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1
00:00:00,782 --> 00:00:02,031
Hot in Cleveland is recorded
2
00:00:02,083 --> 00:00:04,250
In front
of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:04,285 --> 00:00:07,787
And our newest cocktail,
the Victoria Chase,
4
00:00:07,789 --> 00:00:10,456
A martini
with flecks of Oscar Gold,
5
00:00:10,508 --> 00:00:12,708
Named after one
of our most famous customers.
6
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:13,709
Aw.
7
00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:16,629
What do you mean "one of"?
8
00:00:16,631 --> 00:00:17,880
You're all celebrities.
9
00:00:17,932 --> 00:00:19,599
Melanie has her radio show,
10
00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:21,184
Elka's on city council,
11
00:00:21,219 --> 00:00:24,554
And Joy's our best customer.
12
00:00:24,606 --> 00:00:26,806
Honestly, without your bar tab,
13
00:00:26,808 --> 00:00:30,393
This place would have been
a Joanne�s fabrics.
14
00:00:30,445 --> 00:00:32,311
So glad I could help.
15
00:00:32,313 --> 00:00:34,313
Hey, you should name a drink
after Joy.
16
00:00:34,315 --> 00:00:36,032
That's not a bad idea.
17
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,033
What would that be?
18
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:40,653
Something flat...
19
00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:43,990
That goes down easy.
20
00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:48,911
So Stormi's named a drink
after you, Victoria.
21
00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:49,912
How cool is that?
22
00:00:49,964 --> 00:00:52,748
Well, for Cleveland, very cool.
23
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,835
And that is why I can't wait
to start my new show in L.A.
24
00:00:55,837 --> 00:00:57,637
[gasps] so you got the part?
25
00:00:57,672 --> 00:00:59,639
Well, I mean, I still
have to meet with the creator,
26
00:00:59,674 --> 00:01:01,390
But, you know,
that's just a formality.
27
00:01:01,426 --> 00:01:03,392
I mean, I'm an Oscar winner.
28
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:06,429
I can't believe
you get to work with Zed Simms.
29
00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:07,847
I know.
30
00:01:07,899 --> 00:01:10,349
I mean, he's created some
of the most critically acclaimed
31
00:01:10,351 --> 00:01:14,103
And confusing HBO series
of our time.
32
00:01:14,155 --> 00:01:16,656
I can't wait to tell him
how to fix my character.
33
00:01:16,691 --> 00:01:18,157
What's wrong
with your character?
34
00:01:18,192 --> 00:01:21,827
Well, I don't know.
I haven't read the script yet.
35
00:01:21,863 --> 00:01:24,030
Melanie, you should come
to L.A. With us.
36
00:01:24,032 --> 00:01:25,781
The production's putting
Victoria up
37
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:28,284
In a fabulous Malibu
beach house.
38
00:01:28,336 --> 00:01:29,619
There's plenty of extra room.
39
00:01:29,671 --> 00:01:31,837
Even councilwoman Ostrovsky's
coming.
40
00:01:31,873 --> 00:01:33,923
On the city's dime, I might add.
41
00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:38,177
I'm going to bring film jobs
to Cleveland.
42
00:01:40,181 --> 00:01:42,682
Or relax trying.
43
00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:45,101
You know, I'm looking forward
to going to L.A.
44
00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:46,886
Oh, me too. I miss it.
45
00:01:46,888 --> 00:01:48,187
You know, you guys
always say that
46
00:01:48,222 --> 00:01:50,139
Because you forget
how bad it is there
47
00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:52,308
And all the reasons we
moved here in the first place.
48
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,311
It's 75 degrees there.
49
00:01:55,363 --> 00:01:56,612
I didn't say I wasn't coming.
50
00:01:56,648 --> 00:01:58,030
Oh, wonderful!
51
00:01:58,066 --> 00:01:59,982
I present
52
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:03,736
The Joy scrogs,
53
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:07,740
A whole bottle of wine
in one glass.
54
00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:10,293
Oh, my god.
That is borderline insulting.
55
00:02:10,328 --> 00:02:11,294
Oh, I'm sorry.
56
00:02:11,329 --> 00:02:14,130
I said borderline.
57
00:02:14,154 --> 00:02:16,154
sync and corrections by Squallounet
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:16,217 --> 00:02:18,668
[upbeat music]
59
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,886
Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba
60
00:02:20,922 --> 00:02:24,173
Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba
61
00:02:24,225 --> 00:02:25,308
Hey!
62
00:02:25,343 --> 00:02:27,643
Victoria, this beach house
is amazing.
63
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:28,894
I know.
64
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:33,182
It's so good to feel the sun
on my sunblock.
65
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:35,351
How do you spell Spielberg?
66
00:02:35,403 --> 00:02:38,904
You actually had a meeting
with Steven Spielberg?
67
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,524
Well, we had drinks.
68
00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:45,911
At least that's what
my expense report says.
69
00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:48,531
Then he came onto me.
70
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:51,667
That's what my diary says.
71
00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:53,669
Okay, I hate to admit it,
72
00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:56,756
But I may be falling in love
with L.A. Again.
73
00:02:56,791 --> 00:03:00,626
Remember those Louboutins that I
was trying to find in Cleveland,
74
00:03:00,628 --> 00:03:02,011
But they said they didn't exist?
75
00:03:02,046 --> 00:03:03,012
Well, they do exist.
76
00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:05,264
And now they're on my feet.
77
00:03:05,299 --> 00:03:09,268
And they are killing me.
78
00:03:09,303 --> 00:03:12,471
Wait till you hear about
this new L.A. Exercise fad.
79
00:03:12,523 --> 00:03:14,557
I went to a class this morning
80
00:03:14,609 --> 00:03:16,976
Where you hang upside down
like bats.
81
00:03:16,978 --> 00:03:18,477
That makes sense.
82
00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:21,897
Have you ever seen a fat bat?
83
00:03:21,949 --> 00:03:24,784
And Elka got a workout
this morning too.
84
00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:27,820
She ran down the beach
after Jeff bridges.
85
00:03:27,822 --> 00:03:31,157
Actually, it was a homeless man.
86
00:03:31,159 --> 00:03:35,578
But he seemed very interested
in filming in Cleveland.
87
00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:37,129
Well, if you'll excuse me,
88
00:03:37,165 --> 00:03:39,715
I should go and get ready
for my meeting with Zed,
89
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:42,168
My genius TV show creator.
90
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,636
I'll drive you.
91
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:46,338
I just need ten minutes
to sell him on Cleveland.
92
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:48,841
Absolutely not.
93
00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:51,677
Oh, look
at those beautiful dolphins.
94
00:03:51,679 --> 00:03:55,598
Wait, why is one of them
coming out of the sea?
95
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:58,184
That's no dolphin.
96
00:03:58,236 --> 00:04:00,486
That's Zed.
97
00:04:03,024 --> 00:04:05,691
The camera rises
out of the ocean
98
00:04:05,743 --> 00:04:10,112
And flies the viewers right
into the sun-drenched action.
99
00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:12,948
Perfect opening shot.
100
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,334
Bam, I've done it again.
101
00:04:15,369 --> 00:04:18,037
Victoria Chase, Zed Simms.
102
00:04:18,039 --> 00:04:19,872
Zed, I thought
we were meeting in your office.
103
00:04:19,874 --> 00:04:22,007
I wanted to catch you
by surprise.
104
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:24,009
That's how I want
all my artists,
105
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:26,629
Out of their comfort zones.
106
00:04:26,681 --> 00:04:28,380
You're gonna
have to forget everything
107
00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:31,300
You think you know about acting.
108
00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:35,221
That won't take long.
109
00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:36,522
Zed, these are my friends.
110
00:04:36,557 --> 00:04:37,606
Stay, stay here.
111
00:04:37,642 --> 00:04:40,443
This is about us.
112
00:04:40,478 --> 00:04:43,529
And boom, we're done.
113
00:04:43,564 --> 00:04:45,698
Remember, when you
make yourself comfortable,
114
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,316
You make yourself dead.
115
00:04:47,368 --> 00:04:51,320
Enjoy the house.
116
00:04:51,372 --> 00:04:55,291
Oh, he's so dynamic
and multitalented.
117
00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:56,575
Oh, look at him,
118
00:04:56,627 --> 00:05:00,296
Swimming with one arm
and texting with the other.
119
00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:01,297
[text message alert]
120
00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:03,966
That must be him.
121
00:05:04,001 --> 00:05:05,417
Oh, no, it's my agent.
122
00:05:05,419 --> 00:05:08,087
Oh, Zed said
he enjoyed meeting me.
123
00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:10,422
Well, of course he did.
124
00:05:10,424 --> 00:05:13,642
But the answer is no.
125
00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:19,431
No? I-i didn't get the part.
126
00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:21,150
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
127
00:05:21,185 --> 00:05:25,521
Well, I must have
done something wrong.
128
00:05:25,573 --> 00:05:28,908
I shouldn't have tried
to introduce you guys.
129
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:32,695
I've got to figure out
some way to see him again,
130
00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:34,246
So I can change his mind.
131
00:05:34,282 --> 00:05:37,917
Maybe I just made
a bad first impression.
132
00:05:37,952 --> 00:05:40,085
It happened when I met you.
133
00:05:40,121 --> 00:05:43,789
Yes, but then
you got to know me.
134
00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:46,959
Don't go down that road,
Victoria.
135
00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:57,269
Joy, are you sure
Zed is dining here tonight?
136
00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:58,470
I don't' see him anywhere.
137
00:05:58,472 --> 00:05:59,772
Relax.
138
00:05:59,807 --> 00:06:01,807
I knew he'd go to
the hottest restaurant in town.
139
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,726
I hacked
into the reservation system.
140
00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:05,194
He's dining here alone at 8:00.
141
00:06:05,229 --> 00:06:08,030
I am still amazed
that you can do that.
142
00:06:08,065 --> 00:06:09,398
You are an incredible detective.
143
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,700
I am, aren't I?
144
00:06:11,736 --> 00:06:15,821
She still hasn't solved
the case of the missing boobs.
145
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,577
Welcome to chemistry, ms. Chase.
146
00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:24,547
Nitrogen caviar beads on a bed
of deconstructed hummus
147
00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:27,082
Wrapped
in a lemongrass waffle cone.
148
00:06:27,134 --> 00:06:28,834
Thank you.
149
00:06:28,886 --> 00:06:31,837
Oh, I can't eat all of this.
150
00:06:33,841 --> 00:06:36,225
I'm too nervous about Zed.
151
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:37,760
I'm just gonna have to find him
152
00:06:37,812 --> 00:06:39,845
And convince him
that I am right for this part.
153
00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,096
Have you read the script yet?
154
00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:45,017
Melanie, this is Hollywood,
not reading town.
155
00:06:45,069 --> 00:06:47,186
I'm sorry, I almost forgot
the creme fraiche vapor.
156
00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,404
Oh, no, thank you.
157
00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:52,074
Come on, Victoria.
You have to eat something.
158
00:06:58,115 --> 00:07:00,532
Mmm.
159
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,373
[gasps]
160
00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:10,960
Look. It's Gregory Pellegrino.
161
00:07:11,012 --> 00:07:13,212
He's the most famous private eye
in L.A.
162
00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:16,382
You know, this might be a sign.
163
00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:19,051
Maybe I'm wasting my talents
in Cleveland.
164
00:07:19,103 --> 00:07:20,185
I should go talk to him.
165
00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:22,104
Well, wait, no,
if you go work for him,
166
00:07:22,139 --> 00:07:24,106
That means you'd have
to move back to L.A.
167
00:07:24,141 --> 00:07:27,893
Oh, do it,Joy. Follow my dream.
168
00:07:30,314 --> 00:07:31,563
[gasps]
169
00:07:31,565 --> 00:07:34,533
It's Mario Lopez,
and he's coming over.
170
00:07:34,568 --> 00:07:36,151
Mario, darling.
171
00:07:36,203 --> 00:07:37,870
Victoria Chase.
172
00:07:37,905 --> 00:07:39,238
So good to see you.
173
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,739
You look gorgeous, as always.
174
00:07:40,741 --> 00:07:43,242
And, by the way,
congratulations on your Oscar.
175
00:07:43,244 --> 00:07:44,243
So deserved.
176
00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:47,046
I know.
177
00:07:47,081 --> 00:07:49,331
Do you think that
I can get you on my show extra
178
00:07:49,383 --> 00:07:50,332
While you're in town?
179
00:07:50,384 --> 00:07:52,918
I have a better idea.
180
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:57,256
Why don't you do your show
in Cleveland?
181
00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:58,340
Cleveland?
182
00:07:58,392 --> 00:08:01,393
Walk with me, dimples.
183
00:08:02,763 --> 00:08:06,015
Where is Zed,
and why doesn't he want me?
184
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:09,018
I'm an Oscar winner.
185
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:13,105
No doors in Hollywood
are closed to me.
186
00:08:13,107 --> 00:08:14,273
Wait.
187
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:16,775
Did I just hear the sound
188
00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:19,945
Of a hand touching velvet rope?
189
00:08:21,782 --> 00:08:23,365
Oh, my god.
190
00:08:23,417 --> 00:08:26,702
There's a VIP room.
191
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:28,337
And Zed must be in it.
192
00:08:28,372 --> 00:08:30,172
Okay.
193
00:08:30,207 --> 00:08:31,840
Victoria, before you
do anything foolish...
194
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:34,209
Okay.
195
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:42,408
Excuse me.
There's been a mistake.
196
00:08:42,444 --> 00:08:47,113
I was accidentally seated
with my friends.
197
00:08:47,165 --> 00:08:48,448
Sorry. VIPs only.
198
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,783
Do you know who I am?
199
00:08:50,785 --> 00:08:55,204
Yes, you're Victoria Chase,
winner of just one Oscar.
200
00:08:57,509 --> 00:09:00,376
Look, Zed Sims is up there,
and he's expecting me.
201
00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:02,795
But he said he didn't want
to be disturbed.
202
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:04,964
Oh, but did he say
he didn't want to be disturbed
203
00:09:05,016 --> 00:09:06,466
By Victoria Chase?
204
00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:10,386
Yes, specifically.
205
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,730
Good evening, Mr. Pellegrino.
206
00:09:20,782 --> 00:09:21,731
Joy Scroggs.
207
00:09:21,783 --> 00:09:24,067
I'm a detective in Cleveland,
208
00:09:24,119 --> 00:09:26,319
But I think
you could use my skills here.
209
00:09:26,321 --> 00:09:28,871
Okay, what do you got?
210
00:09:30,742 --> 00:09:32,158
You see that guy
at the end of the bar?
211
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,745
The one whose hair color
suggests he went gray years ago?
212
00:09:35,797 --> 00:09:38,414
He's about to make a move on
the blonde two bar stools down,
213
00:09:38,466 --> 00:09:41,217
The tell being the mint strip
he just popped in his mouth.
214
00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:46,389
Which isn't a mint strip
at all but is, in fact, Viagra.
215
00:09:46,424 --> 00:09:49,175
You just described every man
in here.
216
00:09:49,177 --> 00:09:50,593
What else do you do?
217
00:09:50,645 --> 00:09:54,814
I can hack into any computer,
get past any security system.
218
00:09:54,849 --> 00:09:55,932
That's very impressive,
219
00:09:55,984 --> 00:09:58,318
But the bread and butter
of any detective agency
220
00:09:58,353 --> 00:09:59,485
Is catching cheaters.
221
00:09:59,521 --> 00:10:04,824
Oh, well, my specialty
is being a honey trap.
222
00:10:04,859 --> 00:10:08,611
These legs have lured
a lot of men
223
00:10:08,663 --> 00:10:11,114
Out of a lot of alimony.
224
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:12,365
[clears throat]
225
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:13,866
Aren't you a little, uh...
226
00:10:13,918 --> 00:10:15,501
How can I put this?
227
00:10:15,537 --> 00:10:18,538
Well-traveled?
228
00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:23,209
I am from England, so yes.
229
00:10:26,631 --> 00:10:27,880
I didn't get the part,
230
00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:31,634
And now I can't get
into the VIP room.
231
00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:35,888
How do you stand being ordinary,
Melanie?
232
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:37,724
Well, I don't think of myself
as ordinary.
233
00:10:37,776 --> 00:10:39,058
Well, of course you don't.
234
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:41,477
I'm talking about how
the world perceives you.
235
00:10:44,282 --> 00:10:47,033
Can you believe that guy
thinks I'm too old
236
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:49,285
To seduce married men in L.A.?
237
00:10:55,043 --> 00:10:55,992
I know!
238
00:10:56,044 --> 00:10:58,828
I'm speechless too.
239
00:11:01,049 --> 00:11:01,998
I should go prove him wrong.
240
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,216
Yeah, that's it.
241
00:11:03,251 --> 00:11:05,918
That is the thing about L.A.,
isn't it?
242
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:08,004
Great weather,
shopping, treatments.
243
00:11:08,056 --> 00:11:09,422
But at the end of the day,
244
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:11,307
Only the guys
in Cleveland find us hot.
245
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:14,477
From the gentleman over there.
246
00:11:14,512 --> 00:11:16,512
Scram!
247
00:11:18,817 --> 00:11:22,485
So that's my pitch
for Cleveland.
248
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,820
Thanks for your time.
Good pitch.
249
00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,071
Oh, you're welcome.
250
00:11:25,106 --> 00:11:26,355
Oh, uh, Elka,
251
00:11:26,408 --> 00:11:31,077
You left an envelope of cash
here on the bar.
252
00:11:31,112 --> 00:11:33,496
I think that's yours.
253
00:11:38,837 --> 00:11:42,839
You didn't see that.
254
00:11:56,971 --> 00:11:59,188
All right,
I'll see you guys up there.
255
00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:07,196
I saw you across the room,
and I saw that smile.
256
00:12:07,232 --> 00:12:09,782
And I thought, "wouldn't it be
nice if that smile were for me?"
257
00:12:09,818 --> 00:12:11,701
Well, that's very sweet.
258
00:12:11,736 --> 00:12:13,986
But unless things
have changed in L.A.,
259
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:16,322
Guys your age don't buy drinks
for women like me.
260
00:12:16,374 --> 00:12:18,124
Mm, you doing that thing
that beautiful women do
261
00:12:18,159 --> 00:12:21,627
Where they claim they don't know
they're beautiful?
262
00:12:23,414 --> 00:12:26,716
Yeah, I guess I am.
263
00:12:26,751 --> 00:12:28,134
Oh, can I get you another drink?
264
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:30,670
I would love one, yeah.
265
00:12:30,722 --> 00:12:32,839
Now I'm gonna do that thing
that beautiful women do
266
00:12:32,891 --> 00:12:34,140
When they
put on their reading glasses
267
00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:37,844
To look at the drink list.
268
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:40,680
I understand this is L.A.,
269
00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:44,066
And I may not be the young,
dumb honey trap you're used to.
270
00:12:44,102 --> 00:12:46,435
But I do know
how to grab a man's attention.
271
00:12:46,488 --> 00:12:47,603
Observe.
272
00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:49,689
- Lady, I'm really...
- I said observe.
273
00:12:58,199 --> 00:13:02,752
Oh, I'm so thirsty.
274
00:13:04,756 --> 00:13:08,758
So thirsty.
275
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:13,379
What does a girl have to do
to get a drink around here?
276
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:14,680
I don't know. Ask the bartender.
277
00:13:14,716 --> 00:13:19,352
[laughs]
278
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:21,387
Oh, you.
279
00:13:27,061 --> 00:13:29,061
I'm so thirs...
280
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:32,949
Not interested.
281
00:13:32,984 --> 00:13:34,734
I am so glad
you came here tonight.
282
00:13:34,736 --> 00:13:36,569
Me too.
283
00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,454
I'd really like to kiss you.
284
00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:40,740
Well, that's very flattering,
285
00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:44,460
But you are so much younger
than I am,
286
00:13:44,495 --> 00:13:46,913
Though you have restored
my faith in L.A.
287
00:13:46,915 --> 00:13:49,081
Come on, just one kiss?
Real quick?
288
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,299
Real quick?
289
00:13:50,335 --> 00:13:52,301
I'll give you $20.
290
00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:55,137
What?
291
00:13:55,173 --> 00:13:56,756
All right, look,
I'm on a scavenger hunt
292
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:58,758
For a bachelor party,
and I have till 9:00
293
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:03,095
To get a selfie
of me kissing a hog.
294
00:14:03,097 --> 00:14:04,096
A hog?
295
00:14:04,098 --> 00:14:06,232
Hot older girl.
296
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,650
- Oh.
- That's you.
297
00:14:07,685 --> 00:14:11,404
Oh, so you've just been
scamming me this whole time.
298
00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:14,357
Well, thank you for reminding me
why I left L.A.
299
00:14:14,409 --> 00:14:16,776
All right, I'll get back
to the scavenger hunt.
300
00:14:16,778 --> 00:14:18,744
Mm.
301
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:21,080
Hey, you don't happen to have
a garter belt in your purse?
302
00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:24,834
How about a Louboutin foot
in your ass?
303
00:14:47,942 --> 00:14:49,191
Ms. Chase?
304
00:14:49,227 --> 00:14:53,813
Uh, I was just looking
for my contact lens.
305
00:14:53,815 --> 00:14:56,899
It fell up.
306
00:14:56,951 --> 00:14:59,952
Oh, fine, just take me back
to my table.
307
00:15:07,961 --> 00:15:10,211
How'd it go with Pellegrino?
308
00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:11,963
Mm, terrible.
309
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,415
I was trying to show off
my honey trap skills,
310
00:15:14,417 --> 00:15:16,918
But everyone rejected me.
311
00:15:16,970 --> 00:15:20,638
Then he leaves,
and out of the blue,
312
00:15:20,674 --> 00:15:25,326
This hot young guy
comes over and kisses me.
313
00:15:28,815 --> 00:15:33,067
He was so proud of it,
he wanted to take a selfie.
314
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:36,771
Did he?
315
00:15:42,746 --> 00:15:46,197
Your entree, sir.
316
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,950
[spits] that's not salmon mist.
317
00:15:48,952 --> 00:15:52,787
I know. It's my perfume.
318
00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:54,839
Victoria, what the hell
are you doing here?
319
00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:56,040
I had to talk to you.
320
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:57,458
Now, I am right for this part,
321
00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:58,676
And I can prove it to you.
322
00:15:58,712 --> 00:15:59,844
How?
323
00:15:59,879 --> 00:16:01,879
Well, I hadn't thought that far.
324
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:05,767
I spent all my energy shoving
that waitress into the closet.
325
00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:07,685
I just know I can do it.
326
00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:10,021
No, you're still wrong for it.
327
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,306
Oh, but why?
328
00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:14,776
When I saw you in that bright,
unforgiving beach sun,
329
00:16:14,811 --> 00:16:16,811
I realized
that you had no chemistry
330
00:16:16,813 --> 00:16:20,198
With your young,
vibrant costar, Malibu.
331
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,983
What are you saying?
332
00:16:21,985 --> 00:16:25,320
Don't make me tell my agent
to tell your agent
333
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:28,406
What I'm saying.
334
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,492
Do you mean that I am not
hot enough for Malibu?
335
00:16:31,494 --> 00:16:34,045
Your words, my feelings.
336
00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:42,003
She may not be hot enough
for L.A.,
337
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:45,973
But she's hot enough
for Cleveland.
338
00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:48,476
Elka, how did you get here?
339
00:16:48,511 --> 00:16:50,845
I'm 92. I do what I want.
340
00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:56,017
Cleveland?
The show's set in Malibu.
341
00:16:56,019 --> 00:16:58,603
Oh, fine.
Stay in your comfort zone.
342
00:16:58,655 --> 00:17:00,405
That's the safe thing to do.
343
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:04,442
What are you saying,
egg chair woman?
344
00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:06,994
Zed Simms has no comfort zone.
345
00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:07,995
Prove it.
346
00:17:08,031 --> 00:17:12,700
Shoot your show in a real city.
347
00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:15,086
Cleveland.
348
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:18,423
Wait, I'm seeing it. Yes, ah.
349
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:22,710
The camera
rises out of the great lake...
350
00:17:22,712 --> 00:17:25,012
Erie?
351
00:17:25,048 --> 00:17:27,882
Sure.
352
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:30,184
In Malibu, you're not glamorous.
353
00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:31,686
Life has slapped you around,
354
00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:34,055
And you have
a lot of bad angles.
355
00:17:34,057 --> 00:17:38,393
But in a place that's gritty
and dark and damp,
356
00:17:38,395 --> 00:17:40,895
Oh, my god.
357
00:17:40,947 --> 00:17:45,316
In Cleveland, you're beautiful.
358
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,734
So I got the part?
359
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:48,820
Yes, yes. I have to go.
360
00:17:48,872 --> 00:17:50,705
I have to totally rewrite
the role.
361
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:51,956
Oh, wonderful.
362
00:17:51,991 --> 00:17:53,241
I already have notes.
363
00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:56,327
Which I'm already ignoring.
364
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,745
We did it, Victoria.
365
00:17:57,747 --> 00:18:00,748
We did, didn't we?
366
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,166
Oh, crap.
367
00:18:02,218 --> 00:18:04,669
I'm going back to Cleveland.
368
00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:05,970
Can we get out of here?
369
00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,221
What, are you kidding?
370
00:18:07,257 --> 00:18:09,841
I am the star
of a new HBO series
371
00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:14,512
In the VIP room of
the hottest restaurant in L.A.
372
00:18:14,564 --> 00:18:16,097
Oh, and look.
373
00:18:16,149 --> 00:18:18,182
Oh, they have a little window
in the floor
374
00:18:18,234 --> 00:18:21,819
Where you can look down
on the nobodies.
375
00:18:21,855 --> 00:18:24,238
And there's Joy and Melanie.
376
00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:28,109
Oh, nothing could get me
out of this place.
377
00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:30,528
[rumbling]
378
00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:33,247
Earthquake!
379
00:18:35,285 --> 00:18:40,505
[glass shatters]
380
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:41,923
We need
to evacuate the premises.
381
00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,375
Hot women and child stars first.
382
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:48,012
Oh, I hate L.A.
383
00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:50,598
Let's go home.
384
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:58,133
A round of Elka Ostrovskys
for you ladies.
385
00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,252
Hey, I thought
those were Victoria Chases.
386
00:19:00,304 --> 00:19:03,806
They were, but we renamed them
in honor of the councilwoman.
387
00:19:03,841 --> 00:19:06,175
Thanks for bringing jobs
to Cleveland.
388
00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:07,259
I had to.
389
00:19:07,261 --> 00:19:10,930
I spent so much money.
390
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:13,566
They're from those guys
over there.
391
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:15,568
Well, now that is more like it.
392
00:19:15,603 --> 00:19:17,653
Strong drinks
from good-looking men.
393
00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:19,238
[chuckles] it's good to be home.
394
00:19:19,273 --> 00:19:20,522
Oh, it is.
395
00:19:20,575 --> 00:19:23,359
It's so comforting to know
that, if hired to,
396
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:27,363
I could ruin any marriage
in here.
397
00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:29,081
L.A. Makes me shallow.
398
00:19:29,116 --> 00:19:30,282
When I was there,
399
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:32,084
I was jealous
of everyone else's success.
400
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,837
But here,
everyone's jealous of me.
401
00:19:34,872 --> 00:19:36,455
You know what L.A. is?
402
00:19:36,457 --> 00:19:38,707
L.A. is the sexy bad boyfriend.
403
00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:40,426
You keep going back to him,
thinking he's gonna change,
404
00:19:40,461 --> 00:19:41,794
But he's never going to.
405
00:19:41,796 --> 00:19:44,513
Cleveland,
he's our loving husband.
406
00:19:44,548 --> 00:19:46,432
You know, I've already been
with Cleveland
407
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:47,966
Longer than any husband
I've ever had.
408
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:53,749
He may not be glamorous, but he's
always there at the end of the day.
409
00:19:53,773 --> 00:19:56,671
And like a good husband,
Cleveland always thinks
410
00:19:56,671 --> 00:19:58,671
We're just a little bit
better than we are.
411
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,671
Buzz off ladies, I was here first.
412
00:20:02,695 --> 00:20:06,195
sync and corrections by Squallounet
www.addic7ed.com
413
00:20:06,245 --> 00:20:10,795
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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