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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,689 Okay, Peg. I tried to use our ATM card. 2 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,049 I stuck it in. 3 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,091 It spit it out. 4 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,012 And it laughed at me. 5 00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,936 Sound familiar? 6 00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:29,092 How many times have I told you, Al? 7 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,939 You got to stick it in the right way. 8 00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:35,855 And, you know, pressing the right buttons wouldn't hurt either. 9 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,937 Peg, you got to stop wasting all our money. 10 00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:40,608 I'm not wasting it. I'm investing it. 11 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,015 Yes, Peg, and nothing appreciates faster... 12 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,769 ...than these Little Rascals Last Supper commemorative plates. 13 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:51,530 Doesn't Alfalfa make a haunting Judas? 14 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,049 You know, these aren't available in any store. 15 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:57,138 Whereas food, which often appears on the plate, is. 16 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,936 Forgive him, Buckwheat, he knows not what he does. 17 00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:07,337 Peg, this home shopping has got to stop. 18 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,132 Okay, Al. 19 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,659 Where are you going? 20 00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:13,328 I am going to Shopaholics Anonymous. 21 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:17,089 - Good. - But first I need a new dress. 22 00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:20,093 Hey. 23 00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:27,859 Daddy, I need 100 bucks for something really, really, really important. 24 00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:31,655 Pumpkin, you're not going to buy another bridge, are you? 25 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,933 What would I do with six bridges? 26 00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:38,178 No, it's for my acting career. 27 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:41,372 I'm taking an improve class. 28 00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:45,050 You know, improvisation where you make things up. 29 00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:48,288 Why don't you make up 100 bucks? 30 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,218 Okay. Thanks. 31 00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:53,298 Wait a minute. How am I supposed to make up money I don't have? 32 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,013 Ask your mother. 33 00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,696 Great news, everybody. 34 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:04,129 It's official. 35 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,059 Oh, Illinois finally recognized... 36 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,013 ...the sacred bond between you and your hand. 37 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,972 Just like the sacred bond between you... 38 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,455 ...and anyone with a shiny new penny. 39 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,018 Dad, I just got a big infomercial for one of my new clients. 40 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:23,418 Hey, hey, hey, now, does that mean that you're making money? 41 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:26,339 Well, not like you tried to do at Kinko's but-- 42 00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:30,529 That would have worked if I'd sprung for the color copies. 43 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:32,412 Anyway, I'm earning my money. 44 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,930 Well, son, if you're earning money, that means you can pay some rent. 45 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,338 Rent? 46 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:41,135 Now, son, it was one thing when were you in school... 47 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,570 ...which, by the way, I never approved of. 48 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:45,649 Why me? 49 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,055 Why don't you charge Kelly rent? Or Mom? 50 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:51,491 Well, son, Kelly hasn't slept here in years. 51 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:57,735 If I try to charge your mother rent, she might expect things. 52 00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:01,338 No way am I paying rent for that dump. 53 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:04,338 Well, then you know the drill, Bud. 54 00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,730 The best shopping carts are at Foodtown. 55 00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:54,972 Hey, Daddy? 56 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,172 I need to do some homework for my improve class... 57 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,616 ...so give me a situation. 58 00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:06,539 Daddy's watching the baseball game. 59 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,613 Got it. 60 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:27,457 Now daddy's mowing the lawn. 61 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:32,614 Damn lawn. Damn kid. Damn wife. 62 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,613 Forget it, Peg, no sex tonight. 63 00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:43,896 Okay, honey. Just as well. 64 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,538 Improv class? 65 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,891 Yes, best money I ever spent, with all due respect... 66 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,410 ...to the My Three Sons Holy Trinity serving tray. 67 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:58,570 Damn thing. 68 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,853 Well, where have you been? 69 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,449 I slept in Lucky's doghouse. 70 00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:14,299 You have any idea what it's like sleeping with somebody... 71 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,616 ...who's constantly panting and licking you... 72 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:19,209 ...and wagging their tail all in your face? 73 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,058 Welcome to my world, son. 74 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,939 This isn't fair, Dad. 75 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,051 You didn't charge me when I lived upstairs. 76 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,774 Well, that's because that was a less desirable location. 77 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,210 That was near your mother. 78 00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,972 All right, fine. How much rent do you think would be fair? 79 00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:39,138 Son, I got that all figured out. 80 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,376 It's based on a very complicated formula... 81 00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:44,333 ...that I've been working on since day that you were born. 82 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:48,533 Oh, look, it's Bud's baby book. 83 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:51,095 Hey, I didn't know you kept one of those for me. 84 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,858 Why, sure. 85 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,894 Oh, now look at this: Baby's first expense. 86 00:05:57,100 --> 00:06:00,376 Yeah, one broken condom. 87 00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:08,619 Oh, and look, Bud, your first pacifier. 88 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,492 A sock? 89 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:14,932 If we gave him a little more rubber when he was teething... 90 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:17,176 ...he wouldn't be dating it now. 91 00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:23,291 Oh, look, Bud, your first words. 92 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,975 "Bud need food." 93 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,535 "Bud want food." 94 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:33,379 "Ouch"? 95 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:37,330 Nobody likes a whiny baby, Bud. 96 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:44,377 - Why aren't there any pictures of me? - Frankly, son, you were one ugly baby. 97 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:47,536 I thought you were beautiful. 98 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,096 Oh, come on, Peg, you used to diaper his face. 99 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,533 That's because he was colicky. 100 00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:57,176 Oh, now, son, it's all here. Every fond moment... 101 00:06:57,380 --> 00:07:01,532 ...and every cent that you cost me from the time you were born. 102 00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,738 One soda. That's 65 cents. 103 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,739 You're still writing it all down? 104 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,498 Oh, no. We're way beyond that. 105 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,656 This is insane. 106 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:27,499 Okay. Okay. Fine. 107 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,259 I'll pay you 200 a month... 108 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:33,248 ...but I want to make it legal. Here's a check and here's a lease. 109 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:36,652 That's a deal. 110 00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:40,375 Great. Now that I am paying you, you can make the repairs. 111 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:41,774 What repairs? 112 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,049 Look, I know my rights. 113 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:46,138 As your legal tenant, I can report you to the Housing Authority. 114 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:49,889 And as your legal father, I can give you five across the eyes. 115 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,933 There's absolutely nothing wrong with that basement. 116 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,371 This basement is condemned. 117 00:07:58,780 --> 00:08:01,578 On what possible basis? 118 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,819 For one thing, I'm standing in raw sewage. 119 00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:09,816 Ma'am, your control problems are not my concern. 120 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,814 What about these rats? 121 00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,454 Well, how did they get in here? 122 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,696 They're trying to get out. 123 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,656 This wiring is clearly substandard. 124 00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:28,011 Well, now that's impossible. I did the work myself. 125 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:34,175 Mr. Bundy, you've had a month to get this place in shape. 126 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:37,816 You had your whole life to get in shape. You don't see me condemning you. 127 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,813 That's it. 128 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:47,410 Mr. Bundy, you are a slumlord and by the power vested in me... 129 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,692 ...by the Department of Housing, you're confined to this basement... 130 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,856 - ...until you agree to make repairs. - What? 131 00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,049 What if there's a fire? 132 00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,979 Those wires are clearly substandard. 133 00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,856 What the-- What the hell are you doing? 134 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,699 This is an electronic mobility limitation device. 135 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:04,936 It'll prevent you from leaving the premises. 136 00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:07,495 Much like your hips in a turnstile. 137 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:13,213 If you come within two feet of this device or 10 feet from it... 138 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,773 ...you will be shocked. 139 00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:17,050 Yeah, right. Like that scares me. 140 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,297 Like this collar is going to keep me in this hellhole. 141 00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,728 Come get me. Come on. Come on. 142 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,132 It's fascinating. 143 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,570 Despite three hours of negative conditioning... 144 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:44,533 ...the subject continues to go for the food. 145 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,376 Son of a bitch. 146 00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,971 What an idiot. 147 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,814 You know, I think Daddy needs some exercise. 148 00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:57,614 No. We are not letting him out. 149 00:09:57,820 --> 00:10:00,380 Oh, no. I was thinking about getting him one of those... 150 00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:02,457 ...you know, those giant hamster wheels. 151 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,776 Just to keep him running. 152 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:07,659 Where do you think you're going to get one of those? 153 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:11,011 Duh? At the giant hamster store. 154 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:19,177 "Note to journal regarding long-term subject: 155 00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:22,059 IQ still plummeting. 156 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,453 No sign of bottom." 157 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:31,377 Dad, are you gonna make the repairs? 158 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:35,175 No, you degenerate little ingrate. 159 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,372 Hey, now. 160 00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:40,458 That language might have been okay when I was a child... 161 00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:44,699 ...but now that I'm paying rent, I expect to be treated like an adult. 162 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,538 An adult? 163 00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,856 You still live at home. 164 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,933 You still work at the mall. 165 00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:52,334 Yeah, well, listen. 166 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:55,373 Pay up because I'm up for assistant manager. 167 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,613 If I can ever get out of here. 168 00:10:58,020 --> 00:10:59,897 You can get out when you make the repairs. 169 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,738 No way. It's a matter of principle. 170 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,453 Maybe I can bribe my wait out. 171 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,220 How about a hundred bucks? 172 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,980 That's Kinko's money. Forget it. 173 00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:12,452 Okay, 200. 174 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,616 - Three hundred. - No way. 175 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:19,257 What do you think, this stuff is free? Every hundred dollar bill costs 8 cents. 176 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:25,256 - Where's the original? - I left the original in the copy machine. 177 00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:33,855 "Idiocy, obviously hereditary. 178 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:39,736 In females." 179 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,854 Oh, Al, you promised to take out the garbage. 180 00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:48,016 Gee, I'm sorry, Peg, I'd love to. 181 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:52,213 But one more shock and my liver will be medium well. 182 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:56,379 But then who's going to rub my bottom? 183 00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,574 Peg, I'm sorry, but the law is the law. 184 00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:03,011 I did the crime, so I should do the time. 185 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,619 Al. 186 00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,219 Hey. 187 00:12:09,260 --> 00:12:10,978 Jefferson. 188 00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:13,171 I'm stuck. 189 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:17,013 Well, divorce her. Just leave me out of it. 190 00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,939 I came here to rescue you... 191 00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:23,140 ...but there's a really big spider... 192 00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:26,252 - ...coming right towards me. - Hey, getting stuck down here is... 193 00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,337 ...the best thing that ever happened to me. 194 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,691 What are you talking about, Al? This is a prison. 195 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:35,575 This isn't prison. Upstairs is a prison. That's hard time. 196 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:39,090 Warden Red is always threatening to stick me in the hotbox. 197 00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:42,333 Okay. Let me get this straight. 198 00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:45,259 Al is stuck here. 199 00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,375 And I get to torture him. 200 00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,336 Here's another hundred. 201 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,573 Now, you enjoy yourself. 202 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,372 Remember, you gotta be out by 2. 203 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,936 You'd be surprised at how many people want to torture Dad. 204 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,331 No, I wouldn't. 205 00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,697 So, Dad. 206 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,492 Are you sure you're having fun? 207 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:13,849 Yup. 208 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,848 Well, in that case, let's play Wheel of Torture. 209 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,369 Our first contestant hails from next door. 210 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:26,654 She's a banker, an avid golfer and quite a screamer in bed. 211 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,855 You live next door, you hear things. 212 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:36,689 Well, what's she going to do, Bud, pick my eyes out? 213 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:39,454 Sit on me till I crack? 214 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:42,815 Al... 215 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:47,935 ...did I ever tell you about how I became a feminist? 216 00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:53,453 It all started when I read The Feminine Mystique... 217 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:55,776 ...and I threw away my Lady Schick. 218 00:13:55,980 --> 00:13:58,130 Well, that's two mistakes. 219 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,692 Did you ever notice... 220 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,697 ...how the nipples in that poster seem... 221 00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,419 ...to follow you around the room? 222 00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:12,377 That is so degrading to women. 223 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,738 Anyway... 224 00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:23,940 My true awakening occurred... 225 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:28,133 ...when I decided to take charge of my own orgasms. 226 00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:30,979 You know, Al, how my womanhood blossomed. 227 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,729 Oh, God, how my stomach is churning. 228 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,372 You know, I couldn't have done it... 229 00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,810 ...without the support of my women's group. 230 00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,410 One day, we all sat in a circle... 231 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:46,657 ...naked, but non-judgmental... 232 00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:52,090 ...and then all six of us pulled out our hand mirrors... 233 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,372 ...and guess what happened? 234 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:01,813 Forty-two years of bad luck? 235 00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:07,697 That day inspired an epic poem. 236 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,573 I think that I shall never see 237 00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,096 My G-spot smiling back at my me 238 00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,296 I got to give you credit, big guy... 239 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,219 ...I can't believe that didn't break you. 240 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,935 You forget who I'm married to. Torture is my middle name. 241 00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:36,579 Well, then, let's meet guest number two. 242 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,897 She's an aspiring actress, an annoying sister... 243 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,091 ...and she's just mastered the alphabet. 244 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,815 Kelly Bundy, come on down. 245 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,570 How, Daddy. 246 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:59,339 Kelly will now improv the history of the United States. 247 00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:01,898 Enjoy. 248 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:06,090 Is that your real name, John Smith? 249 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,929 Me thinkum this one big kiss-off. 250 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,736 Sorry, Chief Thunder Pants. 251 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,853 What a glorious day for our new country. 252 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:25,895 We defeated the British and I have a new baby boy. 253 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:30,490 I'm going to name him Bob Dole. 254 00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,412 General Sherman... 255 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:38,374 ...you have lit more than Atlanta on fire. 256 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:44,212 As God is my witness, I will never be horny again. 257 00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:50,256 Houston, we have a problem. 258 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:53,499 We can see Uranus. 259 00:16:55,860 --> 00:17:00,775 We seem to have an asteroidal flap. 260 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,414 Hey, is this thing on? 261 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,850 He still won't make the repairs. 262 00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:14,573 He is so stubborn. 263 00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:17,340 You should see him on bath night. 264 00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:21,133 Well, I did my best with the Chinese daughter torture. 265 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:25,049 All right. Somehow we gotta come up with the perfect torture for Daddy. 266 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:29,458 Now, what does he find really repulsive and unbearable? 267 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:41,295 Why are you looking at me? 268 00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:55,450 Boy, in a couple of years, this stuff really builds up. 269 00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,300 You know, it's not half bad down here. 270 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:13,413 A couple of repairs, a fellow could live down here. 271 00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:23,699 Who's there? 272 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,656 Oh, Al... 273 00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:40,138 ...it's time for your conjugal visit. 274 00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:44,609 Okay. Bud, help me. 275 00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:52,854 Shut up, Al. You're my bitch now. 276 00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:57,174 Oh, the horror. 277 00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:00,056 The horror. 278 00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:04,140 No, no, Peg. No, I can't. 279 00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,058 My knees are all skinned. I'm bruised. 280 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:09,411 I got a press-on nail stuck in my butt. 281 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,450 Relax, Dad. 282 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:13,888 Oh, son, thank God. 283 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:17,695 Son, get me out of this thing before that thing comes back. 284 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,058 You promise to make the repairs? 285 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:24,173 Okay, son, you win. You win. 286 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,495 Gee, Dad. 287 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,897 Mom left teeth marks all over your neck. 288 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,456 No, son. That was me. I tried to sever my own jugular. 289 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,936 Damn clotting. 290 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,137 Okay. I'll let you go, but you got to promise... 291 00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:45,537 - ...to give me a head start? - Why, sure, son. What do you think? 292 00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:47,935 I'm going to track you like a dog and kill you? 293 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:52,019 Sure, a normal father would do that, but we're Bundys. 294 00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:56,050 Oh, God, what does that mean? You're going to eat me? 295 00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,450 No, Bud. 296 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:02,857 I want to give you a pat on the back. See, son, I-- 297 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,937 I never thought you took much after me. 298 00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:08,132 I always thought you were more of a Wanker than a Bundy. 299 00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:09,569 Why? 300 00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:13,170 Well, you know, your laziness, your sloping forehead... 301 00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,578 ...your ability to catch flies with your tongue. 302 00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,290 - This what you call a pat on the back? - No, son. 303 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:24,176 Now you got mad like anybody would, but you got mad and even. 304 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,495 See? 305 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:28,692 That makes you a part of the grand Bundy tradition. 306 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,619 You know, I'll never forget my old man. Sweet guy. 307 00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,459 Sold my Schwinn for the price of a drink. 308 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:39,338 I was so mad at him, before he knew it, I enlisted him into the army. 309 00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:42,615 When he came back from Korea, he was so ticked off... 310 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,970 ...it's a good thing he was in a wheelchair. 311 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:48,215 Beautiful story, Dad. 312 00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:51,378 The point is, I think that deep down my dad was proud of me. 313 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:52,695 Why, he said that? 314 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:56,529 Not in so many words, but he blinked twice for "Yes." 315 00:20:57,380 --> 00:21:00,577 So you're saying you were proud of me for the way I tortured you? 316 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:02,850 That I am, Bud. 317 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,016 Guess I learned from the best. 318 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:07,858 Son. 319 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,338 Dad. 320 00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:17,495 Hey, pal... 321 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:20,658 ...what do you say we fix this place up together? 322 00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:23,135 - All right. Let's go get a burger first. - Fine. 323 00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,900 - On me. - All right. 24561

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