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1
00:00:04,481 --> 00:00:05,898
What are you guys doing after the show?
2
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,506
Modeling for a fucking art class?
3
00:00:07,531 --> 00:00:09,218
[BILL] Previously on
I'm Dying Up Here...
4
00:00:09,572 --> 00:00:11,031
What do you say you fill
in for me a couple days?
5
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,614
- Eh...
- My old lady's gonna
6
00:00:12,698 --> 00:00:14,698
fucking kill me if I don't
take a couple days off.
7
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,198
Nick, you're gonna love doing this.
8
00:00:16,281 --> 00:00:18,364
So basically, it's a game show sketch
9
00:00:18,447 --> 00:00:20,447
where white people try to convince us
10
00:00:20,531 --> 00:00:22,531
they've suffered just
as much as black folk.
11
00:00:22,614 --> 00:00:24,864
[BOTH YELL]
12
00:00:24,948 --> 00:00:26,656
What the fuck? It's just one day.
13
00:00:26,739 --> 00:00:29,115
We've been going non-stop ever
since this shit got picked up.
14
00:00:29,198 --> 00:00:32,196
- We shooting in four weeks!
- Four weeks, man.
15
00:00:32,656 --> 00:00:34,531
Come on, half of the sketches
are already written up.
16
00:00:34,614 --> 00:00:35,665
Really?
17
00:00:35,913 --> 00:00:37,531
You're telling me I
can't dig up enough money
18
00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:39,288
for my daughter's fucking tuition?
19
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,281
You think you're going to find happiness
20
00:00:41,364 --> 00:00:43,144
in this fucking business?
21
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,948
Want to do some blow before the wedding?
22
00:00:45,031 --> 00:00:47,683
[JAZZY MUSIC]
23
00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:48,683
?
24
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:49,945
Roy!
25
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:52,092
[GRUNTS]
26
00:00:52,626 --> 00:00:53,739
I got you.
27
00:00:53,823 --> 00:00:55,132
[BILL] She took a pile of shit tonight,
28
00:00:55,157 --> 00:00:56,279
and spun it into gold.
29
00:00:56,363 --> 00:00:57,905
All so she could plug her new club
30
00:00:57,988 --> 00:00:59,613
under the guise of this fucking fiasco.
31
00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:02,297
- Another place to perform.
- Yeah, for fucking free.
32
00:01:02,322 --> 00:01:03,530
It's a school, remember?
33
00:01:03,613 --> 00:01:05,488
It's a school that no
one's ever graduated from.
34
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:14,238
[JAZZY PERCUSSION]
35
00:01:15,079 --> 00:01:17,505
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:19,446
[LIGHTS BUZZ]
37
00:01:25,512 --> 00:01:27,701
[EXHALES]
38
00:01:38,905 --> 00:01:41,655
[LIGHT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]
39
00:01:41,738 --> 00:01:46,488
?
40
00:01:46,571 --> 00:01:50,546
It's, uh, 4:39 in the morning.
41
00:01:51,864 --> 00:01:52,989
In here with
42
00:01:53,073 --> 00:01:57,059
"Kenny in the Early AM."
43
00:01:57,865 --> 00:01:59,738
And this one goes out to all our
44
00:01:59,789 --> 00:02:02,627
early risers or late owls.
45
00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:05,964
[EXHALES]
46
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,211
- You're in early.
- Yeah.
47
00:02:12,236 --> 00:02:14,361
Well, the chick I'm crashing
with ran out of coffee.
48
00:02:17,261 --> 00:02:20,058
You know this is just temporary, right?
49
00:02:21,285 --> 00:02:23,995
Until they find a place they
can slot you permanently.
50
00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:25,360
[SNIFFS]
51
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,382
[LAUGHS]
52
00:02:28,039 --> 00:02:30,614
Are you fucking comforting me?
53
00:02:31,288 --> 00:02:33,022
Listen, bucko, you're
just a morning aberration
54
00:02:33,047 --> 00:02:34,444
like me getting 6 a.m. wood
55
00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:36,736
after dropping Quaaludes
the night before, okay?
56
00:02:36,819 --> 00:02:38,235
People are going to
get tired of your little
57
00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:40,903
Sylvia Plath bullshit,
and they are gonna want
58
00:02:40,985 --> 00:02:43,694
"Kenny in the AM" back
in morning drive time,
59
00:02:43,778 --> 00:02:46,400
and you can fucking count on it.
60
00:02:46,985 --> 00:02:48,653
You know, Kenny, KROQ's ad time has doubled
61
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,944
in the last month that I've
been doing this sad bastard shit.
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00:02:52,207 --> 00:02:53,568
So every week, I'm this much closer
63
00:02:53,653 --> 00:02:56,661
to being the number one
morning drive time show in LA.
64
00:02:57,963 --> 00:02:59,332
Shim sham!
65
00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:03,027
- That's trademarked, asshole!
- [NICK] Fuck off.
66
00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:06,527
?
67
00:03:06,611 --> 00:03:09,861
[MACHINE HUMS]
68
00:03:09,944 --> 00:03:13,861
[HUMMING INTENSIFIES]
69
00:03:17,277 --> 00:03:18,444
[LOUD BASS]
70
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:20,985
[GRUNTING]
71
00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:23,152
[TINNITUS RINGING]
72
00:03:33,569 --> 00:03:35,903
[LOW TONE POUNDS]
73
00:03:35,985 --> 00:03:38,653
Hello, and welcome to
"You Think You Got It Bad."
74
00:03:38,736 --> 00:03:40,569
America's game show
where white people compete
75
00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:43,550
to prove that they've suffered
just as much as black folk.
76
00:03:43,878 --> 00:03:46,211
I'm your host, Jimmy Jam Johnson.
77
00:03:46,295 --> 00:03:48,669
Now our first contestant
is a second generation
78
00:03:48,753 --> 00:03:52,461
Irish American by the
name of Colleen O'Hannahan.
79
00:03:52,544 --> 00:03:54,008
[ANGELIC HARP STRUMMING]
80
00:03:54,008 --> 00:03:56,050
Now, Colleen, it says here
that you're celebrating
81
00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:59,216
three years of marriage, and
that you're a mother of four.
82
00:03:59,487 --> 00:04:01,737
We're good Catholics, Jimmy,
and you can never have enough
83
00:04:01,821 --> 00:04:03,821
hungry mouths to feed, I always say.
84
00:04:03,904 --> 00:04:05,612
[ADAM] Nice, is your husband here too?
85
00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:07,427
No. He went to the pub with the kids.
86
00:04:07,469 --> 00:04:09,779
He'll pick me up after, God willing.
87
00:04:09,863 --> 00:04:13,279
Okay. Now, let's meet our defending champ.
88
00:04:13,362 --> 00:04:16,612
She's a single mother of
five. She works 50 hours a week
89
00:04:16,696 --> 00:04:18,154
- as a cashier at Sears...
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
90
00:04:18,237 --> 00:04:19,529
[ADAM] ...For minimum wage.
91
00:04:19,855 --> 00:04:21,897
She calls Watts Towers her home.
92
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:24,687
Make some noise for Shaquilla Jackson.
93
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:25,891
[ANGELIC HARP STRUMMING]
94
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,371
Now, Shaquilla, are you
ready to defend your title
95
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,599
of "You Think You Got It Bad"?
96
00:04:30,683 --> 00:04:31,917
Sure am, Jimmy.
97
00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:33,474
- Oof.
- Whoa, whoa, hey.
98
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,274
- Whew.
- You all right?
99
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:38,808
I'm fine, I just got shot on
the way to my car this morning.
100
00:04:38,891 --> 00:04:41,516
Shot, well, don't you think
you need some medical attention?
101
00:04:41,599 --> 00:04:43,362
Nah, the bullet went straight through.
102
00:04:43,387 --> 00:04:45,598
It didn't hit no major
organs, so let's play.
103
00:04:45,683 --> 00:04:49,182
That's the spirit! Let's
get this thing started.
104
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:52,655
Now, Colleen, why do you
think you've got it bad?
105
00:04:52,655 --> 00:04:54,113
My grandfather came to this country
106
00:04:54,196 --> 00:04:56,405
and faced terrible discrimination.
107
00:04:56,488 --> 00:04:58,204
There were signs posted everywhere
108
00:04:58,229 --> 00:05:00,400
that read "No Irish need apply".
109
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,251
Many was the night when
he went without eating.
110
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:06,232
Nice, nice. Shaquilla?
111
00:05:06,842 --> 00:05:08,376
My grandfather was lynched.
112
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,668
[WHISTLES]
113
00:05:09,752 --> 00:05:11,335
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to
114
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,751
give that one to Shaquilla. Ten points!
115
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,376
[BELLS DINGING]
116
00:05:15,712 --> 00:05:18,586
My grandmother had ten
hungry mouths to feed,
117
00:05:18,874 --> 00:05:20,958
and she had to take in sewing and mending
118
00:05:21,041 --> 00:05:24,026
other people's garments
in order to make ends meet.
119
00:05:24,919 --> 00:05:26,585
My grandmother was lynched.
120
00:05:26,707 --> 00:05:28,290
- Oh.
- The potato famine.
121
00:05:28,374 --> 00:05:29,793
Cousin lynched.
122
00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:32,290
Plague, and she can't
just keep saying "lynched."
123
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,916
- Slavery.
- Damn it!
124
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:36,241
And lynching, a whole lot of lynchin'.
125
00:05:36,791 --> 00:05:37,867
Colleen?
126
00:05:39,017 --> 00:05:40,600
- We sunburn easily.
- Ah.
127
00:05:41,352 --> 00:05:42,351
[BUZZER BLARES]
128
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,456
I'm sorry, Colleen, but you lose.
129
00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:45,999
[BELLS DINGING]
130
00:05:46,083 --> 00:05:48,415
But you still win, because you're walking
131
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:49,976
out of here a white person.
132
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,185
[BELLS DINGING]
133
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:54,473
Tune in next week, as
Shaquilla defends her title
134
00:05:54,498 --> 00:05:56,666
against Schlomo Weinbach from Queens.
135
00:05:56,749 --> 00:05:58,005
Bring on the Holocaust.
136
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,217
I'm your host, Jimmy Jam Johnson.
137
00:06:00,398 --> 00:06:02,326
Join me next week. I'll be right here.
138
00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,851
Unless I get pulled over, in which case,
139
00:06:04,885 --> 00:06:06,479
there will just be another black dude here
140
00:06:06,504 --> 00:06:08,088
that you'll probably still think is me.
141
00:06:08,113 --> 00:06:09,852
So good night, everybody!
142
00:06:09,877 --> 00:06:12,239
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
143
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,996
?
144
00:06:16,059 --> 00:06:17,129
[BELL RINGS]
145
00:06:17,154 --> 00:06:18,404
All right.
146
00:06:18,487 --> 00:06:20,570
[ALL LAUGH]
147
00:06:20,654 --> 00:06:22,060
That's money, baby!
148
00:06:22,696 --> 00:06:23,737
[APPLAUSE]
149
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:27,238
- That's some funny shit!
- That's really funny,
150
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,570
and some groundbreaking stuff.
Hey, Ralph, you got a minute?
151
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,737
Whoo! What's up, man?
152
00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:34,737
Oh, lynching, are you fuckin' crazy?
153
00:06:34,821 --> 00:06:36,416
Hey, we didn't come here to tiptoe.
154
00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:37,891
The network approve this sketch?
155
00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,641
Well, the network hasn't not approved it.
156
00:06:39,641 --> 00:06:41,095
They pretty much left us alone.
157
00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:43,845
Hey, the Redd Foxx negotiations
are taking all their focus,
158
00:06:43,929 --> 00:06:45,929
but eventually, they'll
turn their attention to this,
159
00:06:45,954 --> 00:06:48,195
and there's no way they're airing
a sketch about fucking lynching.
160
00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:49,496
It's satire.
161
00:06:49,798 --> 00:06:51,960
They told us they wanted outside the box.
162
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:53,101
Trust me.
163
00:06:53,242 --> 00:06:54,970
A niche audience of Black Panthers
164
00:06:55,054 --> 00:06:57,000
is not the demo advertisers
are clamoring for.
165
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,961
We need some crossover appeal.
166
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,612
So, put it back in the box?
167
00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:04,251
Either the box, or a coffin.
168
00:07:04,276 --> 00:07:05,567
Look, until the network says otherwise,
169
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,843
we're gonna stick to our vision,
170
00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:09,524
and make the best pilot we can.
171
00:07:11,019 --> 00:07:12,894
Every failure that's never seen
172
00:07:12,977 --> 00:07:14,602
the light of day was somebody's vision.
173
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,273
This might be your vision, Ralph.
174
00:07:16,986 --> 00:07:18,542
It is still their network.
175
00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:22,932
Really great, guys.
176
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,168
[PHONE RINGS]
177
00:07:27,842 --> 00:07:28,853
Goldie.
178
00:07:38,438 --> 00:07:39,673
Was anyone with him?
179
00:07:40,338 --> 00:07:41,929
- A comic, huh?
- [GRUNTS]
180
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,715
That's what the nurse said.
181
00:07:46,506 --> 00:07:47,769
- Hey.
- [GRUNTS]
182
00:07:47,852 --> 00:07:50,362
What are the three parts
of a wood burning stove?
183
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,973
- I don't know.
- Lift, the legs, and poker.
184
00:07:53,267 --> 00:07:55,440
- [LAUGHS]
- Come on, man.
185
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,977
They got lasagna in the commissary today.
186
00:08:06,438 --> 00:08:07,983
- Edgar.
- Yeah?
187
00:08:08,907 --> 00:08:10,984
- Fitzy passed.
- Ah, shit.
188
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:14,487
- I loved Fitz.
- Man was a legend.
189
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:16,602
I mean, it seemed like just yesterday,
190
00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,258
he was lying there, lifeless on the ground.
191
00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:21,120
Yeah. Anyway,
192
00:08:21,894 --> 00:08:23,941
I got to bow out of the Bakersfield show.
193
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:27,144
You can't bow out of Bakersfield.
194
00:08:27,227 --> 00:08:28,665
We're supposed to leave in three hours.
195
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,696
Goldie promised Fitzy an Irish wake.
196
00:08:30,936 --> 00:08:32,270
So it's tomorrow.
197
00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:34,557
What the hell is an Irish wake?
198
00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:36,356
You lie Fitzy on a table,
199
00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:38,373
and everyone drinks and
parties all around him.
200
00:08:38,732 --> 00:08:40,537
Haven't we already thrown
him a hundred of those?
201
00:08:41,149 --> 00:08:43,258
Anyway, I got to set it all up,
202
00:08:43,258 --> 00:08:45,399
so you're gonna have to find someone else.
203
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:46,612
Sorry, pal.
204
00:08:47,604 --> 00:08:49,018
Well, you're not gonna be hard to replace.
205
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:51,691
Hey, do you know a chimp
who rides a tricycle?
206
00:08:51,774 --> 00:08:54,190
- Okay.
- Maybe he smokes cigars
207
00:08:54,274 --> 00:08:55,587
out of his asshole...
208
00:08:57,039 --> 00:08:58,071
[KNOCKING SOUND]
209
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,691
Yeah, I could go to Bakersfield.
210
00:09:03,931 --> 00:09:06,878
Great, you'll be opening
for Edgar Martinez.
211
00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:08,490
Edgar Martinez.
212
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,563
[EDGAR] Yep, the show starts at 9 p.m.
213
00:09:11,537 --> 00:09:12,703
There's something you
should know about me, Mort.
214
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,119
Buddy, it's okay, Edgar already
told me, you're an asshole.
215
00:09:16,772 --> 00:09:18,890
I'm a kidder. What's on your mind?
216
00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:21,410
Me opening for Edgar
Martinez is like Pink Floyd
217
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:23,785
opening for Karen Carpenter, okay?
218
00:09:24,043 --> 00:09:26,985
I got the couch on Carson.
Edgar couldn't get the couch
219
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:28,601
from a place that sells couches.
220
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,580
- I headline.
- Edgar Martinez is a gold mine.
221
00:09:31,628 --> 00:09:33,894
Edgar Martinez is a national treasure.
222
00:09:33,976 --> 00:09:35,682
[BILL] Don't get me wrong, Mort, he's fine,
223
00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:37,309
but Edgar's like eating soup out of a can.
224
00:09:37,392 --> 00:09:39,184
I'm the full meal, okay?
225
00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:41,765
I headline, or find someone else.
226
00:09:47,706 --> 00:09:49,267
[ERNIE] And he gets the line in there.
227
00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:51,226
[LAUGHTER]
228
00:09:51,309 --> 00:09:52,976
Hey, you bringing the kids tomorrow?
229
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,684
Oh, they're still talking about last year's
230
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,935
make your own sundae bar. We'll be there.
231
00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:59,601
Hey, and don't start the ping
pong tournament without me.
232
00:09:59,684 --> 00:10:01,142
Oh, wouldn't think of it.
233
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,434
You're still going down, though.
234
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,808
Oh, we'll see about that.
235
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,142
So you're having a party, huh?
236
00:10:06,461 --> 00:10:09,392
Oh, daughter's birthday. She's turning 12.
237
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,388
You know, just having a few
people over, nothing fancy.
238
00:10:12,102 --> 00:10:14,893
- Aw, so who's not going?
- You, of course.
239
00:10:14,976 --> 00:10:16,392
- Mm-hmm.
- And the new guy
240
00:10:16,476 --> 00:10:18,768
from hair and makeup. He was invited.
241
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,534
His kid has the chicken pox, so.
242
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,018
You are really enjoying this, aren't you?
243
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,309
Oh, come on, man, I can't
say that not inviting you
244
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,134
isn't a perk of working with you, Ron.
245
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:32,142
Well, enjoy your weekend,
and fuck you and yours.
246
00:10:32,226 --> 00:10:33,976
Mm. [LAUGHS]
247
00:10:34,309 --> 00:10:36,101
Eat shit and die, you too.
248
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:44,518
I always come on Tuesdays,
Fridays, and Sundays.
249
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:45,851
It was Friday today.
250
00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:47,215
- [EXHALES]
- Yeah.
251
00:10:48,764 --> 00:10:50,851
How you doing? You feeling any better?
252
00:10:52,643 --> 00:10:54,763
It's not my favorite hotel.
253
00:10:55,142 --> 00:10:56,265
[LAUGHS]
254
00:10:56,518 --> 00:10:57,546
[GRUNTS]
255
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,476
We had some sad news.
256
00:11:02,702 --> 00:11:04,308
Good old Fitzy passed.
257
00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:09,559
- I work with him?
- Yeah, yeah, you know him.
258
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:10,694
Fitzy.
259
00:11:13,101 --> 00:11:14,399
When's he go up?
260
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,549
- Um...
- Hey, Goldie.
261
00:11:18,774 --> 00:11:21,046
Didn't realize this was a
dinner reservation for two.
262
00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,726
- Oh, hey, Dana.
- Who is that, who is that?
263
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:25,962
It's Dana, she's got your
food. It's Dana, with your food.
264
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,934
- Huh?
- Take it away, please.
265
00:11:29,351 --> 00:11:30,567
[ROY] Take it away.
266
00:11:31,684 --> 00:11:34,294
- I'm gonna close my eyes.
- Yeah, you do that.
267
00:11:35,101 --> 00:11:36,684
I'll just leave it here just in case
268
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:38,184
you get hungry later, okay?
269
00:11:39,192 --> 00:11:40,531
[EXHALES]
270
00:11:41,307 --> 00:11:43,349
Dana, could I have a word with you?
271
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,476
What are you doing here?
Trying to make him worse?
272
00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:48,719
It's like Cuckoo's Nest.
273
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,418
[DANA] Well, Roy's a little
sluggish after his therapy.
274
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,224
- Sluggish?
- Something is turning that man's brain
275
00:11:53,224 --> 00:11:54,625
into mashed potatoes.
276
00:11:55,659 --> 00:11:58,883
- He's not himself.
- Roy is himself.
277
00:11:59,516 --> 00:12:02,488
He's relaxed, he's calm,
he's taking his meds.
278
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,490
This is Roy getting healthy.
279
00:12:04,887 --> 00:12:07,100
[ROY] My brain may be fried,
280
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,744
but I can still fucking hear you.
281
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:11,677
I worry, is all.
282
00:12:12,975 --> 00:12:15,309
- [ROY] Well, don't.
- Oh.
283
00:12:15,391 --> 00:12:17,480
- I can worry, can't I?
- No, don't...
284
00:12:18,324 --> 00:12:19,683
Look at me like that.
285
00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:22,254
Look at you like what?
286
00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:26,962
I'm gonna make it to
the opening next month.
287
00:12:29,144 --> 00:12:30,935
We open in two weeks.
288
00:12:32,177 --> 00:12:34,433
Sweetheart, you've been
in here a month and a half.
289
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,975
Edgar, why do you need an apron to vacuum?
290
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:44,824
[EDGAR] Yeah, fuck off.
291
00:12:45,558 --> 00:12:47,018
What do you know about this
gig we're performing at?
292
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:50,107
It's in Bakersfield. What
else is there to know?
293
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,891
I don't know, I guess I'm just excited
294
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,834
to perform somewhere that isn't Goldie's.
295
00:12:55,337 --> 00:12:57,712
"Effective, not winning." Fuck her.
296
00:12:57,754 --> 00:12:59,129
It's hard to argue with the truth.
297
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,259
Fuck you.
298
00:13:01,938 --> 00:13:04,146
You really don't think
you're a dick, right?
299
00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:07,271
You have a whole bit about
dogs, and you hate dogs.
300
00:13:07,355 --> 00:13:11,132
You pissed on your own dad's
dog's grave, for fuck's sake.
301
00:13:11,271 --> 00:13:14,332
- You pissed on it, too.
- Yeah, but I had to go.
302
00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:17,964
There was no malice in my
piss. Yours was a revenge piss.
303
00:13:18,195 --> 00:13:19,688
And fucking, if that ain't being a dick,
304
00:13:19,772 --> 00:13:21,012
I don't know what a dick is.
305
00:13:21,772 --> 00:13:23,591
- Eh, it could be worse.
- How so?
306
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,183
I could be the guy opening up for a dick.
307
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:27,644
Come on.
308
00:13:28,929 --> 00:13:29,983
Fuck.
309
00:13:32,118 --> 00:13:33,659
- Registration in the car?
- Yeah.
310
00:13:33,742 --> 00:13:35,118
All right, when you come down...
311
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,987
[PHONE RINGING]
312
00:13:40,925 --> 00:13:41,964
Hello?
313
00:13:42,119 --> 00:13:43,700
[SARAH] What are you trying to do, Cass?
314
00:13:44,535 --> 00:13:45,643
Sarah, what...
315
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,244
[STAMMERING]
316
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,619
What's wrong?
317
00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:52,130
[SARAH] Your letter to Jesse.
318
00:13:52,155 --> 00:13:54,880
You promised to take him
to Disneyland next summer?
319
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,596
Yeah, well, I would love to.
320
00:13:56,596 --> 00:13:59,119
I think it would be really nice
to have some one-on-one time
321
00:13:59,203 --> 00:14:01,966
and go on some rides and have some fun.
322
00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:04,203
[SARAH] Funny how you never
promised to take the girls
323
00:14:04,286 --> 00:14:06,616
to Disneyland, which Jesse pointed out,
324
00:14:06,616 --> 00:14:09,317
as he shot them at dinner
with the gun you got him.
325
00:14:09,374 --> 00:14:11,575
- [SARAH] That was my night.
- Sorry.
326
00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:14,036
[SARAH] It isn't funny, Cass.
Not everything is a joke.
327
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,241
What were you thinking?
328
00:14:15,837 --> 00:14:16,875
[EXHALES]
329
00:14:17,212 --> 00:14:19,015
I... that it would be
330
00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:23,697
nice for him to spend time with me,
331
00:14:24,379 --> 00:14:26,159
and for us to have some fun.
332
00:14:26,577 --> 00:14:27,636
As what?
333
00:14:28,238 --> 00:14:30,368
Let me answer that for you, as an aunt.
334
00:14:30,572 --> 00:14:32,614
Like Winnie and Paula know you, as an aunt.
335
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,082
We both know I'm more than that.
336
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:36,103
[SARAH] No, we don't.
337
00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,864
Ever since the wedding,
soon as things don't go well
338
00:14:38,948 --> 00:14:40,572
for you in LA, you start looking to Jesse
339
00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,364
to give some meaning to your life.
340
00:14:42,447 --> 00:14:44,850
- That's not what I'm doing.
- [SARAH] What do you want?
341
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,198
You can't have him back. You
can't tell him who you are.
342
00:14:48,223 --> 00:14:50,307
So what's your game plan here, Cass?
343
00:14:50,332 --> 00:14:52,724
- I wouldn't tell him.
- I'm not buying that.
344
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:56,589
I just... I think it's best
that you leave us alone.
345
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,770
Wait, so you don't even
want me to call you?
346
00:15:00,058 --> 00:15:02,364
Look, your choices are
turning my home upside down,
347
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:04,815
and I won't have it,
so either you stop being
348
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,583
so damn selfish, or
leave us the hell alone.
349
00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:09,307
[PHONE CLICKS]
350
00:15:15,554 --> 00:15:17,489
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
351
00:15:17,572 --> 00:15:20,000
All right, all right, let's
get this show started, huh?
352
00:15:20,025 --> 00:15:22,197
Bakersfield, how you doing tonight?
353
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,739
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
354
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:28,114
Okay, keep it going
for your, uh, bartender,
355
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:30,893
because that's who I know
you really came to see, huh?
356
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:35,697
Who here likes tequila? I love tequila.
357
00:15:35,781 --> 00:15:38,564
But guess what? Tequila does not love me.
358
00:15:38,822 --> 00:15:40,822
I drank so much tequila the other night,
359
00:15:41,295 --> 00:15:43,505
that I blacked out, right?
360
00:15:44,031 --> 00:15:47,989
And then I woke up, and I was
so scared about the blackout,
361
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,656
that I ran and grabbed my friends,
362
00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:51,489
and I told them how scary the blackout was,
363
00:15:51,572 --> 00:15:52,722
and then I realized
364
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,988
I was already in another blackout.
365
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:58,411
- That's funny because...
- Get off the stage, beaner!
366
00:16:00,697 --> 00:16:01,762
You know what?
367
00:16:07,322 --> 00:16:10,948
I might. I think I actually
will get off the stage.
368
00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,965
Ha ha, because that's my
time! Thank you very much.
369
00:16:14,198 --> 00:16:17,280
All right, you guys
ready for your headliner?
370
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:19,781
Uh, this next guy, you
may have seen on Carson,
371
00:16:19,864 --> 00:16:22,614
if you were taking time
out from your busy schedules
372
00:16:22,697 --> 00:16:24,447
of burying people in the desert
373
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:27,063
and punching old ladies in the vagina.
374
00:16:27,088 --> 00:16:28,655
Whatever you guys do for fun.
375
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:30,948
Big round of applause for Bill Hobbs!
376
00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:32,142
Let him hear it!
377
00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,704
All right, got them warmed up
for you, headliner, enjoy it.
378
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,312
You had 20 more fucking minutes, asshole.
379
00:16:38,385 --> 00:16:41,037
Hey, uh, one more time for, uh,
380
00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:42,762
Edgar Martinez.
381
00:16:42,822 --> 00:16:44,312
Edgar Martinez, huh?
382
00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:47,989
So I'm, uh, not married,
I don't have any kids, uh...
383
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:49,530
Maybe one day, you know?
384
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,197
Come on, guys, it's a good one.
385
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,530
Uh, dogs have it right,
don't you guys think
386
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,405
they've got the right idea?
387
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:56,239
- All right.
- Not all right.
388
00:16:56,321 --> 00:16:58,738
Uh, they'll sniff... uh,
sniff at each other's asses...
389
00:16:58,822 --> 00:16:59,837
Cheers, yeah!
390
00:16:59,862 --> 00:17:01,363
The mouth on this motherfucker.
391
00:17:01,446 --> 00:17:04,856
Hey, mister, uh, 187. Yeah, you.
392
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:07,904
Is that what it says on your little badge?
393
00:17:08,414 --> 00:17:10,706
Why don't you serve me one
of those fucking beers, huh?
394
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:13,137
What do you say? Yeah, no?
395
00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:15,030
I'm talking to you, looking right at you,
396
00:17:15,055 --> 00:17:18,232
and your motley crew of
out-of-work mall Santas there.
397
00:17:18,822 --> 00:17:20,441
I'm thirsty, I'm quite parched from
398
00:17:21,072 --> 00:17:22,655
making my way all across California
399
00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:24,511
to get up here to Shitsville, USA.
400
00:17:24,512 --> 00:17:26,470
This your, uh, your gang of buddies
401
00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:28,178
- that you're with, there, huh?
- [INAUDIBLE]
402
00:17:28,371 --> 00:17:30,235
It's a cute little gang. I like your vests.
403
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,565
I like those a lot, you know?
404
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:34,663
Got little merit badges, like Girl Scouts.
405
00:17:34,747 --> 00:17:37,562
You know, what is that,
you got one stab, one rape,
406
00:17:37,955 --> 00:17:39,496
and then one sewing, that's good.
407
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:41,338
Like, somebody had to
make those, I guess, right?
408
00:17:41,705 --> 00:17:43,061
Good for you guys, man.
409
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:45,175
Hey, nothing says straight male other than
410
00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:48,496
riding around on a bicycle with
other men in matching outfits.
411
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,705
That's not a gay thing to do, whatsoever.
412
00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:52,036
You guys are guys, huh?
413
00:17:52,061 --> 00:17:53,857
You put your penises in women, don't you?
414
00:17:54,138 --> 00:17:56,180
Beautiful women, women that
look like catcher's mitt's.
415
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,496
What's the name of your
little, uh, your gang?
416
00:17:59,063 --> 00:18:00,647
- Satan's Hounds, asshole.
- Mm-hmm.
417
00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:03,824
Satan's Hound's Asshole. Okay, wow.
418
00:18:03,824 --> 00:18:06,955
The asshole of a hound.
Satan's Hound's Asshole.
419
00:18:07,247 --> 00:18:10,520
So you guys are inside
Satan's dog's butthole.
420
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,573
Wow, that's hotter than
hot, I would imagine, right?
421
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:14,883
[LAUGHS]
422
00:18:15,447 --> 00:18:16,866
I'm sure you guys came in on a bus, too,
423
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:18,152
except yours was short, wasn't it?
424
00:18:18,152 --> 00:18:19,842
Especially you, with that wonky eye.
425
00:18:20,304 --> 00:18:22,821
- Sir, it's just a comedy show.
- Excuse me, can we get paid?
426
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:24,853
Bunch of fucking mall
Santas sitting around.
427
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,038
What do you guys do in the off-season?
428
00:18:26,122 --> 00:18:27,205
You fuck the elves?
429
00:18:27,288 --> 00:18:29,246
If I could just get the
money now, that'd be great.
430
00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:31,515
You know who I am, Mr. 187?
431
00:18:32,854 --> 00:18:35,155
Papa 187, I'm your
fucking dad. That's right.
432
00:18:35,871 --> 00:18:38,577
Because I threw my hog,
right here, inside your mom.
433
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,286
I just went out and stuck it inside of her.
434
00:18:40,311 --> 00:18:41,996
I slid it in, and I let it soak, baby.
435
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,336
It glowed when it was inside of her.
436
00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:45,619
It was unbelievable. It's
orange, and see-through.
437
00:18:45,619 --> 00:18:46,825
But inside of your mom?
438
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,658
[INTENSE VIBRATING SOUND]
439
00:18:48,742 --> 00:18:50,124
Could see it for miles, like a lighthouse.
440
00:18:50,149 --> 00:18:51,718
I swam inside, and you came out.
441
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,742
We're not happy, but I got
to tell you, I'll take it.
442
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,858
Son, why don't you give Daddy a beer?
443
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:11,522
[LAUGHTER]
444
00:19:17,784 --> 00:19:20,533
Holy shit, holy shit.
445
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,408
Yeah, right on.
446
00:19:24,034 --> 00:19:25,982
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
447
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,095
Hey, to Satan's Hound's Assholes!
448
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,158
Yeah!
449
00:19:32,241 --> 00:19:33,658
Fuckin' A, Bakersfield!
450
00:19:34,784 --> 00:19:36,085
Yes!
451
00:19:36,795 --> 00:19:38,143
Why would you want to cut the sketch?
452
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,910
I didn't say cut all of
it. Just trim it a little.
453
00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:44,665
- Like what?
- The lynching references.
454
00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:46,960
Oh, come on, man, you
ain't just trying to trim.
455
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,541
You pulling fucking teeth.
456
00:19:48,623 --> 00:19:50,082
Do you want this show on the air?
457
00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:51,979
- You know I do.
- Then listen to me.
458
00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:54,374
Sponsors ain't gonna spend dime one
459
00:19:54,399 --> 00:19:56,220
on a show making reference to lynching.
460
00:19:57,790 --> 00:19:59,600
White people find lynching offensive?
461
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:00,665
Basically.
462
00:20:00,749 --> 00:20:02,415
Wasn't the time for
them to find it offensive
463
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,779
when they was doing the shit?
464
00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:06,734
Adam, I don't disagree with you.
465
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:10,523
But look, let's get the show on the air.
466
00:20:10,707 --> 00:20:13,921
Then we'll make our stand.
We got to be smart right now.
467
00:20:14,435 --> 00:20:15,754
Pick our fights.
468
00:20:19,457 --> 00:20:22,167
Hey, you trust me, right?
469
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:25,201
You know I trust you.
470
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,021
All right.
471
00:20:29,782 --> 00:20:31,457
So what's as equally as fucked up,
472
00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:32,790
but not offensive to whitey?
473
00:20:33,575 --> 00:20:36,282
That's the challenge,
Adam. That is the challenge.
474
00:20:38,373 --> 00:20:40,627
You know 187 is the California
475
00:20:40,652 --> 00:20:42,839
penal code for murder, right?
476
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,874
Yeah, well, that's pretty appropriate,
477
00:20:44,957 --> 00:20:48,124
because that's exactly what
I did inside of there, Edgar.
478
00:20:48,207 --> 00:20:50,934
I fucking murdered.
479
00:20:51,231 --> 00:20:52,721
- Yeah.
- Hey, Daddy 187.
480
00:20:53,659 --> 00:20:54,668
Hey.
481
00:20:55,362 --> 00:20:56,727
Be cool, Edgar.
482
00:21:00,749 --> 00:21:01,929
What's with him?
483
00:21:02,363 --> 00:21:04,587
Nothing, that's just, uh,
where he keeps his spine.
484
00:21:05,755 --> 00:21:06,917
[LAUGHS]
485
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,707
- You a funny motherfucker.
- Thanks, man.
486
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,373
Hey, if you guys are ever in LA,
487
00:21:11,457 --> 00:21:13,207
I'm always at Goldie's on the Sunset Strip,
488
00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:15,275
so call the club, I'll get you comped.
489
00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:18,320
Fuck yeah, we're always in LA.
Definitely take you up on that.
490
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,333
Right on, thanks for being so cool.
491
00:21:21,454 --> 00:21:23,023
About that being so cool part.
492
00:21:24,332 --> 00:21:25,707
You got me pretty good in there,
493
00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:27,498
and I got a reputation to uphold.
494
00:21:27,582 --> 00:21:29,043
So I'm gonna kind of have to hurt you.
495
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:32,624
- Kinda hurt me?
- Yeah.
496
00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:36,064
Like on a scale of one to ten?
497
00:21:36,790 --> 00:21:38,212
Probably a nine, or death.
498
00:21:38,825 --> 00:21:41,295
But I like you, so I think
a seven should cover it.
499
00:21:45,816 --> 00:21:48,649
Any chance of getting that
reduced to like, a five?
500
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,011
[GRUNTS]
501
00:21:53,373 --> 00:21:54,402
Wait, wait, wait...
502
00:21:54,427 --> 00:21:57,957
[GRUNTING]
503
00:22:00,490 --> 00:22:01,915
[BILL] Come on, man, okay...
504
00:22:05,918 --> 00:22:07,371
Somebody help him!
505
00:22:10,714 --> 00:22:12,102
Whoa, whoa, whoa, mall Santas!
506
00:22:12,127 --> 00:22:13,208
[LAUGHTER]
507
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:15,371
Mall Santas! I love that.
508
00:22:15,396 --> 00:22:16,395
[LAUGHTER]
509
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:18,099
That kills me every time.
510
00:22:19,832 --> 00:22:22,124
[LAUGHTER]
511
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:23,555
We'll see you in LA.
512
00:22:32,175 --> 00:22:33,286
[GRUNTS]
513
00:22:33,665 --> 00:22:34,951
So now you help, huh?
514
00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:37,537
Right, because I'm gonna be a human pi�ata
515
00:22:37,537 --> 00:22:39,368
'cause you can't read an
audience that can't read?
516
00:22:40,654 --> 00:22:42,496
And besides, why should I help somebody
517
00:22:42,579 --> 00:22:44,829
who thinks I'm Karen Carpenter, right?
518
00:22:44,913 --> 00:22:47,097
Who has a beautiful voice, by the way.
519
00:22:47,585 --> 00:22:49,823
Yeah, what, to your Pink
Floyd? Is that what you said?
520
00:22:50,294 --> 00:22:51,469
Mort told you that?
521
00:22:52,919 --> 00:22:55,225
- It might have come up.
- Motherfucker.
522
00:22:56,244 --> 00:22:57,269
What kind of booker...
523
00:22:57,269 --> 00:22:58,353
I'm gonna kick that guys' ass.
524
00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:02,267
Yeah, no, you can't, 'cause he's old.
525
00:23:02,292 --> 00:23:03,852
Do you know where his office is?
526
00:23:03,937 --> 00:23:06,455
You have bruised ribs.
You're not going anywhere.
527
00:23:06,493 --> 00:23:09,526
You practically cried
when you farted in the car.
528
00:23:09,551 --> 00:23:11,432
- For him to tell you that...
- I'm Mort.
529
00:23:13,673 --> 00:23:15,605
- What?
- I'm Mort.
530
00:23:19,237 --> 00:23:20,313
It's me.
531
00:23:21,523 --> 00:23:22,737
I've been doing the voice.
532
00:23:23,478 --> 00:23:25,937
Well, it's me and Arnie.
He shares it with me.
533
00:23:26,153 --> 00:23:29,352
Because we started getting
calls from club owners,
534
00:23:29,436 --> 00:23:31,770
and we knew Goldie wouldn't
let us book ourselves,
535
00:23:31,853 --> 00:23:33,495
so I became Mort.
536
00:23:34,110 --> 00:23:37,082
And we got a lot of gigs,
and had to expand our stable.
537
00:23:38,004 --> 00:23:39,401
So Mort's ten percent?
538
00:23:41,053 --> 00:23:44,650
Which, you can keep Mort's
ten percent, that's yours.
539
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,403
No, fuck it, you deserve it.
540
00:23:47,190 --> 00:23:49,129
You got me work, Edgar.
That's what a booker does.
541
00:23:50,269 --> 00:23:52,370
So you're not gonna tell Goldie?
542
00:23:52,395 --> 00:23:53,411
Fucking Goldie?
543
00:23:53,411 --> 00:23:54,843
Why the fuck would I tell Goldie?
544
00:23:55,286 --> 00:23:56,746
It's... some shit gig in Bakersfield
545
00:23:56,746 --> 00:23:58,380
has the money to pay us, but she doesn't?
546
00:23:58,829 --> 00:23:59,885
[GRUNTS]
547
00:23:59,885 --> 00:24:01,204
And then she thinks she can tell us
548
00:24:01,287 --> 00:24:02,412
what we can and can't do?
549
00:24:02,495 --> 00:24:03,546
Yeah.
550
00:24:04,211 --> 00:24:05,698
Fuck Goldie, Edgar.
551
00:24:06,995 --> 00:24:09,456
So you... You didn't mean what you said?
552
00:24:09,456 --> 00:24:11,705
The Karen Carpenter thing?
553
00:24:14,273 --> 00:24:15,284
I'm sorry.
554
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,970
You know I didn't mean it, I...
555
00:24:19,121 --> 00:24:20,866
I just wanted to headline, man.
556
00:24:21,579 --> 00:24:23,227
It's been such a shit year.
557
00:24:25,246 --> 00:24:26,584
Maybe I am just a dick.
558
00:24:27,621 --> 00:24:28,927
I wouldn't call you that.
559
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:30,577
You call me a dick all the time.
560
00:24:31,342 --> 00:24:33,738
- I do?
- Yeah, a lot.
561
00:24:36,617 --> 00:24:37,710
I just...
562
00:24:38,163 --> 00:24:41,662
I just think, onstage, that
you're trying to be the hero,
563
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:43,250
but maybe you're the villain.
564
00:24:44,157 --> 00:24:45,886
Because the villain murdered last night.
565
00:24:48,829 --> 00:24:50,032
I'm gonna get some ice.
566
00:24:57,838 --> 00:24:58,913
[WHISTLES]
567
00:24:58,996 --> 00:25:00,118
[KNOCKS]
568
00:25:01,454 --> 00:25:03,353
You here to tell me about a home loan?
569
00:25:03,407 --> 00:25:05,990
Ah, Fitzy's wake in an hour. Get dressed.
570
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:07,454
You know, my ex-wife gave me this...
571
00:25:07,537 --> 00:25:08,829
Can we call her Trudy, please?
572
00:25:08,913 --> 00:25:11,126
Because she said that I reminded her
573
00:25:11,370 --> 00:25:12,825
of Jonathan Livingston Seagull?
574
00:25:12,850 --> 00:25:15,286
A bird who flew higher
than all the other birds.
575
00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:16,960
I'm hooked.
576
00:25:17,185 --> 00:25:18,934
Why don't you tell me
more on the car ride over?
577
00:25:19,871 --> 00:25:21,010
Man, I...
578
00:25:21,190 --> 00:25:23,038
I don't think I'm up for a wake right now.
579
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:24,538
[EDDIE] Ah, come on.
580
00:25:25,204 --> 00:25:27,388
We'll get hammered and pay our respects.
581
00:25:27,746 --> 00:25:28,887
[LAUGHS]
582
00:25:29,682 --> 00:25:31,691
- I guess.
- [EDDIE] Great.
583
00:25:32,204 --> 00:25:34,329
So why doesn't Jonathan Livingston Seagull
584
00:25:34,412 --> 00:25:36,448
take a little shower, and
I'll meet you upstairs.
585
00:25:39,834 --> 00:25:41,212
Eddie, what do you think of me?
586
00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,208
What do you mean, what do I think of you?
587
00:25:45,584 --> 00:25:47,877
I mean, like, you know,
588
00:25:47,877 --> 00:25:50,630
I know... I know that you're
my best friend, and that, um...
589
00:25:53,282 --> 00:25:55,335
What do you... what do
you really think of me?
590
00:25:56,423 --> 00:25:57,519
Hm.
591
00:25:57,918 --> 00:26:00,660
Well, I think you're a great guy...
592
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:03,544
Who could use a shower.
593
00:26:04,372 --> 00:26:06,477
It smells like a cholera
outbreak down here.
594
00:26:07,584 --> 00:26:08,717
Yeah.
595
00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:10,787
All right, I'll see you in a minute.
596
00:26:14,210 --> 00:26:15,387
Seriously, Ron.
597
00:26:18,557 --> 00:26:19,808
You're a great guy.
598
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:29,085
[SOFT MUSIC]
599
00:26:29,168 --> 00:26:34,085
?
600
00:26:47,353 --> 00:26:49,335
- Look what I found!
- Oh, shit!
601
00:26:49,417 --> 00:26:52,210
[CHEERS]
602
00:26:52,293 --> 00:26:54,168
What the fuck are you doing here?
603
00:26:54,251 --> 00:26:56,483
- We already had your wake.
- It's so weird to be back.
604
00:26:56,508 --> 00:26:58,578
It's like I'm visiting junior high school.
605
00:26:58,578 --> 00:26:59,919
Everything is smaller, except Ralph.
606
00:26:59,919 --> 00:27:01,645
- Fuck you.
- Ah, Sull!
607
00:27:01,670 --> 00:27:03,804
It's good to see you
almost still have it, bud.
608
00:27:03,868 --> 00:27:05,181
Why does Fitzy look better than Bill?
609
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:07,434
Road gig, Bakersfield. Not
the sleepy town you think.
610
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,835
Oh, I'm sorry I missed your comedy special,
611
00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:09,993
but I had to blink.
612
00:27:10,018 --> 00:27:11,392
I am so sick of that excuse.
613
00:27:11,475 --> 00:27:12,392
[LAUGHTER]
614
00:27:13,355 --> 00:27:15,059
- Hi.
- Sully!
615
00:27:15,143 --> 00:27:16,517
I would have come sooner.
616
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:17,809
Who knew Fitzy would hang on so long?
617
00:27:17,893 --> 00:27:19,809
Oh, yeah. Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
618
00:27:19,893 --> 00:27:21,962
Open bar in honor of Fitz.
619
00:27:22,327 --> 00:27:24,303
Let's get this wake started.
620
00:27:24,303 --> 00:27:25,934
Who wants to make a toast, anyone?
621
00:27:25,959 --> 00:27:26,962
[ADAM] Oh, me.
622
00:27:27,288 --> 00:27:28,365
Uh...
623
00:27:28,623 --> 00:27:31,434
To Fitzy, Goldie's would never be the same
624
00:27:31,517 --> 00:27:33,225
without an alcoholic hack
625
00:27:33,250 --> 00:27:35,667
that never wrote any jokes, you know?
626
00:27:35,809 --> 00:27:36,976
Oh, Ron, hey!
627
00:27:37,059 --> 00:27:38,726
[LAUGHTER]
628
00:27:38,809 --> 00:27:41,317
Hey, to Fitzy's favorite thing: booze.
629
00:27:41,653 --> 00:27:43,159
The coroner report said his liver
630
00:27:43,184 --> 00:27:46,059
was so black and damaged,
Nick fucked it in my bed.
631
00:27:46,143 --> 00:27:47,225
[GROANS]
632
00:27:47,309 --> 00:27:48,559
Wow, you still ain't over that?
633
00:27:48,642 --> 00:27:50,184
No, and I never will be.
634
00:27:50,267 --> 00:27:51,684
On the one side, you got to see my balls
635
00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:53,893
without having to lift up the
sheet while I was asleep, so.
636
00:27:53,918 --> 00:27:55,623
I did like that. That I liked, really.
637
00:27:55,648 --> 00:27:57,976
All right, if all the comedians
could raise their glass,
638
00:27:58,252 --> 00:28:00,408
and just remember that it doesn't
639
00:28:00,433 --> 00:28:01,768
end well for a lot of us.
640
00:28:01,924 --> 00:28:04,169
I mean, there's suicide,
there's alcoholism,
641
00:28:04,194 --> 00:28:05,448
there's the drugs.
642
00:28:05,675 --> 00:28:07,794
All right, and there's
even the more grisly deaths
643
00:28:07,819 --> 00:28:09,611
- that we rarely talk about.
- Yeah.
644
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,044
Like the ones that Nick suffers onstage
645
00:28:12,127 --> 00:28:13,543
every time he walks up there.
646
00:28:13,627 --> 00:28:15,086
Yeah, fuck you.
647
00:28:15,169 --> 00:28:18,303
Let's stop focusing on Fitzy's drinking,
648
00:28:18,304 --> 00:28:20,794
and his passing out and wetting himself.
649
00:28:20,819 --> 00:28:22,311
That would be unfair.
650
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:24,908
It would be like focusing on Ron's acting.
651
00:28:24,908 --> 00:28:26,488
[CLAMORING]
652
00:28:26,543 --> 00:28:29,000
Or, wait, Cassie's choice in men.
653
00:28:29,228 --> 00:28:31,603
Hey, Fitzy really was the best lay.
654
00:28:31,628 --> 00:28:33,230
Or Goldie's payroll!
655
00:28:33,290 --> 00:28:35,827
[CLAMORING]
656
00:28:35,827 --> 00:28:39,670
To Fitzy, he died without
money, fame, dignity,
657
00:28:39,670 --> 00:28:41,799
but he paved the way for
many countless comics,
658
00:28:41,799 --> 00:28:43,336
and by countless, I mean Arnie and Edgar.
659
00:28:43,418 --> 00:28:46,804
Hold on, hold on, my
turn, my turn, all right?
660
00:28:48,044 --> 00:28:49,794
You know, we give Fitzy shit,
661
00:28:50,681 --> 00:28:51,973
but he was a great comic.
662
00:28:52,543 --> 00:28:55,808
In fact, the only job he
didn't excel at was pool boy.
663
00:28:59,252 --> 00:29:02,877
[CONFUSED CLAMORING]
664
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,585
Well, Ron's party killed him, right?
665
00:29:04,610 --> 00:29:05,965
Fuck you, okay? I didn't kill him.
666
00:29:05,990 --> 00:29:07,472
I was trying to save his life.
667
00:29:07,472 --> 00:29:10,668
Hey, Ron, you know, drinking
whiskey out of a coconut,
668
00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:12,373
that's not a cure for alcoholism, right?
669
00:29:12,373 --> 00:29:14,485
You know about that?
It's not gonna work, yeah.
670
00:29:14,510 --> 00:29:17,998
All right, all right, okay,
okay, everybody, settle down.
671
00:29:17,998 --> 00:29:20,580
Four years ago, when Fitzy
had his first heart attack,
672
00:29:20,580 --> 00:29:22,877
he wrote this will, and I have had it
673
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,377
in my office ever since.
674
00:29:24,460 --> 00:29:25,960
[TRADITIONAL IRISH MUSIC]
675
00:29:26,540 --> 00:29:29,011
I, James Seamus Fitzpatrick...
676
00:29:29,012 --> 00:29:31,104
[FITZY] Being of sound mind and body...
677
00:29:31,659 --> 00:29:34,324
Actually, I'm drunk, and
fat, but nevertheless,
678
00:29:34,555 --> 00:29:38,086
hereby bequeath to Edgar
all of my Mexican jokes,
679
00:29:38,111 --> 00:29:40,569
including "Where do Mexican girls go
680
00:29:40,594 --> 00:29:42,053
to pray during the week?"
681
00:29:42,418 --> 00:29:43,864
ALL: Planned Parenthood.
682
00:29:43,889 --> 00:29:45,712
[FITZY] That's right, you got it, finally.
683
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,054
And what do you call a Mexican hitchhiker?
684
00:29:48,079 --> 00:29:49,710
- [ALL] Stranded.
- [FITZY] And now,
685
00:29:49,794 --> 00:29:51,672
my Dictaphone joke,
I'm taking to the grave.
686
00:29:51,672 --> 00:29:54,758
Sorry, assholes, write your
own surefire punchlines.
687
00:29:55,030 --> 00:29:57,640
And to Goldie, thanks for giving me a home.
688
00:29:58,201 --> 00:29:59,539
Yours would have been nicer.
689
00:29:59,539 --> 00:30:01,776
Eh, could have used a working shower.
690
00:30:01,777 --> 00:30:03,966
But I had a home onstage, and for that,
691
00:30:04,291 --> 00:30:06,133
I will be forever grateful.
692
00:30:07,663 --> 00:30:08,892
I also have a confession.
693
00:30:08,892 --> 00:30:11,421
I've been in love with Gina,
the waitress from Canter's
694
00:30:11,421 --> 00:30:13,686
but never had the nerve to ask her out.
695
00:30:13,969 --> 00:30:15,790
I never had one to ask her in, either.
696
00:30:16,075 --> 00:30:19,366
So unless she's, uh, the one
reading this, I never did.
697
00:30:19,632 --> 00:30:22,832
Maybe I'll ask her out in
heaven, I'll play it by ear.
698
00:30:23,004 --> 00:30:24,244
A man comes into my office, he says,
699
00:30:24,269 --> 00:30:25,550
can I use your Dictaphone?
700
00:30:25,575 --> 00:30:29,349
I say no, you use your
finger like everybody else.
701
00:30:29,616 --> 00:30:32,741
[CHEERING]
702
00:30:42,258 --> 00:30:44,564
- I know you don't want to hear it...
- Then don't say it.
703
00:30:44,589 --> 00:30:48,499
But I want to tell you that I am sorry.
704
00:30:49,324 --> 00:30:51,000
And I know it doesn't fix anything,
705
00:30:51,025 --> 00:30:52,825
and it doesn't make anything better,
706
00:30:54,153 --> 00:30:56,950
but I really am truly sorry.
707
00:30:57,033 --> 00:30:59,324
Thanks, but I'm already
attending a wake, you know?
708
00:31:02,783 --> 00:31:04,241
We got to talk about this.
709
00:31:04,324 --> 00:31:06,491
I mean, are we ever gonna talk about this?
710
00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:08,979
Me, no. You, apparently, yes.
711
00:31:09,324 --> 00:31:11,765
Eddie, I love you, and I know...
712
00:31:11,765 --> 00:31:15,571
Can you just... can you stop
with the free food for one second?
713
00:31:16,992 --> 00:31:18,200
[DEEP BREATH]
714
00:31:18,616 --> 00:31:21,078
I love you, and I know that I hurt you.
715
00:31:21,616 --> 00:31:23,793
And I just want us to talk about it...
716
00:31:23,818 --> 00:31:25,081
Stop, Cass.
717
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:28,817
This is not a bump in the road, okay?
718
00:31:29,325 --> 00:31:31,518
You fucked Nick, a friend.
719
00:31:33,023 --> 00:31:34,606
There is no getting past that.
720
00:31:40,046 --> 00:31:42,023
- [SULLY] Hey!
- [RALPH] Hey!
721
00:31:42,664 --> 00:31:44,318
- Hello.
- Welcome.
722
00:31:44,781 --> 00:31:45,827
[LAUGHS]
723
00:31:45,947 --> 00:31:47,357
- Hi.
- You all right?
724
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,304
- You all right?
- Yeah, man, I'm fine.
725
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,606
I didn't like that motherfucker anyway.
726
00:31:51,631 --> 00:31:54,131
[LAUGHTER]
727
00:31:54,156 --> 00:31:55,277
Married?
728
00:31:55,613 --> 00:31:58,343
Well, that's kind of a
strong word for what it was.
729
00:31:58,343 --> 00:32:01,177
It was more of a catered fire drill.
730
00:32:01,177 --> 00:32:02,510
[BOTH LAUGH]
731
00:32:04,412 --> 00:32:05,871
I can't tell you how good it is to see you.
732
00:32:05,954 --> 00:32:07,167
Me too.
733
00:32:07,167 --> 00:32:09,495
Though I do watch you all
the time on Watts Local.
734
00:32:09,579 --> 00:32:11,434
Ugh, my catchphrase.
735
00:32:12,194 --> 00:32:14,346
You could describe my
whole character on a mug.
736
00:32:14,371 --> 00:32:15,488
I hate it.
737
00:32:16,465 --> 00:32:17,511
Ronnie.
738
00:32:18,393 --> 00:32:22,182
I've been reading this book,
um, it's about... a bird.
739
00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:24,504
I mean, the book is
about wanting to do more,
740
00:32:24,504 --> 00:32:26,587
like, be more, and how that can make
741
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:27,841
other people around you hate you.
742
00:32:27,866 --> 00:32:29,253
Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
743
00:32:29,449 --> 00:32:31,836
- Yeah, that's the book.
- "The speed was power."
744
00:32:31,861 --> 00:32:34,115
The speed was joy. The
speed was pure beauty."
745
00:32:35,343 --> 00:32:36,786
Well, I haven't read the whole thing yet,
746
00:32:36,811 --> 00:32:38,228
but I think I'm coming up on that part.
747
00:32:38,253 --> 00:32:41,102
Um, right now, it's a lot of soaring.
748
00:32:41,862 --> 00:32:43,409
It's my favorite book
in the whole, wide world.
749
00:32:43,434 --> 00:32:47,004
Jonathan Livingston Seagull is
why I'm in acupuncture school.
750
00:32:47,004 --> 00:32:48,920
Oh, you're learning
acupuncture, that's cool.
751
00:32:49,003 --> 00:32:50,782
I wanted more, too, like JLS.
752
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,905
I mean, the old me wanted
to be Carol Merrill,
753
00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:56,452
and then, I realized just how limiting
754
00:32:56,836 --> 00:32:59,023
pointing at appliances was for a living.
755
00:32:59,048 --> 00:33:00,766
And then, that was just the other seagulls
756
00:33:00,766 --> 00:33:01,938
trying to keep me down.
757
00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:04,534
So now, I'm doing
something more fulfilling.
758
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,291
And helping people.
759
00:33:07,436 --> 00:33:09,215
It's funny, you know, 'cause...
760
00:33:10,265 --> 00:33:14,223
Like, I'm successful,
and I got money, and cars,
761
00:33:14,248 --> 00:33:15,937
and the big house, and like,
762
00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:18,413
more shit than I ever dreamed of having,
763
00:33:19,976 --> 00:33:22,023
but I'm not happy.
764
00:33:23,576 --> 00:33:25,273
Maybe you have the wrong dream.
765
00:33:25,478 --> 00:33:26,728
[LAUGHS]
766
00:33:26,812 --> 00:33:28,223
Are dreams returnable?
767
00:33:28,478 --> 00:33:29,591
[LAUGHS]
768
00:33:29,937 --> 00:33:31,147
Close your eyes.
769
00:33:34,478 --> 00:33:36,752
Imagine the place where you felt the most
770
00:33:36,777 --> 00:33:38,979
like Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
771
00:33:39,273 --> 00:33:41,280
The most creative and free.
772
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,665
Soaring.
773
00:33:45,926 --> 00:33:47,228
[LAUGHS]
774
00:33:47,665 --> 00:33:48,774
What?
775
00:33:50,314 --> 00:33:52,561
- It's way too stupid.
- Nothing is stupid.
776
00:33:54,629 --> 00:33:55,762
I bought something.
777
00:33:57,090 --> 00:33:58,098
What?
778
00:33:58,123 --> 00:33:59,724
Something totally impractical
779
00:33:59,724 --> 00:34:01,814
that I haven't told anybody
about, not even Eddie.
780
00:34:01,814 --> 00:34:03,062
Then tell me.
781
00:34:03,815 --> 00:34:05,916
No. I'll show you.
782
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,897
- Okay.
- Come on.
783
00:34:11,689 --> 00:34:14,522
Hey, uh, not to talk business,
784
00:34:14,605 --> 00:34:18,221
but what's up with the rewrite
of the game show sketch?
785
00:34:18,246 --> 00:34:19,309
Sounds like business.
786
00:34:19,309 --> 00:34:21,545
Feels a little more Sonny
and Cher than Ralph and Adam.
787
00:34:21,628 --> 00:34:23,123
All right, now, you can't go shit talking
788
00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,545
Sonny and Cher now, all right?
789
00:34:24,628 --> 00:34:26,027
Ralph's connection with
Ed is the only reason
790
00:34:26,052 --> 00:34:27,302
why we are what we are.
791
00:34:27,327 --> 00:34:29,381
Well, I can't piss off my daddy with this.
792
00:34:29,628 --> 00:34:31,363
Pissing off your daddy
will just come later.
793
00:34:31,544 --> 00:34:32,823
This a long con.
794
00:34:33,232 --> 00:34:36,103
Get yourself on the air
first, and then cut loose.
795
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,029
Can't piss Daddy off
if we ain't on TV, yeah?
796
00:34:39,419 --> 00:34:40,789
Ain't that right, Ralph?
797
00:34:41,586 --> 00:34:42,878
Man speaks the truth.
798
00:34:43,224 --> 00:34:46,541
All right, no disrespect. Y'all's vision.
799
00:34:47,170 --> 00:34:48,695
- Damn straight.
- Right.
800
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,091
Thank you.
801
00:35:07,356 --> 00:35:10,208
What do you think the point
is of a deathbed confession?
802
00:35:11,296 --> 00:35:12,711
Uh, I don't know.
803
00:35:12,736 --> 00:35:15,369
Save all your secrets,
blurt them out, disappear.
804
00:35:15,394 --> 00:35:17,629
You don't have to deal with
anyone's judgment after?
805
00:35:18,824 --> 00:35:20,040
Yeah, I guess.
806
00:35:21,670 --> 00:35:24,878
I don't know, not every truth
needs to see the light of day.
807
00:35:24,962 --> 00:35:27,745
No, by all means, let them eat
away at your stomach lining.
808
00:35:29,230 --> 00:35:31,345
- Okay, good talk.
- Sorry.
809
00:35:34,098 --> 00:35:35,974
I'm the last guy you owe an apology to.
810
00:35:35,999 --> 00:35:37,003
[EXHALES]
811
00:35:37,933 --> 00:35:39,345
Sadly, you're not.
812
00:35:42,866 --> 00:35:44,635
What's your deathbed confession?
813
00:35:45,836 --> 00:35:46,947
[LAUGHS]
814
00:35:47,033 --> 00:35:48,104
No.
815
00:35:48,586 --> 00:35:51,706
No, you don't get to just
flip ahead to the last page.
816
00:35:52,586 --> 00:35:54,592
Oh, come on, you puked on my neck.
817
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,582
Don't I deserve a little,
itty-bitty deathbed confession?
818
00:36:02,142 --> 00:36:05,518
I guess I'll wish I enjoyed shit more.
819
00:36:06,586 --> 00:36:07,700
Meaning?
820
00:36:08,711 --> 00:36:11,468
I just take all this shit
too serious, you know?
821
00:36:19,310 --> 00:36:20,847
[EXHALES]
822
00:36:22,228 --> 00:36:23,792
Want to get out of here?
823
00:36:25,648 --> 00:36:27,128
Yeah, I'll get out of here.
824
00:36:27,212 --> 00:36:28,471
[LAUGHS]
825
00:36:28,471 --> 00:36:30,836
- You want to get out of here?
- [LAUGHS] No.
826
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,336
I feel like that's how we got in trouble
827
00:36:32,419 --> 00:36:33,655
in the first place, but...
828
00:36:33,964 --> 00:36:35,702
- Let's go.
- Go where?
829
00:36:36,753 --> 00:36:39,711
Someplace fun that
doesn't end in us staring
830
00:36:39,795 --> 00:36:41,509
at the ceiling sharing a cigarette.
831
00:36:45,176 --> 00:36:46,276
Come on.
832
00:36:48,128 --> 00:36:50,503
A framed photo with Jack
Paar from 20 years ago.
833
00:36:50,586 --> 00:36:52,447
That's the thing that
meant the most to him?
834
00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:55,085
Yeah, it's not exactly Tut's tomb up here.
835
00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:57,672
We've all been to his
place, so it's either that,
836
00:36:57,756 --> 00:37:00,615
or a dirty glass with whiskey
crud at the bottom of it.
837
00:37:00,876 --> 00:37:02,208
He spent the majority of his life
838
00:37:02,233 --> 00:37:05,459
in a one-bedroom apartment,
drunk, penniless, and unknown.
839
00:37:05,542 --> 00:37:06,959
Hey, you know Edgar can hear you, right?
840
00:37:07,042 --> 00:37:08,625
Oh, shut the fuck up, Sully.
841
00:37:09,595 --> 00:37:11,545
It feels like forever since
I've been able to say that.
842
00:37:11,570 --> 00:37:12,945
This is why I quit the business.
843
00:37:13,069 --> 00:37:14,485
I want more at the end of the day
844
00:37:14,568 --> 00:37:15,944
than just a picture with Jack Paar.
845
00:37:16,027 --> 00:37:17,800
Oh, please, there's no
way you don't miss it.
846
00:37:17,961 --> 00:37:19,086
I know you don't believe it, Bill,
847
00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:20,538
but you know, outside of this club,
848
00:37:20,563 --> 00:37:23,027
there's an entire world going on.
849
00:37:23,111 --> 00:37:24,422
It's this wonderful thing called life.
850
00:37:24,447 --> 00:37:26,749
I'm married with a kid,
another one on the way.
851
00:37:26,774 --> 00:37:30,092
A steady job, and when I
crash on a couch, it's my own.
852
00:37:30,467 --> 00:37:33,121
Well, good for you, Sull.
But this is our life.
853
00:37:33,415 --> 00:37:35,443
It was Fitzy's, he deserved better.
854
00:37:35,443 --> 00:37:36,568
Just like we do.
855
00:37:37,306 --> 00:37:38,735
You know, Goldie paying for his wake
856
00:37:38,819 --> 00:37:40,180
and a few remaining bills is nice,
857
00:37:41,044 --> 00:37:42,361
but the time for her to pay for things
858
00:37:42,443 --> 00:37:43,695
was when he was still alive.
859
00:37:45,468 --> 00:37:48,069
You know, I actually
thought you quit the business
860
00:37:48,094 --> 00:37:49,489
because you were a horrible comedian.
861
00:37:49,514 --> 00:37:50,513
[LAUGHS]
862
00:37:50,538 --> 00:37:52,593
But it's nice to know that life thing.
863
00:37:52,594 --> 00:37:53,772
To Fitzy.
864
00:37:55,005 --> 00:37:56,145
Or we could just drink.
865
00:37:59,503 --> 00:38:00,421
[YELLING]
866
00:38:00,446 --> 00:38:01,815
[INAUDIBLE]
867
00:38:02,597 --> 00:38:03,704
Oh, my God.
868
00:38:03,729 --> 00:38:07,171
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]
869
00:38:07,254 --> 00:38:09,962
?
870
00:38:10,045 --> 00:38:11,478
[YELLS]
871
00:38:13,379 --> 00:38:16,254
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
872
00:38:19,351 --> 00:38:21,186
[BELLS RING]
873
00:38:23,037 --> 00:38:24,614
[CASSIE] Are you having a good time?
874
00:38:24,810 --> 00:38:26,892
Uh, actually, yeah, yes.
875
00:38:27,247 --> 00:38:29,079
Thanks for winning me my bear.
876
00:38:29,079 --> 00:38:32,303
Sure, best $22.50 I ever spent.
877
00:38:33,097 --> 00:38:35,628
Hopefully that makes up for the audition...
878
00:38:35,712 --> 00:38:37,876
Oh, no history today.
879
00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:41,586
Only rides, sugar, and horses!
880
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:43,609
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
881
00:38:43,728 --> 00:38:45,770
Come on, you little leprechaun.
882
00:38:45,806 --> 00:38:47,545
Should I try to prevent those?
883
00:38:59,256 --> 00:39:01,756
Where was the last
place you saw your daddy?
884
00:39:03,014 --> 00:39:04,150
There.
885
00:39:05,449 --> 00:39:07,386
Well, how about we go over there together
886
00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:08,559
and try to find him?
887
00:39:08,559 --> 00:39:09,704
I can't.
888
00:39:10,225 --> 00:39:14,142
I can't go with strangers.
He's gonna be mad.
889
00:39:14,199 --> 00:39:17,668
No, no, no, he might be upset, but...
890
00:39:17,693 --> 00:39:20,943
What if he hates me now for not listening?
891
00:39:20,968 --> 00:39:23,093
No, he's not gonna hate you.
892
00:39:24,026 --> 00:39:25,092
I promise.
893
00:39:25,185 --> 00:39:26,602
[TIM HARDIN'S "RED BALLOON"]
894
00:39:27,009 --> 00:39:28,621
Hey, hey.
895
00:39:30,693 --> 00:39:32,130
What if we walk behind you?
896
00:39:32,459 --> 00:39:34,084
You know, to make sure
that you're all right,
897
00:39:34,084 --> 00:39:35,283
while you find him.
898
00:39:35,283 --> 00:39:37,534
Okay, because then, you're not
really walking with us, right?
899
00:39:37,874 --> 00:39:39,230
Would that be okay?
900
00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,450
Yeah? Okay.
901
00:39:42,534 --> 00:39:43,766
Lead the way.
902
00:39:44,075 --> 00:39:45,617
?
903
00:39:45,701 --> 00:39:48,158
? Hidden in the red balloon ?
904
00:39:48,242 --> 00:39:50,543
Look at you, springing into action.
905
00:39:51,099 --> 00:39:54,313
Uh, it's a good rule, you know,
just needs a little bending.
906
00:39:54,742 --> 00:39:57,407
[CASSIE] It's funny the way
kids make sense of things.
907
00:39:58,645 --> 00:39:59,772
[NICK] What do you mean?
908
00:39:59,905 --> 00:40:02,179
Him thinking that his father would hate him
909
00:40:02,179 --> 00:40:04,229
for getting lost, I mean, who could hate
910
00:40:04,254 --> 00:40:05,655
a seven-year-old
boy?
911
00:40:08,146 --> 00:40:09,366
[BOY] Daddy!
912
00:40:11,437 --> 00:40:14,104
? Oh, my ?
913
00:40:14,187 --> 00:40:16,354
? I hope so ?
914
00:40:16,437 --> 00:40:17,942
We've been looking all over for you.
915
00:40:17,967 --> 00:40:19,020
Hi.
916
00:40:19,104 --> 00:40:22,020
?
917
00:40:29,797 --> 00:40:32,272
Good, huh? Oh, thank you, darling.
918
00:40:32,862 --> 00:40:33,995
[KISSING NOISES]
919
00:40:35,603 --> 00:40:37,586
I ever tell you about the time I saw Pryor?
920
00:40:38,843 --> 00:40:40,661
Psh. Do you even know another story?
921
00:40:41,478 --> 00:40:43,104
Don't be a asshole.
922
00:40:43,129 --> 00:40:46,249
I'm... I'm not talking about
when I was drunk with him.
923
00:40:46,462 --> 00:40:49,252
I'm talking about the
first time I saw his act.
924
00:40:49,686 --> 00:40:51,301
Mm, no.
925
00:40:52,035 --> 00:40:53,779
Finally, I don't have to move my lips along
926
00:40:53,779 --> 00:40:55,067
while you tell a story.
927
00:40:55,741 --> 00:40:56,804
[LAUGHS]
928
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,555
I had only been in LA, uh, a week.
929
00:41:01,824 --> 00:41:03,449
You know, and I came here to see him.
930
00:41:04,388 --> 00:41:06,835
And uh, he was all fucked up.
931
00:41:07,112 --> 00:41:09,151
And it just got bad, you know?
932
00:41:09,711 --> 00:41:11,008
And he got quiet.
933
00:41:11,658 --> 00:41:14,088
And then, somebody from
the audience screamed:
934
00:41:14,407 --> 00:41:15,794
"Richard, we love you!"
935
00:41:16,116 --> 00:41:17,203
And...
936
00:41:19,787 --> 00:41:22,721
And he just stood there, and it was silent.
937
00:41:25,521 --> 00:41:29,097
And real quiet-like, he
said, "I love you, too."
938
00:41:32,713 --> 00:41:34,366
It was almost like his mask had fell off
939
00:41:34,449 --> 00:41:35,757
in the middle of his act.
940
00:41:37,158 --> 00:41:38,771
And they were handing it back to him.
941
00:41:42,674 --> 00:41:45,033
Then the rest of his act just became about
942
00:41:45,116 --> 00:41:46,908
him being drunk and bombing.
943
00:41:46,991 --> 00:41:48,086
[LAUGHS]
944
00:41:48,491 --> 00:41:49,712
But they dug it.
945
00:41:51,365 --> 00:41:53,267
That's how powerful his shit is.
946
00:41:55,647 --> 00:41:57,513
The man even fails like a genius.
947
00:42:01,574 --> 00:42:02,757
I want that.
948
00:42:04,033 --> 00:42:06,888
I want to be a man who
can fail like a genius.
949
00:42:22,095 --> 00:42:23,531
[EXHALES]
950
00:42:26,241 --> 00:42:29,200
[SHUGGIE OTIS'
"INSPIRATION INFORMATION"]
951
00:42:29,282 --> 00:42:31,033
I still can't believe you bought this.
952
00:42:31,116 --> 00:42:32,434
Well, it was kind of an impulse buy.
953
00:42:32,459 --> 00:42:34,366
The impulse being cocaine and whiskey.
954
00:42:34,449 --> 00:42:35,551
[LAUGHS]
955
00:42:35,908 --> 00:42:37,854
I think it's fucking awesome.
956
00:42:37,988 --> 00:42:39,033
- Really?
- Yeah.
957
00:42:39,116 --> 00:42:40,260
I mean, they were just gonna close it down.
958
00:42:40,285 --> 00:42:41,895
It barely cost anything.
959
00:42:42,366 --> 00:42:43,532
Well, does it make you happy?
960
00:42:44,421 --> 00:42:45,963
Yeah, it really does.
961
00:42:45,988 --> 00:42:47,280
[LAUGHS]
962
00:42:47,783 --> 00:42:49,200
I mean, when we were
kids, me and my friends,
963
00:42:49,282 --> 00:42:51,324
we lived at our roller rink, you know?
964
00:42:51,349 --> 00:42:53,117
It had everything, cute girls,
965
00:42:53,491 --> 00:42:55,200
me and my buddies goofing around.
966
00:42:55,282 --> 00:42:56,539
I was pretty good too.
967
00:42:56,564 --> 00:42:58,406
I could do all those
fancy tricks and stuff.
968
00:42:58,491 --> 00:43:00,200
I mean, I'd fall on my ass half the time,
969
00:43:00,282 --> 00:43:03,075
but it didn't matter, you know?
You just got up, kept going.
970
00:43:05,116 --> 00:43:07,111
Jonathan Livingston Shack.
971
00:43:07,296 --> 00:43:09,866
You were just living
your true self, Ronnie.
972
00:43:10,766 --> 00:43:12,712
- You really think so?
- I know it.
973
00:43:13,783 --> 00:43:16,616
? She moves ?
974
00:43:16,699 --> 00:43:18,658
? The highs ?
975
00:43:18,741 --> 00:43:23,783
? You, making me happier ?
976
00:43:23,866 --> 00:43:28,158
? Now, I am snappier while I'm with you ?
977
00:43:28,241 --> 00:43:30,491
[LAUGHS]
978
00:43:30,574 --> 00:43:34,158
? I got to be heavier ?
979
00:43:34,241 --> 00:43:36,950
? Because I am happier ?
980
00:43:37,033 --> 00:43:39,908
? When I'm with you ?
981
00:43:39,991 --> 00:43:41,161
[PHONE RINGS]
982
00:43:41,574 --> 00:43:42,725
[EXHALES]
983
00:43:43,324 --> 00:43:44,658
[PHONE RINGS]
984
00:43:46,866 --> 00:43:48,400
- Yeah, hello?
- [SARAH] Hi.
985
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,324
I'm looking for Eddie Zeidel.
986
00:43:50,407 --> 00:43:52,216
Uh, this is Eddie. Who's this?
987
00:43:52,564 --> 00:43:55,116
[SARAH] It's Sarah, Cassie's sister.
988
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,126
Sister/cousin. How are you?
989
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:58,532
Good.
990
00:43:58,557 --> 00:43:59,657
[SARAH] I know we've never met,
991
00:43:59,682 --> 00:44:01,158
but she gave me your number once,
992
00:44:01,241 --> 00:44:03,207
and I really need to ask a favor.
993
00:44:04,377 --> 00:44:08,044
Okay, um, Sarah, is everything okay?
994
00:44:08,172 --> 00:44:11,324
We had a fight about Jesse.
I know she means well,
995
00:44:11,407 --> 00:44:13,532
but she really needs to
learn some boundaries.
996
00:44:13,616 --> 00:44:15,547
Boundaries with... with Jesse?
997
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:17,490
I said some harsh things to her.
998
00:44:17,574 --> 00:44:20,658
I was just upset, and Jesse
can't have two mothers.
999
00:44:20,741 --> 00:44:22,282
I know she gave birth to him and all,
1000
00:44:22,366 --> 00:44:24,470
but it's not fair to any
of us, especially Jesse.
1001
00:44:24,908 --> 00:44:27,116
[TENSE MUSIC]
1002
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,282
Sure, yeah, that... makes sense.
1003
00:44:30,366 --> 00:44:31,626
[SARAH] I'm kind of desperate here.
1004
00:44:31,790 --> 00:44:33,195
I thought you being her boyfriend and all,
1005
00:44:33,220 --> 00:44:34,491
maybe you could help?
1006
00:44:34,574 --> 00:44:36,824
Has she said anything
about the fight, or...
1007
00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:38,124
No.
1008
00:44:38,149 --> 00:44:39,824
[SARAH] Do you think you could talk to her?
1009
00:44:39,908 --> 00:44:41,533
Explain things, 'cause...
1010
00:44:42,518 --> 00:44:43,813
I think she'll listen to you,
1011
00:44:43,838 --> 00:44:45,532
and I'm blue in the face over here.
1012
00:44:45,616 --> 00:44:48,282
?
1013
00:44:50,365 --> 00:44:51,839
Why are you forgiving me?
1014
00:44:54,613 --> 00:44:55,675
Why not?
1015
00:44:58,075 --> 00:44:59,780
My eyes were open.
1016
00:45:02,954 --> 00:45:06,200
I met this priest at a coffee shop.
1017
00:45:08,449 --> 00:45:12,449
His bicycle with a confessional
strapped to the back.
1018
00:45:12,474 --> 00:45:14,600
He was giving out penance to these hookers.
1019
00:45:14,625 --> 00:45:16,250
Where the hell are you having coffee?
1020
00:45:16,370 --> 00:45:18,413
He said we have to forgive our monsters.
1021
00:45:19,915 --> 00:45:22,841
Or our transgressors.
1022
00:45:26,175 --> 00:45:29,191
You ever think maybe we're the
monsters we have to forgive?
1023
00:45:54,153 --> 00:45:56,449
You said, who could hate
a seven-year-old boy?
1024
00:45:56,532 --> 00:45:58,491
[SOMBER MUSIC]
1025
00:45:59,525 --> 00:46:00,782
And I have.
1026
00:46:01,128 --> 00:46:07,045
?
1027
00:46:28,699 --> 00:46:31,699
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
1028
00:46:31,783 --> 00:46:36,950
?
1029
00:47:07,165 --> 00:47:08,766
- What's this?
- A rewrite.
1030
00:47:10,532 --> 00:47:12,033
This is the same shit that we started with.
1031
00:47:12,116 --> 00:47:13,913
- What's going on?
- I fucked it up.
1032
00:47:14,271 --> 00:47:15,801
Now I'm un-fucking it up.
1033
00:47:16,158 --> 00:47:17,721
But why change your mind now, man?
1034
00:47:17,721 --> 00:47:20,095
- We about to shoot this shit.
- I know, I know.
1035
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:23,807
I don't got an explanation.
I just... I lost my way.
1036
00:47:24,752 --> 00:47:26,703
Come on, Ralph, man, you scaring me now.
1037
00:47:26,971 --> 00:47:30,929
Hey, Adam, I'm scared shitless.
I cost you a bundle on this.
1038
00:47:31,012 --> 00:47:33,554
You put your faith in
me, and not to mention,
1039
00:47:33,637 --> 00:47:35,584
I got all my eggs in this basket too.
1040
00:47:35,999 --> 00:47:37,728
Yeah, but you told me, back in 'Nam,
1041
00:47:37,728 --> 00:47:39,187
scared is when you did your best thinking.
1042
00:47:39,270 --> 00:47:41,714
It is, and that's why we going back
1043
00:47:41,739 --> 00:47:43,461
to what we originally wrote together.
1044
00:47:43,461 --> 00:47:46,288
That, and it's fucking hilarious.
1045
00:47:51,004 --> 00:47:53,504
- Well, let's do this thing.
- Let's do it, come on.
1046
00:47:54,890 --> 00:47:56,107
[KNOCKING]
1047
00:47:56,804 --> 00:47:57,837
Can we talk a sec?
1048
00:47:58,048 --> 00:47:59,839
It's 11 o'clock in the morning.
1049
00:47:59,923 --> 00:48:01,388
Aren't "The Three Stooges" on somewhere?
1050
00:48:01,413 --> 00:48:02,460
[LAUGHS]
1051
00:48:02,705 --> 00:48:04,297
That should prove how important this is.
1052
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:05,380
[SCOFFS]
1053
00:48:05,464 --> 00:48:07,006
I need you to hear me out, Gold.
1054
00:48:07,089 --> 00:48:09,063
- I-I have a proposal for you.
- Goodie.
1055
00:48:11,380 --> 00:48:13,214
I know you don't want to pay the comics.
1056
00:48:13,297 --> 00:48:15,428
- Oh, for...
- Just listen, please.
1057
00:48:17,736 --> 00:48:19,819
I know it's a school. I respect that.
1058
00:48:20,339 --> 00:48:22,048
But most of the comics
that perform here for free
1059
00:48:22,073 --> 00:48:24,133
are either broke or barely hanging on.
1060
00:48:24,797 --> 00:48:26,745
I was with a comic who
killed the other night,
1061
00:48:27,082 --> 00:48:28,981
and couldn't afford a hamburger after.
1062
00:48:30,089 --> 00:48:31,672
I think I have a compromise
you'll agree with.
1063
00:48:31,756 --> 00:48:33,524
Who said I wanted a compromise?
1064
00:48:35,756 --> 00:48:38,722
What if we raised the
price at the door one buck?
1065
00:48:39,089 --> 00:48:40,425
And the comics who don't headline,
1066
00:48:40,425 --> 00:48:41,937
they get to split that extra buck.
1067
00:48:42,237 --> 00:48:44,672
- It won't cost you anything...
- I am not paying
1068
00:48:44,756 --> 00:48:47,714
these young comics a red
cent. The guy can go get a job.
1069
00:48:47,797 --> 00:48:49,667
That's what everybody's always done.
1070
00:48:50,216 --> 00:48:51,838
There are other clubs opening, you know.
1071
00:48:52,131 --> 00:48:54,195
I know, I'm opening them.
1072
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:56,597
So that's it?
1073
00:48:56,847 --> 00:48:59,805
It will cost you zero, and
you still won't consider it?
1074
00:49:01,589 --> 00:49:04,211
You know, Billy, you're like a cat
1075
00:49:04,406 --> 00:49:06,647
bringing its master a dead mouse.
1076
00:49:06,888 --> 00:49:08,338
Thinking it's a gift.
1077
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:13,168
I think we're done here.
1078
00:49:15,834 --> 00:49:17,042
That's one opinion.
1079
00:49:18,756 --> 00:49:20,663
[INHALES]
1080
00:49:28,712 --> 00:49:30,589
So in the scene where you come to the door
1081
00:49:30,672 --> 00:49:32,131
wrapped in toilet paper, you know,
1082
00:49:32,214 --> 00:49:33,923
after the neighborhood kids TP you,
1083
00:49:33,948 --> 00:49:36,380
it would be great if you
said "It's Benny time!"
1084
00:49:36,464 --> 00:49:38,589
You know, like the toilet
paper's covering your mouth?
1085
00:49:38,672 --> 00:49:41,089
And you... Why am I even asking you?
1086
00:49:41,173 --> 00:49:42,773
You'll probably be eating a bagel
1087
00:49:42,798 --> 00:49:44,120
when you read it anyway.
1088
00:49:45,537 --> 00:49:46,568
Ernie...
1089
00:49:47,578 --> 00:49:48,603
Thank you.
1090
00:49:49,214 --> 00:49:50,589
Well, don't thank me, it's my job.
1091
00:49:50,672 --> 00:49:52,994
No, I mean, uh, for everything.
1092
00:49:53,505 --> 00:49:56,249
Oh, well... you're welcome, Ron.
1093
00:50:01,173 --> 00:50:02,681
Everybody, could I have your attention?
1094
00:50:02,787 --> 00:50:03,913
This will just take a second.
1095
00:50:08,575 --> 00:50:09,606
I quit.
1096
00:50:14,161 --> 00:50:17,078
[TENSE MUSIC]
1097
00:50:17,103 --> 00:50:18,680
?
1098
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:21,282
Ron, knock it off. We
got a table read here.
1099
00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:23,832
Hey, Ron, you've had your laugh.
1100
00:50:24,347 --> 00:50:25,457
Ron?
1101
00:50:26,596 --> 00:50:28,513
Okay, someone get me that fucking asshole's
1102
00:50:28,596 --> 00:50:30,826
fucking asshole agent on the phone.
1103
00:50:34,763 --> 00:50:36,137
It's about control.
1104
00:50:36,275 --> 00:50:38,364
You go in thinking
Goldie's only for the money,
1105
00:50:38,419 --> 00:50:40,314
that's just like bringing
a knife to a gun fight.
1106
00:50:47,721 --> 00:50:48,769
Thanks.
1107
00:50:49,636 --> 00:50:51,432
I think I'm still buzzed from the wake.
1108
00:50:51,529 --> 00:50:52,639
[LAUGHS]
1109
00:50:52,639 --> 00:50:53,971
Yeah, I got to say, man,
1110
00:50:53,972 --> 00:50:55,430
the Irish know how to do it right.
1111
00:50:55,834 --> 00:50:58,239
A black funeral, there's
always somebody grandma
1112
00:50:58,264 --> 00:51:00,967
pulling the grandpa out
the coffin and wailing.
1113
00:51:01,144 --> 00:51:03,626
Five minutes later, she's
on her second glass of wine
1114
00:51:03,709 --> 00:51:05,261
and fifth finger sandwich.
1115
00:51:05,261 --> 00:51:06,810
[LAUGHTER]
1116
00:51:07,969 --> 00:51:10,008
I wonder what happened to Roy, you know?
1117
00:51:10,306 --> 00:51:11,638
He and Fitzy were tight.
1118
00:51:11,722 --> 00:51:13,139
You'd think he would have shown up for that
1119
00:51:13,164 --> 00:51:15,109
out of the woodwork, and send him off.
1120
00:51:15,431 --> 00:51:16,601
He's just busy.
1121
00:51:16,813 --> 00:51:18,049
He's in the loony bin.
1122
00:51:18,980 --> 00:51:20,813
My mom says he's really out of it.
1123
00:51:21,338 --> 00:51:23,697
Roy? No shit?
1124
00:51:27,119 --> 00:51:28,474
Thanks for the hit.
1125
00:51:37,467 --> 00:51:38,993
That changes everything.
1126
00:51:39,278 --> 00:51:42,055
No Roy, and her club opening in two weeks?
1127
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:43,938
- How so?
- Leverage.
1128
00:51:44,778 --> 00:51:46,047
Without Roy, Goldie's gonna need
1129
00:51:46,072 --> 00:51:47,533
her best comics to perform.
1130
00:51:47,533 --> 00:51:49,130
Yeah, but she's still got 100 comics
1131
00:51:49,213 --> 00:51:51,824
that will do whatever she
wants for even stage time.
1132
00:51:51,824 --> 00:51:53,074
That's right, that's right, Edgar.
1133
00:51:53,157 --> 00:51:54,993
That's why this is a bigger conversation.
1134
00:51:55,227 --> 00:51:56,894
We need to get all the comics together.
1135
00:51:56,977 --> 00:51:58,943
- To do what?
- Take action.
1136
00:51:58,943 --> 00:52:00,456
What, are we going to show up at her house
1137
00:52:00,457 --> 00:52:03,291
with torches and pitchforks
and demand that she pay us?
1138
00:52:03,849 --> 00:52:05,682
That's very Cinco de Mayo of you, Edgar,
1139
00:52:05,766 --> 00:52:07,730
but I'm thinking more along
the lines of organization.
1140
00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:09,650
You mean like a strike?
1141
00:52:10,168 --> 00:52:12,585
That's exactly what I mean. A strike.
1142
00:52:13,013 --> 00:52:14,846
[TENSE MUSIC]
1143
00:52:14,929 --> 00:52:16,190
[BILL] Because if it's about control,
1144
00:52:16,190 --> 00:52:17,964
let us be the one that has it for once.
1145
00:52:18,189 --> 00:52:19,971
[EDGAR] No comedians, no comedy club.
1146
00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:21,429
[BILL] I like the way
you think with that weed.
1147
00:52:21,512 --> 00:52:23,289
[EDGAR] You know, I do feel sharp.
1148
00:52:24,013 --> 00:52:25,470
[BILL] You're still
gonna drive drunk, though.
1149
00:52:25,554 --> 00:52:26,982
[EDGAR] Hey, it's just a bunch of beers.
1150
00:52:30,042 --> 00:52:31,083
Hey.
1151
00:52:32,351 --> 00:52:33,583
Can I come in?
1152
00:52:35,138 --> 00:52:36,150
Yeah.
1153
00:52:38,888 --> 00:52:39,947
Sup?
1154
00:52:47,566 --> 00:52:48,654
[CLEARS THROAT]
1155
00:52:50,879 --> 00:52:51,887
[EXHALES]
1156
00:52:53,615 --> 00:52:55,395
Why didn't you tell me about Jesse?
1157
00:52:59,926 --> 00:53:01,297
Did Nick tell you?
1158
00:53:04,757 --> 00:53:05,815
[CHUCKLES]
1159
00:53:10,370 --> 00:53:12,479
Wow, you really don't
make things easy, huh?
1160
00:53:13,679 --> 00:53:16,271
No, no, it was your cousin...
1161
00:53:16,519 --> 00:53:18,262
Sister/cousin Sarah,
1162
00:53:19,104 --> 00:53:20,354
[EDDIE] She called worried.
1163
00:53:20,437 --> 00:53:22,060
She... she, uh...
1164
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:24,521
Assumed that we were
together, because, obviously,
1165
00:53:24,546 --> 00:53:25,962
you didn't tell her what you did.
1166
00:53:25,962 --> 00:53:28,396
And she thought that you'd have
shared something like that with me.
1167
00:53:28,479 --> 00:53:29,753
I wanted to tell you.
1168
00:53:29,753 --> 00:53:32,170
I really... I tried to
tell you a lot of times.
1169
00:53:32,253 --> 00:53:33,341
But you didn't.
1170
00:53:35,452 --> 00:53:37,211
Which is fine, that's
your choice, you know?
1171
00:53:37,295 --> 00:53:40,461
But it just proves to me that
you were never fully all in.
1172
00:53:40,545 --> 00:53:42,753
That you didn't give a shit.
1173
00:53:42,837 --> 00:53:44,420
That the whole thing was a fucking lie.
1174
00:53:44,503 --> 00:53:46,103
That's not fair. You can't know that.
1175
00:53:46,243 --> 00:53:48,901
- How do I not fucking know that?
- You can't fucking know that,
1176
00:53:48,901 --> 00:53:50,951
because have you ever given away a baby?
1177
00:53:52,532 --> 00:53:55,508
I'm sorry I don't have your
fearless vulnerability, Eddie.
1178
00:53:55,595 --> 00:53:58,194
That is not something
that I just blurt out.
1179
00:53:58,943 --> 00:54:01,699
I know I fucked up with us, I know that.
1180
00:54:01,991 --> 00:54:04,324
And I am sorry, and I should have told you,
1181
00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:05,819
but I am done.
1182
00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:08,431
I forgive myself.
1183
00:54:08,699 --> 00:54:11,532
So until you are ready to talk to me
1184
00:54:11,615 --> 00:54:13,116
like an actual human being,
1185
00:54:13,199 --> 00:54:15,116
and not like some gambler waltzing in here
1186
00:54:15,199 --> 00:54:17,627
with a full house, then you can leave.
1187
00:54:17,652 --> 00:54:19,022
Here's the door.
1188
00:54:52,991 --> 00:54:55,991
[SOFT MUSIC]
1189
00:54:56,074 --> 00:55:00,949
?
1190
00:55:18,782 --> 00:55:20,735
Oh, hey, hon, could you ask Arnie
1191
00:55:20,765 --> 00:55:22,925
to tell the bartender to get
that other till down here?
1192
00:55:23,466 --> 00:55:24,825
I want to get the hell out of here.
1193
00:55:29,460 --> 00:55:30,671
What happened?
1194
00:55:34,035 --> 00:55:35,467
I think I fucked up.
1195
00:55:39,270 --> 00:55:42,059
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
1196
00:55:42,084 --> 00:55:44,084
[LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC]
1197
00:55:44,167 --> 00:55:50,042
?
1198
00:55:50,092 --> 00:55:54,642
Repair and Synchronization by
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