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1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:05,589
( theme song playing )
2
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,301
Now, this area
here, Hogan,
3
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:54,179
we want it cleared
of trees and brush.
4
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,472
You want us to do it?
5
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,807
Oh, Berlin will pay.
6
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,642
Ten pfennigs an hour
per man.
7
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:01,144
Which means they've
authorized 25 pfennigs an hour.
8
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,438
You give us ten;
keep 15 to yourself.
9
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,856
Hogan, I resent that.
10
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,066
Where do you
get such ideas?
11
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,150
Mainly from you.
12
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,777
HELGA:
Excuse, Herr Kommandant.
13
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,362
A Captain Bohrmann
is here to see you.
14
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,072
Bohrmann? I don't know
any Captain Bohrmann.
15
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,407
I'm busy.
Send him away.
16
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,324
Gestapo.
17
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,201
Well, don't just
let the man sit out there.
18
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,121
The commandant may be
able to squeeze him in.
19
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,622
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
20
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,750
We'll discuss our business
later. Dismissed.
21
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,923
I hate a sloppy war.
22
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,849
Colonel Klink, Heil Hitler.
23
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,225
Heil Hitler.
24
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,394
Uh, please, Captain,
sit down, sit down.
25
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,772
( chuckles ):
What can I do for you?
26
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,358
I have been assigned
to Gestapo Headquarters in Dusseldorf.
27
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,776
Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,279
But I am living
in Hamilburg at the moment,
29
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,115
Houselhof Hotel,
room 209.
30
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,492
Very interesting.
31
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,327
But is it important?
32
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,454
BOHRMANN:
Very.
33
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:01,663
What's this
captain's game?
34
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,540
Keep quiet,
maybe we'll find out.
35
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,417
KLINK:
Of course I remember
36
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,335
the plot
to assassinate the Führer.
37
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,463
Could any loyal German
ever forget it?
38
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,299
I don't think you will.
39
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,594
The conspirators are
still being rounded up.
40
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,513
A very important man
was recently arrested.
41
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,642
I searched his house,
found this picture
42
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,436
and the negative.
43
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,146
Mm-hmm.
44
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,734
No, it's not possible.
45
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,903
Klink sounds like
he swallowed his monocle.
46
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,362
Must be some picture.
47
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,489
Klink and a woman, maybe?
48
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,116
Impossible. Klink's
in love with Klink.
49
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,993
He wouldn't let anyone
come between himself.
50
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,245
General Molendorf.
51
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,247
That's his arm
around your shoulders.
52
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,208
Yes, we were friends.
53
00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:49,628
Close friends and very possibly
associated in the plot
54
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,088
to assassinate the Führer.
55
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,507
Hardly knew the man.
56
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,383
We went to school together
for ten years,
57
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,677
saw each other every day,
but what's that?
58
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,263
You were also best man
at his wedding.
59
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,350
Oh, well, I had nothing else
to do that afternoon.
60
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,520
Colonel, I have a problem.
61
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:11,274
If I turn this picture in
to Gestapo Headquarters,
62
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:14,819
an innocent man
may be executed.
63
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,654
Innocent?
64
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,364
You.
65
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,324
( chuckles ):
Me? I'm not innocent.
66
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,785
I mean, I am innocent.
What have I done?
67
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:28,708
If I destroy the negative
or give it to you,
68
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:33,546
I won't exactly be
doing my duty, will I?
69
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:37,300
No, you do have
a problem.
70
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,803
Klink's beautiful,
isn't he?
71
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,554
Little Alice
in Krautland.
72
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,515
How stupid
can one man be?
73
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,975
Keep listening,
he'll tell you.
74
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,310
And you expect me
to pay your hotel bill?
75
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:51,022
In addition to, say,
1,000 marks right now,
76
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,233
while I consider
the problem.
77
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,902
Couldn't you consider
the problem a little less expensively?
78
00:03:55,944 --> 00:04:00,031
The life of an innocent
commandant is at stake.
79
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,117
Oh.
80
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,911
I'll get the money
out of the safe.
81
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,583
That's blackmail.
82
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,711
Bohrmann will take Klink
for every penny he's got
83
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,963
and then have him executed
anyway to cover up.
84
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,339
That's nice.
Yeah, lovely.
85
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,801
Au revoir, Monsieur Klink,
and I mean au revoir.
86
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,678
If the Gestapo
takes him away, we're next.
87
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,346
His enemy
is our enemy.
88
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:24,597
Well, why'd you
want to save
89
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,182
a bloody fool
like Klink?
90
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,268
I don't want to,
but let's face it,
91
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,311
bloody fools
don't grow on trees.
92
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,493
SCHULTZ:
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
93
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,245
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
94
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,998
Detail, halt!
95
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,877
Left face!
96
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,671
( exasperatedgrunt )
97
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,339
Roll call!
98
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,426
When I call your
name, answer!
99
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,719
Look alive!
100
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,012
Who's alive?
101
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,305
Quiet!
102
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,724
SHULTZ:
I said, look alive, do you understand?!
103
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,809
HOGAN:
Get it over with, Schultz.
104
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,312
Achtung!
The commandant.
105
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,023
Commandant,
hold it a minute.
106
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,025
Hogan, what is it?
I'm in a hurry.
107
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,818
The work's coming along
beautifully, sir.
108
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,028
Yeah, beautifully, sir.
109
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,571
Excellent, excellent.
Carry on.
110
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,406
It's a real picnic
slaving away
111
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,741
out there
in the cold.
112
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,075
Ja, it's a real picnic.
113
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,952
It is?
Especially without pay.
114
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,663
We've been at it
almost a week now-- when do we get paid?
115
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,625
Hogan, is that all
you can think about? Money?
116
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,126
Only when I don't have it.
117
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,587
You'll get paid when the
paymaster arrives from Berlin.
118
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,922
Now keep up the good work.
119
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,131
Driver, go on.
120
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,641
As soon as the
paymaster arrives?
121
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,643
You heard what
our fearless leader said.
122
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,604
But the paymaster arrived
the night before last.
123
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,730
Are you sure?
124
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,815
I opened the gate
for him myself.
125
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,692
How's that news bulletin, folks?
126
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,027
SHULTZ:
Colonel Hogan,
127
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,613
is there some
monkey business going on?
128
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,116
Next time you see a monkey
wearing a monocle, ask him.
129
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,622
He's tapping the till,
that's what he's doing.
130
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,666
Bohrmann must have
put the bite on Klink again.
131
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,793
And he's using
our wages to pay off.
132
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,087
And we go out every
day and work like the fools we are.
133
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,548
Well, not me--
tomorrow I go on strike.
134
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,509
That's all you Frenchmen
ever do, go on strike.
135
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,135
And make love.
136
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,805
Yeah, you never hear them
striking about that, do you?
137
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,515
Jealousy will
get you nowhere.
138
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,808
All right, knock it off.
139
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,101
We took the job Klink offered
140
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,936
so we could get outside
the fence every day
141
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:35,979
so we could operate.
142
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,480
That's not going
to last, Colonel.
143
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,815
They're going
to catch Klink
144
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,733
with his hand in the cash
register and chop it off.
145
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,026
Yeah, and his head, too.
146
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,736
We've got to do something
about that picture
147
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,862
to take the heat
off Klink.
148
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,240
Us get the picture? How?
149
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,242
Go into town
and ask Bohrmann.
150
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,326
Nothing to it.
151
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,120
Yeah, that's exactly
what I had in mind.
152
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,038
Kinch, do you have
the floor plan
153
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,665
to the Houselhorf Hotel
in the file?
154
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,209
I think so. Let's see.
155
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,922
Houselhorf... right here.
156
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,465
Thanks.
157
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,801
Now, Bohrmann said he was
in room 209, second floor.
158
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,261
That's right here.
159
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,305
Do you think he'd still
have the negative on him?
160
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,140
Probably.
We'll just have to risk it.
161
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,850
Now, if we could get
the room next to Bohrmann,
162
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:15,059
we might have a chance.
163
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,436
It doesn't look
good, Colonel.
164
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:17,645
We've got no choice.
165
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,772
We move out tomorrow night.
166
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,358
If you ask me, sir,
I think it's a bit chancy.
167
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,193
Newkirk, nobody asked you.
168
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,154
Would you rather
have a brand-new Kraut
169
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,573
running this
little old Stalag?
170
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,276
( distant car horns honking )
171
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,028
( German accent ):
Not just any room.
172
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,197
I said number 210!
173
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,741
Impossible. There
is a reservation.
174
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,369
This is Oberführer
Hoganheimer. Gestapo!
175
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:18,289
We have oberführers here
all the time, nothing new.
176
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,917
He's not just
an ordinary oberführer,
177
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:23,628
he's really
ober da oberführers.
178
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,921
I know.
179
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:28,132
He's the oberest
oberführer of them all.
180
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,844
Now, give me the key
to 210, please!
181
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,638
It cannot be done. I'm sorry.
182
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,556
Just a minute, Unterführer.
183
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,684
You see, I'm the unterführer,
he's the oberführer.
184
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,936
Please, don't do that again.
185
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,229
I'll handle this.
186
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,105
Jawohl,
Oberfuhrer Hoganheimer.
187
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:47,360
Yes, we are most anxious
to have room 210.
188
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:56,786
Eh... perhaps if I juggle it
around a bit, I can, uh...
189
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,538
Juggle away,
gnadige frau.
190
00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,164
Please.
191
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:04,752
Ja, Herr Oberfuhrer,
you may have room 210.
192
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:09,298
Ah, one of your officers,
Captain Bohrmann, is in 209.
193
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,801
Don't tell him we're here.
194
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,219
We'd like to surprise him.
195
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,720
I understand, sir.
196
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,766
This way, please.
197
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,309
Marvelous, Oberführer.
198
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,269
Excellent.
199
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,129
Good night, gentlemen.
200
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,672
Good night.
Good night.
201
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,965
Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.
202
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,259
Heil Hitler.
203
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,844
Her and her bloody
Heil Hitlers.
204
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,387
Shh.
205
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,180
I'm sorry.
Shh.
206
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,850
( whispering ):
I'm sorry.
207
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,685
( mockingly ):
Heil Hitler.
208
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,690
( whispering ):
Newkirk.
209
00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,198
Open it.
210
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,492
( loudly ):
Well, why didn't you... Shh.
211
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,703
( whispering ):
I'm sorry.
212
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,255
( door creaking )
213
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,969
( snapping )
214
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,721
I'm sorry.
215
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,579
( mouthing words )
216
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,939
Fire! Fire!
Fire in the hall!
217
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,649
Fire!
218
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,150
There's fire!
219
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,485
( woman screams )
220
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,820
Fire!
221
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,280
Fire! Right down there,
there's fire!
222
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,116
( woman screams )
223
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,619
Fire! Fire!
224
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,162
Fire!
225
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,165
There's fire everywhere!
226
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,503
Fire in the halls! Fire!
227
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,004
( coughs ):
Fire!
228
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,840
Okay, sir, did it work?
229
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,049
He only took
the leather box.
230
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,551
The negative has got
to be in there.
231
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,177
Get rid of that,
will you? ( coughs )
232
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,762
And fast!
233
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:08,185
I got a feeling
we're just never gonna win this war.
234
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,812
( coughing )
Oh, God.
235
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,772
Come on.
236
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,571
Yes, yes, Schultz, I'm aware
237
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,489
you're only getting
half your pay.
238
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,949
What happened, Herr Kommandant?
239
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,202
I told you, the paymaster
didn't bring us enough money.
240
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,830
Is there anything
wrong in Berlin?
241
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,958
Oh, Herr Kommandant, if it's
a secret, you can tell me.
242
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,377
I won't tell a word to anybody.
243
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,838
There is nothing
wrong in Berlin...
244
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,673
more than usual.
245
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,842
Oh, Herr Kommandant.
246
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,511
My pay is nothing to start with.
247
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:46,890
If you cut it in half,
I get half of nothing.
248
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:50,269
Schultz, is money
all that concerns you?
249
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,895
Don't you ever think
of the experience
250
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,272
you're getting in the service?
251
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,150
Herr Kommandant, couldn't I
get experience on full pay?
252
00:12:56,191 --> 00:12:59,069
Doesn't it mean anything
to you to serve the Führer?
253
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,280
Is the Führer
on half pay?
254
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,866
Don't you have any
love for your fatherland?
255
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,743
Oh, I do, Herr
Kommandant. I do,
256
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:08,996
but couldn't I have
love and money?
257
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,915
Now, Schultz, your
service record is very good.
258
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,792
Don't spoil it
by complaining.
259
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:17,254
There may even
be a promotion.
260
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:21,800
If this war continues,
someday all this may be yours.
261
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,302
Who needs it?
Oh, I mean,
262
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,055
Herr Kommandant, I'm very
happy being a sergeant.
263
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,104
Colonel Hogan, what shall I do?
264
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,231
Sue the Luftwaffe
for my pay?
265
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,233
You can accept
what they give you, Schultz,
266
00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:39,735
or sue them and wait
for the rest
267
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,778
at the Russian Front.
268
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,029
But it's not fair.
269
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,655
I'm a sergeant of the guard.
270
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,115
Every day I risk my life
271
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,076
guarding you
dangerous prisoners.
272
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,328
Shultz, take
the half pay and forget it.
273
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,580
War's not only rotten,
it's expensive.
274
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,082
Why should I
pay the bill?
275
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,044
Uh... I got an idea.
276
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089
Maybe the prisoners
277
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,757
could take up
a collection for you.
278
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,092
Oh, I couldn't
take money
279
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,093
from the prisoners.
280
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,427
I was just
trying to help.
281
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,429
Oh, boy, am I
in trouble.
282
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:10,015
When I send my wife
only half the money
283
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,767
she usually
gets-- oh, boy!
284
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,769
Straighten it out
when you go home on leave.
285
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,937
She'll straighten me out.
286
00:14:14,978 --> 00:14:16,188
Then don't go home.
287
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,398
She'll come and get me.
288
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:20,609
Uh... Colonel Hogan,
289
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:24,446
I can't take money from
the prisoners, but, uh...
290
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:27,282
maybe a little
loan from you.
291
00:14:27,282 --> 00:14:30,911
How much interest
would you charge me?
292
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,579
Charge a friend interest?
293
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,123
That's insulting, Schultz.
294
00:14:34,289 --> 00:14:35,290
Oh, excuse me.
295
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,127
I'm sorry.
296
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,504
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
297
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,465
thank you, you
saved my life!
298
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,717
And you ask nothing for it.
299
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:46,969
Nothing. However...
300
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,137
However.
301
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:51,140
Uh... ( whispers )
302
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,432
Impossible.
303
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,434
Impossible, huh?
304
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,104
Impossible, but
we try it anyway.
305
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:57,813
Tomorrow?
306
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:58,897
Yeah.
307
00:14:59,148 --> 00:14:59,857
Good boy.
308
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,150
Danke.
309
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,738
We make our move tomorrow
during the work detail.
310
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,282
That is fabulous.
Marvelous, marvelous.
311
00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:09,783
How'd you manage
that, Colonel?
312
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:10,742
I told Schultz
we wanted
313
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,160
to work the farms
around the camp
314
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,161
for some extra food.
315
00:15:13,161 --> 00:15:14,621
As soon as we get
outside the wire,
316
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,206
we'll disappear
for a couple of hours.
317
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,542
Then sneak into town and
snatch the ol' negative, eh?
318
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,252
Certainment. Day
is the best time
319
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,712
to steal it--
when he's gone.
320
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,714
He's small, but all brains.
321
00:15:23,755 --> 00:15:24,715
What are we
going to do
322
00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:25,966
about civilian
clothes, sir?
323
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,175
Wear them under
our uniforms.
324
00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,176
We'll ditch this stuff
325
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,512
as soon as we
get rid of Schultz.
326
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,763
Colonel Hogan.
327
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,181
Colonel Hogan.
328
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:36,518
I was thinking.
329
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,353
You know that's bad
for you, Schultz.
330
00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:39,146
It makes you hungry.
331
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,941
I can't do what you
asked me to do.
332
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:45,110
I'd rather pay interest.
333
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,361
A deal's a deal, Schultz.
334
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,446
And a wife is a wife.
335
00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:49,364
You didn't have
to marry her, you know.
336
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:50,699
Now he gives me advice.
337
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,659
Where were you
when I needed you?
338
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,872
...achtzehn,neunzehn, zwanzig.
339
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,290
All present.
340
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,626
Detail!
341
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:01,585
Left face!
342
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,756
Forward march!
343
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:07,758
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
344
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:09,259
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
345
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,719
Eins...
Schultz, please.
346
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,928
You're confusing the men.
347
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:12,929
You're out of step.
348
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,681
...zwei, drei, vier.
349
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,642
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
350
00:16:16,683 --> 00:16:18,226
Eins, zwei,drei, vier. Halt!
351
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,895
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
352
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,022
Just a minute! I said halt.
353
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,106
Halt!
354
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:26,443
We were just going out
to work, Commandant.
355
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,444
You're not going.
356
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,654
Schultz, dismiss the men.
357
00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:29,696
I have decided
to cancel
358
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:30,739
the project.
I thought we
359
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,074
were doing
fine, sir. You were.
360
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,075
Was it
something I said?
361
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:34,242
The money for
their pay
362
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:35,577
has not come
from Berlin.
363
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:36,787
Well, that's
all right.
364
00:16:36,828 --> 00:16:39,581
Maybe we can work out
time payments. Time payments?
365
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:41,249
Sure. Hitler's good
for the money.
366
00:16:41,249 --> 00:16:42,417
Absolutely!
367
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:44,127
You stay out of this.
368
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,797
He can always cash in France
if he has to.
369
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,382
You mean you would
work on credit?
370
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:50,050
Of course. Right, men?
371
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,051
Yes.
Yay!
372
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,094
You bet we would.
373
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,054
After all, it's
our stalag, too.
374
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,097
And we love it!
375
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,391
We're enemies, and we
hate each other, sir,
376
00:16:57,432 --> 00:16:58,350
but we live here.
377
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,268
For us, it's...
378
00:17:00,268 --> 00:17:02,062
well, RFD Germany.
379
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,939
( cheering )
380
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:05,399
Hogan,
381
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,609
I'm deeply touched.
382
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:08,735
So am I.
383
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:09,903
But...
384
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,531
I cannot have my prisoners
work on credit
385
00:17:12,572 --> 00:17:14,324
when I've promised
to pay them.
386
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:15,450
Gentlemen,
387
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:18,286
I thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
388
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,372
Hooray!
389
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,750
Tell you what, Commandant,
we'll finish the job,
390
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,751
you can forget the money.
391
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,253
You mean you would
work for nothing?
392
00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:27,838
Yeah, we want
to beautify this place.
393
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:28,880
Want it
to look nice when
394
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,590
General Patton's tanks
come rolling in.
395
00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,217
Request denied.
Schultz, dismiss the men.
396
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:33,301
But, Commandant...
397
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,302
The work will resume
398
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,138
when the financial
situation is cleared up.
399
00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:37,764
Dismissed.
400
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,434
Work detail, dismissed!
401
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:44,771
There goes the plan.
402
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,189
Yeah, looks like
that Bohrmann
403
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,983
is really putting
the bite on Klink.
404
00:17:48,024 --> 00:17:49,067
Yeah, all
the more reason
405
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,527
to get him off
the hook, and fast.
406
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,529
All right, we go out
tonight anyway.
407
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,989
We go through
the emergency tunnel.
408
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:55,949
Steal the negative
with Bohrmann in his room?
409
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,159
Suppose
he wakes up, Colonel?
410
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,660
Put him
to sleep again.
411
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,162
Oh. I just thought
I'd ask.
412
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:01,830
It sounds logical,
though.
413
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:02,998
I'll need
another man.
414
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:04,666
LeBeau, you want
to volunteer?
415
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,210
Can I have some time to
think about it, Colonel?
416
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,837
I accept your offer.
417
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,798
Doesn't take me
long to decide.
418
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,719
Abend, gentlemen.
419
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,928
Heil Hitler.
420
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,597
Abend.
Key 210, please.
421
00:18:20,473 --> 00:18:22,058
And please see
if we have any mail.
422
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:30,066
There are no letters
for you. I'm sorry.
423
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,067
Danke.
424
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,444
Danke, gnadige frau.
425
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,534
Not exactly Claridge's,
but we like it.
426
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,869
Shh.
427
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:41,912
Sorry.
428
00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:09,731
( water running )
429
00:19:13,276 --> 00:19:14,069
( tap shuts off )
430
00:19:17,113 --> 00:19:18,531
( sighs )
431
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,422
We'll wait till
he's asleep.
432
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,293
( whispering )
433
00:20:14,295 --> 00:20:15,296
Hmm?
434
00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:21,761
It started with me.
435
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:22,804
Oh, I'm sorry.
436
00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:36,443
Just a touch
of realism, sir.
437
00:20:36,484 --> 00:20:37,318
Let's go.
438
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:51,708
Let's have one more little
old drink of schnapps!
439
00:20:51,749 --> 00:20:55,378
Nein, the schnapps
is all shnapped out.
440
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,214
I must have
more schnapps!
441
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:03,219
NEWKIRK:
And I say you can't have more schnapps!
442
00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:05,972
You want to fight?
443
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,766
I want to settle it
the only way.
444
00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:11,728
Stop the noise or I'll
settle the two of you.
445
00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:13,396
Who are you,
mein herr?
446
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,440
I am trying to sleep.
447
00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:17,358
LeBEAU ( laughing ):
That's so funny...
448
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,526
( laughing )
449
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:22,405
What have you got
against my old friend?
450
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:23,907
Take your hands off me.
451
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:25,241
BOHRMANN:
Captain, go to heck.
452
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,702
NEWKIRK:
No, no, no, you can't talk
453
00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,287
to my friend
that way.
454
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:33,291
BOHRMANN:
Will you take your hands off me?
455
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,876
I will have
the two of you
456
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,002
thrown in jail.
457
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,378
LeBEAU:
Good. Good idea.
458
00:21:37,378 --> 00:21:39,172
BOHRMANN:
It's not much trouble.
459
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,174
NEWKIRK:
What are you going to do about it?
460
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,217
BOHRMANN:
About what?
461
00:21:42,258 --> 00:21:43,218
NEWKIRK:
Anything.
462
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:44,719
Yeah, good.
463
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,471
NEWKIRK:
Now, do you really think...?
464
00:21:46,512 --> 00:21:48,264
Get your hands
off me!
465
00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:52,060
We're terribly...
terribly sorry.
466
00:21:52,101 --> 00:21:54,896
We had a little
too much schnapps.
467
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:56,731
BOHRMANN:
I should say you have.
468
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,441
LeBEAU:
We owe you an apology, sir.
469
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:00,318
Just get out of here.
470
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,779
( drunken slurring )
471
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:04,322
Good night and
pleasant dreams, sir.
472
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:05,448
Can I have a...?
473
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,449
Quiet down.
Shh-shh.
474
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,408
Heil Hitler.
475
00:22:07,450 --> 00:22:08,451
Heil Hitler.
476
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:09,369
No more noise.
477
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:10,411
Shh!
Shh!
478
00:22:10,453 --> 00:22:11,454
Heil Hitler.
479
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,914
Heil Hitler.
480
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,582
I got it.
481
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:15,750
Great.
Let's celebrate.
482
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:16,751
Can we stop
at the hofbrau?
483
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:17,752
Too risky.
Back to camp.
484
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:18,753
Oh, come on, Colonel.
485
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:19,754
One bottle of wine.
486
00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:20,755
Don't argue.
487
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,298
Right. Remember,
I'm an oberführer.
488
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,508
Right. He's the oberführer,
489
00:22:23,549 --> 00:22:24,509
I'm an unterführer.
490
00:22:24,550 --> 00:22:26,594
That also makes you
an unterführer. Got it?
491
00:22:26,594 --> 00:22:27,929
Crystal clear.
492
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:29,138
Good, then
explain it to me
493
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:30,098
on the way back to camp.
494
00:22:32,558 --> 00:22:33,559
( knock at door )
495
00:22:33,601 --> 00:22:34,811
Come in, come in!
496
00:22:34,852 --> 00:22:36,270
You sent for
me, Commandant?
497
00:22:36,312 --> 00:22:37,271
Yes, Hogan.
498
00:22:37,313 --> 00:22:38,898
I have been thinking
about your offer
499
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,692
to do the cleanup work
outside the fence.
500
00:22:40,733 --> 00:22:42,151
I've been thinking
about it, too.
501
00:22:42,193 --> 00:22:43,152
Good, good, good.
Yeah.
502
00:22:43,194 --> 00:22:44,445
We want 25
pfennigs an hour,
503
00:22:44,445 --> 00:22:46,280
not the ten you
were going to give us.
504
00:22:46,322 --> 00:22:48,658
What? You said you would
do it for nothing.
505
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,660
The offer was
for a limited time only.
506
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,953
It expired at midnight.
507
00:22:51,994 --> 00:22:53,496
You'd kick a man when he's down.
508
00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:54,622
Kick you, sir?
509
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,499
Berlin expects
this job to be done.
510
00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:57,709
They're sending an inspector,
511
00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:00,128
and I simply do not have
the money to pay for all this.
512
00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:02,004
You're in a tough
spot, sir.
513
00:23:02,046 --> 00:23:05,007
I never thought I would
beg you for anything.
514
00:23:05,049 --> 00:23:07,009
What's this?
515
00:23:07,051 --> 00:23:08,428
Looks like a negative.
516
00:23:08,469 --> 00:23:11,305
Yeah, I'm positive
it's a negative.
517
00:23:11,347 --> 00:23:13,933
"Merry Christmas from a friend."
518
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,685
A little early,
but it's a nice thought.
519
00:23:17,019 --> 00:23:18,479
Hogan.
520
00:23:18,521 --> 00:23:20,815
Do you know what
this means? Do you?
521
00:23:20,815 --> 00:23:22,775
I don't need your help.
522
00:23:22,817 --> 00:23:25,278
Ten pfennigs an hour,
take it or leave it.
523
00:23:25,319 --> 00:23:26,779
A minute ago you
were a mouse.
524
00:23:26,821 --> 00:23:28,114
What turned you
into a rat?
525
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:29,699
This proves that
I have friends.
526
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,868
People who are willing
to do things for me,
527
00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:33,327
and you are not one of them.
528
00:23:33,369 --> 00:23:35,121
I'd like to be, sir,
I really would.
529
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:38,166
Then try harder,
Hogan. Try.
530
00:23:38,207 --> 00:23:39,375
I will, and
thank you, sir,
531
00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:40,543
for giving me
a second chance.
532
00:23:53,139 --> 00:23:54,348
Are we all in, gents?
533
00:23:54,390 --> 00:23:55,725
( all talking at once )
534
00:23:55,766 --> 00:23:56,726
Come on.
535
00:23:56,767 --> 00:23:58,186
Now, how do you
like that colonel?
536
00:23:58,227 --> 00:23:59,395
He only had a
pair of deuces
537
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:00,938
and he stole the
pot from us again.
538
00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:01,939
And I had
wired kings.
539
00:24:01,981 --> 00:24:03,024
Why didn't you
see me, then?
540
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:04,817
Newkirk, you ought to
play poker with Hitler.
541
00:24:04,859 --> 00:24:06,068
You'd bluff him
out of the war.
542
00:24:06,110 --> 00:24:08,905
Abend, gentlemen.
Heil...
543
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:10,740
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!
544
00:24:10,781 --> 00:24:12,492
No gambling
in the barracks!
545
00:24:12,533 --> 00:24:14,619
Glad you reminded
us, Schultz.
546
00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:16,913
Oh, yeah.
We got to remember that.
547
00:24:16,954 --> 00:24:19,457
That's all I ask,
and keep it in mind.
548
00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:21,876
Colonel Hogan,
I got my back pay,
549
00:24:21,918 --> 00:24:25,129
and I want to give you
the money I owe you.
550
00:24:25,171 --> 00:24:27,798
Ah, didn't I tell you
he's a good credit risk?
551
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,425
Thank you.
Oh, Schultz, as I recall,
552
00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:32,720
you owe me 25 marks
from blackjack last month.
553
00:24:32,762 --> 00:24:34,639
Thank you
very much indeed.
554
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,307
And you promised
me ten marks
555
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:37,767
for a strudel
I made you.
556
00:24:37,808 --> 00:24:38,976
What happened?
557
00:24:39,018 --> 00:24:41,437
Looks like you have
a sudden attack of poverty.
558
00:24:41,479 --> 00:24:43,606
Uh, you want to sit in, Schultz?
559
00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:46,442
Oh, oh, Colonel Hogan,
560
00:24:46,525 --> 00:24:48,569
could you lend
me some money?
561
00:24:48,569 --> 00:24:51,030
I'm sorry, Schultz, you said
no gambling in the barracks.
562
00:24:53,783 --> 00:24:55,034
( mutters )
563
00:24:55,084 --> 00:24:59,634
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