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DENNIS: Oh, there it is, Mac.
There it is.
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00:00:06,287 --> 00:00:08,054
MAC: I can't believe it's
finally arrived.
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00:00:08,056 --> 00:00:11,891
My God, Thundergun Express:The Unrated Director's Cut.
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00:00:11,893 --> 00:00:14,360
13 extra minutes of moviein this one.
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00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,462
And it's unrated.They were not able to rate it.
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00:00:16,464 --> 00:00:18,064
This is gonna be the bestThanksgiving ever.
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00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:20,767
Oh, yeah, absolutely, man.Thundergun, hoagies and four
8
00:00:20,769 --> 00:00:23,102
extra seconds dedicated solely
to the dong shot.
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00:00:23,104 --> 00:00:24,904
Buddy, that's what
I'm thankful for.
10
00:00:24,906 --> 00:00:26,572
So much better than
a traditional Thanksgiving.
11
00:00:26,574 --> 00:00:27,974
Oh, yeah, dude, I hate
Thanksgiving.
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00:00:27,976 --> 00:00:29,542
What is that?
What am I supposed
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00:00:29,544 --> 00:00:31,711
to be thankful for exactly?
Who am I meant to be thanking,
14
00:00:31,713 --> 00:00:33,146
right?
I've had to scratch
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00:00:33,148 --> 00:00:34,547
and claw for everything
I've got.
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00:00:34,549 --> 00:00:35,982
If anything, I should be
thanking myself.
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00:00:35,984 --> 00:00:39,152
Yeah.
LIAM: Hey, man.
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00:00:39,154 --> 00:00:40,753
RYAN: Welcome to Mahndo
Video.
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00:00:40,755 --> 00:00:43,389
How may we help you?
(groans) What are you guys
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00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,558
doing here?
We own the store.
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00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,561
We bought this bitch.
We wanted to invest in an
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00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:50,563
emerging market.
An emerging market?
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00:00:50,565 --> 00:00:52,565
Video stores are a dying market.
This is, like, one of the only
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00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:54,133
ones left.
Then we're gonna corner that
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00:00:54,135 --> 00:00:55,835
market.
Okay. Whatever.
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00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:57,837
Liam, what is on your eye?
Someone ate my eye at my
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00:00:57,839 --> 00:00:59,839
wedding.
Don't you remember, man?
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00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:01,841
The eyepatch is flesh-colored
to make people less
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00:01:01,843 --> 00:01:04,844
uncomfortable.
I'm way more uncomfortable.
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00:01:04,846 --> 00:01:06,846
Yeah, absolutely.
You look like a man who was
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00:01:06,848 --> 00:01:08,848
born without an eye, which is
way creepier than a man who lost
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00:01:08,850 --> 00:01:10,483
one.
Just get a black eyepatch, you
33
00:01:10,485 --> 00:01:12,485
know?
Embrace it. Losing an eye is
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00:01:12,487 --> 00:01:14,120
badass.
It's not badass.
35
00:01:14,122 --> 00:01:16,122
I have no depth perception!
It's all your fault.
36
00:01:16,124 --> 00:01:17,757
What are you... How is it our
fault?
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00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:19,759
What are you talking about?
Let's not get into a whole
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00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:21,761
thing about missing eyes and
whose fault they are.
39
00:01:21,763 --> 00:01:23,763
You know, we'll just rent the
video, and we'll be out of here.
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00:01:23,765 --> 00:01:25,765
You are not renting shit.
You are not welcome in this
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00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:27,834
store.
Your video-renting days are
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00:01:27,836 --> 00:01:30,103
over!
No, come on, don't do that,
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00:01:30,105 --> 00:01:34,507
dude.
Oh...
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00:01:34,509 --> 00:01:37,210
I-It's not even... it's not
even close.
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00:01:37,212 --> 00:01:39,278
I mean, I...
Let me get that for you.
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00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,014
Thanks, man.
Don't cut... don't...
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00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:44,150
Goddamn it.
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00:01:44,152 --> 00:01:47,954
CHARLIE: All right, look,
just pay the man already.
49
00:01:47,956 --> 00:01:49,956
We'll be done with it.
It's freezing in there.
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00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:51,991
FRANK: No can do, Charlie.
It's the principle of the thing.
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00:01:51,993 --> 00:01:53,993
DEE: You guys having a
principle fight?
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00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:55,628
No, we're not having a
principle fight.
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00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,730
We're having a heat fight, okay?
'Cause our heat's broken, and
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00:01:57,732 --> 00:01:59,866
Hwang won't fix it until this
guy pays the rent.
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00:01:59,868 --> 00:02:01,767
This guy's not gonna pay the
rent till Hwang fixes the heat.
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00:02:01,769 --> 00:02:03,636
So you got one of those snafus,
where you got old assholes...
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00:02:03,638 --> 00:02:05,838
It's a deadlock.
It's a deadlock of butting
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00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,807
heads.
We got a disaster on our
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00:02:07,809 --> 00:02:09,775
hands, a disaster.
The McPoyles bought Mahndo
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00:02:09,777 --> 00:02:11,811
Video.
They revoked our membership.
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00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:13,913
You didn't get Thundergun?We didn't get shit!
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00:02:13,915 --> 00:02:17,016
Aw... Hang on.Dee, why do our hoagies reek of
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00:02:17,018 --> 00:02:19,152
gasoline?Maybe 'cause I got 'em at the
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00:02:19,154 --> 00:02:21,154
gas station, I guess.Why?
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00:02:21,156 --> 00:02:23,322
Why didn't you get the oneswe like from the Wawa?
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00:02:23,324 --> 00:02:25,391
Because Gail the Snail worksat the Wawa, okay?
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00:02:25,393 --> 00:02:27,493
And we got mad beef.She won't serve me.
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00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,095
This is a mess.This is a mess.
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00:02:29,097 --> 00:02:31,164
We can't get the sandwiches wewant, we can't get the videos we
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00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,166
want, my apartment's an icebox.Thanksgiving's gonna be ruined,
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00:02:33,168 --> 00:02:34,767
you know.It's not just Thanksgiving,
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00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:36,769
pal.You know what the real problem
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00:02:36,771 --> 00:02:38,404
is?We have too many beefs all over
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00:02:38,406 --> 00:02:40,406
town.It's jamming us up.
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00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:42,408
We made a lot of enemies overthe years.
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00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,410
We have made enemies.We got to do something about
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00:02:44,412 --> 00:02:48,014
this, guys, okay?So I say we use Thanksgiving as
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00:02:48,016 --> 00:02:52,518
an opportunity to squash some ofthose beefs.
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00:03:02,969 --> 00:03:13,968
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:03:20,953 --> 00:03:23,065
All right, guys, this is
really coming together.
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00:03:23,185 --> 00:03:23,905
It's looking good.
82
00:03:23,981 --> 00:03:27,089
You know... you know, this was the
original meaning of Thanksgiving anyway.
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00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,166
The Pilgrims and Indians had
beef.
84
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:30,167
So what did they do?
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00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,168
They got together, they sat at a
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00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,169
table, they ate some delicious
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00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,170
food and they squashed that
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00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,171
beef.
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00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,206
And that's exactly what we're
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00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:36,207
gonna do.
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00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:37,208
Mac and I are gonna squash the
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00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,209
McPoyle beef, you guys are gonna
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00:03:38,211 --> 00:03:39,210
squash Hwang...
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00:03:39,212 --> 00:03:41,045
And you guys are gonna squash
with Bruce.
95
00:03:41,047 --> 00:03:42,313
What?
Say what?
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00:03:42,315 --> 00:03:43,948
Bruce Mathis, I invited him.
What?!
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00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:45,349
What? What?
Why would you do that?
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00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:48,019
Because he is your dad, and
Thanksgiving is a holiday for
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00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,621
families.
I also invited Charlie's mom, my
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00:03:50,623 --> 00:03:52,623
mom and my dad, but they didn't
want to come.
101
00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:54,625
So just Bruce?
You know what, it's okay.
102
00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,627
We'll-we'll manage very
carefully, and it'll be fine.
103
00:03:56,629 --> 00:03:58,629
Hey, maybe we can squeeze some
money out of the guy.
104
00:03:58,631 --> 00:04:00,631
I'm-I'm confused though.
In this whole scenario with the
105
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,833
Pilgrim and the Indians, which
one are we?
106
00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:05,069
The Pilgrims.
They came out on top.
107
00:04:05,071 --> 00:04:06,704
I don't know about that, Frank.
108
00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:08,973
The Indians, they've got sports
teams, they've got casinos.
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00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:10,975
They're a very celebrated
people.
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00:04:10,977 --> 00:04:12,977
Yeah, that's true, actually.
You don't see people walking
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00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:14,979
around with the tall hat with a
buckle on the front.
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00:04:14,981 --> 00:04:17,348
Makes no difference though in
our scenario with what we're
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00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:19,417
trying to accomplish here, okay?
They buried the hatchet.
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00:04:19,419 --> 00:04:21,552
That's what they did, and that's
what we're gonna do.
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00:04:21,554 --> 00:04:24,522
Okay, so, to that end, here's
the plan: once the guests
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00:04:24,524 --> 00:04:28,025
arrive, we will ply them with
liquor and then I will present
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00:04:28,027 --> 00:04:31,028
to them this peace treaty that I
will have them sign.
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00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:33,097
Why do you always want people
to sign creepy documents?
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00:04:33,099 --> 00:04:36,000
(laughs) Well, Frank, once
something's in writing, that
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00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:38,002
means it's set in stone.
Then no one can do anything to
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00:04:38,004 --> 00:04:40,004
stop me.
When do you want me to serve
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00:04:40,006 --> 00:04:42,006
the squash and the beef?
S-So we're literally serving
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00:04:42,008 --> 00:04:44,008
squash and beef?
You said we're squashing
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00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:44,642
beef.
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00:04:44,644 --> 00:04:46,610
I thought it would be part of
the ceremony to have squash and
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00:04:46,612 --> 00:04:48,612
beef.
Yeah, it's all about the
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00:04:48,614 --> 00:04:50,247
ceremony.
That's why I got this bucket of
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00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:52,249
dirt and a hatchet, so we can
have a ceremonial burying of the
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00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,251
hatchet.
Right. And after we do that,
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00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,253
we're going to wipe the slate
clean.
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00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:59,190
Wait, no, guys, look, this is
all very on the nose and totally
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00:04:59,192 --> 00:05:02,226
unnecessary.
HWANG: Where's food?
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00:05:02,228 --> 00:05:04,228
Walk right in, why don't you,
Hwang?
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00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:05,963
Thanksgiving, food.
Yeah, Thanksgiving...
135
00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:07,965
Thanksgiving, yeah, go sit
down.
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00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:09,800
Have a seat, have a seat, man!
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00:05:09,802 --> 00:05:11,535
What do you live in, a barn?
Have a seat, Hwang.
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00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:13,504
Guys, listen, regroup, regroup.
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00:05:13,506 --> 00:05:16,707
Let's put on some music, lighten
the mood and get this party
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00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:19,243
started.
(Tom Tom Club's "Genius of Love"
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00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:21,545
playing)
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Dee.
Hmm?
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00:05:28,087 --> 00:05:30,087
Go break the ice.
What?
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00:05:30,089 --> 00:05:31,722
Yeah.
Why me?
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00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:33,324
Yeah, yeah, someone's got to
do it.
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00:05:33,326 --> 00:05:37,261
Just go to go over there...
Go, go, go.
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00:05:37,263 --> 00:05:39,730
S-Some good crackers.
Huh?
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00:05:39,732 --> 00:05:43,234
Mm. Mm.
They are delicious.
149
00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:45,236
Yeah.
What's wrong? Is it the eye?
150
00:05:45,238 --> 00:05:47,238
Why would... I don't even
know why you would say
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00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,839
that-that.
They made me feel
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00:05:48,841 --> 00:05:50,474
self-conscious.
Did they?
153
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:53,177
Yeah. Is it off-putting?
Or does it look real?
154
00:05:53,179 --> 00:05:56,480
The skin tone is a... is a...
a good match.
155
00:05:56,482 --> 00:06:00,117
Oh, well, when you move the
other one, I guess I can tell a
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00:06:00,119 --> 00:06:04,688
little bit, if I'm being honest.
(door shuts)
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00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,690
CRICKET: Hey, turkeys,
gobble, gobble.
158
00:06:06,692 --> 00:06:08,692
Cricket, what the hell are
you doing here?
159
00:06:08,694 --> 00:06:10,694
Word around town is you guys
are squashing beef.
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00:06:10,696 --> 00:06:12,696
We don't have beef with you.
You don't have beef with me?
161
00:06:12,698 --> 00:06:15,099
I was a priest before I got
involved with you guys.
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00:06:15,101 --> 00:06:16,700
Unbelievable.
Look, we have enough on our
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00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,602
plate right now, Crick.
Come on, guys, let me stay.
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00:06:18,604 --> 00:06:20,604
I-I'll eat the gristle.
You can eat it off the floor
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00:06:20,606 --> 00:06:22,540
like a dog, how 'bout that?
Now you're just creating more
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00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,542
beef.
I don't mind.
167
00:06:24,544 --> 00:06:26,177
Woof, woof, baby.
Great.
168
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:27,812
Look at that. Beef squashed,
huh?
169
00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,814
Okay, wait, wait, hold on a
second.
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00:06:29,816 --> 00:06:31,549
Here, sign this treaty.
Mmm, yeah.
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00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:33,184
It'll be official.
Good.
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00:06:33,186 --> 00:06:35,186
Boom, all right, get out of
here.
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00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:37,721
Go, go, go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
174
00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:40,057
175
00:06:40,059 --> 00:06:54,638
Okay, let's get started.
I really like your room,
176
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,041
Mac.
Thank you.
177
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:59,476
Yeah, great.
Have a seat, guys.
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00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:03,581
Um, now, I...
Yeah.
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00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:05,549
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little to
the... to your right.
180
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,818
Okay, good.
Now, I know we've had our
181
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:10,021
differences in the past.
Things have been a little tense
182
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:12,423
between us.
What is this?
183
00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:14,825
What is what?
Standing.
184
00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:16,827
What's with the standing?
You're lording.
185
00:07:16,829 --> 00:07:19,029
We're not lording, we're just
having a conversation.
186
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:20,865
Yeah, we're just...
Some kind of a status thing?
187
00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:23,033
A power move?
Some kind of power play?
188
00:07:23,035 --> 00:07:24,768
Come on, guys. No.
It's not a power move!
189
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:26,737
We're having a conversation.
There's one chair.
190
00:07:26,739 --> 00:07:28,672
Bring it down.
Just bring it down on the
191
00:07:28,674 --> 00:07:30,741
haunches.
You want us to squat?
192
00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:33,177
Haunch it. Arch down.
Oh, Christ, fine.
193
00:07:33,179 --> 00:07:34,678
Just do it, just do it.
All right, look...
194
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,547
Just do it. Give him the...
Guys, look, I know we've had
195
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:38,349
our differences in the past.
Things have been very, very
196
00:07:38,351 --> 00:07:40,551
awkward, but it's time for us to
move forward with our
197
00:07:40,553 --> 00:07:42,720
relationship, all right?
It's time to hit the reset
198
00:07:42,722 --> 00:07:45,122
button, wouldn't you say?
Here's this. Open it up.
199
00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:47,558
Mm-hmm.
It's your gift.
200
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,960
What the hell is this?
It's a peace treaty.
201
00:07:49,962 --> 00:07:52,396
We need you to sign that.
I thought I was getting an
202
00:07:52,398 --> 00:07:54,765
eye.
BOTH: An eye?
203
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,967
Why would you think that?
You kept making comments.
204
00:07:56,969 --> 00:07:59,270
You were hinting about eyes.
We're not giving you an eye!
205
00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:01,572
Where the Christ would we get
an eye?
206
00:08:01,574 --> 00:08:03,874
And if we did get an eye, how
would we attach it to you?
207
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:06,076
I'm not signing shit until I
get an eye. You owe me.
208
00:08:06,078 --> 00:08:08,445
Give him your eye.
You want me to give him my
209
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,814
eye?
Mm-hmm.
210
00:08:10,816 --> 00:08:12,883
You realize how preposterous
that is?
211
00:08:12,885 --> 00:08:14,618
Okay, then apologize.
Apologize for what?
212
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,620
(yelling): For everything!
For all of it!
213
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,555
This isn't...
It's not about apology.
214
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:20,391
We're not apologizing.
We're not apologizing, okay?
215
00:08:20,393 --> 00:08:22,259
Nobody's apologizing.
No one's admitting guilt or
216
00:08:22,261 --> 00:08:24,461
anything.
We've all done something wrong.
217
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,497
Okay, it's just about... it's
just about, like, you know,
218
00:08:26,499 --> 00:08:30,634
moving forward, moving on.
Look, all you have to do is
219
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:37,308
apologize, and I'll sign it.
Give us a second.
220
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:40,778
All right.
How are we gonna get this eye?
221
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:45,616
I don't know.
222
00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:54,191
Come on, come on, give me some.
223
00:08:54,193 --> 00:08:56,160
Eat the... eat the... you
know, the skins if you got to
224
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,329
eat something.
I'll eat the skins.
225
00:08:58,331 --> 00:09:00,197
I'll always eat the skins.
I love the skins.
226
00:09:00,199 --> 00:09:02,132
It's where all the vitamins are.
What kind of meat is that,
227
00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:04,034
Charlie? Doesn't smell right.
It's not grade A meat.
228
00:09:04,036 --> 00:09:05,970
You know, I'm not gonna get
grade A meat. Just...
229
00:09:05,972 --> 00:09:07,972
(doorbell rings)
Why are you guys hovering?
230
00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:10,140
Don't hover. Answer the door!
Get the door!
231
00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:12,543
All right.
Yeah, all right!
232
00:09:12,545 --> 00:09:14,712
GAIL: I'm gonna fight with
you.
233
00:09:14,714 --> 00:09:16,947
What?!
Snail, what the hell are you
234
00:09:16,949 --> 00:09:19,149
doing here? Who invited you?
Dee, we invited her, okay?
235
00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:21,051
Enough is enough.
You got to squash it with Snail,
236
00:09:21,053 --> 00:09:22,987
all right?
We want to go to the Wawa again,
237
00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:24,855
all right?
Goddamn it.
238
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,658
Hey, you want some beef?
You want some squash?
239
00:09:26,659 --> 00:09:28,659
You want to pack some beef?
(makes loud sucking sound)
240
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:30,661
Listen, could you just
swallow your spit and then
241
00:09:30,663 --> 00:09:32,663
breathe, and then we can talk?
Then breathe, and close your
242
00:09:32,665 --> 00:09:34,798
mouth.
(snort, loud breathing)
243
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,700
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, my God, it was sad for a
244
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,702
second, and now it's right back
to... rah, making me do the...
245
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,671
See a doctor!
Go see a doctor.
246
00:09:40,673 --> 00:09:42,706
All right, oh, let's just...
All right, hold on. Um...
247
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:44,641
Let's compromise.
Is there something that we can
248
00:09:44,643 --> 00:09:46,410
do to just, you know, patch this
up between you and Dee?
249
00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:48,312
I want her to be my best
friend, yo.
250
00:09:48,314 --> 00:09:50,214
Oh, well, you know what?
That's not gonna happen, so...
251
00:09:50,216 --> 00:09:52,082
Yeah, that's too much.
Okay...
252
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:53,684
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Is there a compromise?
253
00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:55,152
Is there anything?
How about just for today?
254
00:09:55,154 --> 00:09:56,387
Just for today?
Together.
255
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:57,988
Okay, and then I get my
convenience store to be
256
00:09:57,990 --> 00:09:59,590
convenient to me again, that's
the deal?
257
00:09:59,592 --> 00:10:01,225
Word is bond, yo.
Okay. Okay, yeah, that sounds
258
00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:03,028
good, let's do it. Yes, okay.
All right, good.
259
00:10:03,029 --> 00:10:04,695
Frank, Hwang, you're up.
Let's go.
260
00:10:04,697 --> 00:10:06,997
Okay.
261
00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:24,929
All right, well, somebody say
something.
262
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,507
These crackers need more salt.
263
00:10:27,509 --> 00:10:31,678
I agree.
Okay, well... they're
264
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,281
extremely salty, but-but good.
That's a start.
265
00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:36,650
I mean, you know, you guys agree
about something.
266
00:10:36,652 --> 00:10:39,052
Hey! All right.
My doctor say, no salt.
267
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,455
Mine, too.
Doctors are shit!
268
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:45,659
Goddamn medicine men, trying
to tell me how to eat my food.
269
00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:48,061
They're all shit.
Well, look at that.
270
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:50,964
You guys agree about something!
Look at you two-- two extremely
271
00:10:50,966 --> 00:10:54,034
hardheaded, unhealthy old men
who refuse to listen to doctors.
272
00:10:54,036 --> 00:10:56,737
Come on, you guys are, like...
Can we work this out?
273
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,339
All right, Hwang, what if Frank
gives you, like, half the rent
274
00:10:59,341 --> 00:11:02,576
now, then you fix the heat?!
And then, he gives you the other
275
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:06,179
half when the job's done?
It's okay.
276
00:11:07,259 --> 00:11:09,626
Yeah?
All right, that's a deal.
277
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,062
That's a squashed beef.
Frank, you.
278
00:11:12,064 --> 00:11:17,067
Oh, as a matter of fact...
I could give the whole month's
279
00:11:17,069 --> 00:11:19,436
rent right here.
Well, that'd be... good.
280
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:21,839
I'll take it.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna do
281
00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:24,274
it, because I'm not gonna let
you beat me, because you're a
282
00:11:24,276 --> 00:11:25,426
lousy son of a bitch.
You're a dog!
283
00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,427
I'm a dog, you're a dog, huh?
Wt, wait, wait, wait.
284
00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:29,429
How's that? Huh?
You're a fire dog!
285
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,632
Plenty more where this came
from.
286
00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:33,634
I could heat that apartment all
winter, huh? You want it? Aah...
287
00:11:33,636 --> 00:11:35,604
Yeah, yeah, yeah, fire dog.
Aw!
288
00:11:35,605 --> 00:11:37,639
You're trying to burn me!
Just give us an eye.
289
00:11:40,344 --> 00:11:42,711
You don't need both of them.
I only have one good working
290
00:11:42,713 --> 00:11:44,946
eye.
Yeah, but I think it might be
291
00:11:44,948 --> 00:11:46,948
better if you're blind anyway.
You know, it's gonna heighten
292
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:48,950
all your other senses.
Let me think about it.
293
00:11:48,952 --> 00:11:50,952
I'll think about it.
Okay, give it some thought.
294
00:11:50,954 --> 00:11:52,665
Give it some thought.
I'll think about it.
295
00:11:52,666 --> 00:11:54,666
All right, well, we'll work
that angle.
296
00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,366
Ooh, maybe that's Bruce.
Oh, yeah. Hey, how'd you get
297
00:11:55,368 --> 00:11:57,235
him down here anyway?
I told him that his kids
298
00:11:57,237 --> 00:11:59,003
wanted to see him for
Thanksgiving, and that you guys
299
00:11:59,005 --> 00:12:00,838
wanted to be one big happy
family again.
300
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,873
Oh, nice.
Hey.
301
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,163
Who's this jabroni?
I have no idea.
302
00:12:04,165 --> 00:12:05,932
Slam the door on his face.
See you, bozo.
303
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,867
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.
Actually, I know who this guy
304
00:12:07,869 --> 00:12:09,869
is. Holy shit!
Dude, this is the guy that Frank
305
00:12:09,871 --> 00:12:11,871
and Dee mistook for Bruce, and
Frank got that bad intel, so
306
00:12:11,873 --> 00:12:13,873
they went to his apartment,
instead of Bruce's apartment.
307
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:15,875
And then we blew up his car.
Blew the shit out of his car.
308
00:12:15,877 --> 00:12:17,877
Oh, my God.
Wait a minute.
309
00:12:17,879 --> 00:12:20,280
That was you guys?
Huh? No.
310
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,515
I don't even know what you're
talking about.
311
00:12:22,517 --> 00:12:24,717
Uh...
Happy Thanksgiving.
312
00:12:24,719 --> 00:12:26,886
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, wait. Please.
313
00:12:26,888 --> 00:12:28,888
Are my kids in there?
Somebody wrote me a note and
314
00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:31,090
said that my kids wanted to see
me?
315
00:12:31,092 --> 00:12:33,293
I haven't seen 'em since my wife
left me.
316
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,295
Are they in here? Sabrina?
Oh, this is bad.
317
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,530
Yeah. Oh.
Marco? Daddy's here.
318
00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:39,732
Oh, my God.
We really opened up a can of
319
00:12:39,734 --> 00:12:41,901
worms.
It's a bit messy.
320
00:12:41,903 --> 00:12:43,903
The good news is, seems that the
kids thing took his mind off the
321
00:12:43,905 --> 00:12:46,105
car thing, so, maybe it'll work
itself out.
322
00:12:46,107 --> 00:12:48,541
Okay, good.
All right.
323
00:12:48,543 --> 00:12:50,910
BILL: Mac.
Hey.
324
00:12:50,912 --> 00:12:52,912
Hey, thanks for calling, man.
So, where are the kids?
325
00:12:52,914 --> 00:12:55,081
I can't wait to see those little
rug rats.
326
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,083
It's been forever.
I'm sure they're around
327
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:59,085
somewhere.
Go ahead and mingle, and maybe
328
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:01,054
you'll find 'em.
My kids aren't really here,
329
00:13:01,056 --> 00:13:03,056
are they?
Uh... no.
330
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:04,924
No. No, I lied about that.
Thank God. Let's get
331
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
shit-housed, right, guys?
What a piece of shit that guy
332
00:13:09,002 --> 00:13:11,169
is.
Yeah, he's a real piece of
333
00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:13,171
shit, yeah.
Oh, my God.
334
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,140
What the hell is Ponderosa
doing here?
335
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,175
Well, he's the one that's
responsible for Liam's eye, so
336
00:13:17,177 --> 00:13:19,077
we figured, you know, he shows
up, it shifts the blame from us
337
00:13:19,079 --> 00:13:21,079
to him, and, worst case
scenario, they'll take his eye.
338
00:13:21,081 --> 00:13:23,014
Oh, my God, this is getting
way too confusing.
339
00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:25,016
We got too many beefs.
I can't keep up.
340
00:13:25,018 --> 00:13:26,985
God, Dee, we got it.
Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk.
341
00:13:26,987 --> 00:13:29,087
Too many beefs, we got it.
I'm not honking. I'm just...
342
00:13:29,089 --> 00:13:31,089
I'm expressing something...
I'll admit it, it's getting
343
00:13:31,091 --> 00:13:33,224
confusing, there's a lot of
people here.
344
00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:35,226
See?
I'll take some of the blame
345
00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:36,007
for that. I did invite...
Let us take the lead.
346
00:13:36,127 --> 00:13:38,223
We got it, we got it.
Okay.
347
00:13:38,343 --> 00:13:41,902
Can't get it to stay.
There you go.
348
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:52,871
(indistinct chatter)
Hi, uh, everybody, I'd like
349
00:13:53,111 --> 00:13:55,111
to say something, please.
Uh, could I have your attention,
350
00:13:55,113 --> 00:13:56,746
please?
I'd like to say something, yeah.
351
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:59,615
Um, so, the Pilgrims hated the
Indians and the Indians, they
352
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:02,151
despised the Pilgrims.
Yeah.
353
00:14:02,153 --> 00:14:04,487
But nonetheless, on
Thanksgiving, they got together,
354
00:14:04,489 --> 00:14:07,590
right, and it wasn't about
apologizing to each other.
355
00:14:07,592 --> 00:14:10,159
"Aw..."
It wasn't about admitting guilt.
356
00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:13,563
Won't do that. Okay?
It was just about making the
357
00:14:13,565 --> 00:14:15,665
peace-- that was all that it was
about.
358
00:14:15,667 --> 00:14:18,067
And if the Indians knew how to
sign shit, they probably
359
00:14:18,069 --> 00:14:20,269
would've signed a peace treaty.
Right? So that's what we're
360
00:14:20,271 --> 00:14:21,938
gonna do.
We're gonna make peace with each
361
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,940
other, and we're gonna get it in
writing.
362
00:14:23,942 --> 00:14:25,942
All right? Is everybody amenable
to that?
363
00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:28,845
Sound good?
Great, uh, so we'd like to
364
00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:32,448
begin with Bill Ponderosa.
Yes.
365
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:35,852
(applause)
It's not... There's no need
366
00:14:35,854 --> 00:14:37,854
to clap.
It's not a clapping event.
367
00:14:37,856 --> 00:14:40,857
No. Right. So...
Okay, so, um, Bill, do you have
368
00:14:40,859 --> 00:14:43,092
something you'd like to admit to
someone here?
369
00:14:43,094 --> 00:14:45,661
Yes, actually, I do.
Uh, I once broke into Dee's
370
00:14:45,663 --> 00:14:49,165
apartment and sniffed on her
panties.
371
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:53,603
What? Goddamn it! Beef!
No, I got beef with that.
372
00:14:53,605 --> 00:14:55,872
Uh, can we, um... Just stay
on track.
373
00:14:55,874 --> 00:14:59,208
Um... Bill, is there something
you want to say to the McPoyles?
374
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:04,647
Oh, um... Hey, hey.
I love that painted-on eye, man.
375
00:15:04,649 --> 00:15:07,216
That is fun.
No. No, wait. No, no.
376
00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:11,120
Okay. No, no, no.
All right, hey, hey, hey!
377
00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:13,656
Everybody stop clapping.
All right, Liam, Bill's the one
378
00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:16,626
who put bath salts in the punch
at your wedding, all right?
379
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:18,828
He's the one who is responsible
for your empty eyehole.
380
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,997
Is this true, man?
Maybe. I...
381
00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:22,999
The only thing I remember from
that night is my sponsor Frank
382
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:25,001
giving me the green light to get
shit-housed.
383
00:15:25,003 --> 00:15:26,636
That's true.
That happened.
384
00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:28,704
I'll back that up.
Then it's your fault.
385
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:30,873
You owe my brother an eye!
All right, settle down!
386
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,508
Settle... Take it easy, all
right?
387
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:34,510
Don't drag him into your beef
'cause I need him to focus on
388
00:15:34,512 --> 00:15:36,145
ours here.
Hey, Frank, I'm giving this
389
00:15:36,147 --> 00:15:39,048
guy a handy under the table.
Are you jealous?
390
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:42,718
(slurping sound)
She's mashing it.
391
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,389
She does that.
I'm very aroused.
392
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:49,725
Very good.
Look, I'm-I'm sorry.
393
00:15:49,727 --> 00:15:51,727
Which one of you knows my
ex-wife and when are my kids
394
00:15:51,729 --> 00:15:53,830
getting here?
They'll get here. Just...
395
00:15:53,832 --> 00:15:55,998
Who's this jabroni?
Uh, this is the gentleman who
396
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,335
we mistook for Bruce Mathis.
Right, yep, and then we blew
397
00:15:59,337 --> 00:16:01,571
up his car.
Don't say that!
398
00:16:01,573 --> 00:16:03,739
A-All of this, and it was you
guys.
399
00:16:03,741 --> 00:16:06,008
You owe me a car.
Whoa, easy, man!
400
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,911
That's a big leap right there.
Buddy, buddy, um, what's the
401
00:16:08,913 --> 00:16:10,913
deal with your kids?
Y-You haven't see 'em in a
402
00:16:10,915 --> 00:16:12,548
while.
Did you do something?
403
00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:14,951
Is it... Was it your fault?
Oh. I have a horrible drug
404
00:16:14,953 --> 00:16:17,720
problem.
Ooh, I hear you.
405
00:16:17,722 --> 00:16:20,056
I know that game, huh?
You want to do a bump here?
406
00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:22,191
Yeah, of course I want a bump.
407
00:16:22,193 --> 00:16:24,794
I'll have a few of those
delicious nose clams.
408
00:16:24,796 --> 00:16:28,130
Frank, no, come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
409
00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:30,132
Don't clap for that!
What? I can't have squash?
410
00:16:30,134 --> 00:16:31,801
I can't have blow?
We need you to focus!
411
00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:33,469
Sign the damn treaty!
All right, you know what, Hwang,
412
00:16:33,471 --> 00:16:34,904
you sign the treaty.
I'll sign it.
413
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,606
Oh, gross! Don't touch me
with that hand!
414
00:16:36,608 --> 00:16:38,441
Put your hand over here.
I'll take sloppy seconds.
415
00:16:38,443 --> 00:16:40,243
Absolutely not.
Mash me, baby. Mash me.
416
00:16:40,245 --> 00:16:42,645
No mashing at the table!
Stop mashing, all right?
417
00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:44,714
Come on. Goddamn it, Frank, I'm
starting to think I have beef
418
00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:46,315
with you!Yeah, us, too!
419
00:16:46,317 --> 00:16:48,885
Okay, I have an idea.It's time now to wipe the slate
420
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,887
clean.No, you said we were gonna do
421
00:16:50,889 --> 00:16:52,922
the hatchet thing first!Don't worry about the hatchet
422
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,557
thing, okay?That was an unsanctioned move.
423
00:16:54,559 --> 00:16:56,125
Well, none of these moves areworking!
424
00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:59,529
We got to do something else!(overlapping arguing)
425
00:16:59,531 --> 00:17:08,237
Food fight! Food fight!I guess!
426
00:17:08,239 --> 00:17:11,307
What?!No!
427
00:17:11,309 --> 00:17:14,844
(overlapping shouting, grunting)
428
00:17:14,846 --> 00:17:24,353
Sign the treaty!You owe me an eye, Frank!
429
00:17:24,355 --> 00:17:28,691
(grunts)(screaming)
430
00:17:28,693 --> 00:17:36,666
Oh, shit.No, no, no, no. (grunts)
431
00:17:36,668 --> 00:17:38,935
Uh, this was a bad idea.We stirred up too much
432
00:17:38,937 --> 00:17:41,504
conflict.Yeah. It smells like smoke.
433
00:17:41,506 --> 00:17:43,506
Is something burning?I think it's coming from your
434
00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:48,010
room, dude.What?!
435
00:17:48,012 --> 00:17:50,179
My room's on fire.Why is my room on fire?
436
00:17:50,181 --> 00:17:52,181
I may have started a moneyfire.
437
00:17:52,183 --> 00:17:53,816
Why would you start a fire inmy room, Frank?
438
00:17:53,818 --> 00:17:55,885
I don't know, I don't know.We got to think, we got to
439
00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:57,954
think.Think, think.
440
00:17:57,956 --> 00:18:02,224
I've got an idea.(arguing in apartment)
441
00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:03,893
So we're just gonna lock themin there?
442
00:18:03,895 --> 00:18:05,895
They're definitely gonna burnto death.
443
00:18:05,897 --> 00:18:07,530
Okay, guys, nobody's gonnaburn, all right?
444
00:18:07,532 --> 00:18:09,532
There's a fire escape.We'll call 911. We just need to
445
00:18:09,534 --> 00:18:11,233
buy a little time so we can getthe hell out of here.
446
00:18:11,235 --> 00:18:13,235
I feel like we're justcreating more beef.
447
00:18:13,237 --> 00:18:15,504
Which we will not resolve.Beefs are best left simmering
448
00:18:15,506 --> 00:18:17,173
under the surface-- I've learnedthat now.
449
00:18:17,175 --> 00:18:19,175
The best thing to do with abeef is jam it deep down inside
450
00:18:19,177 --> 00:18:21,177
and then press forward.What are we gonna do now?
451
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:23,179
You know, we could just buyThundergun and go to a
452
00:18:23,181 --> 00:18:24,814
different Wawa.
Yeah, it's a little
453
00:18:24,816 --> 00:18:26,816
inconvenient, but it's better
than facing our problems.
454
00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:28,818
Yeah, or saying we're sorry,
which I'm not doing.
455
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,753
Hell, no, I don't do that.
All right, you want to go
456
00:18:30,755 --> 00:18:32,421
back to my place, get some
blankets, bundle up?
457
00:18:32,423 --> 00:18:34,557
Just us? No one else?
That's what I'm thankful for.
458
00:18:34,559 --> 00:18:36,559
We don't need to get along with
anybody else-- we got each
459
00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:38,194
other.
Yeah, screw everybody else.
460
00:18:38,196 --> 00:18:40,363
I hate people who are
different than me, you know?
461
00:18:40,365 --> 00:18:42,164
Why pretend?
(inside There's a fire
462
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,532
escape right here.
(glass shatters)
463
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:46,035
Fire escape.
Out the window.
464
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,514
(clamoring)
Who's got me? Man down.
465
00:18:48,634 --> 00:18:51,482
I right back here, guys.
Who's got me? Guys?
466
00:18:51,602 --> 00:18:54,911
Hello? Hello?
467
00:18:55,031 --> 00:19:05,401
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
468
00:19:05,451 --> 00:19:10,001
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39510
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