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1
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:17,643
( theme song playing )
2
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,309
Papa Bear
calling Goldilocks.
3
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,019
Papa Bear calling
Goldilocks.
4
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,646
Come in, please.
5
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,732
Come in, Goldilocks.
6
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,443
BRITISH WOMAN ( over radio ):
Papa Bear, Goldilocks wishes to know
7
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,696
if you were able to get
any photographs
8
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,365
of the new German antiaircraft
guns in Hammelburg.
9
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,617
Negative, Goldilocks.
10
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,327
We sent out a new team,
11
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,162
but the area's
under tight security.
12
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,707
Were you able to get
any information on the guns
13
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,834
from our agents
in Germany and Italy?
14
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,544
Negative again,
Goldilocks.
15
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,920
Roger, Papa Bear.
16
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,673
Continue efforts on
the new antiaircraft guns.
17
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,134
Roger, Goldilocks.
18
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,468
Uh, just a moment, miss.
19
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:37,222
Would you care to be a pen pal
to a lonely British war hero
20
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,557
in a German prison camp
21
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,934
who lies in his bunk
staring at the ceiling,
22
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,937
wondering if ever again he'll
see the white cliffs of Dover
23
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,606
or go strolling through
the heather in the Highlands
24
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,736
or take a rosy-cheeked English
lass punting on the Thames?
25
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,237
Stand by, Papa Bear.
26
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,656
Our wires have just been crossed
with the BBC
27
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,908
and we're getting one
of those dreadful soap operas.
28
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,830
Roger, Goldilocks,
over and out.
29
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,458
Yeah, she thinks
she's a ruddy comedian.
30
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,710
Well, don't take it
so hard, Newkirk.
31
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,963
At least you've got a job
waiting for you at the BBC.
32
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,132
Kinch?
33
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,133
Yeah, Colonel.
34
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,384
What'd the Allied
Headquarters want?
35
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,303
They still want us
to get a line
36
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,387
on those new
antiaircraft guns.
37
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,472
Did you get in touch
38
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,556
with Major Bonacelli
in Capizzio?
39
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,766
No, I couldn't
reach him.
40
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,393
If you ask me, Bonacelli's
working as a singing waiter
41
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,604
in an Italian restaurant
in Switzerland.
42
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,022
You're not
being fair.
43
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,649
He happens to be
a very valuable agent for us.
44
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,734
Yeah, I just hope
45
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,569
the Germans haven't
caught on to him yet.
46
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,570
Try getting him
again, huh?
47
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,613
Right, Colonel.
48
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,240
Papa Bear
calling Capizzio.
49
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,492
Come in, Capizzio.
50
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,202
Colonel Hogan, I...
51
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,828
Hold it,
Carter.
52
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,039
Papa Bear
calling Capizzio.
53
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,457
Come in,
Major Bonacelli.
54
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,458
Colonel...
55
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,084
Please,
LeBeau.
56
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,753
Come in,
Major Bonacelli.
57
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,506
I'm in, I'm in.
58
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,633
Hold it, Major.
59
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,926
Major Bonacelli!
60
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,136
You have a wonderful memory
for faces, Colonnello.
61
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:58,970
Bravo, eh?
62
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,722
Well, why aren't you
in Capizzio?
63
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,350
Well, because
they discovered my secret radio.
64
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,935
Well, didn't you have it
camouflaged?
65
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,354
Yeah, but who figured
the captain of the Gestapo
66
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,023
would put a fork into
a plate of cold lasagna?
67
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,441
Oh, great.
68
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,735
Ahh, and then we tried
to wire a pizza
69
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,695
and I believe it
was the tomato sauce
70
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,947
that kept
shorting it out.
71
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:17,739
I don't know.
72
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,699
Major, did you
by any chance see
73
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:22,369
those new German
antiaircraft guns at Capizzio?
74
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,370
No.
75
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:24,621
You see, when
you are running
76
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,622
a prisoner-of-war camp,
77
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,873
you do not
have the chance
78
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,749
to see the equipment.
79
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,084
We tried to get a look
80
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,585
at those guns
in Hammelburg, Colonel,
81
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,962
but it was just impossible.
82
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:35,340
Well, it's up to you,
Major Bonacelli.
83
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,299
Me?!
84
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,634
Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,802
( speaking Italian )
86
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,720
But please, no jokes,
Colonnello Hogan.
87
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,139
I only drop in
to get a hot meal
88
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,766
and a road map
to Switzerland.
89
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,226
Major, you've got
to help us.
90
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,103
Well, you didn't hear
what I said, eh?
91
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,396
The Gestapo is after me.
92
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,940
They're not going
to suspect you're here.
93
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,608
( sighs )
94
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,319
Colonel Hogan,
you're looking at a very tired man.
95
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,904
You know, to
make my escape,
96
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,657
for three days
I had to be with a donkey cart.
97
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,701
Well, why would that
make you tired?
98
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,327
My dear boy,
today in Italy
99
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,288
when a man says
"a donkey cart,"
100
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,873
he doesn't necessarily
mean that he has a donkey.
101
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,962
Look, look,
I'll make a deal with you.
102
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,547
I'll check
to see if Klink
103
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,173
has any information
about your defection.
104
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,883
If he doesn't,
you go into town,
105
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,343
get the pictures
of the guns
106
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,720
and we'll get you
to London.
107
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,305
What do you got
against Switzerland?
108
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,474
You could be
a big help to London.
109
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,351
Think of all
the Italian lives you'd save.
110
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:32,856
All right.
111
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,316
I get a headache
from yodeling, anyway.
112
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,464
Hey, LeBeau, what
is that you're cooking?
113
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,882
A pizza.
114
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,091
Pizza?!
115
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,385
Yeah, that's
what Major Bonacelli
116
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,553
ordered for breakfast.
117
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,930
Where'd you get the stuff
to make that with?
118
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,057
What do you think
he brought in his suitcase?
119
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:09,184
Clothes?
120
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,103
He had one pair of shorts
wrapped around a salami
121
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,647
and four pair of socks
filled with mozzarella cheese.
122
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,232
Hey, you know
if the Gestapo
123
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,902
ever let their dogs
have a sniff of his garlic,
124
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,112
they're going to tear
old Bonacelli to pieces.
125
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:21,821
( chuckling )
126
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,701
Hello, LeBeau,
my friend.
127
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,746
How are you
this morning?
128
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,707
You know how he is--
up to his ears in garlic.
129
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,584
It figures you'd
be the first one
130
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,711
to get wind of what
he's cooking, Schultz.
131
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,129
Oh, you
are cooking?
132
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,923
Oh, come off
it, Schultz.
133
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,008
You can smell his
stuff for a mile.
134
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,343
Three miles.
135
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,386
Somebody opened
the window on my bus.
136
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,764
Here, anybody want
a piece of pizza?
137
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,432
Oh, ja, ja, ja,ja, ja, ja.
138
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,767
I would love
to have...
139
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,394
Oh, that looks
beautiful.
140
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,439
Mmm, that's
a beautiful pizza, ja.
141
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,941
Tell me, LeBeau, tell me,
142
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,068
why did you make
an Italian dish?
143
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,945
Don't you know
what day this is?
144
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,488
No, what day is this?
145
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,989
Leonardo da Vinci's
birthday.
146
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,824
How do you like that?
I forgot it.
147
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,409
Oh, yeah, LeBeau's
a very sentimental man.
148
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:09,410
Thank you.
149
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,411
Yeah...
150
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,288
Last week he made
a tamale pie
151
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,332
in honor of
Ricardo Cortés.
152
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,210
Carter, that's
"Hernando Cortés."
153
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,546
I always get
those two mixed up.
154
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,838
Mmm, wunderbar.
155
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,131
Wunderbar!
156
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,592
Mmm, I wish my wife
would cook like this.
157
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,554
Oh, come on, Schultzy,
your old lady can't be that bad.
158
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,846
No?!
159
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,975
Last year I had
Christmas dinner here in camp!
160
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,059
You didn't.
161
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,061
And with
the prisoners.
162
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,062
Hi, fellas.
163
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,146
You want
a piece
164
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,147
of pizza,
Colonel?
165
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,148
Uh, no, thanks.
166
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,483
Good, I take his piece.
167
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,484
Okay...
168
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,611
Boys,
arrivederci.
169
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,654
Good.
170
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,655
Th-th-that's
Italian.
171
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,656
Yeah, we know.
172
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,657
NEWKIRK:
Marvelous.
173
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,409
♪ O, sole mio... ♪
174
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,164
Major Bonacelli.
175
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,000
I thought the guard
would never leave.
176
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,461
Oh, the smell of that pizza
was driving me out of my mind.
177
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,338
I've got good news
for you, Major.
178
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,423
Just one moment,
Colonnello.
179
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,718
Ooh, ahh, ahh...
180
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,094
Mmm, mmm...
181
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,013
How you
like it, Major?
182
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,181
Well, it could use
a little more garlic.
183
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,683
If it had
any more garlic,
184
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,727
it'd take the hair
off your chest.
185
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,103
Not when it is
Italian hair.
186
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,271
Eh?
187
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,188
( laughs )
188
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,024
Yeah, Major, uh...
189
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,066
nothing has
come through
190
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,609
from the Gestapo
on your escape.
191
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:24,610
That's good news, huh?
192
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,195
You can go out
through the tunnel,
193
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,530
come in through
the main gate
194
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,823
and help us
with our mission.
195
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,033
Just because
we got good news,
196
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,617
why do we
have to spoil it?
197
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,953
If we can get Klink
to take you into town
198
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,288
to see those
antiaircraft guns,
199
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,331
you can be of great
value to headquarters.
200
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,374
But Colonel Hogan,
201
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,543
they could get word
here in a minute.
202
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,545
And you know the next
thing will happen?
203
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,214
I will end up into
the big pizzeria in the sky.
204
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,383
Now, look, Major,
if we work fast,
205
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,968
you got nothing
to worry about.
206
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,556
All right, all right,
I will do it.
207
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,225
But first you must promise me
to do one favor.
208
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,727
Anything.
209
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:00,730
Make him put more garlic
on the next pizza, eh?
210
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,986
Colonel Hogan is here,
Herr Kommandant.
211
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,404
Good morning,
Colonel.
212
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,405
Good morning,
Hogan.
213
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,698
State your complaint
and leave.
214
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,992
Why is it every time
I come in here
215
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,494
you think I have
a complaint?
216
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,704
Well, then, Hogan,
what can I do for you?
217
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,122
I have a complaint.
218
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,416
Please, I have no time
this morning.
219
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,960
I happen to have received
a letter from my mother.
220
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,838
Hogan, I don't even read letters
from my own mother.
221
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,007
The letter I received
from my mother
222
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,134
is one that I sent her!
223
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,679
What are you
talking about?
224
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:36,224
This time your censors
have gone too far.
225
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,976
Suppose you let me
be the judge of that, hmm?
226
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,394
This letter was one
227
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,188
in which I said
to my mother,
228
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,731
"If I ever have a son,
229
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,691
"I hope he is
as fine a man
230
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:46,943
as our commandant,
Colonel Klink."
231
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,945
I turned this over
to intelligence immediately,
232
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,489
and they assured me
they will break your code.
233
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,615
( knock at door )
234
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,035
What is it,
Schultz?
235
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,287
Herr Kommandant, you
are having a visitor.
236
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,580
A visitor?
237
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,998
Major Bonacelli--
238
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,669
the Italian prisoner-
of-war commandant-- remember?
239
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:08,923
He was once sent here
to you for a training course.
240
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:09,924
Bonacelli,
of course.
241
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,050
Send him in.
242
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,218
It's always nice
to visit
243
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,344
with one of our allies.
244
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,428
Allies?
245
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,639
I thought you said
he was Italian.
246
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,849
Hogan, Major Bonacelli
is a loyal officer.
247
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,979
If you are ever in Capizzio,
you must visit me, eh?
248
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,438
Oh, I'd love to, Major.
249
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,856
I will show you sights
250
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:28,317
that will fill
your heart with amore.
251
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,152
And, when the moon rises
252
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,905
over the barbed wires
of the prison camp,
253
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:37,410
it will make your knees
feel weak like linguini.
254
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:41,581
I hear that he's called
"The Klink of Capizzio."
255
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:49,171
Ah, Major Bonacelli,
how nice to see you.
256
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,924
How nice to see you,
Maestro, eh?
257
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,301
Oh, you're
very kind.
258
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,385
Oh, not at all.
259
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,304
I did not know
how to run
260
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,014
a prisoner-of-war camp
261
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,516
until I studied
under the great Klink.
262
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:01,517
Oh, really?
Yes, yes.
263
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,060
Before I took
lessons from you,
264
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,687
the only thing
I ever threw
265
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,772
into the cooler
was white wine.
266
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,649
Oh, you were
my finest pupil.
267
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:09,650
Grazie.
268
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,111
If you fellas are going
to have a class reunion,
269
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,029
I'd like to leave.
270
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,238
Who is he?
271
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,866
Colonel Hogan, the ranking
officer for the prisoners.
272
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:18,117
Don't you
remember me, Major?
273
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,619
I was here when you
were walking around the campus
274
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:21,537
in your frosh beanie.
275
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,621
Ah, yes.
276
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:23,789
Yes, yes,
I remember, yes.
277
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,416
What can I
do for you, Major?
278
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,959
He obviously wants
a refresher course.
279
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,045
In my camp, for that
you would have gotten
280
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,171
two days
in the cooler.
281
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,673
If you had a nice white wine,
it'd be worth it.
282
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,883
( gasps )
283
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,927
You must forgive Colonel Hogan's
distorted sense of humor.
284
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,554
You're still
laughing over the one
285
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,638
about the Italian "allies."
286
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,681
Oh, any dissension
287
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,266
between the Germans
and the Italians
288
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,101
is purely enemy
propaganda.
289
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,144
Ah, bravo, bravo.
290
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,228
Uh, Major, how many
291
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,772
of the new, secret
antiaircraft guns
292
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,398
have you got at Capizzio?
293
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,901
Uh, secret
antiaircraft guns?
294
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,153
Yeah, the same ones
they delivered to Hammelburg.
295
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,237
Oh, don't tell me
296
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,114
they haven't shown them
to their allies.
297
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,741
Well, I'm positive
the Colonnello Klink
298
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,577
would be more than happy
to show me the new guns.
299
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:02,578
Eh?
300
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,621
My pleasure, sir.
301
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,289
First we will
inspect the guns
302
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,249
and then we will go
to the Hofbrau
303
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:09,168
for a fine luncheon
of sauerbraten, huh?
304
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,212
Sauerbraten?
305
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,463
You will be my guest, sir.
306
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,881
I'll just go
and call for the car.
307
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:17,176
Nice work, Major.
308
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,053
You also got yourself
a free lunch.
309
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,054
Sauerbraten?
310
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,430
I'm sure
that the food
311
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,598
is deadlier
than the guns.
312
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,349
Boom!
313
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,212
Well, Major...
314
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,422
there's our latest
antiaircraft gun.
315
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,968
We will wipe out
the Allied air power.
316
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:02,555
Their planes
will drop like flies.
317
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,598
Very impressive,
Colonnello, very impressive.
318
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,601
Well, now that we've
seen the guns,
319
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,145
it's off to
the sauerbraten!
320
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,272
( camera skitters )
321
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,574
May I ask what you're doing
with this camera?
322
00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,367
Uh...
323
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,452
Uh, heh, heh...
324
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:26,620
I know...
325
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:29,498
I know you will think of me
as being too sentimental.
326
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,252
You see, I wanted a picture
of you, Colonnello Klink.
327
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,044
A picture of me?
328
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,254
Yes.
329
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,840
I always had admiration
for three great heroes:
330
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:44,013
Cristoforo Columbo,
Guglielmo Marconi and... you.
331
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,848
Me?
332
00:12:45,889 --> 00:12:47,808
With Marconi and Columbus?
333
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,935
Not necessarily
in that order.
334
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,604
Oh, that's
most flattering.
335
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,855
May I?
336
00:12:52,896 --> 00:12:53,814
Stand right over here.
337
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:54,690
We have direct light.
338
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,774
Yes, yes.
339
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,693
All right,
are you ready?
340
00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,403
Colonel, more to the right.
341
00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:03,032
That's good, very good.
342
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,033
Smile, eh?
343
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,743
This is my good side.
344
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,953
Watch the birdie.
345
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,219
You've got
to give it to old Bonacelli.
346
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,971
I never thought he'd
go through with it.
347
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,681
Yeah, he knows
which side of the pizza
348
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,058
his cheese is melted on.
349
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,392
Colonel, I contacted
the underground.
350
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,518
Good.
351
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,270
As soon as Bonacelli
gets back from town,
352
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,230
they will be ready
to get him to England.
353
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:36,273
Ah, should be
in about...
354
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,399
Hey, hey, we
got visitors.
355
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,486
KINCH:
Hochstetter?
356
00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:42,237
That could be bad news.
357
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,698
Ever hear of the Gestapo
bringing good news?
358
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,579
Hey, Schultz...
359
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,705
what brings Hochstetter
360
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,499
and his fun-loving
Gestapo here?
361
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,875
I know nothing!
362
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,418
The area is
all clean, Colonel.
363
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,294
Boy, it sure is.
364
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,629
You can eat
off the ground.
365
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,631
Which is a lot more
than I can say
366
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,216
for the tables
in the mess hall.
367
00:14:02,257 --> 00:14:03,258
It is not clean!
368
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,928
There is paper
right over there.
369
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,304
That's the
guards' area.
370
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,764
Make them
clean it up.
371
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,682
It blew over
from your barracks.
372
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,935
When the wind shifts,
we'll pick it up.
373
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,103
HOCHSTETTER:
Schultz!
374
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,312
Schultz!
375
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,730
Jawohl, Herr Major.
376
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:17,815
Where's
Colonel Klink?
377
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:18,899
Oh, he is in Hammelburg
378
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,234
having lunch
with a guest.
379
00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:22,069
Oh, well, have him
report to me
380
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,112
the moment he returns.
381
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,113
Jawohl, Herr Major.
382
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,197
Anything I can do?
383
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,073
I have reports
384
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,950
that there's a traitor
in the area.
385
00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:28,784
Oh, a traitor.
386
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,369
Oh, I report
to the commandant
387
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:32,162
the minute he returns
with Major Bonacelli.
388
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,163
Good, I...
389
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:33,831
Bonacelli?
390
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:36,083
That's the traitor!
391
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,460
Carter, wander over
to Hochstetter's car.
392
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,838
I think he's got
some papers on his tire.
393
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,631
I don't see
any papers.
394
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:43,507
Puncture the tire.
395
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,050
We need time.
396
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,718
Oh, I get it.
397
00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:48,929
All right,
come on, LeBeau,
398
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,181
we got to get into town
and warn Bonacelli.
399
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,102
Herr Major, Herr Major...
400
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,187
Herr Major,
Major Bonacelli
401
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,314
is the best
prisoner-of-war commandant
402
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,524
in the Italian army.
403
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,026
He is giving
information to the enemy.
404
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,736
Where is
Colonel Klink having lunch?
405
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:05,654
At the Hofbrau.
406
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,281
The Hofbrau, good.
407
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,327
Major Hochstetter!
408
00:15:12,327 --> 00:15:13,495
What?!
409
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,665
Please, don't forget,
order the Wiener schnitzel.
410
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,749
It's excellent!
411
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,126
Bah!
412
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:30,053
I wonder why he doesn't
like Wiener schnitzel.
413
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,680
Because it
was outlawed
414
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,265
at the Geneva
Convention,
415
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,475
along with cruel
and inhuman treatment.
416
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,310
Oh.
417
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,336
( Klink laughs with glee )
418
00:16:02,377 --> 00:16:03,879
I can smell
the sauerbraten already.
419
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:04,963
Take a deep breath.
420
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,214
Is that an order?
421
00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:06,965
( chuckles )
422
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,717
Major Bonacelli, I assure you,
423
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,385
there's absolutely
nothing in the world
424
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:12,179
like German cooking.
425
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,680
You are
so right--
426
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,390
there is nothing
in the world
427
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,516
like German cooking.
428
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,393
Colonel Klink,
good afternoon!
429
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:19,978
Gretchen, my Liebchen.
430
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,188
This is Major Bonacelli.
431
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:24,399
This is the prettiest waitress
in all of Germany.
432
00:16:24,399 --> 00:16:25,776
Oh, Colonel,
you say that
433
00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:26,860
to all
the waitresses.
434
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:27,861
Come this way.
435
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,656
She is...
crazy about me.
436
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:31,823
Colonnello, really...
437
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,159
you should not go
to all this trouble for me.
438
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,286
Oh, please, I want
to show you my friendship.
439
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,537
You showed me the guns.
440
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:38,872
That was friendly
enough, no?
441
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,916
I am going to give
you a taste
442
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:42,584
of real German
hospitality.
443
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,086
All right,
if you insist.
444
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,379
Please.
445
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,630
Here we are.
446
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,799
Would you like
to look at a menu?
447
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:49,758
Ah-- no menu.
448
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,761
We will have
two orders of sauerbraten.
449
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,096
And veal scaloppini
for me, huh?
450
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,597
Oh, I've ordered
for both of us.
451
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:56,890
No, if you
don't mind, Colonnello,
452
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:59,351
I would like to order
something else, you see.
453
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,645
Oh, but you see,
this is the chef's specialty.
454
00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:03,688
But I am sure,
only I don't think
455
00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:06,316
she can lift
two orders of sauerbraten.
456
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,778
Why don't you look
at the menu, Major.
457
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:10,821
Um...
458
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,114
Danke schön, Fräulein.
459
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,451
Entschuldigen, bitte...
460
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,745
the potatoes you
ordered are here.
461
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,996
Ja, out here,
please.
462
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,003
( scuffling outside )
463
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,972
What's going on?
464
00:17:37,013 --> 00:17:38,473
They must have
just ordered.
465
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:39,850
What do we do now?
466
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:41,184
We've got to get him
467
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,602
out in the kitchen
somehow.
468
00:17:45,188 --> 00:17:48,775
Otto, give me one sauerbraten
and a Wiener schnitz...
469
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,401
You're not Otto.
470
00:17:49,442 --> 00:17:50,986
Who are you?
471
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,445
We're with the Gestapo.
472
00:17:52,487 --> 00:17:53,363
( gasps )
473
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:54,281
Gestapo...
474
00:17:54,322 --> 00:17:55,490
Shh.
475
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:56,491
Colonel Klink is
under suspicion
476
00:17:56,491 --> 00:17:57,826
as a traitor.
477
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,661
Colonel Klink?
478
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,663
Fräulein,
go about your duties
479
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,497
in the usual fashion.
480
00:18:02,789 --> 00:18:03,331
Yes.
481
00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:03,957
HOGAN:
Fräulein?
482
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:04,916
Yes?
483
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,877
Who ordered
the Wiener schnitzel?
484
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:09,004
The Italian major.
485
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,213
Danke.
486
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,382
LeBeau, did
you get that?
487
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,010
One sauerbraten and
one Wiener schnitzel.
488
00:18:15,051 --> 00:18:16,052
Right.
489
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:22,601
I think this chef could
win the war for us.
490
00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:23,643
( laughs )
491
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,562
They have a marvelous
wine list here.
492
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,439
What would you
like with your Wiener schnitzel?
493
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,024
Oh, just a glass of water
494
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,817
with a dash of
bicarbonate of soda.
495
00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,203
How is this going
to get Bonacelli
496
00:18:42,245 --> 00:18:43,705
into the kitchen,
Colonel?
497
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,373
With this note
you're going to slip
498
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,666
in his Wiener schnitzel.
499
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,795
Believe me, it will be
the tastiest thing on his plate.
500
00:18:50,837 --> 00:18:52,839
Okay, put it up
on the counter.
501
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:53,632
Right.
502
00:19:03,391 --> 00:19:06,519
( conversation inaudible )
503
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,191
Now the major says
504
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,193
he ordered
the Schnitzel Holstein.
505
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:15,570
Tell him we are
all out of Holsteins.
506
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,864
But all you have to do
is fry an egg on the top.
507
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,200
Tell him we're
all out of eggs.
508
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:20,909
All right.
509
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,498
I'm sorry, Major,
the chef says we're out of eggs.
510
00:19:26,539 --> 00:19:27,582
Hmm, that's
ridiculous.
511
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,250
I'll have a word
with him.
512
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,919
Oh, no, never mind,
Colonnello, please.
513
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:32,337
I am really
not that hungry.
514
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,755
But, Major,
you are my guest.
515
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,674
I want you to have
everything you want.
516
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:38,343
Well, if that is the case,
I will have a pizza.
517
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,344
Oh...
518
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:43,973
You know, actually
this looks very tasty.
519
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:45,225
Well, help
yourself, Colonnello.
520
00:19:45,266 --> 00:19:46,351
Please,
I insist, please.
521
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:47,394
Oh, thank you.
522
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,190
Mmm...
523
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,775
Maybe I went wrong
524
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,193
with the sauerbraten,
huh?
525
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,153
Let me suggest that, um...
526
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,116
I should try some, eh?
527
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,283
Ja, ja.
528
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,167
Where are you
going, Major?
529
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,044
I'm going to compliment
the chef.
530
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:15,171
But you haven't
even tasted the Wiener schnitzel.
531
00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:16,631
Yes, of course,
all right...
532
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:17,674
I will try some.
533
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,677
Mmm, fantastic.
534
00:20:20,718 --> 00:20:22,220
The chef is a genius.
535
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:23,263
Don't tell him.
536
00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:25,432
The first thing he'll do
is raise the prices.
537
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:27,767
Just because I tell him
that I enjoy the food?
538
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,894
You can never be nice
to a German.
539
00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:32,564
Well, then I will say
it was just fair, huh?
540
00:20:32,605 --> 00:20:35,191
You eat and I
will come back.
541
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:47,704
( growls )
542
00:20:47,745 --> 00:20:49,330
Fix that tire, Dummkopf!
543
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:50,540
Jawohl,Herr Major.
544
00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:51,708
( yells )
545
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,502
I shall always
be grateful to you.
546
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,172
You know, I never thought
I would get out of here alive.
547
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,715
Then you knew
the Gestapo was coming.
548
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,341
No, but did you taste
the Wiener schnitzel?
549
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:01,342
Mamma mia!
550
00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:02,552
Uh-oh, talk
of the devil.
551
00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:05,763
Come on, let's get out
the back way.
552
00:21:05,805 --> 00:21:07,015
There isn't time--
in the locker.
553
00:21:07,056 --> 00:21:09,809
LeBeau, take care of them.
554
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:10,852
What?!
555
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:11,853
HOCHSTETTER:
Where is Bonacelli?
556
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:13,605
KLINK:
Major Hochstetter, won't you join me?
557
00:21:13,646 --> 00:21:14,814
Where's Bonacelli?
558
00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:15,899
The Wiener schnitzel
is marvelous.
559
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,984
Where is Bonacelli?!
560
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:18,943
In the kitchen.
561
00:21:18,985 --> 00:21:19,777
The kitchen.
562
00:21:20,987 --> 00:21:22,655
He's not here.
563
00:21:22,697 --> 00:21:23,531
Where's
Major Bonacelli?
564
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,116
He went out
the back way.
565
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,117
The back way.
566
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:36,669
It's safe.
567
00:21:38,546 --> 00:21:40,673
Would you believe
a prisoner-of-war commandant
568
00:21:40,715 --> 00:21:41,758
ending up in a cooler?
569
00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:42,759
Don't complain--
570
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,469
it's better than being
at the Russian front.
571
00:21:44,510 --> 00:21:45,762
But not as good
as Switzerland.
572
00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:47,180
All right, let's go.
573
00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:54,771
Major Bonacelli.
574
00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:55,647
Yes?
575
00:21:55,688 --> 00:21:57,482
Who's going to pay
for the check?
576
00:21:57,523 --> 00:21:58,650
Colonnello Klink, no?
577
00:21:58,691 --> 00:21:59,484
Oh, that's
impossible--
578
00:21:59,525 --> 00:22:01,069
he went out
with the Gestapo;
579
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:02,236
he may never come back.
580
00:22:02,236 --> 00:22:03,863
Can we talk about
this some other time?
581
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,240
But then I'll have to pay
for it myself.
582
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,700
All right, give
it to me, eh?
583
00:22:10,828 --> 00:22:13,831
I got an idea.
584
00:22:13,873 --> 00:22:14,958
Where's Bonacelli?
585
00:22:19,253 --> 00:22:20,296
Major, what
are you doing?
586
00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:21,297
I just paid
the check.
587
00:22:21,464 --> 00:22:22,256
Well, come on.
588
00:22:22,256 --> 00:22:23,508
Well, I'm waiting
for the change.
589
00:22:25,051 --> 00:22:27,804
Ten marks for a
lunch like that--
590
00:22:27,845 --> 00:22:28,846
that's ridiculous.
591
00:22:28,888 --> 00:22:29,973
All right, listen, Major.
592
00:22:30,014 --> 00:22:32,433
Tell Klink's driver
that the Colonel wants him
593
00:22:32,475 --> 00:22:33,142
inside the restaurant
immediately.
594
00:22:35,311 --> 00:22:38,272
Driver, Colonnello
Klink wants you
595
00:22:38,272 --> 00:22:39,774
in the restaurant
immediately.
596
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:41,943
He has just had an
attack of sauerbraten.
597
00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:43,194
Mach schnell!Mach schnell!
598
00:22:54,789 --> 00:22:55,748
Halt!
599
00:22:55,790 --> 00:22:56,666
Halt!
600
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:57,917
Corporal Schneider!
601
00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,210
Yes, Major?
602
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:00,461
Follow that car!
603
00:23:00,503 --> 00:23:01,337
But Major...
604
00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:03,214
Follow that car,
Dummkopf!
605
00:23:20,898 --> 00:23:22,483
Goldilocks calling
Papa Bear.
606
00:23:22,483 --> 00:23:24,235
Goldilocks
calling Papa Bear.
607
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,486
Come in, Papa Bear.
608
00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:27,071
This is Papa Bear.
609
00:23:27,113 --> 00:23:28,489
Go ahead, Goldilocks.
610
00:23:28,489 --> 00:23:31,617
( clears throat )
611
00:23:31,659 --> 00:23:34,662
This is Major Bonacelli
to Papa Bear.
612
00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,415
The photographs
are in friendly hands.
613
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:40,334
I wish to thank you once again
for saving my life.
614
00:23:40,376 --> 00:23:42,170
You did a fine job, Major.
615
00:23:42,211 --> 00:23:43,629
Grazie.
616
00:23:43,671 --> 00:23:46,424
Incidentally, I will send you
a real Italian dinner--
617
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,468
from antipasto to spumoni--
618
00:23:48,509 --> 00:23:50,845
as soon as I'm released
from the hospital.
619
00:23:50,845 --> 00:23:52,680
Were you wounded
trying to escape?
620
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,348
Much worse.
621
00:23:54,348 --> 00:23:58,269
I'm suffering from an acute case
of Wiener schnitzel.
622
00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:01,189
And I want you to send
a motorized detail to the river
623
00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:02,190
and work backwards.
624
00:24:02,231 --> 00:24:05,026
And have Corporal Lallenscheid
take a patrol
625
00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:07,153
and cover sectors
east of the camp.
626
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:11,699
Oh, and Lieutenant Bergman,
find my staff car
627
00:24:11,699 --> 00:24:14,702
or your next assignment
will be searching for a sled
628
00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:15,953
on the eastern front!
629
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:18,956
I knew
I should not
630
00:24:18,998 --> 00:24:20,333
have trusted
Major Bonacelli.
631
00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:23,127
Remember, you heard about
the Italians from me first.
632
00:24:23,169 --> 00:24:24,212
He's correct,
Herr Kommandant.
633
00:24:24,253 --> 00:24:25,379
He warned you.
634
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:27,381
Dismissed, Schultz.
635
00:24:27,381 --> 00:24:29,217
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
636
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:31,469
Colonel Klink, this
just arrived for you.
637
00:24:31,510 --> 00:24:32,678
It's from
Major Bonacelli.
638
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,055
Oh,
thank you.
639
00:24:34,096 --> 00:24:35,598
It's probably
a thank-you note
640
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,974
for the sauerbraten.
641
00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:41,187
Ha! Look at
this, Hogan.
642
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:42,897
He's not only
a traitor,
643
00:24:42,897 --> 00:24:44,482
but he's a bad
photographer.
644
00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:48,569
Gee, what a shame
he didn't get
645
00:24:48,569 --> 00:24:50,029
more of you
in here, sir.
646
00:24:50,071 --> 00:24:52,740
Sure would have liked one
of these for my wallet.
647
00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:57,340
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