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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,137 323 to 584. 2 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:10,477 You watch "Castle" last night? 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,080 No. Melissa had the flu. 4 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:14,748 Ooh. Can I tell you one thing? 5 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,383 Uhuh, no spoilers, man. 6 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:20,153 - Excuse me. - What the-- 7 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:24,758 Excuse me. How much for sex with both of you, hmm? 8 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:29,496 Also, I'd like to report a stolen pony. 9 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,399 [spits] Come on, Ice Cream, let's go! 10 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:35,202 Andale! 11 00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,803 We're too gangsta for TV 12 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,739 That's why you don't see us 13 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,474 But they still wanna be us 14 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:43,076 Ha ha! 15 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,479 Yes, I'm on my way to the interview, Mom. 16 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:48,682 Yeah, of course I brushed the back of my hair. 17 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,318 Oh, shoot. Hey, Mom, can you Google whether someone 18 00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:54,188 can repossess your car while you're still driving it? 19 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,557 Yeah, but he's still behind me. 20 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,625 I'm on the phone, sir! 21 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,762 Just remember, this is temporary. 22 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,564 This is temporary. This is temporary. 23 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,633 This is temporary. This is temporary. 24 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,769 Hi, um, I'm Billie Brown. 25 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,538 I'm here for the babysitter position. 26 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,774 Oh, um, uh... 27 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:14,807 Yo soy-- 28 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,210 You're the babysitter? 29 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,512 I'm here for the interview,s?. 30 00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:21,081 Yes,s?. Yes. 31 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,482 I'll follow you. 32 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,789 - Yikes. - And is this where you put her? 33 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,524 Yes, in the sitting room. 34 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,226 Hello, hello! 35 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,460 - Welcome! - Hi! 36 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,662 This is our home. Can you believe it? 37 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,197 No, that's great. Hi. 38 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:40,200 - Please, sit. - Oh, that sounds like fun. 39 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,568 It's Wilhelmina, right? 40 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,137 Oh, or Billie. Most people call me Billie. 41 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,607 - Or Bobbie? - Well, no. 42 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,343 This is my lovely wife, Tanzy, and I'm Kent. 43 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,544 Russell, yes. 44 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,813 I just read an article about your new hybrid sports car line. 45 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,414 It's so interesting to read about-- 46 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,350 It makes me uncomfortable 47 00:01:56,383 --> 00:02:00,354 when people tell me things I already know about myself. 48 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,655 So we looked over your r?sum?. 49 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,190 Very impressive. Harvard. 50 00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,625 Both: - Wow. - Mm-hmm. 51 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,659 Oh, thank you, 52 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:06,793 but it makes me uncomfortable 53 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,363 when people tell me things I already know about myself. 54 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,099 [chuckles] I don't understand. 55 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,132 [giggles] 56 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,768 Tanzy, do you understand? 57 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,238 No, I was just thinking about Danny DeVito. 58 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:22,576 "Twins." [both laugh] 59 00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,111 It's funny. 60 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,480 Um, as you probably also noticed, 61 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,582 I don't have a ton of nannying experience, 62 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,117 but I love kids. 63 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,083 I'm sure I'd get along great with your daughter. 64 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,520 Oh, she's not mine. 65 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,122 I've never been pregnant. 66 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,491 I wouldn't be able to drive. 67 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,792 Mmhmm. 68 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,228 Oh, that-- Is that her? 69 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,096 - Wesley Snipes. - Yeah, it is. 70 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,698 Can I be honest with you, Bill? 71 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,134 You know, my--my-- my daughter's a great gal, 72 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,269 but she had some trouble with school. 73 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:50,504 Uh, that's great. 74 00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,406 I taught in grad school, so I could tutor her. 75 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,560 - Oh, that's perfect. - Yeah. 76 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,475 I mean, she has to pass her GED. 77 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,577 I'm sorry? 78 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,179 It was part of the deal I worked out with the judge. 79 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,080 Judge--What judge-- 80 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,047 Now, my daughter has-- How do I put this? 81 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,049 A criminal past... present. 82 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,353 You know, I probably should just let you two meet. 83 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,422 Oh, hey. There she is. 84 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:11,425 [rap music] 85 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:16,430 86 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,098 All this money, all this money 87 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,766 What am I gonna do with all this money? 88 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,635 All this money, all this money 89 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,637 What am I gonna do with all this money? 90 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,706 Oh, [bleep] shoot! 91 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,241 - Am I late? - No, no. 92 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,709 I wanted to make a good first impression. 93 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,544 Is this her? She's gorgeous. 94 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:31,778 Is this your natural skin? Can I touch it? 95 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:32,812 Yeah, no, no. 96 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,813 It's okay. I like guys. 97 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:34,814 Oh, who are you? 98 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,095 This is my daughter, Genevieve. 99 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,117 This is Bobbie. 100 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,485 Oh, you can call me Gene. 101 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,088 Like Eugene Levy, but just the Gene part. 102 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,490 I thought you said your daughter was seven? 103 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,125 Oh, she caught us. 104 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,727 Oh, she caught us, didn't she, Tanzy? 105 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,760 This is a joke. 106 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,663 I don't know. 107 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,266 Yeah, we may have fudged the age a little bit in the ad. 108 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,233 When we said "babysitter," 109 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:57,137 we meant more of a "court-appointed guardian." 110 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:59,104 Is that an ankle monitor? 111 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,274 - What? - Is that... 112 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,775 both: An ankle monitor? 113 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,478 Is that an ankle monitor? 114 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,214 Oh, my gosh. I can do a spot-on impression of her. 115 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,248 Yep. Yep. 116 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,618 Okay, I don't have the background with criminal-- 117 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,354 Come on, Bill. You never had any trouble with the law? 118 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,489 No, no, no. 119 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,458 I-I-I jaywalked once to save a hurt bird. 120 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,194 - Bird. - What are you doing? 121 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:21,728 See? You're practically twins. 122 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,763 Yeah. 123 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,231 It'll be, like, constantly having 124 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,366 a gal-pal to hang around with, 125 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,601 like "Sex and the City." 126 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:28,735 Ooh, I'll be Phoebe. 127 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,071 I look the most like her. You have to give it to me. 128 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,806 - That's "Friends." - Hire her. 129 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,775 Oh, I should check this out first. 130 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,376 What are you doing? No, no, no! 131 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,578 I'm just making sure we don't have 132 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,213 a Mrs. Doubtfire situation on our hands. 133 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,246 Ah. 134 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,382 Bobbie, I'm sorry. 135 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,651 She just saw "Mrs. Doubtfire." 136 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,387 That's okay. I got to go wash my neighbor's house. 137 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,323 Honey. 138 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,463 Robert, I've written a number on this piece of paper. 139 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,665 I think the number might change your mind. 140 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,235 Okay, thank you, Mr. Russell. 141 00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,374 The number's what I'd pay you. 142 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,209 Yes, I got that. Thank you very much. 143 00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,144 Good. 144 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:15,215 [sighs] Aah! 145 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:17,351 Hi. 146 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,752 Oh, my God. 147 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,420 Hi. 148 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,723 How much money it is? 149 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,055 I'm an academic. 150 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,492 Yeah, I mean, I would technically 151 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,227 be teaching her, but, no. 152 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,529 No, you know what? 153 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,363 I'll sell my hair. That's something people do. 154 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,124 Yeah, I'll cut off my hair, and I'll sell it. 155 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,534 I will persevere. 156 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,536 I don't need money. 157 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,605 I mean, how much could it possibly be? 158 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,707 Holy [bleep]! [crash] 159 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,677 [air hissing] 160 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,682 Hey, Billie! 161 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:52,319 I thought about it. You can be Phoebe. 162 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,490 [classical music playing] 163 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,991 164 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,994 [humming] 165 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,865 166 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,467 - What are you doing? - Oh, my God. 167 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,436 Sorry, I was just unpacking, listening to Beethoven. 168 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,871 The dog? 169 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:14,040 Uh, no. The composer. 170 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,842 Deaf. Never mind. 171 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,377 Oh, my gosh, you look so good with short hair. 172 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,412 Oh, that's-- 173 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,913 You should totally rock this again. 174 00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:21,881 That's not me. 175 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,284 That's my--my boy-- my ex-boyfriend, actually. 176 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:28,354 We're on hiatus. I shouldn't-- 177 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,689 Gosh, me too. 178 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:30,923 - Really? - Yeah. 179 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:35,061 I mean, we were, and then he got together with Mariah Carey. 180 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,796 But I think that's off. 181 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,898 Are you talking about Nick Cannon? 182 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,768 I don't want to talk about it. 183 00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:44,504 Point is, it's tough to find someone 184 00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:46,906 who measures up to your dad, right? 185 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,441 What is this? 186 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,443 It's from Mexico. It's an antique. 187 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:51,944 Can I put it on for a second? 188 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,646 - Is this cool? - It's not clothes. 189 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,481 Oh, my God. It fits. 190 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,916 I should totally have this. 191 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,818 Yeah, I'll hang on to it for you. 192 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,453 Oh, yeah. You can borrow it, sure. 193 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:02,488 Thank you. 194 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,023 You really love your dad, huh? 195 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,658 Yeah, he's the frickin' best. 196 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:06,926 Are you kidding me? 197 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,639 He, like, bails me out when I'm in trouble, 198 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,463 and he gets me cool stuff, 199 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,932 and he totally did a commercial with a monkey. 200 00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:15,401 My grandfather died in those. 201 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,435 Can I? 202 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,303 [cell phone ringing] Oh, sh- 203 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:23,307 The acting monkey was like, "Places and set." 204 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,644 - Uh, Moishe's Gold Emporium. - Back to one. 205 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,646 Moishe's Gold Emporium. Uh, wrong number. 206 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,782 I know this before we even talk. Shalom. 207 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,784 Oh, my gosh. 208 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,920 Was that a prank in reverse? 209 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,055 I'm in. I'm totally in. What do I do? 210 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,623 No, I'm-- You're not in. 211 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,526 I'm evading my student loan payments. 212 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,494 What? 213 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,797 I mean, if you owe 'em money, you just pay it. 214 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:47,567 Yeah, but I don't have it. 215 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,936 [laughs] 216 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,338 Very funny. 217 00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:53,973 - Can I have-- - This scarf doesn't work. 218 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,641 It's not a scarf. It's dashiki pants. 219 00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:56,976 What? 220 00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:58,544 It's traditional African garb. 221 00:07:58,578 --> 00:07:59,746 Can I please-- 222 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,280 Is there something in your mouth? 223 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,282 My tongue and my teeth. 224 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,884 It's like you're allergic to saying 'em. 225 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,586 "Daishiki." How do you say it? 226 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,454 - "Da-shiki." - Can I please-- 227 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,287 - Oh, can I have this? - Oh, yeah. 228 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,924 These actually I do want you to pick up. 229 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:15,661 These are these really fun aptitude tests I found 230 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:16,863 that I think we're gonna start out with. 231 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,931 Wait, start me off with what? What are you talking about? 232 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,400 For prepping for the GED. 233 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,902 [laughs] 234 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,537 You got me again. 235 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:26,439 You're good. Burn, sister. 236 00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:28,508 Zzz-zzz. You're on fire. 237 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,842 'Cause you're here to be my friend. 238 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,644 That's why you were hired. 239 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,748 No, I'm being paid to be your teacher. 240 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,484 What? 241 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,820 That's not funny to joke about. 242 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,889 Are your parents going somewhere? 243 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,023 I don't-- 244 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,892 I just got here. They can't-- 245 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,960 Mr. Russell. Mr. Russell. 246 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,996 Oh, hey, Bill. How's the guesthouse? 247 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,328 Oh, it's great. 248 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,965 Are you leaving? Where are you going? 249 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,901 - I don't know-- - You [bleep] my dragons? 250 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,437 Aww. She took her Ambien too early. 251 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,338 No, we are going to Japan 252 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,274 for three days for a breathing workshop. 253 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,644 Yeah, I'm confident you can handle everything. 254 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,579 Just make Gene stays out of trouble. 255 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,279 You're leaving? 256 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,582 Oh, forgot to tell you. 257 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,883 Quick, come give me a hug. 258 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,619 [ankle monitor beeping] Oh, kiddo. 259 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,421 I'll get you next time. 260 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,590 Air hug. 261 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:19,525 Yeah, let's go, Blaine. 262 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,594 No, but wait. I don't know what I'm doing. 263 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,565 Busy guy, huh? 264 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,835 Yeah, he's the best. 265 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:33,573 You know, school doesn't technically start till Monday. 266 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,309 - It is Saturday. - So? 267 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,311 Maybe you could have a couple friends over, 268 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:42,915 pop in a movie-- real chill, low-key style. 269 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,784 Yeah. I mean, I could be down with that. 270 00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:47,754 - Yeah. - Hey! 271 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:51,322 Call me Beethoven, 'cause I can't hear you! 272 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:55,728 [all cheering] Gene! 273 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,730 You said this was just gonna be a couple of fr-- 274 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,532 275 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:00,733 Let 'em know we're here 276 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,901 We going all out 277 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,669 Oh, my God. Okay. 278 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,304 Guys, take whatever you want. 279 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,706 Whatever you can carry, you can take. 280 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,641 Okay. Hey, Gene. 281 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:09,709 Can I talk to you for a second? 282 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:10,810 Huh? No. 283 00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:12,645 Ow! That's my bicep! 284 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,680 My bicep hurts. 285 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,583 Hey, I just wanted to say this is a really cool party. 286 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,752 Someone puked in my hair. I'm having a really fresh time. 287 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,554 Oh, cool. Nice. Really? 288 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,322 No, not really. 289 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,690 Someone puked in my hair. 290 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:25,992 I'm not having a fresh time. 291 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,760 That's a wonderful thing to happen. 292 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,762 It's like a bird [bleep] on you. It's good luck. 293 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,030 If you don't get rid of these people, 294 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,465 I'm gonna call the police. 295 00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,498 Eh! 296 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:34,834 Okay, well, calling the police 297 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,969 would be the least fresh thing you could do. 298 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,303 Do you hear me? Top of the list. 299 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,942 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 300 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,744 Um, are you okay? 301 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:45,978 Yes, I will sleep with you. 302 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,311 What? No, no. 303 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,874 Why does everyone want to touch my face? 304 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,982 Hey, bud. How's it going? 305 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,651 I didn't know you were here. 306 00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,920 Billie, this is Chet. He's my best non-sexual friend. 307 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,788 He lives next door. He's got a big fanny. 308 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,658 I don't. I have a normal-sized fanny. 309 00:10:58,691 --> 00:10:59,926 Oh, okay. Will you excuse me? 310 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,360 The puke that's in my hair 311 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,831 is running down my body and filling my shoes. 312 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,699 What is happening to me right now? 313 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:07,733 What? 314 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,535 I think I have a girlfriend. 315 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,971 Well, news report--your girlfriend is totally not cool. 316 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,274 She was cool for, like, a hot second, and then-- 317 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,610 You know what? 318 00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:19,746 I think we just need to give her a little push. 319 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:20,979 - I'll give her a push. - Yeah. 320 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,348 - In the bush. - No. 321 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,449 With my penis. 322 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,418 No, I think I have a better idea. 323 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,887 Okay. But the penis plan is still on the table, right? 324 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:28,955 - The penis plan? - Yeah. 325 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,356 It's solid. 326 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,289 I mean, I feel like it's foolproof. 327 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,026 - Right? - Yeah. 328 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:34,894 Sizzurp! 329 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,896 Oh, nice. Do you want some salad? 330 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,331 - Yeah, I would love some. - Yeah. 331 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,600 Please leave. 332 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,502 People live here, and I need to clean the kitchen. 333 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,703 We live here. Oh, my God. 334 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,972 Oh, God! 335 00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:48,740 Don't be racist. 336 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,176 I wasn't--I didn't-- 337 00:11:51,209 --> 00:11:52,844 I'm not being racist-- 338 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,113 Billie. I see you met Ting Poo. 339 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:56,815 Oh, my God. 340 00:11:56,848 --> 00:12:01,019 Why is there a ponytail in the sink? 341 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,087 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. 342 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,622 Slow your brain wheels. 343 00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:04,656 You're freaking out. 344 00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:07,092 Hey, I've got an idea. Let me French-kiss you. 345 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,693 - No! - What? 346 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,195 Gene, you said this was just gonna be 347 00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:11,997 a couple of girlfriends. 348 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:14,833 Yeah. Relax. I've got it under control, okay? 349 00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:16,835 If anyone gets out of line, Ting Poo has a gun. 350 00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:18,303 You have a gun? 351 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:20,338 Don't worry. It always jams. 352 00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:23,141 The whole reason we did this 353 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,677 was 'cause you wanted me to have a fresh time, 354 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,779 but I'm not having a fresh time 355 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,214 unless you're having a fresh time, okay? 356 00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,717 So let's raise our glasses, yes... 357 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:32,918 I don't want to have a fresh-- 358 00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:34,286 For a toast. 359 00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:36,788 To my new babysitter... 360 00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,890 [voice breaking] And my new friend. 361 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,726 I'm sorry. I'm a little choked up. 362 00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:41,993 My new friend. 363 00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:43,195 To Billie. 364 00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:45,330 That's so sweet. That's very sweet. 365 00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:48,033 I don't really want a drink, so... 366 00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,201 - Do it. - Okay. 367 00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:50,836 She has a neat butt. 368 00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:52,871 - Keep going. - Oh. 369 00:12:52,904 --> 00:12:56,208 Hey! 370 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,613 Call my Beethoven 'cause... 371 00:13:01,646 --> 00:13:04,883 I love classical music. 372 00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:07,819 Don't you? 373 00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:09,821 - Yeah! - Yeah! 374 00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,621 [all cheering] 375 00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:14,624 [hip-hop music] 376 00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:18,196 377 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:21,033 Ting Poo's Dry Cleaners. No Billie here. 378 00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,802 [both laughing] 379 00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:31,343 380 00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:33,111 Drink or die, babes! 381 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,813 [all cheering] 382 00:13:34,846 --> 00:13:36,982 Oh, I do the best Austin Powers. You ready for this? 383 00:13:37,015 --> 00:13:37,883 Yeah. 384 00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:39,684 [badly imitating Austin Powers] Oh, baby! 385 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,586 Oh, that's so good. How's mine? 386 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,855 [British accent] Cheers, baby, all right! 387 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:45,588 It's good. You could work on it a little bit. 388 00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:46,590 389 00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:48,126 Black Eyed Peas! 390 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,728 All: Black Eyed Peas! 391 00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,163 Black Eyed Peas! 392 00:13:51,196 --> 00:13:53,065 Black Eyed Peas! 393 00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,199 Black Eyed Peas! 394 00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:56,034 We're gonna live forever! 395 00:13:56,068 --> 00:14:03,842 396 00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:05,310 - Joy! - Joy! 397 00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:06,945 We're out of rum, baby. 398 00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,647 Hey, baby! 399 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,182 Both: We're out of rum, baby! 400 00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:16,321 401 00:14:16,354 --> 00:14:19,091 She is breathtaking. 402 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:20,826 Get it, girl! 403 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,828 Get it just like Meg Ryan would. 404 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:26,098 Yeah, peyote's not for lightweights. 405 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:27,733 I was halfway through a hot dog 406 00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,935 before I realized it was a Coca-Cola bottle. 407 00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:31,634 Don't feel bad about that. 408 00:14:31,636 --> 00:14:33,138 That's totally a thing. Switch? 409 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:35,140 Yeah. 410 00:14:35,173 --> 00:14:36,875 I really don't think this is how you play Apples to Apples. 411 00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:40,912 No, it is. Right, Ting Poo? 412 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,248 Can I be honest with you guys? 413 00:14:43,281 --> 00:14:46,718 I write "Ladyhawke" fanfiction. 414 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,086 Oh. 415 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,821 As well, I'm having a great time at the party. 416 00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:51,890 Thank you, Gene, for the wine glass. 417 00:14:51,923 --> 00:14:52,991 I needed it. 418 00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,227 "And thank you, Chet, for putting a roofie in it." 419 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:58,764 - You're welcome. - Chet. 420 00:14:58,797 --> 00:14:59,998 What? 421 00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,833 You aren't supposed to tell her. 422 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:04,069 Tell me what? 423 00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:06,805 Where's the bathroom? 424 00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:09,107 It's cool. She doesn't know. 425 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,910 She can hear you. 426 00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:13,645 Hear what? 427 00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:16,648 That we roofied you. 428 00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:20,886 Oh. 429 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:23,321 Where's the bathroom? 430 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,991 Off limits, and you know why. 431 00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:30,962 [birds chirping] Billie. 432 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,632 - Billie. - Hey. 433 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:35,934 Hey. How you doing? 434 00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:37,302 I'm good. 435 00:15:37,335 --> 00:15:40,038 Wow. That was a crazy party last night. 436 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:44,009 - Yeah. - What is that? 437 00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:46,211 - Okay. - What is that? 438 00:15:46,244 --> 00:15:48,213 Okay, okay. Don't freak out, 439 00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:50,315 but remember when Chet and I roofied your drink? 440 00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:51,750 We actually "hoofied" your drink, 441 00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,086 which is half roofie, half horse tranquilizer. 442 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,687 Anyhoo, you've been in and out of consciousness 443 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:56,955 the past couple days. 444 00:15:56,988 --> 00:15:58,290 Also... 445 00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:02,227 Angelina Jolie killed Brad Pitt. 446 00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,595 What? 447 00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:05,597 Psych. He's still alive. 448 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,231 My dad always said to say something crazy 449 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,967 at the end of bad news to soften the blow. 450 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,769 Okay, excuse me, ma'am. 451 00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:12,304 Hi. Can you help me with this? 452 00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:15,240 All right, I don't mind. 453 00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:16,808 Do you want me to do it? 454 00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:17,843 Do you want me to pull it for you? 455 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,077 No. 456 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,612 Oh, I'm gonna be sick. 457 00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:22,280 That was so gross. 458 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,715 Wait. Where are you-- What are you doing? 459 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:25,283 - Where are you going? - I'm quitting. 460 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,686 What? Why? 461 00:16:27,719 --> 00:16:29,755 Because you gave me a date-rape drug 462 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:32,224 and put me in a coma! 463 00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:35,127 And? 464 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,628 And? 465 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:37,929 And? 466 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,732 - And? - And? 467 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:41,933 - And? - And? 468 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:43,201 Both: And? 469 00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,037 What else did you do? 470 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,272 Oh, I thought we were playing a game. 471 00:16:47,305 --> 00:16:49,241 - Ugh. - Billie, look, look, 472 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,209 I'm really, really sorry. This is totally my bad. 473 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:52,744 I wanted you to have a good time, 474 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:53,678 and I just took it too far. 475 00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:55,747 I totally get that now, okay? Let's move on. 476 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,015 Maybe we can pick on Joy. 477 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,784 Joy! Joy, get in here! 478 00:16:58,817 --> 00:16:59,951 There's something wrong with you, you know that? 479 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,888 There is something mentally amiss. 480 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,656 Okay, you know what we're doing? 481 00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,825 We're all focusing on the bad stuff. 482 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,593 Maybe let's focus on the good stuff I've done for you. 483 00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:09,628 Like what? 484 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,196 Like while you were out 485 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:12,964 and your student loan people kept calling, 486 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,166 and I paid it off. 487 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,102 You answered my phone and paid my loans? 488 00:17:17,135 --> 00:17:19,871 Yeah. That's why they call me The Generous General. 489 00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:22,941 That is my loan, and I will work to pay it off. 490 00:17:22,974 --> 00:17:25,844 You know what? I feel-- I feel bad for you. I do. 491 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,713 No one ever gets mad at you, do they? 492 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,016 No, 'cause no one ever expects anything from you, yeah. 493 00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,018 Well, that is not me, Gene, okay? 494 00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:38,824 I am not just a problem that you can throw money at. 495 00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,826 Who put this money in my wallet? 496 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:43,061 Nurse! 497 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,796 Take this one, take this one, take this one for me. 498 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,966 Take this one. It's clearly the nurse's money. 499 00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:50,602 So, just tell your dad I'm sorry. 500 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:52,738 He'll be back tomorrow, but I quit. 501 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,607 Oh, no, they're--they're coming back in a couple weeks. 502 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,908 My dad Tweeted. 503 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,077 They're going to, like, Cannies Film Festival. 504 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,112 You mean Cannes? 505 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,647 Oh, right. Stupid. 506 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:06,017 Goodbye, Gene. 507 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,687 Uh, I was gonna go to the mall later 508 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,924 if she doesn't-- Jesus. 509 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,260 Here. 510 00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:17,562 - Is that enough? - Yep. 511 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,932 - Billie! - What? Go back! 512 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,900 - Billie! - Go back! 513 00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:24,369 - Your brakes! - What? 514 00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,237 I cut your brakes! 515 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,839 [tires screech] 516 00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:29,440 No, you didn't. 517 00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:31,042 I'm coming with you. 518 00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:33,344 Gene, you can't. Your ankle monitor. 519 00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:34,879 I don't care! 520 00:18:34,912 --> 00:18:37,048 No one has ever talked to me the way you just did... 521 00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:39,851 like you want me to be a better person or something. 522 00:18:39,884 --> 00:18:41,986 I'm scared of everything. 523 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:46,124 I'm scared of what I saw, of what I did, of who I am. 524 00:18:46,157 --> 00:18:49,193 And mostly I'm scared of walking out of this room 525 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:50,895 and never feeling my whole life 526 00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:53,164 the way I feel when I'm with you. 527 00:18:53,197 --> 00:18:56,401 That is verbatim Baby's speech to Patrick Swayze 528 00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:58,236 from "Dirty Dancing." 529 00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,004 Yes, it is, and then they have amazing dance sex. 530 00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,372 Oh, my God, remember when she goes behind him 531 00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:02,540 and grabs his butt? 532 00:19:02,573 --> 00:19:03,975 It was, like, role reversal. 533 00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:05,243 Totally. Whoo. 534 00:19:05,276 --> 00:19:07,478 - Say you'll stay. - No! 535 00:19:07,512 --> 00:19:10,114 No, look, I am not Patrick Swayze, Gene. 536 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,883 I am the older, disapproving sister 537 00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:13,251 who never did another movie. 538 00:19:13,284 --> 00:19:14,419 Yes, she did. 539 00:19:14,452 --> 00:19:16,287 She played Kevin's mom in "Dishdogz." 540 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,822 - Sounds made up. - Google it. 541 00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:18,656 "Dishdogz" with a Z. [siren wailing] 542 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:21,225 You hear that, Gene? That's for you. 543 00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:23,027 Maybe it's not, Billie. 544 00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:24,896 Maybe it's for Angelina Jolie. 545 00:19:24,929 --> 00:19:28,433 Maybe she did murder Brad Pitt. 546 00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:30,201 - God damn it! - What are you doing? 547 00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:31,502 - Move. - Oh. 548 00:19:31,536 --> 00:19:33,404 Move again. 549 00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:35,273 Get off your bike. 550 00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:38,242 We're going to get you home. Help me! 551 00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:40,912 Oh, okay. What is in here, rocks? 552 00:19:41,145 --> 00:19:43,314 Drop it, drop it, drop it. 553 00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:44,347 [police radio chatter] 554 00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:45,516 Oh, [bleep]! 555 00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:46,751 Okay, follow my lead. 556 00:19:46,784 --> 00:19:50,721 Be invisible. Go, go, go. 557 00:19:50,755 --> 00:19:52,657 Oh, farts, Billie. 558 00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:54,792 - I'll handle this. - What? What are you doing? 559 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,260 I'm just gonna go talk to them 560 00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:58,463 and explain what happened-- it's no big deal. 561 00:19:58,496 --> 00:20:01,766 The only excuse for breaking probation is an emergency. 562 00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,435 - Wait a minute. - What? 563 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:05,703 Gene... 564 00:20:05,736 --> 00:20:08,539 what are you doing? 565 00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:10,508 Oh, good idea. 566 00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,310 We'll brain the cops. 567 00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:15,446 We'll stone 'em to death. We'll both go to prison! 568 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,148 Oh, Billie, no. 569 00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:20,017 Better idea-- break my hand. 570 00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:22,086 What? That's so much crazier. 571 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,387 I'm not gonna break your hand. 572 00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:26,624 Billie! Break my [bleep] hand, Billie. 573 00:20:26,657 --> 00:20:28,359 - No! - If you love me, 574 00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:31,529 if you're my best friend, you will break my hand. 575 00:20:31,562 --> 00:20:33,097 I just met you. 576 00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,651 If it doesn't look like an emergency, 577 00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:35,766 we both go to jail. 578 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,568 I don't think that's true. 579 00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:40,037 It is. I need you, Billie. 580 00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:43,074 Do it, Billie. Do it. 581 00:20:43,107 --> 00:20:45,610 Oh, God. This is temporary. 582 00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:46,777 Tell me when it's over. 583 00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:48,579 Let me know once you've broken my hand. 584 00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:53,084 Oh, God! [both screaming] 585 00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:57,288 Call me Polo, shorty 586 00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:01,159 [rap music] 587 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,495 Make sure-- Excuse me. 588 00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,597 What are you-- What's happening? 589 00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:08,065 Just trying to check to make sure 590 00:21:08,298 --> 00:21:09,733 we don't have a Mrs. Doubtfire situation. 591 00:21:09,766 --> 00:21:11,134 Ah, I see. 592 00:21:11,168 --> 00:21:12,636 - That's fair, right? - Yeah, that's fair. 593 00:21:12,669 --> 00:21:14,571 You just saw that movie. That's great. 594 00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:16,073 - I loved it! - Yeah. 595 00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:17,227 - Have you seen it? - Uh-huh. 596 00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:21,827 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40845

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