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1
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,073
[music playing]
2
00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,007
[weedwacker buzzing]
3
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:11,579
Oh, wow.
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,547
Clean T-shirt and imported beer.
5
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,815
What's the occasion, Phil?
6
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,350
- Company's coming.
- Oh, yeah?
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,418
Health inspector?
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,487
Actually, a charming
pair of newlyweds.
9
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,522
I hope you don't
mean Tom and Jessie.
10
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,791
Because it's our turn
to host Sunday dinner.
11
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,460
When did this turn
system start anyway?
12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,361
It's fair.
13
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,262
And balanced.
14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,497
And wrong.
15
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,332
We should get the kids three
Sundays a month, seeing
16
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,533
as they live in your attic.
17
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,568
Well, they might have
lived in your attic if it
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:38,939
wasn't filled with unsold copies
of your self-published memoir.
19
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,310
I say, governor, doesn't
that look smashing?
20
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,944
I think I'll buy one for my mum.
21
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,414
I know it's you, honey.
22
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,582
And while we're at it,
I want my drill back.
23
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,017
What does that have
to do with anything?
24
00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:51,352
Oh, it has to do
with everything.
25
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,821
For the billionth time, Ben,
I gave you back the drill.
26
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,323
For the billionth time, I--
27
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:56,390
You know what?
28
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,459
Why don't we just
compromise, all right?
29
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,994
Tom and Jessie will be having
dinner with us tonight.
30
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:01,962
Fine.
31
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,064
That is not a
compromise, Judith.
32
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,435
That is you getting
exactly what you want.
33
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:11,772
After we listened patiently
and decided that's what's best.
34
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,374
Here's a thought.
35
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,577
What if we host Sunday dinner
for both sets of parents?
36
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:17,478
We don't cook.
37
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,679
That's a technicality.
38
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,548
We'll break a little
bread, make a little peace.
39
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:21,782
Get down tonight.
40
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:22,683
What?
41
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,852
Are you forty?
42
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,187
[theme music]
43
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:33,261
THEME SONG: Can't we find a
way that we can be together?
44
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:37,698
Is there any way that
we can be together?
45
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:42,603
And oh by the way,
baby, do you love me?
46
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:43,604
Yes, I do.
47
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:44,505
Yes, I do.
48
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,040
Yes, I do.
49
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,041
Yes, I do.
50
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,017
We have to tell everyone
what time to come over.
51
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:57,985
I'm on it.
52
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:58,886
All right.
53
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,087
Let's talk menu.
54
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,389
Microwave.
55
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,523
That's not food.
56
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,424
No.
57
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,692
But it's where food comes from.
58
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,661
It's time we explore our
culinary boundaries, Jess.
59
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,397
The microwave is the boundary.
60
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,664
Not anymore.
61
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,132
Tonight, we turn on the stove.
62
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,367
Well, if we're
turning on the stove,
63
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,603
I know a nice, simple
recipe for vegetarian chili.
64
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:16,637
Oh, good.
65
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,539
My father and tofu,
together at last.
66
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,607
No tofu.
67
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,808
I just need you to
pick up kidney beans.
68
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,176
And where are you going?
69
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,978
I'm on atmosphere-- candles,
tablecloth, chewing gum.
70
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,214
- Chewing gum?
- Yeah.
71
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,815
Our roof leaks, and
they're calling for rain.
72
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,759
Cushion's been misbehaving?
73
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,361
Thunderstorm coming.
74
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:43,297
Low pressure systems
bring out the worst in me.
75
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:47,134
Maybe you should move to
a drier climate, like Mars.
76
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,270
You know, in the
interest of our children,
77
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,272
it'd be nice if we could
put aside our differences
78
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,740
for this dinner.
79
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,109
For one night, why don't
we try to act like--
80
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,110
Old friends.
81
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,279
Acquaintances.
82
00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,547
Former work colleagues.
83
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,448
That'll do.
84
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,489
Hey.
85
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,557
I'm back.
86
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:10,758
You get the word out?
87
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:14,061
They're coming at 7:00.
What is all that stuff?
88
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,463
I just asked you to
get kidney beans.
89
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,897
I know.
But I got inspired.
90
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,299
Oh, no.
91
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,833
One word.
92
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,068
Ratatouille, hmm?
93
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,671
Tom, why do you always
have to do everything
94
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:24,705
that you see in movies?
95
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:25,973
We watched "Pretty
Woman" last night.
96
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,341
And you don't see
me all, hey, I think
97
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,409
I'll try that hooker thing.
98
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,710
Jessie, look.
99
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,379
This isn't just a dinner party.
100
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,446
It's a peace summit.
101
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,614
It calls for spectacle.
102
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,548
It calls for risk.
103
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,549
It calls for--
104
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,084
A cartoon rat
tugging on your hair.
105
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,051
I can do this.
106
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,120
I've made it before.
107
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,822
Well, I watched my mom make it.
108
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:42,823
OK.
109
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,225
I was in the room
when she made it.
110
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,294
I ate it.
111
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,095
But what's wrong
with vegetarian chili?
112
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,497
It's boring.
113
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,199
You think they serve vegetarian
chili at the Geneva Convention?
114
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,100
Why not?
115
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,034
It's tasty.
116
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,469
It's simple,
politically neutral.
117
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,370
Yeah.
118
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,205
But we don't wanna be neutral.
119
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,107
We wanna change
hearts and minds here.
120
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,875
With eggplant?
121
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:02,910
Trust me.
122
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,612
Nothing's gonna go wrong.
123
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,580
[suspenseful ringtone]
124
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,516
You really have to
change that ringtone.
125
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,052
Fair and balanced.
126
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,522
I'll give them
fair and balanced.
127
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,123
What does that mean?
128
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,190
I don't know.
129
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,026
I thought it sounded
kind of threatening.
130
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,361
No good?
131
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,462
It's fine.
132
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,697
But I already talked
to Judith earlier on.
133
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,066
And we both agreed that
it would be best if we
134
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,168
all tried to get along tonight.
135
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,937
But I was working on
this whole coiled rage,
136
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:33,206
don't mess with me thing.
137
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:37,244
Well, you just keep that
in your back pocket, bad boy.
138
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,713
And later, we'll play
angry prison guard.
139
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,115
Again?
140
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,785
Ben, I want you on your
best behavior tonight.
141
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,754
This dinner is very
important to Tom and Jessie.
142
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:47,655
What?
143
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,323
I'm always on my best behavior.
144
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,058
It's Phil who's
the troublemaker.
145
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,193
Then why don't you
show Phil that you
146
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,029
are the better man, hmm?
147
00:04:56,129 --> 00:05:00,868
And bring him a
little peace offering.
148
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,503
Good God, woman,
not the Bordeaux.
149
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,071
Might as well give him
my still beating heart.
150
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:08,075
Yeah, yeah.
151
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,710
There we go.
152
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,044
That's more Phil's
speed right there.
153
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,980
That is cooking wine.
154
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:13,847
Indeed it is.
155
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,523
Hide the jerky, Phil.
156
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,324
Wife's coming.
157
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,225
Relax.
158
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,126
Just kidding.
159
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,928
What do you want, Ben?
160
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,698
Actually, in honor of
tonight, I come bearing
161
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:33,634
a peace offering for you.
162
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,535
Oh, wow.
163
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,869
Thanks, dude.
164
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,871
Someone has to
be the better man.
165
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,974
As a matter of fact, I got a
peace offering for you myself.
166
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,512
Hope it's good.
167
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:45,613
I don't know much about wine.
168
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,347
But my vintner
called this bad boy--
169
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,749
Oh, stop it.
170
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,150
You didn't buy this for me.
171
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,885
You just grabbed whatever was
handy over there to show me up.
172
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:52,786
Wow.
173
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,655
That's quite an accusation, Ben.
174
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,590
You sure someone's
nose isn't out of joint
175
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,593
because his neighbor
just outclassed him?
176
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,463
Nobody outclasses
me, least of all you.
177
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:03,497
I've got class on a stick.
178
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,398
Oh.
179
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,733
So that's what's up your ass.
180
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,305
Tom, you didn't measure
that chicken stock.
181
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,941
Epicurious says a 3/4 cup.
182
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,208
Well, we don't
have a measuring cup.
183
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:16,877
So I eyeballed it.
184
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,612
We have a measuring
cup right here.
185
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,513
Eh.
186
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:20,548
What's done is done.
187
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,215
And why are you
adding the parsley now?
188
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,917
You're supposed to
wait till the end.
189
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,185
Jessie.
190
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,554
I'm sorry.
191
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,221
It's just we had a plan, and
you're deviating from the plan.
192
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,523
And you shouldn't
deviate from the plan
193
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,791
because if you
deviate from the plan,
194
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,325
you might as well not even
make a plan to begin with.
195
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,061
Exactly.
Now you're speaking my language.
196
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,328
I don't want to
speak your language.
197
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,669
Who was the king of eighth
grade home ec class, hmm?
198
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:42,970
You're still
clinging to that, huh?
199
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:43,837
Look.
200
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:44,938
Everything's gonna go great.
201
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,507
Our parents are
gonna love the meal.
202
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,142
And then they're
gonna love each other.
203
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,143
Ew.
204
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,278
- That came out wrong.
- You're right.
205
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,179
I'll set the table.
206
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,492
Are you OK?
207
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,060
I'm just annoyed we have
to share Jessie tonight.
208
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,963
I was looking forward to
seeing her sans Mr. Tightass.
209
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,532
(IN RUSSIAN ACCENT)
Forget the prison guard.
210
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:16,637
Perhaps I can cheer up my
rich Western husband, eh?
211
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,138
Oh.
212
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,941
My Russian mail-order
bride has arrived.
213
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,276
(IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) You will
buy me many, many diamonds
214
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,979
and blue jeans.
- OK.
215
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,147
I got something
for you here, Phil.
216
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,348
Excuse me, Tara.
217
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,817
You'll notice that this is
a slightly older vintage
218
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,119
than the one that you gave me.
219
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,354
It's-- why is Tara wearing
a fur coat and no shoes?
220
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,423
First of all, it's a faux fur.
221
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:39,560
Second of all, it was
about to come off.
222
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,961
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
223
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,330
Pardon me for not anticipating
sexual depravity in the garage.
224
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,231
You might have knocked.
225
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,265
The door was open.
226
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,466
There's a reason for that.
227
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,367
What?
228
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,769
So the mailman could join in?
229
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,771
That's a '98 though.
230
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,772
Hmm.
231
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:54,908
Whoa.
232
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:58,178
Storms a-coming, Pa.
233
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,147
Let's see here.
234
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,815
Music, classical.
235
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,617
Flowers organic.
236
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,453
China, eclectic.
237
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,188
Tom, how's it going?
238
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:11,258
Well, to be honest,
I've hit a bit of a snag.
239
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:12,259
You don't say.
240
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,827
Well, we don't
have any fresh basil.
241
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,229
But I have come up with a
blend of herbs and spices
242
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,498
that's gonna give it
its own unique flavor.
243
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,267
OK, Colonel Sanders.
244
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,368
I gave your plan a shot.
245
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,036
But we can't afford
to screw up this time.
246
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,104
What do you mean this time?
247
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:28,609
I mean choose your appetizers.
248
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,509
China Dragon?
249
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,410
You've gotta be kidding.
250
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,344
Tom, don't get me wrong.
251
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,513
I love your ambition.
- But--
252
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:37,450
But sometimes it
exceeds your ability.
253
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,019
Really?
How so?
254
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,120
Well, let's see.
255
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,355
Normal kids have treehouses.
256
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,525
You tried to build
a tree castle.
257
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:48,295
I'm not so sure
about this, Tom.
258
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,698
[gasping]
259
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,532
I meant to do that.
260
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,937
I didn't realize you'd
been cataloging my failures.
261
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:57,938
No.
262
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,272
But every time you
fall a bit short,
263
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,175
I am more than happy to
help pick up the pieces.
264
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,276
That came out wrong.
265
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,912
Serving takeout at
our first dinner party
266
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:08,782
might be acceptable
to you, but not to me.
267
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,019
Feel free to pick up the pieces.
268
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,987
No problem.
269
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,022
I'm making my chili.
270
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,590
Well, I'm still
making my ratatouille.
271
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,491
God, you're stubborn.
272
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,459
I'm stubborn?
273
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,728
You're the one
insisting on getting
274
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,095
the kids three Sundays a month.
275
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,031
I think it's pretty clear
they prefer our company.
276
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,766
Oh, yes, absolutely.
277
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,067
Why, just yesterday
Tom was going
278
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,703
on about your tofu quin-o-a
or whatever the heck passes
279
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,971
for dinner with you people.
280
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,874
Tofu and quinoa have
nothing to do with each other.
281
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,475
Oh, there's a useful
piece of information.
282
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,845
Thank you for that.
[thunder rumbling]
283
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,781
Great job, Phil.
284
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:41,849
Now the power's out.
285
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,651
How can you blame a
bolt of lightning on me?
286
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:47,454
Give me five minutes.
I'll find a way.
287
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,421
Ah.
288
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:49,322
Nothing.
289
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,423
Whole house is down.
290
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,792
Good thing we
have a gas stove.
291
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:56,964
Good thing my recipe's all up
here and not on some computer.
292
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,032
Good thing my
computer has a battery.
293
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,568
I'll just transcribe
the recipe before it--
294
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,803
dies out.
295
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,537
Oh, that's gotta hurt.
296
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:08,441
What are you gonna do
without your precious recipe?
297
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:12,012
You think I can't
roll with the punches?
298
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,346
You think I can't--
299
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,948
[snapping]
300
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:15,849
Improvise.
301
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,251
I would have gotten it.
302
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,620
And that, Phil, is why
the bolt of lightning
303
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:21,588
was all your fault.
304
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:22,723
I can't believe it.
305
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,257
He found a way.
306
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,194
Phew.
307
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,762
The power just went out.
308
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:29,830
Was it Phil?
- Yeah.
309
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:30,731
Come on.
310
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:31,699
Let's go.
311
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,066
My work here is done.
- Oh, yeah.
312
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,001
The doorknob's stripped.
313
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,769
I keep on meaning
to get to that.
314
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,037
You could have
just used my drill.
315
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,438
Enough already with the drill.
316
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,941
Let's just open the garage
door and get out of here.
317
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,911
- Uh it's electric.
- OK.
318
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,046
Please tell us we're
not stuck in here.
319
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,447
OK.
320
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,449
I'll keep quiet and let you come
to that conclusion on your own.
321
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,451
[thunder rumbling]
322
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,460
Hold on.
323
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:01,929
I've got a bar.
324
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:02,830
Ugh.
325
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,131
It's gone.
326
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,234
Nothing here either.
327
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,401
I'm hot.
328
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,838
No need to brag there.
329
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:14,074
Maybe those windows
open up, huh?
330
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,109
I say let's smash them.
331
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,110
Not a chance.
332
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,311
No one's smashing anything.
333
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:19,913
The power will come
on soon enough.
334
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,949
Everyone just take a pill.
335
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,584
Bet that's your
answer to everything.
336
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,119
God, now I'm starving.
337
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,688
It's too bad this is a strictly
vegetarian household, right?
338
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,758
Otherwise, there'd be
meat products stashed
339
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,825
away somewhere, wouldn't there?
340
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:32,726
I don't know.
341
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,662
Somewhere, maybe here.
342
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,464
Brownies.
343
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,433
Not what you were
expecting, Ben?
344
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,169
No.
345
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,103
But they'll do.
346
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,339
Um Ben, those are
Phil's brownies.
347
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,207
So?
348
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,612
Oh, good God.
349
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,415
You know, I think
this was fate.
350
00:11:55,515 --> 00:12:00,320
Four people, four brownies,
a ton of negative energy.
351
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,722
I think we should
all just have one.
352
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,591
- Not a chance.
- Come on.
353
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,059
Why are you guys so uptight?
354
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:10,163
Because, Phil, we try to set
a good example for our children.
355
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,999
That is the difference
between you and us.
356
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,001
Not the only
difference, I hope.
357
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,668
Ugh.
Oh.
358
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:16,603
Isn't that your refugee?
359
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,071
Oh.
360
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,539
Hello?
361
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,974
Hello.
362
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,442
We're here.
363
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,410
Hello?
364
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,377
Why can't he hear us?
365
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,779
His lips are moving.
366
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,281
Oh, he's likely
in deep prayer.
367
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,518
You know, he comes from a very
ancient and spiritual culture.
368
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,486
And one more thing, Marty.
369
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,356
This mutual fund you got
me into is a fool's game.
370
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,792
I need you to
liquidate the sucker.
371
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:39,759
Hey.
372
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,693
Hey.
373
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:41,628
Hello.
374
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:42,595
In here.
375
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,965
Hello?
376
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:48,468
Why are you taking up three
burners with boiling water?
377
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,603
It's a complicated recipe.
378
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,739
Hey, have you seen
the can opener?
379
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:53,640
Oh.
380
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,575
You mean this can opener?
381
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,845
I'm still working
on the tomatoes.
382
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,813
Boy, this is tough.
383
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:00,981
Could take a while.
384
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,917
You know, all the
great chefs like
385
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:07,387
to personalize their dishes,
add that special ingredient
386
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,588
to make it their own.
387
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:09,689
You wouldn't.
388
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,191
There are no kidney
beans in ratatouille.
389
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,459
Well, there are now.
390
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,460
Ugh.
391
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,301
Ugh.
392
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,936
I am sweltering
under this thing.
393
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:26,874
Would either of you really
mind if I got naked?
394
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:27,774
Uh, yeah, we would mind.
395
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:28,675
Yeah, yeah.
396
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:29,910
Please remain clothed.
397
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,810
Ugh.
398
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:31,912
Give it up, Ben.
399
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,181
Why don't you just come
and join the circle?
400
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,248
The circle?
401
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,149
OK.
402
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,184
Work with me here, Judith.
403
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,052
Would anyone like
to air a grievance?
404
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,120
Yeah.
405
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,422
Yeah, I'd like to air
a grievance, yeah.
406
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:45,258
My particular grievance
concerns a certain power tool
407
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,394
that rhymes with Phil and kill.
408
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,062
Why are you so
obsessed with that drill?
409
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,330
You already bought a new one.
410
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,999
I'm not obsessed
with the drill.
411
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,134
I merely want my property back.
412
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:58,605
Ben, what does this particular
drill represent to you?
413
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,207
$89.99 at Home Depot.
414
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,341
Oh, come on, Ben.
415
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,742
Dig deeper.
416
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,913
Why don't you take us back to
the root of the incident, OK?
417
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,915
Fine.
418
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,617
Last time I saw that
drill was 12 years ago.
419
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,985
I was building a fence.
420
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,954
Just as I was about to
drill in the last board--
421
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,288
Bob?
Hey, Bob.
422
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,323
Bob?
Bob?
423
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:17,224
Bob?
Bob?
424
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,326
It's Ben.
What's up?
425
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,693
New development in
the Lewinsky scandal?
426
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:21,694
No.
427
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,063
- Microsoft release Windows 98?
- No.
428
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,131
- Mark McGwire--
- No.
429
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,132
I need to borrow your drill.
430
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,033
It's an emergency.
431
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,935
Ah.
432
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,269
Thanks, Brad.
433
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,170
It's Ben.
434
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:33,206
And I need that back.
435
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,107
Oh, yeah.
436
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,242
I remember that now.
437
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,710
I needed it to
hang that picture.
438
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,979
Uh-huh.
439
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,814
Because of that, I never got
to finish the fence, which
440
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,684
led to the loose board,
which led to Tom and Jessie
441
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,819
talking through the gap,
and falling in love,
442
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,958
and getting married at 18, and
then fights over Sunday dinner,
443
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,593
and then me coming over
to this godforsaken garage
444
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,228
with a bottle of
our best Bordeaux,
445
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,665
and then us all
being stuck in here
446
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,101
together for the
entire damn day.
447
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:07,607
And that, Phil,
that's why I'm so
448
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,342
obsessed with the stupid drill.
449
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:14,614
I'm sorry.
450
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,849
I didn't know you
were mentally ill.
451
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:17,784
See?
452
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:20,387
Waste of time.
453
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,289
- Ben.
- What?
454
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,692
The kids didn't get married
because of a gap in the fence.
455
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,927
They did it because
they love each other.
456
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,530
Here comes Dr. Tara.
457
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,765
Whether we like it or
not, we're family now.
458
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:36,970
So less mocking, more talking.
459
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:40,140
Someone's been reading
too many Starbucks cups.
460
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,608
[laughter]
461
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,609
Good one, dear.
462
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,011
Thank you, dear.
463
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,746
If we were family, there'd be
fewer secrets, wouldn't there?
464
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,982
Such as the location of a
certain protein product, huh,
465
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,217
Phil?
466
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,651
Where is that, Phil?
Where is the protein product?
467
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,053
What are you talking about?
What is he talking about?
468
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,087
Come on.
Where is it?
469
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,322
Up here, huh?
Here?
470
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,323
- Dude, no.
- Up here?
471
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,924
[crashing]
472
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,131
Ugh.
473
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:05,032
Ah, hey, come on.
474
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:06,299
It's a drill.
475
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,668
It doesn't mean it's the drill.
476
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,375
Property of Benjamin Bellow.
477
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,348
Mine's ready.
478
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,782
Yours?
479
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,683
Ready.
480
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,455
[coughing]
481
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,326
Could be an acquired taste.
482
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,227
Don't patronize me.
483
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,862
It's awful.
484
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,965
Then again, I didn't have beans.
485
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:39,866
Let's try mine.
486
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,637
Not bad.
487
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,373
If you like it watery.
488
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,540
Fine.
489
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,608
I'll let it reduce.
490
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,210
- Any other comments?
- It's brilliant.
491
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,111
OK?
492
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,279
Is that what you want to hear?
493
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,280
You were right.
I was wrong.
494
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,681
I'm too rigid.
You're awesome.
495
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:55,582
You win.
496
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,154
That was strangely
unenjoyable.
497
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:05,558
Geez, I don't know
what to say, Ben.
498
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,228
I was sure I returned this.
499
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,697
You were right, and I was wrong.
500
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,499
This is strangely unenjoyable.
501
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,733
You win.
502
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,967
You are the better man.
503
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,172
Oh, come on, Phil.
504
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,207
Buck up.
505
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,574
We all make mistakes, huh?
506
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:25,078
Like just last week, I said
guilty, and I meant not guilty.
507
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,480
That's mighty big
of you to admit.
508
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:33,120
Well, you know, truth be told,
I can I guess on rare occasions
509
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,221
be considered a little--
510
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,288
Tightass?
511
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,656
Rigid.
512
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,358
Let's go with rigid here.
513
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,426
Wow.
514
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,760
Congratulations.
515
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,230
Ben, you just had a
real breakthrough there.
516
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,697
Judith, is there
anything that you would
517
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,299
like to share with the group?
518
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,800
I have to go to the bathroom.
519
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:48,701
Come on, honey.
520
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,602
Dig deeper.
521
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,870
It's fun.
- No, no.
522
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:51,971
It's OK.
523
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,606
I'll share what I've learned.
524
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,408
I should have been more
persistent in having
525
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:56,809
Phil fix that doorknob.
526
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,313
I just was really afraid to turn
into a nagging wife like Jud--
527
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,648
Judas.
528
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,550
You know, I haven't read
the Gospels in a while, but--
529
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:04,451
Just hold on a minute.
530
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,618
That is not fair.
531
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:06,719
I do not nag.
532
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,522
And maybe you should
think before you speak.
533
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,760
If I've said it once,
I've said it 1,000 times--
534
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:19,666
oh god, I'm turning
into my mother.
535
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,168
Would you just look at us?
536
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,170
We are sitting here
acting like children,
537
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,971
while our children
are upstairs making
538
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,607
dinner just to mend fences.
539
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,642
Mend fences?
540
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,645
You really drove
that one home.
541
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,080
Becoming your mother?
542
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,982
[laughter]
543
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:38,385
Screw both of you.
544
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:42,054
I do enjoy a good
ironic double entendre.
545
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,591
Well, I don't know
about anyone else.
546
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,559
I feel a group hug
coming on here.
547
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:47,460
Absolutely not.
548
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,433
Well, I think what
Judith is saying
549
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,868
is that we are uncomfortable
with any and all
550
00:18:55,968 --> 00:19:00,240
forms of physical affection.
551
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,275
I do think, though, it
might be time for a snack.
552
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,583
Sun's back.
553
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,320
Yeah, great.
554
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:17,324
Jess, you had more than
enough reason to doubt me.
555
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,526
I don't exactly have
the best track record.
556
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,027
Which I had to point
out like a shrew.
557
00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:21,928
Face it.
558
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:23,263
I ruined the whole night.
559
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,964
You were right about the
ratatouille being too watery.
560
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,933
Your attention to
detail is amazing.
561
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,369
But you were aiming high,
and I was playing it safe.
562
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,838
But that's why we
make a great team.
563
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,172
You know, we
complement each other.
564
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,341
We're like--
565
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,276
Sweet and sour chicken balls?
566
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:39,646
Uh don't bring the
Dragon into this.
567
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:40,747
Look.
568
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,049
I know that I overreach.
569
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,452
And half the time,
or 9 out of 10 times,
570
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,921
or 99 out of 100 times, I fail.
571
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,759
But then-- but then
there's that 100th time.
572
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,462
You were one of those.
573
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:03,270
Me and ratatouille, huh?
574
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:07,173
I'll take it.
575
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,141
[classical music playing]
576
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:13,446
Hey, do you smell
something burning?
577
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,748
Hmm?
578
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:16,649
No, no.
579
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:17,550
My ratatouille.
580
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,786
Do we have a fire extinguisher?
581
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:20,853
Relax, Tom.
582
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:24,056
I think there's one
in my dad's garage.
583
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,024
Yeah?
584
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,493
OK.
585
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:30,096
Or we could just do this.
586
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,244
Tommy.
587
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,614
Hi, honey.
588
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,015
Right hand blue.
589
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,518
I don't even wanna know.
590
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:52,952
[laughter]
591
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,388
Woo.
592
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,357
Your turn.
593
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,825
Mm.
594
00:20:58,925 --> 00:20:59,792
Mm.
595
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:00,760
So good.
596
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,729
Ah, mm.
597
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,096
Guys, we know it's burnt.
598
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:07,300
You don't have to
pretend to like it.
599
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,137
We were actually hoping
tonight would be about you guys
600
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:12,271
overcoming your differences.
601
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:15,074
Are you gonna finish
that, [inaudible]??
602
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,777
- Hello?
- It hit the spot.
603
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,679
Good food, good
wine, good friends.
604
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,147
What more could you ask for?
605
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:24,183
Hear, hear.
606
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:28,020
Did you say something?
607
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:28,988
Nothing.
608
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:29,922
I'm still hungry.
609
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:32,925
Is anyone up for
some China Dragon?
610
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,260
Mm.
611
00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:35,227
Chicken balls.
612
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,128
No.
613
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:37,630
I don't eat meat.
614
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:40,333
That's not what I heard.
615
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,868
[laughter]
616
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:42,935
[music playing]
617
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,672
MAN (SINGING):
Everybody's gotta elevate.
618
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:46,639
Right on.
619
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:50,810
Everybody needs a bit of a lift.
620
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,446
Right on.
621
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:57,249
Well, just as soon as he can,
gonna save up some money.
622
00:21:57,350 --> 00:22:00,152
Gonna take himself down
to the Tijuana sun.
623
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:03,823
Burning the sand, he'll
come home and do it again.
624
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,057
[inaudible]
625
00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:09,657
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