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1
00:00:00,742 --> 00:00:04,375
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,747 --> 00:00:10,640
Well, something just fell
off the handsome truck.
3
00:00:14,422 --> 00:00:15,615
He is cute.
4
00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:20,828
Watch me zap that silver fox
with my blue lasers.
5
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:29,136
What the hell?
6
00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:31,219
Wow, that's never happened before.
7
00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:32,649
It's your fault.
8
00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:36,176
I'm shrouded in spinster fog.
9
00:00:36,177 --> 00:00:38,008
Elka, we are not spinsters.
10
00:00:38,009 --> 00:00:40,149
We are sophisticated, desirable women
11
00:00:40,150 --> 00:00:43,094
with a million exciting things
going on in our lives.
12
00:00:43,095 --> 00:00:46,627
Oh, look! New coffee sleeves.
13
00:00:46,628 --> 00:00:48,263
And they have sayings on them.
14
00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:51,358
"Freedom comes from self-reliance."
15
00:00:51,359 --> 00:00:53,193
You know, this coffee sleeve has a point.
16
00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:54,995
I pay people to do everything for me.
17
00:00:54,996 --> 00:00:57,882
I mean, why did I pay 20 bucks
to get this button sewn on?
18
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,901
That's what I charge.
19
00:01:00,902 --> 00:01:02,002
I mean, I know it's just a cup,
20
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,605
but I was just telling
my radio listeners the other day
21
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,940
that inspiration can come from anywhere.
22
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:09,843
Mine says, "make your brilliance known."
23
00:01:09,844 --> 00:01:14,481
Well, as it happens, cup,
my agent says a big sponsor
24
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:18,085
is looking to build a whole
lifestyle website around me.
25
00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:20,420
- Like Oprah and Gwyneth's?
- Exactly.
26
00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:22,689
Now, it turns out people are dying to hear
27
00:01:22,690 --> 00:01:25,826
Oscar-certified advice and celebrity tips.
28
00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:27,928
Like my thought on fasting,
29
00:01:27,929 --> 00:01:32,332
"when you feel like eating, don't."
30
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,468
That's just one.
31
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,236
Let's read Elka's cup.
32
00:01:36,237 --> 00:01:39,339
"Perseverance is the soul of success."
33
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:41,508
I think it's talking about the silver fox.
34
00:01:41,509 --> 00:01:46,747
You should try again. Persevere.
35
00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:51,565
Well, I guess it's time
to bring out the big guns.
36
00:01:53,926 --> 00:01:55,660
Excuse me?
37
00:01:55,996 --> 00:01:57,195
Need some sugar?
38
00:01:58,836 --> 00:01:59,752
No, thanks.
39
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,225
Oh, stop that.
40
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,346
These aren't for you.
41
00:02:10,238 --> 00:02:12,639
Hot in Cleveland - 06x03
Bossy Cups
42
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:13,790
Ba-ba, ba-ba
43
00:02:13,791 --> 00:02:14,942
[upbeat music]
44
00:02:14,943 --> 00:02:16,659
Ba-ba, ba-ba
45
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,198
[upbeat music]
46
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,672
So, Paula, it's been three weeks and
the screen door is still broken?
47
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:25,438
Yes, and when I reminded my
husband, he accused me of nagging.
48
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,594
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
49
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:30,256
All right, sweetheart,
men only want three things:
50
00:02:30,258 --> 00:02:32,086
Sex, food, and sex.
51
00:02:32,088 --> 00:02:36,038
- So here's what you got to do...
- You think sex is the answer to everything.
52
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,008
Okay, give me a scenario where it's not.
53
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:42,002
Um, okay, you've been
in a horrible accident,
54
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:43,637
and your arm has been severed.
55
00:02:43,638 --> 00:02:45,706
If that's the only thing
that's been severed,
56
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,875
sex is still the answer.
57
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,712
Anyway, Paula, maybe forget
asking for your husband to help
58
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,646
and fix the door yourself.
59
00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:55,716
You know, I read
something inspirational today.
60
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,818
"Freedom comes from self-reliance."
61
00:02:57,819 --> 00:02:59,487
Yeah, Melanie hasn't had a date in a while,
62
00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:02,697
so self-reliance is
her only source of freedom.
63
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:11,131
I'm talking about doing
something with my own hands.
64
00:03:11,132 --> 00:03:15,736
I...mean...
65
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,039
I am going to install shelves in my closet.
66
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,307
[Laughs]
67
00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:21,108
I'd like to see that.
68
00:03:21,109 --> 00:03:22,643
Well, then you are welcome to come over.
69
00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:24,845
And when I'm finished,
you'll be eating crow.
70
00:03:24,846 --> 00:03:28,182
I've had your cooking, Melanie.
It all tastes like crow.
71
00:03:28,183 --> 00:03:30,062
Ding! That's round one to Frankie.
72
00:03:30,064 --> 00:03:33,072
No, no, it is not.
Paula, disregard the ding.
73
00:03:34,892 --> 00:03:36,398
- Paula?
- Now look what you did.
74
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,192
You went and scared off our caller.
75
00:03:38,193 --> 00:03:39,640
Hey, I'm back.
76
00:03:39,642 --> 00:03:42,930
I just had sex with my
husband, and it worked.
77
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,578
- He's fixing the screen door?
- Yes!
78
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:48,435
He's out there right now
with a smile on his face.
79
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,720
Thanks, Frankie.
80
00:03:50,722 --> 00:03:52,022
Ding.
81
00:04:11,259 --> 00:04:12,993
I don't get it.
82
00:04:12,994 --> 00:04:16,797
These dimples have worked
for eight decades.
83
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:17,331
Let it go.
84
00:04:17,332 --> 00:04:19,233
There's plenty of fish in the sea.
85
00:04:19,234 --> 00:04:23,971
Oh, he's too pretty to throw back.
86
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,539
So what are you gonna do?
87
00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:26,473
Flatter him
88
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:30,311
by acting interested in whatever he says.
89
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,948
I'll put on my listening face.
90
00:04:33,949 --> 00:04:34,515
That works.
91
00:04:34,516 --> 00:04:36,884
Even the dullest, most annoying
people in the world
92
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:40,321
are thrilled when someone
pays attention to them.
93
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,236
Fascinating.
94
00:04:46,194 --> 00:04:49,863
You miserable old bat.
95
00:04:49,864 --> 00:04:51,732
I got this.
96
00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:54,635
Oh, Elka, you'll want to hear this.
97
00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:56,503
I have big news about me.
98
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,364
Fascinating.
99
00:05:01,643 --> 00:05:05,379
Ah, she's a dear, isn't she?
100
00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,514
I was just on the phone
with my website team,
101
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,984
and they want to capture my lifestyle
102
00:05:09,985 --> 00:05:11,871
by doing videos of me.
103
00:05:11,873 --> 00:05:14,188
Really? Hasn't that been done to death?
104
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:17,725
- They want to include you.
- Well, there's a fresh twist.
105
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:19,184
Are you serious? Me?
106
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,355
Yeah, they like the idea
of a British sidekick.
107
00:05:21,357 --> 00:05:23,764
Jolly bloody brilliant!
108
00:05:23,765 --> 00:05:25,165
And they're open to anything.
109
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,001
I mean, whatever we do in real life
110
00:05:27,002 --> 00:05:28,879
could be an episode on the website.
111
00:05:28,881 --> 00:05:31,338
Well, let's pour a glass of wine
112
00:05:31,339 --> 00:05:33,240
and think of an idea.
113
00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:33,907
[Doorbell rings]
114
00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:35,376
That's got to be Frankie.
115
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,803
This is gonna be so sweet.
116
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,448
[Sighs]
117
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:44,118
Well, well, well, it's
Frankie. Perfect timing.
118
00:05:44,119 --> 00:05:46,420
I just finished installing my shelves.
119
00:05:46,421 --> 00:05:48,889
[Shelves crash]
120
00:05:51,872 --> 00:05:53,172
This is a mess.
121
00:05:53,174 --> 00:05:56,184
It's not my fault.
The stud finder doesn't work.
122
00:05:56,186 --> 00:05:57,564
Let me see this thing.
123
00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,668
Beep, beep, beep. Yes, it does.
124
00:06:00,669 --> 00:06:02,803
Just tell me what I need to do to fix it.
125
00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:05,205
Well, for starters, you got to drywall.
126
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:09,476
[Chuckles] Duh, drywall.
127
00:06:09,477 --> 00:06:11,578
What's that?
128
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:12,513
Plasterboard.
129
00:06:12,514 --> 00:06:14,515
Look, it's easy... all you
got to do is clean up the hole,
130
00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:16,417
cut a piece of drywall,
screw it into the studs,
131
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,185
tape the seams, apply the joint compound,
132
00:06:18,186 --> 00:06:19,920
and then all you got to do
is sand it, prime it,
133
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:22,122
couple coats of paint, and you're done.
134
00:06:22,123 --> 00:06:26,026
Clean... Out...
135
00:06:26,027 --> 00:06:29,797
The... Hole.
136
00:06:29,799 --> 00:06:31,676
Look, I know a guy over at the strip club.
137
00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:33,769
He could probably do it for you
for a couple hundred bucks Max.
138
00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:36,660
But you got to pay him in singles,
because he's going out tonight.
139
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,051
You're the guy from the strip club?
140
00:06:38,053 --> 00:06:39,811
- Smart girl.
- Yeah.
141
00:06:43,812 --> 00:06:45,592
May I join you?
142
00:06:45,594 --> 00:06:47,962
I guess.
143
00:06:47,964 --> 00:06:49,698
I'm Elka.
144
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:50,951
I'm Jim.
145
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:56,123
Jim. What a fascinating name.
146
00:06:57,592 --> 00:06:59,326
What are you doing there?
147
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:02,229
I'm cost journaling.
148
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:05,666
I keep track of every purchase I make.
149
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:08,435
Tell me more.
150
00:07:08,436 --> 00:07:12,372
Which makes it an even $19 on toiletries.
151
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:16,176
It's interesting
how it all adds up, isn't it?
152
00:07:16,177 --> 00:07:19,747
Interesting is not the word for it.
153
00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:23,751
Wait till I tell you
how much I spend on electricity.
154
00:07:23,752 --> 00:07:25,419
It's a shocker.
155
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,322
Did you catch that one?
156
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,024
I did.
157
00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:32,993
I like talking to you, Elka.
158
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:37,064
And you are so handsome.
159
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:39,366
I'm so excited to be
developing this website
160
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:40,167
with you.
161
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,235
Apropos of nothing,
162
00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:44,271
are there awards for this type of thing?
163
00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:45,706
There are.
164
00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:49,877
[Shudders]
165
00:07:49,878 --> 00:07:52,605
And if it blows up, crazy money.
166
00:07:52,607 --> 00:07:54,882
We've got loads of
brilliant ideas for the website.
167
00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:58,191
That accent... gold mine! Love that.
168
00:07:58,193 --> 00:08:01,388
The thing that really makes this
special is the Victoria/Joy dynamic.
169
00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:03,023
[Doorbell rings] Oh, good, she's here.
170
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,892
- Who's here?
- Well, as I mentioned,
171
00:08:04,893 --> 00:08:06,693
we love the Joy character.
172
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,418
Character. You mean me?
173
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:11,365
When a sponsor's putting up this much
money, they always want choices.
174
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:15,435
Bloody hell, it's brass monkeys out there.
175
00:08:15,436 --> 00:08:19,715
Oh, my God, it's Victoria Chase!
176
00:08:19,717 --> 00:08:21,508
You're even more beautiful in person.
177
00:08:21,509 --> 00:08:26,246
Oh, I like this Joy. Don't you, Joy?
178
00:08:26,247 --> 00:08:29,316
Okay, I have to admit,
it looks really good.
179
00:08:29,317 --> 00:08:31,318
Now I have to choose the paint color.
180
00:08:31,319 --> 00:08:34,721
Do I want it to be energetic
like Swiss coffee
181
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:37,658
or welcoming like summer wicker,
182
00:08:37,659 --> 00:08:41,695
because don't you think a closet
is sort of a wishing place?
183
00:08:41,696 --> 00:08:44,731
I wish I were deaf.
184
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:45,499
I want to put the mirror
185
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,268
on the back of this closet door right here.
186
00:08:48,269 --> 00:08:50,804
Yeah, I think it will fit. Okay.
187
00:08:50,805 --> 00:08:52,873
Oh, you know what? It sticks sometimes.
188
00:08:52,874 --> 00:08:56,465
Okay, Frankie saves Melanie: Part two.
189
00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:03,550
You broke it.
190
00:09:03,551 --> 00:09:05,458
How are we supposed to get out now?
191
00:09:10,325 --> 00:09:13,327
This thing won't budge.
192
00:09:13,328 --> 00:09:15,529
Oh, no.
193
00:09:15,530 --> 00:09:17,197
Oh, no, this is not good.
194
00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:19,132
I'm a big man in a small closet.
195
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,200
What is wrong with you?
196
00:09:20,201 --> 00:09:21,468
I'm claustrophobic, okay?
197
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:24,805
Is this room getting smaller?
Are the walls closing in?
198
00:09:24,806 --> 00:09:26,473
I'm going to have to do my calming song.
199
00:09:26,474 --> 00:09:30,611
Didly-didly-didly-Dee
didly-didly-didly-Dee
200
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,013
- Does it work?
- It does.
201
00:09:33,014 --> 00:09:35,849
In fact, I'm feeling...
202
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:36,884
Fine.
203
00:09:36,885 --> 00:09:38,051
Okay.
204
00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:39,353
Oh!
205
00:09:39,354 --> 00:09:42,122
Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, oh.
206
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:46,065
Didly-didly-didly-Dee
207
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:51,233
You know, Elka, I feel like
I can be myself around you.
208
00:09:51,234 --> 00:09:54,303
In fact...
209
00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:57,372
Holy crap.
210
00:09:57,373 --> 00:09:59,174
I mean nice glasses.
211
00:09:59,175 --> 00:09:59,975
Oh, thanks.
212
00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:05,013
Wow, look who has dimples.
213
00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:07,657
So you didn't see them before?
214
00:10:07,659 --> 00:10:09,915
No, I'm blind without my glasses.
215
00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:14,089
But now that we're dating,
I can wear them all the time.
216
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:17,729
What happened to the dimples?
217
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,331
How did it go with the website people?
218
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,968
Well, I told them I didn't
want to do it without you.
219
00:10:27,969 --> 00:10:30,070
You're my best friend,
and I think they'd be
220
00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:31,505
totally misguided to go with Olivia.
221
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:34,007
- Thank you, Victoria.
- You're welcome.
222
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,843
They're going with Olivia.
223
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,445
- What?
- It's nothing personal.
224
00:10:38,446 --> 00:10:39,747
They just find her more likable.
225
00:10:39,748 --> 00:10:41,615
I don't even know what that means.
226
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:46,221
Well, it means that they
find her more likable than you.
227
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,964
I know that, you idiot.
228
00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:51,458
New Joy doesn't say things like that.
229
00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:52,926
They're still going to call her Joy?
230
00:10:52,927 --> 00:10:55,863
Oh, the name just tested through the roof,
231
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:59,266
so there's a win for you.
232
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,701
Ay-yup, girlies.
233
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,836
Victoria, we better get going
if we're going to be there
234
00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:04,271
for the start of the cavs game.
235
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,607
Oh, yeah, we're shooting an
episode there for the website.
236
00:11:06,608 --> 00:11:10,144
But Joy and Victoria going
to the cavs game was my idea.
237
00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:11,311
Oh, and we're still doing it.
238
00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:14,381
Joy and Victoria are going
to the cavs game.
239
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,918
Another win for you.
240
00:11:17,919 --> 00:11:20,320
Somebody get rid of these.
241
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:23,891
Oh, God, these are some well-ugly specs.
242
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:27,049
We haven't met. I'm new Joy.
243
00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:31,979
Oh, I approve.
244
00:11:37,505 --> 00:11:38,939
You doing better?
245
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:39,473
A little.
246
00:11:39,474 --> 00:11:41,721
Eventually, they're going
to come home and find us.
247
00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:43,577
Sure, sure.
248
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,246
Boy, this is real for you, isn't it?
249
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,482
Yeah, yeah, since I was a kid.
250
00:11:48,483 --> 00:11:51,151
See, when I was small,
to save money, my family hid me
251
00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:53,153
in the trunk when we would go
to drive-in movies.
252
00:11:53,154 --> 00:11:54,888
And one time, they forgot about me,
253
00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:56,854
and I was in there for a couple hours.
254
00:11:56,856 --> 00:11:58,658
I still remember the movie too.
255
00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:01,962
It was Cheech and Chong Up in Smoke.
256
00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:02,729
That's terrible.
257
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:05,833
It was no better heard through a trunk.
258
00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:06,433
[Chuckles]
259
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:10,704
And since then, I've been
afraid of small spaces.
260
00:12:10,705 --> 00:12:13,340
And Cheech and Chong.
261
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,042
Really? Cheech and Chong?
262
00:12:15,043 --> 00:12:18,412
Like, "Dave's not here, man."
263
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:19,546
Stop it, stop it!
264
00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:22,449
I'm sorry. Jeez.
265
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,081
You know what? I have crazy fears too.
266
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:29,737
I am scared to death of butterflies.
267
00:12:29,739 --> 00:12:31,473
Butterflies?
268
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,327
Butterflies can't hurt you.
269
00:12:33,328 --> 00:12:36,542
Neither can Cheech and Chong.
270
00:12:40,435 --> 00:12:41,947
Truce?
271
00:12:45,073 --> 00:12:49,076
I appreciate you sharing
what you're afraid of and, uh,
272
00:12:49,077 --> 00:12:50,577
helping me to calm down.
273
00:12:50,578 --> 00:12:54,615
You're welcome.
274
00:12:54,616 --> 00:12:56,659
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
275
00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,692
What are you doing?
276
00:13:00,694 --> 00:13:01,910
Nothing.
277
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,583
What are you doing?
278
00:13:04,585 --> 00:13:05,201
I don't know.
279
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,093
- But I'm about to...
- Go for it.
280
00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:09,440
[Sneezes loudly]
281
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:17,329
Door's open.
282
00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:21,315
Uh, sorry about the sneeze.
283
00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:24,345
So, um, what just happened?
284
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,380
Nothing. Nothing happened.
285
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:27,764
Good. That's what I thought.
286
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:29,848
Just checking.
287
00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:33,554
So I'll, uh, see you at work?
Yeah, see you at work.
288
00:13:33,555 --> 00:13:34,822
Yeah, you want me to fix this door?
289
00:13:34,823 --> 00:13:36,549
No, no. I like it there.
290
00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:44,633
I guess Victoria's still sleeping.
291
00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:46,802
She must have gotten home
late from the cavs game
292
00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:47,469
with her new friend.
293
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:51,473
I saw Victoria and new Joy
on the Jumbotron.
294
00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:53,909
Can we not call her new Joy?
295
00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:56,534
Okay, old Joy.
296
00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:02,050
Good morning, Victoria.
297
00:14:02,051 --> 00:14:03,552
Or would you prefer... [Exaggerated accent]
298
00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:07,489
"Cor blimey, Victoria,
good bleeding morning"?
299
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:10,525
Listen, Joy, I know
that last night was bad.
300
00:14:10,526 --> 00:14:12,761
Bad? It was typical.
301
00:14:12,762 --> 00:14:14,463
So typical of you, Victoria,
302
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,699
to sacrifice your friends
to climb the ladder of success.
303
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:21,102
But this time, you invited me
on that ladder with you.
304
00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:24,039
And just as I was beginning
to enjoy the view,
305
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:24,873
you kicked me off.
306
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:27,042
Next time, why don't you just
take me to the desert,
307
00:14:27,043 --> 00:14:29,511
have me dig my own grave hole,
and shove me in?
308
00:14:29,512 --> 00:14:32,519
I could go for a trip to the desert.
309
00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:38,920
Look, Joy, I know I deserve
everything that you just said.
310
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:42,457
And that's why last night
I told the website people that
311
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:47,162
your friendship means more
than this project, and...
312
00:14:47,163 --> 00:14:47,963
and I quit.
313
00:14:47,964 --> 00:14:50,031
- You quit?
- Yeah.
314
00:14:50,032 --> 00:14:53,134
But that website's important to you.
315
00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,569
Not as important as you.
316
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:58,640
I realized something
at that basketball game.
317
00:14:58,641 --> 00:15:00,375
I don't want to spend time with a person
318
00:15:00,376 --> 00:15:03,211
who is young and bubbly and likable.
319
00:15:03,212 --> 00:15:06,047
I want to spend time with you.
320
00:15:06,048 --> 00:15:10,151
Really? Oh, Victoria, I'm so touched.
321
00:15:10,152 --> 00:15:11,686
You know what?
322
00:15:11,687 --> 00:15:12,988
I'm gonna get some champagne,
323
00:15:12,989 --> 00:15:15,840
so we can celebrate our friendship.
324
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,329
That was a nice thing you did.
325
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:25,500
Well, it's just the kind of person I am.
326
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:28,703
They fired you, didn't they?
327
00:15:28,704 --> 00:15:30,472
Can you believe it?
328
00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:32,941
Apparently new Joy tested
better than I did,
329
00:15:32,942 --> 00:15:35,677
so now they're building
the whole website around her
330
00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:37,979
instead of me.
331
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,882
But I feel bad.
332
00:15:40,883 --> 00:15:42,751
Do you think I should tell Joy the truth?
333
00:15:42,752 --> 00:15:46,688
No. It would hurt her feelings.
334
00:15:46,689 --> 00:15:48,316
Let me do it.
335
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:54,778
Elka?
336
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:56,840
Over here.
337
00:15:59,101 --> 00:16:00,869
It's the strangest thing.
338
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:02,587
Now I can't find my spare pair of glasses.
339
00:16:04,307 --> 00:16:05,073
No.
340
00:16:05,074 --> 00:16:06,908
I've looked all over your place.
341
00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:10,378
Well, the last time I saw them,
342
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:12,293
they were under the covers.
343
00:16:13,092 --> 00:16:14,392
Let's go look there.
344
00:16:37,306 --> 00:16:40,041
Hello, Frankie. Good to see you.
345
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:43,228
Hello, Melanie. Good to see you as well.
346
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:53,054
So, um, that thing that didn't
happen in the closet yesterday,
347
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,223
that's not going to affect us here right?
348
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,825
Well, first of all, nothing didn't happen
349
00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:57,492
in the closet yesterday,
350
00:16:57,493 --> 00:17:00,495
and, uh, second, the show comes first, so...
351
00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:01,730
I'm glad we're clear.
352
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:02,897
Me as well.
353
00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:06,167
Up next, He said, She said
354
00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:07,502
with Frankie and Melanie.
355
00:17:07,503 --> 00:17:11,640
Turn up your radio,
and let the battle begin.
356
00:17:11,641 --> 00:17:13,575
[Explosion sound effect]
357
00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:14,242
Hello, everybody.
358
00:17:14,243 --> 00:17:17,269
Our first caller is tom
from Cuyahoga Falls.
359
00:17:17,271 --> 00:17:18,013
Yeah, hi.
360
00:17:18,014 --> 00:17:19,280
I've been married for ten years,
361
00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:22,840
and now we're only having sex
like once a month.
362
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:23,510
What do I do?
363
00:17:23,753 --> 00:17:26,621
Well, um, maybe you
should deal with the problems
364
00:17:26,622 --> 00:17:30,158
in your relationship that are
leading to her lack of interest.
365
00:17:30,159 --> 00:17:33,561
Yeah, I don't really care why.
I just want more.
366
00:17:33,562 --> 00:17:34,470
Right, Frankie?
367
00:17:34,472 --> 00:17:36,665
I actually think Melanie
had a pretty great point.
368
00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:39,752
- Well, thank you, Frankie.
- You're welcome, Melanie.
369
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,870
- Should we take another call?
- I think we should.
370
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:42,737
Okay.
371
00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:45,807
Hey, guys, uh, so what
happened with those shelves?
372
00:17:45,808 --> 00:17:47,642
- Nothing happened.
- Absolutely nothing.
373
00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:49,144
But she screwed it up, right?
374
00:17:49,145 --> 00:17:51,479
Well, actually, we
ended up working together,
375
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,947
and it was a pretty successful endeavor.
376
00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:56,151
Now Melanie has a shelf
that she can put things on.
377
00:17:56,152 --> 00:17:59,721
Uh-huh. Did she put your balls
on that shelf?
378
00:17:59,722 --> 00:18:00,522
Hey.
379
00:18:00,523 --> 00:18:02,624
Watch your mouth.
There's a lady here, all right?
380
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:06,094
- Thank you, Frankie.
- You're very welcome, Melanie.
381
00:18:06,095 --> 00:18:09,464
Okay, you know what, we'll be
right back after this break.
382
00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:11,232
What the hell was that? We're terrible.
383
00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:11,733
I know!
384
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:12,767
We're gonna get kicked off the air
385
00:18:12,768 --> 00:18:14,536
if we spend the next three hours
agreeing with each other.
386
00:18:14,537 --> 00:18:17,072
Look, this whole thing started
because you tried to kiss me.
387
00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:18,873
I tried to kiss you? No, no, no.
388
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:20,975
You tried to kiss me. You leaned in.
389
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:21,543
You leaned in.
390
00:18:21,544 --> 00:18:23,545
The point is, there was leaning.
391
00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:26,014
I can't do this show
if you have feelings for me.
392
00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:27,582
Oh, please. Feelings for you.
393
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:30,085
The only feeling I have for you
is utter disgust.
394
00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:32,654
Right back at ya, baby.
395
00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:33,455
Oh, this is good.
396
00:18:33,456 --> 00:18:35,340
I know! This is us.
397
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:37,992
And we're back.
398
00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:40,695
To that caller earlier who was
only getting it once a month,
399
00:18:40,696 --> 00:18:42,363
I actually agree with Melanie.
400
00:18:42,364 --> 00:18:45,467
Have a dialogue with your wife.
Here's the dialogue.
401
00:18:45,468 --> 00:18:46,267
"Put out or get out."
402
00:18:46,268 --> 00:18:48,636
Please, Frankie's just jealous of any man
403
00:18:48,637 --> 00:18:49,604
that doesn't have to pay for it.
404
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:52,269
And Melanie can't give it away for free.
405
00:18:56,113 --> 00:19:01,317
So that's why a thermos
keeps things both hot and cold.
406
00:19:01,318 --> 00:19:06,222
Goodness, I've been talking
about thermoses for 40 minutes.
407
00:19:06,223 --> 00:19:10,159
Has it only been 40?
408
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,697
Look, Jim, about us,
I mean, it's been fun...
409
00:19:14,698 --> 00:19:16,299
Ah, hold that thought.
410
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,660
It's kind of bright out here.
411
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,008
Oh.
412
00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:26,992
Oh, you look good in those glasses.
413
00:19:28,979 --> 00:19:30,162
Damn good.
414
00:19:32,049 --> 00:19:34,751
Actually, they're prescription.
415
00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:38,254
So you don't need your other glasses?
416
00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:41,357
No. These are easier on my eyes.
417
00:19:41,358 --> 00:19:45,228
They're easier on my eyes too.
418
00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:50,266
So, um, what were you going to tell me?
419
00:19:50,267 --> 00:19:54,037
I can't remember.
420
00:19:54,038 --> 00:19:55,571
Elka, I wanted to mention,
421
00:19:55,572 --> 00:19:58,675
I'm going to have
some dental surgery later on,
422
00:19:58,676 --> 00:20:03,012
and I won't be able to talk for a few days.
423
00:20:03,013 --> 00:20:06,082
We'll make it work.
424
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:15,539
sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
425
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:20,139
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