All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s04e21 Up in Klinks Room.eng

( theme song playing )

Hmm.

Interesting,
very interesting.

Hmm.

( yawns )

Concentration, Hogan--
that's the answer.

And knowing exactly
what to look for.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

You're so right,
Commandant.

My move?

Not... quite.

Your dinner, Herr Kommandant.

Mm-hmm!

I've got you.

Checkmate.

How do you do it, sir?

That's fantastic!

It's very simple, Hogan:

I play chess exactly
like I run Stalag 13--

eyes open,
watching your every move.

I, uh... must say,
Commandant,

I wish you wouldn't
eat when you play.

You got grease
all over these pieces.

I did?

Mm-hmm.

The way you wolfed
that chicken leg down--

bad for the digestion.

I'm still hungry.

Well, you left
your vegetables and potato.

If you're going to leave
that much food,

I'm going to bring
a doggy bag over here.

( knock at door )

Come in.

Excuse me, sir.

Colonel Hogan,
you're needed at the hut.

Okay.

Another game later,
Commandant?

Hogan, when will you
ever give up, huh?

Beat you again, Colonel?

Uh-huh.

Sir, you're letting
our side down.

( laughing )

Have Kinch pass
those train schedules

on to headquarters,
huh?

What's up?

Message from London.

One of our agents posing
as a German officer

got himself wounded.

Where is he?

Well, they're going
to bring him into a local hospital.

He's got a lot of
top secret information.

And they want us
to get it?

Right.

The only thing is,
how do we get into a German hospital?

Have to visit
a sick German.

They won't let
a prisoner in to see a Kraut.

They will if it's Klink.

He's not sick.

No, but he's
going to be.

The contact's name
is Major Zimmer.

Recognition code,
one word: Moonglow.

He's got important
information.

London wants it fast.

They always do.

Tell them we'll try.

May one inquire how
you expect to get into that hospital?

Klink's going to be
our ticket, I hope.

Colonel Hogan,
Commandant Klink wants his car.

Help yourself, Schultz,
and good luck to you.

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

NEWKIRK:
Who? Us?

Well, what does
it look like we're doing, Schultz?

We are building
a giant metal Wiener schnitzel.

Oh, come on.

And then we send it to Hitler.

For his birthday.

Ridiculous.

But it's not bad.

Schultz, we're repairing

the bloody commandant's car,
aren't we?

And the commandant
wants it right away!

Well, it's not ready!

Well, he must have it
right away!

His orders.

He can't have it!

What do you mean,
he can't have it?

Donnerwetter!

No, actually it's
wheel bearing trouble.

Commandant Klink
is going to kill me.

It's war, Schultzy.

You should have thought
of that, mate,

before you marched
into Poland.

Schultz!

Trouble.

Trouble,
trouble!

Why isn't
the car ready?

H-Herr Kommandant,
it is them.

They... they...

( stammering ):
they... they didn't!

HOGAN:
Commandant--

the men are sorry.

They're trying
to do a good job and it takes time.

Mm-hmm-- up to
your old tricks again, Hogan, huh?

Me, sir?

Hogan, you'll
never learn.

I'm on to you.

If your purpose
is to delay the German war machine,

it won't work.

Schultz, my motorcycle.

SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

I wouldn't do that, sir.

I mean, it's
in need of repair.

Huh!

It's not safe.

Sir!

Hogan, stop your
foolish little game.

It won't work.

I'm on to your every thought.

When will you learn that
the German mind is superior?

Schultz, let's go.

Don't move, sir.

Don't move.

Hogan, this is your fault.

My fault?

I told you not to take it.

Carter, you'd better
get an ambulance.

I don't need an ambulance,
I'm all right.

All right?

That's the worst case
of whiplash I've ever seen.

Here, does that hurt?

Yes!

Oh, boy, it's not just whiplash,
probably brain damage, too.

Hurry, Carter, hurry!

Why didn't he believe me?

Why?

I'll tell you why--

because he's a stubborn,
mean, rotten, old...

Schultz!

I'm surprised at you.

Aren't you even going
to visit him in the hospital?

I know he'd love
to see a friendly face.

Hmm.

That leaves me out.

I wouldn't waste my time
going to see him

for anything in the world.

Okay, Schultz.

He'll recover, come back here

and remember
you didn't visit him.

So what?

So how are things at Stalingrad?

I'll go and pick up
some nice flowers on my way.

Mind if I come along?

You, Colonel Hogan?

Klink needs us,
Schultz.

I know my visit will mean
a lot-- to both of us.

Just a minute,
Schultz.

Excuse me.

Could you tell me what room
Major Zimmer's in?

Zimmer?

Oh, yes, he's one
of the wounded

on the train arriving
at 10:00 tonight.

10:00 tonight.

Thank you.

Who is Major Zimmer?

Oh, just a friend.

How did you know
he was going to be here?

Letter from home.

But if he was
just wounded...

Air mail.

Oh.

Do I feel feverish to you?

WOMAN:
No, Colonel.

Oh, it's probably
your presence.

You don't mind if
I call you Gerta, do you?

Oh, what a lovely
little hand.

You have visitors,
Colonel.

Visitors?

Herr Kommandant,
Sergeant Schultz reporting for a visit--

one visit.

What are you
doing here?

You're responsible
for my being here.

How are they
treating you, sir?

You feeling well?

You tried to kill me,
that's what you did.

That's cruel, sir,
and I don't deserve it!

You deserve it, you deserve it.

I know we're enemies, but...

well, it's... it's like
Wellington felt about Napoleon--

he fought him,
but he had to admire the mind.

Napoleon?

I know it's wrong, but, in a
way, I've put you on a pedestal.

I had no idea, Hogan.

Colonel, the results
of your tests are in--

all negative.

And Dr. Klaus says
you may leave.

Thank you, Nurse Gerta.

Schultz, check with the orderly

and see what they've done
with my uniform.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

Oh, Herr Kommandant,
if you keep any records,

will you please put me down
for one visit?

You can't leave,
Colonel.

You're not well.

You have a head injury,
whiplash.

You should be
under observation.

Oh, yes.
For days.

Mm-hmm.
Weeks, months.

At least until
10:00 tonight.

I think Dr. Klaus
knows what he's doing.

Which patient
are you talking about?

Klink, Klink--
Wilhelm Klink.

He's in room 216.

Don't give up,
Doctor.

I know these hands
can save him.

Ja, ja, danke.

Klink, huh?

Uh-huh.

Wilhelm Klink.

Wilhelm...
Ja, ja, here.

He's leaving us today.

Oh, it's much too soon.

I don't know how you
could even consider releasing him.

Well, we are not
forcing him out.

If the colonel feels
that he is not ready to leave,

we would insist
that he stay.

Thank you, Dr. Klaus,
thank you.

Hogan!

Why are you trying
to make me stay here, huh?

Why?

No use trying
to outsmart you, but I had to try.

She was desperate.

She begged me.

I... I couldn't refuse.

"She"?

Gerta, your nurse.

I found her crying
in the linen closet.

Poor kid, she heard
you were leaving.

Something about
a woman's tears.

But why would Gerta...?

You underestimate
yourself, Commandant.

She lost her heart.

She did?

Anything... anything
just to spend one evening with you--

to have those
lifelong memories with her forever.

I told her I'd try.

I see.

All that affection
just waiting to be released.

But you know best.

Your uniform,
Herr Kommandant.

Put it in the closet,
Schultz.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

I won't be leaving right away.

♪ Ba-dum, ba-dum, da, da.

Oh, Hogan, you could
have told me that to begin with.

I understand
these things.

Yeah, just be
gentle, sir.

She deserves it.

( chuckling )

What are you
doing here?

Oh, Dr. Klaus wants you
to have a copy of his book.

He's giving them
to everyone in the hospital.

Where's my Nurse Gerta?

Oh, she's off duty.

I'm taking her place.

If you need anything,
just call me.

She gave up hope,
poor kid.

Schultz, bring me my uniform.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

And hurry up about it.

Jawohl.

I can't wear that!

Go back to camp,
get me a fresh uniform,

and take Hogan with you.

Out!

CARTER:
I can't understand it.

How could Klink go
through a crash like that

and not break anything?

Luck of
the Irish.

My fault, I guess--

I just didn't
sabotage that bloody motorcycle enough.

Next time,
try

for a collarbone
or a wrist or something.

I'm a soldier,
not a surgeon!

All right!

Forget it.

We got a problem.

Right.

Klink's leaving the hospital,

so how do we get in there
tonight to contact Zimmer?

It's simple--
get somebody else

admitted to
the hospital.

Somebody else?

Just who did you
have in mind?

I'm busy.

And besides,
I'm too healthy.

Well, who's going to volunteer
to jump off the roof?

Come on, guys, what's
one little broken leg for the war effort?

( chuckles )

Sprained ankle?

( sighs )

Sore throat?

Anybody?

Would you like to pick
your own sickness?

It's no good.

Anyway, that hospital is
only for Luftwaffe officers.

They wouldn't send
any of us there.

LeBeau's right--
we've had it.

Looks like we're dead.

Not dead, maybe a little sick.

What if we picked one of the
doctor's favorite diseases, huh?

We might get his interest.

How's that one sound?

"One of the rare diseases of the
far north is polaris extremis.

"It is found only among Eskimos.

"Symptoms are pain
in nerve endings in fingers,

"craving for greens in the diet,

peripheral motor vascular spasms
in anterior mandible cartilage."

Ho-ho-- sounds a bit naughty,
doesn't it?

It's interesting,
though.

Yeah, I think the butler did it.

A guy could get sick
just reading the symptoms.

All right, all right,
come on, come on-- read it.

This is
the important part.

Right, sir.

"Only known
effective treatment for polaris extremis

is extended bed rest
in hospital."

That's it.

I don't get it.

You don't, but I do.

Kinch, notify London tonight.

LeBeau, get out my old parka.

Newkirk, you're going
to the hospital with me.

You're going to bring
the message back.

Now, let's go over
the symptoms again.

Colonel, are you going to get
that polaris extremis?

That's right, Carter.

Boy, that's tough.

Why?

Well, I don't think your
insurance covers it.

You are fine
now, Colonel,

but take it easy
for the next few days, ja?

Ja, ja, ja.

( knock at door )

Come, come.

Ah, my uniform.

Good, good.

Ah, it's good to see you're
fully recovered, Colonel.

Iron constitution--

clean living does it
every time, Schultz.

Hogan, what are you doing here?

Herr Kommandant,
please, I told him...

I had to come, Colonel.

I found the man responsible
for the motorcycle.

I want him to see
the pain and suffering

caused by his
criminal negligence.

You! In here.

Do you see what you've done?

Well, I've never been
any good, have I?

I've been a bad'n
all me life.

I have a nephew
like him.

It's terrible!

Shut up.

The men hoped you'd give him

severe punishment, sir.

I'll take care of this
at Stalag 13.

We certainly want
to thank you, Doctor,

for all that you've done
for him.

It's nothing.

By the way,
as long as I'm here,

I thought you might...

Eskimo.

Oh, it's a little something
my mother made for me.

Helps fight off the cold.

( gasps )

What is it?

Oh, it's just the usual--

peripheral motor
vascular spasms.

Are you all right now?

Mandible cartilage
kicking up again.

There is a lot of that
going around nowadays.

You know,
I have always

been interested
in Eskimo life.

Ja, I spent three years
in Alaska, near Anchorage.

Really?

Maybe you met
my grandmother.

She was one of
the Anchorage Eskimos.

Ah.

I suppose not--
big country.

Yes, yeah.

You know, I have
written a book

about medicine
in the Arctic.

Oh, really?

Uh, you... you have pain
in your fingertips?

No, it's not a problem,
just... just hangnails.

What was that you said
about mandible cartilages?

Oh, just the usual--
peripheral motor vascular spasms.

It's really not that bad--
I took a couple of aspirin.

( whimpers )

You should drink
plenty of water.

( softly ):
Is it possible?

One moment, please.

Let me see here.

Motor vascular...
mandible cartilages...

Where is it?

Page 87.

Ja, ja.

There it is.

I knew there was something.

Colonel!

You have polaris extremis!

And I thought
he was just hungry.

What is this?

He has got to stay here.

Polaris extremis.

Hogan?

Impossible.

Herr Kommandant,
you should see

his fingers
and his stomach.

And he ate
the doctor's plant.

Oh, he is a very sick man.

Are you sure, Doctor?

Absolutely--
he must not leave.

You know, this is
my very first case of polaris extremis.

Well, if you
really think so.

Ja, ja, ja.

Now, Schultz, you take the
other one, the criminal.

We're going
back to camp.

Colonel, couldn't he stay
with me?

I mean, he's not much, but...
he is one of my kind.

Just in case.

I see absolutely no reason...

I came to be with you,
and now you deny me a friend?

Well, perhaps a few hours.

But that's all!

I am Major Zimmer.

Oh, yes.

Room 216, Major.

Danke.

Zimmer's here, sir.

He's in room 216
just down the hall.

Oh, Colonel Hogan.

Kommandant Klink wants
me to take Newkirk back to camp.

Thank you.

Do you feel better?

Oh, much better.

Much better.

Terrible.

Please, sir,
you've had enough.

Could we be alone for a few
more minutes, Schultz?

Well, I...

I'm making out my will--
it's rather personal.

Oh, your will.

Well.... ten minutes,
hurry up.

Good, good.

Well, how do we get
in Zimmer's room?

The window?

There's no ledge,
I've checked it.

There's got to be a...

( glass tinkling )

Get in bed, quick!

I'm on my way.

Schultz is
out there, sir.

You just can't walk out.

That's right.

Why walk when I can
take the trolley?

Guten Tag.

Fruit juice, Colonel Hogan.

Oh, would you like me
to put your flowers in the water?

( imitating Hogan ):
No, thanks, I'll eat them here.

Oh... oh,
I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's perfectly
all right.

May I help you,
please?

Oh, danke, Sergeant.

Mmm.

Major Zimmer?

Ja?

Here's some fruit juice
for you.

I am your night nurse.

If you need anything,
just ring the bell

and I'll bring it
to you, all right?

Danke.

( door shuts )

Zimmer.

Who are you?

Papa Bear,
your contact.

Code name: Moonglow.

Come on, we haven't got
much time.

All right.

The battleship Tirpitz
is making a run

for the open sea tonight.

If she gets loose
in the Murmansk convoys,

they are finished.

They have got to get
her tonight.

I'm sorry, Colonel Hogan,
but I have to pick up Newkirk,

so if you will...

Where is Newkirk?

Where is Newkirk?!

Newkirk, where are you?!

Where is Newkirk,
Colonel Hogan, please...!

Oh... ( chuckles )

Thank goodness.

( chuckling )

For a minute I thought
you were not here.

Oh, I'm here.

This is me, all right, Schultz.

Good.

( chuckling )

If it's you... where is he?

He who?

He Hogan, that's he...
I mean who.

Where were you,
Schultz?

Fine guard you are.

You came out, I came in,
I didn't see...

Yeah.
How come?

Can Newkirk stay
a little longer?

Absolutely not!

Come on, let's go!

All right, well,
here's the will.

Get it notarized
and send it

to my lawyer in London.

Will do, sir.

KLAUS:
Halt!

This man must not leave.

Your sickness may be contagious.

You are to stay here for
a few days under observation.

Right, it's
a marvelous idea.

We'll start first thing
in the morning.

You must not leave this room,
and that is an order.

( sighs )

Well, that's it,
we've had it.

We've got the bloody
information;

now we can't get it
back to camp.

Are you kidding?

I didn't get polaris
extremis for nothing.

We'll get it back.

How?
Klink.

He got us here
in the first place,

he'll get us home again.

I didn't know you Eskimos
were so clever.

( sighs )

( phone ringing )

Colonel Klink's office.

Hello, Hilda?

This is Colonel Hogan.

It's for me, Colonel.

It's personal.

Yes?

Listen, I want you
to say my name--

not too soft,
not too loud.

Hogan?

We're escaping from
the hospital tonight--

out the window.

I'll send you some nylon
stockings from England.

We're on our way.

( phone line clicks )

I knew, I knew.

I've got him.

All right,
leave it there so they'll see it.

Right.

Herr Kommandant,
it must be a mistake.

Colonel Hogan is
a very sick man.

You watch, they'll come
out of that window.

But, Herr Kommandant,

their room is
on the other side.

Nonsense,
that's the one.

( trash can crashes )

What was that?

A garbage can.

The things you have
to do these days

to make an
unsuccessful escape.

Come on.

( tromping loudly )

( Hogan clears throat loudly )

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

You didn't have
to do it twice!

I didn't do it twice.

You...

Halt!

There they are!

Don't take
another step!

Good try, Hogan,
but not good enough.

Uh... we were just out
taking a walk.

Could we go back
to the hospital?

I don't feel well.

No more!

Oh, you can fool Schultz,
you can fool the doctors,

but you can't
fool me, Hogan.

Your plan failed,
do you hear?

It failed.

You are going back to camp
now, this instant.

How do you like that?

You win again.

How does he do it?
How does he do it?

It's uncanny,
sir, uncanny.

( loudly ):
Did you fix the commandant's car?

LeBEAU:
Boy, did I fix it.

HOGAN:
Good.

Colonel Hogan!

Yes?

Colonel Hogan,
you're not resentful

because I prevented your escape
from the hospital, are you?

No, sir.

You wouldn't try to do anything

to get even, would you?

Never.

But you did know

I was taking a drive
this afternoon...

along the river road...
the steep hills?

Yes, sir.

I've changed
my mind.

No. Changed your mind?

You are taking a drive
this afternoon.

Oh, no.

And you will sit
where I would have been.

Oh... I can't.

I'm restricted
to the motor pool.

The restriction
has been revoked.

Get in.

Schultz, drive!

SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

( horn beeps twice )

Twice around
the park, Schultz.

( car drives away )

I thought you said
you fixed the car.

I did fix it.

It's perfect.

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