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1
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,309
What's up, cuz?
2
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,810
Oh!
3
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:10,844
What you doing?
Get out!
4
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,080
Get out! Get out!
5
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,515
I told you, open--
Open the door.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,718
Shoot. What's
Your problem, man?
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,188
Why are you gonna do
Your favorite cousin
Like that?
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:23,791
You know very well you are
Not my favorite cousin,
9
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,993
Mr. Cornelius eugene urkel.
10
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,861
I told you never
To call me that.
11
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:31,065
Oh, are you still going
By that ridiculous moniker,
12
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,933
Original gansta dawg?
13
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,835
That's o.G.D. To you,
14
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,870
And I dropped the urkel.
15
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,206
How could you?
16
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,841
The urkel name has
Such a long, proud heritage.
17
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:45,346
In swahili, it means,
"Rejoice, a giraffe
Is downwind."
18
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,648
Man, get out
Of my face with that.
19
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:53,020
So, o.G.D., what
Brings you to chicago?
20
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,489
Yo, I felt in the mood
To flow with my cuz.
21
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,790
I thought
We'd kick it a bit.
22
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,292
Ha!
23
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,997
You want money, right?
24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,566
4 gs.
25
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:07,901
$4,000?
26
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,370
Yo, hey, I got
Into a little trouble
27
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:11,071
With this dude
Named fresh squeeze.
28
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,873
He loaned me some money
To buy a new stereo.
29
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,276
I paid him back.
20% interest, too.
30
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:16,977
Well, what's
The problem?
31
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,812
Now he wants 600%.
32
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,281
Well, here's a thought:
33
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:23,717
This fresh squeeze fella
Just might be
A loan shark.
34
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,086
Look, steve, if
I don't get this money,
35
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:29,690
Fresh squeeze is gonna
Press the juice out of me.
36
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:30,924
Well, I'm sorry,
O.G.D.
37
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,460
I don't have
That kind of moola.
38
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,795
You're gonna have to
Figure this one out
On your own.
39
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:38,799
I'm off to visit
Our uncle
Admiral omar urkel.
40
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:42,102
He's gonna let me
Spend a few days on
A nuclear submarine.
41
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,371
So can I stay here
While you gone?
42
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,873
You can't
Even stay here
While I'm here.
43
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,675
Now let's go.
44
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,762
[hip-hop music blaring]
45
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,650
Hey, steve.
46
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,552
Another new look?
47
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:34,054
Not bad.
48
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,356
Thanks, boo,
49
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,925
But I ain't steve.
50
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,159
Well, then who are you,
51
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:41,429
And what are you doing
In my house?
52
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,032
Ha ha. I'm o.G.D.,
Steve's cousin
From detroit.
53
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,734
Ha ha. Wait, wait, wait.
54
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,003
You're actually
Related to steve?
55
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,372
Hey, man, I'm 3j,
56
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:54,442
And you look way too cool
To be an urkel.
57
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,545
I'm eddie, but you
Can call me e-dub.
58
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,013
Word.
Ahh.
59
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,449
And you...
60
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,852
Must be the legendary
Laura winslow.
61
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,153
Oh, yeah.
Steve was right.
62
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,856
You are finer
Than halle berry.
63
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,760
Mm-hmm, and I bet
You got more lines
Than the phone company.
64
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,864
Well, what does
O.G.D. Stand for?
65
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,766
Original gansta dawg.
66
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,635
Your mama name you that?
67
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,371
No, I did,
68
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,373
Right after
My mama left me.
69
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,541
I was raised
By my grandma.
70
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,610
So did steve
Let you in?
71
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,980
Yeah. He said
It'd be straight
If I crashed here for 72.
72
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:33,981
You feeling me?
73
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,082
Excuse me?
74
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,117
Uh, mama,
I believe that...
75
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,619
O.G.D. Wants
To know if it's okay
76
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,521
If he stays here
For the weekend.
77
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:43,123
I guess since he's
Steve's cousin...
78
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,692
He can stay
For the night.
79
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,427
Yeah.
Good.
80
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,568
Hey, 3j must
Really like you.
81
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,137
He's loaning you
His dinosaur pillow.
82
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,839
Of course he likes me.
83
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,141
What's not to like?
84
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:04,578
Oh, baby got back!
85
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,949
Yeah? Well,
Baby got fist, too.
86
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,620
Now, see...
87
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:15,155
Why you have to
Be so mean?
88
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,390
I'm not mean.
89
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,492
Look, I even brought you
An extra blanket.
90
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,561
Girl, you got me
So hot,
91
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,530
I don't need
No blanket.
92
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,233
[sighs]
93
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,268
Why are you so bad?
94
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,903
'cause I'm
So good at it.
95
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,373
Oh, do you think so?
96
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,375
Oh, I know so.
97
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,710
Now, when you
Gonna stop playing
These games
98
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,146
And give me
Some play?
99
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,715
Look, o.G.D.
100
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,518
I'm trying to decide
Between 2 guys,
101
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,455
And, babes,
If I were looking,
102
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,022
You're not my type.
103
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,191
Oh, really?
And, uh...
104
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,993
What's your type?
105
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:57,030
Well, guys with their names
On credit cards,
106
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:01,502
Not their arms.
107
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,371
Oh, you got jokes.
108
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:09,209
Oh, yes, I do.
109
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,312
Well, you see,
I ain't trying
To put you on lockdown.
110
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,481
Okay?
111
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,983
Just give a brother
Some love.
112
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,419
I am a guest.
113
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,053
Alright. Look...
114
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,522
Missy elliott's
Performing
115
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,091
At the sizzle club
Tomorrow night.
You want to come?
116
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,194
Mmm. I'm down.
117
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,929
But we're just
Going as friends.
118
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,431
This is not a date.
119
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:37,738
Friends can be
Lovers, too, you know?
120
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,973
You know,
That's really catchy.
121
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,677
You should put that
On your other arm.
122
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,879
I like her.
I like her.
123
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,319
What's up, o.G.?
124
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:55,255
Hey, 3j,
What's happening,
Little man?
125
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,490
Nothing.
126
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,225
Got this dope cd
For you, man.
127
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,259
It's off the hook.
128
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,495
Oh, bro, thanks.
129
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,732
Yo, yo, yo, I got
A cd for you, too.
130
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:05,699
Really?
131
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,069
And, these brothers,
They keep it real.
132
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,371
Oh, thanks, man.
133
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,040
Dang.
134
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,443
Your tattoos
Are all that.
135
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,145
I would get me one,
But, uh...
136
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,714
I hate needles.
137
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:24,217
Well, you know, a real man
Can handle the pain.
138
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:27,320
I can handle the pain.
139
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,756
Oh, you think so?
140
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:29,723
Yep.
141
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,893
Well, uh, let's see
What you got. Oh.
142
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,828
Oh, now I'm gonna
Whup you like
Your mama used to do.
143
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,296
Oh, wait.
Don't get me started.
144
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:37,330
Don't get me started.
145
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,399
Don't get it start--
Oh! Oh!
146
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,569
Don't get it started.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
147
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,970
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Watch the elbow.
148
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:47,007
Watch the elbow.
Don't walk into that, now.
149
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,476
Whoop.
150
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,444
Oh. Who called 5-0?
151
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,714
That's mr. W.
He lives here.
152
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,584
Oh. Ain't nobody
Say anything
153
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,519
About no cops
Living here.
154
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,822
Well--ha ha...
155
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,060
Who do we have here?
156
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,929
Mr. W., this is o.G.D.,
157
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,430
Steve's cool cousin.
158
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:11,899
He's staying with us.
159
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,767
Oh, really? Heh heh.
160
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,807
So where you from,
O.--you know.
161
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,911
Detroit.
162
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,913
Detroit. Oh.
163
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,681
Are you in school?
164
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,049
Nope.
165
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,619
Well, why not?
166
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:35,122
Yo, money, what's
With the third degree?
167
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,726
Well, first of all,
The name is mr. Winslow,
Not money,
168
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,161
And second of all,
I think I have the right
169
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:45,966
To know a little bit
About the people who
Are staying in my house.
170
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,435
But, mr. W.--
Hmm?
171
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,837
O.G.D.'s legit.
172
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,872
I mean, we've been
Kicking it all day.
173
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,541
He even gave me
This cool cd.
174
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:57,477
Oh, yeah?
Let's see that.
175
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,379
Now, 3j...
176
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,049
Now, you know
That I do not approve
177
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,784
Of this kind of music.
178
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,485
I do not
Want you listening
179
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:08,388
To lyrics that
Put down the police.
180
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:11,859
What's the matter?
You don't want the kid
To hear the truth?
181
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,328
I think it's about time
You head on up
To bed now, huh?
182
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,630
Alright.
183
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,098
Night, homey.
184
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,601
Night, little man.
185
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,103
Now, looky here. Uh...
186
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,404
You are not my son,
187
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,875
So I can't tell you
What kind of lyrics
To listen to,
188
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,578
But as long
As you're in this house,
189
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:35,182
This--this kind of music
Is off-limits.
190
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,650
Now, that's censorship.
191
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,686
What about
My freedom of speech?
192
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,721
Well, now, son,
You know, you are free
193
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:44,291
To speak whatever
You want to out there,
194
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,759
But when you're
In this house,
195
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,061
I will not tolerate
Disrespect.
196
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,463
You see, I'm an officer
Of the law,
197
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,465
And I'm very,
Very proud of it.
198
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,801
I work for the people.
199
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,604
I serve and protect them.
200
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:57,738
Not people like me.
201
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,272
'cause
I can't go anywhere
202
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:03,677
Without cops like you
Harassin' me
For no good reason.
203
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,880
Maybe if you didn't
Come off like a criminal...
204
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,952
You wouldn't be
Treated like one.
205
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,254
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who you calling
A criminal?
206
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,623
Son, step back
Off of me, now.
207
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,090
No. You gonna
Touch my pants,
208
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,792
And you gonna
Call me a criminal!
209
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,294
Hey, what's going on
Down here?
210
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,964
What's going on
Down here is
Police harassment.
211
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,866
What? Carl, what
Is he talking about?
212
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,367
Harriette, I do not
Trust this kid.
213
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:28,335
But, carl--
214
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,536
And since
When did we
215
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:32,673
Start opening up
Our home
To hoodlums?
216
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,742
Well, he's not a hoodlum.
He's steve's cousin.
217
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,409
Well, I don't care
Who he is.
218
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:37,444
He got to go.
219
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,478
Carl!
220
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:39,913
Bet! I'm gone!
221
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,449
Carl, we can't send
A kid out in the street--
222
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,685
This is not a kid!
This is a man!
223
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,154
And this man
Can take care of himself!
224
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,321
No diggity!
225
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,589
Now, wait a minute.
226
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,024
You two are
Being ridiculous.
227
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,693
The only thing
Ridiculous
228
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,828
Is this wild-haired
Little gangster
229
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,664
Sassin' me
In my own living room!
230
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,298
Hey, I'm just speakin'
The truth,
231
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,300
And you can't take it.
232
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,238
Carl! Carl!
Where you going?!
233
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,842
I'm going out
Before I do something
That I might regret.
234
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:12,680
Oh.
235
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:13,947
You listen to me,
Young man.
236
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,248
If you're gonna
Stay in my house,
237
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,951
You better check
That attitude
At the door!
238
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,937
Hello, carl.
239
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,973
Feeling
A little calmer now?
240
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,608
Yeah, yeah.
241
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,110
I just kept walking
Around the block
242
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,878
Until I cooled off.
243
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,680
Carl, you were gone
For 2 hours.
244
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,916
I was pretty steamed,
Harriette.
245
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,651
That kid really
Got under my skin.
246
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:55,455
Honey, I can understand
Why you're so upset.
247
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,457
I mean, he's a...
248
00:10:57,524 --> 00:11:00,393
Very confused
Young man.
249
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,662
That kid is trouble,
Harriette.
250
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,431
Carl, you stormed
Out of here
251
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:08,668
Before I could tell you
That I called o.G.D.'s
Grandmother in detroit.
252
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:12,806
Mmm. What's her name, u.P.S.?
253
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,842
Honey, she's
A very sweet lady,
254
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,677
And she says that o.G.D.
Is a good kid.
255
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:20,881
It's just that he
Hasn't had an easy life.
256
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,650
He is a thug, harriette.
257
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,954
He lives the lifestyle
Of a gangster,
258
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,089
And gangsters hate cops.
259
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,691
Well, carl,
Unfortunately,
Where he comes from,
260
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,861
The police
Are considered
The enemy,
261
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,796
So he doesn't
Trust cops.
262
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,530
But you can change
All that.
263
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,598
How?
264
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,033
By showing him
That most police
265
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,003
Are decent,
Fair people.
266
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:47,040
But, harriette,
Aren't you just
A little bit concerned
267
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:51,311
That he might have
A negative influence
On richie and 3j?
268
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,980
You know, carl,
269
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,983
He hasn't had
The advantages that
Our kids have had,
270
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:59,386
And so, yeah,
He's a little rough
Around the edges,
271
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,321
But let's
Be optimistic.
272
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:05,325
Instead of worrying
That o.G.D. Will
Rub off on the kids,
273
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,395
Let's just hope
That we rub off
On him.
274
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,732
Oh, well.
275
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:19,539
[mumbles]
276
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,374
Yeah. Ha ha.
277
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,512
[hip-hop music plays]
278
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,215
Oh, yeah. This place
Is slammin'.
279
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,983
Yeah. They get
All the best
Artists.
280
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:33,753
Not to mention
The ratio of homeys
To honeys is 3-1.
281
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,289
Ha ha. Well, I don't care
What the odds are,
282
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:39,659
'cause you know the e-dub
Always gets his share.
283
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,029
Oh, yeah. 1, 2, 1, 2.
284
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,663
Is everybody ready to party?
285
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,198
[cheering]
286
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,834
Make some noise.
Make some noise.
287
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,469
Give it up for the hottest
Rap artist around,
288
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,839
Missy "Misdemeanor" elliott.
289
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,106
Let's hear it.
290
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,942
* hey, yo, you know what? *
291
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,611
* me am super fly,
Super-duper fly, ha *
292
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,414
* hey, yo, hey, yo,
Hey, yo *
293
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,450
* ahh, ahh, ahh *
294
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,952
* yo, yo, yo, yo *
295
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,020
* uh-huh,
We are super fly *
296
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,756
* fly, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh *
297
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:10,858
* say what? *
298
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,492
* say what? *
299
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,994
* say what? Uh-huh *
300
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,830
* I was lookin'
For affection, uh-huh *
301
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:20,033
* so I decided to go *
302
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,936
* swingin' in my direction,
Say what? *
303
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,839
* I'll be out of control,
Uhh *
304
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,909
* let's take it
To perfection, uh-huh *
305
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,678
* just you and me, uh-huh *
306
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,614
* let's see if you can
Bring, bring, bring *
307
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,017
* the nasty out of me *
308
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,718
* n-n-now sock it to me *
309
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,087
* ooh, ahh *
310
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,722
* sock it to me
Like you want to-o *
311
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,926
* I can take it like a pro,
You know, uh-huh *
312
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:48,828
* do a long throw with
The backstroke, uh-huh *
313
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,965
* my hormones jumpin'
Like a disco, yeah *
314
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,868
* I'll be poppin' nasty
Like some crisco *
315
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,070
* and all you gotta say
Is let's go *
316
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,272
* uh, what'd you say? Yeah *
317
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,542
[music playing]
318
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,183
[doorbell ringing]
319
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,592
Can I help you?
320
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,028
I'm looking for o.G.D.
321
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:25,798
Oh, well, he's not here.
322
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,934
Who are you?
323
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,903
I'm fresh squeeze.
324
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,839
And your boy
Owes me some money.
325
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:36,843
Well, first of all, squeeze--
326
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,912
He's not my boy.
327
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,948
Okay, let me make this
Easy for you.
328
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,050
You tell me where he is,
329
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,218
Or I collect the money from you.
330
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:48,956
Well, since you
Put it that way
331
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,159
Let me take you
To where he is.
332
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,494
How many cows did it take
To make that coat?
333
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,296
?? Took to make that belt.
334
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,430
Mm-hmm.
335
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,943
Yeah, this is my jam
Right here.
336
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,811
Come on, girl.
Let's dance.
337
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,246
No, thanks.
I'm kind of tired.
338
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,782
Well, I'm tired, too.
339
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,151
I'm tired
Of all these games.
340
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,154
Now, when you gonna
Give me some play?
341
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,755
When you get some game.
342
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,392
I know the women in detroit
Don't fall for
Those tired lines.
343
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,894
Oh, but, baby,
You not knowing?
344
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:31,498
The ladies
Love some o.G.D.
345
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,334
Well, not as much
As o.G.D. Loves o.G.D.
346
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,304
Ooh. Ouch.
You went there.
347
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,240
Yeah, I did.
348
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,408
Excuse me.
349
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,610
Laura, will you go
To the ladies' room
With me?
350
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,112
I don't have to go,
351
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,647
But I will by the time
We get to the front
Of the line.
352
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,550
[cell phone rings]
353
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,555
[ring]
354
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,558
Who this?
355
00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,993
Who is this?
356
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,894
Depends on
What you sellin'.
357
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:06,833
Well, I'd like
To talk to laura.
This is her man, stefan.
358
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,701
Oh, really?
359
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:09,936
Well, tell me
Something.
360
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,304
If you her man,
361
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,573
Why is she out
With me tonight?
362
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,042
Could you
Give me a sec?
363
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,576
Look, I don't
Have time for jokes.
364
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,711
I have to be
On the runway
In 5 minutes.
365
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,180
Now, who is this?
366
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,450
This is o.G.D.,
Steve's cousin
From detroit.
367
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,553
Well, o.G.D.,
Would you please
Put laura on the phone?
368
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,655
I'm calling long distance
From italy.
369
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,989
Oh, one second,
Bro.
370
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,758
I'm gonna
Let you holler
At my man tone.
371
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,494
Yes. Tone? Who is tone?
372
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,039
[telephone rings]
373
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,280
Hello. Civilian observer
Urkel speaking.
374
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,148
Steve, this is stefan.
375
00:16:55,215 --> 00:17:00,620
What is with
This bizarre cousin
Of yours, o.G.D.?
376
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,921
Huh?
377
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,323
Well, he stopped
By the house
378
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,758
A couple of days ago,
Begging for a handout,
379
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,026
But I kicked
His keister
380
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:08,295
Every which way
But loose.
381
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,963
Really? Well, he's
Back for the weekend,
382
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,300
And get this:
He's hitting on laura.
383
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,534
Whoa!
384
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,036
[siren]
385
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,276
Steve?
386
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,044
Just a sec, stefan.
387
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,718
Uh...Captain...
388
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,386
I did it again.
389
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,922
You might want to
Self-destruct that baby.
390
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,457
My bad.
391
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,262
Whoo. I hope those things
Aren't expensive.
392
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,469
Alright, stefan,
Back to important matters.
393
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,805
Let's conference call
This o.G.D.
394
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,718
Man, what
Do you want?
395
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,189
Cornelius eugene urkel,
396
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,724
What in high holy heck
Are you up to?
397
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,594
Nothin', man. Just
Hangin' out with laura.
398
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:18,231
Well, I want you and your
Dreadful do back in detroit.
399
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:21,501
And you can go back on a bus or
In a box.
400
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,935
It's up to you.
401
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,537
Oh, that's big talk
From a dude
402
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,072
All the way
In italy.
403
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,441
Oh, oh, oh,
Well, I'm not in italy,
404
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,778
And I can be home
By tomorrow morning.
405
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,480
[siren]
406
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:38,885
Darn.
407
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,128
Hey, daddy.
408
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:52,165
Hey. How was
The concert?
409
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,566
Oh, missy
Was the bomb.
410
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,835
I'm assuming that
That's a good thing.
411
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,437
Yes. I am exhausted.
412
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,738
I'll see you guys
In the morning.
413
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:03,910
Okay.
Night.
414
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,312
Night.
415
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:09,949
Goodnight...
416
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,418
Cornelius.
417
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:20,092
So, um, c.O.D.,
Can I have a word
With you?
418
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,230
What, man? You gonna
Shake me down again?
419
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,431
I just wanted
To let you know
420
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:28,701
That your friend...
Squeeze stopped by.
421
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,169
Oh, yo, I'm outta here.
422
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,038
Ahem. You don't
Have to run.
423
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,940
You're safe here.
424
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,875
You don't know
Squeeze, man.
425
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,677
I ain't safe
Anywhere.
426
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,078
Yeah, well,
I had a little talk
427
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,681
With your friend squeeze,
And, uh...
428
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:43,683
He won't be
Bothering you anymore.
429
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,918
Well, what'd you do,
Pay him off?
430
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,154
Better.
I locked him up.
431
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,022
Serious?
432
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,190
Well, I recognized him.
433
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,560
He used to operate
Here in chicago,
434
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:58,064
And he left town
When we put
A warrant out on him.
435
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,532
Well, how'd you get
The drop on him?
436
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,668
Squeeze is
A dangerous dude.
437
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,103
Well, I told him
I was taking him
To see you,
438
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,338
And on the way
To the sizzle club,
439
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,574
We made a little detour
To the precinct.
440
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,076
You should have seen him
When about 5 cops
441
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,480
Surrounded my car
And said, "Surprise."
442
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,881
Cool!
443
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,652
You know, I'm gonna...
444
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,355
I'm gonna get my stuff
Together and...
445
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,757
I'll be out of here
In the morning.
446
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,860
Well, now, you know,
There's no rush.
447
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,630
You can stay
A little longer
If you like.
448
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,967
Hey, thanks.
449
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,437
You alright, mr. W.
450
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:44,243
So are you, o.G...D.
451
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,319
[carl laughs]
452
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:04,831
Man, I don't want
You to leave.
453
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,301
There's so much
I can learn from you.
454
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,002
I need you, o.G.
455
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,607
Know what, 3j?
456
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:17,510
Everything you need is
Right here in this house.
457
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:20,079
You got a family
That loves you.
458
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:21,714
That's all that matters.
459
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:27,420
Aha! There you are!
460
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,430
Yeah, what's up, steve?
461
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,732
You've been messing
With my woman,
462
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,702
And now you're
About to meet this
Swabbie's wrath.
463
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:50,877
Hey, uh, look...
464
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:51,778
I'm gonna be out.
465
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,946
I'll catch y'all
On the flip side.
466
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,582
Oh, well,
In that case,
467
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,316
Make love,
Not war.
468
00:21:57,384 --> 00:21:59,151
Live long
And prosper.
469
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:00,787
23 skidoo.
470
00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,425
Yeah, I'm gonna
Holler at you.
471
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:06,426
Okay, dude.
472
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,595
[stammering]
473
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,397
I thought that was
Pretty cool.
32412
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