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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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So in the debate,
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if Councilman Powell suggests
you're too old for city council,
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what would you say?
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I'd say I feel like
an energetic 40-year-old.
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In fact, I could go for one right now.
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Politics is a dirty business.
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Okay, you have got to stop binge-watching
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House of cards.
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You're not Kevin spacey.
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Stop talking to an imaginary camera.
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Okay, I'll stop. Fine.
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Or will I?
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Elka, you can't just wing this.
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The winner of this debate
has won the last five elections.
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I could concentrate a lot better
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if I had a cocktail.
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Just because the debate is at the bar
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doesn't mean you can drink.
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The only thing on the table
will be a pitcher of water.
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You know what looks
a lot like a pitcher of water?
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A pitcher of vodka.
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Just saying.
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Well, I'm off to meet J.J.
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So is it finally just you and him tonight?
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Oh, God, I hope so.
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Every time we go out, he invites people
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from the nearby tables to come join us.
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Well, I suppose tonight
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you could reserve all the tables
around you with fake names
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so that no one else shows up,
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but that would be selfish and unethical.
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Yes, that would be.
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You already did it, didn't you?
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Yes, I did.
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I just wish I understood why
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he doesn't want to be alone with me.
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A mystery for the ages.
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You always look so elegant.
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Every time we go out together,
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I feel like lady and the tramp
sharing a bowl of spaghetti.
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Oh, don't be silly, J.J. I don't eat carbs.
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So this is nice, isn't it?
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Just the two of us.
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Hi, folks. Welcome to Stormi's.
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And truly, thanks for coming.
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All these empty tables. No-shows.
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Who does that?
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Anyway, I'm heading out,
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but I'll take your drink orders
and send your waiter.
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- Two vodka Martinis.
- Okay.
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And, hey, if your shift is over,
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why don't you join us?
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No, I wouldn't want to interrupt
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your romantic dinner.
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Be right back.
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Jj, have I done something wrong?
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Why are you afraid to be alone with me?
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Are you not attracted to me?
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- I'm nuts about you.
- Well, then what is it?
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There's something I need to tell you.
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See, I started dating my wife
when she was nine years old.
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Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
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No, no, I was nine years old too.
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We were childhood sweethearts.
We even waited.
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We were virgins on our wedding night.
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Oh, that is so sweet
and dear and old-fashioned
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and so you.
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So just the one?
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Yeah, just the one woman,
but we did it a lot of times.
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And she had a subscription to Cosmo,
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so we tried stuff.
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You're answering questions I'm not asking.
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Well, I know you've had more than one.
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You've probably had more
like seven or eight.
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Well, seven or eight are in the number.
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And I'm not the kind of guy
who likes to admit he's scared.
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Well, you don't need to be.
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But how about from now on we keep our dates
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to just the two of us?
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Done. Nobody else.
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You know, I was thinking
about your kind offer,
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and I've been managing
this restaurant for 15 years,
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and no one's ever asked me
to join them before.
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Thank you.
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And the answer is yes.
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So what are we talking about?
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We were just talking about feelings
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and our relationship
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and the ins and outs
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of the emotional landscape of our future.
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Mm-hmm.
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You know what? I forgot.
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I do need to get home tonight.
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And that's how you get rid of a man
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and make him think it's his idea.
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Yeah, Elka, I'm at the bar now.
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Powell's people want to set
the debate up in the main room.
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Donald?
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Melanie.
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Oh, yeah, that English professor
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I used to date is here.
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Yeah, he does kind of look
like buzz Lightyear.
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Wow, Donald, hi.
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00:05:01,498 --> 00:05:03,582
So great to see you. How long's it been?
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- Like, two years, maybe.
- Wow.
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You still look as ravishing as ever.
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Well, when you talk like that,
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it makes me wonder
what we ever broke up about.
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Well, it's pedantic to insist,
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but one shouldn't end one's sentences
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with prepositions.
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Now I remember.
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Still haven't gotten over
your terminal pompousness, huh?
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You mean pomposity,
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and one doesn't get over terminal things.
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Well, you're a terminal pain in the ass,
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and I got over you.
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Did you?
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Okay, just to be clear,
it's been a long drought,
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so this is purely physical for me.
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Well, for me as well.
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It's not like I'm getting
anything intellectual.
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Oh, my God. Okay, you know what?
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You have to go.
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It may surprise you,
given your low opinion of me,
128
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but I am helping Elka out
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with her campaign for city council.
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Oh, doesn't surprise me one bit.
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In fact, I knew the entire time.
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00:06:02,225 --> 00:06:04,092
I'm coaching her opponent,
councilman Powell,
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00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:05,093
for the debate.
134
00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:07,429
What? Why didn't you tell me?
135
00:06:07,431 --> 00:06:09,314
I wouldn't have slept with you
if I'd known that.
136
00:06:09,349 --> 00:06:12,267
I think you answered your own question.
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00:06:12,318 --> 00:06:14,353
I'm like any other guy when it comes
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00:06:14,404 --> 00:06:16,905
to getting some fleeting,
barbarian pleasure.
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How's that for some barbarian pleasure?
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00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:28,450
[Upbeat music]
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Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba
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Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba
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Hey!
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Donald is councilman Powell's debate coach.
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I just slept with the enemy.
146
00:06:38,962 --> 00:06:40,762
Did you get any secrets out of him?
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00:06:40,797 --> 00:06:44,099
No, but I may have let one of ours slip.
148
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:46,802
I may have mentioned
that you seem a little crazy
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00:06:46,804 --> 00:06:49,688
now that you're talking
to an imaginary camera.
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00:06:49,722 --> 00:06:54,476
You talk about Elka
while you're having sex?
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00:06:54,478 --> 00:06:57,029
You know I'm not good at dirty talk.
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Well, I found out why J.J.'s been nervous
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about being alone with me.
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He's never been with another woman
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besides his wife.
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00:07:03,821 --> 00:07:05,487
Really. Only her?
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00:07:05,538 --> 00:07:08,624
- He's a one-gin.
- A one-gin?
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It's our term
for someone who's one step away
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from being a virgin.
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We really like each other,
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so it's really just a matter of time
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before I take his one-ginity.
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I'm not sure I could take
that kind of pressure,
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following somebody
who was the love of his life.
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Oh, I hadn't thought about that.
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And she died,
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so everything about her
becomes more heightened
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and perfect in his mind.
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That's how I feel
about my night with Sinatra.
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00:07:36,269 --> 00:07:41,273
Wait, I want people to know about that.
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That's how I feel
about my night with Sinatra.
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I don't want to compete
with his wife's memory.
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I just need to put that out of my mind.
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So if he's a one-gin,
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00:07:55,838 --> 00:08:00,625
what does that make you, a 10,000-gin?
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00:08:00,677 --> 00:08:04,346
I wouldn't talk about
how much gin one of us has had.
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00:08:06,883 --> 00:08:10,352
Every now and then,
I like to give her a victory.
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00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,227
Wow.
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I mean... wow.
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00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:29,736
- Great night.
- Lovely night.
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00:08:29,787 --> 00:08:33,706
- Should we go upstairs?
- We could.
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00:08:33,741 --> 00:08:35,408
Victoria, I know this is strange,
183
00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:38,661
but I keep thinking
my late wife is gonna walk in
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and catch me cheating on her.
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00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,582
And I keep thinking about
how much you loved her.
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00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,500
And you wrote
that beautiful movie about her,
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and I just don't know
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if I could ever be as good as her.
189
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:50,556
And I don't know if I could ever be as good
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00:08:50,591 --> 00:08:55,812
as those seven or eight guys
you've been with.
191
00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:57,847
I'm more scared now
than when they dropped me
192
00:08:57,898 --> 00:09:00,016
in a rice paddy in 'Nam.
193
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:03,352
I hope that's not an example
of your pillow talk.
194
00:09:03,404 --> 00:09:05,354
[Laughs]
195
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:06,606
I should be ready for this.
196
00:09:06,608 --> 00:09:09,826
I went to church. I lit a candle.
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00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:12,945
Sexy.
198
00:09:12,996 --> 00:09:14,831
You know what?
199
00:09:14,865 --> 00:09:17,533
We're both putting
too much pressure on ourselves.
200
00:09:17,584 --> 00:09:19,252
You're right. I mean, we're adults.
201
00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:20,787
We can wait.
202
00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:22,622
We'll know when the time is right.
203
00:09:22,624 --> 00:09:24,757
Mm, and when that time comes,
204
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:30,129
I know my wife will be
looking down on us and smiling.
205
00:09:30,131 --> 00:09:33,049
Again, sexy.
206
00:09:35,719 --> 00:09:37,019
How does this keep happening?
207
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,472
I don't even like you.
208
00:09:39,523 --> 00:09:42,191
We were just supposed to discuss
the debate ground rules.
209
00:09:42,226 --> 00:09:43,526
Well, we get angry at each other,
210
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,894
and the passion flows.
211
00:09:44,945 --> 00:09:46,395
It's like act three of Tosca
212
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,448
where Puccini so exquisitely captures...
213
00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:51,651
Oh, my God. I don't care.
214
00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:53,820
Can we just get back to the debate, okay?
215
00:09:53,871 --> 00:09:56,572
What is so wrong with using Joy
as the moderator?
216
00:09:56,623 --> 00:09:57,957
Melanie, come on.
217
00:09:57,991 --> 00:10:01,661
That is such an obvious ploy
it's almost beneath you.
218
00:10:01,663 --> 00:10:03,129
We need somebody impartial
219
00:10:03,163 --> 00:10:06,999
who won't steer the conversation
to benefit your candidate.
220
00:10:09,636 --> 00:10:11,754
Stop being so damn stubborn!
221
00:10:11,805 --> 00:10:15,224
I'm not taking clothing advice
from a limey bone bag
222
00:10:15,259 --> 00:10:19,595
who shops at sluts fifth Avenue.
223
00:10:19,646 --> 00:10:23,649
Said the geriatric booze bag
who shops at forever 91.
224
00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:28,321
You know what?
225
00:10:28,355 --> 00:10:31,274
We're fine with joy as the moderator.
226
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:32,492
Good evening, Cleveland.
227
00:10:32,526 --> 00:10:34,911
I'm Rejoyla Scroggs, your moderator.
228
00:10:34,945 --> 00:10:36,746
Welcome to the city council debate
229
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:38,531
between councilman Jim Powell
230
00:10:38,582 --> 00:10:40,867
and challenger Elka Ostrovsky.
231
00:10:40,918 --> 00:10:43,920
[Applause]
232
00:10:45,205 --> 00:10:46,372
With you helping him,
233
00:10:46,423 --> 00:10:48,007
he's gonna sound like a pompous windbag.
234
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:49,592
With you helping her, she's gonna sound
235
00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:51,043
like an uninformed bubblehead.
236
00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:53,462
I have collected questions
from the audience,
237
00:10:53,514 --> 00:10:56,048
and to the gentleman
who asked for my number,
238
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:57,049
I'm flattered
239
00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,052
but in a relationship and very happy.
240
00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:05,558
If you want her number,
check the men's room wall.
241
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,443
And if you want Elka's number,
242
00:11:07,477 --> 00:11:10,396
check the wall of king tut's tomb.
243
00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:15,818
Now, let's start the debate
244
00:11:15,869 --> 00:11:18,621
with councilman Powell's opening statement.
245
00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:20,323
I'm a disabled African-American
246
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:21,991
Ohio state football hero,
247
00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:25,411
and no offense, my opponent is not.
248
00:11:25,462 --> 00:11:28,414
You can't run on just that.
249
00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:29,715
The people seem to like it.
250
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,384
Kept me office for ten years.
251
00:11:31,418 --> 00:11:33,386
Well, that's about to change.
252
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:37,340
You're going down, Powell.
253
00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:39,258
Well, this is nice.
254
00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:42,395
Such a relief not to be thinking about sex.
255
00:11:42,429 --> 00:11:45,565
Huge relief.
256
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:49,068
I mean, there's nothing erotic
about a city council debate.
257
00:11:49,102 --> 00:11:53,940
I couldn't be less turned on.
258
00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:56,993
Now, Elka, would you like
to make your opening statement?
259
00:11:57,027 --> 00:11:59,695
More dog parks. Vote Elka.
260
00:11:59,746 --> 00:12:02,748
[Applause]
261
00:12:04,334 --> 00:12:07,370
Shades of Winston Churchill.
262
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:09,956
On to the next question.
263
00:12:09,958 --> 00:12:11,340
Councilman Powell,
264
00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:13,926
studies show that 20% of local sewer lines
265
00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:15,928
fail to meet municipal standards.
266
00:12:15,963 --> 00:12:17,930
20% below standards.
267
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:19,465
Now, that's something we wouldn't know
268
00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:23,803
if we were off having sex.
269
00:12:23,854 --> 00:12:25,605
So true.
270
00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:28,024
There's no reason to rush things.
271
00:12:31,395 --> 00:12:32,862
- Now?
- Now.
272
00:12:32,896 --> 00:12:36,983
- But we'll miss the debate.
- I have a radio in my car.
273
00:12:37,034 --> 00:12:38,200
Next question.
274
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,820
People like a candidate they can relate to.
275
00:12:40,822 --> 00:12:42,288
What makes you the candidate
276
00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:44,156
the people would like to have a drink with?
277
00:12:44,158 --> 00:12:49,161
I wonder who put that one in.
278
00:12:49,163 --> 00:12:52,465
Well, I'm just an Ohio state football hero,
279
00:12:52,499 --> 00:12:54,166
and for you listeners out there,
280
00:12:54,217 --> 00:12:57,303
my opponent is 92 years old,
281
00:12:57,337 --> 00:12:58,921
not exactly the type of person
282
00:12:58,972 --> 00:13:00,589
you want to knock back some cold ones with.
283
00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:03,759
Am I right?
284
00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:06,095
I might try a drink.
285
00:13:06,146 --> 00:13:09,515
I've been known to sip a little Sherry
286
00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:12,518
at Christmas.
287
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,521
Oh, no. Elka can't hold her liquor.
288
00:13:15,523 --> 00:13:18,357
She'll get drunk and embarrass herself.
289
00:13:21,028 --> 00:13:23,579
Well, since the voters have suggested it,
290
00:13:23,613 --> 00:13:25,197
why not have a beer right now?
291
00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:28,751
Or vodka shots.
292
00:13:28,785 --> 00:13:29,752
Seriously?
293
00:13:29,786 --> 00:13:32,538
If that's what the people want.
294
00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:34,957
[Cheers and applause]
295
00:13:35,008 --> 00:13:38,878
Set 'em up. We're doing shots.
296
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,347
It's almost too easy.
297
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,934
Which is why I promise
298
00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:49,154
to find more money for public schools.
299
00:13:49,156 --> 00:13:50,288
[Chuckles]
300
00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:52,991
[Applause]
301
00:13:56,829 --> 00:13:58,830
Councilman Powell, your rebuttal?
302
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,466
She said "butt."
303
00:14:04,337 --> 00:14:08,507
Actually miss Ostrovsky's
ludicrous assertion...
304
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,559
That school vouchers could ever be tenable
305
00:14:10,593 --> 00:14:12,844
for this community is nothing
more than a flight of fancy
306
00:14:12,846 --> 00:14:16,014
down a carrollian rabbit hole.
307
00:14:16,016 --> 00:14:20,652
Something, something, rabbit hole.
308
00:14:20,686 --> 00:14:22,354
What the hell?
309
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:27,075
Thank you councilman Powell
for that illuminating response.
310
00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,578
And for those of you keeping track at home,
311
00:14:29,612 --> 00:14:34,249
that's seven shots of vodka
for both candidates.
312
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:37,035
I'd be very surprised
if the presidential debaters
313
00:14:37,037 --> 00:14:38,870
adopted this format.
314
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:46,378
- That was amazing.
- Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
315
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:47,963
I kind of liked having a stick shift
316
00:14:48,014 --> 00:14:50,215
poking in my ribs again.
317
00:14:50,266 --> 00:14:51,466
You know, we spent so much time
318
00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,134
trying to be adult about everything
319
00:14:53,186 --> 00:14:57,689
when it turns out we just had
to be a couple of teenagers.
320
00:14:57,723 --> 00:15:00,141
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
321
00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:03,395
Yes, let's go back to my place
322
00:15:03,446 --> 00:15:06,114
and enjoy some silk sheets and champagne.
323
00:15:06,148 --> 00:15:08,700
Now we can be a couple
of teenagers with money.
324
00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:15,624
Actually my response
to your thought-provoking query
325
00:15:15,658 --> 00:15:17,542
might just surprise you.
326
00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:19,578
There you are, Donald.
327
00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:20,579
Melanie.
328
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,414
You look so sexy
329
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:26,918
I don't think I can keep my hands off you.
330
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,554
Oh. That feels good.
331
00:15:29,589 --> 00:15:32,257
Oh, that feels good.
332
00:15:34,894 --> 00:15:37,262
Don't stop.
333
00:15:37,264 --> 00:15:41,266
Wait until I get you home,
you dirty little girl.
334
00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:46,938
Councilman Powell? Councilman Powell?
335
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:51,192
I told you he was going down.
336
00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:52,611
Unfortunately councilman Powell
337
00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:53,695
has fallen ill.
338
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,330
I'm sure he would want to remind you
339
00:15:55,364 --> 00:15:57,449
that he is a disabled African-American
340
00:15:57,451 --> 00:16:00,952
Ohio state football hero.
341
00:16:00,954 --> 00:16:03,288
Well, seeing as we only have one candidate
342
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:04,623
who is still conscious,
343
00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,841
it looks like the debate is over,
344
00:16:06,876 --> 00:16:09,044
so by default...
345
00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:13,048
Not so fast,Downton abbey.
346
00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:14,466
Who are you?
347
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:17,969
I am councilman Powell's
aunt Esther Jean Johnson.
348
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:21,773
- I will take his place.
- She can't do that.
349
00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:25,894
Actually, sub clause 8.3
allows for substitutions.
350
00:16:25,945 --> 00:16:28,196
I've read the bylaws.
351
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:32,150
"I've read the bylaws."
352
00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:35,036
All right.
353
00:16:35,071 --> 00:16:37,539
Councilman Powell, when you were elected,
354
00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:40,992
you promised to put lights up
in the park baseball fields.
355
00:16:40,994 --> 00:16:43,161
- Why hasn't that happened?
- What?
356
00:16:43,163 --> 00:16:45,997
I told him to do that.
357
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,249
I also told him
to go to church every Sunday,
358
00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:51,303
but he didn't do that either.
359
00:16:51,337 --> 00:16:53,388
Oh, that boy gets me riled.
360
00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:54,756
Right, next question.
361
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:57,509
You know what the problem
is with young people?
362
00:16:57,511 --> 00:17:00,228
Is they don't understand hard work.
363
00:17:00,262 --> 00:17:03,098
They ask, "how much do I get
to mow the lawn?"
364
00:17:03,149 --> 00:17:08,820
And then I ask, "well, what do
I get for not whupping you?"
365
00:17:08,854 --> 00:17:11,856
Preaching to the choir.
366
00:17:11,858 --> 00:17:15,110
And don't get me started
on young men in coffee shops
367
00:17:15,161 --> 00:17:18,530
ordering them nonfat decaf soy lattes.
368
00:17:18,581 --> 00:17:22,951
Cowboy up and order some milk.
369
00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:25,453
Is that really a pressing problem?
370
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:28,206
Well, who asked you,
skinny-ass Mary Poppins?
371
00:17:30,292 --> 00:17:33,628
That's a good one.
372
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:36,214
And what about men who say they'll call you
373
00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:37,515
but they don't?
374
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:41,386
They will if I'm elected.
375
00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:43,888
I like your style, honey child.
376
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,358
But why do you have to run
against my nephew?
377
00:17:46,392 --> 00:17:48,026
Can't you run against someone else?
378
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:51,279
Your nephew wants to close
all the dog parks.
379
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:55,817
What? Oh, hell no.
380
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:59,404
I take my dogs to the park every day.
381
00:17:59,406 --> 00:18:01,873
Now, where are Bling and Teddy Pendergrass
382
00:18:01,907 --> 00:18:03,625
supposed to do their business?
383
00:18:03,659 --> 00:18:06,211
That's what I'm saying.
384
00:18:06,245 --> 00:18:10,215
Everybody, I am changing my vote.
385
00:18:10,249 --> 00:18:13,668
Councilman Powell's
Beyonce look-alike aunt...
386
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,837
- What?
- It'll be on the radio.
387
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,589
They can't see.
388
00:18:17,591 --> 00:18:21,726
Anyway, I'm supporting Elka,
and you should too.
389
00:18:21,761 --> 00:18:25,680
[Cheers and applause]
390
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:28,016
Now, stand up and give me a hug.
391
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,402
I am standing up.
392
00:18:30,436 --> 00:18:33,104
Oh, well, then just give me some sugar.
393
00:18:33,106 --> 00:18:34,939
Out of my way, London bridge.
394
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:42,363
[Applause]
395
00:18:42,415 --> 00:18:45,533
And that's how you do politics.
396
00:18:48,273 --> 00:18:49,474
Congratulations, Elka.
397
00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:51,943
You fired up the cranky old lady vote.
398
00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,311
There's gonna be a lot of cars
399
00:18:53,362 --> 00:18:57,615
driving very slowly to the polls.
400
00:18:57,649 --> 00:18:59,033
I'm no hero.
401
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:04,205
I'm just a 92-year-old woman
who had 10 shots of vodka.
402
00:19:04,239 --> 00:19:06,324
And congratulations to you, Victoria.
403
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,826
You and J.J. finally got together.
404
00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:10,244
I'm no hero.
405
00:19:10,295 --> 00:19:15,333
I'm just a 10-year-old woman
who had 92 shots of vodka.
406
00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:24,342
You know, you try to be
so careful and mature,
407
00:19:24,393 --> 00:19:25,676
but sometimes you just have to do
408
00:19:25,678 --> 00:19:29,847
what comes naturally and repeatedly.
409
00:19:29,898 --> 00:19:31,265
You really like him, don't you?
410
00:19:31,316 --> 00:19:32,683
I do.
411
00:19:32,735 --> 00:19:34,185
Yeah, I think we were both just afraid
412
00:19:34,236 --> 00:19:35,603
because we see a future in this,
413
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:37,688
and we don't want to make a mistake.
414
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:39,574
Well, maybe I'm so afraid
of making a mistake
415
00:19:39,608 --> 00:19:42,610
that I'm choosing men
I have no future with.
416
00:19:42,661 --> 00:19:45,363
I just want to wake up
with someone I can stand.
417
00:19:45,365 --> 00:19:48,866
I have that with Mitch. I'm gonna call him.
418
00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:50,501
Yeah, I'm gonna call J.J..
419
00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:52,453
I'm gonna call Donald.
420
00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:55,873
- Donald!
- Yes, milady.
421
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:58,876
- He's here?
- Yeah, he's upstairs.
422
00:19:58,878 --> 00:20:02,797
I'll choose a man
I have a future with tomorrow.
423
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:06,217
With apologies to the bard,
pray borrow cupid's wings,
424
00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:08,986
soar with them above
to this our common bed.
425
00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:12,656
[Sighs] He's such a schmuck.
426
00:20:13,939 --> 00:20:15,139
Coming
427
00:20:15,238 --> 00:20:16,838
So, should we call it a night?
428
00:20:17,826 --> 00:20:19,026
I'm no hero.
429
00:20:19,626 --> 00:20:25,826
I'm just a 92-year-old vodka
who had 10 shots of women
430
00:20:25,926 --> 00:20:29,426
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431
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