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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,942 I can't believe how Crowded that store was. 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,277 I think everybody left Their shopping till tonight. 3 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,679 I don't believe it, those Women, they're crazy. 4 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,848 - I know. - pushing, shoving. 5 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,984 Bumping into me. 6 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:21,019 I'm going back tomorrow. 7 00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:33,164 ♪ 8 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,503 ♪ welcome back ♪ 9 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,239 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 10 00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:43,408 ♪ welcome back ♪ 11 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:48,046 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 12 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,382 ♪ well the names Have all changed 13 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,517 Since you hung around ♪ 14 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,686 ♪ but those dreams have remained 15 00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,955 And they've turned around ♪ 16 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,023 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 17 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,903 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 18 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,028 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 19 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:05,263 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 20 00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,232 ♪ yeah, we tease him a lot 21 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,501 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 22 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,803 ♪ welcome back ♪ 23 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:17,176 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 24 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:27,019 ♪ 25 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:34,893 ♪ 26 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:38,129 Kotter, I'd like you To meet ms. Wright. 27 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,431 Ms. Wright! 28 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,235 Well, my mother always Said I'd meet you some day. 29 00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,369 Thank you. 30 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,982 This ms. Wright Has nothing to do 31 00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:49,240 With your sick Fantasies, kotter. 32 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,843 Leave my sick fantasies Out of this, mr. Woodman, 33 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,847 At least until you get me That ostrich I requested. 34 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,784 Ms. Wright is a phi beta kappa Graduate of jones college 35 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,086 Specially trained In remedial methods. 36 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,521 Principal lazarus wants her To have on-the-job training 37 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,430 Until she gets her own class. 38 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,069 Oh, like, uh, student teach. 39 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,971 Well, in my school, We're referred to 40 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,330 As educational Guidance associates. 41 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:14,732 In this school, you'll be Referred to as hamburger helper. 42 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:22,841 Uh, make yourself At home, look around. 43 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,487 Now, watch her Carefully, kotter. 44 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,671 Remember what happened To the last student teacher. 45 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,780 What happened to her? 46 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,615 Oh, she's doing fine. 47 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:36,888 She, uh, sent me a ceramic Wallet from the home. 48 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,093 So, you majored in ghetto, huh? 49 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,330 Yes, and this is Wonderful, it's so remedial. 50 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,876 It's just like our mock-up room 51 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,800 In educational Development and guidance. 52 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,103 Right, right, slum Training 101, I took it twice. 53 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,316 Let me show you around. 54 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,251 You know, this is a Very famous classroom. 55 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,976 In fact, in this chair right Here once sat bonzo... 56 00:02:58,044 --> 00:02:59,344 Moretti. 57 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,079 Yes, I've heard of him. 58 00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,559 - you have? - mm-hm. 59 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,894 There's a whole chapter about Him in one of our textbooks. 60 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,452 It's called, "There Are no bad boys, 61 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:11,222 So please don't shoot." 62 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,558 You know, bonzo wasn't The toughest kid in my class. 63 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,094 Toughest kid was Benito bloomberg. 64 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:20,799 Benito was voted most Likely to invade poland. 65 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,801 Sat right over there, Right in between 66 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,371 Ramon "I can eat more Hamburgers than you" benson 67 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,206 And phyllis "I'm Saving everything 68 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:31,710 For my second Marriage" feinstein. 69 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,778 It's a very famous Classroom here, ms. Wright. 70 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,524 Some of the best Teachers in this city 71 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,482 Have passed through These windows. 72 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,219 Oh, I love it. 73 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,220 Student's never change, do they? 74 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:46,758 "Arnold is easy." 75 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,961 "Call vinnie, he delivers." 76 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:56,434 "Juan epstein..." does what? 77 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,303 To whom? 78 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,672 Uh, ms. Wright, don't Pay any attention to that. 79 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:04,009 They like to brag. 80 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,877 What is that? Emergency Phone numbers? 81 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:08,013 Oh, no, I guess you Could call it my bible. 82 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:12,451 Well, it might work on Vampires, but not sweathogs. 83 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,786 This is the jones College guidebook 84 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,955 For remedial specialists. 85 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:19,524 I rely on it for everything. 86 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,959 I should warn you, One teacher to another, 87 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,696 That these kids are Not out of any books. 88 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,866 This is like working In an amusement park. 89 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,979 It's like going through A lion country safari 90 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,903 Wearing a meatloaf suit. 91 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,743 Well, it's time to enter The magic kingdom. 92 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,211 I don't understand. 93 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,413 You will, just follow me. 94 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:43,860 Here they are, held over 95 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,117 For the second Straight semester. 96 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,452 Living color. 97 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,220 ♪ hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho ♪ 98 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,188 ♪ hi-ho ♪ 99 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,390 ♪ it's off to school we go ♪ 100 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,968 Well, I'd like you all To meet somebody. 101 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,136 Everybody say hello to Your new student teacher, 102 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,205 Ms. Wright. 103 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,074 You are gonna teach? 104 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,876 Here? 105 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,245 Us? 106 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:24,255 I'm so sorry. 107 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,624 Look, they brought us a rookie. 108 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,271 Yeah, I give her Two weeks with us, 109 00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:30,406 And she's gonna shave her Head and be selling incense 110 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:33,598 On the corner of 42nd street. 111 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,999 All right, all right. 112 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,536 Look, ms. Wright is gonna be Spending a couple days with us. 113 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,404 I want you to show Her some respect. 114 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:44,676 Hey, man... Hello? Hello? 115 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,912 Just show her the same Respect you show me, okay? 116 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:53,518 Hello? Hello? 117 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,320 Show her the same Respect you show me 118 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,688 When I threaten to keep Everybody after school 119 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,891 Until august. 120 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,739 - ♪ hello ♪ - ♪ hello ♪ 121 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,332 - ♪ hello ♪ - ♪ hello ♪ 122 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,702 Hello, ms. Wright. 123 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:14,339 Well, these are your Basic sweathogs. 124 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,885 Now I think it's time We started class. 125 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,629 Why don't you have a seat. 126 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:22,413 Okay, now I have just Completed grading your essays 127 00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,650 On "If I were president Of the united states," 128 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,921 And I found them... So very interesting 129 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,057 That I think some of Them have to be shared 130 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,402 With the rest of the class. 131 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,426 Aw, come on. 132 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,407 All right, I would like To start out with this one. 133 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,597 It has a real snappy title. 134 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,568 "If I were the dc main man." 135 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,804 It's by mr. F. B.B. Washington. 136 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,512 The b.B. Stands for "Boom boom." 137 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,561 Since you're so proud of this, 138 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,129 Why don't you read It for everybody. 139 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,486 All right. 140 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,326 Hi, there. 141 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,067 If I was the prez, There would be equality 142 00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:18,202 For everyone, I say. 143 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,711 - why? - why? 144 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,407 You want to know why? 145 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:26,944 Because I believe... In change. 146 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,814 I think we should change Our national anthem, 147 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:33,084 Or at least get a Better drummer! 148 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,630 I ask you, did you, 149 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:38,223 Did you ever try to dance To the star-spangled banner? 150 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,757 Yes, brothers and sisters. 151 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,626 I believe in change. 152 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:44,696 You got any ideas for Change, you send them to me. 153 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:47,765 You ain't got no change, Just send a fold in money. 154 00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,834 I want your thoughts, I want your ideas, 155 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,236 But mostly, I want your money! 156 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,238 All major credit cards accepted. 157 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,941 Hallelujah, baby! 158 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:07,319 Thank you, reverend ike. 159 00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,798 Next, we have a young man 160 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,889 Whom we've all come to Expect big things from. 161 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,593 So far, we are still expecting, 162 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,060 But any day now. 163 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,529 Mr. Arnold horshack. 164 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:19,063 All right, arnold! 165 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,234 Thank you, thank you. 166 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,670 No, really, thank you. 167 00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,538 Thank you. 168 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,978 Ahem. 169 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:38,049 "If I was president of These united states," 170 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,052 By arnold horshack. 171 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:46,391 If I was president of These united states, 172 00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:51,162 I would do away with the Office of vice president. 173 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,766 Why do I need an understudy? 174 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,501 I would appoint vinnie barbarino 175 00:08:57,571 --> 00:09:00,138 As my minister of affairs. 176 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:08,679 Juan epstein... Hi, juan! 177 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:13,117 He would be my Secretary of hurting. 178 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:16,954 And mr. Kotter will head The department of health, 179 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:22,593 Education, and groucho. 180 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:24,140 Thank you, arnold, How this elephant 181 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,998 Got in my pajamas, I'll never know. 182 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,634 Oh, mr. Kotter! 183 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,117 Ms. Wright, would you like To take the wheel for a while? 184 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,507 Go ahead. 185 00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:45,549 Hello, boys and girls. 186 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:53,618 I'm... Ms... Wri-I-ight. 187 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:59,030 Hello again, ms. Wri-I-ight. 188 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:07,138 Now, the first thing To do would be to... 189 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,974 Check your seating. 190 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,142 What for? 191 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,344 To make sure You're alphabetical. 192 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:19,283 Well, I ain't. I'm italian. 193 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:24,155 No, I mean... ♪ a, b, c, d ♪ 194 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,858 ♪ g, e, f ♪ 195 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:32,163 I heard that, it's a good tune. 196 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,998 Well, are you? 197 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,967 What? 198 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:39,070 Sitting in the order Of the alphabet? 199 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,839 Where? 200 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,041 In this class. 201 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:47,378 Hey, allow me to rectify Myself, ms. Wright. 202 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,880 We are alphabetical. 203 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,115 What's your name? 204 00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,382 Juan epstein. 205 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,451 Does what to who? 206 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,151 Don't touch me! 207 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,462 I'm sorry, I forgot myself. 208 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,665 Um, well, mr. Epstein, 209 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,634 Alphabetically, Shouldn't the a's 210 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,113 Be sitting where you are? 211 00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,857 Well, yeah, that's Absolutely correct. 212 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,984 You see, 'cause like every Time I come into the room, 213 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,509 Everybody goes, "'ey, epstein!" 214 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,545 ♪ 'ey, epstein, epstein ♪ 215 00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:22,780 ♪ epstein, rah, rah ♪ 216 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,181 Yeah, baby. 217 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,851 Oh, oh! 218 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,487 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 219 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,556 Oh, oh! 220 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,759 And I should be sitting Where the o's sit, 221 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,094 Because at least Once in every class, 222 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,964 I go, "Oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh!" 223 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,900 You do that every Minute of the day. 224 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,669 Uh, children now, quiet. 225 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:49,074 Children, uh... Quiet! 226 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:55,613 Uhh... Now... 227 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,915 Another way for us to Get to know each other 228 00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,485 Is, uh, for each of you to, uh, 229 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:04,089 Stand and tell me a little bit About your ethnic background. 230 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:09,794 That will also give me a chance To check your racial balance. 231 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,974 Well, we either come out With half a puerto rican 232 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:15,466 Or half a jew left over. 233 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,336 My family, we couldn't Afford our own background. 234 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:30,247 We shared ours with a Chinese family downstairs. 235 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:34,318 You ever try moo goo gai grits? 236 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,925 My grandparents, They came from sicily 237 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,728 In a bottom of a boat Filled with olive oil. 238 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:49,734 The minute it docked, They slid into brooklyn. 239 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:54,138 Ms. Wright, I traced My family tree... 240 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:04,281 And I found out that Three of my uncles 241 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:09,086 All died of dutch elm disease. 242 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:12,957 Yeah, and you're a little sap. 243 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,559 Well, your family Swings in trees, juan. 244 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,295 - oh, yeah? - yeah. 245 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,933 Oh, to maintain Order... All right, guys! 246 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,235 Guys! 247 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:28,138 To maintain order... Cool it. 248 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,841 I can handle it, mr. Kotter. 249 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:31,975 Are you sure? 250 00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,545 Mm-hm! 251 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,681 Mmm. 252 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,784 Everybody sit down. 253 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,601 All right, then, I think We should just continue 254 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,436 With what mr. Kotter was Doing, reading essays on 255 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,271 "If I were president Of the united states." 256 00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:51,729 I have one here by mr. Epstein. 257 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,064 Uh, beggin' your pardon, Ma'am, but, uh, you see, 258 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,811 I wrote a poem There, not an essay, 259 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,580 And I'd rather not read it. 260 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,903 Oh, but you must take Pride in your work. 261 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,206 Use of names and Forces identity. 262 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,343 Come on, mr. Kotter, do I gotta? 263 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,078 Ms. Wright is the teacher. 264 00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:11,015 Oh, wait a second now. 265 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,617 I hear a note Coming in from home. 266 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:23,027 Dear mr. Kotter or to Whom it may concern, 267 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:27,098 Juan cannot read his essay. 268 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:35,167 He's had a sudden Attack of... Laryngitis? 269 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:42,313 Signed, epstein's mother. 270 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:51,688 Student refuses to read essay, Student refuses to read essay. 271 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,190 Read essay for him. 272 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,526 Very well, I shall have To read this for you. 273 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,240 "If I were president," By mr. Epstein. 274 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,841 "If I were president For just one day, 275 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,899 I'd take everyone's worries And just throw them all away." 276 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:02,968 Oh, how nice. 277 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:06,403 Oh, how nice! Oh, how nice! 278 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:09,373 "I'd pull all the weeds And plant some flowers 279 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,575 Where they'd been, 280 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,443 'cause a flower's like a person, 281 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,311 It always blooms in the end." 282 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,118 Hey, I-I asked you not To read it, I really did. 283 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,853 That's for mr. Kotter to read. 284 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,165 What... What are You trying to do? 285 00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,109 You come in here, you're Trying to change things, 286 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,269 You put us in alphabetical... 287 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,104 Yeah, you put us in Alphabetical order, 288 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,828 And then you ask us about Our ethnic background. 289 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,630 What's your ethnic background? 290 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:36,400 Uh, white bread... No, that's cafeteria. 291 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:37,746 Come on, hey, It ain't in a book. 292 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,014 Come on, it ain't in the book. 293 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,083 Look at me, I'm the One that's talkin' to ya, 294 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,040 And I asked ya, And I asked ya nice 295 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,241 Not to read it. 296 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,310 All right, juan. 297 00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,944 Come on, just take it easy. 298 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,549 It's not supposed To be like this. 299 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,521 Well, congratulations On setting a new record. 300 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,658 You just destroyed a Career in under ten minutes. 301 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:04,261 ♪ 302 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,735 Buchanan high! 303 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,070 Kotter. 304 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,638 Looks like a lot of mail. 305 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,540 Have you got a chain letter? 306 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,175 Yes. 307 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,713 Oh, ms. Wright, listen. 308 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,915 I want to apologize for What happened this morning. 309 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,795 No, mr. Kotter, It's not their fault, 310 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,718 It was mine. 311 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,331 I'm a failure as a teacher. 312 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,888 I ran, mr. Kotter. 313 00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,956 I never should have Majored in ghetto. 314 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,826 I should have majored in suburb. 315 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,462 Kotter, look, we've Got to help her. 316 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,731 We need her kind of training, And I have a gut feeling 317 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,068 That there's a heck of a Teacher in there somewhere. 318 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,237 Plus if principal lazarus Finds out she's quit, 319 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,173 It's my donkey. 320 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,742 Your donkey? 321 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:59,349 It's a good one, Mr. Woodman, really good. 322 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,651 Ms. Wright, look. 323 00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:02,686 I understand how you feel, 324 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,522 But you can't let one little Incident cause you to quit. 325 00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,960 I'm sorry, mr. Kotter. I'm Just not prepared for them. 326 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,961 Ah, they're nothing. 327 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,498 Your generation has it easy. 328 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,799 What was it like in Your day, mr. Woodman? 329 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,346 Well, let me put it this way. 330 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:22,206 ♪ nobody knows the Trouble I've seen ♪ 331 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:26,677 ♪ nobody knows the sorrow ♪ 332 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,431 I don't know whether You've heard about it, 333 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,424 Mr. Woodman, but Vaudeville's dead. 334 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,236 Believe me, kotter, those Were the tough years, 335 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,227 Back when they had inkwells. 336 00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:46,263 You ever drink a Thermos bottle of ink? 337 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:49,667 I coughed rorschach Test for a whole week! 338 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,369 Didn't they have Spankings in those days? 339 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:57,575 Yes, but my students Only spanked me once. 340 00:17:57,643 --> 00:18:00,745 Ms. Wright, look, let me Try and help you, okay? 341 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,680 Let's pretend That this is a class. 342 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,627 Now, what you gotta Do is you gotta capture 343 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,328 Their attention, you Know, their imagination. 344 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,586 Now, I do it with humor. 345 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,633 Say that new york city Has a financial crisis. 346 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,167 "Hey, kids, you Know new york city 347 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,323 Has a financial crisis? 348 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,703 I got a way to solve it. 349 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,761 The mayor should go Begging one day a week. 350 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:21,465 'excuse me, mister, spare $100,000 for a new bus?'" 351 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,739 Then the class would laugh. 352 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:33,143 Ring, ring, ring. 353 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,180 What are you doing? 354 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,515 It's the bell. 355 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:38,816 This is a pretend class. 356 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,885 I'm pretending it's over. 357 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,656 ♪ nobody knows the Trouble I've seen ♪ 358 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:49,092 ♪ nobody knows the sorrow ♪ 359 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:54,231 All right, look. 360 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,834 I know that she's not What you're used to, 361 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,969 But you gotta give her a chance. 362 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,482 I mean, yesterday Was her first time 363 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:01,983 In front of a real class. 364 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,307 Oh, that's nice. 365 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:07,879 That's the first time you Called us a real class. 366 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,624 - good morning, ms. Wright. - good morning. 367 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,815 - good morning, ms. Wright. - hey, how you doin'? 368 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,584 Well, uh, we just got underway, 369 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:14,963 You want to take It from the start? 370 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:15,987 Mm-hm. 371 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,499 And, uh, thanks for your advice. 372 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,524 I know just what to do. 373 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,427 Uh, ms. Wright, about yesterday, 374 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,862 I'm really sorry. 375 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:28,366 It's just that, you know, you Weren't capturing my style. 376 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:30,901 In your mouth with a sandwich. 377 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,884 Uh... 378 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,619 It's nice to be working Here again at buchanan. 379 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,056 Actually, it's nice To be working... 380 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,523 Anywhere again. 381 00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,797 Uh, I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing. 382 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,971 Being a teacher Reminds me of the story 383 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,641 Of this student Who asked his father, 384 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,142 "Where are the himalayas?" 385 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,078 And his father answered, "If you'd put your things away 386 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,858 When you were through Playing with them, 387 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,351 Maybe you could find them." 388 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,753 I'm rolling! 389 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,663 I hear new york is Having a financial crisis. 390 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,533 Why don't we have a fire sale? 391 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:44,742 But... But seriously, folks. 392 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:48,879 But, uh... But Seriously, mr. Kotter. 393 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:53,049 I can't go on with This, this just isn't me. 394 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,730 - where are you goin'? - I'm quitting. 395 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,794 Hey, no, you're not. No, you can't quit. 396 00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,488 Why not? I'm a lousy teacher. 397 00:20:58,557 --> 00:20:59,623 So what? 398 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,892 It's only because We're lousy students. 399 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,162 We can't quit. 400 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:08,766 Ms. Wright, look, I'm afraid I gave you a bum steer. 401 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,478 You tried to do it by the book, 402 00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:12,770 And now you just tried to do me. 403 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,705 Why don't you try To be yourself? 404 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,140 You can't quit. 405 00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:18,609 What would this world be Like if everybody just quit? 406 00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,745 A lot like this class. 407 00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,883 Yeah, where would We be if mr. Kotter 408 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:27,985 Would've walked out on us, huh? 409 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:31,154 Still in the ninth grade. 410 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,301 We all learn the same Basic things in life. 411 00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:36,293 Doesn't matter if you're a Teacher or if you're a student. 412 00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,796 We can't stop learning. 413 00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,030 Try it again. 414 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:41,499 Come on, try it. 415 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,300 You can't go home. 416 00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,336 Try it again. 417 00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:50,474 But I just don't know How to talk to them. 418 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:54,711 Whatever you're gonna teach 'em, just teach 'em as yourself. 419 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:59,016 Okay. Okay. 420 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:02,353 Yesterday you were discussing Presidents of the united states, 421 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:06,223 So today I had wanted to tell You about president buchanan. 422 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:08,525 Boy, that name sounds familiar. 423 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:15,065 Vinnie, that's the guy who This school was named after, 424 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,900 President buchanan. 425 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,580 If they named this School after him, 426 00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:20,670 He must have been A lousy president. 427 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,906 Well, actually, you're right. 428 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,709 He was a lousy president, He was our 15th president, 429 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:29,079 And he was largely Responsible for the civil war. 430 00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:32,282 Well, that wasn't so bad. 431 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:36,319 A lot of great songs Came out of that war. 432 00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:38,321 Yeah, yeah, if it wasn't For the civil war, 433 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,601 Can you imagine how dull 434 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,492 "Gone with the Wind" would've been? 435 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,661 Well, speaking of dull, President james buchanan 436 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,630 Spent four years in his office 437 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,209 Staring at portraits on the wall 438 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,945 Wondering if he Was better looking 439 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,668 Than george washington. 440 00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:52,970 Hey, you know what? 441 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,405 He probably would've Made a terrific sweathog. 442 00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:57,285 That's right, tell me More about this guy. 443 00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:58,342 Tell me about it. 444 00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,177 Well, he was the only president 445 00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:02,346 That never got married. 446 00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:05,182 I guess he... Never had a date. 447 00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:09,519 And that's the way it was, 448 00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:15,325 Nearly 200 years ago today. 449 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,762 This bicentennial Moment is brought to you 450 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:21,798 By our teacher, ms. Wright. 451 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,215 I'm doing it, aren't I? 452 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,617 I'm teaching, I'm Really teaching. 453 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:29,906 You certainly are. 454 00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:31,820 Welcome to the battle For the brains, teacher. 455 00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,321 - thank you. - so, what happened? 456 00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:34,823 Was he better looking or not? 457 00:23:34,847 --> 00:23:36,113 Was he impeached? 458 00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:38,782 He was the only president Who couldn't get a date. 459 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,203 Julie, did I ever tell You about my uncle 460 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,592 Wilfred k. Kotter? 461 00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:51,139 You mean the strange one? 462 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:53,063 Boy, was he Strange. Strange guy. 463 00:23:53,131 --> 00:23:54,842 One time he goes To a psychiatrist. 464 00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:56,733 He says, "Doc, do You think it's possible 465 00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:59,102 For a man to be in Love with an elephant?" 466 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:00,371 That's ridiculous. 467 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,950 That's what the doctor said. 468 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:03,619 "Mr. Wilfred k. Kotter, That is ridiculous. 469 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,076 A man cannot be in Love with an elephant." 470 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,279 Well, my uncle looked Kind of sad and he said, 471 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:09,891 "All right, but can you tell me 472 00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,955 Where I can get rid of an Engagement ring this big?" 473 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:27,931 ♪ 474 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,801 ♪ welcome back ♪ 475 00:24:30,869 --> 00:24:34,538 ♪ your dreams were Your ticket out ♪ 476 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,707 ♪ welcome back ♪ 477 00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:41,345 ♪ to that same old place That you laughed about ♪ 478 00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:43,747 ♪ well the names Have all changed 479 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,883 Since you hung around ♪ 480 00:24:45,951 --> 00:24:48,051 ♪ but those dreams have remained 481 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:50,320 And they've turned around ♪ 482 00:24:50,389 --> 00:24:52,389 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 483 00:24:52,458 --> 00:24:54,378 ♪ who'd have thought They'd lead ya ♪ 484 00:24:54,427 --> 00:24:56,393 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 485 00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:58,629 ♪ back here where we need ya ♪ 486 00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,464 ♪ yeah, we tease him a lot 487 00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:02,866 'cause we got him on the spot ♪ 488 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:05,168 ♪ welcome back ♪ 489 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:08,205 ♪ welcome back, welcome Back, welcome back ♪♪ 35314

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