All language subtitles for Letterkenny s05e03 Hard Right Jay.eng

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Original subtitles

We�were�discussing�headlines from�the�city�newspaper ��the�other�day...

Damn�shame ������about�MoDeans burning�down.

Do�you�know�what? It's�really�something

how�we�keep�losing those�locations to�drink�at.

The�Ukrainian�Center is�a�healthy consolation,�though.

Well,�everybody�knows the�cheapest�beers�are at�the�Ukrainian�Center.

With�the�Legion�being a�close�second.

When's�Gail�getting�back from�her�South�American singles�resort?

When�she's had�her�fill,�I�suppose.

Delicious�pun.

Thank�you,�Wayne.

Thank�you,�Bonnie.

Now,�was�that your�tummy�grumbling? Or�was�that�you�proper?

That'd ���be�me�proper.

A�little�grumble in�the�jungle�over�there.

Little�grumble in�the�Bronx.

A�little royal�grumble.

It�was �a�grumble�proper.

Now,�I'm�a�devout�pupil of�Social�Justice�Warriors, Professor�Tricia.

The�devoutest.

But�dare�I�say�things in�the�city�is�getting wee�bit�out�of�hands.

What's�the�frequency, Kenneth?

Well,�the�story�I�just�read here�is�quite�the�incredible chain�of�events.

You�know,�there's so�many�causes�now.

They're�just�tripping right�over�each�other.

Well,�it's�better�than driving�into�each�other.

That�was a�bit�dark,�Dary.

What's�the�scoop,�Dan?

Here's�the�scoop.

Bunch�of�gals�said�that they�were�gonna�stop tweetings�for�a�day

out�of�protest for�sexual�abuses �towards�womens.

And�they�encouraged�mens to�stops�tweetings in�supports�of�the�womens.

So,�what's ��the�problem? Oh,�I�wasn't�finished.

Well,�what happened�next?

I'll�tells�you what�happens�next.

Some�black�gals�joined�in on�the�protest,

but�they�got�mad at�the�white�girls protesting,

because�womens�of�colors didn't�receive�the�same supports�on�similar�issues.

I�think�I�see�where you're�going�with�this.

Well,�did�something happen�even�after�that?

Something did�happen�after�that.

One�of�the�white�gals asking�for�supports got�supports�from�one�guy,

but�she�told�him he�could�fuck�right�off

because�apparently�he�used to�call�gals�"broads" back�in�high�schools.

But�they�are�tweeting about�not�tweeting. Do�I�have�that�right?

I�got�a�feeling�something even�happened�after�that.

Yeah,�me�too,�Dary. ����Me�too. I�got�that ����same�feeling.

Well,�here's�what�happened even�after�that.

The�President�of�lceland sends�out

a�happy�birthday�tweet to�his�daughter,�Alfheiour.

And�now�all�the�gals saying�that�you shouldn't�be�tweetings

turns�hims�into public�enemy�number�one.

And�it's�on�Twitter they're�doing�that?

And�to�the�President of�lceland, they're�doing�that?

Icelanders�are�the�most lovable�fucking�people on�planet�Earth.

One�more�thing even�happens, so�help�me�God.

So�help�me�God. Something�else did�happen�after�that,

because�it�turns�out the�President�of�lceland's daughter,�Alfheiour,

has�got�herself�a�case of�the�Down�syndromes.

So�here�comes�the�Special Olympics�advocates,

and�they're in�a�real�bad�way.

As�they�should�be.

If�you�wanna�go�at�lceland, you�better�have�your�fucking ����facts�right.

Well,�here's�the�kicker, turns�out�the�President�of Iceland's�daughter,�Alfheiour,

is�also�a�refugee from�war-torn�Somalia �what�he's�adopted.

So�that�increases the�tension�between

the�womens�of�colors not�tweeting

and�the�white�gals not�tweeting.

To�top�it�all�off, here�comes�World�Vision,

and�they're coming�in�a'swinging.

Fuck�every�duck. What�next?

Oh,�here's�what happened�after�that.

Remember�that�first�guy that�they�told to�fucks�right�off

'cause�he�used�to call�gals�"broads" back�in�high�school?

Turns�out�he's�paralyzed from�the�waist�down.

So�here�comes�the�war�amps saying , "You�better�back the�fuck�off�our�guy."

Enough's�enough.

I�can't�handle�anymore.

Well,�there's�no�way there's�more. There's�no�goddamn�way.

Wait. �There�is�more.

Turns�out�the�President of�lcelands

is�paralyzed�from the�necks�down,

so�now�everybody's�back on�lceland's�sides�again.

Oh,�right�where they�should've�been the�whole�fucking�time.

Now,�it's�from�the�neck�down that�he's�paralyzed,�you�say?

So,�how�does�he even�make�a�tweet?

And�they're�all doing�this�on�Twitter?

Where�else�but�Twitter would�this�be�happenings?

On�the�day�they're�not exposed�to�be�tweeting?

On�the�very�same�day they're�not�exposed to�be�tweeting.

Jesus!

Look�what's�happening in�local�news!

What?

Stay�tuned�to�find�out.

Well,�the�Letterkenny�Chiefs is�changing�their�names and�logos.

That�sounds ����about�right. Probably�for�the�best.

They�had�a�good�run.

The�only�constant�in�life is�change,�as�they�say.

"The�only�constant in�life�is�change"?

It's�a�wee�bit�to�wrap your�head�around�there.

Well,�the�only�constant around�here�is�everything stays�the�sames.

Any-who...

According�to�the�writers of�the�Letterkenny�Banner,

the�whole�world's�going�to hells�in�a�hand�baskets.

Sounds about�right.

Probably �����for�the�best. We�had�a�good�run.

As�long�as�we're going�in�a�hand�basket.

As�opposed�to what�kind�of�basket?

Well,�there's�a�bazillion different�kinds�of�baskets.

Hand�and�waste�paper. What�else?

Okay,�so�maybe there's�not�a�bazillion different�kinds,�but...

Yeah,�it's ���definitely�not�a�bazillion different�kinds...

Yeah,�that's�what I�just�said,

"There's�not�a�bazillion different�kinds�of�baskets."

Well,�don't�come�in�here saying�"bazillion"�unless you�mean�a�bazillion...

Okay. �I�was�just�for emphasis. �I�was�saying,

"Bazillion�different kinds�of�baskets."

Go�ahead�and�name five�kinds�of�baskets

besides�hands and�waste�paper.

Okay. �Floor�basket,

hanging�basket, wall�basket,

bike�basket, basketball�basket.

All�right.

I�withdraw.

Bamboo�bakset, �������britan�bakset, liquor�bakset.

Bakset?

Yes,�that's�one�of two�words�that�Dary can't�say�right.

What's�the�other one,�Dary? Brefekst.

Yeah,�Dary�can't�say the�word�"breakfast"�either.

You�wanna try,�bud? Brefekst. �Bakset.

Attaboy.

So,�what�are�they changing�the�name�to?

According�to�this,�they're letting�the�publics�decides with�an�onlines�polls.

Ooh,�boy.

Not�a �good�idea. Is�there�a�worse�idea?

Currently,�the�Letterkenny Rough�Riders�is�leading by�a�hair.

Is�that�your�tummy�grumbling? Or�is�that�you�proper?

No,�that'd�be�me�proper.

What's�the�rumpus, grumpus?

Don't�you�think�that�there's already�too�many�Rough�Riders in�the�area�as�it�is?

You�got �������the�Redford�Rough�Riders. And�a�one.

You�got the�Welno�Rough�Riders. And�a�two.

And�don't�forget the�Greater�Maddawascow Rough�Riders.

And�a�three. �And�that's just�off�the�tippy�tops �����of�our�heads.

Does�get�a�bit�confusing during�playoffs.

People�like�to�root�for a�Rough�Rider.

Yeah,�but�if�we're�all going�to�be�Rough�Riders, why�even�have�teams?

Why�not�just�be a�big�bunch�of �����Rough�Riders?

Why�don't�you�just name�the�whole�league the�Rough�Riders?

Why�even�stop�there?

Why�don't�we�just�go�ahead and�name�the�whole human�race�Rough�Riders?

Like,�you�see what�I'm�saying.

Yeah. �Today, we're�all�Rough�Riders.

What�exactly is�a�Rough�Rider?

I�don't�know. �All's�I'm�saying is�that�there's�too�many of�them. �Don't�you�see?

So,�what�else is�in�the�running?

Ah,�second�place is�the�Letterkenny ���Muff�Riders.

Yeah,�I�can�get behind�Muff�Riders.

Hmm. �What�else?

Third�place�goes�to the�Letterkenny Foot�Fuckers.

Shouldn't�that�be in�first�place,

on�account�that�it has�foot�in�the�title, and�it's�a�soccer�team?

What�else?

Well,�fourth�place�is�a�tie between�the�Big�Nickelbacks and�the�69ers.

Both�good�choices.

I�don't�know who�to�root�for.

People�likes to�root�for�a�69er.

I�don't�have�a�problem.

I�don't�have... I�don't�have�a�problem.

I�don't�have�a�problem.

Where�is�it? ��������lt's�right�here.

First,�the�meth.

I�think you�do�have�a�problem.

I�don't�have�a�problem!

You've�never�acted like�this�before�the...

This�is�all�because�of�the...

I've�never�seen�it get�its�claws�in�so�deep.

Give�me�the�dark�web.

Stewart! I�need�the�dark�web.

You're�killing�him!

It�is�killing�you!

Give�me�the�dark�web.

Take�the�dark�web.

The�dark�web�is�yours.

Okay,�so�you�keep the�meth�over�there,�right?

We�do. �Let�me�show�you.

I'm�in.

Letterkenny,�the�hard�right is�inside�of�you.

Fuck!

These�stooges�again.

I�don't�see�a�video�request from�them.

How�am�I�hearing�their�voice?

Must�be�some�high-tech dark�web�shit.

Stu?�Stu!

Appreciate�the Stooges�reference.

Everyone�knows�Curly�was the�original�skinhead.

Plus�Ron�Asheton�from �lggy�and�the�Stooges�had�a�real Third�Reich�obsession.

Good�Christ!�lt�smells�like somebody's�been�smoking �����gate�waves�in�here.

The�Chiefs�are�changing their�name.

Who?

Your�beloved�junior�soccer�team.

Who?

Ah!�Nobody�cares�about anything�anymore.

What�about�the�history? The�tradition?

What's�a�junior�soccer�team?

Some�people �����still�care,�all�right? You�best�believe.

And�we�are�recruiting.

So,�gentlemen,�are�you�ready to�join�the�hard�right?

Politics?

We're�anarchists.

Yeah. �Who�cares�if�the soccer�team�changes�its�name?

The�hard�right,�that's�who.

Chiefs�is�a�strong�name.

I�remember�a�time�when being�called�a�chief was�a�good�thing.

People�like�to�root�for�a�chief.

This�used�to�be�the�heartland.

Now,�it�is�just�the other�heartland

of�far-left�liberal�cucks.

Did�somebody�get�their feelings�hurt?

Did�somebody�sign�a�petition?

Uh,�news�flash, you're�all�caving�to�PC�culture.

You're�just�a�bunch�of far-left�liberal�fucking ����pinko�snowflakes.

Oh,�we've�been�called�worse.

But�might�as�well�just�change the�name�to�Letterkenny�Cucks.

Regional�champs of�Cuckistan! Okay.

This�is�what�the�failed patriarchy�looks�like.

I'm�so�sick�of�you beta�male�SJWs.

We're�not�SJWs.

I�actually�identify as�a�wood�nymph.

Super�weird. Be�gone.

Oh,�we'll�be�gone.

Just�as�soon�as�you�betas show�us�where�the�alphas�are.

I'll�see�myself�out. I�assume�all�of�you are�following�suit.

He�talks�more�than�I�do.

That�was�weird.

Ah,�yes!�Now�we're�talking. The�alphas. �Real�men.

No�matriarchy�in�sight.

Who�the�fuck�are�you?

I'm�Hard�Right�Jay, and�I�represent�the�Hard�Right,

a�group�with far-right�ideologies

that�rejects�mainstream ���conservatism�and�endeavors�to promote�white�nationalism.

Oh,�white�nationalism?

Good�thing�Gail, ����the�owner�of�the�old�bars ain't�here.

Oh,�small�town�bar�owner, what�is�she , like�a�good sixth-generation�Scottish�woman?

No.

What�are�you's�getting�on about�over�there?

Did�you�dinks bring�these�dudes�here?

What's�the�first meal�of�the�day, Daryl?

Your�mom. Attaboy.

Breakfast!

Ah,�that's�it,�right. �Jesus�Christ. Yeah,�yeah.

Run�away�like�true�socialistas.

At�least�your�actions ��������are�consistent�with your�failed�ideologies.

You�edgelords ������are�a�walking�horde of�participation�trophies.

Go�back�to�giving�out hand�jobs�for�free.

We're�not�socialistas. I'm�still�with�her.

We're�anarchists. And�our�hand�jobs�aren't�free.

So...

Forg...

Forgive...

Forgive�them. �They�don't see�the�big�picture. �Yet.

What's�the�big�picture?

You�wanna�see�how�deep this�rabbit�hole�really�goes?

Or�are�you�guys�globalists?

What's�that? Ah!

I'll�admit,�I�was�anticipating

the�low�energy,�country�cuck road�show,�but�you're�curious.

Color�me�glad.

It's�time�to�wake�up.

It's�time�for�you�to�spit�out all�of�the�toxic�sludge

you've�been�spoon�fed by�the�lan�Hanomansings

and�the�Gloria�Macarenkos of�the�world.

We�are�a�movement.

Bowel�movement by�the�looks�of�it.

Ah,�hachi-machi, I�like�your�fire.

We�could�use�more�women in�the�movement.

We�have�next�to�none, for�reasons�we�can't ������quite�decode.

Pitter�patter. Yes,�pitter�patter.

All�lives�matter.

News�flash, the�out�of�control�PC�police

are�forcing�your�beloved Letterkenny�Chiefs to�change�their�name.

Yeah,�we�caught�that.

Yeah,�well,�we're�here to�protest�that.

Our�legions�of�brothers will�be�joining�me

at�John�Letterkenny�Field later.

And�we�want�you, the�salt�of�the�earth�alphas,

the�stewards�of�traditional morals, traditional�values, the�silent�majority,�to�join�us.

The�fight�against�poor, uneducated�libtards

requires�nothing�short of�a�massacre.

Now�you're�a�bit fucking�dramatic,�eh?

Why�is�keeping�the�name of�the�Chiefs�important�to�you?

It�isn't. Oh,�oh,�it's�not. �lt�isn't?

Well,�not�really, ������in�the�long�run. Nor�the�short�run,�really.

Yeah,�no�need�to�get�your jimmies�all�out�of�joint.

Well,�but�you... �You�understand why�it's�important to�fight�the�left?�Yes?

I�didn't�know�it�was�necessary, much�less�important.

The�point�is ������the�government is�trying�to�keep�you

and�your�humble�agricultural livelihoods�thoroughly�cucked.

It's�time�to�wake�up and�smell�the�chem�trails.

It's�time�to�stand�up for�your�God�given�right

to�have�kick-ass�names for�all�your�favorite�teams,

and�fuck�anybody�whose�feelings get�hurt�along�the�way.

Oh,�is�that�what�time�it�is?

Oh,�you�think�I�don't�have feelings? You�think�my�feelings don't�get�hurt?

My�grandfather�has a�pacemaker,�right?

Every�time�I�watch �����the�lndiana�Pacers play�basketball,

it�makes�me�think�of�Papi.

And�his�irregular�heartbeat. And�it�fucks�me�up,�big�time.

You�see�me�complaining to�the�lndiana�Pacers or�anyone�in�the�NBA?

Mmm,�suck�it�up,�buttercup.

So? So�what?

So�join�us.

Tell�you�what. �I'll�fight�you�for�it. You�and�me.

Sorry,�what? What�I'm�saying�is,

I'll�fight�you.

And�if�you�win�I'll�come to�the�field�with�you.

But�if�you�lose, we're�not�asking�for anything�in�return.

Ah,�you�SJWs�are�a�lost�cause.

I'm�going�to�troll!

Letterkenny�Chiefs! Letterkenny�Chiefs!

We�can�do�this,�buddy.

We�can�establish�order, buddy. �I�know�we�can.

Of�course�you�can.

Ah.

Hockey,�eh?

Fastest�sport�on�Earth.

And�the�whitest�too,�arguably, so�bonus�points�there.

Okay,�the�Catholic�school�games are�on�the�other�rink.

Uh,�we�just,�uh, thought�you�strapping�alphas

might�want�to�know that�the�globalists

are�trying�to�turn�your small�town�into�a�hive

of�post-castrati�extremism.

What�the�fuck's�castrati?

Uh,�it's�a�pasta,�bro.

Uh,�it's�pronounced "pah-sta,"�bro. ��ls�it?

Today,�it's�the�Letterkenny ���Chiefs. Tomorrow,�it'll�be ���your�beloved�Shamrocks.

Well,�you�know,�the�Chiefs is�kinda�not�PC�though,�buddy.

We�try�to�keep�it,�like, kind�of�in�touch�there.

What�if�they�decide�to�get butt�hurt�over�the�Letterkenny Shamrocks�name�next

and�force�you�to�change�it

just�because�they�don't�know ��how�to�control�their... Their ���fragile�beta�male�emotions?

What�then,�huh?

You�don't�see�a�bunch of�lrish�people�protesting ���here,�do�you?

No,�you�don't.

They're�not, �"Argh, please�change�your�name!"

None�of�that's�happening. You�wanna�know�why?

Because�lrish�people�don't fucking�complain�about anything,�all�right?

Irish�people�know�how�to take�it�like�a�champ,�okay?

You�take�their�potatoes�away, they�don't�say�a�fucking�thing.

It's�pronounced "po-tah-to. " ������ls�it?

It's�called�"manning�up," ��gentlemen. You�might�want ��to�look�into�it.

What�do�you�think,�buddy?

I�think�this�guy's a�goof,�buddy.

Cool,�buddy. Yeah,�but...

On�that�note,�I'm�not�really a�fan�of�the�Shamrocks�name.

-Really? -Yeah.

Me�too,�buddy. �I�mean, if�we're�talking�about �some�kind�of�negative

stereotype�attached to�that�name,�you�know?

Right?�lt's�like, ��������just�because my�name�is�Reilly,

that�doesn't�necessarily�mean that�I'm�a�drunken�leprechaun.

Maybe�we�should�change the�name,�buddy.

What's�this�about�a�name�change?

If�anybody�should �������change�their�names, it�should�be�us.

What�the�hell's�a Shamrockette�anyway? A�leaf�with�tits?

Oh,�this�isn't�your matriarch,�is�it?

You�can't�just�add�"ette"�to ����the�end�of�the�men's�team and�expect�women�to�like�it.

We�should�change�our�names to�something�fierce�and�feminine and�powerful.

Like�the�Screaming�Banshees.

That's�good,�Mary-Anne. lmpressive�creativity.

Couple�of�hens�clucking�away.

Especially�for�a�girl�who had�to�start�kindergarten two�years�late

because�she�couldn't grasp�coloring.

I've�plenty�of�good�ideas, Betty-Anne.

Like�convincing�your�dad to�get�a�vasectomy

so�I�wouldn't�have�to�worry ���about�another�you�coming�into the�world�while�I�fucked�him.

We�were�just�starting to�get�them�under�control.

You're�screwing�it�up,�bro. You're�getting�them�all fired�up�again.

Bringing�family�into�it�now, Mary-Anne?�I�would�never stoop�so�low,

especially�with�the recent�passing�of�your�mother,

who�told�me�before�she�died that�my�dad�is�your�dad�too.

You're�fucking�up ��our�progress, man. Just�get�out�of�here.

It's�only�gonna�get�worse�too. Thanks�a�lot.

Ah,�these�Tumblrinas have�lost�the�plot�anyway.

Letterkenny�Chiefs! Letterkenny�Chiefs!

Where�the�fuck�is�everybody? This�is�supposed�to�be a�protest.

We�need�people�to�protest and�piss�off�and�agitate.

Ay,�ay,�ay. �Whose�idea�was�this stupid�name�change�anyway?

Ours.

S'up,�Nazis?

Nazi?�Hilarious.

Ain't�nothing�funny about�this,�honky.

No,�but�Nazi,�really?�Nazi?

Would�a�Nazi�ride a�Yamaha�scooter?

A�pansy�Nazi?�Sure.

Would�a�Nazi�have a�Jew�for�a�lawyer?

Could�you�refer�me,�asshole? 'Cause�I'm�gonna�need�one ����in�a�minute.

Would�a�Nazi�own�a�game-worn Tim�Duncan�jersey?

You�sniff�that�shit�before bed�at�night,�cupcake?

Would�a�Nazi's�favorite�snacks include�ramen,�pad�thai,�or�pho?

It's�pronounced�"pho-e," "Pho-e,"�dummy.

Oh.

All�right,�would�a�Nazi �����get�turned�on�by interracial�gang�bang�porn?

Who�fucking�doesn't?

All�right,�I�think�we�all need�to�chill�out�here.

We're�getting ahead�of�ourselves.

We�are�an�inclusive�movement.

I�think�you�should�join�us.

Is�that�what�we�should�do?

Yes.

Think�about�it,�Sacagawea.

We�share�a�lot. We�have�a�lot�in�common.

We�both�pride�ourselves on�traditional�values, traditional�morals.

We�share�a�very anti-immigration�stance.

You�know,�if�you�think�about�it, we�actually�share�a�lot of�common�ground.

Historically, �sharing�ground�hasn't been�your�strong�suit.

If�you�guys�are�here, �����then�who's�jerking�off in�your�mom's�basement?

Somewhere�there's�a ��men's�rights�meeting missing�their�door�greeters.

Yeah,�look. �I�get�it. You're�frustrated.

It�must�be�really�exhausting never�paying�taxes ����your�whole�lives.

All�right. Enough�chin-wagging.

Another�hen�cluck, cluck,�clucking�away.

Hey,�no�one�had�a�problem with�this. No�one�had�a�problem until�you's�came�to�town.

That's�it. �The�Hard�Right, coming�to�a�town�near�you.

Yeah,�we�didn't�come�here to�counter-protest.

Ain't�nothing�peaceful gonna�happen�today.

Hey,�we�don't practice�violence.

We�do. We�don't�practice�violence.

But�we�are�prepared�for�it.

All�right. �Let's�go�then. Let's�do�this.

You�and�what�army?

That�one.

Golden�pastures�from�here.

It's�all�I�see.

Nary�a�chem�trail�in�the�sky.

Possibility�of a�gentle�Nor'Wester.

Oh,�three�to�five�clicks by�the�look�of�her.

Well,�times�to�check�in on�the�Letterkenny�Banner.

What's�the�latest?

Was�that�your�tummy�grumbling or�was�that�you�proper?

That�was�my�tummy. Good�enough.

Well,�it�looks�like�they ���canceled�the�online�polls to�pick�the�new�team�name.

Oh,�is�that�what�they�did?

Yeah,�it�seems�like�the Muff�Riders�was runnings�away�with�it.

Foot�Fuckers�made more�sense�by�far. �I'm�disappointed.

What�are�they going�with�instead?

Rough�Riders. Of�course�they�are.

Playoffs�start�next�week.

Who�they�playing? Runforough�Rough�Riders.

That's�gonna�be a�really�good�game.

Must�be�hard�kicking the�ball�in�the�snow.

My�money's�on�the�Rough�Riders.

You're�crazy. �I�got�the Rough�Riders�by�a�mile.

Care�to�make�it�interesting?

I'll�put�ten�bucks on�the�Rough�Riders.

Make�it�twenty. I'll�take�that.

I'm�in�too.

See,�Wayne,�people�love to�cheer�for�a�rough�rider.

The�world's�going�to�hell in�a�hand�basket,�big�brother.

In�a�what,�Dary?

Brefekst�bakset. Attaboy.

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