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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:17,643 ( theme song playing ) 2 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,845 All right, hold it. Whoever it is, 3 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,722 he's coming through the entrance to the tunnel. 4 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,099 All right, break. 5 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,107 Dubois? 6 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,067 Why did you sneak in this way? 7 00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,193 Boy, you almost got shot. 8 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,237 In the underground, you have to get used to that. 9 00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:11,238 What's up? 10 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:13,281 Colonel, I have a present for you. 11 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,282 ( whistles ) 12 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,283 KINCH: What's that. 13 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,411 Qu'est-ce que c'est que ├ža? 14 00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:20,497 HOGAN: Just what I've always wanted-- a sleeping bag. 15 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,165 This one seems wide awake. 16 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,292 What's in there? A dog and a cat? 17 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,463 Why did you bring him here? 18 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,923 Why didn't you get rid of him outside? 19 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:30,924 Well, I could not do that. 20 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:31,967 He's on our side. 21 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,927 KINCH: Then why is he all tied up? 22 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,346 DUBOIS: Because he does not believe that we are on his side. 23 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,347 Who is he? 24 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,432 He's a Russian pilot. 25 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:39,725 His plane was forced down with engine trouble 26 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,309 in a field about a half a mile from here. 27 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,310 When we went to rescue him, 28 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,105 he fought us like a maniac. 29 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,440 It took eight men to tie him up. 30 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,441 Did you tell him you were friends? 31 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,483 Of course. 32 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,484 But, for him, 33 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,778 anybody who doesn't speak Russian is the enemy. 34 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,029 Well, mon Colonel, 35 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,406 he's going to be your baby now. 36 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,657 Thanks for leaving him on our doorstep. 37 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:56,908 Au revoir, mes amis. 38 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,285 Au revoir. Au revoir. 39 00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,953 All right, let's get him untied. 40 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:02,789 Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it. 41 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,583 Let's make sure he understands we're friendly. 42 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:11,089 ( slowly ): We are friends. Understand? 43 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,966 Allies. 44 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:16,219 Pals. 45 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:19,389 On the same side. 46 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,557 Buddies. 47 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,809 We're with you. 48 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:28,690 ( speaks Russian ) "Friends." 49 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:29,733 Understand? 50 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,152 On the same side. 51 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,488 Yeah, all right. 52 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,906 He'll be okay. Untie him. 53 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,622 Ow! He bit me! 54 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:48,376 First person comes close gets this. 55 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,629 Oh, boy. 56 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,423 Look, comrade, get this straight: 57 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,134 I'm Colonel Hogan, United States Air Force. 58 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,221 Carter, Kinch, American. 59 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,597 LeBeau, French. 60 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,641 Newkirk, English. 61 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:06,228 The men who brought you here are with the underground. 62 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,437 We work with them. 63 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,605 Now, put away the gun. 64 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,941 How do I know you are telling truth? 65 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,359 How do you know we're not? 66 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,444 KINCH: The colonel is leveling with you. 67 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,073 Do I look German to you? 68 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,294 Lieutenant Igor Grygorovich Piotkin. 69 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,963 15th Air Wing, 51st Army. 70 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:35,131 Welcome to Stalag 13. 71 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,133 Kinch. 72 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,927 Hi. 73 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,388 Great pleasure to meet you. 74 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,390 I'll bet you're hungry. 75 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,726 Da. How would you know? 76 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,979 I could tell by the way you bit my thumb. 77 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,708 I never saw a more suspicious man. 78 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,668 Well, he knows we're all right now. 79 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,669 That's right. 80 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,713 But do we know if he's all right? 81 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,756 What are you getting at? 82 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:17,924 Can you think of a better way 83 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,300 to divert suspicion from yourself 84 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,053 than to pretend to be suspicious 85 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,513 of someone else? 86 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,099 You mean you think he's a spy? 87 00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,350 I think we'd better ask him 88 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:30,353 some more questions, just to satisfy ourselves. 89 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,358 Well, I'm not going to be so easy to satisfy. 90 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,947 Well, Igor, how's it going? 91 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,699 Mmm. 92 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,409 How many home runs did Babe Ruth hit 93 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,119 for the world's record? 94 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,372 What? 95 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,459 Who is Betty Grable married to? 96 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,293 What you talk about? 97 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:58,798 Who said, "Come up and see me sometime"? 98 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:09,142 Guess that proves that Curly doesn't know. 99 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:12,812 Carter, all that proves is he isn't an American. 100 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,775 Yeah. That's what it proves, all right. 101 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,320 I hope you fellows haven't forgotten 102 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,654 the big birthday celebration tomorrow. 103 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,739 Of course not. 104 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,657 No, sir. We've been waiting anxiously. 105 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,409 What birthday? 106 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,453 Alexander Graham Bell's birthday. 107 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,454 He's a very famous American. 108 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,331 Never heard him. 109 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,041 He's the man who invented the telephone. 110 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,834 Is not true. 111 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,127 Telephone invented by Russian. 112 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,337 Every schoolchild know this. 113 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,338 American. 114 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,047 Russian. 115 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:39,756 American. 116 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:40,340 Russian. 117 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:41,174 American! 118 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,510 Russian, Russian, Russian! 119 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,095 He's the real McCoy. 120 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,764 Or the real McCoyski. 121 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,850 Igor Grygorovich Piotkin. 122 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,478 Yeah, okay, Iggy. 123 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,980 What are we going to do with him, Colonel? 124 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,023 Try and fix his plane 125 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,526 so he can fly out of here. 126 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:03,238 You are going to fix? 127 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,781 What I know about my plane 128 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,783 is newest, most advanced Russian model. 129 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:07,784 I know, Iggy. 130 00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:08,952 It's exactly the same model 131 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,203 we had two years ago. 132 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:22,799 Did you hear a plane landing last night? 133 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,176 A plane with engine trouble? 134 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,304 Yes, sir, I did. I did, I did, I did, I did. 135 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:29,639 Here it is. At 9:05. 136 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,933 You see, sir, I'm on top of everything. 137 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,059 Did you investigate 138 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,852 to see if it was an enemy plane? 139 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,020 Oh, naturally not. 140 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,190 I thought it was one of our planes. 141 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,609 Because it had engine trouble? 142 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,610 Oh, sir, you know how it is. 143 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,653 So many of our planes come in 144 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,989 all shot up, and you can hear the engine missing... 145 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:49,242 Last night, I did not hear a thing, sir. 146 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,244 A Russian plane was found a half a mile 147 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,162 from this camp. 148 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,163 Oh, was it that close, sir? 149 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:57,292 But the pilot was missing. 150 00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:01,129 Headquarters in Berlin demands he be found right away. 151 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,507 Mm-hmm, oh, I know how unpleasant that can be, sir. 152 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,509 Especially when headquarters 153 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,553 is on your neck all the time. 154 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,389 Oh, I have sympathy for you, sir. 155 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,182 What did you tell them? 156 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,184 That I'm putting you in complete charge 157 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,686 of finding the pilot. 158 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,187 You didn't. 159 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:21,691 I also told them that you will be personally responsible 160 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,359 for the capture of the Russian. 161 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,572 General Burkhalter, you have put me 162 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,700 into a terrible position. 163 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,037 Klink, believe me, you have my sympathy. 164 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,882 IGOR: Colonel! Colonel Hogan! 165 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,216 All right, hold the noise down! 166 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,260 Hold the noise down, Igor! 167 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,054 You want the Germans to hear you? 168 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,055 I just want to know 169 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,639 when my plane will be landing. 170 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:54,974 I must get back to Russia. 171 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,225 There's been a change in plans. 172 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,393 What? 173 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,395 Your plane has been found by the Nazis. 174 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,772 We're going to get you back to England. 175 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,065 I refuse. 176 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,066 I came from Russia. 177 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,567 I am going back to Russia. 178 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,319 How you going to get there, mate? Walk? 179 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,071 How far is it to the Russian front? 180 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,947 It's getting closer every day. 181 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,074 It's still out of the question. 182 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,325 Now, look, Igor, be reasonable. 183 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,242 NEWKIRK: Schultz! 184 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,452 All right, look. 185 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,579 Switch. Switch. 186 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,247 What are you doing?! 187 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,167 Keep your head down! 188 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,628 Colonel Hogan. 189 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,046 Oh, here you are, Colonel. 190 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,672 Did you hear the latest news? 191 00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:29,509 We shot down a Russian plane. 192 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:34,096 Our antiaircraft brought him down from 10,000 feet. 193 00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,973 It was right near the camp. 194 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,391 Pretty good shooting, Schultz. 195 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:38,392 What happened to the pilot? 196 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,437 He got away, but we are going to find him. 197 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,855 Oh, our men our looking for him. 198 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:46,400 The Fuhrer said all the Russians are cowards. 199 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:48,486 They're always on the run. 200 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,487 Reports I here, 201 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,114 they're running the wrong way, Schultz. 202 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,241 What's the matter with him? 203 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,826 Nothing. He just doesn't want to get his hair cut. 204 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,035 ( chuckles ) 205 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,956 Just like a little boy, huh? 206 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,125 One, two, three, four, five, 207 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,962 six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 208 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,510 Colonel Hogan. 209 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,511 Mm-hmm? 210 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,682 There seems to be some irregularity here. 211 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:18,766 HOGAN: Whatever it is, Schultz, 212 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:19,809 it's your imagination. 213 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,018 I have to report. 214 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,979 Just a minute, Schultz. 215 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,313 Let me tell you a story first. 216 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,481 I have no time for stories. 217 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,108 This story you'll be interested in. 218 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,026 It's about a certain German sergeant 219 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,444 who wanted to look good 220 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,572 in front of his commanding officer 221 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:33,864 by making a report on something 222 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,575 he should have ignored. 223 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,369 Now, this sergeant, who, in his barracks, 224 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,831 has 12 pounds of coffee, a dozen pair of nylons-- 225 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,374 which, incidentally, are made in America. 226 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,875 You gave them to me. 227 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,378 Did I mention any names? 228 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,922 Now, the story's about what would happen 229 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:52,091 to this sergeant if the colonel... 230 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,759 Wait. 231 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,094 I'm going to count again. 232 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:59,056 One, two, three, four, five, 233 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,560 six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 234 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,729 You're right. 235 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,690 It was my imagination. 236 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,983 Good. 237 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,198 All right, let's get him down in the tunnel. 238 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,199 Come on! 239 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,201 Nyet! I will not go down there! 240 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:21,037 Iggy, don't force me 241 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,998 to make you see my point of view. 242 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,958 Might I see your point of view? 243 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,504 Here's your hat. Be careful. 244 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,008 Here he comes-- Schultz. 245 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,720 Colonel, I thought it over. 246 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:41,057 I am going to give you back the coffee and the nylons. 247 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,725 If that's the way you want it, Schultz. 248 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:43,893 That's the way. 249 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,227 Now I an going to report. 250 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:46,729 Naturally, you've got your duty to do. 251 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:52,068 Jawohl. One, two, three, four... 252 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,071 five... 253 00:10:56,947 --> 00:11:00,534 six, seven, eight, nine... 254 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,040 Something wrong, Schultz? 255 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,795 I thought... 256 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,171 Never mind. 257 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,298 Now, about the nylons and coffee. 258 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,425 Trouble with you, Colonel Hogan, 259 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,637 is you never know when someone is making a joke. 260 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,222 You were making a joke? 261 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,933 Ja. I was making a ha-ha. 262 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,351 Everything's okay? 263 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:26,769 Ja. Good. 264 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:27,770 Ha-ha. 265 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,063 Ha-ha. 266 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,025 Well, that takes care of Schultz. 267 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,026 Now what about Igor? 268 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,111 There's still a problem. 269 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,529 Go down and bring him up, huh? 270 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,696 Right. 271 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,865 You know, sir, he's not going to settle 272 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,534 for anything less than Russia. 273 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,202 He's going to have to. 274 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,454 We're sending him to England. 275 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,705 Colonel, he's gone. 276 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,457 Gone? 277 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,459 Yeah. He went right out the tunnel entrance. 278 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:51,961 He's going back to Russia 279 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,921 like a homing pigeon-- dead east. 280 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,047 He's not going to get very far 281 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,049 with all those men Klink has searching for him. 282 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,467 Why don't we go out and look for him? 283 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,010 In broad daylight? 284 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,136 Not a chance. 285 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,680 Well, we can't just sit here. 286 00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:03,889 You're right. 287 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,350 Where you going, Colonel? 288 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,352 Sit in Klink's office. 289 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:16,527 Now, your squad will cover this entire area: sector B14. 290 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,864 The other squad will cover this entire area: sector C11. 291 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,490 Check everything and everybody. 292 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,576 I want you to find that Russian pilot. 293 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,703 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 294 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,751 ( phone ringing ) 295 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,795 Yes? Colonel Klink speaking. 296 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,213 Lieutenant Bergman. 297 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,965 Anything new to report? 298 00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,675 Nothing. 299 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,802 No, you can't come here for lunch. 300 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,013 Forget about eating. I'm hungry, too. 301 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,181 Just find that Russian pilot. 302 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:48,517 Looking for a Russian flier? 303 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,019 Yes, I certainly am. 304 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,687 Why don't you put an ad in the paper? 305 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,480 Must be a few of them who aren't busy. 306 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,691 I am looking for a pilot 307 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,526 who landed in this area yesterday. 308 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,820 In other words, I'm looking for a particular pilot. 309 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:00,863 Ah, come on now. 310 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:01,905 Can't be too particular 311 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:02,948 if he landed around here. 312 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,992 Colonel Hogan, are you here for anything special? 313 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,412 Yeah, I wanted to know when you expect the Red Cross packages for my men. 314 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,997 When they get here, you'll get them. 315 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,081 Not sooner. 316 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,541 ( phone ringing ) Sounds fair enough. 317 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,876 Oh, your telephone, sir. 318 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,170 Thank you. 319 00:13:16,211 --> 00:13:18,339 Colonel Klink speaking. 320 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,382 Yes, Berlin. 321 00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:23,385 Lieutenant Huber? 322 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,263 Field Marshal Gruneke's aide. 323 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,516 Sir, it's a pleasure always to... 324 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,269 Yes, sir. We're making a very thorough search 325 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,729 for the Russian pilot. 326 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,440 Of course, sir. As soon as we find him 327 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,900 we'll let you know. 328 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:42,237 And, sir, I'd like to say I have left nothing to chance. 329 00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:44,114 Every detail has been worked out. 330 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,366 ( click ) 331 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,576 Hello? Hello? 332 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,664 These pins-- they aren't the area you're searching in. 333 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,208 They certainly are. 334 00:13:54,249 --> 00:13:56,335 Don't you see the mistake you're... 335 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,087 I'm sorry. It's none of my business. 336 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,798 That's right, Hogan. It's none of your business. 337 00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,091 It's not. 338 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,971 Hogan... come back here. 339 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,265 You called me, sir? 340 00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:13,560 What, uh, were you going to say? 341 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,397 It's really none of my business. 342 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,816 Hogan, as commanding officer here, 343 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,234 it is my business to find out 344 00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:21,693 what's none of your business. 345 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,028 Now, talk. 346 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,114 Well, you've got all your search parties 347 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,740 spread out east of the prison camp. 348 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,492 Why? 349 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:32,538 Because it happens to be in the direction of Russia. 350 00:14:32,579 --> 00:14:34,832 And it is reasonable to assume 351 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:37,126 that a Russian would try to go to Russia. 352 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,794 Put yourself in his place. 353 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:43,423 Would you go in the area in which everyone was looking for you, 354 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,843 or would you think to yourself 355 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:50,639 they'll be looking here, but I'll go here. 356 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,308 The distance is shorter to England. 357 00:14:53,308 --> 00:14:56,353 He can get help from the French underground. 358 00:14:56,395 --> 00:15:00,858 Hogan, I've never heard such nonsense. 359 00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,527 When it comes to military tactics, you're a child. 360 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,196 I'm not trying to compare myself to you, sir. 361 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,656 I should hope not. 362 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,158 Now, that's all. 363 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,128 This is Colonel Klink. 364 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:23,755 Message to all units. 365 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:26,425 Abandon search in all sectors east of the camp. 366 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,095 This is Colonel Klink. 367 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,763 Cover all areas west of the camp. 368 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:35,893 Unit commanders report to me every 15 minutes. 369 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,312 This is Colonel Klink. I... 370 00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:41,690 No, Lieutenant Bergman, forget about lunch. 371 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:45,360 I just want you to find that Russian pilot. 372 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,696 You said what to Klink? 373 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,907 I just gave him Horace Greely's advice. 374 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:51,283 Who is Horace Greely? 375 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,826 A great man who had a wonderful plan 376 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,369 for relieving congestion in New York. 377 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,454 ( knocking ) 378 00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:56,705 The tunnel. 379 00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,165 Hey, maybe Igor's come back. 380 00:15:58,206 --> 00:16:00,250 If he has, it's the first good sense he's shown. 381 00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:14,723 Colonel Hogan, will you please keep your pigeon at home? 382 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:15,932 Did he give you much trouble? 383 00:16:15,974 --> 00:16:18,310 Trouble? He's a one-man Russian front. 384 00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,561 We'll keep an eye on him this time. 385 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:20,729 And, if he gets away again, 386 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,481 I'm going to turn him over to the Germans in self-defense. 387 00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:23,398 All right, Dubois. 388 00:16:23,398 --> 00:16:24,983 Ta-ta. 389 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,860 You've been a naughty boy, Igor. 390 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:30,364 Colonel, as long as you keep me against my will, 391 00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:31,865 I am prisoner. 392 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,325 But you cannot watch forever. 393 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,160 I am not going to England. I go to Russia! 394 00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,496 What's so special about Russia? 395 00:16:37,537 --> 00:16:40,332 Colonel, you have never been there? 396 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,334 Never. 397 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,670 You do not know what you are missing. 398 00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:45,837 Oh, really? Tell me. 399 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,255 I'd love to hear the story. 400 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,590 Will be pleasure. 401 00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,842 Russia is most wonderful country. 402 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,344 Is it big? 403 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,180 Ten times bigger than United States. 404 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,765 Most beautiful rivers. 405 00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:00,769 The Volga is longest river in entire world. 406 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:04,356 Cities? Moscow... 407 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,025 Kinch, I want you to hook up a telephone wire 408 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,652 from Klink's office to mine. 409 00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:11,279 I'll have it rigged for you in a half hour. 410 00:17:11,279 --> 00:17:12,572 Igor going to England? 411 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,282 Nope. Russia. 412 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,622 But, in 1925, shipping tonnage 413 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,250 on Volga increased by ten percent, 414 00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:26,670 or 176,000 tons more. 415 00:17:26,711 --> 00:17:29,297 At same time, wheat crops, in spite of... 416 00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,515 We're all set. 417 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,142 We're all hooked into Klink's office. 418 00:17:40,183 --> 00:17:42,602 Now all I got to do is attach this wire to this phone. 419 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,313 So you covered all the areas? 420 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,439 Twice? 421 00:17:46,481 --> 00:17:47,983 Well, there's no use continuing. 422 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,776 Have all the units report to camp at once. 423 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,155 Schultz. 424 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,160 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 425 00:17:58,201 --> 00:18:00,036 The search is off. 426 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,204 Have all... 427 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,498 ( phone rings ) 428 00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:04,958 Yes? Colonel Klink speaking. 429 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,085 This is Lieutenant Huber. 430 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,879 Why haven't you reported to me? 431 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,757 Field Marshal von Gruneke is very displeased. 432 00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:15,218 Are you going on with the search for the Russian pilot? 433 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,346 Of course, Lieutenant Huber. 434 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,974 Yes. Yes. 435 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,435 Oh, I wouldn't dream of giving it up. 436 00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:26,146 Our men are working all around the clock. 437 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,482 ( crank phone ringing ) 438 00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:30,901 This is Colonel Klink speaking. 439 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,027 The search is on. 440 00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:35,196 Have all units report back to the field. 441 00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:36,573 No, Lieutenant Bergman, 442 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,491 I do not want to hear about lunch, 443 00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,993 nor dinner either. 444 00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:44,956 How do you like this Lieutenant Huber for gall? 445 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,666 All right, I suppose. 446 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,418 All right? It's an outrage. 447 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,503 "Why haven't you reported to me?" 448 00:18:50,545 --> 00:18:52,547 "Sloppy, inefficient command." 449 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,716 Imagine, a young lieutenant 450 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,552 talking like that to me-- a colonel. 451 00:18:57,552 --> 00:19:00,055 That's not nice! 452 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,389 I don't have to take that. 453 00:19:01,389 --> 00:19:03,475 If the field marshal finds out about this, 454 00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:04,559 he will not approve. 455 00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:07,562 A field marshal understands discipline. 456 00:19:07,562 --> 00:19:12,400 He would put that fresh Lieutenant Huber in his place. 457 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,070 And I'll see to it that he finds out about it. 458 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,489 Yes, he'll find out about it. 459 00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:19,491 Get me Field Marshal von Gruneke's headquarters 460 00:19:19,532 --> 00:19:22,535 in Berlin at once. It's most important. 461 00:19:22,577 --> 00:19:24,245 Schultz, what are you standing around for? 462 00:19:24,287 --> 00:19:25,580 Don't you have something to do?! 463 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,248 Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. 464 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:30,794 KLINK: Yes, tell him 465 00:19:30,835 --> 00:19:33,880 it is a matter concerning Lieutenant Huber. 466 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:34,923 I'll wait. 467 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,591 Huber? 468 00:19:36,591 --> 00:19:37,926 That wouldn't be the Huber 469 00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:40,470 whose uncle is Field Marshal von Gruneke, would it? 470 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,722 His uncle?! 471 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,766 Field Marshal von Gruneke? 472 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,768 Wrong number. 473 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,856 What do you know about Lieutenant Huber? 474 00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:53,233 Oh, he's very well-known. 475 00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,443 His sister's married to Goebbel's cousin. 476 00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:59,155 His mother went to school with Goering's wife-- her best friend. 477 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,616 Goering? Oh, but most important, 478 00:20:01,616 --> 00:20:04,744 do you know who everyone says his father is? 479 00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:08,957 But Hitler is not married! 480 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,667 So what? 481 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,961 That would make Huber... 482 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,171 So's his old man. 483 00:20:18,466 --> 00:20:20,468 Was then five-year plan introduced-- 484 00:20:20,468 --> 00:20:23,054 Actually, was only four and one quarter years. 485 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,848 Oh, thank goodness. 486 00:20:24,889 --> 00:20:25,974 Factory production, 487 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,934 agriculture quotas were increased. 488 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,103 The workers sang as they worked. 489 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,187 What about sleep? 490 00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:32,981 What a marvelous idea. 491 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:36,317 Six hours was found to be enough by our scientists. 492 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,279 As we cut our sleep, we increased working hours. 493 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,614 The first year was glorious success. 494 00:20:41,656 --> 00:20:43,199 Let me give you figures. 495 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:44,868 Now, one would never expect... 496 00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:47,287 Colonel Klink, this is Lieutenant Huber. 497 00:20:47,328 --> 00:20:49,080 Why haven't I heard from you? 498 00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,331 What about the Russian? 499 00:20:50,331 --> 00:20:52,208 We haven't found him yet but, believe me, 500 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,169 it'll be just a matter of an hour or two. 501 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:56,212 Colonel, we don't want excuses. 502 00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:57,338 We want results. 503 00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:59,591 Believe me, sir, we're doing everything we can. 504 00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:01,384 That's not good enough. 505 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,052 I'm in your area now. 506 00:21:03,094 --> 00:21:05,096 If we don't get some action soon, 507 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,891 I'm coming in to take personal charge myself. 508 00:21:07,932 --> 00:21:09,350 That won't be necessary, sir. 509 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:10,351 He can't get away. 510 00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:11,686 We'll find him. 511 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:14,564 For your sake, I hope so. 512 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,774 By the way, were you the one 513 00:21:16,816 --> 00:21:20,486 who called my uncle, Field Marshal von Gruneke 514 00:21:20,528 --> 00:21:21,863 to talk about me? 515 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,198 Why, no, sir. 516 00:21:23,239 --> 00:21:25,200 I haven't been near my phone. 517 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,620 I must have some action or heads will roll. 518 00:21:28,661 --> 00:21:30,371 Yes, sir. 519 00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:34,876 He's got to be the son. 520 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:38,546 Igor, we're going to get you back to Russia. 521 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,215 That is wonderful. 522 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:41,549 But you'll have to trust me. 523 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,718 Do whatever I say, no matter what you think. 524 00:21:43,718 --> 00:21:45,803 I will. Fine. 525 00:21:45,845 --> 00:21:47,222 Yes? Klink speaking. 526 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,557 This is Field Marshal von Gruneke. 527 00:21:49,557 --> 00:21:51,017 Oh, Field Marshal von Gruneke. 528 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,894 Oh, I'm sorry, but we still haven't... 529 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,771 I just wanted to let you know 530 00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:58,066 we have captured the Russian flier here in Berlin. 531 00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,777 You did? In Berlin? 532 00:22:00,818 --> 00:22:03,571 But, sir, your aide, Lieutenant Huber... 533 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:06,741 Don't mention Lieutenant Huber's name to me! 534 00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:09,160 He is a disgrace. 535 00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:10,495 But he's your nephew, sir. 536 00:22:10,536 --> 00:22:11,913 Not anymore! 537 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,207 I have disowned him. 538 00:22:14,248 --> 00:22:17,919 He stole money from the officer's mess. 539 00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:19,045 Is that so? 540 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:20,964 And now he has disappeared. 541 00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:22,256 He's a deserter. 542 00:22:22,298 --> 00:22:24,384 But, the last time he called, 543 00:22:24,425 --> 00:22:26,469 he said he was in this area. 544 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,097 If you see him, you will have him shot at once. 545 00:22:29,138 --> 00:22:31,182 Yes, sir, I'll make a note of it: shoot Huber. 546 00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,935 Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. 547 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:35,937 That's too good for him. 548 00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,772 I have a better idea. 549 00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:39,983 Yes? 550 00:22:40,024 --> 00:22:42,110 Yes? 551 00:22:42,151 --> 00:22:43,695 Oh, that's perfect. 552 00:22:43,736 --> 00:22:45,321 Oh, yes, sir. That's much better. 553 00:22:45,446 --> 00:22:47,990 Oh, yes, sir. 554 00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:53,621 Igor, you'll soon be on your way, 555 00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:55,081 so we better say good-bye here. 556 00:22:58,334 --> 00:23:00,128 Good-bye. 557 00:23:00,169 --> 00:23:03,464 I guess now we're engaged. 558 00:23:03,506 --> 00:23:05,091 Forget it. Come on. 559 00:23:06,759 --> 00:23:09,178 HOGAN: This is Colonel Klink's office right here. 560 00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:10,513 Okay, Lieutenant Huber... 561 00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:13,474 Ah, Lieutenant Huber, come in, come in, come in. 562 00:23:13,516 --> 00:23:16,352 I cannot tell you how I've been looking forward 563 00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,812 to this little meeting. 564 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,355 You will never guess 565 00:23:19,397 --> 00:23:22,233 who I spoke to a little while ago. 566 00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:25,027 KLINK: Hmm? You don't want to guess? 567 00:23:25,069 --> 00:23:27,697 Your uncle, the field marshal. 568 00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,657 Oh, he's very unhappy. 569 00:23:29,699 --> 00:23:33,494 You know, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. 570 00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:35,663 Stealing. 571 00:23:35,705 --> 00:23:37,665 And a deserter, too. 572 00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:41,002 Hard to believe a field marshal's nephew 573 00:23:41,043 --> 00:23:42,587 could sink so low. 574 00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:44,630 I suppose you're going to have him shot, sir? 575 00:23:44,672 --> 00:23:46,340 KLINK: No. 576 00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:48,509 We have something much better in store 577 00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:50,052 for the young lieutenant. 578 00:23:50,094 --> 00:23:51,471 Guard! 579 00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:58,561 Take this man to the transportation officer in town 580 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:00,480 and give him this order. 581 00:24:00,521 --> 00:24:01,689 You 582 00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:04,025 are being sent to the Russian front. 583 00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:05,860 No, Colonel, not that! 584 00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:08,529 Yes, that's the place for him-- the Russian front. 585 00:24:08,571 --> 00:24:10,072 Take him away. 586 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:17,205 Russian front? 587 00:24:17,246 --> 00:24:18,873 That's what I call justice. 588 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:22,335 Even better than that, 589 00:24:22,376 --> 00:24:25,630 it's getting even. 590 00:24:25,671 --> 00:24:27,798 You know, it would be a funny thing if, um... 591 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,008 What? 592 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:32,011 If he really wanted to go to the Russian front. 593 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,221 Ja. 594 00:24:33,262 --> 00:24:35,014 ( both chuckling ) 595 00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:36,849 That would be funny. 596 00:24:36,899 --> 00:24:41,449 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41149

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