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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,514
Julie, did I ever tell you about
My uncle, who was a skin diver?
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,937
No.
3
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,584
Go ahead, tell me about him.
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,043
His name was mike nelson kotter.
5
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,689
One day he buys all this
New equipment and decides
6
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:13,912
To try it out, right?
7
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,580
So he goes down
20 feet into the ocean,
8
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,682
Sees this guy come down
20 feet with no equipment.
9
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,518
So, my uncle goes down 40 feet.
10
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:20,793
He says, "I'll show this guy ."
11
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,787
Guy comes down
40 feet, no equipment.
12
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:23,922
My uncle can't believe it.
13
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,103
He takes his little slate out,
He says, "What are you doing
14
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:29,228
Down 40 feet with no equipment?"
15
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,695
Guy grabs the
Slate, writes back,
16
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,065
“you jerk, I'm drowning .”
17
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,539
♪♪
18
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:48,047
♪ welcome back ♪
19
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,850
♪ your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
20
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:58,890
♪ welcome back to that same
Old place that you laughed about ♪
21
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:03,128
♪ where the names have all
Changed since you hung around ♪
22
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:07,766
♪ but those dreams have
Remained and they've turned around ♪
23
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:11,703
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
24
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,239
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
25
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,976
♪ yeah we tease him a lot ♪
26
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,011
♪ 'cause we've got
Him on the spot ♪
27
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,281
♪ welcome back ♪
28
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,282
♪ welcome back ♪
29
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,151
♪ welcome back welcome back ♪♪
30
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,652
All right, all right, all right.
31
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,744
Now, did everybody do what they
Were supposed to do last night?
32
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,812
Yeah, mr. Kotter,
33
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,847
I did what I was supposed to do.
34
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,450
But then it was too late to
Do homework after she left.
35
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,399
That's a bad vinnie barbarino.
36
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,257
You're bad, bad.
37
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,592
You're bad.
38
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,660
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
39
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,109
Yes yes, arnold.
40
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,634
I did my homework, mr. Kotter.
41
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,503
Well, that's a good boy.
42
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,838
Isn't he a good arnold horshack?
43
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,375
But that vincent
Barbarino, he's bad!
44
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,376
You're bad!
45
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,912
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
46
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,058
Hey, hey, hey.
47
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,682
Cool it, mr. Kotter.
48
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,318
Don't you tell
Mr. Kotter, “cool it .”
49
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,553
You know what you are?
50
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,754
You're bad.
51
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:38,001
Just 'cause my jokes aren't
Funny and they don't make people
52
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,026
Laugh, you're bad.
53
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,727
You're bad, bad.
54
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,380
What about me, juan?
55
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,504
You're such a good boy.
56
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,606
Isn't he a good boy?
57
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,520
All right, sit down, epstein.
58
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,355
Hey, hey, hey,
Where are you going?
59
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,279
I gotta go out and shave first.
60
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,846
I'll shave you.
61
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:02,981
Hey.
62
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,261
Here, take this
Home, put it in water,
63
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,585
And in three weeks
You'll have a full beard.
64
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,731
Sit down.
65
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,899
Okay.
66
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:13,225
I have an announcement
Regarding extracurricular activities.
67
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:14,504
The answer's forget it.
68
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,738
We ain't interested.
69
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,563
I didn't say what it was yet.
70
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,809
Give the man a chance.
71
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,833
What is it, mr. Kotter?
72
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,269
It's about the school
Drama festival.
73
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,270
Forget it.
74
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,739
We ain't interested.
75
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:31,376
Well, now, wait a minute.
76
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:34,313
Some of us would
Like to hear more.
77
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,547
Thank you, arnold.
78
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,684
What we would have to do
Would be a scene from play,
79
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,885
And I will volunteer to direct.
80
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,799
Acting is so dumb, you know it?
81
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,668
Going around pretending
You're somebody else.
82
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,825
Ridiculous.
83
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,694
Vinnie.
84
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,940
Vinnie, when I walked in
Here, epstein was acting.
85
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,964
He was pretending to be me.
86
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,233
So what?
87
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,869
Epstein does a
Lot of weird things.
88
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,070
Yes, that's true.
89
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,906
I have just been informed
That epstein put jell-o in
90
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,976
The birdbath yesterday to
Watch the birds bounce around.
91
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,993
We'll talk about
That later, epstein.
92
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,719
Okay, right now, who wants
To take a crack at acting?
93
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,488
Oh, you wanna see acting?
94
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:20,125
Arnold horshack
Will show you acting.
95
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,427
Yeah.
96
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:32,732
Oh... Never have I
Seen such golden locks.
97
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:40,779
Indeed, it is the sun itself.
98
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,126
That's very good, arnold.
99
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,894
Golden locks, was
That from shakespeare?
100
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,654
No, it's from
“charlie's angels.”
101
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,922
I can do better than that.
102
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,257
Hey, mr. Kotter,
103
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,970
You remember that scene
Between katharine hepburn
104
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,994
And sidney poitiers in
“guess who's out to lunch”?
105
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,831
That's, uh... That's
Sidney poitier.
106
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,199
Right, poitiers.
107
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:05,270
Okay, remember when
Miss hepburn said to sidney,
108
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,773
"So, you're planning
To marry my daughter?
109
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,042
That is a coincidence,
For I am planning to marry
110
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:14,012
Harry belafonte.”
111
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:18,683
Acting is simple.
112
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,684
Watch this.
113
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,654
I'll do something for you.
114
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,135
Stella!
115
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,138
Stella!
116
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,841
Who am I?
117
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:46,545
Some weird guy named “stella .”
118
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,817
Wait, I'll do it one more
Time for you, then you guess.
119
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,855
Stella!
120
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,591
Stella!
121
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:05,464
I could've been a contender.
122
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:16,641
You just confused
Two of my movies.
123
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:20,579
You show me no
Respect when you do that.
124
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:28,614
Do that again, I call
Clemenza, barzini, provolone,
125
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:37,228
Spumoni and
Linguini in clam sauce.
126
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:38,263
Who are you doing?
127
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,103
Marlon brando.
128
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,039
I was doing john wayne.
129
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:55,013
Well, I do not know about
The others, mr. Kotter,
130
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:59,751
But I am very seriously
Interested in our school play.
131
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,352
Hey, stop it, stop it.
132
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,454
Stop it.
133
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,934
I'm proud of you, arnold.
134
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,859
You know you'd be terrific
In “cyrano de bergerac.”
135
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,629
Oh, yeah, wasn't he the
Guy with the mile-long nose?
136
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,630
Arnold, wait a minute.
137
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,842
Don't worry.
138
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:18,169
You know, if you get the part,
Maybe we can shorten yours.
139
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,984
Cyrano was much
More than a big nose.
140
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,652
In fact, he was one of
The greatest romantics
141
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,308
In all of literature.
142
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,045
He used to hide behind the
Bushes just to talk to girls.
143
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,182
I got an uncle serving
Five to ten for doing that.
144
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,653
Come on, come on, mr. Kotter,
145
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,888
Tell us more about
This cyrano person.
146
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:41,125
Well, arnold, cyrano was in love
With a beautiful named "Roxane."
147
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,896
But, alas, she was in
Love with someone else.
148
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:48,399
Oh, well, that's it, mr. Kotter.
149
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:51,269
It's the arnold horshack story.
150
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,515
Right.
151
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:57,008
From this moment on, cyrano
De bergerac shall be known as
152
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,643
“cyrano de horshack”"
153
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,716
♪♪
154
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,921
Mr. Woodman, I don't
Wanna be on the same stage
155
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,422
As a sweathog.
156
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,125
I don't even wanna be on the
Same planet as a sweat hog.
157
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:20,031
Well, do what I do-when
I'm in that classroom, I think of
158
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:26,905
Myself as a missionary
Among savages in new guinea.
159
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,575
You can almost hear the drums.
160
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:35,981
Water boiling in a giant
Pot, and they grab me,
161
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,217
And they drag me
Over to their chief.
162
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,553
He has curly hair
And a big mustache.
163
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:44,266
He's about to tell me a joke.
164
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,725
“no,” I begged him,
“please, throw me into the pot!
165
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,770
Throw me into the pot”"
166
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:51,395
Mr. Woodman, get
A hold of yourself.
167
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,164
It's okay, it's okay.
168
00:08:55,235 --> 00:09:00,538
I was away for a
While, but I'm back.
169
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,508
I'm sorry, judy, but principal
Lazarus insists that we balance
170
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,678
The underachievers
With an overachiever.
171
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,447
Kotter, here's my roxane.
172
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,448
Oh, hi, judy.
173
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,017
Hi, mr. Kotter.
174
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,018
Where's your cyrano?
175
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,998
Mr. Woodman, I have
Found a young man
176
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:18,857
With a sensitivity of a
Poet, the grace of a dancer,
177
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,291
And the voice of a...
178
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:25,596
I shall clap my hands
Three times, o' full moon.
179
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,934
The voice of a wounded goat.
180
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,289
Three times, o' full moon.
181
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,715
At the third, you will be...
182
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:46,763
Putting a sword in the
Hands of a sweathog?
183
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,219
You're mad, kotter, mad!
184
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,221
Principal lazarus, he's
Arming the sweathogs.
185
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,623
Call out the national guard!
186
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:55,860
Don't worry about mr. Woodman.
187
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,629
His mother was
Frightened by a shish kabob.
188
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:03,634
Okay, judy, arnold will
Be playing opposite you.
189
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,469
I'd rather be stuck
In a shopping cart
190
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,872
And run through a car wash.
191
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:15,080
You know, judy, evel
Knievel just called.
192
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,617
He wants to know if
He can jump your mouth.
193
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,155
All right, all right.
194
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,523
Cut it out, you two.
195
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,170
You both read the play, right?
196
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,694
Okay, let's take it from,
“au du faire, roxane.”
197
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,596
Do it, arnold.
198
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,725
Au du faire, roxane.
199
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,669
Uh...
200
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,580
Yuck!
201
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:52,117
His nose is cold.
202
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,819
It just means he's healthy.
203
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,432
Come on, pick it up, arnold.
204
00:10:56,456 --> 00:11:03,661
Okay, uh, I am only a shadow,
And you are a gleam of light.
205
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:09,567
You have no idea what
These moments mean to me.
206
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:14,072
And, tonight, when I
Enter into the house of god,
207
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,307
I shall have one thing...
208
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,077
Hey, arnold, who are
You supposed to be,
209
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,113
Florence of arabia?
210
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:27,852
And, tonight, when I
Enter into the house of god,
211
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,854
I shall have one
Thing... Vinnie.
212
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,634
Hey, vinnie, I think
He's wearing his
213
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,558
Grandmother's old pantaloons.
214
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:40,999
I shall have one thing
Unstained above all others,
215
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,268
And that is...
216
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:47,305
My white plume.
217
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,717
Hey, hey, come on, come on.
218
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:49,808
Cut it out, huh?
219
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,210
I like the way he looks.
220
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:56,915
Hey, arnold, would you like to
Go to the junior prom with me?
221
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,929
All right, cut it out, you guys.
222
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,697
Listen, I'm supposed to
Be the greatest swordsman
223
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,921
In all france.
224
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:08,226
And I'm supposed to be the
Fairest flower in all of france.
225
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,460
Oh, yeah?
226
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,797
Well, you look like
Ragweed to me, honey.
227
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,136
Mr. Kotter, I am
A serious actress.
228
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,649
I do not have to stand for this.
229
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:25,210
I'm gonna go to my dressing
Room and have a tantrum!
230
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,814
Hey, who does she think she is?
231
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,249
Tantrum o'neal?
232
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:36,020
Why did you guys come in
Here to disrupt our rehearsal?
233
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,066
We sweathogs.
234
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,158
It's our job.
235
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,427
Well, I, for one, do not
Welcome your presence.
236
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:46,497
I was just getting into my part.
237
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:49,700
I don't think they
Understand, mr. Kotter.
238
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,480
Hey, what's there to understand?
239
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,015
You look like you should
Be right in the middle of
240
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,973
A rothschild.
241
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,912
That's it, mr. Kotter.
242
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:01,958
Wait, wait.
243
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,262
I got one more.
244
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,918
No, vinnie, no more!
245
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,165
Hey, look, I'm trying to
Do something for all of us,
246
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:13,758
And this is the thanks I get?
247
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,559
I'm sorry, mr. Kotter.
248
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,362
You can't take a joke?
249
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,757
Hey, pinocchio, come back.
250
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,633
Where are you going, pinocchio?
251
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,303
All right, all right, all right!
252
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,139
You guys happy now?
253
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,473
We didn't do nothing.
254
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:31,876
We didn't do nothing now.
255
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:35,246
You know how sensitive
Actors are, just can't take a little
256
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,981
Destructive
Criticism, that's all.
257
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,728
Look, mr. Kotter, we're sorry.
258
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,786
We're gonna find him.
259
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,702
Hey, we looked
Everywhere, mr. Kotter.
260
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:01,439
Didn't see arnold
No place all day.
261
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,309
Yeah, we called his house
Ten times, no one answered.
262
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,310
How could you call his house?
263
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,488
He doesn't have a phone.
264
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,081
Oh, no wonder
There was no answer.
265
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,316
Why don't you go over there?
266
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,095
We did... We went over
There, but nobody was home.
267
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:17,655
So, we went in through the
Window and watched a little tv.
268
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:21,359
I took a bath, and
Vinnie made a sandwich.
269
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,671
I don't believe you guys.
270
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,896
That's where he
Lives, not a holiday inn.
271
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,366
Your best friend is missing
And what do you do?
272
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,546
You go where he lives,
And you raid his refrigerator.
273
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,048
Come on, I didn't
Raid his refrigerator.
274
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,871
Vinnie raided the refrigerator.
275
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:38,109
I took a bath-personal
Hygiene, you know?
276
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:41,212
Hey, mr. Kotter-hey,
Look, we all real sorry
277
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,458
On the way we came
Down on arnold.
278
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,914
I mean we really are.
279
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:46,717
We had no idea how important
This play really was to him.
280
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,664
Look, guys, it was important to
Him because he thought he was
281
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,489
Doing something
For the sweathogs.
282
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,158
Now you made me feel bad.
283
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,194
Yeah, me, too.
284
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,730
I feel real bad, but
At least I'm clean.
285
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,533
I guess that's it.
286
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,169
I guess we better just go tell
Woodman that we're out of it.
287
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:10,641
Unless... Unless we can
Get somebody to substitute
288
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,676
For horshack. All right.
289
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,878
Somebody suave.
290
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:14,879
Yeah.
291
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:15,880
Somebody romantic.
292
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,881
Oh, yeah.
293
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,051
Somebody italian.
294
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:26,790
Somebody who
Has a flair for words.
295
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,106
What?
296
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,007
You, on stage in two
Hours for horshack.
297
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,296
Now, wait a second.
298
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,597
Now, wait a second now.
299
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,800
My client here, he can't
Work without a contract.
300
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:37,801
So, you're his agent?
301
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,802
That's right, I represent him.
302
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,105
Why don't you just step
Into my office over here.
303
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,907
We gotta negotiate.
304
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,686
Now, what I'm talking about
Here, I'm talking about a house
305
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:45,921
In beverly hills.
306
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,047
I'm talking about a pool, I'm
Talking about a limo service,
307
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,522
I'm talking about a
Maid named esther.
308
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,922
Epstein, let's not haggle.
309
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,591
Here's the deal-you go
Out and try to find horshack,
310
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,028
Or I stuff you in
Your gym locker.
311
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,466
Hey, that sounds fair to me.
312
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,000
That's a good deal.
313
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,680
Okay, we don't have much time.
314
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:15,273
Here you go, vinnie,
Page 46, right over here.
315
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,641
Freddie, you can play roxane.
316
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,477
Me?
317
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,822
Hey, wait a minute, mr. Kotter.
318
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:24,449
Now, I know I'm a lot of
Things, but the fairest flower
319
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,518
Of all france I ain't.
320
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,665
Come on, freddie,
We gotta get to it.
321
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,832
Here you go. Come on, man.
322
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:31,822
Now, you go up here.
323
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:32,868
You're on your balcony.
324
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,303
This is where cyrano
Goes to roxane's balcony.
325
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,293
Go ahead.
326
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,161
Take it away, cyrano.
327
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,797
Stella!
328
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,567
Stella!
329
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:45,669
Vinnie, this is
Roxane, not stella.
330
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,171
Hey, look, mr. Kotter,
331
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,873
I ain't roxane, and I
Ain't stella, all right?
332
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,087
I'm freddie,
Freddie, you got it?
333
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,076
Freddie.
334
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,178
Okay, okay, I got it.
335
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,981
Freddie!
336
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,026
Freddie!
337
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,750
Alright look,
This is ridiculous.
338
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:00,929
Okay, now, you're cyrano.
339
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,393
You want to get roxane to
Let you come up on the balcony
340
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,467
So you can kiss her, all right?
341
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,856
That's your motivation.
342
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,728
That's it.
343
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,941
I ain't no roxane,
And I ain't no stella.
344
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,632
Blah!
345
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,712
All right, let's
Forget about him.
346
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:17,701
I'll play roxane.
347
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:18,947
You try and come on my balcony.
348
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,505
No way.
349
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,678
I'm dying egypt, dying.
350
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:32,650
Only I hear importune death
A while, until many thousand
351
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:36,587
Kisses, I lay upon thy lips.
352
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,101
That was maxine biffin.
353
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:54,038
And the death scene
From shakespeare's
354
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,073
"Antony and cleopatra.”
355
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,242
Maxine, of course,
Was playing antony.
356
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,245
Thank you, maxine.
357
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,615
Uh, maxine, you can get up.
358
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,171
Mr. Woodman, I'm dead, remember?
359
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:12,557
Mr. Kotter, mr. Kotter,
It's curtain time.
360
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,124
Where's vinnie?
361
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,795
Don't worry, judy.
362
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,397
I'm worried, freddie...
Where's vinnie?
363
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,909
Yeah, yeah, I
Know you're worried.
364
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,144
But, see, we looked for
Vinnie, and we couldn't find him
365
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:23,133
No place.
366
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,680
Everybody just
Take it easy, okay?
367
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,004
Epstein, he
Guarantees his clients.
368
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,173
All right, you guarantee
Your clients, epstein-well,
369
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,608
It's about time
For him to go on.
370
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,176
Now where is he?
371
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,732
Anybody open their
Mouth, and I'll run through it.
372
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:46,090
Look who's here,
Lawrence of arabia.
373
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,127
Hey, roxane, eat my plumes.
374
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,842
Hey, you look fantastic.
375
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:54,976
Great.
376
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,501
Yeah, you're about the
Tenth person who told me that.
377
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,502
Tenth?
378
00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,538
Yeah.
379
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,473
The others were a bunch of
Marines on ocean parkway.
380
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,809
Yeah, but, did you find arnold?
381
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,146
No, but I ran into
Dolores delvecchio.
382
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,749
I think it's over between us.
383
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,017
Okay, vinnie, look.
384
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:17,855
All right, now, you know
What you have to do.
385
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,858
No, I already did that
Before I put on my tights.
386
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,333
Now our final contestants
Are judy borden
387
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,846
And vincent
Barbarino in the scene
388
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,170
From cyrano de bergerac.
389
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:37,275
We'd appreciate it if you'd
Throw the lettuce first...
390
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,311
Then the eggs and tomatoes,
But please save the dressing for
391
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,314
Last 'cause it makes
A better salad.
392
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,724
I've got the anchovies.
393
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,897
Is it you, cyrano?
394
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,433
Yeah, it's me.
395
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:06,003
We couldn't find
Arnold, remember?
396
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,206
Vinnie.
397
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,375
Oh, yeah, yeah.
398
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,312
We were speaking
Of a kiss, cyrano.
399
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,347
When?
400
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,749
Vinnie, vinnie.
401
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,284
Vinnie, kiss.
402
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,886
The word is sweet.
403
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:23,922
Kiss.
404
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,756
The word is sweet.
405
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,492
I do not see why
You should not try it.
406
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:29,493
Eeesh.
407
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,528
You don't believe me?
408
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,695
Ask debbie.
409
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:35,232
Hey, debbie, my kisses
Are delicious, right?
410
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,570
Hey, sharon, I didn't know
You was coming today.
411
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,005
Vinnie... The play,
Get to the play.
412
00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:42,673
Vinnie.
413
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,086
I gotta get to this play.
414
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,390
I'll see you later.
415
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,379
Makin me crazy.
416
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,183
Now, where were we?
417
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,096
You are making this
The most humiliating,
418
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:58,189
Embarrassing experience
Of my entire life.
419
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,190
Good.
420
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,425
Let's keep going.
421
00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:06,575
Be serious, vinnie.
422
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,465
All right, all right.
423
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:12,603
A kiss-when all
Is said, what is it?
424
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:17,274
A wish, which longs
To be confirmed.
425
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:24,514
A moment of infinity,
Humming like a bee.
426
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,051
Vinnie!
427
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,687
Look at me, look at me!
428
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:34,491
A communion,
Tasting the flowers.
429
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:36,660
Whatever that means.
430
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:47,404
And a way of breathing
In a little of your heart...
431
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,939
Vinnie!
432
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,083
I'm acting... Leave me alone.
433
00:21:57,049 --> 00:22:01,518
And tasting a little of your
Soul with the edge of my lips.
434
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,621
Stella!
435
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:10,027
♪♪
436
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:15,132
Vinnie, you were great.
437
00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:22,440
Vinnie, you were fantastic.
438
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,852
Yeah, you were swell.
439
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:24,953
You were wonderful, sweetheart.
440
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:26,655
Just sign right over here.
441
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,745
Look, I got you a booking.
442
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:31,949
It's gonna be on the
“gong show,” okay?
443
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:34,229
My people will call your people.
444
00:22:34,253 --> 00:22:35,564
We'll have lunch, sweetheart.
445
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:36,932
Wait a minute, I
Wanna talk to you.
446
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:38,589
Vinnie, vinnie, come on.
447
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:40,224
Go back on stage.
448
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:41,770
Oh, come on, I
Gotta do it again?
449
00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:42,759
No, take a bow.
450
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:43,760
Go ahead.
451
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,396
Oh, all right.
452
00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:59,176
My number-555-3281.
453
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:01,056
Dan, get the number from susan.
454
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,714
Susan, dan's gonna
Call you, all right?
455
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:06,950
Charlene, meet me in my
Dressing room after this.
456
00:23:08,321 --> 00:23:10,588
Mr. Kotter, I will never
Be able to show my
457
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,923
Face in that school again.
458
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:15,792
Judy, could you
Put that in writing?
459
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:18,429
Oh, shut up, boom boom!
460
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:19,696
Vinnie, vinnie?
461
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,669
Vinnie, vinnie?
462
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,376
Hey, I'm proud of you.
463
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,555
I'm proud of what all
You guys did for arnold.
464
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:34,545
Yeah, me, too.
465
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,546
Wait a minute.
466
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:36,547
Hey, man, that's right.
467
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:39,650
Arnold-we still ain't found him.
468
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,062
Yeah, I kinda feel
Bad, you know?
469
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,052
Like a crumb.
470
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:44,522
This should've been
Arnold's moment.
471
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,157
Where could he be?
472
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:47,869
I don't know, but I think
It's something more serious
473
00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:50,327
Than the play.
474
00:23:50,363 --> 00:23:52,563
But what?
475
00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:58,169
♪♪
476
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,784
♪ welcome back ♪
477
00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:17,655
♪ your dreams
Were your ticket out ♪
478
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,823
♪ welcome back ♪
479
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:24,628
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
480
00:24:24,664 --> 00:24:28,765
♪ where the names have all
Changed since you hung around ♪
481
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:33,270
♪ but those dreams have
Remained and they've turned around ♪
482
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:37,040
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead you ♪
483
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:41,645
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
484
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,614
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot ♪
485
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:45,616
'cause we've got
Him on the spot ♪
486
00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,918
♪ welcome back ♪
487
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:49,186
♪ welcome back ♪
488
00:24:49,222 --> 00:24:54,825
♪ welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back ♪
489
00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:57,461
♪ welcome back ♪
490
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,497
♪ we always could
Spot a friend ♪♪
34577
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