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1
00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:02,283
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,333
Oh, snap, Janet Jackson!
3
00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:13,830
Oh, you just Janet
from 125th street.
4
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,316
Hey, yo, Marlon, man.
I am pumped, kid. Yo, man.
5
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,330
I can't believe my baby
brother
was a presenter
6
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,350
on the African-American
Nubian-Negro
7
00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:25,183
Colored Black People
Award Show.
8
00:00:25,216 --> 00:00:27,366
Kid, it was so nice to see
Rick James get that
9
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,366
Marion Berry lifetime
achievement award.
10
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,830
Yeah.
11
00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:32,116
I guess.
12
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,316
What do you mean, you guess?
13
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,000
Marlon, ever since you got
14
00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:36,333
on this sitcom,
you've been blowing up.
15
00:00:36,366 --> 00:00:38,133
The perks keep getting
better and better.
16
00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:39,233
We rode in a limo
17
00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:42,830
with Def Jeff
and Cheryl Pepsii Riley.
18
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,116
I know, but, Shawn, look.
19
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:46,383
All these people are
here
signing autographs
20
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,500
nobody's is askin'
me for my
autograph.
21
00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:49,116
I don't have no fans.
22
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,250
Marlon, y-your biggest fan
is right here.
23
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:52,383
- Where, where he at?
- Marlon..
24
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,660
Hey, what's up , baby?
You want my autograph?
25
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,233
- Hey. Come on.
- What happened?
26
00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:59,160
Me, I'm your biggest fan.
27
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,330
- Oh, you.
- Sign my autograph, kid.
28
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:02,166
Come on, hook a brother up.
29
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,830
- Alright.
- Sign my autograph.
30
00:01:04,116 --> 00:01:06,500
That's sweet of you.
31
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:07,133
Alright.
32
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:11,000
To my brother Shawn
33
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:12,233
my number one fan
34
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,316
- Oh, snap, J. J. Fad!
- I love you, boy.
35
00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:15,200
[blabbing]
36
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:19,100
- Marlon!
- Help me.
37
00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:21,250
Give me your pen! Thanks.
38
00:01:21,283 --> 00:01:23,316
[theme music]
39
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:26,233
♪ We're brothers ♪
40
00:01:26,266 --> 00:01:29,166
♪ We're happy and we're
singing and we're colored ♪
41
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,100
♪ Gimme a high five ♪
42
00:01:33,133 --> 00:01:35,300
(male #1)
'Alright. Cut and print.
Beautiful, guys.'
43
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,500
'Dynamite.'
44
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:39,160
[theme music]
45
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,200
[upbeat music]
46
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,100
Shawn, how did you
get the editor
47
00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:10,366
from "Ghetto Jive" magazine
48
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,383
to put a article in there
about Marlon?
49
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,830
You must've pulled
a lot of strings.
50
00:02:15,116 --> 00:02:16,216
Pop, the name of the magazine
51
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,150
is called "Ghetto Jive", okay?
52
00:02:18,183 --> 00:02:20,216
Last week, they had an article
about "How to take the boot
53
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,500
off your car with a spam key."
54
00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:24,133
[laughs]
55
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:25,316
- 'Come on, man.'
- What's the deal, yo?
56
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,283
- What's up, big-time?
- Chillin', papo.
57
00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:29,660
(Pops)
'Hey, son, how're you doing?'
58
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,150
- What's up, man?
- Yo, man, do me a favor.
59
00:02:31,183 --> 00:02:32,216
Go s-stack this on pile
60
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,830
of "Ghetto Jive" magazines
on the shelf.
61
00:02:34,116 --> 00:02:36,366
Yes, sir, Mr. Shawn. Ha ha.
62
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,366
You see anything interesting
on the cover, son?
63
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,200
Oh, yeah.
64
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:44,183
They're gonna put ODB
on a two-dollar full stamp!
65
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,383
[chuckles]
66
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,216
- Oh, Shawn, look at..
- What?
67
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,100
- There's a article about me!
- Right, yeah.
68
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:53,283
Check this out, pop.
Look it here.
69
00:02:53,316 --> 00:02:55,660
Hey, I felt bad for
you
the other day
70
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,250
so I pulled some strings.
71
00:02:56,283 --> 00:02:58,300
Yep, and it paid off till
they got you in a great
location
72
00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:59,333
right next to, look
73
00:02:59,366 --> 00:03:02,350
"The Giant Booty of the week."
74
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,000
And she is fine too.
75
00:03:06,330 --> 00:03:08,500
Look, you can barely
see the knife wound.
76
00:03:09,216 --> 00:03:11,166
Yeah, but should she
be drinking that 40 ounce
77
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,330
while she's pregnant?
78
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:17,330
Yo, I put a lot of good
things
in this magazine about
you.
79
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:19,000
Marlon, I didn't know
80
00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:20,383
you were a bed-wetter.
81
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:24,350
Kid, why are you
tryin' to play me, Shawn?
82
00:03:24,383 --> 00:03:26,166
You know I stopped
doing that two years ago.
83
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,216
Don't worry about it, man.
84
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,333
Maybe you can sign some rubber
sheets for Planet Hollywood.
85
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,366
You can clear it all up,
son,
when the people
86
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,150
write into your fan-club.
87
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,333
- I got a fan-club, pop?
- That's right, kid.
88
00:03:39,366 --> 00:03:41,316
And I set you up
with some personal appearances
89
00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:44,200
and pop got you a webpage
on the internet, now what?
90
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,266
And I got some great ideas
for your webpage.
91
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:50,100
Pops, I didn't know you knew
anything about the internet.
92
00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:52,383
Oh, Dee, I've had
a website for over a year.
93
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,660
Yes, I have.
94
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,660
I use it to sell
chili recipes, poems
95
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:59,660
and every Wednesday,
I have a live sex show.
96
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,300
Oh, please..
97
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,830
My God, come to think of it
98
00:04:03,116 --> 00:04:05,160
I got to hurry up,
show time is in an hour.
99
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:09,000
[instrumental music]
100
00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:14,100
- What's the deal, papo?
- What's up, baby boy?
101
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:15,300
You got some mail
on the table.
102
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:16,383
Oh, thank you.
103
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,000
All this is for me? Oh, my God!
104
00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:22,000
Shawn, look in here,
the girls are sending me
105
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,330
their panty drawers, brother.
106
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,250
- That's my laundry, stupid.
- Ew!
107
00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:30,216
Here's your fan-mail.
108
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,160
- Oh, cool.
- Right here.
109
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,250
I'm glad, I couldn't
read
all this anyway.
110
00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:37,250
I'll be cock-eyed
like the lead singer from
Onyx.
111
00:04:37,283 --> 00:04:39,183
[imitating Sonny Seeza]
No jack moves, son!
112
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:41,216
Yeah, baby.
113
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,183
You kinda dumb,
you're little slow.
114
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,133
- Oh, shut up, read it.
- I'll read it for you.
115
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,300
"Dear Marlon,
I really enjoy your show.
116
00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:52,000
"My friends and I get together
every Tuesday night to watch
it.
117
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:54,350
"We think you have
the sexiest butt on TV."
118
00:04:54,383 --> 00:04:57,150
I told you
the butt-blaster
works.
119
00:04:57,183 --> 00:04:59,000
Shawn, Shawn,
look at that
butt.
120
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:00,166
- Look at that.
- Yo, come on, man.
121
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,366
Come on, man, stop.
122
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,116
- What?
- Little butt cheeks.
123
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:05,283
- Like the small letter W.
- Ha ha.
124
00:05:05,316 --> 00:05:08,316
"I kiss your picture every
night
before I dream about you.
125
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,330
Ah, yeah.
126
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:12,160
"Gotta go. Love, Terence."
127
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,116
Whoa!
128
00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:14,350
Ha! "Cell block D."
129
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:17,216
[chuckles]
Terence better
write
somebody else.
130
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,333
- Alright.
- Let's see what this one
is.
131
00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:25,183
[imitating a woman]
"Dear Marlon, I have
written
a fan letter before
132
00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:30,500
"but your performances have
touched my soul very deeply.
133
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,350
"I'd love to meet you one day.
134
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:35,166
"Sincerely, Woof
Love,
your number one fan
135
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,150
Cynthia Martin."
136
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:38,300
Check it out,
she sent the
picture.
137
00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,300
- Oh, man, she is bangin'!
- Oh, snap.
138
00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:43,100
- She is fine, kid.
- Yes, she is.
139
00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:44,200
She looks like Vanessa Williams.
140
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,233
- I know.
- What's up?
141
00:05:45,266 --> 00:05:46,250
You're gonna write her back?
142
00:05:46,283 --> 00:05:47,300
I'm gonna do better that that!
143
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,133
- I'mma go see her.
- What?
144
00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,266
Come on, Marlon,
you can't do that!
145
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,100
Why not? Come on, man.
146
00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:56,330
Look, Shawn, she said,
I touched her soul very
deeply.
147
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,100
Now, maybe she'll let me
touch
something else very deeply.
148
00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,660
Yeah, right, well,
maybe Pops will start washing
149
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,330
his hands before
he cooks meatballs.
150
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:03,166
Alright, you can't do that, kid.
151
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,000
Come on, man,
why're you player
hatin'?
152
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,283
Hey, don't player hate,
brother.
Congratulate.
153
00:06:07,316 --> 00:06:10,160
Hey, don't hate the
player,
baby, hate the game.
154
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,150
Marlon, look..
155
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:12,366
Ain't nobody
player hatin', okay?
156
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,830
All I'm doing
is looking out for you.
157
00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,266
Don't you understand
that your fans
158
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,133
see you as larger than life?
159
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:18,183
And you don't want
to do anything
160
00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:20,500
that's gonna destroy that image.
161
00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:21,116
Oh, come on now,
I ain't gonna do nothing
162
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,283
to destroy that image. Ah!
163
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,100
If you keep diggin' that
far up in your nose
164
00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,216
you're gonna pull
a piece of your brain out.
165
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,333
Ha ha.
166
00:06:28,383 --> 00:06:30,333
Just listen to me, please?
Trust me.
167
00:06:30,366 --> 00:06:32,133
Trust what I have to say.
168
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,250
Stay away from your fans, okay?
169
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,000
- Alright.
- Thank you.
170
00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:36,233
- Alright.
- Alright.
171
00:06:36,266 --> 00:06:38,233
- Don't even try.
- Ha ha.
172
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,383
[door closes]
173
00:06:43,330 --> 00:06:44,166
[beeping]
174
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,200
Yeah, hello, Cynthia?
I mean, uh, hello, Cynthia.
175
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:55,160
Yeah, you'll never guess
who this is, baby.
176
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,300
Marlon Williams.
177
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,100
Hello, a-alright!
Hey, hey!
178
00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:01,266
H-hey-hey, loud mouth,
calm down now.
179
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,333
O-okay, calm down.
180
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,366
What you doin'?
181
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,133
Some yoga?
182
00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:11,830
What position are you in now?
183
00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:13,100
Okay, uh,
what's your address?
184
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,350
[instrumental music]
185
00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:17,316
(Cynthia)
'Come in!'
186
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:21,166
Hello..
187
00:07:26,183 --> 00:07:29,133
Hey, hey, hey.
How are you doing?
188
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,283
Uh, I think I got
the wrong apartment.
189
00:07:31,316 --> 00:07:33,200
Uh, I'm looking
for Miss Cynthia Martin.
190
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,216
Can you tell me
where she's at?
191
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:36,366
- Mm-hmm, well..
- Oh! Damn!
192
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,133
Who threw the brick
in your mouth?
193
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,160
Actually, she lives here.
194
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,350
I'm her roommate Phyllis.
195
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:47,300
- I buzzed you in.
- 'Uh-huh.'
196
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:50,183
Hey, are you doing? Cool.
197
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:51,250
[chuckles
]
Yeah.
198
00:07:51,283 --> 00:07:52,350
How you doing, I'm Marlon.
199
00:07:52,383 --> 00:07:54,830
- Nice to meet you
- 'Oh.'
200
00:07:54,116 --> 00:07:56,300
Long distance.
Let's keep it right there.
201
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:58,283
Marlon, I know who you are.
202
00:07:58,316 --> 00:08:00,150
Please have a
seat.
Come on in.
203
00:08:00,183 --> 00:08:02,283
Alright, now.
204
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,500
Your roommate must be
a pretty big fan of mine,
huh?
205
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,350
Well, actually, hm, hm,
I'm a big fan also.
206
00:08:08,383 --> 00:08:10,233
H-hey, you, you're
probably
the biggest.
207
00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:12,183
[chuckles]
208
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:16,216
Oh, I just love the article
in this magazine.
209
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:17,350
Oh, it was so sweet
210
00:08:17,383 --> 00:08:19,133
how you go back
to the hospital
211
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,183
where you were born.
212
00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:21,383
And you read to all the sick--
213
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,100
Yeah, that's great,
that's great, wonderful,
yeah.
214
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,330
Children read a lot, yeah.
215
00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:29,660
Can you do me a favor
and get Cynthia for me,
please?
216
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,000
- Oh. Ha ha.
- Thanks, be a pal.
217
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:32,200
Appreciate that.
218
00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:34,283
I-I'm sorry.
I'll go get her.
219
00:08:34,316 --> 00:08:36,830
- Alright.
- Oh, oh, oh!
220
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:40,000
Oh, by the way,
um, I made Kool-Aid for you.
221
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,250
I know that lemon
is your favorite flavor.
222
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,250
Well, actually,
it's uh,
lemon-lime.
223
00:08:47,283 --> 00:08:49,300
I only had lemon!
224
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,133
It's
delicious,
I love
lemon.
225
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,160
[chuckles]
226
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,283
Will you get Cynthia for me?
227
00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:58,166
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
228
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,383
Oh, wow.
229
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,830
Guess the girl
really is a fan!
230
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:12,166
Look at this. An "Everybody
loves everybody" lunchbox.
231
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,166
Oh, she got my program from
"Mama, What We Gonna Do Now?"
232
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:19,500
Oh, man..
233
00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:21,116
[sniffing]
234
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:23,183
What's that burning smell?
235
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:28,116
Oh, my God!
236
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,660
'What in the hell..'
237
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:35,250
God...these people are crazy!
238
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,100
This chicken should be
in a refrigerator.
239
00:09:40,233 --> 00:09:42,150
[intense music]
240
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,500
Oh, man,
I ain't feeling too well.
241
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,150
I'mma get outta here.
242
00:09:49,183 --> 00:09:51,160
Ah!
243
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,366
How do you like your shrine?
244
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,266
Well, you know,
I'm not, too big on
surprises.
245
00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:01,000
Ah, well,
maybe you'll like this one.
246
00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:03,383
There is no Cynthia.
247
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,333
By the way..
248
00:10:05,366 --> 00:10:08,333
...How'd you like your Kool-Aid?
249
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:11,830
Hey...Kool-Aid.
250
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:16,330
Mm, butt-blaster.
251
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,116
[eerie music]
252
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,266
Oh, my God, Shawn..
253
00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:33,133
...I had the worst nightmare.
254
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,660
I had a dream, I went
to this crazy fan's house.
255
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,830
And she had this
ugly behind roommate
256
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:39,383
I mean, butt ugly.
257
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,233
And her teeth
was all spaced out.
258
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,000
It looked like she
259
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:45,660
like her tongue was in jail.
260
00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:49,100
[dramatic music]
261
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,150
[screams]
262
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:57,660
Oh, it's about time
you woke up, sleepy head.
263
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:00,100
Come on now,
Phyllis,
what's with the..
264
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,830
Come on, let me go,
and where's Cynthia?
265
00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:03,350
Cynthia! Cynthia!
266
00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:06,233
[screams]
Cynthia!
Cynthia!
267
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,166
It's okay, I told you
268
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,183
there is no Cynthia.
269
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:12,316
I'm the one
that sent you the letter.
270
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:14,330
But t-the picture?
271
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,160
The picture looked
like Vanessa Williams.
272
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,500
That's 'cause
it was Vanessa Williams.
273
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,300
You tried to manipulate me.
You're gonna try and torture
me!
274
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:24,000
But it don't matter,
you can use whips,
chains
275
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:25,133
nipple clamps..
276
00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,330
You do have
nipple clamps, right?
277
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:31,283
'Cause if not, I got some
right
here in my back left pocket.
278
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:35,100
- Go for it.
- Oh! S-silly.
279
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:37,166
I don't want you for sex.
280
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:41,830
Well, at least not until
after we're married.
281
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:45,133
Negro, I ain't marrying you.
282
00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:47,283
Well, then you must die.
283
00:11:47,316 --> 00:11:49,000
Oh, wait, wait.
284
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:50,233
You didn't let me
finish,
I was saying
285
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:54,166
I ain't gonna marry you
unless I invite my family
first.
286
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,383
I'm sorry.
287
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,100
You won't be seeing them
ever again.
288
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,183
Hey, look here, Cavity Creep..
289
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,366
...my family's gonna
come
lookin' for me
290
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,830
and they're gonna find me
291
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,300
'cause they love me
more than anything
292
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,283
in this whole wide world.
293
00:12:10,283 --> 00:12:13,133
Boy, it sure
is nice and quiet.
294
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,266
Mm, yeah.
295
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,660
I wish Marlon
wasn't here every
day.
296
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,133
Hey, yo, Pops,
you seen Marlon?
297
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:22,316
No, son, why?
Did he steal your money again?
298
00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:27,366
No, man, he left me waiting
at his audition for three
hours.
299
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,100
Audition for what?
300
00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:32,200
For that new, uh,
"Planet Of The Apes" TV
series.
301
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,283
Oh, Marlon would be
good at that.
302
00:12:34,316 --> 00:12:37,660
Too late, they already
gave it to Biz Markie.
303
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,183
Biz Markie?
304
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,300
Yeah, they said he was perfect
305
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:43,150
'cause he didn't
need
any make-up.
306
00:12:43,183 --> 00:12:46,200
[sighs]
Oh! I just remembered
307
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,383
this morning, when I saw
Marlon, he was on his way
308
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,500
to a fan's house.
309
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,330
He went..
He went to that
fa..
310
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,233
I told him not to go
to that fan's house,
man.
311
00:12:54,266 --> 00:12:56,100
Why? It's no big deal.
312
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,283
Dee, he's going over
some strange girl's
house
313
00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:00,133
that he doesn't know,
that's claiming to be
314
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,160
his number one fan.
315
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:03,183
So? Years ago
316
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:07,133
I had the biggest crush
on El DeBarge. Ha ha ha.
317
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:09,000
Okay, okay. Alright.
318
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,200
- Close your eyes.
- Uh-huh.
319
00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:13,830
Now, think of El
DeBarge,
all light-skinned.
320
00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:15,283
- With his curly hair.
- Ooh!
321
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,116
And now think, all the
nasty,
crazy, freaky things
322
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,250
you'll do to him
if he came over your
house.
323
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,216
Go look for your brother.
324
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,233
- Go, look for him. Ha ha ha.
- Alright, I'll gotta go back.
325
00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:28,300
I gotta go back to the
apartment
and get the address.
326
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:30,660
Yo, pop, you coming, what's up?
327
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,283
No, son, I'm going
to that audition.
328
00:13:31,316 --> 00:13:34,830
Y'all say, I look
like Cornelius.
329
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:36,366
[instrumental music]
330
00:13:41,216 --> 00:13:44,660
I just wanna thank you
for changing my
clothes.
331
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,133
You know, it's kinda
hard going to the
bathroom
332
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:47,350
with these handcuffs on.
333
00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:49,330
And thanks for the baby wipes
334
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:52,660
they made me feel
real fresh too.
335
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,330
You're lucky, I have those
extra clothes lying around.
336
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:56,233
- Cookie?
- A-ah.
337
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:58,100
No, thank you.
They're
fattening.
338
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:01,266
I mean, uh, uh,
t-they're bad for your
teeth.
339
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:05,500
I mean, uh, uh,
just no, thank
you.
340
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:10,830
Hey, look here, yuck mouth!
341
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:13,366
You can't hold
me,
I'm outta here.
342
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,166
Get this!
343
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:17,350
[screams]
344
00:14:17,383 --> 00:14:20,233
I thought you'd try
something like that!
345
00:14:20,266 --> 00:14:21,316
[screams]
346
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,366
Now, you're not
going anywhere!
347
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,660
That's it! That's it.
348
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,333
[grunts]
Alright, enough of
this.
349
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:32,500
Look here, normally, I don't
practice cruelty to animals
350
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,000
but you're about to
get your behind kicked.
351
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:35,233
Come on. What you want?
352
00:14:35,266 --> 00:14:37,316
I used to watch "Kung Fu"
when I was little, huh?
353
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:39,266
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
354
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,500
[screams]
355
00:14:48,383 --> 00:14:51,660
Sit your punk ass down!
356
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,350
- Get up!
- Oh, okay, wait, no.
357
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:57,383
No!
358
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,200
Okay, hold on. Alright.
359
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,660
Now, keep still!
360
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,330
(Marlon)
'Hey!'
361
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:08,500
Wait, no. Hold on.
362
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,166
- Wait, stop! Stop!
- Aha! Aha! Aha!
363
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,300
Hammer time! Oh-oh-oh.
364
00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:14,100
[screams]
365
00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,383
[knock on door]
366
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,000
Uh.. Who is it?
367
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:23,830
(Shawn)
'It is Shawn William.
Marlon William's brother.'
368
00:15:23,116 --> 00:15:26,660
You in trouble, now.
You in trouble, now.
369
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,266
You wait, I'll make him call the
dentist. They're gonna get you.
370
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,183
You'll play along
if you know what's good for
you.
371
00:15:31,216 --> 00:15:33,500
- I'll bite you.
- No, no!
372
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:40,166
- Mm-hmm?
- Hey, yo, my man..
373
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,166
- Huh..
- Um..
374
00:15:44,183 --> 00:15:45,216
Is Marlon Williams here?
375
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:48,383
Oh, well, yes,
actually, he is.
376
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,200
Um, he's my guest.
377
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,250
Oh, and he's been telling
me
all about his career.
378
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:55,000
- Bye-bye, now.
- Hey, hey ,hey!
379
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,200
Why are you treating me
like a Jehovah's Witness?
380
00:15:56,233 --> 00:15:57,283
Oh!
381
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:00,250
Can I talk to him
for a second?
382
00:16:00,283 --> 00:16:04,116
Oh, well, no,
oh, we'd really rather be
alone!
383
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:05,183
Wouldn't we, Marlon?
384
00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:07,166
Y-yes, yes! Yes!
385
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,216
- 'See?.'
- No!
386
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,383
Um, well..
387
00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:14,333
Okay, well,
I, guess I'll be on my way
then.
388
00:16:14,366 --> 00:16:16,216
- Mm, okay.
- Hey, whoa, whoa!
389
00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:17,283
Um..
390
00:16:17,316 --> 00:16:19,350
Could a brother
get something to drink first?
391
00:16:19,383 --> 00:16:22,350
Uh, oh, alright.
392
00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:24,133
Thanks, dude.
393
00:16:25,116 --> 00:16:26,333
[door closes]
394
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:28,160
What is wrong with you, man?
395
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,300
I've been looking for you
all day long!
396
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,266
You're supposed to be at your
audition, instead you've been
397
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,350
flirting with Chewbacca Khan.
398
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:39,150
Well, I guess, I just
been
a little bittied up,
Shawn.
399
00:16:39,183 --> 00:16:42,316
What, is that all you have
to say for yourself, huh?
400
00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:44,216
No! Look out!
401
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,250
[grunts]
402
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,383
(Pops)
Shawn?
403
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:51,300
'Shawn, you here?'
404
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,250
Pops, the place looks empty.
405
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:54,350
I don't know, Dee.
406
00:16:54,383 --> 00:16:56,133
Shawn has never ditched
the newsstand before.
407
00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:57,216
I think something is wrong.
408
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,830
I know, I
should've
gone with him
409
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,183
to check out that crazed fan.
410
00:17:01,216 --> 00:17:03,283
It's up to us to find him now.
411
00:17:03,316 --> 00:17:05,216
Well, how're we gonna do that?
412
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,100
Well, first, we've to
scout
the apartment for
clues.
413
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:11,166
Fingerprints,
hair,
papers,
anything.
414
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,250
Good idea. I'll start
with the liquor cabinet.
415
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,330
Okay, go.
416
00:17:16,830 --> 00:17:17,200
Mm.
417
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,100
Oh, Pops
418
00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:23,183
I found a fan letter
with an address on it.
419
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:26,200
And I think I got a clue
at the bottom of this
bottle.
420
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:28,316
Hey, come here, come here,
come on, come here.
421
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:30,183
Come here, this is it!
422
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,000
This is it!
423
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,116
The crazy fan!
424
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:35,283
Yeah!
425
00:17:35,316 --> 00:17:37,100
Okay, let's go get my boys.
426
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,166
I'mma bust your ass
427
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,300
"Terence from cell block D!"
428
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:48,166
No, we gotta keep looking.
He can't go in no jail.
429
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,300
Not cell block D..
430
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,250
[instrumental music]
431
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,133
♪ Give us us free ♪
♪ Give us us free ♪♪
432
00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:57,166
Oh, shut up!
433
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,660
Hey, look here, Godzuki..
434
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,266
...you can't hold us too long.
435
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,350
My brother Shawn over here
is practically a genius.
436
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:06,216
He went to junior
college
for eight months.
437
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,266
So, if I came looking for him
438
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,200
somebody will definitely
come looking for me.
439
00:18:10,233 --> 00:18:12,316
Yeah, you're right.
440
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,160
What was I thinking?
441
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,100
I can't hold you guys
hostage forever.
442
00:18:16,133 --> 00:18:18,330
You sure can't,
so you might well just bite
443
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:20,000
through these chains
and let the brothers go.
444
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,383
Huh, no. I guess, I just
gonna have to kill you.
445
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,000
Well, I'mma put this poison
in your dinner.
446
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:28,233
Oh, I hope
you like
Rice-A-Roni.
447
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,160
Oh, my God, I can't believe
how crazy this lady is.
448
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,133
Yeah, I know.
Who doesn't like
Rice-A-Roni?
449
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,233
Soup-corn!
450
00:18:40,266 --> 00:18:42,366
- Oh, thank you.
- Mmm.
451
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,330
- Hey, man!
- What?
452
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,100
Put that down.
453
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,366
Why are you doin' this?
454
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,100
Marlon embodies everything
I've ever wanted in a man.
455
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,283
Oh, thank you, girl.
456
00:18:55,316 --> 00:18:58,100
Oh, I thought
you were better than the
rest.
457
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:00,150
But he's just the same!
458
00:19:00,183 --> 00:19:03,283
All he cares about
is a pretty face!
459
00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:05,350
And a nice booty.
460
00:19:05,383 --> 00:19:07,316
Hey, girl,
from here to
here
461
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:09,250
you got it goin' on.
462
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:14,183
Hey, girl, y-you do
have a pretty face.
463
00:19:14,216 --> 00:19:15,283
Ew!
464
00:19:15,316 --> 00:19:17,283
Oh, you're just saying that.
465
00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:20,160
No, no, no, no,
for real, oh, no, real
girl.
466
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,830
Your eyes, they're beautiful.
467
00:19:22,116 --> 00:19:24,333
They are a
prettiest
shade of brown.
468
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:30,830
And your hair is so
silky
and fine.
469
00:19:30,116 --> 00:19:31,266
And that's just your goatee.
470
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,333
[laughs]
471
00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:37,330
No ones' ever complimented me
on my hair before.
472
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,216
Oh, that smile.
473
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:44,330
[chuckles]
Ooh, that
smile.
474
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,233
They're like you brush
your teeth with
grenades.
475
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:50,500
Oh, sexy tooth
476
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:54,000
grant a dying
man
one last wish.
477
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,250
What's that?
478
00:19:55,283 --> 00:19:58,160
Rock my world!
479
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,283
Here, man, quick,
just eat the
poison.
480
00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:00,383
It's a lot quicker.
481
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:05,383
Well...I was saving
myself for Marlon.
482
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,200
But since he ain't
acting right..
483
00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:10,133
...I guess,
I can give you some!
484
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,500
Ay! Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Hey! Whoa!
485
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:15,250
Woo-hoo! Ah! Ow! Whoa. Uh!
486
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:17,660
Come on, isn't she a knockout?
487
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,660
Yeah, yeah, someone knocked out
all her damn teeth.
488
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,200
No, Marlon, isn't she..
489
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:25,250
Doesn't she have
like,
a beautiful vase?
490
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:26,316
It's a knockout!
491
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,830
The vase is a knockout!
492
00:20:29,116 --> 00:20:30,316
Vase. Knock out!
493
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,000
Oh, vase!
494
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,150
- Oh. Oh. Ooh.
- 'Damn!'
495
00:20:38,266 --> 00:20:40,233
Look, Shawn.
496
00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:43,316
- I knocked her out!
- No, you didn't!
497
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:46,160
[screams]
498
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,250
Boy, what's wrong with you, man?
499
00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:52,160
Hitting my girl like that!
Are you crazy?
500
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,330
Oh! I can't stand you!
501
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:57,330
Oh, you-you alright, baby girl?
502
00:20:57,660 --> 00:20:58,283
Yeah, I am,
but you ain't gonna be!
503
00:20:58,316 --> 00:20:59,316
Well, w-w-wait!
504
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:01,266
I'm not waiting.
No need of poison!
505
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,166
- Oh, boy!
- No, No!
506
00:21:04,316 --> 00:21:05,350
[indistinct chatter]
507
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:08,660
Hey! Put your hands up!
508
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,266
Now, where did y'all
come from?
509
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:12,233
Just hurry up!
I'm missing my stories.
510
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:13,350
Get outta here!
511
00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:16,233
- Oh, pop!
- Thank God, you boys alright!
512
00:21:16,266 --> 00:21:19,166
Oh, thank God,
you boys alright.
513
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,333
There you go!
514
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,116
Oh, pop, man
515
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:24,000
we were starting to get scared
for a minute there.
516
00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:25,183
- Yeah, me too, son.
- You're, you sure?
517
00:21:25,216 --> 00:21:28,660
It probably doesn't kick in
for another month!
518
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,333
Shawn, I just want to thank
you
for coming to get me, man.
519
00:21:30,366 --> 00:21:33,116
I'm sorry, I
almost
got you killed.
520
00:21:33,150 --> 00:21:34,283
It's alright, kid.
521
00:21:34,316 --> 00:21:36,160
You know, I always got
your back no matter what.
522
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:37,116
- Right?
- Yeah.
523
00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:38,350
But I hope you learned
your lesson this time.
524
00:21:38,383 --> 00:21:42,500
Yeah, next time I go
to a crazy fan's
house
525
00:21:42,830 --> 00:21:43,300
I'm bringing my own Kool-Aid.
526
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:45,116
Come on, let's go.
527
00:21:45,150 --> 00:21:46,366
[instrumental music]
528
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,150
Don't be wastin'
all this good food.
529
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:50,150
Man, y'all know
that ain't right.
530
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,366
- Marl, no, hey! Pop!
- Hey, pop, no!
531
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:53,350
Pop!
532
00:21:53,383 --> 00:21:56,250
[indistinct chatter]
37766
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