All language subtitles for No.Clue.2013.1080p.WEB.H264-DiMEPiECE

J-Jiminy cripes.

I mean, holy...
I mean, hello.

I'm sorry, I should have knocked.

No, no, that's fine,
that's... come in. Come in!

I mean, you're in already.

Uh, have a seat.

Oh, thank you.

My name is Kyra, and I, um...

I was, um... Jeez, are you okay?

Do you need a glass of water or something?

Yes, that would be nice.

I don't have any water.

I just realized.

You want, uh... Do you
want some, uh... Gum?

No, that's all right, no.

I just need a moment to gather myself.

I'm not thinking very clearly, I'm so...

I'm so frightened.

Frightened? Why?

My brother is missing, and I'm afraid...

Well, I'm afraid he might be...

I can't even say the word.

Dead?

Oh!

Oh, jeez, sorry!

I shouldn't have blurted that out.

I wasn't thinking.

Do you want some...

I should get a little fridge
in here or something.

No, that's okay.

It's not your fault.

Just take your time.

Deep breaths.

Okay, I'm all right.

Honestly, I'm okay now.

Okay, good.

So your brother is dead?

Oh, I'm sorry!
He's not dead.

I mean, why do you think he's dead?

He's just missing.
Things go missing.

That's not so bad.

Your keys will go, or whatever...

I can't find one of my gloves.

That doesn't mean it's gone
forever and ever,

vanished into the ether,

never to be seen by human eyes again.

Oh, I'm a jerk.

No, you're right.

I shouldn't assume the worst.

That's right.

In fact, you should never
"assume" because you...

it's just

that I called him
on the phone the other night,

and he was very agitated,
and he wouldn't tell me why.

We talk on the phone all the time.

We're really, really close.

But this time, I asked him what was wrong,

and he just kept saying,
"don't worry."

Well, there you go.

Well, then I called him the next morning,

and he answered the phone,
but he didn't say anything,

it was just this
heavy breathing on the phone.

And then someone was calling his name

in the background,

and then he just,
all of a sudden, he whispered,

"I love you, sis,"

and hung up.

Holy crap, that gave me goosebumps.

Did you tell this to the police?

With the heavy breathing and everything?

Well, there might come a point

where I have to go to the police,

and if it comes to that, I
will, but I just want to try

to get to the bottom of this

without involving the authorities.

Oh, that's never good.

That's not a good idea.
It's like plumbing.

You think, "oh, I could do this myself,"

and the next thing you know,
there's water up to your neck

and poop floating by... sorry. "Feces."

That's why I came to you.

I know I need to get some help,

but from someone
who could be a bit more...

Discreet about things.

Will you help me?

Please?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll do what I can.

But if it gets out of hand

and into anything weird or dangerous,

then it's right to the cops,

because, uh, I can only do so much.

Okay, I understand.

So, how do we do this,
do I pay you now, or...

Uh, let's just...

You know what, I have some other things

that I have to take care of at the moment.

So... Can we meet tonight?

Tonight?
Ouch. Laundry night.

Please.

I only get the machine
in my building on wednesdays.

Please, this can't wait.
It's my brother.

No, no, you're right.
Okay, uh...

You know what, there's a pub
down on abbott street

called the twisted rhino... Twisted rhino?

No, not "twisted," "tall"

the tall rhino.

On abbott street?

No... I mean "yes" to
abbott, "no" to rhino.

It's not "rhino." What is it?

Hip... hippo.
It's the tall hippo.

"Tall" or "twisted" some kind of animal.

It's the only pub down there
with an animal name.

Well, there's the swinging
weasel, but that's a male...

8:00?

Sure.
I'll see you then.

And your name is mister...
Leo. Just call me Leo.

Thank you, Leo.

So it's a missing persons case, huh?

That's about the size of it.

And, at no point during the conversation

did you think to tell this woman

that she's in the wrong office,

or that you're not a private detective,

and, in fact, you're a pen salesman.

It never came up, no.

And, I'm not a pen salesman.

I sell specialty advertising.

Sometimes, it's pens,
or matches, or hats...

the little foamy beer can cozies.

Whatever you need your logo on,
I can make it happen.

Oh, that's right, I forgot
about the hats and cozies.

Yeah, with skills like that,
you should be fighting crime.

I'm not fighting crime.

I know I should have said something,

but she just kept busting into tears...

Oh, okay, that's it.

-What?
-She's good looking.

You are so shallow.

Honestly, Ernie.

Who said she was good looking?

I couldn't even tell you
what she looked like.

I-I didn't... She's unbelievable.

A stone-cold, gorgeous dish
full of red hot fox meat

that was set under a hottie lamp
until it was smokin'!

Oh, my god, Leo.

Six minutes you're with this
woman, and you're in love.

You fall in love like a 12-year-old girl.

Let me guess, you're probably at home

practising writing your name
with her last name?

Probably thinking about names

that you guys might have
for your children.

No.

Well, I've always liked "Kyle" for a boy.

But it's not even like that.

She just seemed genuinely lost.

Like she really needed help.

And the detective guy
who's down the hall...

who's actually a detective.

He's out of town for two weeks.

I heard the landlord
talking to the fedex guy.

So he can't help her.

Neither can you.

Suddenly you think you're James Bond?

James Bond, the private eye?

Whoever.

In your world, James Bond
is a guy you can just hire

to hide in the bush

and photograph your wife
greasing the pool boy.

Whoever!

I don't keep a list
of detectives in my head,

in case I'm in a stupid conversation.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway,

because I'm going to tell her tonight.

No, you won't.

You're going to start to tell her,

then she's going to
flap her eyelashes at you,

then you're going to go,

"oh, my god,
she's a pretty girl!"

And then you're going to wet yourself.

Give me some credit.

I am giving you credit,

because you're probably
going to crap yourself.

Look, I don't care if she is pretty.

And she's not pretty,

she's a smoldering tower
of nuclear hottitude...

I got that.

She looks like that famous supermodel,

what's-her-name... James Bond.

Okay, very funny.

Did you tell her about me?

Oh.

Well, "gator," "hippo," same thing.

Hey.

How are you doing?

I'm fine.

You look lonely.

I'm not.

Maybe you're lonely
and you just don't know it yet.

I'm meeting someone, and
you two have each other,

so we're covered.

Oh.

She thinks she's too good for us.

I couldn't imagine someone who isn't.

Well, I'm very curious to see
your boyfriend now.

See how pretty he is.

See how UN-pretty we can make him.

Hidy-ho.

Sorry I'm late,

I wanted to get a load
of whites in the wash

before I left.

I tried to get Mrs. Beelman
to switch nights with me,

but she just kept yelling,
"no swapsies!"

Which, well, it is the rule,

but, still, lighten up, eunice.

Oh, sorry.

Uh, I'll have a scotch
and grapefruit juice.

Ow. What the hell?

Stop it.

We'll just bump into you another time.

Yeah.

You ain't even all that pretty.

I never said that I... Did
you tell them I was pretty?

Can we just get down to business?

Yeah, um, but I have to be
up front about something...

Right.
The money.

No, it's not... I can pay you $500 a day.

A-A day? 500 for a day?

I don't know what you're accustomed to.

It's not important,
let's get down to business.

What can you tell me about your brother?

His name is miles.

Miles severin.

He's a computer game developer.

He designs video games
for a company called glasskey.

Okay, um... All right, "glass key?"

Are you all right?

Yeah, it's just I should've
brought a notebook.

Like, one of those little
flip-up ones they always...

like I always use on my cases.

I'll just...
I'll use your napkin.

-You ready?
-Yeah.

-You sure?
-Shoot.

Miles designs video games

for a company called glasskey.

He's a pretty big deal, too.

He designed a video game
last year called "curseworld."

It was the largest selling game.

It sold, like, $200 million or something.

Are you getting all this?

Not a word.
The napkin's wet.

Thanks, this will help.

Listen, I couldn't tell you when
he went missing,

but the last time I spoke to him

was on the phone two days ago.

I just want to know where
he is, and that he's okay.

Can you find him for me?

Okay, well, let's start
first things first,

what's his address?

88 falcon road.

North end of the city.

What?

Can I have my pen back?

Thanks.

Okay.

Um... All right, well,
I'll head over there

first thing tomorrow morning.

Couldn't you go tonight?

Aw, man... Every second may count.

No, you're right.
Of course.

Okay, well, um, should
we take my car, or...?

I couldn't go with you.

I couldn't take it.

My nerves are shot.

I just need to lie down.

But please... Please go tonight.

I'm so worried.

Well, as much as I hated to admit it,

maybe my pal, Ernie, was right.

Maybe I was a sucker for a pretty face,

but her skin was smooth as a boiled egg

and soft as a newborn kitten

that had been rubbed
with a sheet of fabric softener

and then tossed into the dryer
for 20 minutes

on a delicate cycle.

Her hair smelled like lavender
and fried onions,

and her breath was warm...

warm as a fat guy's armpit
on a hot summer...

Ooh, here we go.

Hello!

Is anyone home?

Your patio door is open!

Miles?

Your sister is looking for you!

Holy... Holy, that's blood.

Oh, jeez, that's blood.

Oh, not good.

Not good. Not good... Not good! Not good!

Not good, not good, not
good... Not good! Not good!

Not good!

Yello.

Leo? It's Kyra.

Not good! Not good!

What's not good?
What do you see?

I'm at your brother's place,

and it looks like
his place has been trashed.

I don't want to upset you.

This doesn't necessarily mean anything,

but there was something on the floor.

Does your brother eat a lot of ketchup,

or spaghetti sauce?

Are you saying you see blood on the floor?

Or paint?
Maybe it was red paint.

Maybe he spilled paint and then got mad,

and kicked his furniture to pieces,

and went on a holiday to calm down.

That's probably it.
Mystery solved.

No, no, no, Leo, listen to me.

Just calm down.

Do you see anything

that could look like a clue
as to where he is?

Okay, well, um...

I'm looking around,
and I don't see anything.

Mind you, I'm not there anymore.

-You left?
-Yes, I left!

Because it could all be
evidence for the police!

We talked about this.

We are not going to the police.

We don't have to go to them.

We just call them, and they go.

They have their own cars.

Don't do anything yet.

I need to see you.

I'm an emotional mess.

I need to talk to you at my motel.

Motel?

Come in!

-The door's closed.
-Open it.

Isn't it locked?

A smart man could find out.

What kind of motel
has doors that don't lock?

I wouldn't feel safe sleeping here.

I mean, I could if I had to.

I unlocked it in case I was
in the bath when you came.

Ow.

Did you hurt your head?

No... Have a seat.

Okay.

Oops.

Phew, what a day, what a day...

Leo, you could sit here on the bed.

No, this is good.

It's like being at the beach.

Without the bugs.

Nope, there's some bugs.

Sit on the bed
and let me look at your head.

Okay, look, if we're going to do this,

there's something
you need to know about me.

You have a magnetic ass?

Thank you.

Yours is none too shabby either,

but first things first...

Oh.

Oh, hey!

A comic book?

Oh, it's just... You got
it wrapped up in plastic.

-You a collector or something?
-Yeah, kind of.

It's a fairly valuable edition,
so would you mind just...

All right, sheesh, I'll put it back.

Hey!
You got a hockey card, too?

What a nerd.

Yeah, that's a rare rookie card.

Hey.

Who collects licence plates?

What's this about?

That's a souvenir.

It's off a car from a movie.

Really? Cool.

Action movie I'm guessing.

Can I look at that head of yours?

Oh.

Oh! You have a bit of a bump.

Does this hurt?

No, I'm kidding, I'm fine.

But look, we do need to talk.

About the police?

I know.

You have to believe me

when I tell you I have my reasons.

Involving the police

could put my brother in extreme peril.

Is there more to this
than you're telling me?

Nothing you need to worry about.

Really?

'Cause you just used the phrase
"extreme peril."

If you do this for me, I will be deeply...

Deeply grateful.

Okie dokey, then.

I'll, uh... I'll, uh,
see what I can find...

Once the sun comes up.

Great.

Call me tomorrow if you find anything.

Right.

Okay, then.

I'm off.

Way off, apparently.

I'll, uh, I'll call you tomorrow.

Salmon are not able
to reach the spawning...

..You gotta take me
with you, eddy.

You just gotta!

I don't gotta do nothing, gorgeous.

That's one of the things
I like about being me.

But, eddy, if you don't take me with you,

they're going to know
the diamonds are fake.

Diamonds?

Listen, luscious, this stopped
being about diamonds

when my partner took a slug in the guts

for being a stand-up guy.

It's about good old-fashioned
revenge, baby,

and I'm gonna give your boss a snootful.

You didn't give me no choice, eddy.

Love's love, and all that's swell,

but you shouldn't try to pin
a cat in a corner.

That's funny... I always
heard that about rats.

Jeez.

Have a good sleep.

Okay.

You know, I know you don't want to.

Okay, nobody wants to.

Because it's called a paycheque.

Okay, because it's called
a job, dipwad, okay?

Like, look into it.

You know what, I got to go.

Okay?

Okay, text me later.

Can you believe that guy?

What're you gonna do?

Can I help you?

Yes, I'm here to see the big man.

Who?

The big man.
The big guy.

The big boss man.

El capitain.

Captain kahuna.

The big cheese... Wheel.

Mr. Horn?

Yes, Mr. Horn.

Old hornsie.

How is the old hornswaggle doing
these days?

The old horndog.

Mr. Horn. Is he in?

No.

Ah.

Well... See ya, Jake.

See ya, Jake.

Those are short shorts for a big man.

Who are you?

Who am I?

You don't know who I am?

Oh, are... Are you the caterer?

Bingo.

That's me.

Bingo catering ltd.

I, uh, just came by

to see what kind of event
I would be catering...

that is to say, what type
of event, per se, and, uh,

any allergies?

The party's tonight.

You probably should have
asked these questions,

like, a week ago.

Oh, no, there's actually
not that much planning

involved in catering.

It's a lot of improv.

So the event is tonight,
and Mr. Horn will be there?

Here.

Here. The event
is here, tonight.

Okay, good, yes, yes,
I can make this work.

Um, and what time is it?

7:30.

Great. Okay then.

I'll go get some hotdogs
and chips and whatnot,

and I'll be back about 7:00.

Hey, asslips.

Hey, fartface.

How's the detective business?

You shoot anybody yet?

Don't even laugh, I think
this might be more serious

than just some missing person.

Oh, yeah?

What's going on?

Well, the guy is missing,

but I think he may have
been taken by force.

You mean raped?

I-I don't mean... Well, who knows?

But when I say "taken,"
I mean "abducted," you idiot.

Like kidnapped.

I don't like this.

That's it, I'm pulling you off the case.

Time to call the cops, Leo.

It's not that simple.

I made a promise,

and when I make a promise
to a strange woman

wearing a bathrobe in
a sleazy motel, I keep it.

Did you sleep with her?

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

Didn't.

What's the story with the missing brother?

His name is miles,
and he designs video games.

Video games!

I love video games.

I know you do, that's why
I wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, I just bought the new playbox.

I thought you had an x-station.

Now I have both.

Playbox and x-station.

Wow.

I'm still using my old nintari.

Anyway, this miles guy

designed some hugely popular
game called "curseworld."

Curseworld?

Oh, yeah!

Heard of it?

So I wait here then?

Check it!

Check it!

You own a copy of curseworld?

It's why I bought the playbox, man.

This game is awesome!

It's got vampires and werewolves,

and in the higher levels,

it's got a vampire-werewolf
hybrid that can fly,

but they still have wolf faces,

and they got these claws that rip flesh,

and when they attack, they're like...

okay, real good.

Thanks for the nightmares.

Yeah.

Anyway, this game made
a ton of money for glasskey.

What's glasskey?

That's the company the
missing miles guy works for.

This is a v5 game.

V5 gaming company.

They've been around forever.

Never heard of glasskey.

Hmm, the plot thickens.

...the big dog, the head
honcho, the cheesie kahuna.

Are you referring to Mr. Nelson?

Yes. Nelson.

Good old full Nelson.

Old Nelly furtado.

Is he in?

What is this regarding?

It's, uh, specialty advertising.

Caps, and pens and fobs.

Various fobs.

Key, luggage, what have you.

Fobs of that nature.

Mr. Nelson
doesn't need any fobs.

He might.

He might be walking around right now,

big pocketful of loose keys

rattling around in his pants,

saying, "these things
are driving me nuts!"

Then you'll have to say,

"well, there was a fob guy
in here earlier,

"but I sent him away.

Am I fired?"

I think we both know
the answer to that question.

Mr. Nelson doesn't deal with
salespeople directly.

-Okay, well, who does?
-I do.

And we're good, fob-wise.

Barbara, could you call bill

and make lunch for next Wednesday?

Yes, sir.

Is that him?
Is that Nelson?

Bye-bye, now.

Nelson!

I'm guessing that's Nelson.

How you doing today?

Do I know you?

He's just a salesman, sir,
and he was just leaving.

"Just" a salesman.

That's real nice.

How would you like it
if I said you were "just"

a secre... ceptionist or
whatever... What are you?

Get rid of him, Barbara,
and then come to my office.

You heard him.

It's time to go.

Okay, all right.

I just want to say two words.

Miles severin!

Who are you?

Come here a moment.

It's okay, Barbara.

At ease, Barbara.

I'm just gonna go shoot the shinny

with ol' Nelson Mandela here for a bit.

Hold our calls.

Now, who did you say you were?

Well, let's say, hypothetically,

for the sake of argument,

that I may or may not be
a private detective,

who was or was not hired

to investigate the
disappearance of miles severin.

Disappearance?
Miles is missing?

You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

This is a terrible shock to me.

I cared a great deal for miles,
and he will be missed.

You talk like he's dead.

Well, "missed"

because he quit
working here some time ago.

I haven't seen him since.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a busy man.

Yeah, so am I.

Swamped, actually.

You're lucky I could even
fit you in today.

Next time call ahead.

That was crap.

Oh, jeez!

Sorry.

Didn't mean to scare you.

I just felt that I had to say...

That was a total load of crap.

What was?

I overheard the whole thing with Nelson,

about him caring a great deal for miles,

and saying he'll be missed.

Old man Nelson hated miles' guts.

Interesting. Why?

Well, he created
our biggest selling game...

Curseworld.

Yeah, and miles wanted
a bigger piece of the pie.

The game was huge, it sold millions.

200 million.

That's the word on the street.

That's right,

so Nelson gave miles
a bonus, but that's it.

Miles told him to shove it

and he left to start his own company.

Glasskey?

Damn straight, glasskey.

That company is going to take
a fat chunk out of the market.

Oh.

That probably wouldn't be
good for this place.

And you work here?

Yeah. I'm Danny.

I'm just a junior programmer around here,

but I know what time it is,
if you know what I'm saying?

Word.

Uh, all right, well, thanks
for the chizzle my frizzle.

Daddy... Hey, babe.

Excuse me.

Daddy, where's miles?

I don't know where the hell miles is,

and why are you so concerned?

Didn't I tell you I don't
want you seeing him anymore?

Did you?

I don't remember.

Reese, I told you to stay
the hell away from miles.

If I find out you've been
seeing him behind my back,

I'm going to be very disappointed in you.

As if you weren't already.

Ooh!

Pardon me.

Hotdogs coming through.

Boy, you people can really pack it away.

Would it kill you to have a sandwich

before you come to one of these shindigs?

Excuse me.

Hey, who's in charge of the liquor here?

I don't want my daughter
getting any more booze.

I'm sorry Mr. Horn,
we'll see what we can do.

Do?

Don't give her any more booze, okay?

That's what you can do.

Yes, Mr. Horn.

Boy, the place really looks great.

With all the balloons?

I feel like I'm at the prom.

Well, thank you.

It's Mr. Horn, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't recall...

That banner is fantastic, too.

Where'd you get that done?

Banner-rama? Jeez,
they do good work.

Yeah, no, I didn't actually
decorate the place.

No, I guess you probably didn't.

I wonder if it was maybe
decorated by miles severin?

Why the hell would miles
decorate the place?

I'm sorry, who are you?

Leo falloon.

I'm with video monthly
computer game weekly magazine.

You're with the press?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm doing a big story
about the whole thing,

with the balloons and the grand opening

and all the happenings at glasskey.

What is happening?

Come with me.

I'm sorry, Mr. Falloon,

this is a private party
for glasskey shareholders only,

and I'm afraid that the press
is going to have to wait

for the official release.

The word is already out
about miles' new game.

The press is here.

Ow! You're pinching
the fatty part of my arm.

Okay, all right.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Yeah, real tough.

You're lucky

I don't kick both your
four-dollar-an-hour asses.

Or whatever you make... should be more.

I'll talk to somebody tomorrow
and get you guys a raise.

Raise your asses
up to your ears with my boot,

you try that again.

Wow... You showed them.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

I'll, uh,

I'll probably follow that up
with a stern e-mail, too,

if I know my temper.

Why'd they toss you out?

I made fun of horn's party decorations,

he got all pissy.

Daddy kicked you out?

"Daddy?"

Well, we'll show him.

He can't kick you out,
because you're my date.

Ow! You're pinching
the fatty part of my arm!

Okay...
Okay, well, this is good.

I just, I have to keep a low profile.

Let's dance!

Whoo! Whoo!

What's with your "whoo-whoo!"
Even more low-profile.

I already got kicked out once.

If your dad sees me in here again,

he'll probably call the cops.

Ooh... you don't
like cops?

Are you some kind of bad boy?

No, I'm a bad middle-aged guy.

So just cool your jets, lakita.

My name's Reese.

It was a literary reference.

"Lakita?"

You mean lolita.

Oh, right.

Well, if you read the book,
you know it doesn't end well.

Uh-oh, security.

Wow...

You really are a bad boy,
bringing me into daddy's office?

"Daddy's office"?

Okay, I'm going to prison.

May as well wrap my head around that now

so the first day in the communal shower

doesn't come as such a shock.

What are you talking about?

I don't even know anymore.

So, this is daddy's office, huh?

Wow.

It's pretty nice.

He, uh, strikes me as a guy

who's done pretty well for himself.

You grow up rich?

Filthy.

How did, uh... How did
daddy make all his money?

Ask him.

You work here, too, or
you just go to the parties?

I work.

I'm in the marketing
and testing side of things.

Okay.

What's the word "arrowpoint" mean to you?

Point of an arrow?

College girl, eh?

How about "blaster"
or "coldriver?"

That mean anything?

Wow, this is just getting
funner and funner.

Let's go back out there.

No, thank you.

Come on, it's a party.

Not a chance.

I'll tell daddy you're
snooping around his things.

I am thirsty.

Is there any punch?

Daddy, how did you make your money?

Aw, crap.

What are you doing with him?

I thought I asked you to leave.

No, you didn't ask.

You had two rented orangutans bounce me.

Mr. Horn?

Jeez they're getting bigger.

Church, good.

Is miles here?

No.

I went to his place, but he wasn't there.

And it looked like
the place had been trashed.

What?

What do you mean, trashed?

Trashed, busted up.

The furniture had been flipped,

stuff had been broken...
Blood on the floor.

It was a question.

"Blood on the floor?"

See, it went up at the end?

Did you call the police?

Police?
Wait, he's okay, right?

There's no reason to call the police.

Miles is a temperamental man,

we all know that about him, right?

He probably just got angry
about something,

had to blow off some steam.

Mark my words, he's going
to walk in here any second

and be very apologetic.

I don't like the sound of this.

He's the reason I put
my money in this company.

I'd better get word
tomorrow that he's fine

and his new game is complete.

You pigs.

All you care about

is how much money miles can make you.

Reese!
Reese, come...

I'm going to send
each and every one of you

an e-mail tomorrow explaining everything,

but I-I want you to trust me,

there's nothing to worry about, okay?

So, please, just carry
on and enjoy yourselves.

Well, that went well.

Yeah, I guess you're going to
write all about it

in your big article.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I don't even know
how to spell "bankrupt."

I'll, uh, I'll head off.

Wendyl welding.
Leave a message.

Hello, Mr. Wendyl,
this is Leo calling

from boffo specialty advertising.

I know it's after hours,

I just wanted to leave a voice message

to say I had a bit of a delay
processing your order.

I got called away on a family emergency...

Um, not my family, but
somebody has a brother who...

well, you don't need
all the details, I'm sure,

but, uh, long story short,
he's probably just missing.

Although there does look like

there might be some kind of foul play,

or some kind of... I'm rambling now.

Um, I wanted to assure you

I will fill your order for 250 coffee mugs

with the wendyl welding
logo on there, and the slogan,

"totally awesome welding" under that.

And I see we chose the Cooper italic font,

with a drop shadow...
that'll be fun.

That's... Fun mugs.

Hello?

Kyra?

Leo?

Hungry?

This is a nice place.

Oh, is it? I guess.

I don't know.

It's kind of cozy.

So? That doesn't mean
it's a date.

I never said it was.

Who said it was?

No one.

It's just two people having a bite to eat.

Two grown consenting
adults of consenting age,

having some food and consenting to talk.

I mean, you can call it
"a date" if you need to.

Relax, Leo.

I'm relaxed.
I'm completely relaxed.

Really?

'Cause you just said
"consenting" five times.

Will you order me a glass of red wine?

I need to use the ladies' room.

Yeah, me too.

Well, not the...
The men's room is where i...

but the same thing that you have to...

Well, I don't know what you have to do...

I'll... I'll...
you go.

I'm relaxed.

I'll order the drinks.

Hello, Kyra.

What the hell are you doing here?

Why don't we go chat outside?

Move it.

Good evening.

Hi, um, I'll have a rye and root beer,

and the lady will have
a glass of red wine.

Ah, very good, sir.

And what kind of wine would the lady like?

Oh, uh... "Red" was all
the information I was given.

Um, I'm not a big wine guy.

Um... chabonnay?

Is that a thing?

Not that I'm aware of.

Savonay? Savonito?

No.

Molay?

I believe that is
a Mexican chocolate sauce.

Ooh, that sounds good, too.

But you know what, I, uh,
I'm going to need your help.

Could you just bring a glass of red wine?

Like a nice one?

One that makes me look like
I know what I'm doing?

I will pick a nice wine.

I doubt it will make anyone think

you know what you're doing.

Well, I don't know what I'm doing

when it comes to leaving a tip either.

Why are you following me?

I didn't do anything.

I am not following you.

Oh, really?

I'm supposed to believe

this is some kind of coincidence.

No, I think there's a lot
more to it than that,

so why don't you fill me in?

I don't know what you're talking about?

Let's bypass the whole
little miss innocent routine

and get right to the part
where you tell me

what you're doing with a private eye.

Okay, come on, let's go, my turn.

Okay...

Nope.

...he's just a guy I met.

I meet guys once in a while,
is that okay with you?

Kyra?

First, tell me
what's with the private eye,

and why he's sniffing around glasskey.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Seriously.

Five seconds to talk.

One... What the hell?

Two...

What the hell?

What the hell!

She's... she's like..

She's like an assassin or something!

She's... okay, all right.

Okay, you can...
You can handle this.

You're on a date with a killer.

No problem.
You can do this.

Just stay calm, just stay cool.

Just stay relaxed, this is
nothing you can't handle.

Play it smooth, just play it straight.

You're dead.

You can get through this.

Yeah... She doesn't know you saw anything.

Just... play it cool.

And have a mint.

Hey, here I am.
You miss me?

Everything go okay
in the old ladies' room,

where you were this whole while?

Yes, but I'm so sorry, Leo, I have to go.

I'm suddenly not feeling well.

Hey, no worries.

I'm not feeling so great myself.

Got a touch of the trots.

Probably best to stick
close to home tonight.

Thanks for understanding.

Ain't no thing.

Well, no need to walk me to my car.

Didn't plan on it.

Well, okay, then.

Talk to you tomorrow.

You do that.

It was insane.

She did, like, seven crazy kung-fu moves

and some ufc stuff, and
some kind of crouching monkey

drunken panda thing.

She's like a trained killer.

I gotta go to the cops.

So let me get this straight.

Before, when you didn't
know she could kill you,

you were going to keep
your promise to her.

And now that you know she can kill you,

you're going to break your promise to her?

How does that make any sense?

Sorry, I wasn't listening.

Look, if you double-cross her,

she's gonna chop off your head
and stuff it in your mouth.

Oh, my god, you're right.

What am I going to do?

Just keep doing the investigation thing.

Just keep her happy.

Whatever it takes
to not make her kill you.

Or me.

You've probably talked about me.

I'm in way over my head here.

I don't know what I'm going to...

get ahold of yourself!

You get ahold of myself.

Hello?

Leo.

Leo!

Yep, no, I'm here.

Where are you?

Why?

I'm just curious.

Oh, i'm, uh, I'm around.

I'm out and about.

I couldn't even tell you
where I am, really.

I've all over the city, investigating.

I'd have to look at
a street sign or something...

why? Where are you?

Who have you been talking to?

Uh, now's not a good time.

I can't really get into it.

I'm actually in the middle
of an interrogation right now.

And you're gonna talk, too!

Ow!
What the hell are you doing?

That's just the tip of the iceberg,

you greasy sack of pus.

Yeah, see?
I'm working hard for you.

Anyway, I should probably get going.

Leo... uh-oh, uh-oh, he's getting away...

-Hey, get back here!
-Leo!

Ow! You shot my leg!

I gotta go.

Leo!

Fine.

Sorry, dude.
I gotta keep it authentic.

No worries.

Whatever you do, you've
gotta keep her happy, right?

Get her some leads, you know?

Do you have any clues?

Well, I... I don't know.

Everything keeps coming back
to this guy, horn.

Horn was business partners
with the missing miles guy.

Horn has a big thug
with a gun working for him.

Oh, and I found... I found
this list in horn's office.

What is this?

Clues.

Oh.

Well, it's nice
that they put all these clues

in a convenient "list" form.

What are you talking about?

Well, they might be clues...

I just grabbed this off his desk.

I thought they sounded like
video games maybe.

"Arrowpoint." "blaster."

Well, if they are,
I've never heard of them.

You should to talk to a geek, you know,

someone who's super into this stuff.

Isn't that what I'm doing?

No, I mean a super Uber-geek.

I'm just really a part-time
geek, a weekender, really.

Oh.

Well, for what it's worth,

I think you have what it takes
to go full-on geek.

Thanks.

You know, I guess if you work at it.

It's like anything, you gotta work at it.

Hey, I do know a geek.

Nope, these aren't
any games that I know of.

Could glasskey be making these?

I doubt it.

It's a pretty long list,

and they've only got one designer.

Miles.

But he's some kind of
design genius, isn't he?

That's what they say.

You don't sound convinced.

No, he's a genius, sure.

Brilliant.

But even miles severin

couldn't be designing
this many games at once.

Especially since he's missing.

Yeah.

Yeah, what's going on with that?

I can't really discuss
the details of the case,

but let's just say I'm all over it.

Nothing's getting past me.

Did you dig into Nelson?

Who?

Nelson.
The boss here, remember?

Oh, yeah, Nelson.
Nelson, of course I remember.

I just, I give all my suspects code names.

So... He's "crimson."

That's cool.

Isn't it?

Yeah. Oh,
here comes crimson now.

Well, hello.

I see you're back again.

Or maybe you never left.

That would be funny if I never left.

If I spent the night here,

going through stuff
while everybody was at home,

which you couldn't prove I did.

Well, there's no need for that, of course.

We're happy to cooperate
in any way we can.

We all want miles to be found.

But this is a place of business, so...

And if you'll excuse me,
I'm just heading home.

Home?

Nice to be the boss,
heading home at 3:00.

Put your feet up.

Maybe a little afternoon
delight with the missus.

That was inappropriate.

My wife is dead.

That's even more inappropriate.

If there's nothing else.

Well, actually, there is something else,

if you don't mind.

I'm just, I'm in over my head here,

and you said you'd be happy to help.

Do you mind if I pick
your mind for a second?

Because you know more
about business than I do.

Of course.
Anything I can do.

Well, if miles doesn't
show... god forbid...

what would happen to
his new company, glasskey?

Well, that depends on a lot of things.

Yeah, but broad strokes.

I mean, it would be bad
for them, of course.

Uh, they have investors,

so it would be bad for the investors.

I suppose it would.

I can only imagine

the share price would drop dramatically,

and they'd all lose a bundle on the sale.

So anybody with a vested
interest in glasskey

would want miles to succeed.

So who wouldn't?

Present company excluded?

Maybe this isn't about business.

There's more to life than money.

That's true.

Although, it's always people
with a lot of money

who say that.

Hmm.

Thanks, Danny.

I'll be in touch.

Hey, no problem.

Hey, how did, uh, how
did it go with crimson?

Good.

He was actually kind of helpful.

He hated miles a lot more
than he's letting on.

Hey, what's the view I.D.
on the connections manager?

Why?

I need to make sure all
the clients are synchronized.

Just reference the subversion log.

Oh, yeah.

Who's the new guy?

Oh, that's j-bird.

He's one of our top guys, actually.

J-bird, a-train, t-Rex.

Guys, this is... Actually,
do I even know your name?

Leo.

With an "l".

L... l-ephant?

Best I could come up with.

Hey, uh... Are you also
checking into that crazy chick

who was after miles?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm all over it.

Refresh my memory?

Just some chick.

Desperate, crazy in love with him,

but he wanted nothing to do with her.

But she just wouldn't let it go.

Basically stalking the guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, the stalker.

"Buttersnap."

That's her code name.

Of course, her real name is... Reese.

Reese, yes, that's... Reese?

Hello, Mr. Turd-whiff.

Hey, crotch-rot, guess what?

It all comes back to horn again.

I just found out that
horn's daughter, Reese,

was stalking miles.

I don't know what any of that means,

but you seem excited,
so I'm happy for you.

It means horn's involved in this somehow,

and I'm going to find out how.

Although I tell you,

I still don't trust
that Nelson guy either.

These names don't mean anything to me.

And I'm not on the case.

I'm actually on my lunch break.

Break. From what?

Dusting?

Look, Nelson is the head of v5.

Really? Cool.

Get me some free games.

What shall I ask for...

Whipwars, definitely gotta have that one.

Tankface.

Ultimate tankface 3, of course.

Are you getting this?

Yeah, yeah, whoopyfish 3.

Now, listen, you're on the case as of now,

because I found out
that Nelson's wife is dead,

so I need you to Google around
on your Internet machine,

see if you can figure out how she died,

and was it anything suspicious,

because I'm getting
a bad vibe from this guy.

Tankface 3.

Not whoopyface... All
right, so Nelson, is that right?

V5... Any other details!

No, that's all I got.

God, this is disgusting.

What do you wash
your dishes with, margarine?

Just get a bottle of
water out of the fridge.

Just see what you can find out for now

and then call me back.

I gotta go.

I just had an idea.

Uh, how am I getting paid anyway?

Since I'm on the case.

Do you got any bottles of water?

Do you got any big bottles?

Hey, Jake!

Did you... Wax your legs?

Can I help you?

Oh, great, thanks.

Oh, that thing must be 300 pounds.

It's like carrying
an adult pig on your neck.

Could you put it
on the floor or something?

Yeah, could you give me a second?

You heard me say it was heavy, right?

Hey, I'm looking for Reese horn's office.

Is that around here?

End of the hall on the left.

Great. Okay.

Oh, hey!

You can't leave this here.

I'll tell Reese where
it is, she'll come get it.

Hi, Reese.

Remember me?

Oh, yeah.

Tough guy.

You back to fight security again?

Yeah, these are my fighting shorts.

Hey, uh, you want to grab a coffee?

No.

But you can buy me a drink.

You seemed pretty upset

when you heard that miles was missing.

I know.

I understand I made a bit of a scene.

Daddy was very embarrassed.

I know he was embarrassed,

because he told me a hundred times.

What's your relationship with miles?

If you don't mind me asking.

Depends on why you're asking.

It's just, his sister
wants me to find him.

She's kind of worried about him.

Oh, really.

Miles doesn't have a sister,

so who's the slut that's looking for him?

Well, she's not a slut.

Oh, you're pretty quick
to defend her honour.

Is she your girl?

No.

You wish she was your girl?

No.

Huh. Right.

I don't think we'll be seeing you

winning any awards for acting
anytime soon.

You don't know that.

And now you're just going
to fire up a ciggy in here,

like it's 1952, and nobody's
ever heard of the law

or emphysema.

You would make an terrific nun.

Hey... What?

Your matches have the
striking strip on the front,

that is wild.

Normally, for safety reasons,

the strip's supposed to be on the back.

Wow, you are really hung up on rules.

No, it's 'cause I haven't
seen this since, like, the '70s.

Where'd you find these?

Never mind where I found them.

It doesn't matter.

Okay, I'm just saying.

Who cares about matches?

You know, I'm tired of
your snooping around,

and I need to get back to work.

Matchco the match company.

Phyllis?
It's Leo from boffo.

Oh, hey, Leo!
How you doing?

You get that catalogue I sent you?

It's got some pretty cool stuff
in it, huh?

Well... matches mostly.

Yeah, but new styles.

-Not really.
-Not really, no.

Listen, I'm calling with a question.

Suppose I had a client

who wanted to order some matchbooks,

but he wanted to have the striking strip

on the front of the matches.

What, does he have a death-wish?

Phyllis... that's not safe!

It's just a hypothetical,
I don't actually...

One wrong spark,
and that whole book lights up.

Phyllis, there isn't really...

You have to talk him out of it, Leo.

He won't listen.

He's a crazy thrill-seeking
daredevil from a circus.

So just answer the question...

does anybody still make matches like that?

Not in this country.

Thank god.

Hmm.

I saw a pack today.

Where would those have come from?

Best guess? China.

And voila!

Want a room?

Good lord, no.

I mean, yes.

What I mean is,

I'm supposed to get
a room in the same hotel

as a buddy of mine is in.

I just, I'm not sure
this is the same hotel he's at.

Do you have a miles severin staying here?

We don't give out names of guests.

That's a good policy.

I could tell right away

this was a "security first"
type of establishment.

So, how about I just say his name,

you nod or shake your head, okay?

Miles severin?

You got a warrant?

Yes.

Good. Let's see it.

I lost it.

No warrant, no search.

Wait a minute, you think I'm a cop?

Is that what this is?

That's a riot.

A cop, indeed... No,
my friend, I'm no cop.

In fact, I'm supposed to meet a guy here

to smoke some crack.

His name is miles severin,
is he in, or...?

Piss off.

Regular dog, please?

No.

Come on, Alice.

No, I can't give you
a list of new businesses.

You did it for me before.

Three years ago, when we were dating.

Why would I do it now?

Because you feel guilty for dumping me.

No, I feel good about that.
That was a good move.

You're in denial.

The only reason you want
a list of new businesses

is so you can be the first one

to go out and peddle your novelty crap.

It's not novelty crap,
it's specialty crap.

And this is a much better cause.

This time, you could be saving a life,

or stopping a crime, or
ending a communist uprising.

I am so sure.

This is important, Alice.

I just need to know what you have

on a new company
called "glasskey."

I'll owe you a favour.

Great.

So if I need a swizzle stick,
you'll hook me up.

I could make that happen.

If I do this, will you go away?

I could make that happen.

Okay.

Okay, here is a list
of all the new businesses

that registered in the city
in the past year.

What's the name of the one
you're looking for?

Glasskey.

It's a video game company.

I just need to know who owns it.

Here it is.
Glasskey gaming inc.

Owners various.

They had an ipo two months ago.

Oh, interesting.

What's an ipo?

Initial public offering?

It went public?

Shares trading on the stock exchange?

Well, who runs the company?

Directors.

Two directors.

Miles severin, Terrence horn.

And that's it?

Is there any other info.
On that sheet?

Just look for yourself,

and please get out of here
before you get me in trouble.

Thanks, Alice.

As of this moment, I forgive you.

Forgive what?

You're welcome.

Oh! Ow!

What? What the hell?

Oh, that's some lovely
phone etiquette, young man.

Well, you scared my gonch full, you jerk.

I'm on a stake-out you know.

Jerk? You asked me to call you.

Oh, yeah.

Did you find out anything
about Nelson's wife?

Yeah, I found an old news story

from a couple years ago.

She was killed in a hit-and-run.

Hit-and-run?

Yup.

She was crossing the street,

in front of the v5 office building.

Yikes.

Was Nelson ever a suspect?

No, couldn't be.

He was in the v5 building at the time.

She dropped in to see him, and then, uh,

she crossed the street, bam.

No suspects. Never solved.
Does that help?

Oh, yeah, clears the whole thing right up.

Oh, hey, listen, grab me
some onion rings, will ya?

To go?

Bring 'em by the house?

Onion rings?

Yeah, what steak house are you at?

Stake-out, you bonehead!

Like Emilio estevez.

I'm watching this old hotel.

I think miles might be staying in it,

but I don't know why.

Oh, I found out some information
about his new company.

It's not much, but it says,
"glasskey gaming inc."

There's two directors, miles and horn.

The company had an ipo.

Now, ipo stands for...
initial public offering.

Their stock is offered public
on the stock exchange.

Well, it's more complicated than that,

but in layman's terms, yes.

Well, all right, see you later.

Enjoy your stake-out.

Don't do anything stupid, stupid.

Hang on. What's this?

I don't know.

I can't see what you're seeing.

That's not how phones work.

It says "arrowpoint."

Arrowpoint...

I'm looking at this list
of new businesses,

and there's
an arrowpoint holdings on here.

Arrowpoint was on
that list that I showed you.

Oh!

Okay, then.

Enjoy your fat steak.

Hang on, hang on.

"Blaster..."

Blaster holdings.

"Coldriver..."

Coldriver holdings.

They're all on here!

This is a list of new businesses.

And they're all holding companies.

What does that mean, Mr. Ipo?

Mr. I-got-nothing-to-do-all-day

but-watch-the-business-news-network?

Just that, it's a holding company

it doesn't do really do
business, it just holds stuff.

Holds what?

Assets. Real estate, stocks... Stocks?

Like shares.

Interesting.

Okay, uh, I better get back at this.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay. Onion rings.

Oh, holy crap, that's the big guy.

Holy crap.

Okay, here we go.

"Don't do
anything stupid, stupid."

Oh.

Well, if it isn't
Mr. Private eye.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Huge
intimidating guy with a gun.

I don't have a gun.

Your girlfriend stole it.

Well, I don't have a
girlfriend, so we're both wrong.

Let's just leave it there,
call it a night.

Have a seat.

There's a guy down here.

Aw, in a pool of blood.

Oh, not good. Not good...

I thought it was not good before,

this is way more not good.

Are you calling an ambulance?

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

Hey, it's me.

Yeah. Miles is dead.

That's miles?

Oh, this is terrible!

I mean, it's good that I found him,

I wasn't sure I'd be
able to, but still, not good.

That private eye is here.

I've got the situation contained.

In fact...

Maybe the best thing
is to leave two bodies here.

No, no, one's plenty.

One's too many.

No, we're not doing that.

Why not?

Because we don't know what he knows,

or what he's already told someone else.

Bring him to the boat.

The boat.

Right away.

We're going for a ride.

Are we?

You seem pretty confident

for a guy who just told me
he doesn't have a gun,

especially considering... I do.

If you have a gun, I'm
going to take it from you

and shove it up your ass.

Sideways.

Oh, are you?

Well, it's a good thing
I'm bluffing then, isn't it?

Ow! You're pinching
the fatty part of my neck!

Where are you taking me?

To the movies, and then dinner and drinks.

You wish.

Well... Will you look at that?

It's our old pal from the bar.

I told you we'd bump into you again.

Where's your girlfriend?

Or is this him?

Who are these two clowns, your boyfriends?

You're all going to play the gay card?

Real mature.

Keep walking.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's the hurry?

Well, I know I'm in a hurry

to see my big buddy here
kick your heads in.

Shut up.

When I told him what jerks
you were back at the bar,

he wanted we come down and find you guys.

-Is that so?
-Yeah.

Yeah, and he told me to just
stand back and watch,

because he was going to kick
both your asses by himself,

just to make some kind of
heterosexual point

or something.

Well, we're right here, big man.

You okay?

Jesus!

Is this a chevette?

Don't do that!

I just, I ran half a block!

What are you running from?

This place.

That big thug

that you beat up behind
the restaurant was back there.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, please, I saw you
through the bathroom window

when I was peeing.

Well, not when I was
peeing, but right after.

Oh, and by the way, I know
you're not miles's sister,

because didn't have a sister,

which makes it easier for me
to tell you he's dead.

-Miles is dead?
-Yeah.

He's lying on the floor of
that crappy hotel back there

with his brains bashed
in... bashed out, actually...

all over the rug,

which was a pretty
gross rug to begin with.

Now it's extra gross.

Who killed him?

I don't know at this point...

Oh, my god, you killed him.

I didn't kill him.

You killed your own brother!

You just said he wasn't my brother.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

This is very confusing and upsetting!

I just saw brains on a carpet!

I'm not a killer, okay?

I'm... I'm a thief.

Oh, well, that's much better.

It is, actually.

Quite a bit better.

So, who killed miles?
Did church kill him?

Who's church?

The guy I fought in the alley.

You know his name?

What are you guys,

in some kind of super-villain
fraternity or something?

He's a crooked cop.

At least he used to be.

Crooked cop...

I already didn't like him.
Now he's even more...

we need to go back to the hotel.

No, we need to go to the police.

For the hundredth time, Leo,

we are not going to the police.

Yes, we are.

If you saw me fight church,
you know I have his gun,

so I am calling the shots.

Yeah, but you already said
you're not a killer,

so I know you're not going to kill me.

I could give you a permanent limp.

I don't walk that much anyway.

I could make it

so you eat nothing but soup
for the next two years.

Dammit, how did you know
my weak spot was food?

Lucky guess.

Plus, there's about
two dozen burger wrappers

on the floor of your car.

Oh, please, there's maybe eight.

Back to the hotel.

It's clear.

Good, because I don't
want... oh, he's right there!

It's not clear at all.

I meant it was clear of church.

Well, it wasn't clear
what you meant by clear.

What are you looking for?

A laptop, or an external hard drive.

Is that what you want to steal?

Maybe.

Yeah. By all means,
keep me in the dark.

It's not like I'm involved.

Another comic book nerd.

Do you want to steal these
so that you can...

Wait a minute,
that comic book in your motel.

That was miles'!

You stole miles' comic book.

What, are you gonna tell the teacher?

I already told you I was a thief.

I went to miles' office.

He wasn't there,

so I cracked the safe
to see what was in it.

As anyone would.

The comic book and
all that stuff was in there.

Well, why would you steal that stuff?

Because it was in plastic,
which means it's valuable.

Unbelievable.

"That's a very rare
rookie card."

That licence plate

probably isn't even from
a real movie, is it?

How should I know?

You're a thief and a fibber.

I know, shameful.

You know, a lot of these hotels

have bibles in the nightstand.

Why don't you steal
one of those and read it?

You sinner.

What's that?

I don't know.

It says d-d-a-y-s-p-m.

Maybe it's a password.

Well, the hard drive
is obviously not here,

which means church took it
when he killed miles.

We have to find church.

Well, I know who he works for,

but it's doubtful they're
kicking around the office

this time of night.

Wait a minute, church said
something on the phone.

He said, "the boat, right away."

What boat?

He forgot to fill me in.

There's, like, 5,000 boats
moored around the city.

Follow me.

I saw this place in a photo in his office.

In whose office?

Your big ugly buddy

is working for the head
of the video game company.

What?

That son of a bitch was setting me up.

What? Who's
setting you up, horn?

Who?

Horn. The head
of glasskey.

Right, and you figured
him and church are here?

Yeah, maybe.

What's this about a set-up?

We just have to be very careful.

Oh, yeah, good point.

Okay, uh, you go ahead,
and I'll wait here.

You're just going to sit here

and think about what
your favourite soup is?

See, first you say be careful,

and then violent threats.

I'm getting mixed signals from you.

Which boat is his?

I don't know.

I'm trying to remember the photograph.

It had a sail on it, I think.

Very helpful.

Was it boat-shaped?

I believe it was.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Is that him?

Yeah, that's him, that's horn.

I have to see if he has the hard drive.

You wait here.

No, thank you, I'm waiting here.

Oh.

She must go to the gym.

Oh, no.

Who the hell is that?

This is the one I was telling you about.

The thief who's working
with the detective.

What exactly are you trying to steal?

I think you can guess.

Why don't you save us
a little time and tell us.

Why don't you

save me the trouble
of kicking your teeth in,

and let her go?

This is beautiful.

You're even stupider than I thought.

Yeah, well, thoughts probably
aren't your strong suit.

You're becoming more annoying every day.

I know. Kyra's going to be
annoyed with me, too,

because I called the cops.
Sorry.

Brave, Leo, but you didn't
think this through.

They're going to kill both of us
before the cops get here.

I'm betting they won't.

So far, they're just a
con-man and a goon-for-hire.

That doesn't carry
the same sentence as murder.

But they're already guilty of one murder.

I don't think they are.

Am I right, horn?

This whole thing got way out of hand,

but I didn't kill anybody,
and neither did church.

I bet you don't even have
the hard drive either, do you?

If you did, you wouldn't have asked Kyra

what she was here to steal.

If I did have the hard drive,
I'd be tempted to kill you both.

But you don't have it, right?

Sadly, no.

So what, that's it?

We're just going to
wait here for the cops?

What do you suggest, church?

We have a boat and two hostages.

They'll have to let us go.

Where are you
gonna go? Tell me.

Where do you want to go, church?

The states? Mexico?

I'm not spending
the rest of my life on the run.

Then this is where we say so long, horn.

Nice working with you,
but I'll be taking your boat,

and I'm taking your
girlfriend for insurance.

She's not my girlfriend.

Did you say you were my girlfriend?

She can't say much right now.

She's busy blacking out.

Let her go!

You guys better get off the boat,

she just might get to breathe
in the next couple of minutes.

Horn, move!

Have a good sleep.

Come on...

You've gotta be kidding me.

Kyra?

Kyra?

Nice.

Kyra... Kyra, if you're conscious,

I need you to go up top

and beat the shit
out of church again, okay?

Okay.

Okay, you rest.

I'll go get killed.

Okay, turn around.

Very good.

Now turn the boat around.

I said, turn the boat around.

If you have to turn around

so that you can turn the
boat around, I'll allow that.

I told you before, if you had a gun,

I was going to shove it up your ass.

Yeah, but you don't want to do that.

This is your gun.

I have to have it cleaned anyway.

Your girlfriend took it in the water.

It's too wet to work.

Oh, is that a fact?

Well, it just so happens,

I was down in the cabin
drying it in the microwave,

so it's good to go, my friend.

I'm going to make you prove it.

Well, if that's the way you want to...

Kyra!

Are you okay?

Are you okay?
Can you walk?

I'll try.

Okay, hang on.
Hang on.

Okay.

Yeah, I see... I see him.

Does he see me?

Great.

Ah... Hey, big fella. How's your head?

You probably don't even
remember me punching you.

I gave you one quick pop in the yapper,

and you went out like a newborn.

Actually, you're lucky
I hit you with this one,

because this one would've totally... jeez!

This is the police.

Put your hands in the air.

You know, this is a quality fob!

The velex 2000 series.

The letters are thermal-raised,

the ring is double-spun,
the body is polystyrene,

so it floats.

Oh.

Must be the 1000 series.

Yeah, my office is on pender.

I'm there almost every weekday.

They arrested horn and church,

how come they didn't arrest me?

Oh, yeah... I forgot
to tell them about you.

Oh, well, no rush.

It's not like
you're going to kill anybody.

How did you know they didn't kill miles?

Because I think I figured out who did.

Who?

Well, at first, I thought it was Nelson,

because Nelson had
all the motive in the world.

He had a big fight with miles.

Nelson hated miles
for leaving the company,

and he hated him
for starting a rival company.

So, how do you know he didn't do it?

Because if Nelson wanted miles dead,

he would've hired a
killer instead of a thief.

I'm imagining you in a red corvette.

That's pure speculation on my part.

You mean you knew?

Hang on.

Now I'm imagining you in a tube top.

You were onto me the whole time.

Hardly.

I didn't know anybody
had hired you for anything,

until tonight, when I said something

about the head of a video game company.

That son of a bitch set me up?

Who? Horn?

When I said the name horn,

you acted like that was the video game guy

you were talking about.

Is that him?

But you didn't know him,
so it must've been Nelson.

Hmm, aren't you smart?

It always said "smart" on my report cards,

usually followed by the word
"ass" or "mouth."

So, if horn didn't want miles dead,

what was all the cloak and dagger?

Fraud.

I think horn was screwing
over his investors,

and I think miles was in on it with him.

One year from now, we're
all going to be a lot richer.

See, horn got everybody all jacked up

about this exciting new video game

that miles was developing.

Then they issue an ipo.

Now, "ipo" means
"initial public offering"...

I know what an ipo means, okay?

What moron doesn't know what an ipo is?

Anyway...

The stock was red hot,
and everybody bought in.

But then, they staged
miles' disappearance.

They even made it look like
he might have even been hurt.

He wasn't there.

It looked like his place had been trashed.

No miles, no game.

Everybody wants to sell their stock,

and the share price plummets.

So, how does that help miles and horn?

They buy all the stock back
at the deflated price.

Only that would look suspicious, right?

So they did it through
separate holding companies.

"Arrowpoint,
blaster, coldriver..."

Then suddenly, miles reappears,

stock prices skyrocket,
they make a fortune.

Yeah, that was their plan.

Only miles failed to reappear...

well, in any useful way.

I still don't get who killed him.

All right, okay, I'm getting to that.

Jeez, I go through this whole rigmarole

give me that little moment at the end,

where I get to say how I solved it.

Anyway, through the course
of my in-depth investigation,

I kept having conversations
with this guy named Danny.

Nelson really hated miles.

Nelson hates miles
more than he's letting on.

He was super keen

to load me up with
a bunch of different suspects.

Check out this crazy chick
who was stalking miles...

But the kicker was

when we found that note
in miles' hotel room?

D-d-a-y-s-p-m.

Does that mean anything?

I didn't get it at first,
but earlier in the day,

Danny had introduced me
to some of his coworkers.

J-bird, a-train, and
t-Rex... I spent all day

trying to come up with
a nickname like that

for my name.

L... l, uh... Ella Fitzgerald.

L... El-anore rigby.

I think that's why it dawned on me later.

That note didn't say
"d-d-a-y."

It said "d-day!"

J-bird, t-Rex... D-Day. Danny!

When I looked at it like that,

then "s-p-m" kind of stood apart,

and I realized it's not an "s,"
it was a "5."

D-Day Danny was coming
to miles' hotel room

at 5:00 P.M.

What for?

I think that Danny was
doing all miles' design

and computer programming for him.

See, earlier,

Danny went out of his way to
kind of downplay his abilities.

I'm Danny.

I'm just a junior programmer.

But it was obvious
he was their best programmer.

No, the gipsum-gibble is blander-fandle

and the happa-blappa is a skippy-doodle.

Or words to that effect.

Why would Danny do
all that work for no credit?

Well, I don't think he had any choice.

See, once I figured out

that you stole all that stuff
from miles' safe...

I told you I stole it.

Regardless.

It got me thinking, comic
books can be valuable,

sports memorabilia can be valuable,

but when is a licence plate valuable?

Nelson's wife was killed
in a hit and run outside v5.

They never caught who did it.

Well, it's valuable if
it's used in blackmail.

I bet if we give that
licence plate to the cops,

they run the number

they find out it's registered to Danny.

I'm not going to the cops.

Uh... Maybe you should look around.

I'm a thief.

I can't get tied to this.

Well, I know that, but
maybe if you laid low... Leo.

You know where the licence plate is.

I have to disappear.

Well, maybe you could
disappear for a little while,

and then, later, you
could come back, and...

And just like that, she was gone.

Sometimes, to this day,
when the wind blows,

I can still smell her perfume in the air.

What do you mean,
"to this day?"

Didn't this all go down last night?

I was being poetic.

More like pathetic.

It's just been a couple hours.

You can probably still smell
her perfume on your shirt.

Maybe. She made me
miss laundry night.

Yeah, so the woman I told you about

said the licence plate was in here.

And why would she tell this to you?

She raises a good question.

Well, I, uh, I don't know, exactly why.

I think maybe she came
into my office by mistake.

See, there's a private detective's office

on the same floor as mine,
so... And what is it you do?

Oh, he sells foamy beer hats
and fobby what-nots.

Who are you?

This is Ernie.

He is unemployable
due to mental shortcomings,

which is probably why

he has all those unpaid parking tickets.

Or did you pay those?

No? Not yet?

Here it is.

Oh, look at that.

I think, if I remember, she also said

there was a hockey card,
and a comic book or something,

down there?

If I-If I remember correctly
from our brief encounter.

Nope. Just this.

Ah. My mistake.

Curseworld was my design,
and I had to just shut up

and watch him take all the credit for it.

And he was forcing me
to create his next game, too.

So you went to his hotel,

and instead of doing his work,
you killed him.

What?

Miles is dead?

It's a little late for that, pal.

No, miles... I-I did
not... I did not kill him.

Danny carwyn,

you are under arrest for
the murder of miles severin.

No, no, no, no, no...

I thought this was about the hit and run.

I didn't kill miles.

Just... no, please, no.

I-I did not. I did not do this.

Please!

Please, this is a mistake!

Hi, tough guy.

Reese.

What are you... How did
you know where I work?

Oh. I was kind of
a bad girl.

I followed you back here once.

Why?

I don't know.

You just intrigued me, I guess.

Oh. Well, that's
very flattering,

but, look, I'm twice your age.

You're funny.

And, yes, I'm funny.

I'm probably a hell
of a lot of fun to be around,

but still... I'm not
attracted to you, silly.

I was interested

because you were asking
a lot of questions.

You scared me with those matches.

You knew I was at miles' hotel,
didn't you?

Um... no.

Who's miles?

You're a nut.

A nosy little nut who squirreled
his way into somewhere

where he did not belong.

Whoa! Whoa!

Where is everybody getting guns?

This is Canada.

I got this off miles.

He carried it around because he was afraid

someone was going to try
and kill him at work.

Guess he wasn't worried about me, though.

You killed miles.

He hurt my feelings.

Oh, well fair's fair.

Even Steven.
Back to work, everybody.

Not yet.

You know about me, and the matches...

No, no, I don't know anything!

Plus, I'm forgetful.

It's Barbara, right?
Brenda?

See? I couldn't even tell
the police if I wanted to...

which I don't, p.S.

I have to be sure.

Who the hell are you?

Is this your slutty girlfriend?

You told her I was your girlfriend?

No, I didn't... She said that I was.

That... I mean, you was. Were.

She lies.

Plus, she killed miles.

You told her I was a slut?

I told her you were not a slut.

I defended you honour.

That's true.
He did defend your honour.

Shut up.

Well, I guess you better call the cops.

I keep telling you, we can't go to the...

Wait, you keep telling me.

Call them.

Make sure that other kid
doesn't get locked up

for two killings.

Oh, yeah.

9-1-1, what's your emergency?

Hello, yeah, somebody just tried
to shoot me, with a gun.

And I think she killed somebody else, too.

So could you send somebody over
right away?

Am I supposed to stay on the line?

Or... they'll call back.

Wow, Leo.

You almost had this
whole thing figured out,

except for one little detail, the killer,

but that's not important.

Yeah, I-I caught a different killer.

Yeah, not bad.

And if you wanted to,

you could actually become
a real detective.

Wait a minute...

Well, if you knew, why did you hire me?

I don't know.

There was something
about your face that said,

"here is a man
I could easily manipulate."

Oh, really.

Well, it was my face
that made you think that,

so who's manipulating who?

And then I thought

maybe it would be better to hire someone

who wasn't a detective.

Less chance of them catching on
to what I was doing.

So you decided to stay
with the stoogey dope

the whole way.

Except you weren't as
stoogey or dopey as I thought.

Well, you are pretty stoogey,
but not dopey.

Yeah, I walk a fine line.

So... Here we are.

I, uh, I didn't expect
to see you again so soon.

I mean, I'm not complaining.

Your timing was fantastic,
yeah, to be honest,

I didn't expect to see you either.

I dropped the money in the mail slot,

and then I thought you should
probably have these, too.

I'm getting out of the thief business.

Wow, well, that's great!

Good for you.

That's very cool.

So, uh... What are your plans?

Ah, damn it.

Damn what?

Oh.

Nothing.

I just, I bit my tongue.

Damn it.

Damn my fat tongue.

You thought I left, didn't you?

No. I-I didn't.

Yes, you did.

I didn't care one way or the other.

You're a terrible liar.

I don't think I'm a terrible liar,

I'm probably just not
as practised at it as you are.

And now who's calling?

It's probably 9-1-1.
Pick it up.

Oh, yeah, right.

Yelloo!