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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Peg, I got a problem.
2
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,270
Nails drying.
3
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,553
For once, why couldn't it be
pie cooling, bread baking?
4
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,909
Divorce pending?
5
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:28,235
Look, Al, I am up from noon till Oprah,
solving this family's problems...
6
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,351
...and now I'm tired. I need a nap.
7
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,994
Kelly, come hold my hands up.
8
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,553
Dad.
9
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,592
Now, I'll listen to your problem
if you help me with mine.
10
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,873
Son, your problems are simple.
Just avoid liquids past 9:00.
11
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,874
Dad, I'm not 16 anymore, all right?
12
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,832
Life is a little more complicated.
I'm having serious girl trouble.
13
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,508
Well, me too, Bud,
and it's going to remain that way...
14
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,315
...unless the couch suddenly
develops a taste for human flesh.
15
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:06,237
Dad, please. Now, lately I can't get
any girl to go out with me.
16
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,035
Oh, now, Bud, I find that
hard to believe. I mean, look at you.
17
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,152
But then again,
looks aren't everything.
18
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,356
Personality is important,
so we'll skip that.
19
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,109
So basically,
you have nothing to offer a woman.
20
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,517
Son, what you have to do is lower
your standards. Think desperate.
21
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:29,748
Think a single version of your mother.
22
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,430
Thanks, Dad, thanks. Now I never, ever,
ever want to have sex again.
23
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,390
Welcome to the club, son.
24
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,635
Let's talk about my problem.
My boss, Gary, is crankier than ever.
25
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:47,355
She's been riding me
like a cheap carnival pony.
26
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,950
"Wait on the customers,
ring up the bills, don't steal."
27
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,830
What a shrew.
28
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,717
Bud, this father-son stuff ain't bad.
We ought do this more often.
29
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:50,838
So are you going to settle on those,
ma'am? They look beautiful on you.
30
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:55,033
Don't try those high-pressured
sales tactics on me.
31
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,750
I really thought this mule
would look better in white.
32
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,872
I bet that's what her husband said
on her wedding day.
33
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,316
Do you have it in black?
34
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,875
Ma'am, I would really
love to help you now...
35
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,595
- ...but I just went on break.
- Well, what about him?
36
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,473
Sorry, ma'am, I'm still on break.
37
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:20,233
And just when exactly
is your break over?
38
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,396
Well, it was gonna be
another 30 seconds...
39
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,990
...but now that I just helped
a customer, I got to start all over.
40
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,677
Rules are rules.
41
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,556
You know what we need, Griff?
A break room.
42
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,718
So we won't be bothered
by these hammertoed hags.
43
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,878
- Men, I need to speak with you.
- See what I mean?
44
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,199
Oh, let me take a wild guess.
You're on a break?
45
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,597
Don't interrupt us,
or we'll have to start over.
46
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:56,396
- You two are completely useless.
- We've noticed that ourselves.
47
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,194
We don't feel
that we're properly motivated.
48
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,277
Do you know
what would motivate us?
49
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,436
A cattle prod?
50
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,879
Well, yes, that, of course...
51
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,197
...but I was thinking
more in the line of a break room.
52
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,517
Oh, yes, a break room.
53
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,598
And I could throw in a big screen TV
and a fridge full of beer.
54
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,715
Hey, you're the boss.
55
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,392
Yes, I am. And before I build you
that dreamy break room...
56
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:33,355
...we're going to find out why
sales are down 500 percent this year.
57
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,870
Could it be the strength
of the deutsche mark...
58
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,310
...in today's international economy?
59
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,113
Women are walking less?
60
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,750
Nice try. Sit down, shut up.
61
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,315
We three
are going to go over the books.
62
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,198
Boy, that was close.
We almost got busted.
63
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,437
Yeah. Good thing
we don't keep any books.
64
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,153
Come on.
65
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,668
Dad, I'm here.
66
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,476
Looks good from here.
67
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,999
I was just looking for my dad.
68
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,270
Interesting place to look.
69
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,350
- Maybe I should go find him.
- Oh, no rush. No rush.
70
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,348
Well, well, well,
young Bud Bundy. Let's see.
71
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,189
I haven't seen you since I threw
your family out of the company picnic.
72
00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,272
You have certainly turned
into a handsome young man.
73
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,438
Your girlfriend
is a very lucky woman.
74
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,316
Actually, I don't have a girlfriend.
75
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,192
Really?
76
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:11,829
I would have guessed...
77
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,828
...that the ladies would be jumping
all over a studmuffin like yourself.
78
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,719
Well, you know, I bag my share.
79
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,998
You know,
I don't really want to be tied down.
80
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,839
Well, don't knock it
till you've tried it.
81
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,351
I think I hear my daddy calling me.
82
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:48,074
Where's the fire,
besides in my secret places?
83
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,758
What are you doing?
84
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,153
You.
85
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,277
- But--
- Don't fight it, Bud.
86
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,789
Well, you could fight it a little.
87
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,069
You are a genius, Al.
I can't believe that that worked.
88
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,919
When you tell a retired couple
their house is on fire...
89
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,032
...finishing their breakfast
just isn't a priority.
90
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,358
Mom, Dad.
What are you two doing up?
91
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:38,429
Looks like somebody
had a slumber party last night.
92
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,916
So it looks like
you took your dad's advice...
93
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,793
...and found yourself
a desperate one, huh?
94
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,673
- What makes you think that?
- Beer and Tang.
95
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,195
Bundy mimosas.
96
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,038
Must be a classy chick, son.
97
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,189
Yes, and she's painfully shy.
98
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,393
So why don't you two head on upstairs,
and you can have breakfast in bed.
99
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:09,151
Oh, he thinks
we're going to embarrass him.
100
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,669
Come on, son,
we're not going to scare away...
101
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,758
...a girl who's kind enough
to hang out with you.
102
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,397
Hurry up with these mimosas,
Love Bud.
103
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,909
I want to get out of here
before your pa--
104
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:32,472
Daddy. Daddy, wake up. Daddy.
105
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,035
- Honey, let me do it.
- Daddy.
106
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,992
Al, wake up.
107
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,231
Son touchy monster in jammies.
108
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,748
Daddy, don't worry about it.
109
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,795
Now, Bud is downstairs helping Gary
into her corrective undergarments.
110
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,113
It's naked in the basement.
111
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,799
Al, would you relax?
112
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,877
You told Bud
to find somebody desperate.
113
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:05,517
Well, when I said "aim low,"
I didn't think he'd excavate the tar pits.
114
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,632
I don't know what the big deal is.
115
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,513
I mean, lots of old rich people
like to date younger men.
116
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:17,475
Look at Cher,
Roseanne, Richard Simmons.
117
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,470
You're doing this to hurt me,
aren't you, Gary?
118
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:25,398
You had it in for me since day one.
119
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,673
Bundy, as much as you deserve it,
I am not doing this for revenge.
120
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:34,829
I am doing it because
I am genuinely attracted to Bud.
121
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,951
Oh, right,
like I'm supposed to believe that.
122
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:47,352
You obviously don't know your son.
He's a wonderful human being.
123
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,357
Who's his real father?
124
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:55,634
Well, it's Al, but you know, that night
I was thinking about Lyle Waggoner.
125
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,999
Old people always try to destroy
what they can't understand.
126
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,749
Man, parents just don't get it,
do they?
127
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,235
- It's all my fault.
- Oh, honey, don't blame yourself.
128
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,509
You're right, Peg.
129
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:17,316
It's all your fault.
You scarred him, Peg.
130
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:22,116
How could I have scarred him?
I don't even remember talking to him.
131
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,073
Peg, I'm telling you, he's looking
for the mother he never had.
132
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,077
Oh, that's ridiculous.
133
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,793
Blow.
134
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,510
Good boy.
135
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,910
So I told that punk son of my mine
and his gargoyle girlfriend...
136
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,190
...I never wanted
to see them together again.
137
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,550
You better not turn around.
138
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,595
Looks like Bud can't get enough
of that hot gargoyle love.
139
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,555
Bud is dead to me.
140
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:06,593
Damn. Al, look at your son go.
141
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,392
I have no son.
142
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,992
Those two were knocking boots
right in your basement?
143
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,270
I have no basement.
144
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,917
You guys on a break? Good for you.
145
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:27,149
Oh, Piglet, I almost forgot.
I got you a present.
146
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,635
Thank you, Pooh Bear.
147
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,395
When they start talking about
the honeypot, I got dibs on the sink.
148
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,631
Monogrammed beeper?
149
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,877
- What for?
- For when I need you.
150
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,198
I may not be available.
I mean, I do have a life of my own.
151
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,075
Oh, isn't that cute, Piglet.
152
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:59,071
And just remember, when it reads 911,
Pooh Bear needs you bad.
153
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,676
Say hello to Kanga and Roo for me.
154
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,959
What'd you throw that for?
155
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,391
Because the cash register's
bolted down.
156
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,352
Al, lighten up.
157
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,996
You didn't have a problem when Kelly
dated that wealthy older man.
158
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,829
I wouldn't have a problem
if Bud dated a wealthy older man.
159
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,110
Anybody but Gary.
160
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,197
Hey, Al.
161
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,950
I was in the tanning bed
and I heard about Bud and Gary, huh?
162
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,718
It's all over the mall.
163
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,639
- Let me guess. You're all for it, right?
- Natch.
164
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,435
Who cares if Gary's a tarantula
in Chanel? I've seen worse.
165
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,996
- You married worse.
- Exactly.
166
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,270
Don't you see the beauty of this?
167
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,996
Now that Bud has hitched his trailer
to Gary's sagging bumper...
168
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,076
...you're in for a long ride
on easy street.
169
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,396
No, no, no good can come of this.
170
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,556
Where do you want this fridge
full of beers?
171
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,593
Wherever. You don't understand
a father's feelings.
172
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,836
This is the worst thing
that's happened to me.
173
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,998
- Where do you want the TV?
- I don't care. Put it near the fridge.
174
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,475
I'm telling you,
there's not a power on Earth...
175
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,796
...that would make me accept
this unholy union.
176
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,119
Gary sent us here
to build you guys a break room.
177
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,389
But on second thought...
178
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,239
...who am I to get in the way
of two crazy kids in love?
179
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,873
Cheers!
180
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:35,475
Oh, no. Maybe this
Bud and Gary thing is all my fault.
181
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:40,549
Look, it says right here,
"What a mother does affects a child."
182
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,232
Kelly, was I a bad mother?
183
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,159
I don't know. Whose mother are you?
184
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,717
- Yours.
- Oh. Then were you terrible.
185
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,070
Who are you to judge?
Hey, don't you remember that time...
186
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,555
...I made you
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
187
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,479
Mom, it was petroleum jelly.
188
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,398
Yeah, and you didn't get chapped lips
that whole winter.
189
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,830
And I always took care of you
when you were sick.
190
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,234
Oh, please, Mom.
191
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,238
The time I had chickenpox,
you slapped makeup on my face...
192
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,351
...and sent me off to school.
193
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:24,395
And you met your first little boyfriend
that day, now, didn't you?
194
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,797
Yeah, Mikey Clemmons.
195
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,595
Boy, naptime
was a lot more fun after that.
196
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,631
Then I guess
I was not such a bad mother.
197
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,435
I guess not with me. But, you know,
you really screwed up Bud.
198
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,675
Peg, great news.
199
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,399
You know Bud's horrible, perverted
affair with Gary that you caused?
200
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,234
Yeah. I feel so guilty.
201
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,194
Like I should be on Court TV
with a blue dot on my face.
202
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,198
And yet in the bedroom
you complain about the paper bag.
203
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,917
Anyway, Peg, don't worry about it...
204
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,396
...because it's turned out to be
the greatest thing that happened to us.
205
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:05,828
What are you talking about?
206
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,918
I'm talking about
a break room, Peg, at work...
207
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,918
...with massage tables
and a fridge full of beer.
208
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,351
As long as Bud
keeps Gary happy, I'm happy.
209
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,712
And as long as I'm happy, I'm happy.
210
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,394
- Yeah, well, what about me?
- Don't be selfish, Peg.
211
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,678
Well, what about Bud's welfare?
212
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,156
Isn't this an unhealthy relationship
for our son?
213
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,432
Look what else Gary
put in our break room.
214
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,359
Belgian bonbons.
215
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,951
Well, you know,
I always liked that Gary.
216
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:47,680
Oh, look, Al, I'm using the good china
with the dividers.
217
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,917
Good idea, Peg. Gary's a millionaire.
She's used to classy things.
218
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,838
Now, if this relationship continues...
219
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,996
...we're gonna be
eating off paper plates...
220
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,156
...and then just throwing them away.
221
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:01,558
Hey, which side
does the salad Spork go on again?
222
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:06,276
- On the left. Who raised you?
- No one.
223
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,638
How come you don't put out
the good plastic for my boyfriends?
224
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,832
Because your boyfriends
don't use utensils.
225
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,959
I'm so sick of this.
226
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,833
You know, I'm the oldest.
Bud's always been your favorite.
227
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,838
Just because he walked first,
and he talked first...
228
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,270
...and he can name all 20 states.
229
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,870
I will tell you--
I'll tell you what else he did first.
230
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,513
He found himself a sugar daddy.
231
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,280
Something we thought
you would do, young lady.
232
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:36,190
Face it, Kelly, Bud beat you.
The dark horse came in first.
233
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,391
Oh, now you got Bud a horse?
234
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,636
Hey, I was the one
who always wanted a horsey.
235
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,434
- Dad--
- Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, concentrate.
236
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,110
If you help us tonight,
maybe Gary will buy you a horsey.
237
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,949
Oh, no. If she's that rich
I want a unicorn.
238
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,673
Fine.
239
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,553
Somebody call heaven.
There's an angel missing.
240
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:09,231
Oh, very, very nice, Bud.
Is this Baby Armani?
241
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,434
Doesn't he look great, Al?
242
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,473
You know, you remind me
of a very handsome young man...
243
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,636
...that was once
madly in love with me.
244
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,355
- You mean Daddy?
- Honey, I said handsome.
245
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,235
And in love with her.
246
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,110
I appreciate all the trouble
you went to...
247
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,834
...but I'm not sure I feel right
about Gary and me.
248
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,311
What are you talking about, Bud?
249
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,910
You and Gary
are perfect for each other.
250
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,395
Dad, she's getting more
and more possessive.
251
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,272
I mean, we don't even talk anymore.
252
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,040
I feel like all I am to her
is a piece of meat.
253
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,832
My area. Let me handle this.
254
00:17:54,120 --> 00:18:00,195
Okay, Bud. So you're feeling
like a cheap sex toy, huh?
255
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,676
Yeah. It's demeaning.
How do you handle it, Kel?
256
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,394
I just accept it. I mean, come on.
Fish, they gotta swim.
257
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,275
The birds gotta fly. Cookie Monster's
gotta eat whatever the hell he eats.
258
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,675
You know what I mean? You know?
259
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,953
No.
260
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,675
Dad, how am I supposed to stay with
somebody who doesn't respect me?
261
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,871
Honey, if marriage
was based on respect...
262
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,117
...your father and I
would have never gotten together.
263
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,548
That's right, pookie.
264
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:28,749
Excuse me.
265
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,872
- Who said anything about marriage?
- Well, Bud, you love Gary.
266
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,755
- No, I don't, Dad.
- Don't talk back to your father.
267
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,872
And love and marriage
go together like--
268
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,316
Peg, what do love
and marriage go together?
269
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,431
How the hell would I know?
270
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,113
If you two are so happily married
let's see you kiss.
271
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,677
Well, sure, we could do that...
272
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,997
...but I think that years of love
and commitment...
273
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,476
...can best be represented
by a hearty handshake.
274
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,800
I said a kiss. That means lips.
275
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,797
Sure.
276
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,670
Oh, come on, Daddy,
you can do it. Just close your eyes.
277
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,197
Bud, Bud, Bud, don't ruin this for me.
278
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:31,314
Piglet, I've been paging you for over
an hour. Why didn't you call me back?
279
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,636
Well, I turned off the beeper.
280
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,751
- How dare you?
- Bud, you're grounded.
281
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,237
What is it, Piglet?
282
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,910
You know, we've had
some great times together...
283
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:52,194
...and I appreciate everything
you've done for me, and to me.
284
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,358
I think we should just be friends.
285
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,393
- Do not listen to him.
- Wait a minute.
286
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,238
You're dumping me?
287
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:05,673
Without me, you will spend
the rest of your life in this hellhole.
288
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,429
- No offense.
- None taken. Shall we have dinner?
289
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,871
I can get out of this on my own.
I don't need to be anybody's boy toy.
290
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,071
I'm going to make it
on brains and talent.
291
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,636
Oh, Peg, we're never
going to get rid of him now.
292
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,028
Go ahead, scoff.
At least I've got my dignity.
293
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,630
Well, Bundy,
I guess you know what this means.
294
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,513
Generic beer
in the break room fridge?
295
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,597
Guess again.
296
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,711
Less attractive masseuses?
297
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:46,711
Try no beer, no massages.
In fact, no break room.
298
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,515
And I'm installing a pay toilet.
299
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,870
Oh, that's not right.
300
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,389
I can't believe
I'm not going to get my unicorn.
301
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,672
Oh, I can't believe
I polished Sporks for her.
302
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,713
I can't believe I almost kissed you.
303
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,434
This means that
Bud's not the favorite now, huh?
304
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,834
Damn right.
305
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,916
So that means
I'm the favorite now, right?
306
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,473
Sure, why not?
307
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,910
Look, Gary's gold card.
308
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:21,078
Hey, forget the fried chicken.
Tonight it's fried lobster.
309
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,317
Oh, wait a second.
Shouldn't we wait for Bud?
310
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,318
What does he need lobster for?
He's got dignity.
25460
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