All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s05e20 One Army at a Time.eng

( theme music playing )

All right, let's
run it down again.

All of us here?

One of our Krauts
is missing.

Carter!

CARTER:
Yes, sir!

I hate to rush
you, Carter,

but I promised
General Marshall

to keep the war
on schedule.

I'm sorry,
Colonel.

Newkirk, you made
the pants too long.

Would you like
your money back?

Sorry,
no refunds given

once the trousers
have left the shop.

Look, we'll get you a better
tailor in World War III, okay?

Now, heads up.

This is the Millheim
railroad bridge.

According to the
underground information,

they change
the guard at 10:00.

We'll get there
a half hour early,

bluff the guard
and take over.

We'll wire the bridge,
and that's that.

Right. This
high ground here

we'll use for observation
before we move in.

Kinch, I want you to cover
this area of the woods.

They may have a patrol
backing up the bridge unit.

Got it, Colonel.

Okay, let's move out.

Carter!

Would you keep
your pants on?

That's
a direct order.

Yes, sir.

( groans )

LeBEAU:
Get up already.

Looks okay.

Nice and quiet down there.

All right, let's go.

( quietly ):
Kraut patrol, Colonel, four men.

How close?

Lower your voice.

Right, let's go
back to camp.

Everybody,
you're on your own.

Move it.

Soldier!

Uh, yeah... I mean, ja.

"Ja" is what I mean,
definitely "ja."

Where did you
find that?

It was right here.

Good work.

Pick up this stuff.

We will go back
and make our report on this.

Fall in!

Fall in!

Follow me.

Very nice
little operation.

Not only don't we blow
the bridge,

we lose the dynamite,
the detonator and Carter.

Beautiful.

We should have
stayed home.

I was willing.

Remember, Louis?
I said,

"Let's have a little sleep
and think about it."

Aah, shut up.

Make that an order.

He should have been here
an hour ago.

What happened?

He had the detonator
in his hand.

Looked to me

like he couldn't make up
his mind about taking it.

Maybe he tried
to carry

the detonator
and the dynamite.

Nah, he never
would have made it.

Not and hold
his pants up at the same time.

You think we ought
to go out again, Colonel,

try to find him?

I hate to think what
could happen to him.

I'm not worried
in the least.

You're a great comfort
to us, Newkirk.

Listen, sir,
Andrew's very clever.

Any moment now, he's
going to come climbing up

through that tunnel
as nice as you please.

Maybe, but I have
a terrible feeling

he's in some Gestapo jail
strung up by his thumbs.

( men laughing )

Out there it was cold,
but we did our job.

Now...

Gott und Führer.

OTHERS:
Gott und Führer!

Prosit!

Ja, prosit!

By all means, prosit!

Ah...

That's good beer, huh?

Wunderbar.

I mean, in this case,
would it be Wunderbier?

Achtung!

OFFICER:
Heil Hitler.

As you were.

This is the man.

Achtung!

( clicks heels )

( clicks heels )

He found
the dynamite

and the saboteurs'
equipment.

Very good.

How did this happen?

Uh... how did
it happen?

Ja, how
did it happen?

Ja, how did
it happen?

Ja.

Well, I was walking
through the woods.

On your way here?

Ja, on my way
here to, uh...

Ja, ja,
go on, go on.

Ja, to, uh...

Ja, to the Fourth
Panzer Brigade.

So?

Uh, so,
I heard a noise,

I went to investigate
and I found the stuff.

Very clever.

Danke.

Once in a while
you get lucky.

Your name?

Uh... my name?

Ja, your name.

Ja! My name...

The papers,
the papers.

My papers, ja,
my papers.

Oh, and there's my name,
Private Hans Wagner.

Ja, I can read.

It's a very good record.

Invasion of Poland,
Battle of France, Eastern Front.

Boy, was it ever cold.

( chuckles )

( clicks heels )

We are waiting
for replacements like yourself.

Where are your orders?

Uh... my orders?

Your orders.

Ja, uh, my orders,
uh, uh, my orders, uh...

Ja?

My orders.

I'm... I'm...

I must have lost them.

Well, you have
a good record.

Sergeant, make this man
acting corporal.

He has the experience.

Jawohl,
Herr Kapitän.

Acting corporal?
Me?

Congratulations.

Danke.

Good boy.

( knock at door )

What a sight.

Wake him up, Schultz.

Jawohl, Major.

Herr Kommandant, please.

Herr Kommandant,
please wake up.

( muttering )

He's a very heavy
sleeper.

Ja, I know,
a heavy sleeper

and a light thinker.

Get him up!

Jawohl, Major.

Herr Kommandant.

Wake up!

Bitte, Herr Kommandant!

Wake up, Herr Kommandant!

Bitte, wake up!

Heil Hitler!

No, no, no, no.

It's Major Hochstetter.

Heil Hochstetter!

Oh, oh,
Major Hochstetter.

What... what... what
are you doing here?

What's happening?

There was an
attempted sabotage

on the Millheim
railroad bridge.

It failed.

Oh, that's terrible.

Why must they do
these things at night?

We are checking
all stalags

for possible
escapees.

Order a roll call
at once.

A roll call at this hour?

Are you crazy, Major?

I am so crazy,
I may have you arrested

if you don't do
as I say!

That's crazy enough
for me.

For me, too.

Schultz,
don't stand there

like a fat statue.

Give the orders!

Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant.

What is this thing
on your head?

Oh, oh, that.

It has
a special ointment

to stimulate
the growth of my hair.

Ja, ja.

Any possibility
it might stimulate

some activity
under the scalp?

Raus, raus!

Everybody, roll call!

You must be kidding,
Schultz!

Come on, LeBeau,
"Raus," I said!

No back talk
at all!

Don't push me!

What do you
mean, don't push you?

Raus,
everybody! Raus!

Let's go!

Newkirk,
Newkirk! Raus!

What about Carter?

Yeah,
we can't stall much longer.

Newkirk's going to do
some fancy footwork.

That's
the wrong man.

I beg
your pardon, Schultz.

This is not the man
who stands here.

What man is that?

Carter.

Carter who?

It's not "Carter who?";
it's "Carter where?"!

Well, make up
your bleeding mind.

Who do you want:

Carter who
or Carter where?

What difference
does it make,

"Carter who,"
"Carter where"?

Where's Carter?

You got to do something

about your English, Schultz;
it's terrible.

Carter, where are you?

Yo! Who
wants me?

That's
"Carter who"!

This is not your place!

You get a guy up
in the middle of the night

and you expect him
to be on the ball?

Now, get back
to your place!

You understand?
Schnell!

Okay, schnell.

Who cares where you are,
as long as you're here?

( all shouting )

SCHULTZ:
Quiet! This is roll call!

Report!

SCHULTZ:
Attention!

What kind
of POW camp

are you
running?

( prisoners grumbling )

NEWKIRK:
You ought to be ashamed of yourself doing this.

Herr Kommandant,
all present and accounted for!

Very good,
Sergeant.

Is he sure?

Are you sure?

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir.

All right.

All right!

I suggest
nightly roll calls

until we find the saboteurs.

Nightly
roll calls?

Is that
necessary?

Essential!

Very good
idea, Major.

Attention!

From now on, there will
be nightly roll calls

until further notice!

( prisoners grumble )

Dismissed.

( grumbling continues )

LeBEAU:
Boy, I'm glad he made it in time.

Ooh, it's cold.

CARTER:
And then, then he made me acting corporal!

Now, can you
beat that?

Boy, that is
pretty crazy.

But you got
away with it.

Yes, sir.

Boy, but talk
about being scared.

My guts were
turning over.

Yeah,
there's a nice mental picture.

Oui,
very medical.

Here, have
some coffee.

No, thanks, Louis.

Carter, they got the dynamite?

Yes, sir.

And the detonator box.

And they obviously got in touch
with the Gestapo,

otherwise Hochstetter
wouldn't be here.

Well, I'm glad
it's over.

If you guys don't mind,
I'm going to turn in.

I can still feel
the whole thing right in there.

I'm sorry you said
that, Carter--

about turning in, I mean.

What?

Well, I thought
you might say,

"Sorry, fellas, I've got
to get back to Company C,

Fourth Panzer Brigade."

You'd have
a long wait, sir.

( chuckles )

Holy cow, you mean
go back there?

Andrew, they got
the dynamite; we need it.

We can't get any more.

Our orders are
to blow up that bridge.

It's just sitting there.

Well, who cares?

Let it sit!

Can't we leave
a few bridges in Germany alone?

You bluffed them
once, didn't you?

Well, he had
a nice set of papers.

Yeah, signed by you,
Major Newkirkheim.

Very convincing.

Battle of France,
the Eastern Front.

Boy, my guts are spinning around

at just the thought
of going back there.

Carter, you made
acting corporal, didn't you?

Well, yes.

You'll throw all that away?

Like a shot.

Here.

Here's the uniform.

There's a beer stain
on the front.

I'll pay for the dry cleaning.

Carter the Kraut says
good night.

HOGAN:
Andrew.

Listen...
it's the dream

of every
intelligence outfit

to plant a man with
the enemy's army.

You're that man.

It's a first.

It's a great
opportunity, Andrew.

Listen, mate,
the colonel's asking you.

That's the same as an order.

You could be
court-martialed if you refuse.

Sure, I could be
court-martialed and shot in two armies.

That's another first.

Carter, all you
have to do is

put on the uniform,
go back there and report.

Right, and be back here in time
for tomorrow night's roll call.

Nothing to it.

Bigmouth.

Well, that's
another thing.

I forgot--
the new roll call.

What? Do you want me
to commute?

I'm going
to need a bicycle, for Pete's sakes!

Look, you
go there

and get
the dynamite.

I'll talk Klink
out of the special roll calls.

That
sounds like a fair deal.

Who are you guys
trying to kid?

Listen, before I'm
going to go back there,

I'm going to quit
this outfit.

I'll quit
the German army.

I'll quit the war!

Quit the war?

You're darn tootin'!

Carter...

who's going to break
the news to Roosevelt and Churchill?

Personally, I think
the nightly roll calls are a good idea.

I am so glad
you approve.

It gives me a nice,
warm feeling inside.

Why do you like
night roll calls?

I know how impossible
it is to escape from Stalag 13.

I was hoping it would keep
the men in line.

Mm-hmm.
And it hasn't?

Just the opposite--
the escape committee has submitted two plans

in just the last
12 hours. Plans?

Yeah, one prisoner wants
to use the roll calls

to escape disguised as you.

( laughing )

( chuckling ):
As Colonel Klink?

That is you.

Imitate me?

Hard to believe.

Yes, you are.

I hope you told him.

Yes, I said
you were impossible.

I'm so glad.

Yep.

Uh, you know, frankly,
I... I think

you should discontinue
the roll calls, sir.

Can't be done!

Saboteurs tried to destroy
a very important bridge.

You're kidding.

Major Hochstetter's determined
to find them.

He's ordered special security
for all the stalags.

He's ordered?

He's only a major.

You're a colonel.

Hogan, you don't understand
the Gestapo, do you?

No, I don't.

Neither do I.

I just do
as they demand.

Request denied.
Dismissed.

Well, don't say
I didn't warn you.

Excuse me, Herr Kommandant.

The supply sergeant just called.

Schultz and Major Hochstetter
have left the ammunition bunker.

Danke, Fräulein Hilda.

Bitte.

Aah, that Hochstetter,
he's everywhere.

Right now he's checking
our supply of dynamite

to see if anything is missing.

Covers all the bases,
doesn't he?

Yes, and I'd like
to booby-trap one of those bases.

That's naughty.

Acting Corporal
Hans Wagner, I believe.

I hitched a ride.

You've got a lot
of the kamikaze in you.

Colonel, I had
to see you.

I can't find the dynamite;
now, talk fast.

Gestapo been around?

Maybe they found it.

Negative--
they talk about it

like it's still there.

Then keep looking.

Please, Colonel,
can't I come home?

You're doing fine,
except for this crazy move.

I'm warning you,
there'll be another first.

I'll go AWOL from two armies
at the same time.

Easy, easy.

We'll see you tonight.

Yeah.
Tonight?!

I couldn't talk Klink
out of a roll call-- I'm sorry.

Well, that
takes the cake.

What if I can't
get out?

We'll start without you.

But, Colonel, listen,
I-I-I don't think...

Watch it,
here they come.

( with German accent ):
How dare you say a thing like that about our Führer?!

I don't care
if you are an officer,

you are still a visitor
in Deutschland!

If you ever say a thing
like that again,

I will shoot you
in person!

And remember,
I have warned you!

Heil Hitler!

Heil! Heil!
Heil Hitler!

Where does the Wehrmacht
get men like that, huh?

I'd hate
to tell you.

Raus, raus,
raus, raus.

This is becoming a bore.

I don't like it
either.

Come on, let's go,
let's go.

NEWKIRK:
I'm going to miss this, Schultzy.

( men grumbling )

( men shivering )

( sighs )

I had to look
all over the place, but I finally found it.

They're keeping
the dynamite in the orderly room.

Good, we're
in business.

You're in business;
I'm in the German army.

When do we move
out, Colonel?

We've got to work
at night.

What do we do
about those bloody roll calls?

That's a problem.

Well, I got
a bigger problem.

A lot of the Krauts
are being shipped out next week.

I could
be next.

Shipped out? Where?

They issued these.

Earmuffs?

I don't think we're
planning to attack Miami.

"We"?

You know, the guys,
the German army.

Andrew, you
haven't gone Nazi, have you?

Oh, knock it
off, please.

Now,
come on.

Hold it, hold it.

I just happened
to think.

Hochstetter could be
the answer

to our problem
about the roll calls.

Hochstetter?

Yeah, if we get him
out of here,

Klink might ease up.

It's worth a try.

Come here, Carter.

I want you to get the dynamite
and meet us here.

See where the road forks
right by the turn?

Tomorrow night, 11:00.

Okay, I'll try.

Hey, I got
to get back.

Hey, what's
the rush?

Yeah, the Germans having
a night roll call, too?

No, they're showing
a captured Betty Grable picture

and I don't want to miss it.

You Nazis really
know how to live.

( with German accent ):
Hello.

Major Hochstetter?

Ja, this is
Oberführer Schlichter,

Düsseldorf headquarters.

Ja, Heil Hitler.

Major, we have captured
two underground people.

We believe they have
some connection

mit the assault
on the Millheim bridge.

Ja, ja, that's correct.

We need your assistance, Major.

Do you think you
can come here tomorrow?

Ja.

Danke, Herr Major.

We will expect you.

Ja, Heil Hitler.

Good riddance!

Ah, Hochstetter's not
such a bad guy, sir.

There's one thing nice
about his being here.

It feels so good
when he leaves.

Ah, you're just prejudiced.

Hochstetter ordered
night roll calls

and you're stuck
with them.

Hogan, I am still

the commandant here.

Oh, I know that,

but you've got to admit, there's
a man who understands security.

Understands security?

There has never been
a successful escape

from Stalag 13,
even without night roll calls.

That's not important.

If Hochstetter insists
on roll calls, what can you do?

What can I do?

The roll call will be canceled
effective immediately.

Better think it over,
Commandant.

Hogan, I do not need
your advice.

You do as you're told.

Dismissed!

( vehicle rumbling )

Wait, hold it,
hold it.

( rumbling approaching )

Tank coming, take cover.

Get in!

Hey, guys!

Carter!

What's the idea?

Well, I had
to carry the dynamite in something.

Brilliant.

NEWKIRK:
Oh, marvelous.

Why didn't
you steal a convertible?

All right,
get in.

Hey, does this work?

Yeah, and we're
going to need it.

I couldn't find
the detonator box.

All right,
Millheim bridge, driver,

and don't spare the horses.

Yes, sir.

( tank engine starts )

He went for it.

They're moving out.

Boy, you could sell used cars
anytime you want to.

Nice way to talk
to an officer.

Lieutenant,
take over.

Jawohl, Herr Kapitän.

Heil Hitler.

All right, dismount
and wait till they're gone.

( truck engine starts )

All right, fellas,
let's go.

Come on.

Finished, sir.

CARTER:
Charges all wired.

All we got to do is hit one
and they all go off.

All right,
perfect.

Let's get
out of here.

Careful.

Let's go.

LeBEAU:
Hey, wait for me!

Coming.

( tank engine rumbling )

All right,
try for the middle support--

it's the biggest target.

CARTER:
Steady.

Got it.

All right, load it.

Ready?

Ready.

All right, fire.

( gun fires )

( explosion )

Low and outside for a ball.

Try it two degrees left, huh?

Right.

Fire!
( gun fires )

( explosion )

( sighs ):
You're getting warm.

Two more degrees to the left...
and raise the angle.

Ready?

Fire.
( gun fires )

( explosion )

( men cheering )

Beautiful--
on target.

Nice shooting,
Acting Corporal Hans Wagner.

You get all the credit.

Aw, thanks, Colonel.

But there's one thing
I'm kind of sorry about.

What's that?

I had to miss

that Betty Grable
picture tonight.

KINCH:
Aw, that's too bad.

NEWKIRK:
That's a shame.

LeBEAU:
That's very sad-- oh.

Oh, marvelous.

Thank you for calling,
Lieutenant.

Heil Hitler.

That was a friend of mine
at headquarters.

The Millheim bridge was
destroyed by saboteurs

last night.

Hmm.

Whoever they are,
they got guts.

Oh, they're gutsy!

And my dear friend Major
Hochstetter was in Düsseldorf

on some unimportant business.

He was recalled to Berlin
for discipline.

( chuckling ):
Let's hope it was nothing trivial.

Let's hope so.

Who asked you?

What do you want here, Schultz?

Herr Kommandant,
the men in Barracks Nine

would like to have
some more hot water.

What did you tell them?

Oh, I gave them
a definite "maybe."

Of course.

( slaps hand on desk )

When will you learn
to be tough with these men?

Now, you go back there
and give them a definite no.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Sickening.

Yeah, he's got a heart
of pure margarine.

Yes, I know.

Hogan, do you remember

that tough young corporal
who told you off?

Yeah.

What about him?

I tried to locate him.

I thought maybe
he would consider

going into the Luftwaffe.

Any luck?

You'll never
believe this.

They told me
that he deserted.

A man like that.

Hmm-- you just
never know, do you?

No, sometimes it's
better that way.

Ja.

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