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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,574
[tv in background]
2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:10,078
What are you doing?
3
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,445
Trying to watch
the hockey game.
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,347
You'll see it better if you
stand in front of the screen.
5
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,782
Oh, hilarious.
6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,016
Anything?
7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,553
I think those
are hockey players.
8
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,689
I would have said hobbits.
9
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:22,990
See, now this bothers me.
10
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:23,924
I know.
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,459
I wish we could
afford cable, too.
12
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,760
But--
JESSIE: Not that.
13
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,596
We got a letter addressed
to Mr. And Mrs. Tom Bellow.
14
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,597
Oh, cool.
15
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,299
Out first mail as
husband and wife.
16
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,666
Yeah.
17
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,168
Or in this case, husband and
some woman with no name of her
18
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,503
own.
- No, you're right.
19
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:36,404
You're right.
20
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,738
It's an outrage.
21
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,907
Some people just make me sick.
22
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,675
Oh, fuzzy!
23
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:42,910
Who's Charles Bellow, anyway?
24
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:43,977
It's from Uncle Charlie?
25
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:44,878
He's the best.
26
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:45,913
Please.
27
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,881
He is obviously one
of those dinosaurs
28
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,717
who believes women
belong in the kitchen
29
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:55,723
darning butter and churning
socks, or however that goes.
30
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:59,260
He sent us a wedding
check for $3,000.
31
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,694
Good old Uncle Charlie!
32
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,063
[music playing]
33
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:06,867
[theme music]
34
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:11,672
THEME SONG: Can we find a way
that we could be together?
35
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:16,144
Is there anyway that
we could be together?
36
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:21,115
And oh, by the way,
baby, do you love me?
37
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,116
Yes, I do.
38
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,117
Yes, I do.
39
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,619
Yes, I do.
40
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,587
Yes, I do.
41
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,196
MAN: OK, buddy.
42
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,330
You're all set.
43
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,999
It's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,034
New wife within earshot.
45
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,203
You two are married?
46
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,671
Congrats.
47
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,738
When's the baby due?
48
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:45,639
I'm not pregnant.
49
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,408
Oh.
50
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,643
Check out this cable package.
51
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,745
Linen Network?
52
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:52,980
Fast Food Network.
53
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,047
MTV Latin?
54
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,783
Do we really need
all these channels?
55
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,486
And the Design Channel too?
56
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,322
It's the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
57
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,892
Sumo wrestling in HD, Jess.
58
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,060
We're finally adults.
59
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,529
Did we score a
deal on this or what?
60
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,897
Yeah.
We still got money left over.
61
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,131
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
62
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,600
- "Family Guy" box set.
- Leather couch.
63
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,239
Did I see a TV
delivery truck outside?
64
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:21,275
Or we could put it in a bank
so we can move out of here.
65
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,676
Whoa, joint account.
66
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,077
Are you sure we're
ready for that?
67
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:27,481
Come on, Tom.
I want to watch Bill O'Reilly!
68
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,616
Yeah, ready.
69
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,584
OK.
70
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,020
[music playing]
71
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:42,663
Benjamin Herbert Bellow.
72
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:43,664
What?
73
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,199
Were you looking
at Tara's behind?
74
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,434
No, don't be ridiculous.
75
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,735
- You were!
- I was--
76
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,636
I saw.
Ben.
77
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,803
I was not.
Stop, stop, stop.
78
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:50,804
You were!
79
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,005
Were you checking
out my woman, Ben?
80
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,541
No!
I mean, shut up.
81
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,509
Caught with your hand
in the cookie jar, huh?
82
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:56,544
Well, I can't blame you.
83
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,711
That is one fine behind.
84
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:58,612
It is not.
85
00:02:58,712 --> 00:02:59,913
I mean, I was, I was--
86
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:00,814
I mean, shut up.
87
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:01,715
Hey, guys.
88
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,317
Was Ben checking me out?
89
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,453
Oh, for the love--
90
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,787
Phil, you are an ass.
91
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:07,888
Well, you are the expert.
92
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,494
So, um, how much do
you work out, Tara?
93
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,695
Or is it genetic?
94
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:15,596
Genetics?
95
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,497
No.
96
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,499
I bust my ass at Aero Box.
97
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,568
Major calorie burner.
98
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,469
Oh, my god.
99
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,536
You know what?
100
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,071
You should come and
try a class with me.
101
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:28,208
Well, I actually have a
pretty intensive routine myself.
102
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,343
It's called Bodise.
103
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,346
[music playing]
104
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,521
Never trust a class with an
exclamation mark in the title.
105
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:41,555
Nice one, honey.
106
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,624
What, like you've
ever been to a gym.
107
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,559
It's not my fault guys
don't have to work out.
108
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,160
Excuse me?
109
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,430
I'm just saying it's
different for dudes.
110
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:52,633
We can be hunkie in our
middle years without trying.
111
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:53,767
For once, Phil has a point.
112
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,035
I mean, look at Sean Connery.
113
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:55,936
You know what?
114
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,238
That is such a sexist attitude.
115
00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,139
We don't make the rules.
116
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,208
We just enjoy them.
117
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,944
We enjoy being healthy.
118
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,747
So yes, Tara, I would
love to join you.
119
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,015
Great.
120
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,117
Oh, dammit, Phil!
121
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:13,654
What-- is that your beer bottle?
122
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,656
Just leave it.
123
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,296
A joint account?
124
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,331
Oh.
125
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,398
All right.
126
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,567
So just a few signatures,
and then you two
127
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:32,973
will be joined together
in holy matri-money.
128
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,675
Money.
129
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:35,743
Get it?
130
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,712
Anyway, um, this is a
very mature decision
131
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:39,780
that you two are making.
132
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,214
When I look at you
kids, I think that there
133
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,284
is hope for the future and for
your little one right there.
134
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,719
I'm not pregnant.
135
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:46,620
Oh.
136
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:53,293
Well, so this is the breakdown
of the money in the account.
137
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,564
Tom, I took what was
left of your uncle's gift
138
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,467
and the money from
your old paper route
139
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,635
and your bar mitzvah, et cetera.
140
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,739
And it comes to a
grand total of $3,425.
141
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,608
Nice.
142
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,111
And Jessie's
contribution is $27.50.
143
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,980
Almost 3 grand, babe.
144
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:13,881
Nice.
145
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:18,018
Actually, no, no. $27.50.
146
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,620
Oh.
147
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,390
See, I knew we weren't
ready for a joint account.
148
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,124
Who cares who puts in what?
149
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:27,995
No, what's mine is
yours, all right?
150
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:28,896
Sorry.
151
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,168
Thank you.
152
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,738
Hey, why don't we celebrate
our new account by going
153
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,940
for a nice, juicy steak?
154
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,141
Steak Steak.
155
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,643
Isn't that a bit--
- Oh, no.
156
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:43,544
Don't worry.
157
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,045
It's on me.
158
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,915
I'll have to ask my
wife, but that sounds nice.
159
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,016
[music playing]
160
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,751
INSTRUCTOR: Jab, cross,
hook, up the knees.
161
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,621
Snap, snap, back kick.
162
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,389
Jab, hook, hook, on the knees.
163
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,457
Snap.
164
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,726
How long is this
class supposed to be?
165
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,093
Two hours.
166
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,061
How much longer do we have?
167
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,963
Two hours.
168
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:06,266
It's just the warm-up.
169
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,868
Judith?
170
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:08,769
Oh, my god.
171
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,037
Are you OK?
172
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,039
JUDITH: Am I lying
down, or are you?
173
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,445
Guess what this is?
174
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,746
A really thin-crust pizza.
175
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:19,880
A gift from my dad.
176
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,115
A Grateful Dead album
signed by Bob Weir.
177
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,083
Who's Bob Weir?
178
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,217
Well, you know
how there was Jerry
179
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,152
Garcia and the other guys?
180
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,053
Uh-huh.
181
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,621
He was one of the other guys.
182
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,991
[tv in background]
183
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,029
Why are your sister and
my parents' refugee here?
184
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,731
They're watching
Spanish telenovela.
185
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,600
How much was the album, Jess?
186
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,068
Hopefully not as
much as the singing
187
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:41,969
lessons you got your mom?
188
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,571
You can't put a
price on dreams.
189
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,372
Can you try?
190
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,273
Fine.
191
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,042
It was $200.
192
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:49,943
That's outrageous.
193
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,512
Yeah, a little.
194
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,146
Hector's a woman.
195
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,047
Wait.
196
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:54,948
I got to see this.
197
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,190
Great workout, guys!
198
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,091
Yeah.
199
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,826
You know something?
200
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,895
I'm really impressed.
201
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,731
It's only been a week, but
you've really improved.
202
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,999
Yeah.
203
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,734
One day, I may even
finish a session.
204
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,973
Hey, I lost a pound.
205
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:20,874
Ha.
206
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,075
Almost lost three.
207
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,249
Let's say you and I
celebrate, hmm, with
208
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,418
a post-workout cool down, hmm?
209
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:34,221
What is this, some sort
of flaky Bodise thing?
210
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,491
Yeah, something like that.
211
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:41,529
Two martinis straight up, easy
on the vermouth, three olives.
212
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,764
You know, I don't normally
drink after a workout.
213
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:46,166
The calories are killer.
214
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,036
Make it two olives, hmm?
215
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,271
Yeah, and if
that wasn't enough,
216
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,273
she bought me some
kind of extreme waste
217
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,743
paper basket for 120 bucks.
218
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,178
Hey, I know people who would
kill for a trash [inaudible]..
219
00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,947
Yeah, well, the woman's
out of control, Carter.
220
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,414
You want to know
what's out of control?
221
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,750
This chick I'm seeing.
222
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,217
Dude, I think I'm in love.
223
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,185
Great.
224
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,353
Because I was
hoping we could make
225
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,688
this conversation about you.
226
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,557
Oh, great. 'Cause listen, I
really want you to meet her.
227
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:10,457
Huh?
228
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,894
Her name's Jane or Jen.
229
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:14,795
Janice?
230
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,029
Seriously?
231
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:16,930
You know what?
232
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,498
Names are just labels, anyway.
233
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,668
Why-- why are you
hiding your PIN, man?
234
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,336
Look, I-- I know it's 80085--
235
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,337
boobs.
236
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,238
Huh?
237
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,008
And I'm 35007-- loose.
238
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,209
We're team loose boobs.
239
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,744
Yeah, I had to change
my PIN when me and Jessie
240
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,546
got the joint account, OK?
- Wait, what?
241
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,847
You-- you changed your PIN?
To what?
242
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:34,748
Tomsie.
243
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,886
Wow.
244
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:42,556
Hey, look, it's like Brangelina,
but obviously much, much worse.
245
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:46,059
It was Jessie's idea, OK?
246
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,562
Holy crap!
247
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,764
My account is down 600 bucks.
248
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,000
You know, I wouldn't really
worry about it, Tomsie.
249
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,467
The bank probably
just made a mistake.
250
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:57,004
Yeah, well, I have a stainless
steel trash [inaudible]
251
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,005
at home that says otherwise.
252
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,172
[music playing]
253
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,341
Janine.
254
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,876
Tomsie?
255
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,844
What, like Brangelina?
256
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:04,745
I know.
257
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,479
It was Tom's idea.
258
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,883
And yet you're still
buying him concert tickets.
259
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,084
Your debit card's not working.
260
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,185
That's not possible.
261
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,887
My husband and I just
opened the account.
262
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,388
Your husband?
263
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,790
When are you due?
264
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,293
I'm not pregnant.
Try it again.
265
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:24,965
Sorry.
266
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,299
Maybe the account's been closed.
267
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,636
But the only person who can
close the account besides me
268
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:29,536
is--
269
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,772
Your husband.
270
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,207
You mean you're actually
having sex with a guy who
271
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,542
comes up with Tomsie?
272
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,545
Oh, not anymore.
273
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,216
You closed our account?
274
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,417
What was I supposed to do?
275
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,987
Leather-bound encyclopedias
for 300 bucks.
276
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,321
Have you ever
heard of Wikipedia?
277
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,556
It's called being generous.
278
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,491
And they're for your father,
who, may I remind you,
279
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,727
thinks Wikipedia
is run by Wiccans.
280
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,163
[tv in background]
281
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,999
And what do we need
new bedsheets for?
282
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,033
What's wrong with the old ones?
283
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,669
They have Buzz
Lightyear on them.
284
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,004
Yeah, and they
work, don't they?
285
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,673
Since when did you become
such a penny-pincher?
286
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,507
Since I'm trying to
save for our future.
287
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,608
We're 18, Tom.
288
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,077
We have the rest of our
lives to save money.
289
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,412
Why not enjoy it while we can?
290
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:16,083
A silver picture frame is
not my idea of enjoying money.
291
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,450
I bought that for
you so you could hang
292
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,286
your degree when you graduate.
293
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,253
Oh.
294
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,255
OK, well, that's very nice.
295
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,623
[tv in background]
296
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,994
Oh, what about this skirt, hmm?
297
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,696
OK, that one's for me.
298
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,763
What, I'm not a saint.
299
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:33,033
All I'm asking is
that you consult with me
300
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,068
before spending my money.
301
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,569
Your money?
302
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,572
For What happened to
what's mine is yours?
303
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,675
It's all mine and no yours.
304
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,609
[gasp]
305
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,147
That's what happened.
306
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,249
You won't get away
with this, Tom Bellow.
307
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,588
INSTRUCTOR: Left, right,
right, right, right, left.
308
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,992
Jab, pump, jab, pump, left.
309
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,128
Pump, pump, jack.
310
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,997
Oh, 5 o'clock class
already started.
311
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,866
Maybe I'll just wait
for the next one, then.
312
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,869
I am so sorry I made us late.
313
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,670
Please let me make
it up to you, hmm?
314
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,040
Well, we have a
couple of hours to kill.
315
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,307
Hmm.
316
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,208
All right.
317
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,478
What'd you have in mind?
318
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,747
Oh, my god.
319
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,783
It has been so long since
I've had full fat cheese.
320
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,417
I bet Phil doesn't
like counting calories.
321
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,888
Phil doesn't like counting.
322
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,090
I don't know if it's
the two martinis--
323
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,658
- Three.
- Three martinis?
324
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,093
JUDITH: Uh-huh.
- Hmm.
325
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,595
But I say to hell
with trying to stay
326
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,032
young and fit while
our husbands drink beer
327
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,768
and poke holes in their belts.
328
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,035
Exactly.
329
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,939
It is such a double standard.
330
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,241
Is that really the time?
331
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,543
Oh, yeah.
332
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,213
I guess we'd better leave now
if we want to make the workout.
333
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,248
Although it's still rush hour.
334
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,184
Might not make
it there at all.
335
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,418
Dessert?
336
00:11:58,518 --> 00:11:59,419
With
337
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,889
Barkeep.
338
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,958
Don't get me
wrong, I love Jessie
339
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:05,859
Oh, dear.
340
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:06,760
That's bad.
341
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:07,861
What?
342
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,162
Well, you've only been
married for a month,
343
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,697
and you just prefaced
"I love my wife"
344
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,165
with "don't get me wrong."
345
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,633
Took me years to get there.
346
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,703
No, it's just I
don't understand
347
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,272
why she has to spend my money.
348
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,175
I mean our money.
349
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,443
I mean--
350
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,479
Son, there's an old book
called "Men Are from Mars,
351
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,948
Women Are from Venus."
352
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:28,849
You've read that?
353
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,217
No, no, no, no.
354
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,618
I wouldn't read
that crap on a bet.
355
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:32,820
No, no.
356
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,354
The only reason I have it
was because your mother
357
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:37,324
got it for me as a
gift using our money.
358
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,859
So what did you do?
359
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,227
Well, the only
thing I could do.
360
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,062
I put her on an allowance.
361
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,131
How do you and mom deal
with the household budget?
362
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,200
Well, I tell her how much
money I need every week,
363
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,468
and she gives it to me.
364
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:53,506
So in a way, you're
on an allowance.
365
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,043
Anyway, I have to get
back to these bills here.
366
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,310
Doesn't Mom pay those?
367
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,778
Yeah, I just have to make
sure they're not addressed
368
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,513
to Mr. and Mrs. Judith Bellow.
369
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,916
[music playing]
370
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,188
Hey.
371
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,456
Thanks for coming.
372
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,958
I came for the free juice.
373
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,159
I have no money, remember?
374
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,901
I shouldn't have
closed the account.
375
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,837
I just want to make sure
that we have a future.
376
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:24,938
I suppose.
377
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,340
And a future for our children.
378
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,942
- OK.
- And our grandchildren.
379
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:29,910
Overselling.
380
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,810
Sorry.
381
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:33,713
Am I forgiven?
382
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,615
Me
383
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,783
You know I can't
stay mad at you.
384
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,588
So I guess we should
head back to the bank
385
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,223
and reopen the account.
386
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,858
I have a better idea.
387
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,899
You wrote me a check for $100?
388
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,566
It may not seem
like a lot of money,
389
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,736
but you put it to good use,
it'll last you to next week.
390
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,838
So you're putting
me on an allowance.
391
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,273
It's not an allowance.
392
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:03,310
It's a, uh-- it's a
sum of money that I
393
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:08,916
allot to you for personal
and general living expenses.
394
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:09,816
What?
395
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:13,954
Nothing.
396
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,755
No, you're actually right.
397
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,126
I'm gonna put this to good use.
398
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,995
[music playing]
399
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,902
The allowance wouldn't
cover new lingerie,
400
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,803
so I had to get a hand-me-down.
401
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,272
It was your mother's.
402
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,240
Oh.
403
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,274
[music playing]
404
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,945
Hey, little honey,
I've got the money.
405
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,913
Let's blow it all.
406
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,348
Is this Spam?
407
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,315
Oh, no.
408
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,516
The allowance
wouldn't cover Spam.
409
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,717
You're eating Spume.
410
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,621
Jess?
411
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,457
Hey, where's the toilet paper?
412
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,492
Sorry, allowance
wouldn't cover it.
413
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,426
You'll have to use this.
414
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:54,327
[music playing]
415
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,029
There's just no end.
416
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,331
It's fun, yeah, you know it.
417
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,067
So let's go blow it all.
418
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,068
To girl power.
419
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,569
To deep-fried zucchini.
420
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,538
To taking everything
society tells us to avoid
421
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,240
in the name of
form-fitting jeans
422
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,641
and telling them to stick it.
423
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:16,016
You know, the last couple
of weeks of not working
424
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,650
out together has
been really nice,
425
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,254
even if I did gain five pounds.
426
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,190
What?
427
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,325
What?
428
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,359
You just smiled.
429
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,394
I didn't.
430
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:28,528
I didn't smile.
431
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,729
Yes, you did!
432
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:33,366
You smiled when I said
that I gained five pounds!
433
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,302
That's crazy.
434
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,936
You did it again!
435
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,706
Oh, my god.
436
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,742
You did this on purpose!
437
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,745
Oh, my gosh.
438
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,647
I did.
439
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:48,848
You know what?
440
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,883
I thought that we were
finally becoming friends.
441
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,253
We are!
We are.
442
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:57,624
But when I saw Ben looking at
your assets, something in me
443
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,926
just snapped.
444
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,962
Will you forgive me?
445
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,198
I guess it wasn't
entirely your fault.
446
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,834
I mean, Ben was the
one that started it.
447
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,736
All these years of--
of being objectified
448
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,004
can make a girl crazy.
449
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,939
I can't believe that
we are still falling
450
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,807
into these sexist traps.
451
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,709
I mean, men don't
have to work out.
452
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:17,944
Ooh, look at Sean Connery.
453
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:21,214
How come they never mention
sexy older women, huh?
454
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,751
Like Sophia Loren or
Isabella Rossellini?
455
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:25,685
Exactly Exactly.
456
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,354
God, I wish I was Italian.
457
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,922
All the work
that we have to do!
458
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,359
They have no idea
what it's like.
459
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:36,963
Maybe it's time
they found out, hmm?
460
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,899
How could you return our TV?
461
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,501
Our TV or your TV?
462
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,637
I seem to have lost track
of what belongs to whom.
463
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,373
You did this to
get back at me?
464
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,241
No, I did this
to be responsible,
465
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,178
just like you wanted.
466
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:52,612
So what did you
do with the refund,
467
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,781
since you're so
responsible? now?
468
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,316
I locked it into
a five-year bond.
469
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,350
Five years?
470
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,385
Oh, don't worry.
471
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,053
The interest will be
paid out annually.
472
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:04,124
Consider it an allowance.
473
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,192
This is getting good.
474
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,093
Hmm.
475
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,031
JESSIE: It's like Tom's
living in the '50s.
476
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,466
Mhm.
477
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,935
Next thing, he's gonna
be calling me the missus.
478
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:16,869
Oh, God.
479
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,638
I mean, an allowance.
480
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,508
Have you ever heard
of anything so sexist?
481
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:22,409
Oh, yes.
482
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,310
Oh, my.
483
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,212
What's this thing?
484
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:29,382
Dad, are you even listening?
485
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:34,621
Jessie, um, don't get me
wrong because I love you.
486
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,256
Oh, boy.
487
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,058
Truth is Tom isn't sexist.
488
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,494
Tom's right.
489
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,862
You're terrible with money.
490
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:43,896
You always have been.
491
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,064
What?
492
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,499
I am not.
493
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,202
Give me one example.
494
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,937
Well--
495
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,373
It's called a
piggy bank, sweetie.
496
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:54,907
Now you can start saving money.
497
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,844
And I'm gonna get my big
girl started right away.
498
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,117
[ceramic breaking]
499
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,253
For dolly.
500
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,354
Oh, my god.
501
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,658
You're right.
502
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,927
Jessie, you are a
sweet, generous girl.
503
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:19,632
You're just bad at
saving money, that's all.
504
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,100
[tires squealing]
505
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:27,039
Is that Mom?
506
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,442
[music playing]
507
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,146
Something wrong, honey?
508
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,914
Backstabbing,
two-timing women.
509
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,416
That is what is wrong.
510
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,185
Drum circle cut
off your solo again?
511
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,719
No No, it's Judith!
512
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:40,820
What'd she do?
513
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,689
She draped herself
in the flag of feminism
514
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,825
just to get back at me for
having what she doesn't.
515
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:51,464
I mean, the nerve of that woman.
516
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,566
You don't see me
trying to sabotage her
517
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:57,937
because her house is nicer
or her grass is greener
518
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,807
or because her husband
is so ripped, do you?
519
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,342
Ben's ripped?
520
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:07,214
Yes, but I don't make
her suffer for it, do I?
521
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,548
Ben is ripped?
522
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,751
Ugh, that Tara.
523
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:14,754
She walks around with
her odorless deodorant,
524
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,791
her airy-fairy, come-as-you-are
propaganda, when she is just
525
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,293
as superficial as they come.
526
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,561
BEN: Oh, amen to that.
527
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,730
Yeah I mean, all
she really cares
528
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:28,067
about is her tight body,
her organic clothing,
529
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,269
and her hunky husband.
530
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,169
Yeah.
531
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,638
I-- well, that's what--
532
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,639
Phil is hunky?
533
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,841
Well, not in a
traditional sense, no.
534
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,944
I mean, you know, he's just got
those nice, broad shoulders,
535
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,379
those strong arms.
536
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,447
Hunky, you know.
537
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,781
Like lift stuff.
538
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:42,682
Oh.
539
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,227
Can I buy the counter
boy a ginger zinger?
540
00:19:58,565 --> 00:19:59,599
Don't worry.
541
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,868
I borrowed it from my dad.
542
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,303
He and I had a little chat.
543
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,071
Oh, does he hate me now, too?
544
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,706
Actually, he defended you.
545
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:12,412
Turns out I've never
been any good with money.
546
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,281
And you were right
to be a jerk, even
547
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:19,952
though you weren't because
this was totally my fault.
548
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,521
I'm sorry.
549
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,422
Me, too.
550
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,298
Does this mean you're willing
to trust me with our money
551
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,198
again?
552
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,367
Can I?
553
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,902
You can trust the
fact that I want
554
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,505
to save enough money so we
can buy a place of our own
555
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,007
and build a life together.
556
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,310
That's really sweet, Jess.
557
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,645
It's from the
Spanish telenovela.
558
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,546
But it still counts.
559
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:52,352
By the way, Tomsie is no more.
560
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,886
Our new pin--
561
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:57,290
80085.
562
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,224
Boobs!
563
00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,626
I love it!
564
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,160
See, that's why I married you.
565
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,061
[music playing]
566
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,497
When that sun goes down again.
567
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,803
INSTRUCTOR: Jab, cross,
hook, up your knees.
568
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,673
Snap, snap, back kick.
569
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,443
Jab, cross, hook, up your knees.
570
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:18,378
- Looking good, Ben.
- Really?
571
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,079
I mean, shut up, Phil.
572
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,581
Up your knees.
573
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:26,285
Snap, snap, back,
kick, jab, cross, hook.
574
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:27,887
Well played, Tara.
575
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:28,788
Indeed.
576
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,496
Should we get a bottle?
577
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:37,464
I'm in.
578
00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:38,365
[music playing]
579
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,367
Let's blow it all.
580
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,801
Come on, my baby.
581
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,636
No if, buts, or maybes.
582
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:47,707
Let's have a ball.
583
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,210
Let's paint the town
red with all my bread.
584
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,514
There's just no end.
585
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,483
Come on, my honey.
586
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:58,250
Let's take this money.
587
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:01,253
Let's have a ball.
588
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:05,224
Who knows how long
this will last?
589
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:09,095
For now, let's have a blast.
590
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,498
It's fun, yeah, you know it.
591
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,433
So let's go blow it all.
592
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,671
It's fun, yeah, you know it.
593
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,341
So let's go blow it all.
594
00:22:22,391 --> 00:22:26,941
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