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1
00:00:03,565 --> 00:00:05,005
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that the banner
2
00:00:05,035 --> 00:00:06,435
Mom put up for me when I came home?
3
00:00:06,453 --> 00:00:07,736
Yes, it is.
4
00:00:07,771 --> 00:00:09,204
Can you see where we changed it?
5
00:00:09,239 --> 00:00:11,707
No.
6
00:00:11,742 --> 00:00:13,742
It's a marvel of engineering.
7
00:00:13,777 --> 00:00:15,827
God bless America.
8
00:00:15,879 --> 00:00:19,414
So, did the Academy hassle you
for taking a couple days off?
9
00:00:19,449 --> 00:00:21,917
No. I told my C.O. that
Mom was having another kid,
10
00:00:21,952 --> 00:00:25,587
so if anyone asks, Jen is
a newborn, and Dad is Asian.
11
00:00:26,807 --> 00:00:28,790
I can't believe Dad agreed
12
00:00:28,809 --> 00:00:31,009
to let a foreign exchange
student live here.
13
00:00:31,061 --> 00:00:32,511
He hates guests.
14
00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:34,096
No, he doesn't. He loves them.
15
00:00:34,131 --> 00:00:36,297
Every time I talk about
eventually moving out,
16
00:00:36,316 --> 00:00:40,018
he always says he's "counting the days."
17
00:00:40,070 --> 00:00:41,570
All right, let's go.
18
00:00:41,605 --> 00:00:43,638
I just got a text from
your mom. She's on her way.
19
00:00:43,657 --> 00:00:46,074
Not real good with the
emojis, unless she's actually
20
00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:50,746
bringing a unicorn, an
eggplant and three little turds.
21
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:53,365
Hey, are you gonna be able to
get through the next six months
22
00:00:53,417 --> 00:00:55,033
with a stranger living in this house?
23
00:00:55,085 --> 00:00:58,787
Yeah, it's like a horror
movie... It Came from Abroad.
24
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:00,255
Relax. I'm gonna be fine.
25
00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:01,923
Those two girls'll be
talking to each other.
26
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:03,925
That means I don't have to
talk to either one of them.
27
00:01:03,961 --> 00:01:06,878
No, I-I think you two
are gonna get super close,
28
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:08,964
and you're gonna be
heartbroken when she's gone.
29
00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:10,932
Just like me, right, Mr. B?
30
00:01:10,968 --> 00:01:14,136
Yeah. Counting the days, Kyle.
31
00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:17,722
- Oh. Hey, babe.
- Guess who I have with me?
32
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:20,892
- Hey. Hi.
- I hope it's Jen. We made a sign.
33
00:01:20,944 --> 00:01:22,677
Hello, everyone.
34
00:01:22,696 --> 00:01:24,563
- Hi, Jen. It's good to see you again.
- Hi, Jen.
35
00:01:24,615 --> 00:01:26,815
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello.
36
00:01:28,652 --> 00:01:30,652
Hong Kong is British, right?
37
00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:35,539
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:39,379 --> 00:01:41,413
Morning, Jen.
39
00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,165
Good morning, Mr. Baxter.
40
00:01:52,059 --> 00:01:55,260
Wow, the coffee looks a lot like tea.
41
00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:57,979
I'm sorry. I couldn't find a kettle.
42
00:01:58,015 --> 00:02:01,233
Yeah, I hide the kettle
so no one will make tea.
43
00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:04,519
You're up early.
44
00:02:04,554 --> 00:02:07,055
The early bird. That's an expression.
45
00:02:07,074 --> 00:02:09,941
I know. It means I get to eat the worm.
46
00:02:09,993 --> 00:02:12,694
I've learned a lot of
American expressions.
47
00:02:12,729 --> 00:02:15,063
Don't count your chickens,
a bird in the hand,
48
00:02:15,082 --> 00:02:16,832
all your eggs in one basket.
49
00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:19,234
You people learn a lot
of lessons from birds.
50
00:02:19,253 --> 00:02:23,038
You should see us flip
them while we're in traffic.
51
00:02:25,342 --> 00:02:27,909
So, you got the paper.
52
00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:29,689
Yes, reading the paper
helps me with my English.
53
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,129
Good.
54
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,964
If I see a word I want
to use more, I circle it.
55
00:02:33,016 --> 00:02:35,300
Hey. Oh, look at that.
56
00:02:35,352 --> 00:02:37,769
You circled "boundaries."
Have you looked that up?
57
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:53,985
All right. Let's see
what's in the news today.
58
00:02:54,037 --> 00:02:56,905
The stock market's up, voters
in Ohio approved a new racetrack,
59
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:59,908
and one of the bachelorettes
is back in rehab.
60
00:02:59,943 --> 00:03:04,112
Saved me a little bit
of time, didn't you?
61
00:03:04,131 --> 00:03:05,947
If you'd just finish
the crossword puzzle,
62
00:03:05,966 --> 00:03:08,383
I won't have anything to...
Look it. You've done that.
63
00:03:08,418 --> 00:03:10,618
You finished the crossword puzzle.
64
00:03:10,637 --> 00:03:12,754
Oh, no. I'm upsetting your routine.
65
00:03:12,789 --> 00:03:14,890
I hope you don't also do the Sudoku.
66
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,558
Not today.
67
00:03:18,145 --> 00:03:19,761
Morning.
68
00:03:19,796 --> 00:03:22,130
Vanessa! Yay!
69
00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:23,565
Oh, hi.
70
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,767
Okay.
71
00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:28,353
Oh, my goodness, so, you're
also a morning person.
72
00:03:28,405 --> 00:03:30,272
My, it's a small world.
73
00:03:30,307 --> 00:03:32,274
And a small kitchen.
74
00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:37,279
Hey, the mail came.
75
00:03:37,314 --> 00:03:39,147
It came yesterday, too, Kyle.
76
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:41,199
That's what mail does.
77
00:03:41,251 --> 00:03:42,751
You know, Mr. Alzate sent away
78
00:03:42,786 --> 00:03:44,920
to this company to
find out his ancestry.
79
00:03:44,955 --> 00:03:49,207
Hey, wouldn't it be cool if in
a previous life he was Cleopatra?
80
00:03:49,259 --> 00:03:52,327
That's not how it works.
81
00:03:52,346 --> 00:03:55,380
And-and he already knows
who his ancestors are.
82
00:03:55,432 --> 00:03:57,999
He tells me twice a
day that they're from
83
00:03:58,018 --> 00:04:00,685
"the great
Basque region of Spain."
84
00:04:01,972 --> 00:04:04,005
Hey, Kyle. Kyle, did it come?
85
00:04:04,024 --> 00:04:07,008
Uh, let's see. Mr. B, Mr. B. Nah.
86
00:04:07,027 --> 00:04:09,644
It doesn't look like it's here,
Mr. Alzate. Uh, maybe tomorrow.
87
00:04:09,679 --> 00:04:11,646
Oh, damn it.
88
00:04:11,681 --> 00:04:13,681
You know who has the best mail service?
89
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:16,284
The great Basque region of Spain.
90
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,320
Isn't that where your
people are from, Ed?
91
00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:22,741
Oh, yes, yes, yes, and
another little-known fact...
92
00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:25,327
the Basque invented soup.
93
00:04:25,362 --> 00:04:27,829
Oddly enough, a bisque.
94
00:04:27,864 --> 00:04:31,032
Hey, uh, why is it so important
for you to get this report
95
00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:33,034
if you already know what it's gonna say?
96
00:04:33,053 --> 00:04:34,469
Because I want to be certain.
97
00:04:34,504 --> 00:04:36,137
You don't know who you truly are
98
00:04:36,173 --> 00:04:37,839
unless you know where you come from.
99
00:04:37,874 --> 00:04:40,375
Yeah, he's right.
100
00:04:40,394 --> 00:04:43,178
For years, I thought my
father was an arsonist.
101
00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:44,929
Mm-hmm.
102
00:04:44,982 --> 00:04:48,183
And then, my mom explained to me
that he was actually a bigamist.
103
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:51,102
Talk about relief.
104
00:04:51,154 --> 00:04:52,937
Hey, hey. Hey, look here.
105
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,656
On this website, they have an example
106
00:04:54,691 --> 00:04:56,224
of one of their DNA reports.
107
00:04:56,243 --> 00:04:57,725
You know, with a little photoshopping,
108
00:04:57,744 --> 00:05:00,061
we could get this to
say whatever we want
109
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,729
about where Ed comes from.
110
00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:03,198
Why would we do that?
111
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:05,700
Well, it'd be fun to see Ed find out
112
00:05:05,735 --> 00:05:08,420
he isn't as Basque as he thinks he is.
113
00:05:11,425 --> 00:05:13,408
This is great.
114
00:05:13,427 --> 00:05:15,410
Broncos on TV, you and I
115
00:05:15,429 --> 00:05:18,096
drinking, cursing, no women around.
116
00:05:21,051 --> 00:05:23,718
Want me to pull your
finger for old times' sake?
117
00:05:25,555 --> 00:05:28,223
Only if we're trailing
in the fourth quarter.
118
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:32,093
Ah, it's always so nice to see
you guys having fun together.
119
00:05:32,112 --> 00:05:33,528
We're not having fun.
120
00:05:33,563 --> 00:05:35,030
Sitting here on this couch together
121
00:05:35,065 --> 00:05:36,865
guarantees a Broncos victory.
122
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,200
Well, I thought it'd
be nice if you asked Jen
123
00:05:39,236 --> 00:05:40,985
to watch the game with you.
124
00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:42,904
I was, I was just about to.
125
00:05:44,559 --> 00:05:46,079
Are you sure? I don't really know much
126
00:05:46,109 --> 00:05:47,492
about American football.
127
00:05:47,544 --> 00:05:48,993
Well, that's just about to change.
128
00:05:49,046 --> 00:05:50,445
Uh, sit down.
129
00:05:50,464 --> 00:05:52,714
Careful where you sit.
He's superstitious.
130
00:05:52,749 --> 00:05:54,615
I'm not that superstitious. Sit down.
131
00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:57,218
- Okay.
- Uh, no, no. Don't, don't, don't.
132
00:05:59,222 --> 00:06:02,724
All right, well, I am off to
teach osmosis to a fifth grader.
133
00:06:02,759 --> 00:06:04,342
I just hope he absorbs it.
134
00:06:04,394 --> 00:06:06,177
Ah! That wasn't a bad pun.
135
00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:07,679
That was pretty funny, actually.
136
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:09,464
Uh, no. No, that wasn't a pun.
137
00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:11,933
He's not smart.
138
00:06:13,937 --> 00:06:15,737
Okay, still first quarter.
139
00:06:15,772 --> 00:06:17,138
We're playing the Chargers.
140
00:06:17,157 --> 00:06:18,773
White helmet with the
little lightning bolt.
141
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:20,442
We don't like them.
142
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:22,694
All right, you got any
questions, just fire 'em out.
143
00:06:22,746 --> 00:06:24,145
Let's watch a little, huh?
144
00:06:24,164 --> 00:06:25,947
Why do they wear their face masks?
145
00:06:25,982 --> 00:06:28,083
Is that so they don't bite each other?
146
00:06:28,118 --> 00:06:29,984
I...
147
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:32,871
I-I don't know.
148
00:06:32,923 --> 00:06:36,207
They use their hands much
more than they use their feet.
149
00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:38,293
Why isn't it called handball?
150
00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:41,846
Uh, I-I don't know.
151
00:06:44,301 --> 00:06:45,383
Punt.
152
00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:47,001
Okay, go, go, go, go.
153
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,472
- Fair catch.
- Fair catch.
154
00:06:53,477 --> 00:06:55,343
Mr. Baxter, does it help your team
155
00:06:55,362 --> 00:06:57,695
when you wear their blouses?
156
00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:03,017
They're actually...
they're called jerseys.
157
00:07:03,036 --> 00:07:05,186
You know what? We should
just watch the game
158
00:07:05,205 --> 00:07:07,989
and then, ask the questions at
the end or something like that.
159
00:07:08,024 --> 00:07:10,024
Oh, there's a commercial.
I got a ball in the yard.
160
00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,576
- You want to go kick it around?
- No, no, no, no!
161
00:07:11,628 --> 00:07:13,244
- Yes!
- If you leave,
162
00:07:13,296 --> 00:07:14,796
you take the mojo with ya.
163
00:07:14,831 --> 00:07:16,998
Sorry, Dad. Got to be a good host.
164
00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:18,800
Well, I hope we're not
trailing in the fourth quarter.
165
00:07:18,835 --> 00:07:21,136
I can't pull my own finger.
166
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,680
Mike, can we talk?
167
00:07:28,732 --> 00:07:31,849
Or you still not over
your little disappointment?
168
00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:34,135
Listen, a little disappointment
would be the doctor saying,
169
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,970
- "You're going to have another girl."
- Oh.
170
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,273
This is a big thing.
171
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:40,208
The Broncos lost.
172
00:07:40,243 --> 00:07:42,076
So how is that my fault?
173
00:07:42,112 --> 00:07:44,245
Because you made Jen
watch the game with us.
174
00:07:44,281 --> 00:07:45,697
Then she and Eve took off,
175
00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,915
went outside, took the mojo with them.
176
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:49,317
The Broncos end up losing the game.
177
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,652
- It's science.
- Oh.
178
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,654
Well, I'm sorry.
179
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,456
I just want you two to get along.
180
00:07:55,491 --> 00:07:57,125
Why is that so important?
181
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,294
Because, honey, Jen is
gonna be here for six months.
182
00:07:59,329 --> 00:08:01,462
I want her to feel
like this is her home,
183
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,097
and-and not feel like
184
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,216
she's got to tiptoe around
the master of the house.
185
00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:06,634
"Master of the house."
186
00:08:06,669 --> 00:08:08,669
How come we don't use
that term more often?
187
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,773
Come on. This is supposed to
be a great experience for her.
188
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,224
I'm not asking you
to be her best friend.
189
00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:15,443
- You just have to be nice.
- Go with me on this.
190
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,678
How about if I'm absent?
191
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:21,682
'Cause if you think about
it, that would be nice.
192
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,118
You're going to find something
you two have in common,
193
00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:25,486
and you're gonna bond.
194
00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:27,188
I'm a middle-aged man from Colorado.
195
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,190
She's a teenager from Hong Kong.
196
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:32,526
The only thing on that
Venn diagram are egg rolls.
197
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:35,463
Well, keep-keep
trying things, okay?
198
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,531
Why-why don't you take
Jen to Outdoor Man?
199
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,250
It's everything you love under one roof.
200
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:41,369
Your solution to not getting
along with her at home
201
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,004
is take her to work with me?
202
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,094
He hasn't come out yet?
203
00:08:50,146 --> 00:08:52,480
You gave him that fake
report, like, two hours ago.
204
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:54,215
Yeah. I don't know.
205
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,714
I still don't know if we should
be messing with a person's DNA.
206
00:08:56,719 --> 00:08:59,187
You know, we're not scientists.
207
00:08:59,222 --> 00:09:01,555
It's just a joke, Kyle.
208
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,224
It still says he's Basque.
209
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,527
I just added a little
French, a little Russian...
210
00:09:06,562 --> 00:09:09,113
and a whole lot of black.
211
00:09:12,568 --> 00:09:15,703
Chuck! Chuck, get in here!
212
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,872
Wait. Did he sound mad to you?
213
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:21,709
Really mad, but the Russians
are a hot-tempered people.
214
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,547
Hey, Ed.
215
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:30,385
My brother!
216
00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:34,305
Oh. Uh, what's happening?
217
00:09:34,357 --> 00:09:35,973
I have great, great news.
218
00:09:36,025 --> 00:09:38,226
I want to share it
with one of my people.
219
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,764
Chuck, I'm black.
220
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,534
Wow. Ed, that DNA report...
221
00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,202
Has changed my life.
222
00:09:48,238 --> 00:09:49,737
Look at this.
223
00:09:49,772 --> 00:09:51,906
I'm 37 and a half percent West African.
224
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,607
- Uh-huh.
- All right?
225
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,387
My people were traced
to what is now Nigeria.
226
00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:55,827
Ah.
227
00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:58,379
Uh, uh, where are your
people from, Chuck?
228
00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:02,417
St. Louis. Ed,
229
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:06,120
don't you find it a little hard
to believe that you're black?
230
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,956
No, no, th-this answers everything. No.
231
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,959
See, my-my father always seemed
like he was keeping a secret,
232
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:15,563
but now that I know what it
was, I finally feel close to him.
233
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,798
This... this is a blessing.
234
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,467
Oh, God.
235
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,353
Hey, Kyle? Kyle?
236
00:10:22,405 --> 00:10:24,472
Kyle, would you...? Uh, oh! Okay.
237
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,357
- Just stay close, Kyle. Come on.
- Yes, sir.
238
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:27,942
Ed just found out he's black,
239
00:10:27,977 --> 00:10:29,827
and his whole childhood
suddenly makes sense.
240
00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:33,915
- Mr. Alzate's black?
- Yeah.
241
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,451
That doesn't seem possible.
242
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:38,419
For too long the white man has tried
243
00:10:38,455 --> 00:10:40,087
to tell us what's
possible. Right, Chuck?
244
00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:41,873
Yeah, man.
245
00:10:41,925 --> 00:10:43,841
It's really held you back.
246
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,328
Listen, I-I-I got
to get back to work.
247
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,096
No, no, no, no, just-just...
248
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,098
You're sticking close to me. No, no.
249
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:54,101
You have to enlighten me on
everything about our culture.
250
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:56,471
- Our culture?
- Yeah, sit down. How we eat.
251
00:10:56,506 --> 00:10:59,006
- Oh.
- How we dance, how we love.
252
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:02,727
Uh, I am not showing
you how we love, Ed.
253
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:04,979
We'll start with our history, all right?
254
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:07,732
Kyle, go find us a copy of Roots.
255
00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:09,150
Roots.
256
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:11,185
That's nine and a half hours!
257
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,322
Oh, we've been through
worse, my brother!
258
00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:19,860
We got hunting, fishing,
rock climbing over here.
259
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,296
It's ski season now, so got ski masks.
260
00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:24,332
Very popular with the bank robbers.
261
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:26,300
Oh, dear.
262
00:11:26,336 --> 00:11:27,635
I'm kidding.
263
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,036
It's a joke.
264
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:31,172
But you do have a lot of
crime in America, right?
265
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:33,474
We're number one.
266
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:36,377
Um... hey, hey, like boats?
267
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,045
We'll go see the boats.
They're, uh, beautiful.
268
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,880
It's a whole area, um...
269
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,500
What am I saying? You're from Hong Kong.
270
00:11:41,518 --> 00:11:42,984
You're a huge seaport.
271
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,769
You're, like, lousy with boats.
272
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:47,772
Yes, but I still get
excited seeing new ones.
273
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:50,024
I think you're just
being polite with me.
274
00:11:50,059 --> 00:11:51,776
No, not at all.
275
00:11:51,828 --> 00:11:54,529
That would be the polite thing to say.
276
00:11:54,564 --> 00:11:56,397
Uh, let's take a different tack.
277
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,332
What are your interests?
We have a huge store.
278
00:11:58,368 --> 00:12:00,167
There's got to be something
in here that'd be cool for you.
279
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:01,402
I really like origami.
280
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,287
We don't have that.
281
00:12:03,339 --> 00:12:06,240
Oh, hey, Kris, come here a minute.
282
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,959
- Hi.
- Jen, I'd like you to meet Kristin,
283
00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:09,010
my eldest daughter.
284
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:10,411
She runs the restaurant here.
285
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,179
Jen, finally.
286
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:14,348
Mom won't stop talking about you.
287
00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:16,083
I mean, she loves talking in general,
288
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,686
but she really loves talking about you.
289
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:21,222
How, uh, how's
my old room treating you?
290
00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,257
Oh, that's your room? It's awesome.
291
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,092
Good, good. Later, I'll, uh, show you
292
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,478
sneak out the window.
293
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:29,063
After that,
294
00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:30,982
you can introduce her to your son Boyd,
295
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:33,985
the result of sneaking out the window.
296
00:12:34,037 --> 00:12:35,736
He's kidding. It...
297
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,738
It's funny 'cause it's true.
298
00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:41,709
It is so cool you manage this place.
299
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:43,544
My auntie runs a noodle
shop in Hong Kong.
300
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,079
I practically grew up there.
301
00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:46,581
Oh, well, the lunch rush is almost over.
302
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:47,748
Do you want to tour the kitchen?
303
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:49,584
Yes, that would be awesome.
304
00:12:49,619 --> 00:12:52,253
Mr. Baxter, may I please
be excused to join Kristin?
305
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:55,089
Sure, I think you and
I have had enough fun.
306
00:12:55,124 --> 00:12:57,291
Oh, that was another joke.
307
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:02,563
Uh, do you want something to eat first?
308
00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:04,849
We have coconut shrimp in the buffet.
309
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:06,517
I love coconut shrimp.
310
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:10,771
- I hate coconut shrimp.
- Oh,
311
00:13:10,806 --> 00:13:11,805
I know that look.
312
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:12,973
It's the same one you had
313
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,409
when Mom told you to
try and bond with Ryan.
314
00:13:15,445 --> 00:13:16,861
This is unbelievable.
315
00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:19,030
She gets along with
every human she runs into.
316
00:13:19,082 --> 00:13:21,616
But she can't get over
being polite to me.
317
00:13:21,651 --> 00:13:23,618
Well, you just have to find
something to do with her
318
00:13:23,653 --> 00:13:25,286
that makes her so comfortable
319
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:28,372
she forgets that you
make her uncomfortable.
320
00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:29,990
What time do you want her back?
321
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,992
I'm thinking, um...
322
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,461
June.
323
00:13:40,664 --> 00:13:43,048
And then you fold that corner to there
324
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:45,217
and that triangle to there
325
00:13:45,269 --> 00:13:46,718
and...
326
00:13:46,770 --> 00:13:47,886
origami.
327
00:13:47,938 --> 00:13:49,605
Boop.
328
00:13:51,191 --> 00:13:54,276
More like bore-igami.
329
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:57,396
I can't believe they killed
a tree for this stuff.
330
00:13:57,448 --> 00:13:59,347
Hey, you want to learn origami or not?
331
00:13:59,366 --> 00:14:02,784
Oh, God, no, I do not want to.
I'm doing this for your mom.
332
00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:05,621
I'm just doing this so that
Jen will feel more at home here.
333
00:14:05,656 --> 00:14:09,491
It'd be easier to get rid of your mom.
334
00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:12,160
- Ah.
- What?
335
00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:13,996
I just think it's funny that
you think sharing an interest
336
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:15,797
with her is the key to getting along.
337
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,532
I feel at home here,
338
00:14:17,551 --> 00:14:19,551
and you're not interested
in anything I care about.
339
00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:22,537
I care about a lot of
stuff you're interested in.
340
00:14:22,556 --> 00:14:24,397
Why didn't you come to
my first beauty pageant?
341
00:14:27,711 --> 00:14:30,679
You-you were in a beauty pageant?
342
00:14:30,714 --> 00:14:32,431
Yeah, second place.
343
00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:35,100
Completely rigged.
344
00:14:35,152 --> 00:14:36,935
Look, it doesn't matter
if you're interested.
345
00:14:36,987 --> 00:14:38,437
We love hanging out with each other.
346
00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:39,438
That's 'cause I'm your dad,
347
00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:42,223
and, by law, I'm required to do that.
348
00:14:42,242 --> 00:14:45,944
And I have grown to appreciate
your hurtful sense of humor.
349
00:14:45,996 --> 00:14:47,362
Because I think you know that mockery
350
00:14:47,397 --> 00:14:50,866
is the sincerest form of flattery.
351
00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,868
No.
352
00:14:52,903 --> 00:14:56,121
You're just not comfortable when
you have to be nice to people.
353
00:14:56,173 --> 00:14:57,906
Maybe that's your problem with Jen.
354
00:14:57,925 --> 00:15:00,909
I think you might have just nailed it.
355
00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:02,911
Thank you.
356
00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:06,181
Hey, wait, is that more
of your hurtful humor?
357
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:11,720
Okay, now,
358
00:15:11,755 --> 00:15:13,889
- so, we've covered soul food.
- Uh-huh.
359
00:15:13,924 --> 00:15:15,641
- And soul music, right?
- Mm.
360
00:15:15,693 --> 00:15:17,976
All right. Okay.
361
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:19,978
Tell me about this-this Soul Train.
362
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:24,766
Okay, y-you don't need to
know all this stuff, Ed.
363
00:15:24,785 --> 00:15:27,202
There's not going to be a test.
364
00:15:27,237 --> 00:15:28,704
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
365
00:15:28,739 --> 00:15:30,105
Please, explain something.
366
00:15:30,124 --> 00:15:31,940
Explain Arsenio.
367
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,875
See, I-I just...
368
00:15:33,911 --> 00:15:35,494
- I-I never got him.
- Okay.
369
00:15:35,546 --> 00:15:38,330
All right, I can't do this anymore.
370
00:15:38,382 --> 00:15:40,999
I faked the DNA results.
371
00:15:41,051 --> 00:15:43,785
This whole thing was
supposed to be a joke.
372
00:15:43,804 --> 00:15:45,253
Excuse me?
373
00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:46,888
You were driving us crazy
374
00:15:46,924 --> 00:15:49,791
with your constant
bragging about being Basque,
375
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:53,895
and I-I just wanted
to have a little fun.
376
00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:56,064
A little fun?
377
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:58,900
With a man's ancestry?
378
00:15:58,936 --> 00:16:01,903
With my unresolved father issues?
379
00:16:01,939 --> 00:16:03,355
I-In my defense,
380
00:16:03,407 --> 00:16:05,306
I thought you'd see right through it.
381
00:16:05,325 --> 00:16:09,978
You know, my uncle got his
ear chewed off by a billy goat.
382
00:16:09,997 --> 00:16:13,314
Maybe there's a laugh in that! Huh?
383
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,533
I'm...
384
00:16:14,585 --> 00:16:16,118
Hey.
385
00:16:16,153 --> 00:16:18,620
Hey, guys. Uh, I'm headed home.
386
00:16:18,655 --> 00:16:20,155
I just wanted to see
how everybody's doing.
387
00:16:20,174 --> 00:16:22,157
The world's turned upside down, Kyle.
388
00:16:22,176 --> 00:16:23,959
Turns out I'm not black.
389
00:16:25,512 --> 00:16:27,662
I am shocked...
390
00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:30,165
that somebody would mess with your DNA.
391
00:16:30,184 --> 00:16:31,800
We're not scientists.
392
00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,269
You knew.
393
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,773
Look, I'm-I'm sorry, Mr. Alzate.
394
00:16:37,808 --> 00:16:39,174
I wanted to tell you,
but you kept saying
395
00:16:39,193 --> 00:16:41,476
you were done listening to the Man.
396
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:44,345
I'm sorry, too, Ed.
397
00:16:44,364 --> 00:16:46,114
And if it makes you feel any better,
398
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:49,017
it's not easy being
a black man in Denver.
399
00:16:49,036 --> 00:16:51,319
Or anywhere.
400
00:16:51,354 --> 00:16:52,904
Well, then I guess...
401
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,823
I'm back to being Basque.
402
00:16:54,858 --> 00:16:56,825
Hey, being Basque is great, sir.
403
00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:58,827
- Yeah.
- The-the history, the traditions,
404
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,195
the soup.
405
00:17:00,214 --> 00:17:02,197
Well, that's-that's true, yeah.
406
00:17:02,216 --> 00:17:04,365
There's one more good
thing about being Basque.
407
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:05,867
- Mm.
- Yes.
408
00:17:05,886 --> 00:17:07,535
We can't be fooled.
409
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:09,254
Uh-oh...
410
00:17:09,306 --> 00:17:10,922
Yeah. Turns out,
411
00:17:10,974 --> 00:17:13,341
Beverly gave me the real test results
412
00:17:13,376 --> 00:17:15,594
before you "found" my report.
413
00:17:15,646 --> 00:17:16,595
Yeah.
414
00:17:16,647 --> 00:17:18,597
I'm 82% Basque.
415
00:17:18,649 --> 00:17:20,816
And 100% too smart for you idiots.
416
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:30,108
You made me watch Madea Goes to Jail!
417
00:17:31,862 --> 00:17:33,945
Not cool.
418
00:17:37,868 --> 00:17:39,334
That's a good one, Ed.
419
00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,002
Come on, Kyle.
420
00:17:41,038 --> 00:17:42,788
Just a minute.
421
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,373
There's just one more thing
I-I found in that report.
422
00:17:45,408 --> 00:17:47,342
I'm seven percent Norwegian.
423
00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:48,844
Hey, I'm Norwegian.
424
00:17:48,879 --> 00:17:50,078
Yes, I know, I know.
425
00:17:50,097 --> 00:17:51,680
Come sit down, my little brother.
426
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:55,250
All right, now,
427
00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:59,554
Chuck, uh, Chuck, go
find us a copy of Frozen.
428
00:18:02,926 --> 00:18:05,227
Oh, there you are.
429
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:08,230
Oh, yes, but I-I don't have to be.
430
00:18:08,265 --> 00:18:10,565
No, no, no, you're-you're
fine where you are.
431
00:18:10,601 --> 00:18:13,985
Listen, um, do me a favor
and cut the TV off, okay?
432
00:18:14,037 --> 00:18:15,237
Thanks.
433
00:18:15,272 --> 00:18:16,872
Listen, um...
434
00:18:16,907 --> 00:18:18,606
do you think I'm a nice guy?
435
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:20,441
Of course, Mr. Baxter.
436
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,443
I'm not.
437
00:18:22,462 --> 00:18:24,045
I'm really...
438
00:18:24,081 --> 00:18:26,114
sometimes quite a jerk.
439
00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:28,216
I don't know how to respond to that.
440
00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:30,451
I'm looking for things
that we have in common
441
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,004
so that we're comfortable
around each other.
442
00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:34,556
Well, that doesn't seem right.
443
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,057
My father and I get along great,
444
00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:37,893
and we don't have anything in common.
445
00:18:37,928 --> 00:18:41,179
Except that we both think I'm adorable.
446
00:18:41,231 --> 00:18:42,597
That's the kind of stuff you...
447
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:44,432
you shouldn't actually say out loud.
448
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,302
So I think you should
say more stuff like that.
449
00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:49,020
But wouldn't that be rude?
450
00:18:50,574 --> 00:18:52,357
Would you rather be
polite and uncomfortable
451
00:18:52,409 --> 00:18:54,910
or rude and comfortable?
452
00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:56,862
Can't you be polite and comfortable?
453
00:18:56,914 --> 00:18:59,281
Eh...
454
00:18:59,316 --> 00:19:02,701
Being polite so often
requires you to just care
455
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:04,703
about what other people are
doing and what they're feeling.
456
00:19:04,755 --> 00:19:07,455
Being comfortable, sometimes...
457
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,207
you just do what you want
458
00:19:09,259 --> 00:19:11,492
and other people just deal with it.
459
00:19:12,963 --> 00:19:14,329
- I think I get it.
- Yeah?
460
00:19:14,348 --> 00:19:16,331
So, if I wanted to be comfortable,
461
00:19:16,350 --> 00:19:18,333
I would say...
462
00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:19,935
football sucks, soccer rules,
463
00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:22,503
and I do all my shopping online.
464
00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:24,339
Sure.
465
00:19:24,358 --> 00:19:26,341
Origami's boring,
466
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,843
and playing football
with your feet is stupid.
467
00:19:31,281 --> 00:19:35,283
And tea is for old women.
468
00:19:35,319 --> 00:19:38,286
So, from now on, I should
just act the way I want
469
00:19:38,322 --> 00:19:39,905
and not worry about being polite?
470
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:42,490
Yeah. Do whatever you want
to do until I say don't.
471
00:19:42,525 --> 00:19:44,542
That's the way it works around here.
472
00:19:48,966 --> 00:19:51,866
It's a little fast. I didn't
catch the last of that.
473
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:54,035
Something my father says.
474
00:19:54,054 --> 00:19:56,471
Roughly translated, "I
pay for that cell phone
475
00:19:56,506 --> 00:20:00,258
and the clothes on your back,
so watch it, Miss Thing."
476
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:02,477
God, I like your dad a lot already.
477
00:20:02,512 --> 00:20:05,680
So, just let me see the remote here.
478
00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:08,149
- I was watching a movie.
- Don't care.
479
00:20:09,186 --> 00:20:10,718
That's not fair.
480
00:20:10,737 --> 00:20:12,854
You have a whole nother
room you can watch TV in.
481
00:20:12,889 --> 00:20:14,272
Eh, still,
482
00:20:14,324 --> 00:20:15,890
don't care.
483
00:20:15,909 --> 00:20:17,325
Ugh!
484
00:20:17,361 --> 00:20:19,327
I feel like I'm at home.
485
00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:20,328
There we go.
486
00:20:36,430 --> 00:20:37,645
Hey. Morning.
487
00:20:37,681 --> 00:20:38,730
Morning.
488
00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:42,567
It's coffee.
489
00:20:45,439 --> 00:20:47,689
As it should be.
490
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:08,460
No.
491
00:21:16,069 --> 00:21:18,269
Did you read this thing about...
492
00:21:22,225 --> 00:21:23,942
Good morning, you two!
493
00:21:26,916 --> 00:21:30,351
Huh. I knew they'd find
something in common.
35634
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