing.
It's�pronounced "po-tah-to. " ������ls�it?
It's�called�"manning�up," ��gentlemen. You�might�want ��to�look�into�it.
What�do�you�think,�buddy?
I�think�this�guy's a�goof,�buddy.
Cool,�buddy. Yeah,�but...
On�that�note,�I'm�not�really a�fan�of�the�Shamrocks�name.
-Really? -Yeah.
Me�too,�buddy. �I�mean, if�we're�talking�about �some�kind�of�negative
stereotype�attached to�that�name,�you�know?
Right?�lt's�like, ��������just�because my�name�is�Reilly,
that�doesn't�necessarily�mean that�I'm�a�drunken�leprechaun.
Maybe�we�should�change the�name,�buddy.
What's�this�about�a�name�change?
If�anybody�should �������change�their�names, it�should�be�us.
What�the�hell's�a Shamrockette�anyway? A�leaf�with�tits?
Oh,�this�isn't�your matriarch,�is�it?
You�can't�just�add�"ette"�to ����the�end�of�the�men's�team and�expect�women�to�like�it.
We�should�change�our�names to�something�fierce�and�feminine and�powerful.
Like�the�Screaming�Banshees.
That's�good,�Mary-Anne. lmpressive�creativity.
Couple�of�hens�clucking�away.
Especially�for�a�girl�who had�to�start�kindergarten two�years�late
because�she�couldn't grasp�coloring.
I've�plenty�of�good�ideas, Betty-Anne.
Like�convincing�your�dad to�get�a�vasectomy
so�I�wouldn't�have�to�worry ���about�another�you�coming�into the�world�while�I�fucked�him.
We�were�just�starting to�get�them�under�control.
You're�screwing�it�up,�bro. You're�getting�them�all fired�up�again.
Bringing�family�into�it�now, Mary-Anne?�I�would�never stoop�so�low,
especially�with�the recent�passing�of�your�mother,
who�told�me�before�she�died that�my�dad�is�your�dad�too.
You're�fucking�up ��our�progress, man. Just�get�out�of�here.
It's�only�gonna�get�worse�too. Thanks�a�lot.
Ah,�these�Tumblrinas have�lost�the�plot�anyway.
Letterkenny�Chiefs! Letterkenny�Chiefs!
Where�the�fuck�is�everybody? This�is�supposed�to�be a�protest.
We�need�people�to�protest and�piss�off�and�agitate.
Ay,�ay,�ay. �Whose�idea�was�this stupid�name�change�anyway?
Ours.
S'up,�Nazis?
Nazi?�Hilarious.
Ain't�nothing�funny about�this,�honky.
No,�but�Nazi,�really?�Nazi?
Would�a�Nazi�ride a�Yamaha�scooter?
A�pansy�Nazi?�Sure.
Would�a�Nazi�have a�Jew�for�a�lawyer?
Could�you�refer�me,�asshole? 'Cause�I'm�gonna�need�one ����in�a�minute.
Would�a�Nazi�own�a�game-worn Tim�Duncan�jersey?
You�sniff�that�shit�before bed�at�night,�cupcake?
Would�a�Nazi's�favorite�snacks include�ramen,�pad�thai,�or�pho?
It's�pronounced�"pho-e," "Pho-e,"�dummy.
Oh.
All�right,�would�a�Nazi �����get�turned�on�by interracial�gang�bang�porn?
Who�fucking�doesn't?
All�right,�I�think�we�all need�to�chill�out�here.
We're�getting ahead�of�ourselves.
We�are�an�inclusive�movement.
I�think�you�should�join�us.
Is�that�what�we�should�do?
Yes.
Think�about�it,�Sacagawea.
We�share�a�lot. We�have�a�lot�in�common.
We�both�pride�ourselves on�traditional�values, traditional�morals.
We�share�a�very anti-immigration�stance.
You�know,�if�you�think�about�it, we�actually�share�a�lot of�common�ground.
Historically, �sharing�ground�hasn't been�your�strong�suit.
If�you�guys�are�here, �����then�who's�jerking�off in�your�mom's�basement?
Somewhere�there's�a ��men's�rights�meeting missing�their�door�greeters.
Yeah,�look. �I�get�it. You're�frustrated.
It�must�be�really�exhausting never�paying�taxes ����your�whole�lives.
All�right. Enough�chin-wagging.
Another�hen�cluck, cluck,�clucking�away.
Hey,�no�one�had�a�problem with�this. No�one�had�a�problem until�you's�came�to�town.
That's�it. �The�Hard�Right, coming�to�a�town�near�you.
Yeah,�we�didn't�come�here to�counter-protest.
Ain't�nothing�peaceful gonna�happen�today.
Hey,�we�don't practice�violence.
We�do. We�don't�practice�violence.
But�we�are�prepared�for�it.
All�right. �Let's�go�then. Let's�do�this.
You�and�what�army?
That�one.
Golden�pastures�from�here.
It's�all�I�see.
Nary�a�chem�trail�in�the�sky.
Possibility�of a�gentle�Nor'Wester.
Oh,�three�to�five�clicks by�the�look�of�her.
Well,�times�to�check�in on�the�Letterkenny�Banner.
What's�the�latest?
Was�that�your�tummy�grumbling or�was�that�you�proper?
That�was�my�tummy. Good�enough.
Well,�it�looks�like�they ���canceled�the�online�polls to�pick�the�new�team�name.
Oh,�is�that�what�they�did?
Yeah,�it�seems�like�the Muff�Riders�was runnings�away�with�it.
Foot�Fuckers�made more�sense�by�far. �I'm�disappointed.
What�are�they going�with�instead?
Rough�Riders. Of�course�they�are.
Playoffs�start�next�week.
Who�they�playing? Runforough�Rough�Riders.
That's�gonna�be a�really�good�game.
Must�be�hard�kicking the�ball�in�the�snow.
My�money's�on�the�Rough�Riders.
You're�crazy. �I�got�the Rough�Riders�by�a�mile.
Care�to�make�it�interesting?
I'll�put�ten�bucks on�the�Rough�Riders.
Make�it�twenty. I'll�take�that.
I'm�in�too.
See,�Wayne,�people�love to�cheer�for�a�rough�rider.
The�world's�going�to�hell in�a�hand�basket,�big�brother.
In�a�what,�Dary?
Brefekst�bakset. Attaboy.
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