All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s06e23 Look at the Pretty Snowflakes.eng

( theme song playing )

CARTER:
* Let's take a boat to Bermuda *

♪ Let's take a
trip to St. Paul ♪

♪ Let's take a kayak
to Quincy or Nyack ♪

Carter!
* Let's get away from it all. *

Will you stop
that singing, please?

How can I write
to this bird

about how
miserable I am,

if you're going
to sound so bloody happy?

And with that voice,
you shouldn't sing

where there's
open food.

Oh, you're both
just jealous of my assignment.

(laughs)
Did you hear that?

He says we're jealous
'cause he's going into town.

That's a laugh.

The woods are filled
with SS men.

Right, and you're going
to have to walk

through two feet of snow
in freezing weather.

And for what?

To meet a girl from
the Dutch underground?

Who cares if she's
a beautiful dancer at the Hausnerhof.

Right, LeBeau?

Let's break
both his legs.

I'll go along
with that.

You didn't
fool me for one minute.

Hey, Newkirk,
where do you keep

the old
shaving lotion?

Not a chance,
Andrew.

Hey.

Carter, you're still here.

I'm just about ready
to go, Colonel.

He tried to borrow some
of my after-shave lotion.

Use some of mine;
it's in my footlocker.

Thanks, Colonel.

Hey, LeBeau, what
are you cooking?

Coq au vin.
Mmm.

You know, with
the food shortage,

Carter would probably
have a better chance

if he rubbed his
face with garlic.

Message from London, sir.

An all-out air
strike is on the way.

What's the target?

It's Mount Hoffenstein Pass.

It's just outside
Hammelburg.

General Strommberger's Third
Panzer Division is moving up.

They're going to try
to knock it out.

Does that mean Carter
can't go into town?

Not with all that
bombing going on.

(humming)

What's that for?

I want to get a picture
of Carter's face

when he hears the news

that he can't go into town
to see that bird.

You English are cruel.

Right. We still have
the hangmen, you know.

That's great-smelling stuff,
Colonel,

not that I'm going to need it.

Uh, I'm afraid I have
bad news, Carter.

The assignment's off.

What?!

Got it for posterity.

Thanks, pal.

Sorry, Carter,

but a big air raid
is on the way.

Maybe I can make it into town
before the raid.

You'd be killed by the bombs
on the way back.

Yeah, but if things go
the way I planned, who cares?

( shuddering )

Well, look who's here.

Rudolph the red-nosed Kraut.

What's the matter,
Schultz?

You look like
a fat Popsicle.

Please, boys, no jokes.

You're looking at
a very sick man.

I have a terrible...

( sneezes )
...chest cold.

Why don't you go
on sick call?

The doctor doesn't want
to see me.

He's afraid he'll catch my cold.

And the weatherman said
there will be more snow.

That's a blessing
in disguise, Schultz.

You'll be able to get used
to the weather

before they transfer you
to the Russian front.

Oh, you English are so cruel.

They still have
the hangmen, you know.

Oh, Cockroach.

Could you make me
a mustard plaster?

There is not that much
mustard in Germany.

Oh, Cockroach, please.

You are looking
at a dying man.

Schultz, he'll make it for you.

Oh, thank you,
Colonel Hogan.

Would you believe it?

I can't even smell
what you're cooking.

It's coq au vin.
(gasps)

Oh, my favorite.

Oh, please, rub a little sauce
on the mustard plaster.

(chuckles)

And throw a few slices
of chicken on it, too.

And Colonel Hogan, please,

Commandant Klink wants
to see you in the office.

Yeah, tell him I'll be
right there, Schultz.

Ooh.

( wind howling )

There's a bad break.

With that weather outside,

they're going to have
to scrub the mission.

Well, what about that
Panzer division, sir?

Maybe the underground
could help.

Why don't I go in town,
see that dancer?

In this weather?

You'll freeze to death.

It's better than never
to have loved at all.

( knock at door )

Come in, come in, come in.

You wanted to see me,
Commandant?

Yes, Hogan, I would
like you and your men

to volunteer
for an assignment.

What kind of
an assignment?

One of our trucks
is buried in the snow,

and we need someone
to shovel it out.

Why don't you order
your men to do it?

Because my men are
guarding your men,

and it is very difficult

to hold a gun and a
shovel at the same time.

It's no problem.

We'll hold their guns
for them.

I'm not in the mood
for the Hogan wit.

I'm merely asking your men
to shovel snow.

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm
going to have to refuse.

My men can't handle the
change in temperature.

It isn't that cold outside.

Well, I know.

They can't stand the
drop in temperature

when they get back inside.

Dismissed, Hogan.

Uh, of course, if you'd like
to throw in new overcoats,

new jackets,
new woolen pants...

Oh, I suppose you'd like
to have them tailor-made.

Oh, no, we're not fancy.

We'll just take them
right off the rack.

Dismissed, Hogan.

( knock at door )

Come in, come in.

Herr Kommandant, a General
Strommberger to see you.

(sniffles)
General Strommberger?

I thought he was with
the 442nd Artillery Division.

Oh, that's Bromberger.

Strommberger's with the
Third Panzer Division.

Ah, General Strommberger.

How nice to see you.

Who is he, your
information officer?

I'm Colonel Hogan,
one of the prisoners, sir.

I'm Sergeant Schultz.
Schultz!

Dismissed,
and take Hogan with you.

Nice meeting you,
General.

Your prisoners seem to be
well informed, Colonel.

Oh, not at all,
Herr General.

The only information they get
is from our Propaganda Ministry.

Then how did he know
that I was commander

of the Third
Panzer Division?

Oh, rumors.

You know guards,
how they gossip.

Well, then I'll
give them something better to do.

The road to Hammelburg
has been closed by the snow.

I need your men to
clear it for my Panzers.

(chuckling):
Oh, that's impossible.

What do you mean,
"impossible"?

Well, it would not give me
enough guards

to guard my prisoners.

Then get your prisoners
to clear the road.

I'm afraid that can't
be done, sir.

STROMMBERGER ( over intercom ):
And just why can't you order

your prisoners
to clear the road?

KLINK:
It's against the Geneva Convention

to force them to work.

Then offer them
extra rations.

I'm afraid they don't like
the food.

How do they feel
about being shot?

KLINK ( over intercom ):
Oh, I never asked them that.

That Strommberger's
a nasty one, isn't he?

Not exactly Smilin' Jack.

I want that Hammelburg
road cleared

by your prisoners
or by your guards.

If those Panzers
get through,

they could wipe out
a whole division.

There may be a way
to stop them.

Where are you
going, Colonel?

Volunteer us for some
snow shoveling.

Klink, I don't think they
would be too happy in Berlin

if I report that you are
coddling your prisoners here.

(chuckling):
Me? Coddling prisoners?

I run the only POW camp

where the barracks are colder
than the cooler.

Excuse me, General.

I just wanted to tell
Colonel Klink...

my men are interested
in making a deal

to shovel the snow
from that buried truck, sir.

What kind of a deal?

An extra blanket per man.

Agreed.

Never mind the truck!

I need the men
to clear the road.

Can you meet his deal?

Of course-- I'll give you
the blankets and long underwear.

I'll give you
long underwear, blankets

and a basket
of fresh fruit.

How about three bottles
of Liebfraumilch?

I give you...
Klink!

You will have your men ready to
leave for town in a half hour!

Don't forget our deal.

STROMMBERGER:
Colonel Hogan.

Your deal is if your men
do not clear the road,

they will be shot.

I don't remember
that part of it.

(assorted shouting)

GUARD:
I will tell you when to get into the truck.

Come on! Stand back,
now stand back.

Line up
and turn around!

Hands up!

Now turn around!

BAKER:
Somebody must have given him Heinrich Himmler pill.

GUARD:
How would you like to be shot as an escaping prisoner?

Not necessarily.

All we want to do
is get in the truck.

It's bloody freezing
out here.

If you're looking
for a cigarette, pal,

I think they're in
my other pants pocket.

One more attempt at bribery,
and I will turn you in.

He's a jolly fellow,
isn't he?

I think he's bucking
for president

of Martin Bormann Fan Club.

What is in that bag?

Sandwiches
and hot coffee.

By order of
Commandant Klink.

All right.

Everybody into the truck.

Come on!
All right, don't push!

( men yelling )
Come on!

All right, all right.
Raus, schnell!

Come on.

Schnell!

Hey, watch it!
Knock it off.

You bloody Kraut.

Hope you lose.

You twerps!

Filthy Boche!

Boy, it's a good thing

you weren't holding
that bag of explosives.

Carter!

I'm sorry.

Why don't you go
on the Berlin radio

and broadcast the news.

Well, I said
I was sorry.

Here, I'll hold
the goodies.

Come on.

Do you think there's
enough explosives

to stop the
Panzer division?

No, that would take
at least a truckload.

All we have to do is
stop the lead Panzers.

That'll block
the pass.

GUARD:
Achtung!

Now what?

Everybody out of the truck.

Leave everything inside.

There's been
a change of plans.

You will go
in another truck.

The equipment will come
in this one.

Now out you walk!
Heraus!

NEWKIRK:
Oh, blimey.

Hey, that's our lunch!

Now it is my lunch.

( can and bag clanking )

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Uh... nothing,
it's just cold.

Just stay there.

The other truck will pick you
right up.

There almost wasn't
anything left of us.

What happens when
he opens that bag?

You know, I somehow
don't think that...

( truck engine starts )

...that he will.

You know what I mean?

Well, there goes
our truck.

There go
my explosives.

There goes
a wonderful guy.

( explosion )

There goes
our lunch.

SCHULTZ:
All right, everybody!

Out, out, out, out, out, out!

Come on out, schnell,
schnell, schnell, schnell.

Out, out, out,
everybody out!

(groaning)

Come on, everybody, out!

Come on, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go!

Hey, look!

Hey, Schultz, is that true--
dancing every night?

That's right!

This week, we are dancing
to the music

of Bertha Baumgarten
and her All-Girl Orchestra.

Sounds like
a swinging band, Schultz.

Oh, when Bertha blows
"Melancholy Baby" on her trumpet

she drives me out of my mind!

Any chance that we
stay and see the show?

Absolutely not.

We are going to stay
at the Hofbrau only

until the pick and shovels
arrive.

Now, into the Hofbrau--
raus, raus, raus, raus!

All right, all right,
we're going, we're going.

( Carter shuddering )

I'm freezing.
Hi.

( men greet woman )

Hey, look, Colonel, the girls
left their instruments.

Hey, we could have
a little jam session.

Not now, Carter;
come on over here.

Carter!

Put the horn down, huh.

It's my instrument.

Just one lick, Colonel.

( spirals loud and out of key )

Hey, they're
playing our song.

My lips still have
that old magic.

Oh, boy, could I
go on now, Carter?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Now that we've lost
our explosives,

the only chance we have to stall
those Panzer divisions

is to do a lousy job
at clearing that pass.

Well, if you don't mind
me saying so, sir,

you couldn't pick
a better group to do a lousy job.

Yeah, I've never
been much for shoveling snow.

In my house, the nanny
always did the shoveling.

At my house,
it was the chauffeur.

I knew I could count
on you boys.

SCHULTZ:
Achtung! Achtung!

Gather around, boys.

The commandant would like
to have a... a word with you.

( sneezes )
Gesundheit, Schultz.

Thank you,
Colonel.

Now, I've got good news
and bad news for you.

Tell us
the good news first, sir.

CARTER:
I've always liked to hear the bad news first.

Yeah, I agree
with Carter.

I'd rather hear
the bad news first, too. Now, wait a minute.

I'm a good-news-
first" man myself.

CARTER:
All right, let's be democratic.

We'll take a vote on it.

Everybody that wants
to hear the bad news first?

Everybody who wants to hear
the good news first? Uh-huh.

What am I doing?

I decide what I give you first.
Oh, what's it going to be, sir?

The good news first.
And what's the good news?

The snowplows have arrived,

and your men will not have
to go to work.

What's the bad news?

I caught Schultz's cold.

( sneezes )

What happened to "Gesundheit"?

I'm sorry, sir-- Gesundheit.

You think more of Schultz's
health than mine?

Well,Herr Kommandant,

I have always been closer
to the prisoners.

Actually, we figured any germ
in its right mind

would never have the nerve
to attack you, sir.

Schultz, load the men
into the truck

and take them back to camp.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

( sneezes )

PRISONERS:
Gesundheit!

I didn't hear you, Schultz.

Well, you haven't exactly
been showering Schultz

with the "Gesundheits"
either, sir.

( grunts )

All right, fellas,
let's go, let's go.

Let's go, come on..

NEWKIRK:
All right then.

What now, sir?

We've got to think of
a way to stay in town.

How about slashing
the tires?

No, too many trucks.

SCHULTZ:
Colonel Hogan!

Please, come on, let's go.

NEWKIRK:
In his truck.

In the truck, please!

CARTER:
Hey, look!

Look at that icicle.

Carter,
don't touch it.

All that snow might
fall off the roof.

Yeah, Baker's right.

Colonel Klink!

Yes, what is it,
Hogan?

I think you better have
a look at this, sir.

What do you want, Hogan?!

Just this, sir.

I wanted you to see
how dangerous it was

with all that snow on the roof,
but now there's no problem.

( sneezes )

Gesundheit,
Herr Kommandant.

I'll see you
back at camp.

But Commandant,
you're not going back to camp

in those wet clothes, are you?

Colonel Hogan's
right, sir.

With your cold, it
could be dangerous.

I think you have a good point
there, Sergeant Baker.

Slightest chill, sir,
could mean pneumonia.

Yes, yes, I do feel a chill.

I think it's walking pneumonia.

Me? Walking pneumonia?

You're walking, aren't you?

That's the first sign of it.

It's no more
"Gesundheits."

It's "auf Wiedersehen."

( shrieks softly )

I do feel
a fever coming on.

Schultz, I think
you better get the commandant

to a hotel room.

You should be in bed
walking around.

Yes, Colonel Hogan.

HOGAN:
Two aspirin

every four hours
with plenty of liquid.

And stay by his bedside.

You're very kind,
Hogan.

That's all right, sir--
and don't worry about us.

We'll just spend the night
here at the Hofbrau.

You know, Schultz,

when you have a man
like that for an enemy,

you don't need any friends.

NEWKIRK:
Beautifully handled, sir.

Yeah, we still have
to come up with a plan

on how to stop those
Panzers at the pass.

Well, we can think
about it tonight

while we're dancing
to the music

of Bertha Baumgarten
and her All-Girl Orchestra.

There won't be
any dancing, Carter;

the place is closed
on Mondays.

Hey, maybe one of
us could go out

and change
the road sign, sir.

That'd reroute
the Panzers.

Newkirk, the Panzers
don't read road signs.

They got maps.

CARTER:
Hey, I got it, Colonel.

What is it, Carter?

I contact that dancer
at the Hausnerhof.

She gets a message
to the underground;

they get a message
to London;

then they could send over
a squadron of bombers

as soon as the pass
is cleared

and the Panzers
come through.

Carter, the reason they're
not sending the bombers now

is the weather's too bad.

Why don't I wait
in her dressing room

till the weather changes?

Oh, that could
be spring.

I get lucky, spring will be
a little late this year.

It stopped snowing, Colonel.

HOGAN:
Oh, swell.

I was hoping the storm
might slow down the snowplows.

Why couldn't I go out,
Colonel,

disguised as a mechanic?

Yeah, check
on those snowplows.

See, I could
foul the plugs, see,

and then they couldn't
get them started,

and then the pass
would be blocked,

and the Panzers
couldn't come through.

Carter, it's five miles
to the pass and back.

In this weather,
you'd be frozen stiff.

Well, I thought
about that, sir.

(clears throat)
I thought what I might do

is I might drop by
that old Hausnerhof.

I'm sure that dancer has
a heater in her dressing room.

I don't know
about the rest of you,

but he's driving me
bloody crackers.

SCHULTZ:
Achtung!Achtung!

Don't tell me Klink
got out of his deathbed.

General Strommberger wants
to have a word with you.

Who cares?

Please, boys, do me a favor
just once

and line up here, please.

NEWKIRK:
What's the lineup for?

Oh, "What's
the lineup for?"

Please, Newkirk.

Whatever I ask
of you people,

you never do
anything for me.

I'm doing it,
I'm doing it. Achtung!

Chain these men
together.

( all express awe )

HOGAN:
Just a minute, General.

That's a violation
of the Geneva Convention.

We're a volunteer work unit.

I am not interested
in the Geneva Convention.

If any of you made an attempt
to escape,

my guards would not be able
to shoot you.

So far,
I'm with you, General.

But why not?

I have relieved my men
of their guns.

We have a report of
a threat of an avalanche

in Hofenstein Pass.

The slightest noise
could trigger it.

What?
I mean...

( screams ):
What?!

It would take more
than that, Corporal.

(chuckles)

Sergeant Schultz, you are
responsible for these men.

Jawohl, General.

HOGAN:
Come on, Schultz,

you've got to be kidding
with these hokey chains.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,

I'm a simple sergeant
who obeys orders.

Yeah, well,
take these chains off,

and that's an order!

Newkirk, I'm in
enough trouble with General Strommberger!

Imagine, I had to come
all the way to Germany

to be in a chain gang.

Baker's right.

We're ruddy
convicts.

( sighs )

We got to figure a way
to start that avalanche.

If we could only
get off these chains.

All right, don't panic;
we'll think of something.

Hey, what about this
cigarette lighter?

Oh, that won't
give enough heat to melt these chains.

( starts playing loudly )

Hold it, Carter,
we're trying to think of something, huh?

Sorry.

What I meant,

maybe we could start
a fire over by that wall,

and it'd melt
the shackle off.

It'd be a little obvious,
wouldn't it--

five guys running down
the street chained together?

( resumes spiraling )

Carter! You heard
the Colonel.

You know you can't
play that thing.

Wait a minute,
hold it, hold it.

We might be able
to use Hot Lips here.

Well, aside from driving
the enemy insane,

what do you have
in mind, sir?

To trigger
that avalanche.

Hey, that's
a good idea.

Carter, can you blow
a high C?

Are you kidding?

A lot of people say

I play the trumpet
a lot like Armstrong.

Louis or Jack?

Just listen to this.

Now, now, hold
it, Satchmo.

I think
that'll do it.

However...

let's have
a little jam session.

LeBeau,
take the piano. Right.

Hey, I'll handle
the bass, sir.

I'll handle the drums--
Newkirk, you play anything?

Uh... yes, sir.
I'll play the leader.

If you'll follow
me, gentlemen.

Follow me.

LeBEAU:
Am I going to be the last one?

NEWKIRK:
Right, all move together. All we need's Snow White.

( laughter,
overlapping speaking )

This is fun,
isn't it?

There we go.

All right,
let's do "Cherokee," huh?

Yeah, I used to get a lot
of requests for that.

Oh, swell.
We'll do it in B-flat.

I got the first four.
Newkirk?

All right, gentlemen.

Two for free, and away we go--
one, two,

a-one, two,
three, four.

( playing high-pitched
and off-key )

All right now.

( band plays enthusiastically )

Higher!

( driving drum solo )

( drums echoing )

( all play loud big finale )

( shatters )

SCHULTZ:
What's going on?

What's going on?!

Oh, hi, Schultz; we were
just having a jam session.

Would you like to have
a little dance, Schultz?

The next one's going
to be a waltz.

Please, will
you stop it?

The general...

STROMMBERGER:
Achtung!

Achtung!

Put down
those instruments!

( instruments clattering )

We were just rehearsing
for the POW prom. ( all agree )

Hey, if you're going to be
in town that day, stop by.

We're all going to be stag.

I know exactly what your
little plan was, Colonel Hogan,

but you did not trigger
the avalanche.

All you did was break
the window,

for which you will reimburse
the management.

Does the general
have any requests at all, sir?

We have a lovely
arrangement

of "Deutschland
Über Alles."

You may get that opportunity
sooner than you think.

Sergeant Schultz...
Jawohl!

Load these men in the truck
and take them back to the camp.

Jawohl, General!

HOGAN:
Well, we tried.

Oh, please, boys,
get into the truck,

or General Strommberger
is going to shoot me.

He can't do
that, Schultz.

Nobody's got
any guns.

Oh, I never thought of that.

Now's a good time
to tell him what you think of him.

Come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go!

Raus, raus, raus,
raus, raus.

Let's go to the truck.

Let's go, let's go!

Can't you
make it faster?

Come on, come on,
come on! All right.

Cold.

NEWKIRK:
Look who's coming.

Colonel Klink, what are you
doing out of that sick bed?

Please, Hogan...

There's nothing wrong
with Colonel Klink.

Right, Klink?

Right, Herr General.

I have never felt better
in my life.

( sneezes )

Klink! You fool!

Look what you've...

( loud rumbling )

I think they're playing
our song.

Klink, you
hear that?

You have triggered
the avalanche!

But, General,
I...

( sneezes )

I didn't mean it,
Herr General.

Just a minute, Colonel.

You owe the general
one "Gesundheit."

( grunts )

SCHULTZ:
Raus, everybody, raus.

And don't take all day to do it.

Well, don't
rush us, Schultz.

We don't even have
to shovel this stuff.

NEWKIRK:
Hey, and another thing, Schultzy--

according to
the Geneva Convention,

prisoners do not have
to go out in the snow

unless they want to play
with it.

And the only reason
we're out here is

because it's warmer
than the barracks.

They're right,
Schultz.

I think you ought
to apologize.

All right, all right,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

I'm just obeying orders!

KLINK:
Schultz!

Oh, what does he want?

Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

What is it?

Schultz, get some aspirin
from the dispensary immediately.

Oh, then
you noticed, huh?

Noticed what?

My heavy eyes and my runny nose.

They're for me, stupid.

( mumbling ):
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Colonel...

after you get that aspirin,

you ought to go
to bed, sir.

Hogan, I don't see you
wearing a medical insignia.

Just trying to help.

You better get rid
of that cold.

You don't want to start
another avalanche.

I didn't start
the avalanche, Hogan.

I shouldn't have
mentioned it.

General Strommberger
probably gave you a good going-over.

Hogan, the general knows
as well as I do,

you cannot start an
avalanche with a sneeze.

Dismissed!

Okay.

( sneezes )

Gesundheit.

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