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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,689
Okay, Peg.
I tried to use our ATM card.
2
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,049
I stuck it in.
3
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,091
It spit it out.
4
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,012
And it laughed at me.
5
00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,936
Sound familiar?
6
00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,092
How many times have I told you, Al?
7
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,939
You got to stick it in the right way.
8
00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:35,855
And, you know, pressing
the right buttons wouldn't hurt either.
9
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,937
Peg, you got to stop wasting
all our money.
10
00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:40,608
I'm not wasting it.
I'm investing it.
11
00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,015
Yes, Peg,
and nothing appreciates faster...
12
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,769
...than these Little Rascals
Last Supper commemorative plates.
13
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:51,530
Doesn't Alfalfa make a haunting Judas?
14
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,049
You know, these aren't available
in any store.
15
00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:57,138
Whereas food,
which often appears on the plate, is.
16
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,936
Forgive him, Buckwheat,
he knows not what he does.
17
00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:07,337
Peg, this home shopping
has got to stop.
18
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,132
Okay, Al.
19
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,659
Where are you going?
20
00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:13,328
I am going
to Shopaholics Anonymous.
21
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:17,089
- Good.
- But first I need a new dress.
22
00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:20,093
Hey.
23
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:27,859
Daddy, I need 100 bucks for something
really, really, really important.
24
00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:31,655
Pumpkin, you're not going to buy
another bridge, are you?
25
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,933
What would I do with six bridges?
26
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:38,178
No, it's for my acting career.
27
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:41,372
I'm taking an improve class.
28
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:45,050
You know, improvisation
where you make things up.
29
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:48,288
Why don't you make up 100 bucks?
30
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,218
Okay. Thanks.
31
00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:53,298
Wait a minute. How am I supposed
to make up money I don't have?
32
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,013
Ask your mother.
33
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,696
Great news, everybody.
34
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:04,129
It's official.
35
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,059
Oh, Illinois finally recognized...
36
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,013
...the sacred bond
between you and your hand.
37
00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,972
Just like the sacred bond
between you...
38
00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,455
...and anyone
with a shiny new penny.
39
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,018
Dad, I just got a big infomercial
for one of my new clients.
40
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:23,418
Hey, hey, hey, now, does that mean
that you're making money?
41
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,339
Well, not like you tried to do
at Kinko's but--
42
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:30,529
That would have worked
if I'd sprung for the color copies.
43
00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:32,412
Anyway, I'm earning my money.
44
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,930
Well, son, if you're earning money,
that means you can pay some rent.
45
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,338
Rent?
46
00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:41,135
Now, son, it was one thing
when were you in school...
47
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,570
...which, by the way,
I never approved of.
48
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:45,649
Why me?
49
00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,055
Why don't you charge Kelly rent?
Or Mom?
50
00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:51,491
Well, son,
Kelly hasn't slept here in years.
51
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:57,735
If I try to charge your mother rent,
she might expect things.
52
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:01,338
No way am I paying rent
for that dump.
53
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,338
Well, then you know the drill, Bud.
54
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,730
The best shopping carts
are at Foodtown.
55
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:54,972
Hey, Daddy?
56
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,172
I need to do some homework
for my improve class...
57
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,616
...so give me a situation.
58
00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:06,539
Daddy's watching the baseball game.
59
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,613
Got it.
60
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:27,457
Now daddy's mowing the lawn.
61
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:32,614
Damn lawn. Damn kid. Damn wife.
62
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,613
Forget it, Peg, no sex tonight.
63
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:43,896
Okay, honey. Just as well.
64
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,538
Improv class?
65
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,891
Yes, best money I ever spent,
with all due respect...
66
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,410
...to the My Three Sons
Holy Trinity serving tray.
67
00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:58,570
Damn thing.
68
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,853
Well, where have you been?
69
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,449
I slept in Lucky's doghouse.
70
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:14,299
You have any idea what it's like
sleeping with somebody...
71
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,616
...who's constantly panting
and licking you...
72
00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:19,209
...and wagging their tail
all in your face?
73
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,058
Welcome to my world, son.
74
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,939
This isn't fair, Dad.
75
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,051
You didn't charge me
when I lived upstairs.
76
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,774
Well, that's because
that was a less desirable location.
77
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,210
That was near your mother.
78
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,972
All right, fine. How much rent
do you think would be fair?
79
00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:39,138
Son, I got that all figured out.
80
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,376
It's based on
a very complicated formula...
81
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:44,333
...that I've been working on
since day that you were born.
82
00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:48,533
Oh, look, it's Bud's baby book.
83
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:51,095
Hey, I didn't know
you kept one of those for me.
84
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,858
Why, sure.
85
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,894
Oh, now look at this:
Baby's first expense.
86
00:05:57,100 --> 00:06:00,376
Yeah, one broken condom.
87
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:08,619
Oh, and look, Bud,
your first pacifier.
88
00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,492
A sock?
89
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:14,932
If we gave him a little more rubber
when he was teething...
90
00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:17,176
...he wouldn't be dating it now.
91
00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:23,291
Oh, look, Bud, your first words.
92
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,975
"Bud need food."
93
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,535
"Bud want food."
94
00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,379
"Ouch"?
95
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:37,330
Nobody likes a whiny baby, Bud.
96
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:44,377
- Why aren't there any pictures of me?
- Frankly, son, you were one ugly baby.
97
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,536
I thought you were beautiful.
98
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,096
Oh, come on, Peg,
you used to diaper his face.
99
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,533
That's because he was colicky.
100
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:57,176
Oh, now, son,
it's all here. Every fond moment...
101
00:06:57,380 --> 00:07:01,532
...and every cent that you cost me
from the time you were born.
102
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,738
One soda. That's 65 cents.
103
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,739
You're still writing it all down?
104
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,498
Oh, no. We're way beyond that.
105
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,656
This is insane.
106
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:27,499
Okay. Okay. Fine.
107
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,259
I'll pay you 200 a month...
108
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:33,248
...but I want to make it legal.
Here's a check and here's a lease.
109
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:36,652
That's a deal.
110
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:40,375
Great. Now that I am paying you,
you can make the repairs.
111
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:41,774
What repairs?
112
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,049
Look, I know my rights.
113
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:46,138
As your legal tenant, I can report you
to the Housing Authority.
114
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:49,889
And as your legal father,
I can give you five across the eyes.
115
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,933
There's absolutely nothing wrong
with that basement.
116
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,371
This basement is condemned.
117
00:07:58,780 --> 00:08:01,578
On what possible basis?
118
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,819
For one thing,
I'm standing in raw sewage.
119
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:09,816
Ma'am, your control problems
are not my concern.
120
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,814
What about these rats?
121
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,454
Well, how did they get in here?
122
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,696
They're trying to get out.
123
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,656
This wiring is clearly substandard.
124
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:28,011
Well, now that's impossible.
I did the work myself.
125
00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:34,175
Mr. Bundy, you've had a month
to get this place in shape.
126
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:37,816
You had your whole life to get in shape.
You don't see me condemning you.
127
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,813
That's it.
128
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:47,410
Mr. Bundy, you are a slumlord
and by the power vested in me...
129
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,692
...by the Department of Housing,
you're confined to this basement...
130
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,856
- ...until you agree to make repairs.
- What?
131
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,049
What if there's a fire?
132
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,979
Those wires are clearly substandard.
133
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,856
What the--
What the hell are you doing?
134
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,699
This is an electronic
mobility limitation device.
135
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,936
It'll prevent you from leaving
the premises.
136
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:07,495
Much like your hips in a turnstile.
137
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:13,213
If you come within two feet
of this device or 10 feet from it...
138
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,773
...you will be shocked.
139
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,050
Yeah, right. Like that scares me.
140
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,297
Like this collar is going to keep me
in this hellhole.
141
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,728
Come get me. Come on. Come on.
142
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,132
It's fascinating.
143
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,570
Despite three hours
of negative conditioning...
144
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:44,533
...the subject continues to go
for the food.
145
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,376
Son of a bitch.
146
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,971
What an idiot.
147
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,814
You know, I think Daddy needs
some exercise.
148
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:57,614
No. We are not letting him out.
149
00:09:57,820 --> 00:10:00,380
Oh, no. I was thinking
about getting him one of those...
150
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:02,457
...you know,
those giant hamster wheels.
151
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,776
Just to keep him running.
152
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:07,659
Where do you think
you're going to get one of those?
153
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:11,011
Duh? At the giant hamster store.
154
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:19,177
"Note to journal
regarding long-term subject:
155
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:22,059
IQ still plummeting.
156
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,453
No sign of bottom."
157
00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:31,377
Dad, are you gonna make
the repairs?
158
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:35,175
No, you degenerate little ingrate.
159
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,372
Hey, now.
160
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:40,458
That language might have been okay
when I was a child...
161
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:44,699
...but now that I'm paying rent,
I expect to be treated like an adult.
162
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,538
An adult?
163
00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,856
You still live at home.
164
00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,933
You still work at the mall.
165
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:52,334
Yeah, well, listen.
166
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:55,373
Pay up because I'm up
for assistant manager.
167
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,613
If I can ever get out of here.
168
00:10:58,020 --> 00:10:59,897
You can get out
when you make the repairs.
169
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,738
No way. It's a matter of principle.
170
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,453
Maybe I can bribe my wait out.
171
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,220
How about a hundred bucks?
172
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,980
That's Kinko's money. Forget it.
173
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:12,452
Okay, 200.
174
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,616
- Three hundred.
- No way.
175
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:19,257
What do you think, this stuff is free?
Every hundred dollar bill costs 8 cents.
176
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:25,256
- Where's the original?
- I left the original in the copy machine.
177
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:33,855
"Idiocy, obviously hereditary.
178
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:39,736
In females."
179
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,854
Oh, Al, you promised
to take out the garbage.
180
00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:48,016
Gee, I'm sorry, Peg, I'd love to.
181
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:52,213
But one more shock
and my liver will be medium well.
182
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:56,379
But then who's going to rub
my bottom?
183
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,574
Peg, I'm sorry, but the law is the law.
184
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:03,011
I did the crime,
so I should do the time.
185
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,619
Al.
186
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,219
Hey.
187
00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:10,978
Jefferson.
188
00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:13,171
I'm stuck.
189
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:17,013
Well, divorce her.
Just leave me out of it.
190
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,939
I came here to rescue you...
191
00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:23,140
...but there's a really big spider...
192
00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:26,252
- ...coming right towards me.
- Hey, getting stuck down here is...
193
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,337
...the best thing
that ever happened to me.
194
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,691
What are you talking about, Al?
This is a prison.
195
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:35,575
This isn't prison. Upstairs is a prison.
That's hard time.
196
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:39,090
Warden Red is always threatening
to stick me in the hotbox.
197
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:42,333
Okay. Let me get this straight.
198
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:45,259
Al is stuck here.
199
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,375
And I get to torture him.
200
00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,336
Here's another hundred.
201
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,573
Now, you enjoy yourself.
202
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,372
Remember, you gotta be out by 2.
203
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,936
You'd be surprised at
how many people want to torture Dad.
204
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,331
No, I wouldn't.
205
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,697
So, Dad.
206
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,492
Are you sure you're having fun?
207
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:13,849
Yup.
208
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,848
Well, in that case,
let's play Wheel of Torture.
209
00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,369
Our first contestant hails
from next door.
210
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:26,654
She's a banker, an avid golfer
and quite a screamer in bed.
211
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,855
You live next door, you hear things.
212
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:36,689
Well, what's she going to do,
Bud, pick my eyes out?
213
00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:39,454
Sit on me till I crack?
214
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:42,815
Al...
215
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:47,935
...did I ever tell you
about how I became a feminist?
216
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:53,453
It all started when I read
The Feminine Mystique...
217
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:55,776
...and I threw away my Lady Schick.
218
00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:58,130
Well, that's two mistakes.
219
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,692
Did you ever notice...
220
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,697
...how the nipples
in that poster seem...
221
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,419
...to follow you around the room?
222
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,377
That is so degrading to women.
223
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,738
Anyway...
224
00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:23,940
My true awakening occurred...
225
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:28,133
...when I decided
to take charge of my own orgasms.
226
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:30,979
You know, Al,
how my womanhood blossomed.
227
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,729
Oh, God, how my stomach
is churning.
228
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,372
You know, I couldn't have done it...
229
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,810
...without the support
of my women's group.
230
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,410
One day, we all sat in a circle...
231
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:46,657
...naked, but non-judgmental...
232
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:52,090
...and then all six of us pulled out
our hand mirrors...
233
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,372
...and guess what happened?
234
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:01,813
Forty-two years of bad luck?
235
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:07,697
That day inspired an epic poem.
236
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,573
I think that I shall never see
237
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,096
My G-spot smiling back at my me
238
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,296
I got to give you credit, big guy...
239
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,219
...I can't believe
that didn't break you.
240
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,935
You forget who I'm married to.
Torture is my middle name.
241
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:36,579
Well, then,
let's meet guest number two.
242
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,897
She's an aspiring actress,
an annoying sister...
243
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,091
...and she's just mastered
the alphabet.
244
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,815
Kelly Bundy, come on down.
245
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,570
How, Daddy.
246
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:59,339
Kelly will now improv
the history of the United States.
247
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:01,898
Enjoy.
248
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:06,090
Is that your real name, John Smith?
249
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,929
Me thinkum this one big kiss-off.
250
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,736
Sorry, Chief Thunder Pants.
251
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,853
What a glorious day
for our new country.
252
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:25,895
We defeated the British
and I have a new baby boy.
253
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:30,490
I'm going to name him Bob Dole.
254
00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,412
General Sherman...
255
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:38,374
...you have lit more
than Atlanta on fire.
256
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:44,212
As God is my witness,
I will never be horny again.
257
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:50,256
Houston, we have a problem.
258
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:53,499
We can see Uranus.
259
00:16:55,860 --> 00:17:00,775
We seem to have an asteroidal flap.
260
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,414
Hey, is this thing on?
261
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,850
He still won't make the repairs.
262
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:14,573
He is so stubborn.
263
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:17,340
You should see him on bath night.
264
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:21,133
Well, I did my best
with the Chinese daughter torture.
265
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:25,049
All right. Somehow we gotta come up
with the perfect torture for Daddy.
266
00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:29,458
Now, what does he find
really repulsive and unbearable?
267
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:41,295
Why are you looking at me?
268
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:55,450
Boy, in a couple of years,
this stuff really builds up.
269
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,300
You know,
it's not half bad down here.
270
00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:13,413
A couple of repairs,
a fellow could live down here.
271
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:23,699
Who's there?
272
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,656
Oh, Al...
273
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:40,138
...it's time for your conjugal visit.
274
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:44,609
Okay. Bud, help me.
275
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:52,854
Shut up, Al. You're my bitch now.
276
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:57,174
Oh, the horror.
277
00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:00,056
The horror.
278
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:04,140
No, no, Peg. No, I can't.
279
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,058
My knees are all skinned.
I'm bruised.
280
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:09,411
I got a press-on nail
stuck in my butt.
281
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,450
Relax, Dad.
282
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:13,888
Oh, son, thank God.
283
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:17,695
Son, get me out of this thing
before that thing comes back.
284
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,058
You promise to make the repairs?
285
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:24,173
Okay, son, you win. You win.
286
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,495
Gee, Dad.
287
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,897
Mom left teeth marks
all over your neck.
288
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,456
No, son. That was me.
I tried to sever my own jugular.
289
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,936
Damn clotting.
290
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,137
Okay. I'll let you go,
but you got to promise...
291
00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:45,537
- ...to give me a head start?
- Why, sure, son. What do you think?
292
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:47,935
I'm going to track you like a dog
and kill you?
293
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:52,019
Sure, a normal father would do that,
but we're Bundys.
294
00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:56,050
Oh, God, what does that mean?
You're going to eat me?
295
00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,450
No, Bud.
296
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,857
I want to give you a pat
on the back. See, son, I--
297
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,937
I never thought
you took much after me.
298
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:08,132
I always thought you were more
of a Wanker than a Bundy.
299
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:09,569
Why?
300
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:13,170
Well, you know, your laziness,
your sloping forehead...
301
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,578
...your ability to catch flies
with your tongue.
302
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,290
- This what you call a pat on the back?
- No, son.
303
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:24,176
Now you got mad like anybody would,
but you got mad and even.
304
00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,495
See?
305
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:28,692
That makes you a part
of the grand Bundy tradition.
306
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,619
You know, I'll never forget
my old man. Sweet guy.
307
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,459
Sold my Schwinn
for the price of a drink.
308
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:39,338
I was so mad at him, before he knew it,
I enlisted him into the army.
309
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:42,615
When he came back from Korea,
he was so ticked off...
310
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,970
...it's a good thing
he was in a wheelchair.
311
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,215
Beautiful story, Dad.
312
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:51,378
The point is, I think that deep down
my dad was proud of me.
313
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:52,695
Why, he said that?
314
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:56,529
Not in so many words,
but he blinked twice for "Yes."
315
00:20:57,380 --> 00:21:00,577
So you're saying you were proud
of me for the way I tortured you?
316
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:02,850
That I am, Bud.
317
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,016
Guess I learned from the best.
318
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:07,858
Son.
319
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,338
Dad.
320
00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:17,495
Hey, pal...
321
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:20,658
...what do you say
we fix this place up together?
322
00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:23,135
- All right. Let's go get a burger first.
- Fine.
323
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,900
- On me.
- All right.
24561
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