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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,993
Okay, kids, you know what today is?
2
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,317
Mom, don't ask Kelly
tough questions like that.
3
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,317
I know what today is.
4
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,115
It's the bright sunny part
before tonight.
5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:20,430
I guess I shouldn't have cleaned
her crib with Easy-Off.
6
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,396
Listen, Slow White...
7
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,838
...it's Dad's birthday.
8
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,474
For I'm a jolly good fellow
9
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,718
For I'm a jolly good fellowFor I'm a jolly good fellow
10
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,354
Who never zips up his fly
11
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,237
Al, I thought
you didn't like birthdays.
12
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,396
Your birthday, Peg.
13
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:54,271
See, I like getting older, because that
means I'm one year closer to death.
14
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,633
And it means I'm one year closer
to my successful second husband.
15
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,389
- Stepdaddy, yeah.
- Oh, stepdad, stepdad.
16
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,830
Come on, tell us, Mom.
What's he gonna be like?
17
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,439
He's gonna be real cool, right?
18
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,757
And I'll have lots of young
hot stepsisters?
19
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,309
Now, kids, you know the rules.
20
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:18,196
No talking about Lance
until Daddy's on the respirator.
21
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,673
Now, if you're done, I'd like to discuss
the three cardinal rules of my birthday.
22
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,350
Leave me alone, leave me alone,
no sex.
23
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,070
Gee, Bud,
sounds like your prom night.
24
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:38,680
As much as I appreciate last year's
lavish gift, a bar of Irish Spring--
25
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,348
With instructional video.
26
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:46,031
I thought it was the perfect gift,
Soap-On-A-Dope.
27
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:51,390
--this year, all I want is to be alone,
having breakfast with my loved ones.
28
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,434
- Oh, Daddy, that's so sweet.
- At the Jiggly Room.
29
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:02,680
Then after work, I'm going to cash in
my free birthday coupons.
30
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,477
You're supposed to be under 6
to get this ice cream.
31
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:11,470
Well, if that was in inches,
you could get a double scoop.
32
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:13,993
Laugh all you want, Peg.
33
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:19,228
Oh, thanks, Al. But after sex last night,
I'm all laughed out.
34
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,312
Speaking of a pig in a blanket...
35
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,317
...I have an IHOP coupon here
I'm not sharing with anybody.
36
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,590
God, old daddy's mean.
37
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,155
Let's make a birthday card
for our new daddy, Lance.
38
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,839
All right.
39
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,758
Oh, boy, that Jiggly Room,
that serves a good breakfast.
40
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:18,078
Oh, yeah. The melons,
the muffins, the sticky buns.
41
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:22,273
Hey. And the food wasn't bad either.
42
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,476
You guys went to the Jiggly Room
for breakfast?
43
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,635
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
44
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,752
We brought you back
an Egg McBig'Un.
45
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,000
Now, that's a Happy Meal.
46
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,392
Yeah, but now
you won't want my gift.
47
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,680
Lunch at the Jiggly Room.
48
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,839
- That's great.
- Yeah, what are we waiting for?
49
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,951
- Come on. It's almost 11:00.
- Let's go.
50
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,599
Where do you think you're going?
Aren't you open?
51
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,509
Sorry, ma'am, but unlike your mouth,
we occasionally close.
52
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,752
I want my money back.
53
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,636
These shoes fell apart after one day
and I want to know why.
54
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,799
Well, you see, ma'am,
this is a plaid heel with a cork filling.
55
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,788
Whereas you are a giant seal
with a pork filling.
56
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,588
You haven't heard the last of this.
57
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,439
What goes around comes around.
58
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,349
Well, considering your orbit,
looks like I have about 10 more years.
59
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,238
How does this place stay open?
60
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,237
It doesn't.
61
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,309
- Wow, great birthday cake, Mom.
- Oh, thanks, Bud.
62
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,752
I've been slaving over it for hours.
I'm almost done.
63
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,315
So, what did you get Daddy
for his birthday?
64
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,034
We're gonna tint the windows
on the Dodge.
65
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,150
Great, then no one will know
we're in the car with him.
66
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,878
And what are you gonna get
the man who has nothing?
67
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,311
Me, the gift that keeps on buying.
68
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,152
Mom, you get him that every year
and every year, he returns it.
69
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,074
Actually, he never even unwraps it.
70
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,033
This year, the birthday boy is
gonna take me out to dinner...
71
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,037
...with those stupid coupons he got.
72
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,673
I'm gonna go take a bath.
73
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,950
With the cake?
74
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,989
It's a sponge cake.
75
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,590
Lance loves my sense of humor.
76
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,834
Bud, quick,
somebody stole Dad's car windows.
77
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,713
Come on. Come on.
78
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,836
Wild idea here, Kel, but maybe
the windows are in the doors.
79
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,676
What idiot would steal the windows
and then put them in the doors?
80
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,591
God, people call me stupid.
81
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,631
Not just people.
82
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,119
Haven't you seen the way
the dog looks at you?
83
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,435
And you remember that time
your sea monkey spelled "moron"?
84
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,916
Man, that was great.
85
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,032
But, Al, you're not 62 years old.
86
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,277
I am when I'm being spanked
by a topless birthday clown.
87
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,078
Speaking of spanking, that reminds me.
I got a big date tonight.
88
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,875
Well, take off. I'm gonna stick around
till 3:30 and get my overtime.
89
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,198
Damn, these one-hour days
are killing me.
90
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,716
Remember me, Bundy?
91
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,753
- No.
- The one you insulted.
92
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,350
I'm sorry, ma'am. You're gonna have
to be a little more specific.
93
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,872
You made fun of my weight.
You called me a giant seal.
94
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,197
Well, let's see. I had four elephants.
95
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,797
I had a rhino
who wanted some flip-flops.
96
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,638
I had a manatee.
97
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,590
No, no, don't remember any seals.
Can you jog my memory?
98
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,755
You know what jog is.
99
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,838
That's what you do
when the ice cream truck is pulling out.
100
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,753
- That's it.
- What? What did I say?
101
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,555
Al Bundy, you are charged
with crimes against obesity.
102
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,189
Two, four, six, eight,don't make fun of our weight.
103
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,756
Two, four, six, eight,don't make fun of our weight.
104
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,556
One, two, three, four,you're gonna fall through the floor.
105
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,510
Okay. I get it.
106
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,393
The NO MA'AM guys
sent you guys over here, didn't they?
107
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,079
It's a birthday gag.
108
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,350
One of you is supposed to
jump out of a cake...
109
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,397
...but you ate it on the way over,
right?
110
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,953
Bundy, we are activists.
111
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,436
Oh, I'd say not quite active enough.
112
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:05,118
It so happens we marched yesterday,
shoe schmuck.
113
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,790
In what, the Million Pound March?
114
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,238
What, Hams Across America?
115
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,238
Joke all you want, Bundy.
We've got all night.
116
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,318
I'd love to invite you all
to the Lobster Hut with me...
117
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,035
...but I don't think
I have any coupons for krill.
118
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,068
You're not going anywhere.
119
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:33,719
And just how do you girls
propose to stop an all-city fullback?
120
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,354
Ladies, I believe
we can work this out.
121
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,714
You're not grasping the gravity
of the situation, Mr. Bundy.
122
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,708
Oh, I think gravity
has its hands full right now.
123
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,150
We are putting you on trial.
124
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,114
When you are found guilty,
you will be punished.
125
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,639
Yeah!
126
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,159
Dip him in chocolate!
127
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,148
It's my birthday.
I wanna use my coupons.
128
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,478
You should have thought about that
before you called me a rhino.
129
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,311
How do you like your flip-flops?
130
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,752
They broke.
131
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,678
I'll get you a new pair right now.
132
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,475
He's making a break for it!
133
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,037
Hey, how come
you get to the read the directions?
134
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,669
Because I can. Now, get in the car.
135
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,998
Kelly.
136
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,473
I know this may be
a new experience for you...
137
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,875
...but why don't you try
the front seat?
138
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,194
Oh, wow, this is so cool.
139
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:01,431
All these knobs and these buttons
and this big wheel.
140
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,957
Does that look
a little more familiar now?
141
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,118
Oh, yeah.
142
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,920
Just get out of the car, okay?
143
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,839
All right.
144
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,997
Now, you put the tint on.
145
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,071
After I roll up the window.
146
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,674
Did I tell you
how pretty you look today?
147
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,673
No.
148
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,077
Good, then the blood
is still reaching my brain.
149
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,875
You're not gonna get away with this,
especially not with juror number two...
150
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,356
...leaving a trail of tamale hots
from the food court.
151
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,918
Do you want us to gag you?
152
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,112
You're already doing that,
but I would like to be blindfolded.
153
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,431
We will now hear
from our first witness.
154
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:04,077
My name is Matilda
and that man is fatophobic.
155
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,748
- And ugly!
- Look at his hair!
156
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,154
Order.
157
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,998
- Big Mac.
- Filet-O-fish.
158
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,952
Steamed vegetables.
159
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:17,757
Okay. A meatball sandwich.
I'll start tomorrow.
160
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:23,234
I first came to Gary's
about two years ago.
161
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,073
I don't understand it.
162
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,078
I was a size 6 before aerobics class.
163
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,795
All that jumping
must have expanded my foot.
164
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,478
Then I see you must have fallen
on your butt a time or two.
165
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,915
How dare you to say that to my face?
166
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,556
I'd say it behind your back, but my
car has only got a half a tank of gas.
167
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,555
What do you say to that, Bundy?
168
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:56,630
Well, I'd say I used heroic restraint,
much like the witness's girdle.
169
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:02,230
For every insult,
you lose a free meal.
170
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,873
Oh, come on. I didn't mean it.
171
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,356
Haven't you ever had something
just slip right out of your mouth?
172
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,670
I suppose not.
173
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:16,113
Come on,
it's not like I say this stuff all the time.
174
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:17,914
Are we finished here?
175
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,112
Well, I'm not sure
I like this shade of blue.
176
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,117
I'll tell you what I'll do then.
177
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,629
We'll stand you in front of a mirror.
178
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,195
I'll begin strangling you.
179
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,789
When you reach the shade of blue
that is satisfactory to you...
180
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,117
...you yell "moo" and I'll stop.
181
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,712
That's it.
I'm taking my business elsewhere.
182
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,876
May I suggest Jenny Craig?
183
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:51,470
With this attitude, you're gonna be
working here for the rest of your life.
184
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,795
Well, take a gander
into the seat next to you...
185
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,389
...if you wanna see
what your future looks like.
186
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,119
Come, Penelope.
187
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,596
Let's go some place
where they treat us with respect.
188
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,917
Well, try the moon.
You'll weigh less there.
189
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,559
Just a second here, Peg.
190
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,718
Dexter, get the tranquilizer gun.
191
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,480
I'm afraid we're gonna have to tag
and release this one.
192
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,191
Come on, Arnold. We're leaving.
193
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,753
I want a balloon.
194
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,235
You've already got one.
195
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,157
No more. No more.
I can't take any more.
196
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,318
Feeling bad, aren't you, Mr. Bundy?
197
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,636
My coupons.
198
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,351
You are incorrigible.
199
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,393
All right.
I am ready to announce my verdict.
200
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,433
Now, just a second, Judge Cheeto.
201
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,072
Now, I demand equal time.
202
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,272
Speaking of Equal,
you really ought to try some.
203
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,995
I would give you equal time...
204
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,478
...but who would be so loathsome
and horrid as to defend you?
205
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,636
Oh, Al.
206
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,400
Peg, thank God you're here.
207
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:19,151
Gee, Al, you really are tortured
by your customers.
208
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:24,229
We are trying to teach this man that his
behavior towards us is unacceptable.
209
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,432
But a better use of time would be
to teach each other the words:
210
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,756
"No, thank you, I'm full."
211
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,473
Does he ever stop?
212
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,159
Only in bed.
213
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,920
- But he never really gets started so--
- Peg...
214
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,510
...Peg, tell them about the time
I let your mother come live with us.
215
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,995
I'll take care of this.
216
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,838
You can't believe
how rude he was to her.
217
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,190
So she's big-boned as well.
218
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,192
You know, inside her, there's
a thin woman just dying to get out.
219
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,436
We all say that.
220
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,871
No, there really is.
221
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,954
Last Thanksgiving,
she ate my Aunt Edna.
222
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,150
I told her not to stand
so close to the pies.
223
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,237
That happens.
224
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,911
I lost a kindergarten class that way.
225
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,556
And I'm on trial.
226
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:31,717
Okay, now brace yourself.
I'm gonna pull it off on three, okay?
227
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,592
Three!
228
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,232
All right.
Should we try the blowtorch again?
229
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,750
Anything but that again.
230
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,557
All right. Well, I still think that
the razor worked the best.
231
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,511
I don't have any eyebrows left.
232
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,559
Sure you do. Here you go.
233
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,078
Look, Dad's gonna be home
any second.
234
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,510
We gotta get these bubbles out.
235
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,999
Fine.
236
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,879
Good, Bud, nice time for a nap.
237
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,711
Bud? Bud, wake up.
238
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,559
Darn it.
239
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:49,191
Bad Bud. Bad Bud.
240
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,189
Mrs. Bundy,
has your husband ever shown...
241
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,312
...any compassion
towards large women?
242
00:16:55,520 --> 00:17:01,072
Well, he did like that big mom
on What's Happening...
243
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,636
...but then, he even made fun of her.
244
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,637
Traitor!
245
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,398
Al, I'm under oath.
246
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,479
Oath?
You swore on a stack of pancakes.
247
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,636
I've heard enough.
248
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:20,789
Al Bundy, I find you guilty
of excessive cruelty to large women.
249
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,639
You should see
what he's like with midgets.
250
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,230
The proper term is "little people."
251
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,149
Well, that's the proper term
for anyone standing next to you.
252
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,958
That's it.
253
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:40,234
Hey. That's our dinner coupons,
you fat cow.
254
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,638
No, no, no,
we don't like to be called fat.
255
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,229
Then stay home.
256
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,432
You go girl.
257
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,636
Let the punishment begin.
258
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:12,073
Since it's your birthday and you love
the Jiggly Room so much...
259
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,989
...we decided
to bring the Jiggly Room to you.
260
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:23,070
But all the wrong things are jiggling.
261
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,756
No, stop. Stop. Stop.
262
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,319
I have a confession to make.
263
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,190
I was once overweight.
264
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,032
Yes, it's true.
265
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,834
I was in my early teens.
266
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,591
"Blubber-Butt Bundy,"
they called me.
267
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,712
They used to stick notes
to the back of my husky pants...
268
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,310
...draw mean pictures of me,
put a cowbell around my neck.
269
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,750
Kids can be so cruel.
270
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,235
Those were my parents.
271
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,873
So I guess what I'm trying to say
is that I make fun of you...
272
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,512
...because I'm trying to deny
my own pain.
273
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,671
Al Bundy, we are dropping
all charges against you.
274
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:27,749
Thank you,
my metabolically-challenged chums.
275
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,995
In fact,
we are gonna put out the word...
276
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,670
...that Gary's Shoes
is a friend to the large.
277
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,633
Oh, you don't have to do that.
278
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:45,949
It's just nice to realize that we really
are no different from each other.
279
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,711
You're right. We're exactly the same.
280
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:55,630
You know,
the only difference is I stopped eating!
281
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,988
Oh, Al, I never knew that about you.
282
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,316
Peg, I lied.
283
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,476
Just like I tell you
your hair isn't ridiculous.
284
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,875
I should be furious at you.
285
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,355
But since it's your birthday,
let's just go home...
286
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,516
...and I'll tuck you in with
some Big 'Uns.
287
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:20,754
Oh, Peg, my Big 'Uns or yours?
288
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,148
Your Big 'Uns, Al.
289
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,430
Thanks, Peg.
290
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,952
Peg, you know, I gotta tell you...
291
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,118
...spending eight hours
looking at fat women...
292
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,190
...you don't look half bad.
293
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,391
Oh, honey.
294
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,399
Oh, Al.
295
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,433
Oh, Peg.
296
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,871
Oh, Lance.
297
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,111
How did you replace
Dad's window so fast?
298
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,038
Jefferson, get out of the tanning bed.
299
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,391
Someone stole the window
to my Mercedes.
300
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,795
Happy birthday!
301
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,357
Hey, thanks, kids.
302
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,996
Hey, this turned out to be
a pretty great birthday after all.
23760
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