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1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,087
And the virgin's breast
was exposed to the dress
2
00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:05,588
- Both: Boo!
- Ahh!
3
00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,590
- [both laugh]
- What a sensual fall.
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:10,026
What the hell
are you guys doing?
5
00:00:10,027 --> 00:00:12,028
- Playing Boo.
- I'm winning.
6
00:00:12,029 --> 00:00:13,262
You guys are gonna hurt someone.
7
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,664
Ooh, good idea, Billie.
8
00:00:14,665 --> 00:00:15,998
Extra points
to make someone fall down.
9
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,700
Yes, yes, yes.
10
00:00:17,701 --> 00:00:19,535
[both laughing]
11
00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:20,837
Hey, did you know that Bigfoot's
12
00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:22,572
an interdimensional time traveler?
13
00:00:22,573 --> 00:00:24,107
- Get out of my room!
- We'll talk about it later.
14
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,174
- [smooches]
- [sighs]
15
00:00:25,175 --> 00:00:26,342
Chet!
16
00:00:26,343 --> 00:00:28,578
[singing in Spanish]
17
00:00:28,579 --> 00:00:29,679
- Boo!
- Ah, jeez!
18
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,247
- Ah! Oh!
- [laughing]
19
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,050
[bass music]
20
00:00:34,051 --> 00:00:35,451
- Boo!
- Ahh! Ahh!
21
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,520
[laughing]
22
00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:38,989
Joy, I need help out of this.
23
00:00:40,391 --> 00:00:42,191
I think you're still winning.
24
00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,459
What? No flipping way.
25
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,395
Give it to me.
26
00:00:45,396 --> 00:00:46,629
But not for long.
27
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,131
Watch this.
28
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,198
[rock music]
29
00:00:49,199 --> 00:00:50,199
[engine revving]
30
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,802
Boo!
31
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,604
You won.
32
00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:56,606
We're too gangsta for TV
33
00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:58,274
That's why you don't see us
34
00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,876
But they still wanna be us
35
00:00:59,877 --> 00:01:02,545
Ha ha!
36
00:01:02,546 --> 00:01:05,815
[clock chimes]
37
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,619
I can't believe you're wearing
that shirt to the funeral.
38
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,287
Why, is it too tight?
Can you see my nipples?
39
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,789
No, it's okay. You know what?
[doorbell rings]
40
00:01:12,790 --> 00:01:13,823
- She's coming. Cross...
- Stop.
41
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,058
Don't jiggle my tits.
42
00:01:15,059 --> 00:01:16,125
I'm not jiggling your tits.
43
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:17,393
You jiggled it.
44
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,795
- Don't molest me.
- I'm not mo...
45
00:01:18,796 --> 00:01:20,029
Hi, Virginia. How are you?
46
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,164
I wasn't molesting her.
47
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:22,498
Let's make this snappy.
48
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,133
I have to get home
and sign divorce papers
49
00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:27,070
so my husband can start
his new life with my sister.
50
00:01:27,071 --> 00:01:29,072
Come on.
51
00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:30,406
The alarm will be off,
52
00:01:30,407 --> 00:01:32,241
but the GPS will still be enabled.
53
00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,644
I'm sorry about your sister.
54
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:36,379
Thank you.
55
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:38,548
Your first soul mate
is your sister.
56
00:01:38,549 --> 00:01:39,916
Yeah, exactly.
57
00:01:39,917 --> 00:01:41,084
Must have really, like,
58
00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:42,852
knocked your socks off, you know.
59
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,354
I feel shaken.
60
00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:46,022
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry too.
61
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,423
[gasps] What the hell... what...
62
00:01:47,424 --> 00:01:49,425
- What did you say?
- That was hurtful.
63
00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,494
Oh, I was saying I'm sorry,
too, for your sister.
64
00:01:51,495 --> 00:01:53,529
- Ah, ah, no.
- My poor sister?
65
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,531
That's who you're sorry for
in this scenario.
66
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:59,369
I think what this stupid idiot
was trying to say was
67
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,471
you were talking about GPS.
68
00:02:01,472 --> 00:02:02,839
- Thank you.
- Yeah. So...
69
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,240
If you go off route,
70
00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:05,775
because the GPS is still enabled,
71
00:02:05,776 --> 00:02:06,943
the police will be notified.
72
00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:08,344
Mm-hmm.
73
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,812
Other than that,
you've got four hours,
74
00:02:09,813 --> 00:02:11,614
which should be ample time
for the service
75
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:12,782
and the round trip.
76
00:02:12,783 --> 00:02:14,183
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
77
00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:15,651
Have a great time
at your friend's funeral.
78
00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:16,686
- Thank you.
- Sure.
79
00:02:16,687 --> 00:02:18,654
I will.
80
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:20,356
[sighs]
81
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:21,924
Last one to the car's a bitch,
'cause it's you.
82
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:23,259
- [laughs]
- Okay.
83
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:24,427
All right, thank you. [clattering]
84
00:02:24,428 --> 00:02:25,862
So much for... oops.
85
00:02:25,863 --> 00:02:27,764
That's... never mind that.
I'll get it.
86
00:02:27,765 --> 00:02:29,499
- I'll let you get that, yeah.
- It's an ornate ball.
87
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,666
Um, Virginia, could I... sorry.
88
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,368
Hi, can I just ask you...
89
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,804
I'm not gonna take her for you.
90
00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:38,041
Okay. Um...
91
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:42,111
Can I just tell you,
just between friends, I...
92
00:02:42,112 --> 00:02:43,513
Friends?
93
00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:45,048
Let's not put a label on it.
94
00:02:45,049 --> 00:02:48,217
I just... I had a very traumatic
childhood experience
95
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:49,886
at a funeral,
96
00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:53,222
and I think if I go,
I might have a panic attack.
97
00:02:53,223 --> 00:02:55,358
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
98
00:02:55,359 --> 00:02:57,193
Let me ask you something,
okay, while we're sharing.
99
00:02:57,194 --> 00:02:58,661
Mm-hmm.
100
00:02:58,662 --> 00:03:00,129
Have you ever walked
in on your husband
101
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:03,766
nosediving your sister
in your marital bed?
102
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,702
Uh, no... uh?
103
00:03:05,703 --> 00:03:07,537
Right up in there?
104
00:03:07,538 --> 00:03:11,240
No. I had a cat that
moved in with my neighbor...
105
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:12,775
- Have her back by 6:00.
- Okay.
106
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,777
- Bye.
- Oh, bye.
107
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,780
[dramatic orchestral music]
108
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:25,288
109
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,390
Ooh, turn left.
There's a water park.
110
00:03:27,391 --> 00:03:29,592
- You missed it.
- We have to stay on this road.
111
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:31,627
Ooh, ooh, ooh, State Farm.
There's probably a petting zoo.
112
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,429
- Let's stop.
- We don't have time, okay?
113
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,766
We're not going anywhere
except for the funeral.
114
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,901
- Why are you so sweaty?
- I'm not sweaty.
115
00:03:38,902 --> 00:03:41,771
I'm just concentrating
on getting there.
116
00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,639
- Turn right on Glen Road.
- Oh, God!
117
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,641
You okay?
118
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,910
- Yeah.
- No, it's Chunky Cheese!
119
00:03:47,911 --> 00:03:49,011
I have to pee.
120
00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:50,646
[sighs] Hold it.
121
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,482
I can't. It's slippery.
122
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,083
It's not slippery.
123
00:03:54,084 --> 00:03:55,685
There's a bathroom
at Chunky Cheese's,
124
00:03:55,686 --> 00:03:56,986
and they've got moving animals.
125
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,255
- Let's stop.
- Absolutely not.
126
00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:00,523
Please.
127
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:02,258
I'm just saying
I have to make wet.
128
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,093
No, you're just saying
you'd rather go
129
00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:07,230
to a rat-themed restaurant
than your best friend's funeral.
130
00:04:07,231 --> 00:04:09,332
- You're avoiding.
- Oh, my gosh.
131
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:12,168
That's like the least true thing
anyone's ever said, okay,
132
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,505
because I'm frickin' psyched
to go to Chet's funeral.
133
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,273
You shouldn't be psyched either.
134
00:04:17,274 --> 00:04:18,674
This is serious, okay?
135
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,376
I mean, look
at what you're wearing.
136
00:04:20,377 --> 00:04:22,111
Don't tell me how to grieve!
137
00:04:22,112 --> 00:04:24,781
[relaxing music playing]
138
00:04:24,782 --> 00:04:27,717
I still have to one.
139
00:04:27,718 --> 00:04:28,851
Okay.
140
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,754
[relaxing instrumental music]
141
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:35,525
[woman singing in Spanish]
142
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:43,567
143
00:04:47,104 --> 00:04:48,237
[exhaling sharply]
144
00:04:48,238 --> 00:04:50,273
[sighs] Calm down.
145
00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:52,375
- Call it up.
- Oh, God.
146
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,576
Relax. It's just me.
147
00:04:53,577 --> 00:04:54,577
I know.
148
00:04:54,578 --> 00:04:57,880
Here, have a juice box.
149
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,415
Thank you.
150
00:04:59,416 --> 00:05:00,917
[clears throat]
151
00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:02,652
Oh, that's not juice. It's wine.
152
00:05:02,653 --> 00:05:04,153
Yeah, duh.
153
00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:06,122
Everybody knows that "juice"
is code for "wine."
154
00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:07,690
Look, I'm sorry
I snapped at you earlier.
155
00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:09,359
Oh, it's okay.
156
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,627
You're not the coolest person.
I get that.
157
00:05:11,628 --> 00:05:13,663
Can I tell you something?
158
00:05:13,664 --> 00:05:17,333
No. Wait. Yeah.
159
00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,735
Eh...
160
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:19,969
Okay.
161
00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:22,372
Um, when I was five,
162
00:05:22,373 --> 00:05:24,073
at my grandmother's funeral,
163
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,342
my mom told me to go
give her a kiss good-bye,
164
00:05:26,343 --> 00:05:28,211
so I did, but her casket
165
00:05:28,212 --> 00:05:30,179
was on this lowering
mechanism thingy,
166
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:32,515
so they had to get me a stool
so I could reach her.
167
00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:35,518
And when I leaned in
to kiss her, I fell in,
168
00:05:35,519 --> 00:05:37,987
and the casket shut behind me,
and they couldn't get it open,
169
00:05:37,988 --> 00:05:40,490
so I was just trapped in there
with my dead grandmother
170
00:05:40,491 --> 00:05:44,428
for 15 minutes, and I haven't
been to a funeral since.
171
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,264
And?
172
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:52,402
And then the cast
of "Friends" showed up.
173
00:05:52,403 --> 00:05:54,103
Really? The whole cast?
174
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,872
- Wait, was Gunther there?
- No.
175
00:05:55,873 --> 00:05:57,373
'Cause it doesn't count
if he wasn't.
176
00:05:57,374 --> 00:06:00,777
Forget it.
Let's just go do this thing.
177
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,145
Fine.
178
00:06:02,146 --> 00:06:03,679
- Wait.
- What?
179
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,415
Okay, we won't go.
180
00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:07,250
Chet won't care that
we're not gonna be there.
181
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,318
And, like, you're all freaked
about your grandma,
182
00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:11,354
and my hat's stupid,
183
00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:12,588
and you got me all in my head
about my shirt, so...
184
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,490
You know what? I... yeah, hmm.
185
00:06:14,491 --> 00:06:16,592
- Mm, yes, now that I...
- What?
186
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,095
I like it. It's nice.
187
00:06:19,096 --> 00:06:20,797
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
188
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,498
No, I think it's
a really nice way
189
00:06:22,499 --> 00:06:27,370
to capture the moment, okay?
190
00:06:27,371 --> 00:06:29,706
- Yeah. Wait.
- Gene.
191
00:06:29,707 --> 00:06:31,808
- Okay, we should go.
- Yeah.
192
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:34,811
I mean, Chet would be totally
bummed if I wasn't there.
193
00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:36,012
- Yeah.
- Right?
194
00:06:36,013 --> 00:06:37,513
- Yeah.
- I mean, why didn't
195
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,716
- you think of that?
- I didn't think...
196
00:06:39,717 --> 00:06:41,784
- I shouldn't not go.
- So we'll go?
197
00:06:41,785 --> 00:06:42,985
- I'm his best friend.
- Yeah.
198
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,487
- Billie?
- Yes.
199
00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:45,855
It'd be crazy if I wasn't there.
200
00:06:45,856 --> 00:06:47,123
- Okay.
- Wait.
201
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:48,691
Stop doing that, please, okay?
202
00:06:48,692 --> 00:06:50,660
- Okay.
- No.
203
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,061
Pull into the parking lot
over there.
204
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:53,129
I'll meet you outside in ten.
205
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:54,397
Where are you going?
206
00:06:54,398 --> 00:06:56,666
I have to fix this, for Chet.
207
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,902
- Wait, no...
- Ten!
208
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,606
I'm gonna vomit. [grunts]
209
00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:05,375
[relaxing music]
210
00:07:05,376 --> 00:07:06,876
"Pairing suggestions:
211
00:07:06,877 --> 00:07:09,412
lukewarm lentil soup."
212
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:11,815
Where is she?
213
00:07:11,816 --> 00:07:15,051
I'm going to my
grandma's house... me
214
00:07:15,052 --> 00:07:18,521
215
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,391
[music intensifying]
216
00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:24,394
[rock music]
217
00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:27,997
218
00:07:27,998 --> 00:07:30,099
Ho, ah, ah
219
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,668
220
00:07:31,669 --> 00:07:33,269
Ow
221
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:34,804
You look sharp.
222
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,072
Thank you.
223
00:07:36,073 --> 00:07:37,407
I mean, it smells
a little armpit-y,
224
00:07:37,408 --> 00:07:39,108
but that's rental
territory for you.
225
00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:41,311
Where are all my juice boxes?
226
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:46,082
Hey, will you make sure
Chet's coffin doesn't eat me?
227
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,951
Wilhelmina...
228
00:07:47,952 --> 00:07:49,586
- Brown.
- Brown.
229
00:07:49,587 --> 00:07:51,654
Wilhelmina Brown, you're drunk.
230
00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:52,755
I'm not.
231
00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:53,957
You are too.
232
00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:55,125
Prove it.
233
00:07:57,928 --> 00:08:00,797
Name all the states in America
in alphabetical order.
234
00:08:00,798 --> 00:08:02,365
Alabama, Alaska,
Arizona, Arkansas...
235
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:03,533
Reverse order.
236
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:04,767
Wyoming, Wisconsin, West...
237
00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:06,302
Australian accent.
238
00:08:06,303 --> 00:08:07,971
[imitating Australian accent]
West Virginia.
239
00:08:07,972 --> 00:08:09,105
In the style of Anthony Hopkins
240
00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:10,306
in "Legends of the Fall."
241
00:08:10,307 --> 00:08:13,143
[muffled] Virginia, Vermont.
242
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,377
Whistle.
243
00:08:14,378 --> 00:08:16,212
Hoot.
244
00:08:16,213 --> 00:08:17,647
Give me the keys.
245
00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:18,882
Let's do this.
246
00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:20,783
No, you're on that side now.
247
00:08:20,784 --> 00:08:23,620
Whoo, whoo, whoo, hoo.
248
00:08:23,621 --> 00:08:25,121
You drank them all.
249
00:08:25,122 --> 00:08:26,689
- Pshew.
- Selfish.
250
00:08:26,690 --> 00:08:27,824
[relaxing music]
251
00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:29,492
Get in the car, Billie!
252
00:08:29,493 --> 00:08:31,194
- Whoo-whee!
- No, open the do...
253
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:34,197
Oh, gosh, everyone can see.
254
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:36,533
It looks like we're
only eight miles away.
255
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:40,637
Hey, uh, what do you
think about this?
256
00:08:40,638 --> 00:08:42,038
Is this drugs?
257
00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:44,574
What? No.
Have you ever seen drugs?
258
00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:46,743
No, that's my eulogy, stupid.
259
00:08:46,744 --> 00:08:48,144
Read it, stupid.
260
00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:51,981
What are you doing?
261
00:08:51,982 --> 00:08:53,583
"Loaf, poon"...
262
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:56,119
What? "Life, pain."
263
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,656
"Life, pain, all the crazy pain,
264
00:08:59,657 --> 00:09:02,458
"the planet's soul is dog [bleep].
265
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,627
"Way to go, Chet.
266
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:08,765
Way to bust out
of this skin prison."
267
00:09:08,766 --> 00:09:10,600
Well, keep going,
till you get to the sad part.
268
00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:11,968
That's the best part.
269
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:15,305
"You're all gonna
be here someday, dead,
270
00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:17,507
"dead as my best friend, Chet.
271
00:09:17,508 --> 00:09:20,343
"You... point to the oldest
person in the crowd...
272
00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:22,312
will probably die first."
273
00:09:22,313 --> 00:09:24,514
No, the "point
to the oldest person"
274
00:09:24,515 --> 00:09:26,783
is a stage direction.
275
00:09:26,784 --> 00:09:29,586
Oh, yeah, I think we should
tone this down a little bit.
276
00:09:29,587 --> 00:09:31,154
Forget it. It's stupid.
277
00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:32,522
It is not stupid.
278
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:34,757
I mean, it is, but I'll help you.
279
00:09:34,758 --> 00:09:37,627
How are you gonna help me?
You're wasted.
280
00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:38,761
I am not wasted.
281
00:09:38,762 --> 00:09:41,631
If I was wasted, could I do this?
282
00:09:41,632 --> 00:09:43,333
[relaxing music playing]
283
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:45,034
- You didn't do anything.
- Oh.
284
00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:46,302
Panera Bread.
285
00:09:46,303 --> 00:09:49,806
Get out of the way, car!
286
00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:51,374
Now it smells like
Panera soup bowl in here.
287
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,476
Slow down.
288
00:09:53,477 --> 00:09:55,345
I can't. We got to get there.
I'm gonna take a shortcut.
289
00:09:55,346 --> 00:09:57,180
No, we're not that late.
Don't... don't turn.
290
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:59,115
The turn is part
of the shortcut, Billie.
291
00:09:59,116 --> 00:10:01,551
- Rerouting.
- Ooh, ooh, she says no.
292
00:10:01,552 --> 00:10:03,119
Okay, well, I know
better than her, so...
293
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,288
- Turn right.
- Ooh, she caught you.
294
00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:06,890
She's a stupid lady
295
00:10:06,891 --> 00:10:08,892
doing a stupid voice-over
in a stupid booth!
296
00:10:08,893 --> 00:10:10,627
Now shut the [bleep] up
and eat your [bleep] soup
297
00:10:10,628 --> 00:10:12,028
so I can [bleep] drive!
298
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,496
- [tires screech]
- Ooh!
299
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:15,899
[sighing]
300
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,711
[rock music]
301
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:32,248
302
00:10:32,249 --> 00:10:34,450
Ho, ah, ah
303
00:10:34,451 --> 00:10:36,119
304
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,453
Ow
305
00:10:37,454 --> 00:10:45,496
306
00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:50,733
Hey, watch yourself.
307
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:54,404
You'll get joker mouth.
I just cleaned you up.
308
00:10:54,405 --> 00:10:56,906
I'm gonna miss Chet.
309
00:10:56,907 --> 00:11:00,143
He made me feel like
I could walk on water.
310
00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:02,011
He really did want
to sex with you, huh?
311
00:11:02,012 --> 00:11:04,280
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
312
00:11:04,281 --> 00:11:06,950
I wonder if me and...
313
00:11:06,951 --> 00:11:08,618
- Hmm?
- No, no.
314
00:11:08,619 --> 00:11:10,453
Ah.
315
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:11,788
Holy crap.
316
00:11:11,789 --> 00:11:13,756
- What?
- The funeral starts in 20...
317
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,758
No, no, no, ten...
no, ten minutes!
318
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,694
Okay, all right, no more stops
319
00:11:17,695 --> 00:11:19,696
only unless they're completely
necessary, all right?
320
00:11:19,697 --> 00:11:20,997
- Yeah.
- The bare necessities here.
321
00:11:20,998 --> 00:11:22,599
Yeah, yeah, the basic bananas.
322
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,334
Code red, level five-type...
323
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,835
[bleep]. Paint your own ceramics!
324
00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:27,036
Yeah!
325
00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:30,039
[relaxing music]
326
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,110
327
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,112
Nice. It's very primary.
328
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,414
Both:
We're going to a funeral
329
00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:40,583
We ain't suits, we're in suits
330
00:11:40,584 --> 00:11:42,752
We're going to a funeral
331
00:11:42,753 --> 00:11:44,120
-
We ain't
- [spits]
332
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,755
Stop!
333
00:11:45,756 --> 00:11:47,291
[tires screech]
334
00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:52,362
Who would just leave him
out here like this?
335
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,531
He's already dead.
336
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:56,566
Nothing anyone could do.
337
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,301
[melancholy music]
338
00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,036
Billie, Billie,
what are you doing?
339
00:12:00,037 --> 00:12:01,804
- I'm taking him with us.
- Don't touch him.
340
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:04,040
He deserves a proper burial
341
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,243
like a normal, decent coyote!
342
00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:09,779
[sobbing] All he ever
wanted was a friend!
343
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:12,715
All he ever wanted was someone
to say, "Hey, coyote",
344
00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:15,151
I like you. You were nice to me."
345
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,587
Or like, "Hey, don't play Boo
with this big truck, coyote."
346
00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:18,755
"What are you thinking?
347
00:12:18,756 --> 00:12:20,056
"I know you want to win the game,
348
00:12:20,057 --> 00:12:22,325
but there's consequences,
you know?"
349
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:23,993
Exactly.
350
00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,662
Or maybe that was me.
351
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:27,997
Maybe Chet was my one chance
at true love,
352
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,500
and now he's splattered all over
the goddamn asphalt road!
353
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,668
Billie, no.
354
00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:32,902
Don't, Billie! Stop it!
355
00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:35,238
[grunts]
356
00:12:35,239 --> 00:12:37,073
Now, I am sorry for Mr. Coyote.
357
00:12:37,074 --> 00:12:38,575
I am.
358
00:12:38,576 --> 00:12:40,376
But I am not dishonoring
Chet by showing up
359
00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:43,913
with this bloody, disgusting,
freak show of an animal carcass.
360
00:12:43,914 --> 00:12:45,582
361
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:48,585
[music intensifying]
362
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:50,153
363
00:12:50,154 --> 00:12:51,654
Yeah.
364
00:12:51,655 --> 00:12:54,657
[rock music]
365
00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:57,494
366
00:12:57,495 --> 00:12:59,729
Ho, ah, ah
367
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:01,564
368
00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:03,566
Ow
369
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,101
[no audible dialogue]
370
00:13:05,102 --> 00:13:13,143
371
00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:26,097
"And in the last days,
it shall be God declares
372
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,765
"that 'I will pour forth
out my spirit
373
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,301
upon all flesh and your sons,
and your daughters'"...
374
00:13:30,302 --> 00:13:33,571
- This is it. Nice shoes.
- "'Who came up against some'"...
375
00:13:33,572 --> 00:13:35,106
Thank you for your loss.
376
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,741
Is this seat taken?
377
00:13:36,742 --> 00:13:38,643
I like your shoes.
They're very nice.
378
00:13:38,644 --> 00:13:42,146
I'm ecstatic for your loss.
379
00:13:42,147 --> 00:13:43,447
You need to be quiet.
380
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,483
Is one of you Genevieve Russell?
381
00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:47,952
Oh, that's totally me.
The priest knows my name.
382
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,187
How cool is that? How'd you know?
383
00:13:50,188 --> 00:13:52,590
Because this ceremony
ended 15 minutes ago,
384
00:13:52,591 --> 00:13:54,525
and we've been waiting
for a Genevieve Russell
385
00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,460
to deliver the final eulogy.
386
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,763
Oh, shoot. Okay, yeah. Coming.
387
00:13:58,764 --> 00:14:00,464
- Where's the thing?
- What thing?
388
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,033
[whispers] The paper.
389
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:03,768
- The eulogy. Where is it?
- I don't have it.
390
00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:05,570
- I don't have it. Just wing it.
- I can't.
391
00:14:05,571 --> 00:14:07,038
- Just wing it.
- I'm not gonna wing it.
392
00:14:07,039 --> 00:14:08,739
- I'm not a bird.
- Then do it. Go, go.
393
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,675
[whispering] All right.
What's wrong with your voice?
394
00:14:10,676 --> 00:14:13,111
- Why can't you whisper?
- I don't know. I don't know.
395
00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:20,551
Hey, you're the truck
driver guy, right?
396
00:14:20,552 --> 00:14:22,453
You're the guy that killed Chet?
397
00:14:22,454 --> 00:14:23,788
Yes.
398
00:14:23,789 --> 00:14:26,090
I'm so sorry for your loss.
399
00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:28,693
Oh, that's okay, man.
400
00:14:28,694 --> 00:14:32,430
Hey, I, uh...
can I ask you a question?
401
00:14:32,431 --> 00:14:35,199
Were you scared?
402
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,103
Did he scare you, even a bit?
403
00:14:39,104 --> 00:14:40,972
He scared the [bleep] out of me.
404
00:14:40,973 --> 00:14:43,474
Yeah. [chuckles]
405
00:14:43,475 --> 00:14:44,742
Yeah, he did.
406
00:14:44,743 --> 00:14:46,210
- Ma'am?
- Coming.
407
00:14:46,211 --> 00:14:48,079
Whoo! Yay, Gene. Yay, Ge...
408
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,082
Okay. That's enough, Billie.
409
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,316
Hey, everybody.
410
00:14:52,317 --> 00:14:54,652
How's it going?
411
00:14:54,653 --> 00:14:57,822
Um, sorry I'm late.
412
00:14:57,823 --> 00:14:59,991
Not the sort of thing
you want to hurry up and get to,
413
00:14:59,992 --> 00:15:01,292
am I right?
414
00:15:01,293 --> 00:15:04,128
- [laughs]
- [clears throat]
415
00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:07,465
Chet Bingham was a maker of apps
416
00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:10,902
and a lover of shadow
government conspiracy theory.
417
00:15:10,903 --> 00:15:14,538
He was my friend, and I, uh...
418
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,641
I don't have a lot of those,
419
00:15:16,642 --> 00:15:20,978
so losing one is really hard.
420
00:15:20,979 --> 00:15:24,215
He... he was a...
421
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:26,183
Sorry.
422
00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:28,753
He was a... [speaks gibberish]
423
00:15:28,754 --> 00:15:30,521
Yeah.
424
00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:32,890
He was a... [speaking gibberish]
425
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,992
He was a... [speaks gibberish]
426
00:15:34,993 --> 00:15:37,161
[speaking gibberish]
427
00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:40,064
[gasps] To know!
428
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,233
He was a... [speaking gibberish]
429
00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:45,202
- Okay.
- What I'm trying to say is...
430
00:15:45,203 --> 00:15:47,238
[speaking gibberish]
431
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:48,673
Excuse me. Excuse me.
432
00:15:48,674 --> 00:15:50,074
Move, sir. Please.
433
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:52,577
- I got this.
- [speaking gibberish]
434
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:54,111
- Okay.
- [speaks gibberish]
435
00:15:54,112 --> 00:15:56,180
- [mouths words]
- I'm sorry.
436
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,749
I feel like an idiot.
Move your Bible.
437
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,284
- Move your Bible.
- Jesus.
438
00:16:00,285 --> 00:16:02,453
- Hold this with your...
- What?
439
00:16:02,454 --> 00:16:04,655
Hold it with your holy hands.
440
00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:08,125
[clears throat]
441
00:16:08,126 --> 00:16:12,964
I have never seen anyone
try and evade the pain of loss
442
00:16:12,965 --> 00:16:14,999
as much as this woman has today.
443
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,467
- What's up?
- Is it
444
00:16:16,468 --> 00:16:19,170
- because she's a bad person?
- Yes.
445
00:16:19,171 --> 00:16:22,640
No. Is it because
she has the maturity
446
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:24,875
of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle,
447
00:16:24,876 --> 00:16:27,445
a TMNT? No.
448
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:30,681
It is because her heart
449
00:16:30,682 --> 00:16:33,951
is as big as Chet's head
in this poster behind me,
450
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,620
which, if I am not mistaken,
451
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,488
has been sneaking up
this whole time
452
00:16:37,489 --> 00:16:39,390
- trying to push me in the coffin!
- What? No.
453
00:16:39,391 --> 00:16:41,392
- No, sir! You won't have me!
- No. Billie. Someone. Someone.
454
00:16:41,393 --> 00:16:42,960
- Stop it!
- Get her off of there!
455
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,195
- You will never...
- Get her off. Don't...
456
00:16:44,196 --> 00:16:45,296
- Billie.
- I'll kill you!
457
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,330
- Billie!
- [screaming]
458
00:16:46,331 --> 00:16:47,798
Get off of him!
459
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,200
You're not gonna
take me with you!
460
00:16:49,201 --> 00:16:50,368
- Get off of him.
- I'm embarrassed.
461
00:16:50,369 --> 00:16:52,803
I'm embarrassed now, please.
462
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,205
Don't look at me.
463
00:16:54,206 --> 00:16:56,341
Sorry about that scene.
464
00:16:59,578 --> 00:17:02,914
This was Chet's favorite food.
465
00:17:02,915 --> 00:17:05,383
The first time
he had a Gunny Worm,
466
00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:07,985
he said they're almost as good
as the real thing.
467
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:11,889
[melancholy piano music]
468
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:15,560
Enjoy, buddy.
469
00:17:15,561 --> 00:17:18,796
These are croutons
from Chet's favorite chain
470
00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:20,398
restaurant, Panara Bread.
471
00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:22,166
Panera.
472
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:25,770
And this is Chet's
favorite alcohol, boxed wine,
473
00:17:25,771 --> 00:17:28,439
or, as he liked to call it,
the loose juice,
474
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,342
which was always funny when
he said it because of his esses.
475
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:32,977
476
00:17:32,978 --> 00:17:34,612
[lisping] Drink up, sailor.
477
00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:37,014
I know. You're Hank's dad.
478
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,249
Yeah, you are.
479
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,151
And this, this is a plate
480
00:17:40,152 --> 00:17:43,754
that I hand-painted today
at Paint Your Own Ceramics.
481
00:17:43,755 --> 00:17:45,790
It's part of the reason
I was tardy.
482
00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:48,259
That's me with the yellow hair,
483
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,527
and that's Chet,
484
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,829
and we're dancing in the sunset.
485
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:55,866
And I have a glow around me
'cause I've got radiant skin.
486
00:17:55,867 --> 00:18:00,805
And he's got a glow around him
'cause he's a new ghost.
487
00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:01,939
And on the back it says,
488
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,275
"Best Friends Forever,"
489
00:18:04,276 --> 00:18:08,546
'cause I will never have
another friend like Chet again,
490
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:10,848
and I'm really scared about that.
491
00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:12,917
492
00:18:12,918 --> 00:18:14,218
[plate shatters]
493
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,621
Damn it. Okay.
494
00:18:16,622 --> 00:18:18,289
[sighs]
495
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:19,590
I'll miss you, buddy.
496
00:18:19,591 --> 00:18:21,726
Everyone be cool about this.
497
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,060
What? No, Billie, don't.
498
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:27,231
[all gasping]
499
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,966
Should we go?
500
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:32,203
Yeah.
501
00:18:32,204 --> 00:18:34,939
Is there an after-party? Or...
502
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,291
You'll let me know, yeah?
503
00:18:36,776 --> 00:18:37,744
We should get going.
504
00:18:37,748 --> 00:18:39,650
We only have 15 minutes
left to get back.
505
00:18:40,679 --> 00:18:42,213
Yeah, can I just have
a few more minutes alone?
506
00:18:42,214 --> 00:18:44,082
Of course.
507
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:51,756
[sighs]
508
00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,858
What am I gonna do
without you, bud?
509
00:18:53,859 --> 00:18:55,359
Ugh. Leave me alone.
510
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,594
What?
511
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,697
I said leave me alone.
512
00:18:59,698 --> 00:19:01,732
I don't need you, Patrick.
513
00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:03,968
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
514
00:19:03,969 --> 00:19:05,536
Don't pick me up. You know what?
515
00:19:05,537 --> 00:19:08,072
I hope a truck
full of Mexicans come by
516
00:19:08,073 --> 00:19:09,740
and I get G-banged by all of 'em.
517
00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:11,208
And that's on you!
518
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,977
It's not on me! That's on you!
519
00:19:12,978 --> 00:19:14,311
That's what I hope.
520
00:19:14,312 --> 00:19:17,715
Hello? Dang it.
521
00:19:17,716 --> 00:19:21,652
Whatever, you're just mad
because I play saxophone.
522
00:19:21,653 --> 00:19:23,154
Hey.
523
00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:24,255
Hey.
524
00:19:24,256 --> 00:19:25,489
I'm Gene.
525
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,824
I know.
526
00:19:26,825 --> 00:19:30,094
I saw your speech.
527
00:19:30,095 --> 00:19:31,896
- Thanks.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
528
00:19:31,897 --> 00:19:35,166
So what are you doing
after you're done here?
529
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:38,702
Um...
530
00:19:38,703 --> 00:19:40,738
Nothing. What about you?
531
00:19:40,739 --> 00:19:43,340
Oh, I'm on house arrest,
so I got to get home.
532
00:19:43,341 --> 00:19:44,642
Oh.
533
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,177
- You know how it is.
- I know.
534
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,512
But I got an extra seat
in my car.
535
00:19:48,513 --> 00:19:50,314
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
536
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,850
Maybe I could give you a lift or
you can come over and hang out?
537
00:19:52,851 --> 00:19:55,419
- Do I have to wear a seat belt?
- No, man, never.
538
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:56,720
Oh, yes.
539
00:19:56,721 --> 00:19:58,189
Okay, let's do it.
540
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,490
Oh, are you done?
541
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:00,925
I'm my boss.
542
00:20:00,926 --> 00:20:02,493
- You make your own hours?
- Yeah.
543
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:03,727
So what's your name?
544
00:20:03,728 --> 00:20:05,362
Pamela.
545
00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:07,531
Oh. Pamela, how do you feel
about the name Chet?
546
00:20:07,532 --> 00:20:09,066
Don't love it.
547
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:11,202
- Cheddar?
- I don't know.
548
00:20:11,203 --> 00:20:13,204
It's too, like,
"8 Mile," like Eminem.
549
00:20:13,205 --> 00:20:15,673
- Yeah, yeah, I see that.
- Yeah.
550
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,374
How about New Chet?
551
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,009
I really just prefer Pamela.
552
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:22,947
Well, I have the car,
so maybe you go by New Chet.
553
00:20:22,948 --> 00:20:24,215
Did somebody say my name?
554
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:25,516
Oh, there you go. Okay.
555
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,284
- That a girl.
- Yeah.
556
00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:29,386
Both:
We went to a funeral
557
00:20:29,387 --> 00:20:31,989
We ain't suits, we're in suits
558
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,991
All:
We went to a funeral
559
00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:36,895
We ain't suits, we're in suits
560
00:20:38,797 --> 00:20:41,198
Gene, why is the gravedigger
in the back seat?
561
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,134
Oh, that's New Chet.
562
00:20:43,135 --> 00:20:45,202
Don't worry. She's cool.
563
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:48,340
There's a lot
of animal blood back here.
564
00:20:50,275 --> 00:20:52,611
Yeah.
565
00:20:53,446 --> 00:20:54,714
Mind your business.
566
00:20:54,764 --> 00:20:59,314
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