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1
00:00:01,341 --> 00:00:03,472
[Toilet flushes]
2
00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:05,174
[Yawns]
3
00:00:05,242 --> 00:00:06,444
- [Kettle whistling]
- Good morning, mate.
4
00:00:06,515 --> 00:00:08,923
Don't get up. I can take care of meself.
5
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:10,427
[Groans]
6
00:00:10,492 --> 00:00:11,624
Good morning, Jack.
7
00:00:11,692 --> 00:00:13,890
- [Whistling stops]
- Did you sleep well?
8
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,497
Oh, no. Not really.
9
00:00:15,562 --> 00:00:18,466
I didn't get my head down
till, oh, it had to be 9:45.
10
00:00:18,537 --> 00:00:20,910
Steve, come on. Get up, son.
11
00:00:20,978 --> 00:00:23,211
Oh, Jim. You ought to go see your mother.
12
00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:24,381
[Groans]
13
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:25,754
Yeah, that's not a bad idea, Steve.
14
00:00:25,821 --> 00:00:27,891
Billy's kind of lonely in that hospital.
15
00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:28,860
Why don't you go visit him?
16
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,731
- Why don't you two go visit them?
- Yeah.
17
00:00:30,799 --> 00:00:32,839
Oh, Steve, don't be rude, huh?
18
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,744
- Jack's on vacation here.
- Jack: [Chuckles]
19
00:00:35,812 --> 00:00:38,313
I got to go and put me hand in the sand
20
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:39,651
at that Asian theater.
21
00:00:39,718 --> 00:00:42,360
Uh, it's, uh, cement. Chinese.
22
00:00:42,427 --> 00:00:44,229
I don't know about that.
You ever been there?
23
00:00:44,297 --> 00:00:45,430
I-I read a book once.
24
00:00:45,498 --> 00:00:46,565
Yeah, that'd be the only once, too.
25
00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:48,937
Jim: G'day, mum.
26
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,810
[Moaning]
27
00:00:50,877 --> 00:00:53,554
Oh, hey, Mrs. Jefferies. I'm sorry.
28
00:00:53,622 --> 00:00:54,991
I didn't realize Billy was sleeping.
29
00:00:55,059 --> 00:00:56,459
I'll just go down to the
cafeteria and come back later.
30
00:00:56,527 --> 00:00:58,062
No. I'm awake.
31
00:00:58,130 --> 00:01:01,636
I'm surprised you can be
bothered to come and visit me.
32
00:01:01,704 --> 00:01:02,736
- [Moans]
- It's no problem, mum.
33
00:01:02,804 --> 00:01:04,437
Hold on.
34
00:01:04,505 --> 00:01:06,642
[Panting]
35
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:11,518
I need some privacy to
talk with my son alone.
36
00:01:13,488 --> 00:01:16,561
You got to get me out of
here. She's driving me crazy.
37
00:01:16,629 --> 00:01:17,897
Oh, you need to be in here.
38
00:01:17,965 --> 00:01:19,564
You have water on your lungs.
39
00:01:19,631 --> 00:01:20,931
- Hey, Steve.
- What?
40
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,698
I moved my fingers today.
41
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:24,232
Cool. Let me see.
42
00:01:26,205 --> 00:01:27,672
[Laughing] Holy shit.
43
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:28,705
I know, dude.
44
00:01:28,773 --> 00:01:30,307
Billy looks bad.
45
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:31,944
I hope he's gonna be all right.
46
00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:33,714
Oh, don't worry about Billy.
47
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,416
He's going to be fine.
48
00:01:36,484 --> 00:01:40,222
The doctors... They can't
figure out what's wrong with me.
49
00:01:40,289 --> 00:01:42,393
Oh, if I'm not dead in three days,
50
00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:44,994
it'll be soon after that.
51
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,629
Mum, you're not dying.
52
00:01:46,696 --> 00:01:48,966
Who are you to say I'm not dying?
53
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:50,502
You're not a doctor.
54
00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:52,571
Yeah, but a doctor outside
just told me you're not dying.
55
00:01:52,639 --> 00:01:55,008
You got a blood clot in
your leg. You got diabetes,
56
00:01:55,075 --> 00:01:56,577
so it's taking a little longer to heal up.
57
00:01:56,645 --> 00:01:57,913
You're gonna be in here
for a week or something.
58
00:01:57,981 --> 00:01:59,849
You've gained weight.
59
00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:01,685
I haven't, actually. I've lost weight.
60
00:02:01,752 --> 00:02:03,354
You've got to try and control your weight.
61
00:02:03,421 --> 00:02:05,025
Really? You're telling
me to control my weight?
62
00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:08,895
I was never as big as you when I was 36.
63
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,797
So... you were! You say this, but you were.
64
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:13,232
We have pho... I can get a photo right now.
65
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,435
- Oh!
- You were always big.
66
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:16,903
I-I don't know why you say these things.
67
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:21,779
Look, James.
68
00:02:21,847 --> 00:02:24,015
When you get to the end of your life,
69
00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:27,385
you take stock of
everything that's happened.
70
00:02:27,453 --> 00:02:29,489
I tried to raise you and your brothers
71
00:02:29,557 --> 00:02:30,625
as best as I could.
72
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,697
But in many ways,
73
00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:35,901
you're still a huge disappointment to me.
74
00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:37,871
- [Laughing] God.
- This woman is a nightmare.
75
00:02:37,939 --> 00:02:41,645
- She's out of her mind.
- [Chuckles]
76
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:45,450
- Have you got the number here at the hospital?
- Yes.
77
00:02:45,517 --> 00:02:49,687
It's just another place
for you to never call me at.
78
00:02:49,755 --> 00:02:50,923
Come on, mum. I call you all the time.
79
00:02:50,990 --> 00:02:54,193
Oh, to complain about
your terrible childhood.
80
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,861
It was terrible, mum.
81
00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:57,731
- You used to call me "Fuckface".
- [Intercom dings]
82
00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:00,568
Well, only because you
called me that first.
83
00:03:00,635 --> 00:03:03,104
I was 5. I was 5. You were the adult.
84
00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:06,109
- Anne: Oh, grow up!
- Should I? - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
85
00:03:06,177 --> 00:03:08,611
- Jim: You should have been the responsible
one! - Nurse! My brother's not breathing!
86
00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:11,214
Get out of the way. Out of the way.
87
00:03:11,282 --> 00:03:12,916
Are you...
88
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,151
What's wrong with Billy?
89
00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,684
Nothing... I just hit the call button
90
00:03:15,752 --> 00:03:17,454
'cause you looked like you needed help.
91
00:03:17,521 --> 00:03:18,690
- You okay? You sure? You sure?
- Mm-hmm.
92
00:03:18,757 --> 00:03:19,825
Thanks.
93
00:03:19,892 --> 00:03:21,059
- No problem, fuckface.
- [Intercom dings]
94
00:03:21,127 --> 00:03:22,428
Okay, let's go.
95
00:03:24,602 --> 00:03:28,302
Oh, stop seeking attention.
96
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:29,635
Mike.
97
00:03:29,703 --> 00:03:30,935
- Mike.
- Hey! Jimmy J.!
98
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,072
Hey, how's it going?
99
00:03:33,139 --> 00:03:34,906
Hey, I had no idea you
were coming in today.
100
00:03:34,974 --> 00:03:36,774
Well, I've been calling you
for, like, the last three days.
101
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,277
Uh-huh. You have? You have?
102
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:40,748
- I told him you've been in meetings.
- Right.
103
00:03:40,816 --> 00:03:41,883
Yeah, she's done nothing wrong.
104
00:03:41,951 --> 00:03:42,650
She's very good, this one. Keep her.
105
00:03:42,718 --> 00:03:44,017
Well, listen.
106
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:45,351
I always have time for
my number-one comedian.
107
00:03:45,418 --> 00:03:47,186
Top three, for sure. Come on up.
108
00:03:47,253 --> 00:03:49,121
Hey, I'm Steve.
109
00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:50,556
How can I help?
110
00:03:50,624 --> 00:03:52,391
Work, Mike. I need work, okay?
111
00:03:52,459 --> 00:03:55,259
And I need to get out of town this weekend.
112
00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:56,629
Who... Who's this guy?
113
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,198
I'm Steve.
114
00:03:58,266 --> 00:04:00,534
You're not gonna pitch a-a TV
show with this guy, are you?
115
00:04:00,603 --> 00:04:02,172
[Laughing] No.
116
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,709
You said you loved that idea
117
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,378
about "Planes, trains &
automobiles" as a TV show.
118
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,646
Dude, it's not a great idea. What happens?
119
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,314
They never get to their destination?
120
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,415
No, it's different destination every week.
121
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,753
Look, I-I just need a gig right now.
122
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,422
No, I've been... I've been
trying to get you parts forever.
123
00:04:14,489 --> 00:04:15,457
The movie people... They don't want you
124
00:04:15,525 --> 00:04:16,858
ever since you raped that girl.
125
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,859
Ever since I made the
joke. I made a joke, Mike.
126
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:19,959
Whatever. Your name's associated with rape.
127
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,294
I'm... I'm associated with ra...
128
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,861
So when you think of Jim
Jefferies, you think of rape?
129
00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:27,063
- Mm-hmm. - Seems unfair
since I've never raped.
130
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:29,801
Well... You say "Tom-ah-to,"
I say "To-may-to." You know.
131
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:32,235
You know, what's weird is that saying
132
00:04:32,303 --> 00:04:34,337
literally applies when I'm talking to you.
133
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,140
- [Both laugh]
- It does.
134
00:04:36,207 --> 00:04:37,508
- "Tom-ah-to."
- "Tom-ah-to."
135
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:39,274
[Both laugh]
136
00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:40,206
[Sighs]
137
00:04:40,274 --> 00:04:42,272
Good meeting, Jim, Sean.
138
00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:42,872
Steve.
139
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,308
Mike, Mike.
140
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,345
I don't need a movie.
I don't need a TV show.
141
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,514
All I need from you right now
142
00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:50,979
is a gig out of L.A. this weekend.
143
00:04:51,047 --> 00:04:53,413
Okay, Jim, but I don't know what I can do
144
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,746
on such short notice.
145
00:04:54,814 --> 00:04:56,580
Why are you bothering me?!
I'm in with Jim Jefferies.
146
00:04:56,648 --> 00:04:57,481
Sorry, sir.
147
00:04:57,549 --> 00:05:00,651
I just wanted to remind
you that Bob Saget called.
148
00:05:00,719 --> 00:05:01,586
Oh, great. Put him through.
149
00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,222
No, no. Sorry, sir.
150
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:09,058
Remember? He's not available
to do that gig this weekend.
151
00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:10,662
You just saved your ass, Marie.
152
00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:11,763
Thanks.
153
00:05:11,831 --> 00:05:14,230
I think I have something for you.
154
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:17,032
Great gig Mike got you.
155
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,972
Jim: I got to get a new agent.
156
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,540
Aah!
157
00:05:24,526 --> 00:05:26,027
Jim: Aah!
158
00:05:26,094 --> 00:05:27,828
I hate agents!
159
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,262
W-why?
160
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:32,268
Well, they hardly work,
they take all your money.
161
00:05:32,335 --> 00:05:35,340
Wow. I didn't know you
hated Asians so much.
162
00:05:35,408 --> 00:05:37,674
Why would I... Who said asians?
163
00:05:37,742 --> 00:05:40,679
Put this on. Are you Jim Jefferies?
164
00:05:40,747 --> 00:05:42,947
What other white prick you looking for
165
00:05:43,015 --> 00:05:44,882
in the desert in this exact location?
166
00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,252
Sir, I just need confirmation.
167
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,687
Yeah. Jim Jefferies.
168
00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:48,688
Right this way, Mr. Jefferies.
169
00:05:48,756 --> 00:05:52,528
Hi! I'm Steve Nugent.
170
00:05:52,596 --> 00:05:54,566
Hi!
171
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:56,803
Hey!
172
00:05:56,871 --> 00:06:00,439
Why are you wearing camouflage
and I'm wearing blue?
173
00:06:00,506 --> 00:06:02,910
So that the enemy knows you're a civilian.
174
00:06:02,978 --> 00:06:04,748
Does the enemy give a shit?
175
00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:07,250
Jack: Hey, look at that.
176
00:06:07,318 --> 00:06:09,720
Boy, that Clark gable
had small feet, didn't he?
177
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:11,255
[Both chuckle]
178
00:06:11,323 --> 00:06:14,925
Y-you know what they say
about guys with small feet.
179
00:06:14,992 --> 00:06:16,760
No.
180
00:06:16,828 --> 00:06:18,262
Hey, would you guys be interested
181
00:06:18,329 --> 00:06:19,329
in doing a tour of Hollywood?
182
00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:20,729
[Chuckles] What's that?
183
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,863
Drive around, check out
all the celebrities' houses.
184
00:06:21,931 --> 00:06:24,367
Like an architectural tour?
185
00:06:24,435 --> 00:06:25,602
Sure.
186
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,405
I'm so sorry to be a burden to anyone.
187
00:06:28,473 --> 00:06:29,806
Okay. Okay.
188
00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:31,991
Your American hospitals are very good.
189
00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:38,716
Well, she's a bitch.
190
00:06:38,784 --> 00:06:39,951
Hello!
191
00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:41,019
Mom!
192
00:06:41,087 --> 00:06:42,287
Hi, honey.
193
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:43,955
Look, I brought you your favorite bear
194
00:06:44,023 --> 00:06:45,322
to keep you company.
195
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,422
[Chuckles] That's so great.
196
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,723
- Thank you.
- Sure.
197
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:50,726
I really appreciate you, mom. I really do.
198
00:06:50,794 --> 00:06:51,961
I love you.
199
00:06:52,029 --> 00:06:55,364
Oh, well, I love you, too. [Chuckles]
200
00:06:55,432 --> 00:06:56,498
Mwah!
201
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:57,899
Oh, and Anne, I am so sorry
202
00:06:57,967 --> 00:07:02,067
that your holiday has gotten
off to such a bad start.
203
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:04,004
All right, coming up here on your right
204
00:07:04,072 --> 00:07:05,775
is the world-famous viper room.
205
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,343
Now, you all know the viper room
206
00:07:07,411 --> 00:07:10,179
because that's where, in 1993,
River Phoenix died on Halloween.
207
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:11,547
Who?
208
00:07:11,614 --> 00:07:12,848
Uh, River Phoenix.
209
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:15,147
Don't know him.
210
00:07:15,215 --> 00:07:16,348
Well, um, I brought some chocolates
211
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:19,220
for you and Billy, so you can share them.
212
00:07:19,288 --> 00:07:20,921
No. She can't have that. She has diabetes.
213
00:07:20,989 --> 00:07:22,322
No, no, no.
214
00:07:22,389 --> 00:07:24,223
The doctor said I should
have chocolate every day
215
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,859
so that my blood sugar doesn't sink so low
216
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:28,695
that I slip into a coma.
217
00:07:28,762 --> 00:07:34,232
Okay. Well, here you go. Enjoy.
218
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,902
So, your brother hasn't
been by to visit yet?
219
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:39,669
No. He went with Jim to Afghanistan.
220
00:07:39,736 --> 00:07:41,104
What?
221
00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:42,607
Anne: I know.
222
00:07:42,674 --> 00:07:45,644
I'm here dying in hospital,
and who's off on holiday?
223
00:07:50,881 --> 00:07:52,815
[Retching]
224
00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:56,049
[Laughter]
225
00:07:56,117 --> 00:07:58,684
Now your vest looks more camouflaged, sir.
226
00:07:58,752 --> 00:08:00,253
[Laughter]
227
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,957
We're going down!
228
00:08:04,024 --> 00:08:05,790
We're going down! Oh, God!
229
00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,924
Aah! Aah!
230
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:11,627
[Laughter]
231
00:08:11,695 --> 00:08:13,997
Calm down. That's supposed to happen.
232
00:08:14,064 --> 00:08:16,067
We shoot out the flares
when we cross the border
233
00:08:16,136 --> 00:08:19,138
in case there's heat-seeking missiles.
234
00:08:19,205 --> 00:08:20,239
Gonna be all right.
235
00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:21,874
[Laughter]
236
00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:22,984
Lopez: Oh, God.
237
00:08:25,278 --> 00:08:27,079
[Yelling]
238
00:08:27,146 --> 00:08:29,950
- We're being fired on!
- [Laughter]
239
00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,486
Why are you laughing?
240
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,621
Please, calm down, sir. Calm down.
241
00:08:33,689 --> 00:08:35,856
We're in a military helicopter
with a bulletproof bottom.
242
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:38,257
That man has a handgun.
243
00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:40,759
We're so high up, the
bullets can't even reach us.
244
00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,487
They just go up and drift back down.
245
00:08:44,202 --> 00:08:46,603
Hey! I bet our bullets could reach him.
246
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:49,505
Um... Yeah. They can.
247
00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:51,140
- [Gunfire]
- Whoo-hoo!
248
00:08:51,207 --> 00:08:52,574
[Laughter]
249
00:08:52,642 --> 00:08:54,009
Yeah! Run, bitch, run! I was just saying...
250
00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:57,347
- [Laughs]
- Holy shit.
251
00:08:57,415 --> 00:08:59,583
- [Gunfire]
- Get some! Get some, bitch!
252
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:02,161
On behalf of the U.S.
military, I'd like to thank you
253
00:09:02,229 --> 00:09:04,196
for coming out here and
entertaining our troops.
254
00:09:04,262 --> 00:09:06,162
Well, it's my pleasure.
I'm happy to be here.
255
00:09:06,231 --> 00:09:09,236
[Sighs] It's very upsetting
that Mr. Saget couldn't be here.
256
00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:10,572
But we've heard good things about you.
257
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,744
Now, there are a few
rules here on this base
258
00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:15,645
which you must obey at all times.
259
00:09:15,713 --> 00:09:17,013
Rule number one...
260
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,349
Always be mindful of your surroundings.
261
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:21,219
Take note of everything you see.
262
00:09:21,287 --> 00:09:22,554
Listen to everything anyone asks you to do.
263
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:25,291
Rule number two...
Always, and I mean always,
264
00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:28,160
keep your helmet and
your vest either six feet
265
00:09:28,227 --> 00:09:29,261
or six seconds away from you.
266
00:09:29,329 --> 00:09:31,932
You must be prepared to put them on
267
00:09:31,999 --> 00:09:33,501
at any given time on short notice.
268
00:09:33,569 --> 00:09:36,334
Rule number three... This is a dry base.
269
00:09:36,402 --> 00:09:37,768
There's no drinking of alcohol
270
00:09:37,836 --> 00:09:41,172
or any illicit substances at any time.
271
00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:44,944
Rule number four... Enjoy yourself.
272
00:09:45,012 --> 00:09:48,544
Lopez will have eyes on you. That's all.
273
00:09:48,612 --> 00:09:50,845
Seriously? No booze?
274
00:09:57,155 --> 00:09:59,058
So, you do a lot of these?
275
00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:02,462
No. No, no, my parents are
in town, so I had to get away.
276
00:10:02,529 --> 00:10:03,628
[Chuckles]
277
00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:05,208
Yeah, that's why I joined the army.
278
00:10:05,253 --> 00:10:08,233
- No shit?
- Yeah.
279
00:10:08,301 --> 00:10:09,470
But you know, I really miss them now.
280
00:10:09,537 --> 00:10:11,006
[Chuckles] Why?
281
00:10:11,073 --> 00:10:11,907
[Both laugh]
282
00:10:11,975 --> 00:10:14,708
I appreciate them a lot
more since I've been here.
283
00:10:16,479 --> 00:10:19,616
I think it would take a
holocaust for me to miss me mum.
284
00:10:19,684 --> 00:10:20,418
[Chuckles]
285
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,853
Guide: All right.
286
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,690
So, this is Marina Westside Hospital,
287
00:10:23,758 --> 00:10:25,724
one of the most famous
hospitals in the world.
288
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,426
This is where Frank Sinatra
died of a heart attack.
289
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:30,463
Jessica Simpson gave
birth to her baby here.
290
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,999
And Patrick Swayze died
here of pancreatic cancer.
291
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,234
Never heard of 'em.
292
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,969
We got a lot of family in there now.
293
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,170
Maybe we should go in and see them.
294
00:10:41,837 --> 00:10:43,373
Woman: Here. Here, here, here.
295
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,708
I have movie for you.
296
00:10:44,776 --> 00:10:47,811
"Tank Dad 3," "Red Moon Over Odessa."
297
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:49,346
[Laughs] Even in Afghanistan... see?
298
00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:50,514
You shouldn't have tried to rape that girl.
299
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:52,916
- You raped a girl?
- I didn't rape any...
300
00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:54,552
You rape... Well, was she insolent?
301
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:57,723
- No, she...
- Steve: Wait. You didn't p... Uh.
302
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,524
You took him to a water park?!
303
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:00,958
Yeah.
304
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:02,994
Well, Jim really...
305
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,363
Look, mom. I begged to do it.
306
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,097
You know, I was just
trying to have some fun.
307
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,399
I know, sweetheart.
308
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,400
You and that Jim are gonna kill Billy
309
00:11:10,468 --> 00:11:11,768
with all this living stuff
that you want him to do.
310
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:14,369
Do you know where those
two idiots are right now?
311
00:11:14,414 --> 00:11:15,370
In Afghanistan!
312
00:11:15,438 --> 00:11:16,438
[Sighs]
313
00:11:16,505 --> 00:11:17,272
Steve:
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
314
00:11:17,339 --> 00:11:19,340
Yeah! Yeah!
315
00:11:19,408 --> 00:11:22,678
[Both laughing]
316
00:11:22,746 --> 00:11:24,414
Whoa!
317
00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,585
[Laughs]
318
00:11:29,653 --> 00:11:32,820
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- [Indistinct shouting]
319
00:11:35,456 --> 00:11:37,424
Fire in the hole!
320
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:40,664
[Laughs] Yeah!
321
00:11:40,732 --> 00:11:42,868
Suck it! No! Hanging!
322
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,003
Whoo!
323
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,469
Get it, Jim! Get it!
324
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:47,739
[Laughing] Uh...
325
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:53,746
Yeah!
326
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,580
Yeah!
327
00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:58,852
[Laughs]
328
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,155
Whoo!
329
00:12:00,223 --> 00:12:01,658
Did you see that shit?!
330
00:12:01,726 --> 00:12:04,725
Oh! Look at that! I tore it to shit, man!
331
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:05,493
I know!
332
00:12:05,561 --> 00:12:07,895
Where's the tank?
333
00:12:08,932 --> 00:12:09,967
Well, thanks, man.
334
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:12,434
This is just what I needed...
335
00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:15,137
Getting away from the family, you know?
336
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:16,972
God, I haven't felt
this good in a long time.
337
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,108
- You know why you feel good, right?
- No.
338
00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:20,977
You haven't had a drink for three days.
339
00:12:21,045 --> 00:12:22,279
Maybe this is what I needed.
340
00:12:22,346 --> 00:12:24,348
- Maybe I should join the army.
- Really?
341
00:12:24,415 --> 00:12:26,449
People always talk about
post-traumatic stress disorder,
342
00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:28,251
but soldiers only get
that when they come back.
343
00:12:28,319 --> 00:12:29,285
It's "post."
344
00:12:29,353 --> 00:12:30,852
You know, I go back there,
345
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,352
I start dealing with Billy
and my parents and Georgia
346
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,686
and Emily and all that.
347
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,487
That is current-traumatic stress disorder.
348
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:38,723
I don't know how you do it.
349
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,058
[Sighs]
350
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,627
My mother's only been
over for a couple of days,
351
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,731
and I had to skip town.
352
00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:46,031
She's a piece of work, huh?
353
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,834
I've been telling you this for years.
354
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,372
[Sighs]
355
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:54,942
I can't get far enough away.
356
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:59,015
Well, it's just you and me now, Billy.
357
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,683
No one looks to be visiting us today.
358
00:13:02,851 --> 00:13:06,489
I think Jim would be happy if I would die.
359
00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:08,889
I'd be happy.
360
00:13:08,957 --> 00:13:10,557
I'm sorry, Billy.
361
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,593
I can't talk anymore.
362
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,731
I need to have a nap.
363
00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:16,534
She'd be happy if I died out here,
364
00:13:16,602 --> 00:13:20,202
give her something to be a martyr about.
365
00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:21,569
[Moaning]
366
00:13:21,637 --> 00:13:23,071
[Chuckles]
367
00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:28,047
[As Anne] Oh, a parent should
never outlive their child.
368
00:13:28,115 --> 00:13:30,546
[Both laugh]
369
00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:35,174
Reveille, reveille! Drop your
cocks and grab your socks.
370
00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:37,243
We got a big day ahead of us.
371
00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:39,246
I'll see you at the
mess hall in 30 minutes.
372
00:13:39,314 --> 00:13:40,414
- Bloody hell.
- Yes, sir.
373
00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:44,086
Are you coming?
374
00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:45,888
All right. Let's do it.
375
00:13:56,404 --> 00:13:59,139
We're now flying off... Jim, would
you mind putting your helmet on?
376
00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:01,108
We're now flying off for camp bastion.
377
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,911
This journey will take
approximately three hours.
378
00:14:03,979 --> 00:14:06,648
We do have ear plugs if you need them.
379
00:14:06,716 --> 00:14:08,918
Enjoy your flight.
380
00:14:12,522 --> 00:14:14,856
[Chuckles]
381
00:14:14,924 --> 00:14:17,122
It's kind of weird. I'm not afraid here.
382
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,491
- You're not?
- No.
383
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,294
Hey, you guys said you're from California?
384
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:22,463
Sorry?
385
00:14:22,531 --> 00:14:23,799
You guys said you're from California?
386
00:14:23,867 --> 00:14:25,264
Yeah, Venice.
387
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,565
Great. I grew up on 6th and Broadway.
388
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,068
Hey! That's wild. That's
right around the corner.
389
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,103
Jim: We're right there.
390
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,138
Could you guys do me a huge favor?
391
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,507
Yeah, sure. Anything.
392
00:14:34,575 --> 00:14:37,011
Well, I'm headed up to
Helmand province after this
393
00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:38,082
with the special-op guys.
394
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:40,618
It's pretty heavy up there,
395
00:14:40,686 --> 00:14:43,323
and... Well, I got a bad feeling.
396
00:14:43,391 --> 00:14:46,460
So, would you mind
taking this to my mother?
397
00:14:46,528 --> 00:14:48,861
Why don't you just mail it?
398
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,693
I just want to make sure she got it.
399
00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:56,063
Yeah, sure, but I think
things are gonna be okay.
400
00:14:58,701 --> 00:15:01,735
I'm feeling better. I
think I'm ready to go home.
401
00:15:01,802 --> 00:15:03,671
Oh. Well, the doctor said
in a couple of days or so.
402
00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:06,173
[Groans] A couple of days?!
403
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:09,009
Yes, he said you are heading
in the right direction,
404
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,476
but just be patient.
405
00:15:10,544 --> 00:15:14,411
And Anne, the doctor said
it's all right for you to go.
406
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:17,711
[Chuckles] What? That
quack? No, he doesn't know.
407
00:15:17,779 --> 00:15:19,979
I tried to tell him about
all of my other ailments,
408
00:15:20,047 --> 00:15:21,213
but, oh, no, he wouldn't listen.
409
00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:23,716
Well, how nice, though?
You'll get to see Jim.
410
00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:28,689
Oh, so he's called you, has
he? Didn't bother to call me.
411
00:15:28,757 --> 00:15:32,492
Anne, aren't you glad that
you're gonna see your son?
412
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,893
I guess.
413
00:15:33,961 --> 00:15:37,164
He'll probably run the other
way when he sees me again.
414
00:15:37,231 --> 00:15:40,533
You know, you are very lucky to have Billy.
415
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,003
I know he can't move,
416
00:15:43,071 --> 00:15:45,707
but at least you know
where he is at all times.
417
00:15:45,774 --> 00:15:48,010
I'm sorry, lucky?
418
00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:49,078
Lucky?!
419
00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:49,946
I'm not invisible
420
00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:51,814
Why you can't see
421
00:15:51,882 --> 00:15:56,783
That I'm not gonna give up and run?
422
00:15:56,851 --> 00:15:59,854
Seems to me being a
soldier's a pretty sweet job.
423
00:15:59,922 --> 00:16:02,325
I mean, what, you work for a couple years,
424
00:16:02,392 --> 00:16:03,492
you go straight into your pension.
425
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,659
Not many of you guys see combat, right?
426
00:16:05,727 --> 00:16:11,133
So, by comparison, it's
actually a pretty safe job.
427
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,400
Compared to what?
428
00:16:12,468 --> 00:16:14,637
Well, like ice-road trucker or...
429
00:16:14,704 --> 00:16:17,175
crab fisherman.
430
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,611
Yeah, I guess.
431
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,615
[Gunshots, clanging]
432
00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:25,885
I'm running out of time
433
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:28,319
And I'm slipping through the cracks
434
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:31,925
And if I looked you
in the eyes, you won
435
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:35,097
'Cause I'm blinded by the sun
436
00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:41,975
I'm blinded by...
437
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,809
God damn, mate. We're not
all in the bloody army.
438
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:44,944
Get the hell out!
439
00:16:45,012 --> 00:16:46,848
- Come on! Go!
- [Gunfire, explosions]
440
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,748
Get out! Get out! Move, move, move, move!
441
00:16:48,816 --> 00:16:50,282
Get the hell out!
442
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,753
[Indistinct shouting]
443
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,955
Get the hell out of the bird!
444
00:16:55,023 --> 00:16:56,189
Leave the bag!
445
00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:57,858
You think this is lucky?!
446
00:16:57,926 --> 00:16:59,394
You know what, Anne?
447
00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:00,863
Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on Jim.
448
00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,632
What?
449
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:03,967
Excuse me?
450
00:17:04,034 --> 00:17:05,503
Yeah, you can't keep
putting your children down.
451
00:17:05,571 --> 00:17:07,005
Who are you?
452
00:17:07,072 --> 00:17:09,272
These boys... I don't agree
with everything that they do,
453
00:17:09,339 --> 00:17:10,506
but they are good boys.
454
00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:13,209
And Jim is very good to Billy.
455
00:17:13,277 --> 00:17:16,614
You're defending him?!
456
00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:20,115
He abandoned me! He is terrible to me!
457
00:17:20,183 --> 00:17:22,786
I had Jim in high school,
and he really cares about you,
458
00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:25,626
but you just can't see it.
459
00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:28,563
- [Explosions, gunfire]
- God! Oh, my God!
460
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:32,505
Jim, Jim! Jim, Jim!
Leave it! Leave the bag!
461
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:33,874
Get over here!
462
00:17:36,642 --> 00:17:38,109
- Aah! Oh, my God!
- Aah!
463
00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:41,346
Oh, God, help me! I don't
want to be in the army anymore!
464
00:17:41,414 --> 00:17:43,046
No shit!
465
00:17:46,118 --> 00:17:48,019
- Who are you calling?
- Calling my mum.
466
00:17:48,087 --> 00:17:49,288
Out of all the people in the world...
467
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:52,058
- Do you believe his thoughts?
- Unbelievable!
468
00:17:52,892 --> 00:17:55,458
- [Cellphone rings]
- Oh!
469
00:17:55,526 --> 00:17:57,227
- [Gunfire, explosions]
- Hello?
470
00:17:57,295 --> 00:17:59,799
Hey, mum! Hey, it's Jim!
471
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,968
Oh, hello.
472
00:18:02,036 --> 00:18:03,125
I got something I want to tell you.
473
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,936
What?
474
00:18:05,004 --> 00:18:06,135
That you've poisoned everyone against me?
475
00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:08,136
Well, I've already figured that out.
476
00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:10,405
Please, listen to me!
477
00:18:10,472 --> 00:18:11,940
Oh! Stop yelling at me!
478
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,811
I can hardly hear you with
all that banging noise.
479
00:18:15,879 --> 00:18:17,146
Let me see that.
480
00:18:17,213 --> 00:18:19,514
Hello? What's going on?
481
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:21,614
Mom! Mom! Mom! I'm sorry!
482
00:18:21,682 --> 00:18:22,916
I'm sorry for all the times I let you down!
483
00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:26,387
What is going on, and
what is all that noise?
484
00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:27,521
We're being bombed on!
485
00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:29,090
- Oh, shit.
- [Gasps]
486
00:18:29,158 --> 00:18:31,427
That is terrible.
487
00:18:31,495 --> 00:18:35,427
Oh, no parent should outlive their child.
488
00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:39,730
Mum, look, I just got to tell you...
489
00:18:39,798 --> 00:18:42,099
I know you were hard on me as a kid.
490
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,633
I know you were hard on
me, but I deserved it.
491
00:18:43,701 --> 00:18:45,402
You had to do all the parenting.
492
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:46,969
I know that dad did
nothing but sit on the roof
493
00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:48,972
- and I was a little fuckface.
- [Explosion]
494
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:53,511
And I know you did your best, but... Mum...
495
00:18:53,579 --> 00:18:54,445
[Explosion]
496
00:18:54,513 --> 00:18:56,047
I want you to know...
497
00:18:56,114 --> 00:18:58,986
- [Gunfire stops]
- All clear.
498
00:18:59,053 --> 00:19:01,788
Okay. We're clear to
get back in the chopper.
499
00:19:01,856 --> 00:19:02,856
Man: Move out!
500
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,791
I, uh...
501
00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:07,962
I want you to know that, uh...
502
00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:13,104
We're back on Tuesday, so... You know,
503
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:15,707
we can hang out... hang out then.
504
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:18,644
[Sighs]
505
00:19:18,712 --> 00:19:19,879
Oh, God.
506
00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:23,117
See? They really are good boys.
507
00:19:23,185 --> 00:19:25,520
I know that.
508
00:19:25,588 --> 00:19:28,023
- Did you enjoy that?
- No.
509
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:30,526
You know, sometimes you
don't appreciate a situation
510
00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:31,860
till you live through it.
511
00:19:31,928 --> 00:19:34,327
Steve: Hey, I got... I
got a pricker in my hand.
512
00:19:34,395 --> 00:19:37,132
[Butch Walker's "I've Been
Waiting for This" plays]
513
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:37,866
- [Gunfire]
- [Grunts]
514
00:19:42,003 --> 00:19:47,473
Hey, guys. Welcome
back. So, how was Africa?
515
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:50,575
- Fine.
- Hey, good to see you out of hospital bed.
516
00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:52,051
Hey, can you turn this off?
517
00:19:52,076 --> 00:19:54,410
We've had enough gunfire
to last us a lifetime.
518
00:19:55,549 --> 00:19:57,017
Holy shit.
519
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,449
You're playing video games.
520
00:19:59,517 --> 00:20:00,783
Like a machine.
521
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:01,867
[Chuckles] Yeah.
522
00:20:01,884 --> 00:20:04,854
[Laughing] Holy shit!
523
00:20:04,922 --> 00:20:06,287
[Gunfire]
524
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:07,788
Can't this just wait?
525
00:20:07,855 --> 00:20:10,123
No. We promised. Let's get rid of this.
526
00:20:10,191 --> 00:20:11,626
[Knock on door]
527
00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:13,529
Mrs. Lopez?
528
00:20:13,597 --> 00:20:15,229
- Hi, my name's Jim. This is Steve.
- Hi.
529
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,099
We were in Afghanistan with
your son, Lieutenant Lopez,
530
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,167
and he wanted us to give you this.
531
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:22,934
Oh, my God.
532
00:20:23,002 --> 00:20:27,307
Is... I-I-Is
he okay?
533
00:20:29,443 --> 00:20:30,676
Oh! Yes. He's okay.
534
00:20:30,744 --> 00:20:32,176
He gave this to us
yesterday to give to you.
535
00:20:32,243 --> 00:20:34,111
- He's fine.
- Yeah, he's good.
536
00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:35,613
[Laughs]
537
00:20:35,681 --> 00:20:38,681
You're a good man. Thank you so much.
538
00:20:38,749 --> 00:20:41,750
Would you like to come in?
539
00:20:41,818 --> 00:20:43,986
No, we can't. We have
to go see our own mums.
540
00:20:44,053 --> 00:20:46,589
Aww, you're good boys.
541
00:20:46,656 --> 00:20:48,192
Good night, ma'am.
542
00:20:48,259 --> 00:20:51,128
And I live while I cry
543
00:20:51,196 --> 00:20:53,430
I've been waiting for this, oh
544
00:20:56,860 --> 00:21:04,360
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
545
00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:08,960
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38630
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