All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e04 Sergeant.eng

( theme song playing )

Hammelburg has
been chosen

as the ideal
location

for the new
factory--

proximity
to Dusseldorf

and a good
supply of power.

An excellent choice,
Major Hochstetter.

I'm so glad
you approve.

This plant will produce

a new high-velocity,
armor-piercing shell.

This is top secret.

The entire area
around here,

including Stalag 13,
must be secure.

And so it is.

It is not!

In the last year,

there have been more acts
of sabotage around this camp

than any other place
in Germany. Why?

But there has
never been

a successful escape
from Stalag 13.

You keep saying that,
Yes.

but it is not an answer
to my question. No.

But the Gestapo
will get the answer.

Send in
Colonel Hogan.

Gentlemen. You sent
for me, Commandant?

I sent for
you, Hogan.

Major Hochstetter has been
conducting an investigation.

Hogan, in the
last 12 months,

in the area here, three bridges
have been blown up,

two trains destroyed,
a research laboratory destroyed,

a small arms
factory burnt down,

and at least 12 officers and men
of the Wehrmacht

have disappeared completely.

How would you explain this?

Just hasn't been
a good year.

Hogan, all of these acts
of sabotage have taken place

within a short distance
of this camp. Why?

Search me.

That, Colonel Hogan,

is exactly what
I intend to do--

search you and every
inch of Stalag 13.

Well, gentlemen,
if that's all,

I'll be on my way.

You are most anxious
to get out of here.

Well, if there's
gonna be a search,

I don't know about you guys,
but I've got things to hide.

Major, your boys
are ruining the place.

Right. It was an eyesore
before he started.

You're making a bleedin'
wreck out of it.

I think I like it
better as a wreck.

Our genial landlord
isn't gonna be happy.

Go right ahead, Major.

CARTER:
Hey, what are doing with my mattress?

Hey, leave it alone!

You're ruining it.

I'm reporting this
to the Red Cross.

Aha.

The first piece of evidence.

Hey, that's mine!

Easy, Carter, easy.

Ah! That's of no interest.

Depends on how long
you've been away from home.

( thumps echo )

Aha.

( speaks German )

( thumps echo )

It's hollow under this stove.

There's a tunnel there.

Impossible.

Of course.

That's a terrible
place for a tunnel.

Who put a tunnel here?

( thumping, no echo )

LeBeau.

I'm sorry, Colonel.

I lost the beat.

Klink, see to it
that this man is punished.

Two days in solitary
confinement.

Give him three days
and some music lessons.

Aha!

That appears to be
a homemade radio.

Yes, a radio.

Most ingenious.

Is this what you use

to receive messages
from outside?

No comment.

Answer the Major's questions.

Never mind.

( yells )

( laughter )

"Sorry, no radio."

Klink, you are the
Commandant here.

Do you allow this
sort of thing?

The men responsible
for this will be confined

to barracks for two weeks.

That's cruel
and inhuman punishment.

Klink, a German
officer has been insulted.

All potato rations are cut
in half for ten days.

That's a terrible thing to do.

Do you consider this
adequate punishment,

Commandant?

The Ping-Pong tournament
is canceled.

Now, that's the worst blow
of all.

We have turned the place
inside out

and found nothing.

That alone is suspicious.

The Commandant
of Stalag 13--

he doesn't
know anything?

Fraulein, you've asked
the question

and answered it
at the same time.

No, I am convinced
that the only way

we will get the information is
by working from the inside.

I agree.

Fraulein Mueller,

you are one
of the most experienced agents

we have
in the Geheimstaatspolizei.

I am relying on you.

I will do my best, Herr Major.

( chuckles )

Now, this man is one
of the guards at Stalag 13.

It is possible
he has information

without even knowing
he has it.

Your mission is
to gain his confidence,

get him interested in you,
make him talk.

It should not be
too difficult.

This one looks stupid.

Why not? He studied
under Colonel Klink.

( instrumental music plays )

Wine, bitte.

Danke.

Excuse me.

Oh.

Danke, Lieutenant.

( chuckles )

Not Lieutenant.
Sergeant.

Ah, but still
a leader of men.

Who? Me?

A leader of men
and a, uh, charmer of women.

Charmer of...

( chuckles )

women?

Nobody ever called me that,
not even my mother.

But sometimes mothers
don't know their children.

Mine did.

Whenever I came into the house,
she hit me.

You were a naughty boy.

No, just because I was there.

Tell me about
it, Lieutenant.

Uh-uh, not lieutenant--
sergeant.

Sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

If you would know me better,
you would realize...

Ooh.

Oh, blimey.

If I cook,
why should I be on KP?

You're closest
to the kitchen.

Excuse me.

From the underground, sir.

"Sending Kirk.
Usual place.

23:00 hours."

All right,
Carter, Newkirk,

go out and
bring him in

through
the tunnel.

Right.
Right.

Let's hope Kirk
has the information we want.

Yeah, I'd like to know

why Major Hochstetter
suddenly is so interested

in little old Stalag 13.

High-velocity shells.

That is our information,
Colonel.

They have brought the workers
from as far as Berlin.

Security. That accounts
for the Gestapo being so jumpy.

They gave us
a right old going over.

They almost tore my picture
of Rita Hayworth.

Well, they did.

Once they start
production,

they'll tighten
security even more.

I'd like to get a shot at it
before they get underway.

It is about a mile from town
on the north side.

The road is here.

That looks like a tough one.

Gonna use demolition
packs, sir?

I don't know.

What's on this side
of the building?

Storage.

Detonators
for the high-velocity shells,

explosives and oil
for the factory machines.

If we blew that,
the whole plant would go up.

They could never stop it.

Okay. Now, if we can get
into the woods...

They have patrols.

They always do, but,
if we can get close enough

to toss a couple
of hand grenades

into the side of the building,

Fourth of July'll be
a little early this year.

It'll be great, huh?

Carter, how we fixed
for grenades?

Are you kidding?

I got about six
of the most beautiful

potato mashers you've ever seen.

Carter...

Anytime you're ready, boy.

Sir.

Okay, that's it.

Unless anybody has any better
ideas, that's the plan.

Just one thing missing--

we need a nice little diversion.

What'd you have
in mind, sir?

We need something to lead
the Krauts away from us.

And from our people, too.

HOGAN:
Let's take another look at that map.

Hey, that smells
great, LeBeau.

I love potato soup.

Potato soup.
That's ragu, you idiot.

Oh. Back where
I come from,

ham and eggs
are a delicacy.

* Guten Abend,
guten Abend to you. *

The door.

Ah, the door.

* I close the door

* I close the door. *

( humming )

Pretty happy
tonight, Schultz.

Why not?

I was dancing,
dancing, dancing...

NEWKIRK:
Who with?

Corporal Langenscheidt?

Nein. With my Eva in town, ah.

Everybody stopped to watch us.

They had to.

There was no room
left to dance.

Oh, what a beautiful couple
we made.

Beauty and the Beast.

* Ra, ra, ra, ra *

* La, la...

Ooh, you ought to fix
the hole in the ground.

Someone might fall in
and hurt himself.

Yeah, we'll get around
to it, Schultz.

* Ra, ra, ra, ra... *

Ah, the moon and the stars,
and the stars and the moon.

Ah, guten Abend, my friends,
and schlafen Sie gut.

* And pleasant dreams *

* Schlafen Sie gut *

* And pleasant... *

He seems
depressed.

Schultz dancing?

In war,
anything can happen.

But not that.

For Pete's sake,

he didn't even notice
the tunnel.

Yeah, he's
round the bend.

I think I'll have a talk
to Schultz tomorrow.

I'm a little concerned.

Why, Colonel?

I think Schultz is in love.

( humming )

Schultz?

A little present
from the boys.

Ooh, Amerikanisch cigarette
for me?

Trade 'em in
for a castle

on the Rhine
if you want.

Danke, nein.

I'm going to smoke them
on my date tonight.

Another date?
The same girl?

Of course.
I'm no butterfly.

Sounds serious.
Where'd you meet her?

At the hofbrau.

She let me pick her up.

Old irresistible
Schultz.

You son of a gun.

I had just got a haircut,

and I must have
smelled very good.

Yeah. That's why you've
been so happy lately, huh?

Colonel Hogan, I
think I'm in love.

Love is for civilians, Schultz.

Is, uh...
is it local talent?

No. She's new in town.

Oh, that's the best kind.

Pretty?

( speaking German )

Probably a big fan
of the Fuhrer's.

Yeah, she thinks
Hitler is a great man.

Yeah, that figures.

She know
you're stationed out here

at old Casa Klink?

Oh, yeah, and
she's so nice.

She's interested

about everything.

She asks
so many questions.

Mm-hmm.
That is nice.

Where are you
taking her tonight?

To the hofbrau,
where we always go.

Good, good.

Well, good
luck, Schultz.

Danke.

And remember,
all the world loves a lover.

Oh, is that so?

Well, I'm not sure.

It's been so long
since I've been one.

* Ra, ra-ra, ra-ra... *

I was right.

The blimp is in love.

With another
blimp?

Good-looking woman.

Brand-new in town.

She keeps asking questions
about what's going on here.

Gestapo.

Even money bet.

We may be able
to use her.

Carter?
Mm-hmm.

You're going
into town tonight.

I am?
To the hofbrau.

I want you to find out
what you can

about Schultz's girlfriend.

Why me?

Well, you look more
like a German

than the rest of us.

Well, that's
a fine thing

for an officer
to say about an enlisted man.

That really is.

Any trouble?

No, fine.
Good, good.

LeBEAU:
Hi.

What'd you
find out?

Well, I followed them
after they left the hofbrau.

They were holding hands.

It was kind of cute,
you know?

Then Schultz
kissed her good night.

And then Schultz wanted
to do some more kissing,

but I don't think
she wanted to.

You know how girls are
sometimes...

Carter.

Yeah.

Well, after Schultz left,
I followed her.

And guess where she went?

Right into Gestapo Headquarters
in Hammelburg.

I knew it.

That's good
enough for me.

Leave it
to Schultz.

Falls for
Poor slob.a phony.

This could work
out very nicely.

Newkirk, we need some Gestapo
uniforms for the underground.

Good as done, sir.

LeBeau.
Yeah?

Tell Kinch to
get on the radio.

I need Kurt here
for a briefing

soon as possible.

Right, Colonel.

What's the plan?

Try to blow
that factory

and lay it back
on the Gestapo.

Nonsense.
You mean to tell me

this is the most information
you could receive?

Schultz is sergeant
of the guard at Stalag 13.

Are you trying to tell me

he doesn't know what's going on
in his own camp?

In my opinion, there is nothing
to be gained from this contact.

I am not interested
in your opinion, Fraulein.

Schultz is our only lead.

You will continue to see him,

and you will make every effort
to gain information from him.

Understood?

Understood, Herr Major.

How's it going
with the girlfriend, Schultz?

She seems to like me,

but I'm not getting
anywhere with her.

So, I go into town
to get her a present.

Maybe she's just shy.

So am I, but I fight it.

I don't understand women.

Nobody does, Schultz,
until they're married,

and then it's
too late.

I know.

You know, women
like anything

that's... unusual,
different, mysterious.

What's so mysterious
about me?

( grunts ):
This is it.

Say, you might tell her

that you work for
counterintelligence.

You're a captain
in the Gestapo--

something like that.

Ja. When we first met,
she called me Lieutenant.

See? She's an easy sale.

When are you going
to see her again?

Tomorrow night at the hofbrau.

Captain of Counterintelligence.

You think
she actually would believe me?

Look, love is blind.

If you're lucky, it's also deaf.

Maybe I try it.

( chuckles )

But I hate to tell a lie
to a girl.

Why not? Everybody else does.

Tallyho, lover.

Thank you, Colonel.

All right,
the fix is in.

We move
tomorrow night.

Uniforms going
to be ready?

They are, sir.

Kinch, get on
the radio to Kurt

and give him the word.

Right, Colonel.

The old barrage balloon
looks a bit worried.

You would be too,
if you were just made

a captain in
counterintelligence.

You are not
talking very much.

You don't seem
to be yourself tonight, darling.

I'm not myself.

I'm somebody else.

Really?

Captain Felix Schaufhausen,
Gestapo Counterintelligence.

What?

It's hard to believe,
isn't it?

Captain Felix Sch-ch...

A-Are you serious?

Gestapo is always serious.

( sighs )

Why didn't you
tell me this before?

I didn't know it myself
until yesterday.

I mean, I mean,
I didn't decide

to tell you
until yesterday.

Well, what are
you doing in this sergeant's uniform?

Just
counterintelligizing.

This is very
interesting.

It, uh, puts our
relationship on a different basis.

Ja, Eva? Oh, that's won...

Sergeant Hans Schultz,
Fraulein Eva Mueller,

you are under arrest.

Wh... Us?
What are you talking about?

You will come with us
to Gestapo Headquarters.

You must be mistaken.

We were just sitting here
having a little wine

and telling a few lies.

You have been under observation
for weeks,

trying to get military
information from this man.

From me? I don't know
any military information.

All right, I will go

to Gestapo Headquarters
with you.

But I warn you,
you will regret this.

Take her to the car.

If she makes
a move to escape, use your gun.

I will take care
of this man.

Sh-Sh-She is a spy?

Unquestionably.

Shh... and I told her I'm a spy.

Please, please let me go.

I'm loyal to the Fuhrer.

I'm loyal to anyone.

Well...

I'm stationed
at Stalag 13.

You can get me there anytime,
night and day, 24-hour service.

All right. Use the rear door.

Go immediately to Stalag 13.

Danke!

Report to
your commanding officer--

full details.

Jawohl!

Heil Hitler!

Oh, absolutely.

Heil Hitler.

Can you imagine,
Colonel Hogan? A spy!

That's what I've
always said, Schultz.

You can't trust
women in wartime.

In peacetime, either.

I also said that.

They took her to Gestapo
Headquarters, huh?

For questioning.

Well...

if they want you to report

to the commandant's office,
Schultz,

you'd better do it.

Please, Colonel Hogan,
could you come with me?

Me? Why?

You could tell them

I was interested in the spy
for kissing purposes.

I don't want
to get involved.

This is an inter-
Kraut matter.

Please, Colonel Hogan.

( sighs )

Oh, all right.

I'll see
what I can do.

Wait for me by the
commandant's office.

Danke.

LeBeau.

Yeah?

Watch the door.
Right.

Carter.
Yeah.

Got the grenades?

All set, Colonel.

Good.
Newkirk?

Yes, sir.

Kinch.

Right.

All right, wait until
you're in position.

You know what to do.

Right, sir.

Is your identification
in here?

Would you mind
if I borrow it, luv?

Mmm!

Mmm, you're a real darling,
you are. Ta-ta.

Let's go, let's go.

Right.

LeBeau, keep your
eyes on Mata Hari, eh?

Oui, mon Colonel.

What are your orders
in case of trouble?

Don't worry; she
can't hurt you.

She's tied up.

And how long
did you know this woman?

Almost two weeks,
Herr Kommandant.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And were you romantically
involved with her?

I fall in love very fast.

It's war, sir.

Everything's speeded up.

Silence!

We have only your
word for this.

He's telling
the truth, Major.

He came to me
for advice.

Schultz, why didn't you come
to your commanding officer?

You know my door is always open
when my men have problems.

I needed good advice.

Herr Kommandant, I mean,

you are so busy with the war.

Schultz, you dummkopf.

You talked about Stalag 13
to a stranger?

I don't have many friends.

You're a fool.

And what's worse,
you're a fool's idea of a fool.

Yes, sir.

Schultz, I'm going
to break you for this.

I will have you march your post
for the rest of the war.

You can't blame him, sir,

for falling into the hands
of a spy.

I'm going
to blame anybody...

"Spy"?

You will march your post
in the next war, too.

Colonel, the woman
is not a spy.

Eva Mueller is
one of our agents.

Her mission is to check
security in Stalag 13.

But Herr Major,
the Gestapo arrested her.

What?

I gave no such orders.

Nobody tells him anything.

NEWKIRK:
Ready? One, two, three.

( explosions )

( more explosions, gunfire )

The new factory
was blown up? Sabotaged?

No.

Burning out of control?
Completely...

Heil Hitler.

Oh, what a shame.

How is this possible?

It's possible, Major.

One of the guards

found a handbag
near the factory.

Oops.

It contained
identification

for Fraulein Eva Mueller,
member of the Gestapo.

Don't look now, Major,

but your Mata
Hari is showing.

Obviously, Schultz's girlfriend
is a double agent.

No, no.

Major Hochstetter!

You would do very well
to protect your own security

instead of worrying
about Stalag 13.

I will find that woman

if I have to turn
Germany inside out!

( laughing )

I'll deal with you later.

Eh, Herr Kommandant,
please.

Silence!

Take it easy on him, Colonel.

All he did was go out
with a girl a couple of times.

That's right.

Besides,
the Gestapo's off your back.

All right.

I'll, uh,
overlook it this time.

Danke.

He's all heart.

And you will not fall in love
with anybody

until this war is over.

That's an order, understood?

Understood.

Don't worry, Schultz.

You won't have long to wait.

We'll have you Germans whipped
in no time.

I certainly hope
you're right.

Schultz!

Now, tomorrow night,
this kind gentleman's

going to take you
out of here,

and you'll
be on your way

to a nice P.O.W. camp
in England.

You'll have company
all the way, Fraulein.

And if you make
one little mistake,

you'll miss the Gestapo
reunion picnic after the war.

Compris?

Compris.

How's it going,
hot lips?

Colonel Hogan,
I would like

to thank you
for helping me.

Everything's taken care of,
Colonel.

Thanks, LeBeau.

What does he mean
by that?

Oh, he's just doing
his part to keep you away from women.

But will women
keep away from me?

I have nothing
to worry about.

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