All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s05e06 The Kommandant Dies at Dawn.eng

( theme song playing )

SCHULTZ:
It's going to snow again.

The weather is getting
a little nippy.

Yes, good thing
the mail arrived.

Why? Are you
expecting any warm clothing?

No, I use
the letters

to cover the holes
in my underwear.

I could use a few
letters myself.

Yeah, in your
case, Schultz,

you'd need the
New York Times, Sunday edition.

VENDOR:
Gentlemen.

Gentlemen,
what is your pleasure?

Okay, fellows, time
for an eggplant break.

Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein.

Verboten.

It's against regulation.

But Schultz, if you
don't let him in,

we can't buy
his vegetables.

And if we don't
buy his vegetables,

he doesn't buy from the farmers.

The farmer has no one to sell
to, he stops planting crops.

Without crops, there's no food.

And without food,
the army starves.

HOGAN:
You see, Schultz,

if you don't let him
in the front gate,

you're going to blow
World War II.

All right.

Ah, that's it.

You're a good old boy.

( all praising Schultz )

Hey, you're
a good one.

Here we go.

Come on.

Come on in,
then.

We'll help you.

It's cucumbers,
tomatoes...

( all clamoring )

I'll have
a tomato.

I'll take two tomatoes.

Yes, certainly, yes.

Um...

Cucumbers,
tomatoes...

CARTER:
Oh, I'll have this cucumber.

Carter, that's
a little small.

Here, take
the big one.

I'll take
the little one.

Oh no,
it's fine, sir.

Carter, I think
I'd better have that cucumber.

Oh, no, sir, you
take the big one.

But Carter...

This is fine...

What kind
of crazy cucumb...

I told you I should
have this one.

Some celery...

Production figures
for the Luftwaffe.

Some cucumber.

Get this to the underground
after roll call.

Right, Colonel.

Schultz!

Schultz!

What is going on here?

Herr Kommandant,

we are saving
the German army from starvation.

What?

You see,
Herr Kommandant,

if the prisoners do
not buy from this man,

this man is
not going to buy from the farmers,

the farmers are
not going to do any planting,

and if the farmers
do not do any...

Schultz!

Throw that
peddler out.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

VENDOR:
Ich geh schon, ich geh schon.

SCHULTZ:
Geh schon.

KLINK:
No one goes in and out of here today

without my permission.

Sounds like we're
going to have company.

Is it Two-Ton Herman or
the little sign painter?

Hogan, it is
not the Führer or Marshal Göring.

Don't tell me it's Himmler
with the laughing face.

We are honored tomorrow

by the presence
of Field Marshal Kesselring.

He's coming through here
on his way to Berchtesgaden.

Ah, Major Feldkamp,
very good to see you.

Klink, what are
these prisoners doing

here at the gate?

Oh, they're here
on a work detail.

You see, it's the maid's day off

and we thought with
the field marshal coming...

Are there any other
state secrets

that you think
the prisoners should have?

Major Feldkamp,
I assure you...

Why don't you give
them the plans

of the Normandy
fortification, hmm?

Thanks, anyway, Major,
but we already have those.

Hogan!

Confine these prisoners
to barracks

and double the guards.

Confine these prisoners
to barracks

and double
the guards.

I confine you to the barracks

and I double
the guards.

Raus!

How do I get this
to the underground now?

I suggest you consult
with the chaplain.

I got an idea.

We sneak into
Klink's quarters.

Now, we got
the figures

on the Luftwaffe's
production.

we slip it into
his bathing suit

and we very
carefully

sort of cut
the drawstring.

Then when he goes
for a swim

and he dives
in the water,

the drawstring breaks,
his trunks float away,

and we've got another
underground agent waiting downstream.

You have gone
crackers.

Well, I just
wanted to see

if anybody was
paying attention.

I'm almost
desperate enough

to go with the plan.

I say we slip
the message

into one of
the dog's collars,

round up some fleas,
put them on the dog.

They'll send him
to a veterinarian,

and we have an agent waiting
at the doctor's office.

I think I liked
the bathing suit plan better.

Come back later,
Schultz, we're busy.

Just a moment,
Colonel Hogan.

I'm inviting your men
to a cocktail party.

Is that the bash for
Field Marshal Kesselring?

That's correct.

What time you sending
the car around for us, Schultzy?

Boy, I hope
it's not formal,

because this is
the only outfit I have.

Don't worry
about your outfit.

You are all going
to wear white jackets.

What, the old busboy
routine again?

Well, you can tell
Klink I'm out.

And I'm not going to be
a waiter again either.

And you can get yourself
another bartender.

Oh, come on,
you're going to spoil

Kommandant Klink's
whole evening.

He planned a cocktail party
for Marshal Kesselring

in his quarters,
and then a dinner party

in town at the Hauserhof.

KINCH:
If we don't get to go

to the dinner,
Schultz, forget it.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,
please talk to the men.

Now, wait a minute, fellows.

You shouldn't let
Colonel Klink down.

After all, he's done a lot
of nice things for us.

Yeah, you're right.

I haven't thanked him
yet for my scurvy.

How about you, LeBeau?

Are you going to make those
little hors d'oeuvres, eh?

For the party?

Of course.

Oh, good.

And Klink will serve me
breakfast in bed

on Bastille Day.

LeBeau!

Turnabout's fair play.

Please, Colonel Hogan,
tell them.

All right, Schultz,
but in private.

I hear nothing!

Adolf Hitler wears
clip-on bow ties.

What did you
say, Kinch?

Just testing, Schultz.

This may be a way

to get that paper
to the underground.

But we're not going
to the Hauserhof.

I know,
but Klink is.

We could use him
as the courier.

But Major Feldkamp,
I don't understand you.

Why invite Colonel Hogan
to a cocktail party?

I thought you were afraid
of giving him secrets.

I thought it would be
nice for a change

if we got some
secrets from him.

But we've never
been able to before.

A change of atmosphere,
a few glasses of schnapps

might loosen his tongue.

Very clever--
it's always loosened mine.

Ja.

We have all that
in your bulging dossier.

Well, that's not
what I meant, I...

Just see that
Colonel Hogan is there.

I've sent Sergeant Schultz
with a personal invitation.

Any idea how we
can plant the paper on Klink?

In his belt.

That may be
difficult.

Not if we switch belts.

Carter, you think you can
duplicate Klink's belt?

Oh, I don't have any leather.

I used the last piece I had

to make a carrying case
for my Dear John letters.

No problem, for Newkirk.

Hey, uh, Schultz,
got good news for you.

Huh?

I've got good
news for you.

Oh, they're going
to serve at the party?

That's right.

( all affirming at once )

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

LeBEAU:
What time shall we be there?

What?

What time shall
we be there?

At 6:00.

Yeah, well,
tell Klink to start icing the champagne.

Oh, that's wonderful,
wonderful.

Thank you from the bottom
of Marshal Kesselring's heart.

So long, Schultz.

NEWKIRK:
Ta-dah!

No problem,
Colonel.

Great.

Hey, hey!

Excuse me, did...

did anybody see my belt?

No, I was surprised when you
came in without it, Schultz.

But don't worry, we won't tell
Klink you were out of uniform.

Thank you, Colonel Hogan.

Funny, I could have sworn
I was wearing it when I came in.

Must have lost it,
Schultz.

Hey, just
be grateful

it wasn't holding
up your trousers.

Ta-dah!

( belt pockets fall to floor )

Oh, beautiful.

Thank you,
Herr Kommandant.

Uh, uh, uh, Schultz.

This is for
the brass.

Schultz.

Herr Kommandant,
I came to tell you

that all
security measures

for Marshal Kesselring
have been taken.

What he really
came for

is to swipe
a few of the hors d'oeuvres.

That's not true.

I had a lovely dinner
at the mess hall.

Schultz, please, help yourself
to the hors d'oeuvres.

Herr Kommandant...

Quiet, Cockroach.

You mean it,
Herr Kommandant?

Why, of course.

Class distinction between
officers and unlisted men

is old-fashioned.

We're all in this together,
comrades-in-arms,

fighting for
the fatherland.

How's it going?

Do you feel anything
cutting your gums, huh?

Any nausea?

Dizziness?

Double vision?

How many fingers
do I have?

You're using him
as a food taster.

I'm shocked!

SCHULTZ:
T-T-That's all right.

Let him do it.

I'll show you,
Herr Kommandant,

there's nothing
to worry about.

Have some
stuffed eggs, Colonel.

Oh, thank you.

You see,
Herr Kommandant,

there's no
poison in the hors d'oeuvres.

And no hors d'oeuvres
in the hors d'oeuvres.

Well, I have
another tray in the kitchen

if you want to
take a chance.

Then go out and get
one, Cockroach.

Herr Kommandant,
I go, too,

to see there is
no funny business going on.

Um, am I
the first, sir?

I don't want you
to cause any trouble

while Field Marshal
Kesselring is here.

It'll mean the cooler.

Me, cause trouble?

And none of your
jokes, Hogan.

The Field Marshal
has no sense of humor.

I wouldn't say that.

He's got some pretty funny
planes in the Luftwaffe.

What are you
saying, Hogan?

Well, take
the Messerschmitt 110--

has no maneuverability
with a bomb load,

and that's just
for openers.

Yeah, it's only good
as a fighter.

I don't want you
to mention one word of this

in front of
the field marshal.

And the ME-109--
it has no air brakes.

It's no good as an escort.

No?!

They're no match
for our planes,

that's for sure.

Kesselring selected
those planes personally.

And you said
he didn't have a sense of humor?

Hogan, I order you

not to mention
one word of this

while the field
marshal is here.

Relax, Colonel,
it's our secret.

FELDKAMP:
Achtung.

Ah, welcome,
Field Marshal Messerschmitt.

Kesselring.

Kesselring.

Nice to see
you again, Colonel Klink.

Thank you, sir.

May I present
Colonel Hogan.

Colonel.

Fräulein Ziegler,

Colonel Klink,
Colonel Hogan.

Sir, would you
care for some hors d'oeuvres?

Thank you.

We switched the belt
on old Klink's coat.

Good.

Mmm.

Ah, Colonel Hogan.

The Field Marshal
and I were having

a friendly little
argument today.

Tell me, why are your
American airplanes

so inferior to those
of the Luftwaffe?

Well, I think
it's the speed.

Our new planes can't go
over 500 miles an hour.

You have a plane that
goes 500 miles an hour?

Did I say 500?

I meant 300.

You Gestapo have
a way of tricking us.

Well, this is just
a friendly little conversation.

Tell me, have you ever flown
a radar-equipped airplane?

I understand they are
very hard to maneuver.

Um, have you known
the field marshal long?

A year.

I always seem to be
attracted to military men.

How nice.

Especially a military genius
like the field marshal.

Uh, did you know
that the Luftwaffe

considers us both
military geniuses?

Oh?

I think my stock went up

when Kessie picked the
Messerschmitt 110 and 109.

You feel that was a mistake?

It is a known fact that the 110

has no maneuverability
with a bomb load.

I thought that was
a military secret.

You're right, you are an expert.

No, it's, uh, genius.

This is fascinating.

Tell me more.

Well, you see the 109
has no air brakes

and it's very difficult
to use as a bomber escort.

And you know all these things
about all our planes?

Of course, my dear.

Will you excuse me for a moment?

I'll be right back.

I want to hear more
from my genius.

Anything you wish
to know,

just ask me.

Will you excuse us
for a moment, Colonel?

Of course.

How are you doing
with Fräulein Ziegler?

She thinks
I'm a military genius.

Really?

Oh, she's fascinated by me.

I hope that the field marshal
is not jealous.

Well, maybe
he'll retire early

and you can
make your move.

I don't need you,
Hogan, to tell me when to make my move.

Colonel Klink.

KLINK:
Ah!

Your coat.

Major Feldkamp,
how very, very nice of you.

And now we're off
to the Hauserhof.

No, we are off
to the guardhouse.

You have revealed
military secrets.

You are under arrest
for treason.

Just a minute, Major.

Colonel Klink
didn't discuss

any military secrets
with me.

Ah, no, but he did
with Fräulein Ziegler,

who is one of our top
Gestapo agents.

After you, Colonel.

You know, Klink has
a good chance of being shot.

Yeah, and we planted
that paper on him.

Maybe we can get him to leave
that belt to us in his will.

You have a visitor,
Herr Kommandant.

KLINK:
Dismissed, Hogan.

Don't be too hasty, sir.

Hogan, I don't need
your sympathy.

Please go away.

All right,
but I just brought you

a little something to eat.

Something to eat?

Open up, Schultz,
open up.

Leftover hors d'oeuvres, sir.

A shame you had to leave
the party so early--

it really started
to swing after you left.

Mmm... you have
any more?

Oh, yeah.

A little desert.

Mmm, thank you.

Here, uh, let me loosen
that belt.

You seem a little stuffed
from all that food.

What food?

It's the first thing
I've had all day.

Yeah, well, then let me
take your coat.

It's a little warm in here.

Warm in here?

It must be freezing.

Well, it's not
the temperature, it's the humidity.

Hogan, please leave me alone.

You've caused
enough problems.

Well, you're the one
that shot off his mouth--

had to try to be a big man
to that little blonde.

You're cruel, Hogan.

Well, it's the truth.

All a dame has to do
is say hello to you,

and you're ready to give her
a road map to Hitler's bunker.

So I like women--
kill me.

I wouldn't say that
too loud in here.

Hogan, the saddest day
of my life

was the day
you got captured.

Are you kidding?

Before I arrived,
you had so many escapes

they were going to put
a revolving door at the front gate.

You told me about
the Messerschmitt 110!

Who asked you?

Thought you'd
like to know

what's going on
in the Luftwaffe.

I am the commandant
of a prisoner-of-war camp,

not a military expert.

That's "genius."

Mein Herr Ex-Kommandant.

What is it, Schultz?

I've good news and bad news.

Give him the good news
first, Schultz.

They ordered you to be shot
first thing in the morning.

That's good news?

What's the bad news?

They're not giving you
a blindfold.

That's hard to believe,
even for the Gestapo.

They're asking for volunteers
for the firing squad.

Hah! They'll never get
eight volunteers from my men.

I beg to report,
Herr Kommandant, they did.

How many volunteered?

Seventy-six.

How many men do you have?

Eighty-two.

At least six of my men
are loyal.

No, Herr Kommandant.

Two are in the hospital
and four are on furlough.

Well, that makes it unanimous.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We only have 80 men.

Not counting the two deserters,
but they came back this morning

when they heard
that you were going to be shot.

Gin.

Gin?

Did I catch you with much?

I got so many
kings and queens,

it looks like a dance
at Buckingham Palace.

You didn't get
Klink's belt.

No, I didn't,

and to tell you the truth,
I'm just as glad I didn't.

Why?

He may have to eat it
for dinner.

They're really putting the
screws on him, aren't they?

They have
the firing squad

taking target practice
outside his window.

That's cruel,
even for the Boche.

Worse yet, they're using
a monocle for a bulls-eye.

How's Klink taking it?

He's taking it
like the man that he is--

on his knees,
sobbing hysterically.

We've got to come up
with a plan for Klink's escape

or we'll never get
that belt.

Aw, he could never
handle an escape.

Yeah, the colonel
is right.

Some guard would shoot him
in five minutes.

I think he's safer

in front of
the firing squad.

Hi, Schultz.

Shh.

Shh!

What's up?

I have a plan to get
Commandant Klink to Switzerland,

but I need your help.

Forget it,
Schultz.

It won't work.

You haven't even heard my plan.

All right,
let's hear it, Schultz.

Shh.

I put a little something
into the dogs' food

that will make them sleep.

Then when Corporal Wolfschmidt
comes on guard duty,

I offer him a little schnapps.

He goes into my room--
that will give me the chance

to plant some dynamite in front
of Commandant Klink's cell

and blow it up.

Then I'll take
the Commandant Klink

and put him into my brother-
in-law's car outside the fence

and off he goes to Switzerland!

Don't like my plan, huh?

Uh, Schultz,
why don't you just use

the key you have here
to unlock his cell door?

If you got
enough dynamite

to blow up the door,
it'll blow up Klink.

How about the part with the dog?

They hate you, Schultz.

You couldn't get
within 20 feet of them.

He's right.

I have a plan.

Come here.

Stay with Wolfschmidt
and the schnapps bit,

forget the dogs--
they bite the hand that feeds them--

and also cancel
your brother-in-law's car.

But what do we use
to get Klink to Switzerland?

Field Marshal
Kesselring's car.

Oh, wunderbar, wonderful!

Now, have Klinky
in the car

exactly 9:05
and leave the rest to us.

Oh, thank you,
thank you.

I knew I could count
on the prisoners

to help the commandant
to escape.

I thought we were not
going to try to help Klink escape.

Well, you don't think
that Laurel and Hardy

can really make
their plan work, do you?

But if they try,

they'll be shot
by the ruddy Gestapo.

No, they won't.

I've got another plan.

It's going to
save Klink's life,

and we wind up
with the belt.

SCHULTZ:
Care to have some schnapps, Wolfschmidt?

I have a bottle
under the pillow in my room.

Go and get it.

What's the word,
Schultz?

I have good news
and bad news.

This time give me
the bad news first.

Headquarters turned down
your reprieve.

So what could
be good news?

They're giving you steak
with your last meal.

Oh, Herr Kommandant,
I have a very good idea.

Herr Kommandant, I have a plan.

If you follow me,

you will be in Switzerland
in the morning.

Me run?

Huh! Schultz,
you forget--

I am a German officer.

My father before me
was a German officer.

All the Klink men
have always served in the military,

and the one thing

that has set them apart
from all the others

was their courage.

How would you like
your steak?

What do you want
me to do?

Stand back.

Ooh! Ooh, ooh.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I-I wanted to break down
the door.

You don't have to.

Use the key!

Oh, I'm sorry--
I forgot.

Just a moment,
Herr Kommandant.

Shh!

We've got five minutes left.

Any sign of them?

Not yet, sir.

( metal crashing )

Sounds like
Stan and Ollie now.

Clumsy idiot.

I'm sorry,
Herr Kommandant.

I didn't see the can.

Next time watch
where you're going.

Shh.

They'll be shot before
they even reach the car.

( cans crashing )

Ooh... shh!

( can bangs )

Here they come.

Stand by.

Ow!

( shushing )
Ah, ah, ah, ah!

Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Herr Kommandant,
they have wonderful doctors in Switzerland.

Dismissed.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Herr Kommandant, good luck,
and I hope we meet again.

Never mind,
I'll do it.

( starter cranking,
car doesn't start )

Something wrong?

The car won't start.

( starter cranking )

We can push it.

That's right.

Now, push hard, Schultz.

Hurry up.

( straining ):
Push, Schultz.

( grunting )

HOGAN:
What happened, Colonel?

KLINK:
The battery's dead.

HOGAN:
All right, come on, everybody, push.

KLINK:
All right, fine.

I'll get in now.

Oh, no, not yet.

What? But wait!

Hey, wait, wait!

My car, it's gone.

My only chance
for freedom.

Ah... oh!

( explosion )

FELDKAMP:
What is going on here?

Klink, what are you doing
out of the cooler?

Well, for one thing,

saving the life
of Field Marshal Kesselring.

What are you talking about?

It's obvious.

Colonel Klink looked out
of his cell window,

saw somebody planting a bomb
in the field marshal's car,

overpowered the guard,
and at the risk of his own life

ran out to save
the life of the man

who condemned him to death.

Is that what happened,
Colonel Klink?

Sir, I couldn't have
told it better myself.

I am very grateful
to you, Colonel.

You are a brave man.

Thank you, sir.

All right, Schultz.

Take the colonel
back to the cooler.

No need
for that, Major.

I am dropping
the charges

and reinstating him
as Commandant of Stalag 13.

Thank you, sir.

Well, I think this calls
for a celebration.

Why don't we all go
to the Hauserhof?

I'm sure Colonel Klink and I
will be glad to buy the drinks.

Excellent idea!

We can go
in my car.

What are you talking about?

This man is a prisoner!

I keep forgetting.

I'm sorry, sir,
you'll have to host this party yourself.

Dismissed, Schultz.

Get in touch with
the underground?

They're at the Hauserhof
waiting for Klink and his belt.

SCHULTZ:
Well, gentlemen,

we have good news
and bad news.

What's the good
news, Schultz?

Colonel Klink is back.

What's the bad news?

We have to call off
the firing squad.

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