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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,789
You know I'm not one
to beat around the bush.
2
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Unless, of course, you're in it.
3
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,073
So I'll make this fast.
4
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Like you know any other way.
5
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,111
I'm planning a get-together for the guys
and you're going to help me.
6
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,596
Oh, God, Al.
Didn't I just get all dressed up...
7
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...so I could go to some tired party
and impress your friends?
8
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,918
That was the senior prom, Peg.
9
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,633
And you were only in your dress
for 20 minutes.
10
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,434
Now, there's a big wrestling show
on cable Saturday night.
11
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,636
- Is it pay-per-view?
- No.
12
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,592
It is now.
13
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,913
Oh, come on, Peg. You want me
to look stupid in front of my friends?
14
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:48,478
The same friends who use Silly Putty
to give Nancy and Sluggo hooters?
15
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,712
Well, at least those hooters
are fun to play with.
16
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,830
Look, Al, it's not like I don't want
to help you, but I'm very busy.
17
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,917
You think I just sit here all day long?
18
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,917
No, no, Peg. No.
19
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:06,671
From the potholes in the couch,
I'd say you sit here, and you sit here.
20
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,158
I don't sit there,
that's where I put my food.
21
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,919
Caramel corn on the cob.
22
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,594
Needs more butter.
23
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,678
Today on Oprah,
a clean house is a safe house.
24
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Yeah, right.
25
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I'm home.
26
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,551
Oh, Peg, don't-- Don't get up.
27
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What's that? A beer? Sounds good.
28
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,555
No, let me get it.
29
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,195
Way to home-make, Peg.
30
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,877
What am I complaining about?
There's food and her mouth is shut.
31
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,514
For future reference,
the next time a producer asks you...
32
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,429
...what your method is,
please don't say the sponge.
33
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,878
Well, at least my form of birth control
isn't Miss Piggy sheets.
34
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,116
- I do not use Miss Piggy sheets.
- Yes, you do.
35
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,559
Kids, kids. Keep it down. Keep it down.
Your mother needs her rest.
36
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,956
The house is a mess,
and the family's starving.
37
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,355
Her work here is done.
38
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,195
Dad, Mom doesn't look so good.
39
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,274
You should see her
without her mask.
40
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:40,750
Look at this TV Guide. The last
chocolate stain was at 3:00 today.
41
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,555
She's obviously been
unconscious for hours.
42
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,713
Hey, and look. There's a dent
on the coffee table like--
43
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,310
Like it's been hit
by a big, hard hairdo.
44
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,190
Listen, Nancy Drool
and Hardly Boy...
45
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,070
...it's impossible for your mother
to have fallen.
46
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,319
That would mean that at some point,
she would have to have been standing.
47
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,637
Mom stands. I saw her the other day.
48
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,433
That was just to shake
the crumbs out of her cleavage.
49
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,755
Dad, look, a bonbon stain.
50
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,355
Mom must have slipped on one.
51
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,479
I got it.
52
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,914
Nice try, punk.
53
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,915
Hey, Mom needs one of those guys.
54
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,999
The ones that make you take your
clothes off when you go to their office.
55
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,038
Principal?
56
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,835
Your mother doesn't need a doctor.
She's breathing. She's fine.
57
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,629
Now relax
and let Daddy enjoy his weekend.
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00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,470
Oh, my God.
59
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,953
Damn.
60
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,676
Am I in hell?
61
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,750
No, if you were in hell,
you'd be on a throne...
62
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,190
...and the devil would be packing.
63
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,879
Who are you people?
I don't recognize you at all.
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00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:21,715
Well, in that case,
thanks for stopping by. See you soon.
65
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,999
Hey, I don't even know who I am.
I don't know anything.
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00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,270
Only thing you have to know
is Route 55...
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00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,391
...is the quickest way out of town.
68
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,356
Oh, my God. Mom has Indonesia.
69
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,950
Now, now, Kelly,
don't bother the nice lady.
70
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,673
She's just on her way out.
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00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,917
- Where am I going?
- You're going to see your family.
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00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,680
They must miss you.
You seem like a very nice person.
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00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,793
- Have a nice life.
- Oh, no. Now Dad's got it.
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00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,395
No, no. We are your family.
75
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,108
See, I'm your daughter, Kelly...
76
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,996
...and this is your son, Quasimodo.
77
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,590
Speaking of humps...
78
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,194
...why don't we tell Mommy
your nickname?
79
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,833
The Little Fur Maid.
80
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,311
You know,
I don't remember any of you.
81
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,512
But if you say you're my family,
I guess it's true.
82
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,231
Why would we lie about something
the courts have ruled on repeatedly?
83
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,393
Feeling better, Mom?
84
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,672
Well, Quasi, my head kind of hurts...
85
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,476
...and I'm starving.
86
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,795
Aren't you guys hungry?
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00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,235
You know we're hungry.
88
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,637
Well, why don't I make
some dinner then?
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00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:51,068
Mom's cooking?
I'm going to call the doctor.
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,840
Touch that phone, I'll kill you.
91
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,838
Kids, now that
we've retrained Mommy...
92
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,952
...I've come up with a schedule
to maximize her productivity.
93
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,799
There are three of us.
94
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,231
Mommy can only work
24 hours a day.
95
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,913
Why?
96
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,750
There are two of us.
97
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,071
So let's divide this up evenly.
98
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,636
I get Mommy for 23 hours.
99
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,668
You get her for one.
100
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,516
Well, that's not fair.
101
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,109
I-- I love Mommy more.
102
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,114
No, I love Mommy more.
103
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,909
But I'm the only one
who had to love Mommy.
104
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,956
There's not even time
for Mom to go to bed.
105
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,799
Now you see
the brilliance of my schedule.
106
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:49,638
Hey, you guys have got to see how
clean Mom got the bathroom upstairs.
107
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,991
Did you know
that there's a window above the sink?
108
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,948
Kell, there's--
There's no window in the bathroom.
109
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,639
Yes, there is.
110
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,592
It looks into the house next door.
111
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,555
You know, there's this girl there
who looks exactly like me.
112
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,189
Every time I look over there,
she's always staring at me.
113
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,876
Maybe she's a lesbian.
114
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,716
Maybe she's an idiot.
115
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,915
She does kind of have
this really stupid look on her face.
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00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,269
Come on. I'll show you.
I hope she's home. Come on.
117
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,829
Hi, Al. I got all the stuff
for your wrestling party.
118
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,918
Oh, except those
special french fries that you love.
119
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,237
I thought I'd just crinkle-cut them
myself. Is that okay?
120
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,399
Well, I'll let it slide, Peg,
since you're still recovering.
121
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,949
You know, I am a little tired.
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00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,391
Are you sure that I don't
sleep at all?
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00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,874
- Ever?
- It's odd, isn't it?
124
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:09,435
Well...
125
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,950
...there's just so much to relearn.
126
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,116
Let's see, I think I've got it though.
I love housekeeping.
127
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,675
I hate shopping,
except for groceries...
128
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:24,038
...and I can't stand
that stupid Oprah Winfrey Show.
129
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,114
Very good, honey.
Now, there's just one more thing.
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00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,072
You hate sex.
131
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,914
Don't want it. Have no use for it.
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00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,431
I know it's tragic, but I've learned
to live with it many years ago.
133
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,520
That's why you have to go
to the Jiggly Room.
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00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,193
That's it.
135
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,992
- To spare you.
- Al, you are such a good husband.
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00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,875
You have been so patient with me.
And I got you a copy of Big 'Uns.
137
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:55,039
I cut out all the articles,
so they won't slow you down.
138
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:03,352
Oh, baby, you're the greatest.
139
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,635
How does she get them
so crinkolicious?
140
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,794
I could really learn
to love that woman.
141
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,398
Hey, Daddy.
142
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,751
You-- You might not remember this...
143
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,997
...but before your accident...
144
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,078
...you had promised me a new car.
145
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,717
Pumpkin,
you might not remember this...
146
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,550
...but Mommy is the vegetable
in the family.
147
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,152
Oh, right.
148
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:56,988
Well, the other one.
149
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,117
Pumpkin, can you see
who's at that door?
150
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,152
No.
151
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,790
Maybe I need glasses.
152
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,477
Okay, Al.
153
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,518
I'm here.
154
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,957
Hey, hey, hey, do I smell...
155
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,354
...food?
156
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,708
Jefferson, my man,
I got more food stuck in my teeth...
157
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,798
...than my colon's seen
in many a year.
158
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,956
Thanks for sharing that, Al.
159
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,515
Oh, I'm not sharing it.
160
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,471
You-- You seem happy, Al.
161
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,473
It's a miracle, buddy. Behold.
162
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,636
Oh, Peg.
163
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,117
Excuse me,
while I just rinse out these gloves.
164
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,437
You know, considering
what a good housekeeper I am...
165
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,791
...that shower drain was just filthy.
166
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,797
There's a drain?
167
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,515
What's going on?
168
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,508
Head injury, amnesia, reprogramming,
crinkle fries. Don't tell Marcy.
169
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,550
Oh, Peg, this is our
next-door neighbor, Jefferson.
170
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,951
Oh, the free-loading gigolo.
171
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,159
Would you like to try some bologna
I made from scratch?
172
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:30,593
It's part of the cavalcade of cold cuts
I'll be serving at Al's wrestling party.
173
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:36,272
Hey, is that radish carved
in the shape of Hulk Hogan?
174
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,955
Well, nothing's too good for my Al.
175
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,919
Speaking of that, I'm about to do
another load of underwear.
176
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,554
Did you give me all your yellows?
177
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,950
Sure did, honey.
178
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,635
Hey, where do I have to hit Marcy
to make her like that?
179
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,759
Just hit her a new place every day.
180
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,672
Jefferson...
181
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,037
...you worthless cabana boy.
182
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,754
I told you six times to wash
the Mercedes and it's still filthy.
183
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,596
Is that pine freshness?
184
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,274
Hey, my shoes aren't sticking.
185
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,589
What's going on?
186
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,400
- Is someone else here?
- No, not really, Peg.
187
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,878
I was just-- Just tipping the paperboy.
Thank you, sonny.
188
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,357
Now, don't be rude, Al.
189
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,996
Perhaps the paperboy would like
some homemade peach cobbler.
190
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,229
Okay.
191
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:48,116
I know I'm not in a parallel universe
because Jefferson would be working...
192
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,517
...and Al's fly would be zipped.
193
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,751
So, what the hell is going on?
194
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,194
Oh, well, it's very simple.
195
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,834
I bumped my head,
and now my loving husband Al...
196
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,476
...is helping me to regain
my former personality.
197
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,668
- Really?
- Here we go.
198
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,678
Al, you monster.
199
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,117
Look, I can't let this happen.
There's something you have to know.
200
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,232
Yes, there is. I forgot to tell you
that among other things...
201
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,638
...you love to wash and detail cars,
especially Mercedes.
202
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,513
Right, Marcy?
203
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,991
Right.
204
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:37,230
Oh, Peggy, you don't have to do that.
Chamois lint.
205
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,793
Sorry. Oh, and I'm sorry
I didn't finish re-glazing your bathtub.
206
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,672
I'll do it when you're sleeping.
207
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,190
Do you sleep?
Because Al says good women don't.
208
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,596
Oh, I can't stand this another minute.
Look, Peggy...
209
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,597
...Al has brainwashed you.
210
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,593
You are not cheerful, tidy
and hard-working.
211
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,314
You are rude, mean and sloppy.
212
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,679
You're a horrible wife, a worse mother,
and proud of it.
213
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,798
I beg your pardon?
214
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,077
Peggy. And I say this with love.
215
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,273
You're the laziest bitch in Chicago.
216
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,237
And you are a bitter woman,
Marcy D'Arcy.
217
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,034
You see my loving,
picture-perfect family...
218
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,959
...and suddenly, your pretty boy
husband and foreign car...
219
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,316
...don't seem so spiffy, do they?
220
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,752
Well, your jealous lies aren't going
to get to Mrs. Al Bundy. Good day.
221
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,234
Peggy, wait.
222
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,672
And for future reference,
my Al prefers his paper on the porch...
223
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,070
...not in the bushes.
224
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,752
Remember that,
or we'll tell your supervisor.
225
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,959
Hey, nice job peeling these grapes,
Peg.
226
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,878
Al, I have been lied to
and manipulated.
227
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,113
I can explain, Peg.
228
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,191
I can't believe what Marcy just said.
229
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,789
How can anybody
be so vicious and cruel?
230
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,316
She lies, Peg. She lies.
231
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,869
I know, Al. She's trying to tear apart
our happy family.
232
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,117
You know, I think she wants you.
233
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,398
She has been stalking me, Peg.
234
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,036
You may have to kill her.
There's a chain saw in the garage.
235
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,032
Oh, Al, I'm so mad.
236
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,949
I'm just so mad I could bake.
237
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,917
May I suggest...
238
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,151
...pudding in a cloud?
239
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,115
Eat up, boys. The little woman's
bringing plenty more.
240
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,073
So you finally dumped Peg, huh?
241
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,150
Better. I tamed the shrew.
242
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,634
Welcome, everyone.
243
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,639
What's wrong?
244
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,711
Do I need to freshen
the weenie tots?
245
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,758
Oh, no, no, no.
Everything's great, honey.
246
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,230
Yeah. It sure is, Peg.
247
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,352
Say, how did you get
these margaritas so frothy?
248
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,752
Well, I have this battery-operated
cocktail stirrer.
249
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,635
I found it in my nightstand.
250
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,115
Here we go.
251
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,714
Wow, look what happened to Marcy.
252
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:47,670
I don't know what you guys are doing,
but please come do it to my wife.
253
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,991
This isn't Marcy. This is Sally.
She's going to be our ring girl.
254
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,708
What is going on here?
255
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,309
Al, I hate to accuse you of this...
256
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,479
...but did you sleep with Peggy?
257
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,597
Are you crazy? That would violate
our first commandment.
258
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,190
Thou shall never covet thy own wife.
259
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,440
Oh, hey, hey,
the undercard's starting, everybody.
260
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:20,870
Here we go. Oh, yes, yes.
261
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,318
I think you better rearrange those.
262
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,229
- How's that?
- Oh, better. Much, much better.
263
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:36,958
Oh, Al.
264
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,392
- She's every man's fantasy, huh?
- She sure is.
265
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,078
Hey, Peg.
266
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,913
- What are you doing?
- Greasing my muffin tins.
267
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,509
Hey, can I grease a couple?
268
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,119
Thanks, honey. But, you know...
269
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,432
...you have to spread them just right
or they won't rise.
270
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,996
Well, that's not going to be
a problem.
271
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,559
Come on, Al.
272
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:07,151
Fat Snoopy Schwartz just bit the nobs
off the human trash compactor.
273
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,076
Boy, you sure know your way
around a rolling pin.
274
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,918
Oh, it's easy, Al.
275
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,951
You just grab it with both hands...
276
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:21,109
...and go back and forth,
back and forth.
277
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,676
Peg. You're driving me crazy.
Let's go upstairs.
278
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,230
Oh, Al, you're terrible.
We're hosting a party.
279
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,671
Besides, you told me
that I don't like sex.
280
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,632
I'll make it quick.
281
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,989
Wow, you just got out of prison?
282
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:47,312
That means you haven't had sex
for a long time.
283
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,838
Nothing that I care to discuss.
284
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,958
- Oh, Al.
- Oh, yes.
285
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,989
Oh, yuck.
286
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,398
- Oh, Al.
- Oh, yes.
287
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,473
Oh, Al.
288
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,433
Oh, Al.
289
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,676
Don't move.
290
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,677
She's back. Grab your weenie tots
and run for your lives.
291
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,119
I'm gonna kill you.
292
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,873
How could you brainwash me?
293
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:33,631
I can't believe I've actually cooked,
and cleaned, and crinkled.
294
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,400
Al Bundy, I feel so violated.
295
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,600
Al-- Al Bundy? Is that my name?
296
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:42,675
Who are you?
297
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,950
Gosh, you're a pretty woman.
298
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,635
Nice try, Al.
299
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,912
There is only one punishment
severe enough for you.
300
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,799
No smiley face
on my omelet tomorrow?
301
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,390
No omelet, just toast?
302
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,438
No toast at all?
303
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,789
Upstairs.
304
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,036
Why, Peg, why?
305
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,596
- There's no-- There's no food upstairs.
- Oh, don't worry, Al.
306
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,598
When I'm done with you,
you won't have any appetite at all.
307
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,631
I know.
308
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,513
Don't go away. We'll be right back.
309
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,755
Hey, Bud,
I'd like you to meet the girl next door.
23848
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