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Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of
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a live studio audience.
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
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00:00:07,223 --> 00:00:08,755
What? What happened?
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00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:11,725
I think our cute new neighbor,
Jack, just saw me naked.
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Oh, no. How?
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00:00:13,929 --> 00:00:15,229
Well, I had just gotten out of the shower
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and I was air drying, and what
comes on the radio?
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00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,315
Dancing Queen.
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You know I can't resist dancing
to Dancing Queen,
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no one can!
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00:00:21,854 --> 00:00:23,854
Well, are you sure he saw you?
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Oh, I don't know.
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I'm not quite sure he can
actually see into our house.
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Well, I know I can see into his.
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00:00:29,361 --> 00:00:31,328
Hey, wait, what are you
looking at Jack for?
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00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:33,163
No, no, no, I called dibs.
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00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,666
I've been praying for a cute guy
to move in across the street,
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00:00:35,701 --> 00:00:37,201
and a cute guy did move in
across the street,
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so God gave him to me.
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Oh, don't worry, I'm not poaching.
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I just noticed his hot,
shirtless contractor.
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Oh! So you're looking at men again.
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This is a good sign.
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Well, I'm not ready to get
back to anything serious,
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but maybe a little fling to get me started.
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00:00:53,852 --> 00:00:55,552
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Like the first waffle.
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- Waffle?
- Yeah, when you make waffles,
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the first one's never a keeper
so you throw it out, and...
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every one after that just seems better.
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Oh.
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I think I might have been that
waffle to a few men.
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Oh, hey, Victoria, how'd the
first day on your new show go?
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It was terrifying.
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I still don't know what this show is about
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or how to play my character.
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I mean, yeah, it's a Zed Simms
script so, of course,
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00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:25,415
it must be brilliant.
I mean, you guys read it.
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Oh, yeah, yeah. It's genius.
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So cerebral.
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- Mmm, complex.
- So many layers.
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Oh, my God, you don't understand it either.
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And tomorrow is my big scene, you know,
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the one where I talk to the ghost.
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- I thought you were the ghost.
- Wait, there's a ghost?
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Oh, you see!
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I just won an Oscar!
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But if I am not good at this,
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then everyone will say that it was a fluke.
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God, it was so much easier doing
lifetime original movies.
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Everything I needed to know
about my character
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was in the title.
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Soccer Mom Prostitute.
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Forty and Flirty.
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Tammy Lee Boudreau: The PMS Strangler.
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"It's that time of the month... To die!"
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What has six legs, four breasts,
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and is hosting a cocktail party tonight?
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Oh, oh, wait, wait, let me do
this, I love riddles.
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She's talking about us.
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And why are we throwing you a party?
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Because I want to be
president of city council.
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I need to get my agenda through.
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What is your agenda?
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Zoo funding and road repair.
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Doesn't the president also get
to ride with LeBron
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in the Christmas parade?
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Does she?
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Elka just needs to sway
councilman Stoke's vote.
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He's undecided, so I'm guessing
he's the reason
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we're having a party tonight?
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We're doing it the old-fashioned way...
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strong liquor and loose women.
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You're not the strong liquor.
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Actually, a party is not a bad idea.
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I can invite Zed,
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and in a casual, alcohol-fueled
environment,
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find out what the hell the show is about.
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And we can invite Jack,
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and in a casual, alcohol-fueled
environment,
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you can find out if he saw me naked.
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I'll go and invite him now.
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While I'm there I might run into
the cute contractor.
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Hey, can you see through my blouse?
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Mm, nope.
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Oh, shoot, I'll just have to make it work.
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[Upbeat music]
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Synced and corrected by oykubuyuk
www.addic7ed.com
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ba-ba, ba-ba
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hey!
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Wow, that was hot.
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So, my band's playing tonight.
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I play tenor and alto sax.
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I like to say I'm bi-saxual.
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I get it.
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So are you gonna come?
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Dylan, what we had was fun,
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but while we were talking I realized
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it was only supposed to last
right up until now.
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So this was just sex?
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Exactly.
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00:04:13,502 --> 00:04:15,919
But what about the skylight
you wanted me to put in?
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Oh, Dylan, sweet Dylan.
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There was never actually
going to be a skylight.
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Don't you just love that
feeling right before a party
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where anything is possible?
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Soon Jack will be here
and Joy will find out
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if he's seen me naked.
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And he might reply,
"why, yes, and she's beautiful.
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And I will not rest until I make her mine."
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Have you started drinking already?
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Just a little bit.
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But you know I get nervous
before a party, because...
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anything's possible!
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Can we concentrate on what's important?
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Like you in a parade with LeBron?
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I don't want to be stuck on some nerd float
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called "Salute to Reading."
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[Phone chimes]
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Wow, another one.
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00:05:13,028 --> 00:05:15,278
Why are you getting so many texts?
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I joined Sinder, the hookup app.
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Why are you on Sinder?
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Because I realized I like
throwing out waffles.
126
00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:30,827
I am done holding out for
romance and happily ever after.
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That just leads to heartbreak.
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00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:36,833
On Sinder, I can order my men
the way I order my shoes.
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Six at a time?
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00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:50,430
Hey, Jack, hold up!
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00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:51,982
Oh, hello, Dylan.
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00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:54,601
Is it too bold to bring
Zinfandel to a party?
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Just to say, "friendly new neighbor."
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Or "unchained party animal."
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00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:02,025
Dude, you should've just
brought a bottle of wine.
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00:06:02,077 --> 00:06:04,160
Hey, would you give this to Joy for me?
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00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:06,162
It's the address of the club I'm
playing tonight.
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00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:07,531
I'd give it to her myself but
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00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,199
things are a little awkward between us.
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00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,450
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
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00:06:10,502 --> 00:06:12,869
Yeah, we had a good thing
going there for a while,
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if you know what I mean.
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00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:15,505
I know exactly what you mean.
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I actually saw the two of you
through Joy's window.
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Really?
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Sorry to say, yes.
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First time I've seen naked women
copulating through a window.
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And I have to say, I was not a fan.
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Guess you had to be there.
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00:06:35,611 --> 00:06:37,811
Wow, Victoria Chase!
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I've never met a celebrity before.
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Feels good!
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00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:44,818
How does it feel to meet me?
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And you are?
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00:06:47,456 --> 00:06:49,072
Oh, sorry, I'm Jack.
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00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,240
New neighbor.
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00:06:51,743 --> 00:06:55,245
Oh, by the way, congratulations
on the new HBO show.
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00:06:55,247 --> 00:06:56,379
Oh, thank you.
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00:06:56,415 --> 00:07:00,166
What's it about?
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00:07:00,218 --> 00:07:02,719
I... I can't say.
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00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:04,387
I honestly can't say.
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00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,308
Oh, look how cute he is.
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"She searched the world for romance,
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only to find he was right across
the street."
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Would you stop narrating your
life like you're in a rom-com?
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"And with the help of her
quirky, British roommate,"
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Melanie.
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00:07:20,772 --> 00:07:21,738
Kate Beckinsale.
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00:07:21,773 --> 00:07:23,823
Gogon.
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"She found the information she
needed to put love
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on its true course."
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Now, we are destined for each other
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00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:30,413
so go find out if he saw me naked.
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00:07:33,285 --> 00:07:36,536
Hey, Elka, has councilman
Stokes come by yet?
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00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,788
I guess he's running late.
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00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,206
So what does he look like?
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00:07:40,258 --> 00:07:45,629
Bland, beige... Kind of blends
in with the furniture.
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00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:46,930
Hello, Elka.
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Councilman Stokes.
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My God, you light up a room.
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Oh, Zed, I'm glad you could make it.
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00:07:57,526 --> 00:07:58,975
Wow.
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A Cleveland party.
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00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:05,231
Take it in, Zed. Take it in.
185
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:06,733
So, Victoria,
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00:08:06,785 --> 00:08:08,902
you mentioned that you wanted to
talk to me about something.
187
00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:10,487
Oh, well first of all I just want to say
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00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:12,989
how much I love your show and my character.
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00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,874
Good. I'm excited to see what
you're going to do with her
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00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:17,410
tomorrow. Such an important scene.
191
00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:20,497
- Yeah, uh, about that...
- [Phone rings]
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00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:22,832
One second.
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00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,834
Hello?
194
00:08:24,886 --> 00:08:26,836
Yes, yes, I'm sure.
195
00:08:26,838 --> 00:08:29,422
Ok. Goodbye.
196
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:30,724
I just fired Ben Kingsley.
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00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:32,425
What? But why?
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00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:34,928
He was my love interest.
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00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,097
Right?
200
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,432
We'll get another one.
He asks too many questions.
201
00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:41,484
There's nothing more tiresome
than explaining plot
202
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,988
and character to a brainless actor.
203
00:08:45,023 --> 00:08:47,273
So what were you saying?
204
00:08:47,325 --> 00:08:49,075
Nothing.
205
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,027
Uh, it's just my friend, Melanie.
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00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:54,998
You know, I've been explaining
the show to her repeatedly
207
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:58,034
and knowledgably, but she
just doesn't get it.
208
00:08:58,036 --> 00:09:01,254
So you invited me to this
party to explain my show
209
00:09:01,289 --> 00:09:03,873
to your dumb friend?
210
00:09:03,925 --> 00:09:08,378
What if I told you that she
thinks you're really hot?
211
00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,797
I'm listening.
212
00:09:10,849 --> 00:09:12,132
I do love our street.
213
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,384
But I have noticed, from some rooms,
214
00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:17,053
we have an unobstructed
view into your house.
215
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:19,189
I suppose it follows that you also...
216
00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:21,057
I think I know where
you're going with this.
217
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:22,776
Yes, I saw through the window.
218
00:09:22,811 --> 00:09:24,144
I didn't mean to, but I did.
219
00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:27,147
Oh, ok. Not a problem.
220
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,783
Can I ask exactly how much you saw?
221
00:09:29,818 --> 00:09:32,235
Everything.
222
00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:33,737
I see.
223
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:37,624
Well, it's no big deal, it's just flesh.
224
00:09:37,659 --> 00:09:41,745
Is there any chance you liked what you saw?
225
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,913
What?
226
00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,498
No, I didn't like it.
227
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,500
It was weird.
228
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:48,551
Weird?
229
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:51,087
Well, what does that mean?
230
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:53,807
Do you have anything unusual
going on under your clothes?
231
00:09:53,842 --> 00:09:56,593
No. I look good under my clothes.
232
00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:59,345
Maybe he saw your mole mass.
233
00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:02,432
It's not a mole mass! It's three moles.
234
00:10:02,484 --> 00:10:04,400
My mom said they were angel kisses.
235
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:07,937
Those angels had some big ass lips.
236
00:10:12,532 --> 00:10:14,032
Melanie. I need you to talk to
Zed about the show.
237
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:16,000
Now, I can't do it, he'll fire me.
238
00:10:16,036 --> 00:10:19,337
He just fired Ben Kingsley
for asking too many questions.
239
00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:23,458
I can't talk to Zed until I find
out what Jack meant by "weird."
240
00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:24,842
[Phone chimes]
241
00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:28,545
Look, I got another Sinder match.
242
00:10:28,581 --> 00:10:31,799
Of all the guys with face
tattoos, he seems the nicest.
243
00:10:36,088 --> 00:10:37,554
- Jack?
- Hey.
244
00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:42,426
So, um, Joy tells me that you
may have seen something weird
245
00:10:42,428 --> 00:10:44,762
through our window this morning.
246
00:10:44,814 --> 00:10:46,430
Yes, unfortunately I did.
247
00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:48,015
Was it really that bad?
248
00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:51,685
Truly unsettling.
249
00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:54,238
No good place to look, you know?
250
00:10:54,273 --> 00:10:55,939
No good place?
251
00:10:55,991 --> 00:10:57,608
In a word, "ugh!"
252
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:01,111
- "Ick?"
- Mm.
253
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:06,784
Have you seen Councilman Stokes?
254
00:11:06,786 --> 00:11:09,620
Hello, Elka.
255
00:11:09,672 --> 00:11:11,922
Oh, councilman Stokes.
256
00:11:11,957 --> 00:11:14,458
Life of the party.
257
00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:16,593
Hello, I'm Victoria Chase.
258
00:11:16,629 --> 00:11:19,096
I know I saw you in Cleveland Rhapsody.
259
00:11:19,131 --> 00:11:21,348
It was the night my fiancee and I broke up.
260
00:11:21,384 --> 00:11:25,719
I'm sorry but seeing you is
bringing back very bad memories.
261
00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:30,107
Try seeing her every day.
262
00:11:30,142 --> 00:11:31,975
Get lost, Victoria.
263
00:11:33,279 --> 00:11:35,028
Maybe I should go too.
264
00:11:35,064 --> 00:11:37,614
With all the single women at this party?
265
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:39,066
Here comes one now.
266
00:11:39,118 --> 00:11:41,652
Can you believe he saw my naked body
267
00:11:41,704 --> 00:11:43,821
and all he could say was "ick?"
268
00:11:43,873 --> 00:11:46,407
It must have been my mole mass.
269
00:11:48,377 --> 00:11:50,661
Who else you got?
270
00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:54,715
So, Zed, I like your top.
271
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:59,052
Um, tunic. Man-shirt.
I like your man-shirt.
272
00:11:59,088 --> 00:12:01,722
So, I understand you have some
questions about my show.
273
00:12:01,757 --> 00:12:05,509
Yes. I do. But, before we get to that, um,
274
00:12:05,561 --> 00:12:09,062
if you were directing a scene
where a man sees a naked woman
275
00:12:09,098 --> 00:12:13,567
through a window, and that woman
just happened to look like me,
276
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,904
would that man's reaction ever be "ick?"
277
00:12:16,939 --> 00:12:18,689
No way. That wouldn't happen.
278
00:12:18,741 --> 00:12:20,240
You're too beautiful.
279
00:12:20,276 --> 00:12:22,659
Oh, Zed, thank you.
280
00:12:22,695 --> 00:12:25,446
But, if it did happen.
281
00:12:25,498 --> 00:12:27,164
Well, then the lighting was wrong.
282
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:30,367
Improper lighting can
absolutely demolish beauty.
283
00:12:30,369 --> 00:12:31,452
Really?
284
00:12:31,504 --> 00:12:32,703
Well, can you come into my bedroom
285
00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:36,507
and look at me at every angle?
286
00:12:36,542 --> 00:12:39,710
We can test out different positions.
287
00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:41,762
I might even dance a little.
288
00:12:45,801 --> 00:12:49,303
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm game.
289
00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:52,389
I'll go get us some drinks.
290
00:12:55,394 --> 00:12:58,729
I guess what I'm looking for
is a girl who's smart,
291
00:12:58,731 --> 00:13:02,566
and sweet, maybe a little shy.
292
00:13:02,618 --> 00:13:04,568
I see where you're going but...
293
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:08,906
I don't date coworkers.
- [Chuckles]
294
00:13:08,908 --> 00:13:10,908
What I'm looking for doesn't exist anymore.
295
00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:13,961
And old fashioned girl
with old fashioned values.
296
00:13:15,548 --> 00:13:17,915
I know just the girl.
297
00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:20,968
You said I was a demure English rose?
298
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,836
And virgin.
299
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:25,172
Now go sell it.
300
00:13:25,224 --> 00:13:27,674
I am tired of you pimping me out.
301
00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:29,309
It's not pimping.
302
00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:31,929
I'm asking you not to sleep with him.
303
00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:35,015
For Cleveland.
304
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:38,685
Well, I guess you did save the
dog parks and
305
00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:41,021
bring a lot of jobs to the city.
306
00:13:41,073 --> 00:13:42,606
And you've done a lot for the zoo.
307
00:13:42,658 --> 00:13:46,109
I named that old baboon after you.
308
00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:48,278
You said it was a baby Snow leopard.
309
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,863
Oh, that's right.
310
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,242
And when I saw 40 Year Old Virgin I thought,
311
00:13:55,244 --> 00:13:59,212
"finally, someone's telling my story."
312
00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:05,052
Elka was right, you really are
a demure English rose.
313
00:14:05,087 --> 00:14:09,256
Oh, Councilman. You make me blush.
314
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:11,808
Maybe it makes me old fashioned
315
00:14:11,844 --> 00:14:14,928
but I guess I'm just a girl
looking for love.
316
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,765
Someone to live happily ever after with.
317
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:23,737
White picket fence. Kids and
dogs playing in the yard.
318
00:14:23,772 --> 00:14:25,939
That sounds really nice.
319
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:28,108
It does, doesn't it?
320
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,744
The problem in the real world
is people just want to
321
00:14:30,779 --> 00:14:32,662
hookup on Tinder.
322
00:14:32,698 --> 00:14:34,998
Or worse, Sinder.
323
00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:37,084
Thank God you're nothing like that.
324
00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:40,120
Sex without love, ha, it's just sad!
325
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:44,541
[Saxophone playing]
326
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:45,959
Oh, dear God.
327
00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:48,678
Why is there a man in your
driveway playing saxophone?
328
00:14:48,714 --> 00:14:50,180
Let's go inside.
329
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,016
Who was that?
330
00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:54,718
I have no idea.
331
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,470
Let me show you the back garden.
332
00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:57,804
Joy!
333
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,524
I know this morning you said you
were just using me for sex
334
00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:02,976
but I have feelings.
335
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,644
I'm not a piece of meat.
336
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:08,281
I thought he was a waffle.
337
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:15,622
You slept with this man this morning?
338
00:15:15,657 --> 00:15:19,409
I'll say. With the curtains wide open.
339
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,794
What?
340
00:15:20,829 --> 00:15:23,163
Like I was telling you,
I saw Joy and my contractor
341
00:15:23,165 --> 00:15:25,582
through the window. Ick!
342
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:28,051
Oh, so she's the ick? Not me?
343
00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:31,171
Oh, Joy, did you hear that?
I'm not the ick, you are!
344
00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:34,591
Yes, I heard.
345
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,594
I'm awash in wonderful news here.
346
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:40,564
Melanie, you could never be
the ick. You're beautiful.
347
00:15:40,599 --> 00:15:43,183
In fact, I was working up the
courage to ask you out
348
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,434
for a coffee.
349
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:45,685
Oh, I'd love that.
350
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:49,523
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, uh...
351
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:52,325
What's going on? You just
invited me up to your bedroom.
352
00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:54,361
Well, yes, but just so you could light me.
353
00:15:54,363 --> 00:15:56,530
But you talked about how you looked naked!
354
00:15:56,532 --> 00:15:59,866
And that you wanted to
test out different positions!
355
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:01,952
Those things mean something to a man!
356
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:06,540
I guess you are as dumb as Victoria said.
357
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:08,341
Hey, hold on, Zed.
358
00:16:08,377 --> 00:16:10,594
Now I can call Melanie dumb, but you can't.
359
00:16:10,629 --> 00:16:13,346
Yeah, I'd rather nobody called me dumb.
360
00:16:13,382 --> 00:16:15,966
Melanie's not dumb, she's wonderful.
361
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,718
You know what's dumb? You and your shows.
362
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,888
They win awards but they don't
make a lick of sense.
363
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,558
That's him talking, not me. But go on.
364
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,144
What are you talking about?
My shows make perfect sense.
365
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,395
Tell them, Victoria.
366
00:16:28,397 --> 00:16:33,867
Uh, there are big scenes,
and little ones...
367
00:16:33,902 --> 00:16:35,068
oh, screw it!
368
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:37,454
I have no idea what your script is about
369
00:16:37,489 --> 00:16:39,739
or how the hell I'm
supposed to be playing it.
370
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,575
But, you said you loved it.
371
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,793
Because I didn't want to seem stupid.
372
00:16:43,829 --> 00:16:48,381
But I am stupid, and your script
made me that way.
373
00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:50,834
Now, just tell me yes or no,
374
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:54,221
am I a ghost detective
trying to go back in time
375
00:16:54,256 --> 00:16:56,890
to solve my own murder?
376
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,892
Not even close.
377
00:17:00,179 --> 00:17:03,263
- Too bad, I'd watch that.
- Yeah, me too.
378
00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:09,217
Ultimately, this is a story
in which the action
379
00:17:09,219 --> 00:17:12,804
tries to find meaning in inaction!
380
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:17,609
Wait, earlier you mentioned that
you're a ghost
381
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:20,612
trying to solve your own murder?
382
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,781
I like that, why don't we just do that?
383
00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:26,151
Okay.
384
00:17:26,203 --> 00:17:27,452
Oh, I am so relieved.
385
00:17:27,488 --> 00:17:29,788
I thought you were going to fire
me for asking questions
386
00:17:29,823 --> 00:17:31,290
the way you did with Ben Kingsley.
387
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:32,958
No, that was just the tipping point.
388
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:36,078
The real issue was that every
morning on set,
389
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,797
he would take the last everything bagel.
390
00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:42,467
Well, I don't eat bagels.
391
00:17:42,503 --> 00:17:44,002
And I certainly don't eat anything
392
00:17:44,054 --> 00:17:46,088
that has the word "everything" in it.
393
00:17:47,257 --> 00:17:48,890
Excellent.
394
00:17:48,926 --> 00:17:50,926
And Victoria?
395
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:53,145
Don't ever feel stupid again.
396
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:57,482
What you should be is outwardly
vain, but inwardly warm.
397
00:17:57,518 --> 00:18:00,185
Fearful but wise.
398
00:18:00,237 --> 00:18:02,771
Driven but generous.
399
00:18:02,823 --> 00:18:04,573
Who could be all those things?
400
00:18:04,608 --> 00:18:06,608
She sounds like a complete mess.
401
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:09,611
I was describing you.
402
00:18:09,663 --> 00:18:11,530
I meant you should just be yourself.
403
00:18:11,582 --> 00:18:14,449
This character is you.
404
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:17,202
Oh, my God,
405
00:18:17,254 --> 00:18:21,173
I am so complex I...
I barely understand myself.
406
00:18:23,127 --> 00:18:24,343
Yeah, just be like that.
407
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:31,433
Look, I know Elka invited me
here to get my vote
408
00:18:31,468 --> 00:18:33,969
and asked you to pretend to be
someone you're obviously not.
409
00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:36,638
You're right, but, the truth is
410
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,141
when I was saying I believed in
happily ever after
411
00:18:39,143 --> 00:18:41,109
I realized, I meant it.
412
00:18:41,145 --> 00:18:43,478
I mean, deep down, that's who I am.
413
00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:45,864
I've been doing this stupid stuff because
414
00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:47,532
I recently had my heart broken
415
00:18:47,568 --> 00:18:49,868
and I'm scared of it happening again.
416
00:18:49,903 --> 00:18:51,319
I understand.
417
00:18:51,372 --> 00:18:54,489
You get to an age where you just
sort of give up and say
418
00:18:54,541 --> 00:18:55,657
"what's the point?"
419
00:18:55,659 --> 00:18:57,459
Well, you could be like Elka.
420
00:18:57,494 --> 00:19:00,379
She's 92 and never uses her age
421
00:19:00,414 --> 00:19:02,664
as an excuse not to do something.
422
00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:05,300
Run for office, look for love,
423
00:19:05,335 --> 00:19:07,502
- manipulate her friends.
- [Chuckles]
424
00:19:07,504 --> 00:19:09,805
She knows how to work it.
425
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,509
And you do need that in order
to get things done for a city.
426
00:19:14,561 --> 00:19:17,012
So, does she get your vote?
427
00:19:17,014 --> 00:19:18,230
I guess she does.
428
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:22,017
Finally.
429
00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:25,937
I mean, is there anything we
should be celebrating?
430
00:19:27,991 --> 00:19:30,492
- Wow, what a mix-up.
- Yeah.
431
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:33,195
This would be a story
we're telling the kids.
432
00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:34,663
Kids?
433
00:19:34,698 --> 00:19:35,747
Not ours.
434
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:40,202
Just young people who...
435
00:19:40,204 --> 00:19:42,788
like charming stories
about couples meeting.
436
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,706
[Laughs]
437
00:19:44,758 --> 00:19:48,510
Well I should get going.
438
00:19:48,545 --> 00:19:52,330
You know, in New Zealand we have
a tradition.
439
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:54,854
When you say goodnight to
someone and you liked that person,
440
00:19:55,655 --> 00:19:58,954
- you give them a kiss.
- We have a similar tradition in America.
441
00:19:58,978 --> 00:20:00,978
Oh you do? Good.
442
00:20:01,078 --> 00:20:05,380
Well prepare yourself for a respectful
yet sensual kiss on the cheek.
443
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,878
Okay, go for it.
444
00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:15,178
- See you tomorrow.
- Okay.
445
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,978
- Goodnight Melanie.
- Goodnight Jack.
446
00:20:24,284 --> 00:20:26,084
It's a bit weird.
447
00:20:26,134 --> 00:20:30,684
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