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Greetings, hack-riculture fans.

I'll be with you in a moment.

I've just got to finish with the Artie-chokes.

Come on, Artie, die already.

Now, a little water and some fear-tilizer,

and before you know it, I'll be horror-vesting

my own little field of screams.

You didn't know your pal the Crypt Keeper had a green thumb, did you?

Well, I do.

And the rest of me is pretty damn moldy, too.

Which brings to mind tonight's tale.

It's about a scientist who's a bit of a scare-cropper himself.

I call this one

"Report from the Grave. "

ARIANNE: I always get a strange feeling when I go into a cemetery.

There's an energy about these places. Can't you feel it?

ELLIOT: At this point, all I can feel

is the sharp corner of a disk drive digging into my back.

- That doesn't sound like you, Elliot. - Dead is dead, as far as I'm concerned.

All I want to do is hook a rotting brain to my machine

and see if I can't wrench some memories from its decaying synapse.

How can you be into quantum theory and not be in touch with the universe?

At some point all physics breaks down into metaphysics.

Look at the Heizenberg Uncertainty Principle.

The Big Bang. Boundary conditions of the universe.

It's all very Zen.

- Don't you believe in anything but science? - Of course.

Loyalty and trust.

Be careful with that, Arianne! Can't you do anything?

All right, what is it? What is going on?

Nothing. Nothing. Shall we just get on with it?

Elliot, I didn't steal your documents.

Well, someone did.

My work is being stolen.

Documents from experiments are missing from my files.

Maybe you mislaid them.

I didn't mislay them, Arianne! That work is my blood.

I depend on that work to get grants.

It's my future and someone is stealing it from me!

Elliot,

look at me.

I love you.

How could you possibly think I'd do anything to hurt you?

After all, what do I care about patents and circuitry?

You'll always have my heart in your hands.

Take care of it.

Look, Ara,

I have to get half this gear back to the med-sci building before dawn.

Right.

You'd better get on with it. Who's our lucky victim?

ELLIOT: Valdemar Tymrak.

Great name. Bet he had plenty of friends.

Valdemar Tymrak.

Number 13 in the World Class Psychos trading card set.

ELLIOT: Twenty-six certified kills,

nineteen women, seven men.

Tymrak was a renowned mesmerist

who apparently hypnotized his victims with a single stare.

Under his control, they were made to commit

terrible and depraved acts before he murdered them

and bathed in their blood.

Very interesting. Good night, Elliot. I am not doing this.

Don't be so dramatic. That's just bullshit they put on these cards

so that people will buy them.

Look, you said he wrote a book. Couldn't you just read it?

Well, I would if I could get a hold of it. Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is my machine.

This man had tremendous mental powers. Maybe something of that mind remains.

Couldn't we just go to Paris and dig up Jim Morrison instead?

Arianne.

Old Valdemar here is in amazing shape.

I'm very happy for him.

ELLIOT: Stand back.

What did they do to him?

ELLIOT: Well, after his death,

Tymrak's supplicants stole his body from the morgue

and embalmed it in accordance with some papers he left behind.

The procedure was intended to super-preserve his body

until he returned from the grave to reclaim it.

Well,

so much for the afterlife, eh, Arianne?

Anything?

Something.

It's faint, though, it's...

It's like it needs more power.

I don't get it. It should be getting plenty of juice.

"Dear Ms. Finch, we are very interested in the Quinlan experiments you sent us. "

Well, Arianne, you wanna hear something?

Hear this.

Arianne! Arianne, take it off!

Take it off!

Arianne?

No!

ELLIOT.: Dear Mr. Quinlan,

we have examined your experiments in Postmortem Memory Recovery

as submitted by Ms. Arianne Finch

and are extremely pleased to inform you

that you are the recipient of our annual �100,000 grant.

As you may know, we grant...

ELLIOT: Circuit?

Elliot.

What is this?

Something I need.

What you need is to go home.

Home?

Yes.

Wonderful.

What about the book? Malcolm, did you find the book?

I'm still looking for it.

Elliot,

I think you should leave this alone.

No, I know what happened now, Malcolm.

Arianne saw...

Heard what no one is meant to hear,

for an instant in time, that the world of the living

and the world of the dead collided, and it killed her.

I have to know what it was.

I have to help her. She needs me.

Arianne is dead, Elliot. No one can bring her back.

You have to let her go.

It wasn't your fault.

Back to earth.

She'll do fine.

Elliot.

My heart's faded.

What is it?

I want to remember everything about you,

every line in your face, so that I'll never forget.

Why would you forget?

What is this?

I'm not real,

I can feel it.

- I'm not really here. - You are real.

You're here with me.

No, Elliot,

I'm not.

I'm an illusion.

A memory,

like the flickering image on a movie screen.

You willed me here.

You reached down into death and pulled me out

but I can't stay with you.

Yes.

Yes, you can.

As long as that machine is on, you can be here with me.

Someday that machine will fail and I'll have to go back.

What did you hear that night?

Dark.

Pain.

The pain of the dead.

So strong, the screams...

They were his dead.

Tymrak.

The flesh of the dead can be torn a thousand times.

Now I'm his.

You'll never go back to him. I swear it.

- What is it? - He's coming.

The machine!

- How can I destroy him? - I don't know.

Think, think. There must be a way.

He's not alive. How can you kill the dead?

The machine, it must be shut down.

I can't. That would send you both back!

You don't have a choice.

What if I modify the circuit that you sent me.

- I didn't send it, Elliot. - What?

You were in the room, on the window.

No, Elliot. He must have sent it.

- You saw what he wanted you to see. - But the circuit...

His doing. And if you change it, this thing will grow so monstrous,

it will open a hole to death that can never be closed.

You can't let him win, Elliot. You must destroy the machine.

ARIANNE: He used you, Elliot.

He knew that the only way you would build that machine

is if he sent me back to you.

No.

Don't allow him to regain his body, Elliot.

Stop him!

ELLIOT: Arianne!

ELLIOT: The circuit. I can't remember the circuit.

Elliot?

What are you doing?

I can't remember it.

I've tried, but it's gone. It's gone and I can't help her.

She's calling me and I can't help her.

Come on.

You're the one who needs help.

Malcolm,

thank you.

Sleep well, my friend.

I'll call on you in the morning.

Oh, I

finally found a copy of this.

It was quite expensive.

The collector said...

I'll just leave it here.

Elliot's diary.

Sir, I'm sure that Sergeant Baker will be able to help you.

Mr. Deeds, you'd better come with me.

He's down here.

- Have you read this? - Mad as they come.

Grave robbing. Ghosts.

- It's a lot of nonsense, isn't it? - Can I speak to him?

You can, but I'm afraid he won't be doing a lot of talking back.

Elliot.

Poor bastard.

Sir, we've found something. I don't know if it's important.

What is it?

It's on the window, sir.

There's something written in the dew.

Yes?

Well, it's just that it's...

It's on the outside, sir.

And all the windows on the second floor are painted shut.

She came back for him.

They're off fighting demons now.

Poor Elliot thought his field was physics.

Turned out it was die-ology and that's not the worst of it.

Elliot only read the first part of Tymrak's book,

where he tied up Arianne.

If Elliot had read a little further,

he would have seen Tymrak's chop-ter two!

I've got to get back to my planting.

I've already sown the scare-its and the terror-nips,

which means I have got just one more crop to put in.

Squash!

Squash!

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