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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,212
I'll see you in a week, julie.
2
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,168
- bye-bye, honey.
- bye, baby.
3
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:07,939
- have a good trip.
- thank you.
4
00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,308
Julie...
5
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,510
Did I ever tell you about
My uncle, habib kotter?
6
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,079
Habib kotter... No, go ahead.
7
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,781
Well, old uncle habib
Was a traveling salesman.
8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,428
He worked at the same
Company for 30 years,
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,386
And he never got a promotion.
10
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,786
How do you like that?
11
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,233
So one day, he figured,
"Why don't I get a promotion?"
12
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,668
He went in to the boss
And said, "Look, boss,
13
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,125
I've been workin' here for
30 years, I want a promotion."
14
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,438
Boss said, "I can't
Do that, habib,
15
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,773
You're just not bright enough."
16
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,040
He said, "Whaddya mean,
I'm not bright enough?"
17
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,576
The boss said, "Here,
I'll prove it to you."
18
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,610
Puts his hand against
The wall, he says,
19
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:34,867
"Habib, hit my hand."
20
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,279
Habib takes a swing at his hand,
21
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,383
The boss pulls the hand
Away and habib hits the wall.
22
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:40,417
"See, you're not bright enough.
23
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,718
You didn't know I
Was gonna do that."
24
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,742
So habib walks outta the
Office a little dejected,
25
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,955
The other salesman says,
"Did you ask him for the raise?"
26
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,557
Habib says, "Yeah, I
Asked him for the raise."
27
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:48,947
"Well, what happened?"
28
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,335
"He wouldn't give it to me,
Said I wasn't bright enough."
29
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,696
"What does he mean,
You're not bright enough?"
30
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,497
And habib said, "Well,
He proved it to me."
31
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:55,820
Guy says, "How did he prove it?"
32
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,056
Habib says, "Watch
This, I'll prove it to you.
33
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:03,428
Hit my hand."
34
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:08,366
♪
35
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,206
♪ welcome back ♪
36
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:17,942
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
37
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,011
♪ welcome back ♪
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,583
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
39
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,784
♪ well the names
Have all changed
40
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,987
Since you hung around ♪
41
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,122
♪ but those dreams have remained
42
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,358
And they've turned around ♪
43
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,561
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
44
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,507
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
45
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,664
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
46
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,632
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
47
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,668
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
48
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,004
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
49
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:48,240
♪ welcome back ♪
50
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:54,012
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
51
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:58,950
♪
52
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:15,033
I see the substitute
Teacher ain't here yet, huh?
53
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,635
Yeah... You know, I love
It when mr. Kotter goes
54
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,039
On those teacher
Conventions, it's terrific.
55
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:25,310
Gives my brain a chance to rest.
56
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:30,516
Just think... Mr. Kotter
Is way up in albany,
57
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,785
Learning all kinds of
New teaching techniques.
58
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:37,855
Yeah, too bad he has
To waste 'em on us, huh?
59
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:40,091
I wonder how come
Mr. Kotter went up there
60
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,426
Without mrs. Kotter?
61
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:45,697
Well, maybe it's because
Mrs. Kotter is with child,
62
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:49,033
And they can't
Afford three fares.
63
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,737
No, it's got nothin'
To do with that.
64
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,905
Pregnant people ain't
Supposed to travel.
65
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:57,942
I think it's against
The law or somethin'.
66
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:03,848
Look at this, look at
This, I got a bite, I got a bite!
67
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,885
Great... Now catch some
Tartar sauce, we can have lunch.
68
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,290
Here we are.
69
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,437
These are those wonderful,
Well-behaved children
70
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,695
I told you about.
71
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:22,133
Is he in the right class?
72
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,169
Children, this is your
Substitute teacher,
73
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,771
Mr. Overly.
74
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,141
Overly what?
75
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,746
Maybe they should
Be calling you underly.
76
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,820
You see, mr. Overly, they've
Accepted you already.
77
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,690
They, uh, they love to
Make their little jokes.
78
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:49,094
Yes... But, uh, why are
They called "Sweathogs"?
79
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,029
Well, that's cute.
80
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,264
Don't you recognize
A term of endearment
81
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,233
When you hear one?
82
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,579
You, uh, just start your lesson,
83
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,102
They're eager to learn.
84
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,181
- eh, mr...
- good to have you
85
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:03,175
Here at buchanan, overly.
86
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,175
He bought it!
87
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,344
I think the fool bought it!
88
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:17,856
Well, uh... You all look
Like a nice bunch of kids.
89
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:25,763
Reasonable... Eager
To learn... Well-behaved.
90
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:48,453
♪
91
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,426
I'm sorry, little
Juan, but I, for one,
92
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,028
Am gonna miss mr. Overly.
93
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,798
Yeah, well I've never seen a
Grown man cry like that before.
94
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,700
I don't see why
Mr. Overly was so upset
95
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,504
When we was
Just pullin' his leg.
96
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,283
Well, maybe it was too much
When we pulled the other one
97
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,473
And made a wish.
98
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,280
Hey, there's mrs. Kotter!
99
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:20,452
Yoo-hoo, mrs. Kotter!
100
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,819
Arnold, is that you?
101
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,221
Yeah, it's me.
102
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,457
I was afraid of that.
103
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,225
Come in, come in!
104
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:28,705
Hey, mrs. Kotter, you
Shouldn't be carrying
105
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,529
These, these heavy
Bags in your condition.
106
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,231
It's okay, freddie, really.
107
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,643
You're supposed to
Carry heavy things,
108
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,300
It keeps your muscles toned.
109
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,249
Oh, good... You wanna
Carry my books?
110
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:41,740
Now, we'll have
None of that, vincent!
111
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,242
Mrs. Kotter is with child.
112
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:47,112
Where... I don't see no child.
113
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,858
Hey, mrs. Kotter, you
Really should let us
114
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,159
Help you home with them bags.
115
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,261
Oh no, guys, really,
It's okay, I can manage.
116
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,086
Nah, nah, nah, that's very,
Very brave of you, mrs. Kotter.
117
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,023
Very brave, but, uh...
Mr. Kotter would have
118
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,258
Wanted it this way.
119
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:03,294
He's not dead, juan.
120
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,863
All right, here, here... Come
On, vinny, you take this one
121
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,843
And I'm gonna take this
One right here, huh?
122
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,801
No, I don't like
This bag, it's ugly.
123
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:14,172
Come on... Then you
And freddie switch.
124
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,552
Come on, freddie, I don't
Wanna hold the milk,
125
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,320
I wanted to hold
The chicken parts.
126
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,543
I ate the chicken parts.
127
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,978
Hey, I still got the eggs.
128
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:24,983
We could grown our
Own chicken parts.
129
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,996
Why don't you guys just put
What's left of the groceries
130
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,286
Down on the counter?
131
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,954
Okay, got it, baby.
132
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,322
Right on.
133
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,657
There you go.
134
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,736
Well, thanks a lot, guys.
135
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,237
I don't wanna keep
You any longer.
136
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:39,630
Oh, now what have we here?
137
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:45,503
Oh, that's a sweater that
I'm knitting for the baby.
138
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,872
Mrs. Kotter, he'll
Be fully grown
139
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,541
Before he fits into that.
140
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:53,178
Oh, well, I only learned
How to knit one size sweater.
141
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,887
I figure, when I'm done with it,
142
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,349
I'll just throw it in
The washing machine.
143
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,184
Can you put a new baby like
That in the washing machine?
144
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,458
Well, it's been a
Really nice visit,
145
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,194
And I wanna thank you
Guys for helping me.
146
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,900
They're not going.
147
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,803
Look, mrs. Kotter, we know
What you're goin' through.
148
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:19,992
You may not believe this,
149
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,741
But all of our mothers
Have been pregnant.
150
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:26,244
Not my mother.
151
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,279
She's a saint.
152
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:32,551
One day, she woke
Up, and there I was.
153
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,463
And then there was
These three wise men.
154
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,188
They all came with gifts.
155
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,658
There was a waffle
Iron, a toaster,
156
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,595
And a donald duck night light.
157
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,097
Catching up on our
Reading, mrs. Kotter?
158
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,899
Oh, they're all baby books.
159
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,968
Oh, how nice.
160
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:52,571
The kid'll have
Somethin' to read.
161
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:56,541
Oh, it's got pictures.
162
00:07:56,610 --> 00:08:04,610
Ohh... Ohh... Ohh!
163
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:12,524
I'm sorry, but this doesn't
Look like no stork to me.
164
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,659
I feel faint!
165
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:19,564
Lemme see that book.
166
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,233
You know, you are so
Dumb, I can't believe it.
167
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,170
Storks don't bring
Babies no more.
168
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:29,474
They used to, years ago.
169
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,210
But then they
Started makin' mistakes,
170
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,647
Bringin' 'em to the wrong
Houses and whatnot.
171
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,783
So they fired the storks.
172
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,487
Now they get
Ladies to have babies.
173
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:48,326
Less trouble, more fun.
174
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:53,064
Arnold, do you
Believe that story?
175
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,034
Not for a second.
176
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,969
I do.
177
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,136
Thank you, vinnie.
178
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,039
You have save me hours
Of useless reading.
179
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,542
Mrs. Kotter, what is this?
180
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,577
The lamaze.
181
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,614
Is that some kind of new car?
182
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,950
No, juan, that's a method
Of natural childbirth.
183
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,285
You see, if we use this method,
184
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,113
I'll be awake during
The whole thing,
185
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,823
And mr. Kotter'll
Be there to help me.
186
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,792
And what's he gon' do?
187
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:25,130
Tell you jokes?
188
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,398
No, freddie, you
See, he'll just help.
189
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,501
The doctor'll be there.
190
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,770
He'd better... He's charging
$800 for the delivery.
191
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,572
Eight hundred dollars?
192
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:38,510
Hey, you should have the
Baby at my dry cleaners.
193
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,346
He has free deliveries.
194
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,449
Well, listen, I would really
Love to sit here all day
195
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,285
And swap prenatal
Experiences with you guys, but...
196
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,589
Well, I would like to
Oblige, mrs. Kotter.
197
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:55,259
But it's been so long
Since before I was born,
198
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:59,063
I've forgotten almost all of it.
199
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,533
Lemme put it to you this way:
200
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:05,203
- I'm a pregnant woman, right?
- right, right.
201
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:09,574
Okay... Now, pregnant
Women have cravings.
202
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,576
Right, right.
203
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:12,910
I have a craving.
204
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,312
Pickles?
205
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,813
Privacy.
206
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:19,751
Oh, mrs. Kotter, we
Only came here to help.
207
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:25,756
You see, I feel that the next
Few years of your pregnancy
208
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,059
Is gonna be very difficult.
209
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,762
I'll make a deal
With you, arnold:
210
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,790
If this pregnancy
Goes beyond two years,
211
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,499
I'll call for your help.
212
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:39,270
Mrs. Kotter, now, now, don't
Go gettin' all upset, all right?
213
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,239
You're gonna be a
Mother, right... Okay.
214
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:45,443
But don't worry,
You're gon' get better.
215
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:49,080
Will you stop treating pregnancy
Like it's some sort of disease?
216
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,884
Well, my mother thinks it is
217
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,163
She's been pregnant
Eight times...
218
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,287
That's right, you
Count 'em, eight times.
219
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,990
She's taken to
Wearing garlic now.
220
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:01,659
I think it's workin'.
221
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:05,397
Now my father, he
Sleeps up on the roof.
222
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,766
Will you guys just
Leave me alone?
223
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,279
Hey, I think she's
Gettin' delirious.
224
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,535
You got a fever?
225
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,005
I am not delirious,
And I don't have a fever.
226
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,474
Are you sure... Your face
Looks kinda red, you know?
227
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,976
Look... I would just
Like to be by myself.
228
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:23,013
I'm tired, I would like to
Take a nap and be alone.
229
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,694
Is it too much for
Me to ask to be alone
230
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,718
In my own apartment?
231
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:32,390
Take it easy!
232
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,893
Hey, mrs. Kotter, look,
If you wanna call me,
233
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,095
I'll be at debbie's, all right?
234
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,464
If I ain't at debbie's,
I'm at sharon's.
235
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,702
If I ain't at
Sharon's, I'm at home.
236
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,881
But if I'm home, don't call me,
237
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:48,239
'cause I'm depressed.
238
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,774
Get out!
239
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:54,712
♪
240
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,452
What are you talking about?
241
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,753
Come on, why should
Mrs. Kotter be mad at us?
242
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,723
Okay, all right... Lemme
Ask you something, vinnie.
243
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,225
Now, suppose your
Wife was gon' have a baby.
244
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,226
I ain't married.
245
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,661
Well, it doesn't matter.
246
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,830
Look, maybe it matters to her.
247
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,000
Come on... Come
On, just pretend.
248
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,203
Well, you don't know my wife.
249
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,673
It's an example, all right...
You ain't got no wife!
250
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,409
Well, wait till she
Hears about this.
251
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:25,988
It's an example, all right?
252
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,223
Okay, now suppose your
Wife was gonna have a baby,
253
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,391
- all right?
- yeah.
254
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,782
And four guys came
Over and got her so mad...
255
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,217
She turned red and threw
Them out the apartment.
256
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,387
Now, you tell me,
What would you do?
257
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,924
Who are those
Four guys, I'd kill 'em.
258
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,225
Ohh!
259
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,760
The four guys is us.
260
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,262
So now, what are we gonna do?
261
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,700
I'm gonna put my head
In epstein's locker.
262
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,703
Okay, but hold your
Breath, it's murder in there.
263
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,971
Knock it off, all right?
264
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,451
Now we gotta do somethin'
To make it up to her.
265
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,874
Now, let's think about this.
266
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,777
What would a young
Expectant mother want?
267
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:04,282
A husband.
268
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,216
Mr. Kotter is the husband.
269
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,720
Oh, well... We'll get
Her a better one.
270
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,422
What else would she want?
271
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:15,192
Uh... More closet space?
272
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:19,063
- a party.
- right!
273
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,332
I was gonna say that, I
Was gonna say "Party,"
274
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,767
I was gonna say "Closet space."
275
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:28,105
Hey, you know, little
Juan's got a great idea.
276
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:31,709
We'll have a surprise
Party, oh, it'll be wonderful!
277
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,345
We could hang streamers
From the rafters.
278
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:37,414
Oh, mrs. Kotter and
The baby will love it.
279
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,361
Yeah, but the
Baby ain't here yet.
280
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,786
So we keep the party
Goin' till the kid shows up.
281
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:51,496
Thanks to you, mr. Overly
Won't be with us today.
282
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:56,801
He called, something
About entering a monastery.
283
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,514
Try to take it easier
On today's victim,
284
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:02,740
He's got a family.
285
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:04,220
I'd introduce you,
But I don't know
286
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,909
How long you'll be here.
287
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,028
Look, guys, I don't
Want any trouble.
288
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,786
I'm a married man, and I'm
Just trying to earn a f-f-f...
289
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,589
Few extra bucks.
290
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,159
I got two kids.
291
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,406
Two kids, huh?
292
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:38,910
They're gonna miss ya.
293
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:43,848
♪
294
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,063
You know, it was nice
Of that superintendent
295
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,619
To give us these keys.
296
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:49,728
Yeah, you know what?
297
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,723
We gotta do
Somethin' nice for him,
298
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,602
Like remember to let
Him out of the boiler room
299
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,460
When we leave.
300
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,639
Now, come on, let's get busy.
301
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,375
No tellin' when
She's gonna be back.
302
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,676
Hey, guys, this is
Gonna be terrific.
303
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,633
Yeah, yeah!
304
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:03,901
Listen, let's get goin'.
305
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,347
- horshack, do the dishes.
- okay.
306
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,083
- epstein, vacuum.
- got you, vinnie, got you.
307
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,472
All right... You dust.
308
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,243
- okay, but I don't do windows.
- all right.
309
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,244
Hey, what are you
Gonna do, vinnie?
310
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:17,281
I'm doin' the refrigerator.
311
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,251
Bein' in charge gets
Me hungry, you know?
312
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,618
Hey, look at this.
313
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,288
Mrs. Kotter's got real taste
Since she's been pregnant.
314
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,868
She got liverwurst,
She got root beer...
315
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,859
Hey, vinnie, vinnie bubby...
316
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,438
You could help us
Out by makin' the bed.
317
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,740
There's some clean
Sheets, it looks like,
318
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,908
- right over there, okay?
- yeah, it's a good idea.
319
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,332
I can't wait to yell "Surprise."
320
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,187
Hey!
321
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:59,001
What's the matter,
You crazy or somethin'?
322
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,535
You might have a lot more luck
323
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:04,328
If you shut your mouth
Off and turn this on.
324
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,175
Come on, I was just
Practicing, that's all.
325
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,898
I was just practicing.
326
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,434
Oh, what a shame.
327
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:14,105
At such an early age, to
Suffer from dishpan hands.
328
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:21,511
Hey, hey, I can
Really see myself!
329
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:27,517
There's me, and mrs.
Olsen, and mr. Whipple...
330
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:39,363
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
331
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:54,178
Turn it off, turn it off!
332
00:16:56,482 --> 00:17:01,486
I'm trying, I'm trying!
333
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:10,761
Oh boy.
334
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,363
If that's the way things work,
335
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,833
No wonder a woman's
Work is never done.
336
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:19,804
Argh!
337
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:24,475
We're being attacked
By lawrence welk!
338
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,011
Turn it off, dude, turn it off!
339
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:31,949
Turn it off, turn
It off, arnold!
340
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:38,022
You know, we're doing the
Work of three guys here:
341
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,458
Moe, larry, and curly.
342
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:43,894
It does look kind
Of messy, don't it?
343
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:49,400
You think she'll notice?
344
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,701
Surprise!
345
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,609
I don't believe it.
346
00:17:58,678 --> 00:17:59,944
I go out for ten minutes,
347
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,514
And I come back
To a disaster movie.
348
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,218
What are you guys doing here?
349
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:10,221
We're cleanin' up...
What's it look like?
350
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:12,656
Yeah, you see...
351
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:16,326
And then, and then, and
Then, we was gonna throw you
352
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:21,766
And kotter junior
A surprise party.
353
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,712
By the time you get done
Cleaning this mess up,
354
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:27,838
It's gonna be a
Graduation party.
355
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:32,210
Have to admit, you
Were very thorough.
356
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,145
Look, mrs. Kotter, we really
Wanted to make it up to you
357
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,159
For making you so upset
About what we did to you
358
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:40,984
- the other day.
- yeah.
359
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,755
Well, you made me
Forget about that, okay.
360
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:49,493
Well, would it help if we
Said that we were sorry?
361
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,696
I guess not.
362
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,764
I guess it... I guess it
Would probably help
363
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:57,968
If we, uh, just took
Off and split, huh?
364
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:01,138
But we are sorry.
365
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:03,708
I feel like a crumb.
366
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,248
Hello?
367
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,751
Oh, hi, gabe!
368
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:19,022
I feel like a dead crumb.
369
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:20,891
Lonely?
370
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:26,964
How could I be lonely, I'm
Surrounded by sweathogs.
371
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:29,967
What are they doing here?
372
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,614
Mrs. Kotter, you let me explain.
373
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:32,903
Oh, okay, good.
374
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,183
A woman in your condition
Shouldn't have to explain.
375
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,552
- a'ight?
- you explain.
376
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,409
- I'll take care of it.
- okay.
377
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:42,179
Hi there.
378
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,248
Yeah, yeah, mr. Kotter,
Yeah, it's freddie.
379
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,516
How you doin'?
380
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,486
Yeah... Nah, no, you
See, we were, we were...
381
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,198
We was just givin'
Mrs. Kotter some tips
382
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,756
On housecleanin', right.
383
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:52,901
Can I talk to him, please?
384
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:53,857
And arnold wants to
Say something, okay.
385
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,258
Then I wanna talk to him.
386
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:59,763
Hello, big buckaroo,
Can you hear me?
387
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:04,268
Yeah, oh, you'd be
Very proud of all of us.
388
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:09,640
Yes... Oh, one of your little
Friends wants to say hello.
389
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,509
Hello there, juan epstein here.
390
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,023
And we wanted to let
You know we got the place
391
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:18,782
Really ship-shape, yes, sir.
392
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:22,152
Hi, honey.
393
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:26,690
Oh no... He's telling the truth.
394
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:31,829
You wouldn't believe
What they've done here.
395
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:37,534
I could never
Have done it myself.
396
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,770
I miss you too, honey.
397
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,840
Yeah... We miss you, honey.
398
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,908
Bye.
399
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,143
Uh... Okay, honey.
400
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:48,979
Yeah, you hurry home.
401
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:52,382
I love you, bye-bye.
402
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:54,818
Thank you for not
Spillin' the beans.
403
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,765
It's about the only thing
That hasn't been spilled
404
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,590
In this apartment.
405
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:03,894
Look, it took a lot
Of good intentions
406
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:08,598
To ruin an apartment this well.
407
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,367
Where's my party?
408
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:14,437
Oh yeah, yeah.
409
00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:20,210
See... This is for you.
410
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,159
And this is for the little baby.
411
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:33,657
Well, I think I'll just
Send it right down to him.
412
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:38,595
♪
413
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,067
Okay.
414
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:48,439
I've got another
One out in the hall.
415
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:50,474
We're gonna try it again today.
416
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:54,277
Well, we're game
If you are, huh?
417
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:08,203
Hey, we had a pretty good week.
418
00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:10,560
That makes three for three.
419
00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:40,991
♪
420
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,412
Mr. Woodman, what
Are you doing here?
421
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,581
Uh, julie, I, uh, knew your
Husband was outta town,
422
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:54,905
So I thought...
423
00:22:54,974 --> 00:23:00,544
Well, I like what
You've done with it.
424
00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:05,249
Sweathogs left three
Days ago, I'm still cleaning up.
425
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:06,550
Uh, you were saying?
426
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,797
Yeah, well, I know kotter
Likes to tell you jokes,
427
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,365
So I figured I'd
Drop by and tell you
428
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,589
The only joke I know...
I mean, I only know one.
429
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:13,924
How thoughtful of you.
430
00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,938
Yeah, well, anyway, it seems
That there was this woman.
431
00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:17,339
Why don't you
Make it a relative?
432
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:20,397
You see, gabe always
Makes it one of his relatives.
433
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,500
Well, I don't have
Any relatives.
434
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:24,935
Why don't you pretend?
435
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,336
Make it your aunt sophie.
436
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,949
All right, aunt sophie...
Anyway, one day,
437
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,984
Aunt sophie's walkin' down
The street with a child, right?
438
00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:31,253
And a man comes up
To her and he says,
439
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:34,811
"Lady, that is the ugliest
Baby I have ever seen
440
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,080
In my life."
441
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,292
Well, aunt sophie
Gets very upset.
442
00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:38,860
She runs to a policeman,
Right, she tells him,
443
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:40,495
"A man just made an
Insulting remark to me."
444
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:41,863
Policeman says,
"Lady, calm down.
445
00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:45,289
We'll go down to the
Stationhouse, fill in a report,
446
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,491
Make you a nice cup of coffee,
447
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:52,129
Might even find a
Banana for your monkey."
448
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:54,531
You get it... The
Banana, the monkey?
449
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,801
I mean, this kid was
Really ugly, you get it?
450
00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,871
The banana, the monkey,
See... This kid was ugly,
451
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:01,939
You understand?
452
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:05,576
♪
453
00:24:06,412 --> 00:24:11,282
♪
454
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:16,687
♪ welcome back ♪
455
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:20,324
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
456
00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:22,726
♪ welcome back ♪
457
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:27,464
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
458
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:29,666
♪ well the names
Have all changed
459
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:31,835
Since you hung around ♪
460
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:33,971
♪ but those dreams have remained
461
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,106
And they've turned around ♪
462
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:38,374
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
463
00:24:38,443 --> 00:24:40,354
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
464
00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:42,378
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
465
00:24:42,447 --> 00:24:44,648
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
466
00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:46,583
♪ yeah we tease him a lot
467
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,819
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
468
00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:50,954
♪ welcome back ♪
469
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:55,325
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
470
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:57,494
♪ welcome back, welcome back ♪
471
00:24:57,563 --> 00:25:00,330
♪ welcome back ♪
472
00:25:00,399 --> 00:25:03,901
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪
473
00:25:03,969 --> 00:25:06,503
♪ welcome back ♪♪
34591
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