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1
00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:10,576
Go!
2
00:00:10,609 --> 00:00:14,780
(exhales)
Tribute song...
3
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:18,151
Tribute song...
4
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,687
Tri... bute
5
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,825
so... ng... guh.
6
00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,360
This shouldn't be that hard.
7
00:00:27,393 --> 00:00:29,162
I mean, we spent years
in the studio
8
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,696
with one of the best ever
to do it.
9
00:00:30,729 --> 00:00:33,066
I mean, granted,
we weren't the ones doing it.
10
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,802
But I always feel I get more out
of watching than doing.
11
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,470
There's something
about doing
12
00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:39,672
that makes me go,
"Uh, never mind." (chuckles)
13
00:00:39,705 --> 00:00:41,140
But, like,
when it comes to watching,
14
00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:42,775
I feel like I let it
wash over me, you know?
15
00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:44,777
-First things first, lyrics.
-Mm.
16
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,779
We got to come up
with the best lyric
17
00:00:46,812 --> 00:00:49,315
to perfectly honor
our best friend.
18
00:00:49,348 --> 00:00:52,652
Or... do we start with music?
19
00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:55,121
You know what I mean?
A hook? A bridge?
20
00:00:55,154 --> 00:00:58,124
-Like-like, all that good stuff.
-That's the age-old question,
21
00:00:58,157 --> 00:01:00,358
-music or lyrics?
-Oh, all right,
22
00:01:00,392 --> 00:01:02,462
-maybe the beat goes like...
-Okay, hit me.
23
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:05,230
(beatboxing)
24
00:01:05,263 --> 00:01:07,767
(gasping, coughs)
25
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,768
Ah. N-Never mind.
26
00:01:09,802 --> 00:01:11,471
Oh, you're done?
27
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:13,306
All right, shut the fuck up
then real quick.
28
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:15,741
Let me spit something.
29
00:01:15,774 --> 00:01:19,378
♪ I can't believe
you made me grieve ♪
30
00:01:19,411 --> 00:01:22,181
♪ Here's a list of some
of my pet peeves ♪
31
00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:24,550
♪ When Stevie Wonder
sits front row ♪
32
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:27,220
♪ When Brandon Lee died
filming "The Crow" ♪
33
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,655
♪ My flow is disgusting
like Jim Crow ♪
34
00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:31,290
♪ Yuck. ♪
35
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:32,491
How's that?
36
00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:33,893
Couple things.
37
00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:33,893
Uh-huh?
38
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:35,661
Don't rhyme "crow" with "crow,"
39
00:01:35,694 --> 00:01:37,864
never mention Jim Crow
40
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,899
and am I detecting an accent?
41
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,568
Okay. What did you write
down for my first rap?
42
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:43,903
I didn't get any of that.
43
00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:46,139
Plus, we're out
of napkins and ink.
44
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,740
We need supplies.
45
00:01:47,773 --> 00:01:50,542
I know this fax machine
is not a necessity, but...
46
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:52,544
I mean, I'd hate
to need it and not have it.
47
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:53,913
You know?
48
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:53,913
Right?
49
00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:56,849
AGNES:
Ronnie, is that you?
50
00:01:56,882 --> 00:01:59,719
No! Shut the fuck up!
51
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:02,321
Shh, shh, shh.
52
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:13,266
Have a little bit of OCD so I
like my workplace to be just so.
53
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,901
Yeah, I'm probably
even more OCD.
54
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,203
If I hear the word "OCD"
I have to say it.
55
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:20,339
That's crazy because if
I even hear the word "OCD,"
56
00:02:20,372 --> 00:02:23,876
I have to say it five times,
so OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD.
57
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:26,512
OCD.
58
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:26,512
OCD, OCD,
OCD, OCD, OCD.
59
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:27,846
I feel like now that
I've told you this,
60
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:28,881
you're doing it on purpose.
61
00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:30,382
OCD.
62
00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:30,382
Why are you doing...?
63
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,718
OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD.
Why are you doing this?
64
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:36,189
OCD.
65
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:36,189
OCD, OCD, OCD,
OCD, OCD. Stop it.
66
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:37,657
OCD.
67
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:37,657
OCD, OCD,
OCD, OCD, OCD.
68
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,258
-OCD because you said OCD!
-OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD!
69
00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,761
Because if you say it,
I have to say it five times.
70
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:45,298
-OCD.
-OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD! What about this don't you get?
71
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,799
I am in a prison right now
and you have the key.
72
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:51,471
Just... (whispering):
OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD.
73
00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:53,940
(whispering):
OCD.
74
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,475
-Okay, look! Look, look!
-OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD, OCD.
75
00:02:56,508 --> 00:02:57,944
Just... one, two, three.
76
00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,545
BOTH:
OCD, OCD, OCD.
77
00:02:59,578 --> 00:03:02,215
(exhales) All right,
that's lunch.
78
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,250
(slurping)
79
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,555
It's a good first day.
80
00:03:09,588 --> 00:03:10,957
Great first day.
81
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,458
I mean, look at us.
82
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:15,861
We set up the office,
we showered, we changed,
83
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:17,763
we're fueling up
with some healthy food.
84
00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:20,399
Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:20,432 --> 00:03:24,337
I mean, it is almost 3:00.
86
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,607
Should we just, like, maybe, I
guess, like, call it, and, like,
87
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,409
come back and hit this
shit hard tomorrow?
88
00:03:30,442 --> 00:03:33,279
Yeah. Let's call it.
89
00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:35,381
Maybe we go our
separate ways,
90
00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:36,649
brainstorm on our own,
91
00:03:36,682 --> 00:03:38,351
come back tomorrow
and collaborate.
92
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:39,751
Yeah. Fresh eyes tomorrow.
93
00:03:39,785 --> 00:03:41,320
Fresh eyes tomorrow.
94
00:03:41,353 --> 00:03:43,489
So, the second half of yesterday
wasn't as productive
95
00:03:43,522 --> 00:03:44,823
as I wanted it to be.
96
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,626
Got away from us.
It happens.
97
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:51,530
This shit is hard, but I guess
anything worth doing is,
98
00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:54,899
so let's really buckle down
and write a song.
99
00:03:54,933 --> 00:03:58,004
We do not leave this room
until we crack this track.
100
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:01,407
For Lou!
101
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:01,407
Mm-hmm.
102
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,409
(cell phone buzzes)
103
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:06,012
That's my dad.
104
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:07,946
He wants me to go
on a grocery run for him.
105
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,583
-I can help you with that. Extra
set of hands is always nice. -Yep.
106
00:04:10,616 --> 00:04:12,885
LAFONSO (laughing):
That's great.
107
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:14,987
I will put you down
for one home tanning center.
108
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,356
All right. Thank you very much.
109
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:18,924
(laughs)
110
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:21,027
Ooh, what a business.
Am I right?
111
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:23,296
Oh, listen, I'm sorry to pull
you boys in like this,
112
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,431
but Reggie bailed
on me day of,
113
00:04:25,464 --> 00:04:27,033
even though he's had
the schedule for weeks.
114
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,900
There's a schedule for kids
to buy you groceries?
115
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,569
Not if no one respects it
there's not.
116
00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:31,904
Okay, so Dad,
just let us know
117
00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:33,439
what we need to pick up
from the store
118
00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:35,441
because we got
to get back to our song.
119
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:36,675
Don't let me hold you up.
Here's the list.
120
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:39,478
You'll save time if you follow
the route I highlighted in blue.
121
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:42,782
Now, if they're out of anything,
there's second, third,
122
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:45,084
and fourth choices
for each item.
123
00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:46,919
-This is... cool.
-Mm-hmm.
124
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:50,056
Hey, look at handsome Lafonso
over here, huh?
125
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,625
Like a young
Denzel Grillington.
126
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:57,563
(laughs)
127
00:04:57,596 --> 00:04:59,098
Wow.
128
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,965
Oh, those were the days.
129
00:05:00,999 --> 00:05:02,968
Man, those block parties
were lit.
130
00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:07,106
Last time I grilled
like that was...
131
00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:09,508
well, obviously,
that would've been, uh,
132
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:11,811
when you guys went on the road.
133
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,779
Oh, right.
134
00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:15,748
RONNIE:
He's here now.
135
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,917
What better reason to throw a
block party than to celebrate?
136
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,086
LAFONSO:
Oh, I hung up my tongs
137
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,687
-years ago.
-ALF: You heard the man.
138
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,955
He's retired, so...
139
00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:24,724
What? He uses tongs
all day long.
140
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,826
I know that propane fire
burns deep within your heart.
141
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,695
Propane? You insult me.
142
00:05:29,728 --> 00:05:32,865
It's charcoal
if it's anything at all.
143
00:05:32,898 --> 00:05:34,500
There he is.
144
00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:36,469
No, there he's not.
Let's go, please.
145
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,405
You know something?
Let's do this.
146
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:41,574
(gasps)
147
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:41,574
Dad, are you sure?
148
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:42,842
Give me that binder back.
149
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,443
Here. (laughs)
150
00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:45,978
Now that I'm cooking,
151
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:49,682
it's gonna be a horse
of a whole different color.
152
00:05:49,715 --> 00:05:51,950
You know, for a man
who hasn't been in this store
153
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:54,085
in quite some time, this map
is shockingly accurate.
154
00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:56,655
He predicted they'd be
mopping on aisle 12.
155
00:05:56,688 --> 00:05:58,924
You know, I wish you hadn't
pushed my dad into this.
156
00:05:58,957 --> 00:06:01,494
He's not capable
of throwing a block party.
157
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,496
He got winded saying the word,
"block party."
158
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,865
Yeah, but didn't you see how
happy he was when he said it?
159
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,133
Yeah.
160
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,068
I'm just worried
about him, you know?
161
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:12,671
Like, he hasn't walked in...
I don't know how long.
162
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:14,173
Like, longer than
a human being should go
163
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:15,908
without walking by,
like, a decade.
164
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,443
Is that your cousin?
165
00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:19,678
The one that you had...
166
00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:19,678
Yup.
167
00:06:19,711 --> 00:06:21,781
-...sexual intercourse with?
-Yes. Yes!
168
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:25,050
Ron, I was trying to interrupt
you so you wouldn't say it.
169
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:27,086
Oh. I thought you were
leading me down a path.
170
00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:28,621
TASHA:
Alfonso?
171
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:30,022
Tasha? Ah!
172
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,924
(exhales)
173
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:33,793
-Hey.
-ALF: I didn't know you worked here.
174
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,628
How the heck are you?
175
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,563
Good. I started
a couple weeks ago.
176
00:06:37,596 --> 00:06:39,432
But it's just
my day job, though.
177
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,799
My night job's
cleaning a day spa.
178
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,501
Cool, cool.
179
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,501
Yeah.
180
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,804
Clever. Cool.
181
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:48,174
Uh, look, I'm sorry I never
texted you back after...
182
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,676
Oh, please. You don't
have to apologize.
183
00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:53,846
It was...
184
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:55,181
You know, don't
worry about it.
185
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:55,181
Yeah, yeah.
186
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,615
-Don't worry about it.
-Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay.
187
00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,851
Thanks.
188
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:05,924
What are you guys doing?
189
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:08,694
That went about as well
as it possibly could've.
190
00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:11,496
Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
191
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,097
You know, it's cool
to see cousins
192
00:07:13,131 --> 00:07:15,099
who are able to stay friends
after fucking each other.
193
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,534
Come on.
194
00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:17,736
Let's get these groceries
back to your pops
195
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:19,572
and then we can get back
to the beat lab.
196
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,775
Absolute... oh, dang it.
197
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:25,711
Damn. I got these
regular pork rinds.
198
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,146
I was supposed
to get low sodium.
199
00:07:27,179 --> 00:07:30,181
You know, I'm just gonna
pop back in there...
200
00:07:30,215 --> 00:07:32,917
real quick, maybe try
and switch them out.
201
00:07:32,951 --> 00:07:35,821
But you know, by the time, like,
customer service gives me
202
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,756
the runaround for, like,
the refund and everything...
203
00:07:37,789 --> 00:07:39,892
Oh, well, yeah, I mean,
that could take forever.
204
00:07:39,925 --> 00:07:41,560
It's nothing but red tape.
205
00:07:41,593 --> 00:07:44,263
We're talking a tight
45 minutes at least.
206
00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:46,565
-Do we call it?
-I'm okay with calling it.
207
00:07:46,598 --> 00:07:48,034
-Fresh eyes tomorrow.
-Fresh eyes tomorrow.
208
00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:52,538
Hey, man, thank God
it's Friday, right?
209
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:54,673
Mm-hmm.
210
00:07:54,706 --> 00:07:56,509
So, should we get flowing?
211
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,044
Two steps ahead
of you, baby boy.
212
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:59,044
Sweet.
213
00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:01,680
Last night I got inspired.
214
00:08:01,713 --> 00:08:03,549
Wrote a rap for Lou.
You want to hear it?
215
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:05,284
Yeah, man.
216
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:06,886
♪ I'm-a kill that pussy ♪
217
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,686
♪ Eat it like Dahmer ♪
218
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,523
♪ Now you blowin' up my dick
like you the Unabomber ♪
219
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,258
♪ I'm exploding
on your feet ♪
220
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,094
♪ Richard Reid,
Shoe Bomber. ♪
221
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,863
What exactly are you doing
and do you have to do it here?
222
00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:22,201
Also, "bomber"
and "bomber"? Bro.
223
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:25,070
I don't think rhyming the same
word twice is the problem.
224
00:08:25,103 --> 00:08:27,006
Also, leave.
225
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,008
Man, fuck you, Dad.
We can't work at our place.
226
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,210
There's too many
distractions.
227
00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,279
So maybe if you guys could
leave the house for once,
228
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,680
we could work here.
229
00:08:34,712 --> 00:08:37,616
Fine. I'm going
to the botanical gardens.
230
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:41,253
Oh, uh, should
I come along?
231
00:08:41,285 --> 00:08:42,688
Uh... oh...
232
00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:45,724
Ah... yeah, no,
my-my-my sinuses.
233
00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:48,861
That hibiscus really does
a job on his sinuses.
234
00:08:48,894 --> 00:08:51,931
Yeah, okay.
235
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:56,335
I'm going down to the basement
236
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:59,305
and, uh, work on my trains.
237
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,640
All right, Dad, I know
what that means.
238
00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:04,043
He gonna bomb that
guest bathroom. Heh.
239
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,611
All right, let's
fucking write.
240
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:07,846
You know, I want to get
at least the second verse
241
00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,214
and the chorus in
before the weekend,
242
00:09:09,247 --> 00:09:11,016
so we get that good
feeling, you know?
243
00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:13,953
Oh! What if the whole song
was from the perspective
244
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,588
of a dollar bill.
245
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:16,689
I hate that.
246
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:16,689
Hey, yo.
247
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,723
Could we please make this
a safe space for ideas?
248
00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:19,992
if you're gonna shoot
something down,
249
00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:21,093
at least come
with something better.
250
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,227
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
251
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,829
I'm being negative,
I know that.
252
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:26,131
It's just...
Ugh, I can't get that
253
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:29,068
uncomfortable, like, interaction
your parents just had
254
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,103
out of my head, it's making me
feel, like, uncomfortable
255
00:09:31,136 --> 00:09:32,871
and, like, it's
fucking up my focus.
256
00:09:32,904 --> 00:09:34,340
What are you
talking about?
257
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,474
You not just see that?
258
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,343
They used to be all affectionate
in front of us and shit,
259
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:39,678
like, hugging and kissing.
Gave me my first wood.
260
00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:41,347
I remember it very specifically.
261
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,782
All right. Gross.
And who cares?
262
00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:48,721
Who cares? Bruh,
you should care. Trust me.
263
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,856
Take it from somebody who
watched their parents split up.
264
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:52,124
That's exactly
the shit that happened
265
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:53,659
right before
that happened.
266
00:09:53,692 --> 00:09:55,661
That went from romantic
comedy to, like,
267
00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:57,997
an unromantic non-comedy.
268
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,767
-Rough diagnosis, my friend.
-(cell phone buzzes)
269
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,736
But it does seem
like that takes
270
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,705
top priority on what
we need to do right now.
271
00:10:06,738 --> 00:10:08,207
You know, we got to stop this.
272
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,142
We need to make sure
my family stays together.
273
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,243
Yes.
274
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:15,681
But that does sort of
sound like a you thing.
275
00:10:15,714 --> 00:10:17,316
Uh... so, maybe,
three-day weekend?
276
00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:18,917
Yeah, three-day
weekend.
277
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:21,887
And I know exactly who's
responsible for this bullshit.
278
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,021
-All right, there's a...
-(running footsteps approach)
279
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:24,256
Have a nice day.
280
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,391
Ronnie, what are
you doing here?
281
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:26,459
What the fuck,
Shayna?
282
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:29,895
I leave you in charge
of the family for 15 years
283
00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:31,230
and this is what happens?
284
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,032
Mom and Dad
in a sham marriage?
285
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,767
It's not a sham, okay?
286
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,267
It's not perfect,
but it's an arrangement,
287
00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:38,003
so just stay
the hell out of it.
288
00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:39,838
Things have been
much better since Steve
289
00:10:39,871 --> 00:10:41,073
came in the picture, believe...
290
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:42,441
Okay, shut the
fuck up real quick.
291
00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:43,976
Who is Steve?
292
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:46,245
Um, what? I didn't...
293
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:47,913
(chuckles) I didn't,
I didn't say Steve.
294
00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:49,314
-You just said Steve.
-No, I didn't.
295
00:10:49,347 --> 00:10:50,882
I said Jeeves.
296
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:51,884
You said Jeeves?
297
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:51,884
Yeah.
298
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:52,985
You remember that old...
299
00:10:53,018 --> 00:10:54,186
-uh, that website. Yeah.
-Search engine?
300
00:10:54,219 --> 00:10:56,255
Ask Jeeves. Mom's been
going crazy on that
301
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,890
-and everything's
gotten better, so... -Oh, yeah, that...
302
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,024
You right, you right. Uh-huh.
303
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,826
-Okay, you can just go.
-I believe you. That tracks.
304
00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:02,127
It's a lovely
candle wagon.
305
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,362
Thank you,
it's the fifth one.
306
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:04,963
-Yeah?
-You know, I just opened it.
307
00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:06,298
Kind of my baby cart,
you know?
308
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,100
It's the one that
I kind of feel, like,
309
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:09,201
I care the most about.
310
00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:10,302
It smells
really nice.
311
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:12,137
It is a best seller.
312
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:12,137
$95.
313
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,372
That's expensive
for a candle.
314
00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:16,275
Well, it's-it's in demand, so...
315
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,509
It must be because
of that triple wick. Right?
316
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,445
-Yeah, it stays lit for a while.
-It's that triple wick action?
317
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:21,847
Goddamn it, Ronnie,
you're paying for that!
318
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,717
-You tell me who Steve is,
Shayna, right now. -There is no Steve!
319
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,151
Oh, this one sounds rich.
320
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,953
"A Walk in Winter's
Connecticut."
321
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:29,488
That is a Christmas candle.
322
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,723
It is very expensive
and hard to make.
323
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:32,958
I'll put it right back...
324
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,960
-Ronnie!
-(candle crashes)
325
00:11:34,993 --> 00:11:37,796
I'm so sorry.
I'm calling security.
326
00:11:37,829 --> 00:11:41,165
Now you tell me
who Steve is!
327
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:43,135
He's the pharmacist
Mom is sleeping with!
328
00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:45,337
Whenever she says
she's going for a walk
329
00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:46,939
in the botanical garden,
she's with Steve,
330
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,774
just please stop breaking stuff.
331
00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:52,778
So Mommy's having an affair
with the pharmacist?
332
00:11:52,811 --> 00:11:53,879
Yes.
333
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,748
Someone should do something.
I should do something.
334
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:56,949
I-I should confront her.
335
00:11:56,982 --> 00:11:58,217
No, you shouldn't.
336
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,318
Well, someone needs
to say something.
337
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,754
Someone needs to tell Dad
that he's being a cuck.
338
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,188
Look.
339
00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,023
Oh, no, Shayna,
340
00:12:05,056 --> 00:12:09,428
I don't really want to buy
any candles, you know.
341
00:12:09,461 --> 00:12:10,963
$500.
342
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,499
$500 for
your silence.
343
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,801
It's a delicate balance.
344
00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:17,770
He doesn't ask 'cause
he doesn't want to know,
345
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,839
and she doesn't tell him 'cause
she doesn't want to hurt him.
346
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,841
Just keep quiet.
347
00:12:22,874 --> 00:12:24,309
But it's so sad.
348
00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:26,845
Like you give a shit.
If you cared about this family,
349
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:30,048
you would've weighed in once
over the last 15 years.
350
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:32,918
I mean, our lives
have been not great.
351
00:12:32,951 --> 00:12:36,355
Stuff has gone down.
I had to get LASIK.
352
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:38,357
This day and age it seems like
an inconvenience, really.
353
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,292
I was out of work
for a day and a half.
354
00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:41,827
Don't tell
Mom and Dad.
355
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:44,930
Look, I don't want your money.
356
00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:47,565
I won't say anything
to those two specific people.
357
00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:49,268
The way you're saying that
makes me think
358
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,203
that you have some
sort of weird plan.
359
00:12:51,236 --> 00:12:53,238
I don't have a weird plan.
360
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:55,073
Hey, yo, Steve!
361
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:58,177
Come out and face me
like a man, Steve!
362
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,113
He is not here!
Girls, go back inside.
363
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:03,549
Girls, you stay right where
the fuck you are!
364
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,851
-Inside! Mommy will handle this.
-I want you two
365
00:13:05,884 --> 00:13:10,222
to look at this image and
have it burned into your skulls
366
00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:13,859
the way your husband
has torched my childhood.
367
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:15,828
I don't know what
you're talking about.
368
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,063
Neither do I. I'm a little
mixed up right now
369
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:20,499
because there's
a-a lot going on!
370
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:23,268
And this-- I--
This fire is very hot!
371
00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:24,870
Your husband is
boning my mom!
372
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:26,572
Well, I told you he's not here!
373
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:29,241
-Leave us alone!
-I will do no such thing!
374
00:13:29,274 --> 00:13:31,877
I will stay here,
right in this spot,
375
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:34,346
or maybe a little closer
and further away from this fire,
376
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,981
until your husband returns.
377
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,049
I'm calling the cops.
378
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,051
Oh, you fucking narc!
379
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,152
(siren approaching)
380
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:44,190
Tell your husband to keep
his nose out of my mom's ass!
381
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:49,962
♪ ♪
382
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,563
♪ I've been trying so hard ♪
383
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:54,032
♪ To make you see ♪
384
00:13:54,065 --> 00:13:56,468
♪ That loving me, baby, ♪
385
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:59,004
♪ Is just trying
to set you free ♪
386
00:13:59,037 --> 00:14:00,606
♪ I can't understand ♪
387
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:03,342
♪ The reason why ♪
388
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,577
♪ The certain change
inside of you ♪
389
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:09,948
♪ That made you want
to say good-bye. ♪
390
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,950
LAFONSO (over comm):
Grill team one. Comm check.
391
00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:14,419
Grill team one.
That's a good check.
392
00:14:14,452 --> 00:14:17,189
Okay, boys, now you're cooking.
393
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:18,290
-Grill one.
-Yes, sir?
394
00:14:18,323 --> 00:14:19,925
Flip those shrimp.
395
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,526
-Don't keep them
on there too long. -Copy that.
396
00:14:21,559 --> 00:14:23,495
Grill two, get those
onions chopped.
397
00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:25,264
Chop them up
real fine like that.
398
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,431
Grill three, baste those ribs.
399
00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:27,900
Table two,
mac and cheese spill.
400
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,167
-Table four needs iced tea.
-Got it.
401
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,103
-Now, flip that burger.
-Okay.
402
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,105
-Now that one.
-You got it.
403
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,606
Now flip that one and that one.
404
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:37,075
Grill number one,
now watch your temperature.
405
00:14:37,108 --> 00:14:38,676
-It's looking good, right?
-Show me that lamb.
406
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:42,514
Oh, you son of a bitch. (laughs)
407
00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:45,484
-That's so impressive.
-He's like a meat day trader.
408
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,652
-Yeah.
-Hey, son.
409
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:48,053
You want to give it a spin?
410
00:14:48,086 --> 00:14:48,920
Oh, no thanks, Pop.
411
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,388
This is, like,
your thing, you know.
412
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:51,456
No, this is not my thing.
413
00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:52,624
It's our thing.
414
00:14:52,657 --> 00:14:54,192
One day, it's gonna
be your thing.
415
00:14:54,225 --> 00:14:56,328
Listen, I ain't gonna
be here forever.
416
00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:58,396
Don't say that, Dad!
417
00:14:58,430 --> 00:14:59,631
You're gonna lose
all that weight,
418
00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:01,300
and you'll turn your
whole life around.
419
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,535
I meant that I was thinking
about moving to New Mexico.
420
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,238
You think I got
a weight problem?
421
00:15:06,271 --> 00:15:08,339
Yikes.
422
00:15:06,271 --> 00:15:08,339
Hey, hey, hey!
423
00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:10,175
Who's that I see?
424
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:13,411
Is that Lafonso and Alfonso?
What's up?
425
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,514
Diane and Tasha, what great luck
426
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:18,216
that you should come in
to see your daughter on a day
427
00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:20,152
that I'm throwing
my big block party.
428
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:23,454
Baby, don't tell anybody. I came
here for them goddamn ribs.
429
00:15:23,488 --> 00:15:25,357
(laughter)
430
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,359
I'm sorry, we haven't met.
I'm Ronnie.
431
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:29,394
You must be Aunt Diane.
432
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:29,394
I am.
433
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:30,963
Aunt to Alf,
434
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,631
and also mother to Tasha.
435
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:33,497
Hi, Uncle Lafonso.
436
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:35,033
Alf, you remember
your cousin, huh?
437
00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:37,135
-No. No.
-RONNIE: Yeah, you remember.
438
00:15:37,168 --> 00:15:38,603
Yeah, you remember.
439
00:15:37,168 --> 00:15:38,603
No!
440
00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:40,572
All right.
Later, Lannisters.
441
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:41,506
Go get us a round of drinks.
442
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,141
I was hoping that
you two could hook up
443
00:15:43,174 --> 00:15:44,209
now that she's back home.
444
00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:45,377
Hook up?
445
00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:45,377
Ew!
446
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:47,212
Dad, hook up? Gross.
447
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:47,212
Yeah.
448
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:49,047
Ugh. Like, that's
my cousin. What?
449
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,149
Why would I hook up with
my cousin? Dad, come on.
450
00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:53,118
No thanks.
(laughs)
451
00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:55,454
I mean, not that
she's not gorgeous.
452
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:57,255
I mean, he is okay.
453
00:15:57,288 --> 00:15:58,724
Oh, that booty though.
454
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,324
Mmm, I do love chocolate.
455
00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:01,660
(Tasha chuckles)
456
00:16:01,693 --> 00:16:04,730
I meant "hook up"
as in "hang out."
457
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,264
What are you talking about?
458
00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:08,166
Oh!
459
00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:08,166
Yeah, I mean,
460
00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:09,633
that makes more sense
461
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,536
'cause that-that would be
the normal thing.
462
00:16:11,569 --> 00:16:13,738
I was, I was putting all that
on you and that's on me.
463
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:15,307
I-I was thinking
what you was thinking.
464
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,675
Yeah.
465
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,675
He wasn't.
466
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,211
Never mind.
467
00:16:20,545 --> 00:16:23,214
(indistinct chatter)
468
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,416
Family.
469
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,353
I'd like to make a toast.
470
00:16:28,386 --> 00:16:30,322
Could I have everybody's
attention, please?
471
00:16:30,355 --> 00:16:33,091
Look, I know over
the last 15 years,
472
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:36,161
some mistakes have been made,
some indiscretions.
473
00:16:36,194 --> 00:16:37,496
What the fuck, Ronnie?
474
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:40,032
Shayna, zip it.
475
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:43,135
But we are a family
and we love each other.
476
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,369
And families
can bounce back
477
00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:46,772
from anything as long
as we're honest
478
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:47,805
with each other.
479
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:47,805
Okay, cheers.
480
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,808
I'm not done, Shayna.
481
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:53,445
I know I've been gone
for a long time.
482
00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:56,348
Maybe I haven't talked to you
as much as I should have.
483
00:16:56,381 --> 00:16:58,183
Jesus, Ronnie,
we forgive you, okay?
484
00:16:58,216 --> 00:17:00,352
Yeah, Ronnie,
we know you feel guilty
485
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:01,720
about being such
a piece of shit,
486
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:03,321
but we'll always love you.
487
00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:05,557
Cheers to Ronnie,
the piece of shit!
488
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:06,625
Cheers.
489
00:17:06,657 --> 00:17:07,692
I'm not talking about me.
490
00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:09,327
Well, you're
not being clear.
491
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,561
Who're you talking about?
492
00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:12,631
Mom, Dad, we love you,
493
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:14,800
but your marriage has
flatlined like a bitch.
494
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,802
I'm sorry.
495
00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:18,603
Dad, wake up.
Come out of the basement.
496
00:17:18,636 --> 00:17:20,806
Take the trains out of your ass
497
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,108
and open your eyes
to everything around you,
498
00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:25,410
any suspicion
you may have.
499
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,579
Mom, enough
with the hibiscus.
500
00:17:27,612 --> 00:17:30,382
Stop going
to the botanical garden.
501
00:17:30,415 --> 00:17:33,151
It's fucking your life up
in more ways than one.
502
00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:36,088
And probably, more positions
than one as well.
503
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,390
Ronnie! That's enough.
504
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,390
Son!
505
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,258
It is enough.
506
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:44,062
It's enough with you two
taking each other for granted.
507
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:51,403
Who knows how long
you'll have each other?
508
00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:54,306
My best friend just died
509
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,608
and I'd do anything I could
to get him back, but I can't.
510
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:02,680
-Burger.
-Yes, sir.
511
00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:03,849
-Burger.
-You got it.
512
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,584
-Portobello.
-Coming up.
513
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,651
-Dog.
-Gotcha, sir.
514
00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:07,652
(laughs)
515
00:18:07,685 --> 00:18:09,888
All right.
516
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:11,556
Reggie, you're low
on Masterpiece.
517
00:18:11,589 --> 00:18:12,791
REGGIE:
Copy that.
518
00:18:12,824 --> 00:18:14,226
Head to the pantry
for some more K.C.
519
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,261
-This looks like a lot of work.
-Worth it.
520
00:18:16,294 --> 00:18:19,131
I haven't felt
this alive since, uh,
521
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,866
since the last time
I was defibrillated.
522
00:18:20,899 --> 00:18:23,200
-And when was that?
-Thursday.
523
00:18:23,234 --> 00:18:24,803
Oh. Wow.
524
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,471
Yeah, well, but none of this
could have happened without Alf.
525
00:18:26,504 --> 00:18:27,738
He's the one who encouraged me
to throw this thing
526
00:18:27,772 --> 00:18:29,374
in the first place.
527
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,510
That boy has been
to the grocery store for me,
528
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,745
what, 20 times?
529
00:18:33,778 --> 00:18:35,313
Back and forth,
forth and back.
530
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:38,583
-What, the one uptown?
-Yeah.
531
00:18:38,616 --> 00:18:39,885
Wow, I'm surprised
he didn't see Tasha there.
532
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:42,187
You know she works
there now, right?
533
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:45,423
Huh. That is weird.
534
00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:48,226
'Cause he's been headed
to that store all the time
535
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:49,594
for the littlest thing.
536
00:18:49,627 --> 00:18:51,696
Hmm.
537
00:18:49,627 --> 00:18:51,696
Hmm.
538
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:55,901
Hey, Reggie, what's your 20
on that K.C.?
539
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:57,802
REGGIE:
At the pantry, sir.
540
00:18:57,835 --> 00:19:00,906
-Here comes the pop!
-Pop, pop, suck!
541
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,374
(Alf screams)
542
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:06,178
Oh, no! Don't look at me!
543
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,512
(Alf grunting)
544
00:19:07,545 --> 00:19:09,214
Oh, sweet Jesus.
545
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:11,349
DIANE:
Hell no. Tasha, no!
546
00:19:11,382 --> 00:19:13,718
That's your damn son.
547
00:19:13,751 --> 00:19:15,754
-(awkwardly laughs)
-ALF: This is not what it looks like.
548
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:18,256
-TASHA: I was getting soda.
-(sighs)
549
00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:20,325
The truth is, you can't
hold on to people forever.
550
00:19:20,358 --> 00:19:23,562
You never know when you're
gonna have to let them go.
551
00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:32,236
Agnes! Your psycho son here
told my wife about us.
552
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:33,705
You're Steve?
Not what I pictured.
553
00:19:33,738 --> 00:19:35,540
Told his wife about you?
554
00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:37,576
It's none of your business.
W-Who the hell are you?
555
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:38,842
I'm her husband!
556
00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:40,745
You said he was dead.
557
00:19:40,778 --> 00:19:43,715
He was,
but he's-he's back now.
558
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:46,685
You've had an affair?
559
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:47,786
I thought you knew.
560
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:51,356
If I had known, why wouldn't
I say something about it?!
561
00:19:51,389 --> 00:19:53,291
Because it was embarrassing
562
00:19:53,324 --> 00:19:56,628
and because you're... Burt.
563
00:19:56,661 --> 00:20:01,366
Well, not any
longer I'm not.
564
00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:02,533
I'm done.
565
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:03,535
Are you happy?!
566
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,537
We are a broken family now.
567
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:07,272
-Steve!
-Yeah.
568
00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:08,907
Whoa, hey, that's a lot of heat.
569
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,976
Um, look, I burned down
your kids' swing set
570
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:13,979
and you fucked my mom,
but, like, I think that,
571
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:15,981
like, equals everything so...
572
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,983
Aah! Ron!
573
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,751
AGNES:
Just stop it!
574
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:21,886
He came to my home, Agnes.
575
00:20:21,919 --> 00:20:23,555
He burned down
my kids' playhouse.
576
00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:26,024
It was a metaphor. Okay?
577
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:27,559
And it went right over
your wife's head.
578
00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:28,627
She's not
the brightest fire...
579
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:29,728
(yelling)
580
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:32,030
I'm sitting here!
581
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,632
You got to be kidding me.
582
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:34,766
LAFONSO:
Enough!
583
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:38,270
He's walking.
584
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,538
(wood creaking)
585
00:20:40,571 --> 00:20:41,872
(guests murmuring)
586
00:20:41,906 --> 00:20:43,908
Attaboy, Pop.
587
00:20:47,378 --> 00:20:51,850
I look at you people out here
and all I can say is...
588
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,920
...ribs is up!
(chuckles)
589
00:20:55,953 --> 00:20:57,889
I mean, I could eat.
590
00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,924
(laughs)
591
00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,924
Dad, this is an
amazing step for you,
592
00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:04,796
both, like, figuratively and,
like, uh, literally, too.
593
00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:09,701
Boy, you need to get
right with Jesus.
594
00:21:13,404 --> 00:21:16,007
♪ Oh, woman, oh, woman,
why you treat me so mean? ♪
595
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,743
♪ 'Cause I'm chillin' with
my ... and I'm smokin'. ♪
596
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:21,680
So, do we get
back to the song?
597
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:24,783
(sighs) Can I be
honest with you?
598
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:27,052
I don't think I'm very
talented as a rapper.
599
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,754
-I don't even like rap.
-What?
600
00:21:29,787 --> 00:21:32,490
I mean, sure, I liked it
when my friend was doing it,
601
00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:34,726
but it's not, like,
my preferred genre of music.
602
00:21:34,759 --> 00:21:36,061
You don't like rap?
603
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:37,896
(grunts)
604
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:40,965
-Okay, you're at the gym.
-Mm-hmm.
605
00:21:40,998 --> 00:21:42,967
You're looking to
get some squats in,
606
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,103
make some heavy gains
on your quads.
607
00:21:45,136 --> 00:21:47,439
You want to get fired up
and you put on...?
608
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,541
Podcast.
609
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,541
A podcast?
610
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:51,543
Gun to your head, you have
to listen to one album
611
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:52,711
for the rest of
your life. It is...?
612
00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:54,446
"Garden State" soundtrack.
613
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,716
The fuck are you
talking about, man?
614
00:21:57,749 --> 00:22:00,652
All right,
you're in the club.
615
00:21:57,749 --> 00:22:00,652
Mm-hmm.
616
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:02,654
You meet Rihanna.
617
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:02,654
Uh-oh.
(laughs)
618
00:22:02,687 --> 00:22:05,055
She's feeling you.
619
00:22:02,687 --> 00:22:05,055
Yup.
620
00:22:05,089 --> 00:22:06,858
(laughs) She walks
over and she's like,
621
00:22:06,891 --> 00:22:10,595
(Jamaican accent): "Irie
bumbaclot, Alf, take me home."
622
00:22:10,628 --> 00:22:13,531
"Give me a jerk chicken burrito
and then we do it all night."
623
00:22:13,564 --> 00:22:16,434
And you say, "You got it, girl,
you my Caribbean queen."
624
00:22:16,467 --> 00:22:19,637
Pop that front bra off,
reveal that weird tattoo
625
00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:21,639
and you put on what?
626
00:22:21,672 --> 00:22:22,741
"Caribbean Queen."
627
00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,109
What?!
628
00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,109
Yeah, man.
629
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,111
Billy Ocean.
(smooches) Mmm!
630
00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:28,747
I was using that as, like,
a-a thing to describe Rihanna.
631
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,081
Serendipitous, bro,
'cause, like,
632
00:22:30,114 --> 00:22:31,649
that's what it was
gonna be, anyway.
633
00:22:31,682 --> 00:22:32,951
Look, it's fine, okay?
634
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:35,720
Maybe we're just not the ones
635
00:22:35,753 --> 00:22:37,489
to write Lou's tribute song.
636
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,689
We could perform it.
637
00:22:38,723 --> 00:22:40,992
I mean, of course
we could perform it.
638
00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:43,628
-But maybe not write it.
-We can't write it.
639
00:22:43,661 --> 00:22:46,765
I dispute all those charges.
I've never been to Texarkana.
640
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:49,033
-Well...
-(pounding on door)
641
00:22:49,066 --> 00:22:50,969
Hey, dicklicker!
642
00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,571
Yeah, we drove all the way
to the Shod, bitch.
643
00:22:53,604 --> 00:22:55,440
Surprised?
644
00:22:55,473 --> 00:22:58,610
No. The girl at the front desk
told me you were coming.
645
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:00,178
-It's been a while.
-(laughs)
646
00:23:00,211 --> 00:23:02,447
Good. (chuckles)
Now, listen.
647
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,749
We need you
to supply us with the dudes
648
00:23:04,782 --> 00:23:08,153
to write Lou's tribute song.
649
00:23:08,186 --> 00:23:10,554
-What?
-RONNIE: Your mind's blown, right?
650
00:23:10,588 --> 00:23:13,925
Well, your body's gonna be blown
out of that Zara European Cut,
651
00:23:13,958 --> 00:23:16,494
when I tell you
the rest of this idea.
652
00:23:16,527 --> 00:23:17,829
We want to make
a tribute track for Lou.
653
00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:19,898
See, we honor Lou's legacy,
654
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:21,833
whilst making bank.
655
00:23:21,866 --> 00:23:23,868
Now, we supply
the sick-ass idea, okay.
656
00:23:23,901 --> 00:23:27,572
All you need to supply is
the producer, the studio,
657
00:23:27,605 --> 00:23:30,041
A-list talent,
heavy promotion.
658
00:23:30,074 --> 00:23:31,676
RONNIE: Money to front
all that upfront.
659
00:23:31,709 --> 00:23:34,746
Uh, a Sprinter full of music
video actresses for your boys.
660
00:23:34,779 --> 00:23:37,682
And as far as profits go,
it will be a 50-50 split.
661
00:23:37,715 --> 00:23:40,685
And when I say 50-50, I mean
50 goes to Alf, 50 goes to me
662
00:23:40,718 --> 00:23:43,922
and you get the satisfaction
of a job well done.
663
00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,689
So what do you
think, playboy?
664
00:23:45,723 --> 00:23:47,225
I actually think
it's a brilliant idea.
665
00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:49,794
(laughs) Yeah, baby.
666
00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:49,794
Yes!
667
00:23:49,827 --> 00:23:52,730
And I loved it the
second I heard it...
668
00:23:52,763 --> 00:23:56,000
two weeks ago from Chance
and Common's representatives.
669
00:23:56,033 --> 00:23:58,168
The track drops
in a couple of days.
670
00:23:58,202 --> 00:24:01,706
Well... do you think people
really want to hear
671
00:24:01,739 --> 00:24:04,509
a tribute track for Lou
from two superstars?
672
00:24:04,542 --> 00:24:06,144
Yeah. It's great.
673
00:24:06,177 --> 00:24:07,712
I think people want to hear
a tribute track for Lou
674
00:24:07,745 --> 00:24:09,013
from his two best friends
from grade school.
675
00:24:09,046 --> 00:24:10,982
No, they don't!
When Biggie died,
676
00:24:11,015 --> 00:24:13,551
did everybody want to hear
from his buddy, Ben?
677
00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:15,086
No, they wanted
to hear from Diddy.
678
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,255
When Princess Diana
passed away,
679
00:24:18,289 --> 00:24:20,258
England's rose?
680
00:24:20,291 --> 00:24:23,761
Was everybody waiting for a
track to drop from Dodi's mates?
681
00:24:23,794 --> 00:24:27,232
No. They wanted to hear the
velvet voice of Sir Elton John
682
00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:30,702
sing a song that he'd sung
before about Marilyn Monroe.
683
00:24:30,735 --> 00:24:33,271
And I know you guys think you're
gonna do the Charlie Puth thing
684
00:24:33,304 --> 00:24:35,540
and I grant you he
was able to sneak in
685
00:24:35,573 --> 00:24:37,242
on the Paul
Walker business,
686
00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:39,644
but neither of you
guys is Charlie Puth
687
00:24:39,677 --> 00:24:41,012
and you never will be.
688
00:24:41,045 --> 00:24:44,649
Nobody knows who you
are and nobody cares.
689
00:24:44,682 --> 00:24:47,619
If no one cares
who we are, Craig,
690
00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:51,589
then how come I have
over one million follower--
691
00:24:51,622 --> 00:24:54,759
I'm in the 980 thousands?
692
00:24:54,792 --> 00:24:57,262
I've lost 20,000 followers
since Lou died?
693
00:24:57,295 --> 00:25:00,698
Bro...
694
00:25:00,731 --> 00:25:02,734
they unverified me.
695
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:12,844
♪ I've got to get away
from here somehow ♪
696
00:25:12,877 --> 00:25:15,613
♪ I don't know
where I'm gonna go ♪
697
00:25:15,646 --> 00:25:18,616
♪ But I've gotta go now... ♪
698
00:25:18,649 --> 00:25:22,053
-You're already at a rap show.
-Okay.
699
00:25:22,086 --> 00:25:24,289
You're in the crowd,
front row, it's lit.
700
00:25:24,322 --> 00:25:26,724
-Ooh, shit!
-People going nuts.
701
00:25:26,757 --> 00:25:29,827
A DJ comes out, right?
He's, like, the opening act.
702
00:25:29,860 --> 00:25:32,729
-Just getting the mood.
-Yeah, he's trying to set the mood,
703
00:25:32,763 --> 00:25:34,131
play all the favorites.
704
00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:36,200
So, the first song
that comes on is...?
705
00:25:36,233 --> 00:25:39,203
Probably the rap part
from the "Black and White."
706
00:25:39,236 --> 00:25:41,272
The Michael Jackson song?!
707
00:25:41,305 --> 00:25:43,641
-It's rap!
-It is barely rap.
708
00:25:43,674 --> 00:25:45,076
Macaulay Culkin kills
that freaking track.
709
00:25:45,109 --> 00:25:47,211
Macaulay Culkin doesn't rap that
verse; that's a man's voice!
710
00:25:47,244 --> 00:25:49,280
-Have you not seen that video?!
-I have seen it!
711
00:25:49,313 --> 00:25:51,015
It's a man's voice
coming out of a child.
712
00:25:51,048 --> 00:25:52,984
Yeah, that was what
impressed me the most.
713
00:25:53,017 --> 00:25:55,554
(screams)
714
00:25:55,604 --> 00:26:00,154
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