All language subtitles for The.Wonder.Years.S06E13.DVDRip.x264-DEiMOS_track3_[und]

[ joe cocker's "With a little
Help from my friends" plays ]

-♪ baby ♪

-♪ high with a little help
From my friends ♪

-♪ said I'm gonna make it
With my friends ♪

-♪ try with a little help
From my friends ♪

-♪ oh, oh,
I'm gonna keep on tryin' ♪

-♪ get by with a little help
From my friends ♪

-♪ I'm gonna keep on tryin',
Now, babe ♪

-♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

[ school bell rings ]

-and so I figured,

Since the program
Was about indians,

That I should watch it,

E-even though it meant
Skippin' the homework.

-teen logic --

at 16, it was a tool we used
with abandon.

-'cause remember --

You said there'd be indian stuff
On the test.

-and at what point
Did you realize

"Kojak" was not
An indian name?

-um...

[ school bell rings ]

-and this logic came
in all shapes and sizes.

-I don't care who he takes.

Who wants a steady boyfriend,
Anyway?

-we used it to help us through
life's tough moments.

-I mean, all that making out
Just gets your hair all sweaty!

-so, what's the big deal?

-it helped explain
our behavioral oddities.

-if they don't want
A few laughs,

Then they shouldn't
Hand out frogs in biology.

-but never was our logic
more useful

than when it lent credence
to a really hot rumor.

-this is totally ridiculous,
Chuck.

-I swear to god, it's true.

-I'm sorry --
The rolling stones do not come

Within 300 miles of this town.

-it was a dull week
in the winter of '73,

so the rumor had spread
like wildfire.

-I'm tellin' ya -- friday night,

The stones are gonna be
At a place called joe's

Out on highway 9.

-right.

-by junior year, I'd been down
the old rumor trail

one too many times.

-there's no way.
Paul, tell him.

-it's a zillion to 1.
It's not gonna happen.

-I rest my case.

-maybe I was a little tough
on the guy,

but it was so clear to anyone

with even a semblance
of intelligence.

-hey, you guys hear
About the stones?

unfortunately,
a semblance of intelligence

was in short supply.

-I don't want to hear it.

-okay, I'm sorry.
I lost my mind.

-fine.

-it's just, I-I heard
That for a while,

This joe was like the sixth
Rolling stone, you know?

-great -- insanity
had taken over my school...

[ siren wails ]

...And the law
had taken over vine street.

-oh, man.

[ siren fades ]

-why don't you
Plead insanity, kev?

-shut up.

-may I see your license, please?

-of course, a situation like
this required I reach back

for a little
of my own teen logic.

-you realize
That it's impossible

To go the speed limit
On this street?

-is that a fact?

-okay...

Here's the thing...

Grades are
Really important to me.

So I was really trying
To get home --

To study.

Because...I know that...

A lot of criminals
Got bad grades in school.

S-so that if...
Kids got better grades...

By studying hard,
Then there would be less...

Criminals around.

-wow. Yeah.

-but when it came to logic,
some guys had the knack...

-you must make
Your parents proud.

-...And some guys
had the ticket.

-have a nice day.

-all of which added up
to one thing.

-you had me sold.

-somehow, I was gonna
have to explain this to...

-it was great!

-...My dad.

-this guy, zeke, comes in
With a cowboy hat, a string tie,

And he tells me he needs
A truckload of furniture.

-[ chuckles ]
That's wonderful, honey.

-it was our biggest order yet!

-still, that night,

the furniture gods
were smiling on me.

-dad?

-yeah.

-yep, this was gonna be
a piece of cake.

-y-you know that...
S-stretch of road

On vine street?

-mm-hmm.
-well...

I was driving there
This afternoon, and...

-you know, now it's like the guy
Wants to be my best friend.

-[ chuckling ] I know.
His wife called this morning.

-she did?
-mm-hmm.

They want to take us
Dancing tomorrow night.

-oh.

-square dancing.

-what?

-uh-oh.

-[ chortles ]

Square dancing?!
[ laughs ]

[ utensil clanks ]

-forget it.
We're not goin'.

-suddenly,
I watched his mood change

faster than you could say
"Sons of the pioneers."

-are you sure, honey?
It might be good for business.

-oh, brother.

[ wayne clapping ]

-♪ grab your partner, do-si-do ♪

Sorry.

[ humming ]

-what are you lookin' at?

-nothing.

-now, I may have been
a criminal,

but I wasn't stupid enough
to try my luck right then.

Nothing at all.

it just wouldn't be logical.

speaking of which...

-absolute confirmation.

All right,
Gary zerwinski's sister --

She's a stewardess, right?

She met keith richards on
A flight to new york last year.

-ooh!

-yeah, so? So?

-I don't believe this.

-anyways, they got to new york,

They had a couple drinks --
Plural --

And now the stones
Are back in the u.S. Of a.,

And who does keith richards
Want to see?

-shirley...

-zerwinski.

-voilà!

-I'd had enough.

I was the lone bastion
of reason.

-what?!

You people are all crazy.

-kevin, what's your problem?

-huh?

-I mean,
What if it could happen?

And what if we could be
A part of it?

-now, keep in mind,
this was my best girl,

my one true love.

-think of it, kevin.

A night we could share
With each other

For the rest of our lives,

And maybe someday
Tell our children about.

-children?

-so, when she spun her dreams
about magical nights

and miracles and children...

-I could never risk
Missing something like that.

-...What else could I say
to those big brown eyes,

except...

-who's paying for gas?

-all right!
-what the heck?

there was a certain logic
to this whole thing.

and what did I have to lose?

[ knock on door ]

-kevin? Is this yours?

-except my life.

-it went through the wash,
And I...

-honey, could you, uh...

-oh.

-oh, what's this?

-it's...Nothing.

It's...

-it's a speeding ticket.
Is this yours?

-I-I don't think so.

-it's got your name on it.

-oh, yeah.
That -- that's mine.

-you want to tell me about it?

-nope.

-well...Dad,
You know vine street?

-everyone speeds there.

-I don't.

-stay out of it, wayne.

-[ chortling ]

-so, what happened?

-it's just...
Some tickets are really unfair.

-yeah. I know they are.

So how fast were you goin'?

-well, that's the thing.

That cop
Didn't even have a radar.

He just...Guessed!

-come on, kev.
How fast?

-I figured,
this was my father.

he'd been in a few scrapes
in his life.

he'd understand.

-just...Tell me the truth.

-and even though logic
screamed at me not to...

-50 -- tops.

-...I went with the facts.

-50?!

In a 30-mile zone?!

You're grounded!

-I may have miscalculated.

-dad, can we at least
Talk about this?

-I don't want
To talk about it.

-but --
-I don't want to hear about it.

-dad, I have to go out
Tonight.

-why?

-I knew I had to capture
the magic the way winnie had.

this wasn't about
one little night out.

it was about our dreams,
our children.

-the rolling stones are playing
At some dive called joe's.

-hmmm.

and if that stirring tribute
wasn't enough...

[ car horn plays "Dixie" ]

-what was that?

-hey, you, arnold!
Get on out here!

-[ chuckling ]
Whoa, dad, uh...

Roy and dale are here.
[ chortles ]

-great.

-so, uh...
-[ sighs ]

-...Dad, what do you say?

-kevin,
I'm going square dancing,

And when I get home,
That car of yours

Better not have moved one inch
Off its oil spot.

-and somehow, I knew the man
meant every single word.

he even said it
in sign language.

-well...See ya, scrum.

Have fun. [ chortles ]

[ door closes ]

-right.

-and there wasn't anything more
I could say, except...

-hello. Mrs. Cooper?

Is winnie there?

-I had no choice.
I would have to cancel.

and that's when I discovered
a catastrophe in the making,

an event
of monumental significance,

a potential disaster

that could alter the course
of the universe.

and the reason was...

-we're out of milk.

-...We were out of milk.

but it wasn't just
that we were out of milk.

if my dad got up
the next morning

and couldn't have his cereal...

things like this
didn't just happen.

-kevin?

-there were forces
at work here.

-hello?

-forces that demanded
I go out and --

-kevin?!

-winnie?
I'll pick you up in 10 minutes.

[ engine turns over ]

-okay, I'd get the milk
afterwards.

that way, it would be fresher.

hey, it wasn't like
I was defying my father.

he needed the milk
for his morning cereal.

and even if it was
stretching teenage logic

to its maximum...

[ brakes squeal ]

...He had specifically said
not to move my car.

and so that night,
in a semi-stolen car,

we were en route to
the experience of a lifetime --

me, my girl,
and larry, moe, and curly.

-hey, you want some?

-hey, no food in the car!

-this isn't food! Here.

-thanks.
[ horns honking ]

-whoops. [ laughs ]

-oh, man. Nice move.

-hey, come on, kevin.
Lighten up, man.

-yeah, I mean, it's not like
It's your car anyway.

-great --
I was growing concerned

for my father's car,

and my friends were turning it
into a cheap motel.

-where is this place, anyway?

-just outside of hinckley.

-hinckley?
Well, that's an hour away.

-well, there's no way
I'm driving to hinckley.

-well, what did you expect, kev?

The rolling stones
Are gonna come to your door?

[ laughter ]

-no, paul, I didn't expect them
To come at all. Remember?

-fine -- you try to maintain
some kind of maturity,

and you're suddenly
the bad guy.

-geez. What a downer.

-okay. We'll go to hinckley.

[ laughter ]

-after all, I was in this deep.

so, 47 miles, 3 pit stops,

and any number
of squashed raisinets later,

we arrived at...

-here it is -- "Joe's place."

[ owl hooting ]

-just one little problem.

-the who?

-not the who --
The rolling stones.

[ slow-tempo country music
Playing ]

-hey, joe.

-hmm?

-you got the rolling stones
Comin' here?

-the who?

-I reckon not.

-and, faced
with the first disappointment

of the evening...
-[ exhales sharply ]

-...We did what red-blooded
teenagers did best.

-you mean
We drove over an hour...

And there's
No rolling stones?

-we turned on each other.

-well, don't look at me.
It's not my fault.

-and then we passed the buck.

-what? It's not mine, either.

-and we pointed fingers.

-no way! It was chuck!

-hey, look at this! There are
A whole mess of "Joe's"!

-hey, you!

That's my yellow pages!

-whoops.
Uh, yeah, let's hit it.

-yeah. Come on.

-bye!

-come back here!

-come on! Gun it!

-and with that, we were
once again off on our mission.

[ siren wailing ]
only this time...

we had company.

[ siren continues ]

-[ amplified ] pull your vehicle
To the side of the road!

-I don't believe this!
-now!

-holy cow.

-it was almost ironic.

we had traveled
halfway across the world

to get busted
for stealing page 219

of the bell telephone book.

-kind of a jackrabbit start
There, wasn't it, pal?

-uh, uh...

No, sir.

I-I mean...Yes, sir.

-may I see
Your driver's license, please?

-and no amount of logic was
gonna get me out of this one.

-[ mooing ]

-I was stuck -- dead.

-[ sighs ]

-officer?

I can explain.

-until...

-this is all my fault.

Kevin is
The best driver we know.

And he was gonna
Stay home tonight,

But he knew that if he did,

We may have
Gotten rides to...

Go see my grandmother
In the hospital

With someone who isn't
A very good driver at all.

And I know he was afraid

That we might end up
In some terrible crash --

Or worse, and...

That he might spend
The rest of his life

Wondering what might have been
If only...He had been driving.

-it was the most
obviously transparent,

clumsy piece of teen logic

I had ever heard
in my entire life.

-okay, I understand.

You drive careful, son.

-and he bought it.

-y-yes, sir.

-and take care
Of this young lady.

And you --
Say hi to your grandma.

-it was incredible.
it was unbelievable.

it was impossible.

-[ laughs ]

-and suddenly, it was clear...

that this night was special.

it was a matter of destiny.

something magical
was awaiting us.

and as we went
from smokey joe's

to billy joe's
to joe joe's to ho joe's,

we never gave up.

because it all boiled down
to one thing --

the rolling stones...

-I knew it!

I knew it.

-...Would be at wally's.

and we'd found it.
it was amazing.

our very own...
-this is it!

...Woodstock.

-this is unbelievable.

-I told you, kevin.
I told you.

-yeah.

each of us knew every moment
of our youth would be defined

by its relationship in time
to this one.

it was our moment,
and we were there.

[ crowd chanting "Mick!" ]

-there he is!

[ chanting continues ]

-who is that?

-and, of course,
it wasn't mick.

it was wally...

-now, listen, you kids! This is
The last time I'm gonna tell ya!

-...And his bullhorn.

-the rolling stones ain't here,
And they ain't gonna be here!

[ crowd groans ]

-and wally let us know,
in no uncertain terms,

that the crowning event
of our youth...

-the only people gonna be here
Is the police!

-...Was a bust.

-kevin, I'm really sorry.

-[ chuckles ]
Nah, forget about it.

-what the heck.

this wasn't the time
for "I told you sos"

or rubbing it in.

-no, you were the only one
Who knew

How ridiculous we sounded.

-ah, come on.

I mean, we came here,
We had a good time.

What more could you ask?

Right, guys?

-it felt pretty good.

I was generous.
[ engine turns over ]

I was nonchalant.

[ tires screech ]
I was...

[ crash ]

...An idiot!

suddenly, my goodwill ebbed.

-now look what you made me do!

-hey!
we weren't driving.

-and I no longer felt generous.

-no! I was driving.

And you know why?

-I felt rage.

-because I'm crazy!

I knew the rolling stones
Would never show up!

[ hubcap rattles ]

-I was really mad.

and my foot hurt a lot.

on the way home,

everyone was feeling
pretty rotten,

lost in their own thoughts
about missed opportunities.

me?
I just had one thought.

while the rest of the world
would go on to college,

have careers, jobs, families,
a life of their own...

I would be spending
the rest of the '70s...

grounded.

[ sighs ]

face it -- I was a young man
without a future.

and not only that,
I'd even forgotten the milk.

[ car horn plays "Dixie" ]

[ keys clatter ]

my fate hung
on my dad's rear end.

and as soon as he saw it,
no story, no tale,

no ocean of logic
was going to help.

nothing would save me now.

-whoa!
[ hubcap rattles ]

-except...

-is everybody okay?

-holy cow!

[ dog barking in distance ]

-I couldn't believe it.

it was nothing
but a mass of broken metal

and busted bolts.

-boy, I did it this time.

Guess I'm just gonna have to
Learn to stop spinnin' yarns

When I'm supposed to be
Applying brake.

-yeah.

-in one clumsy move, the cowboy
had given me back my life.

-I bet she's...
Your pride and joy, too.

-yeah.

-and, of course, there was only
one appropriate thing to say.

-sorry, dad.

-yeah.

-I'll tell ya what.

I'm gonna make this up to ya,
Western-style.

Our place up north

Is in sorrowful need
Of furnishin' right now.

And we'll take all the furniture
You can make.

-uh...

What's a little bumper
Between friends, huh?

[ chuckles ]

-and just like that...

-I'm glad you feel that way
About it.

-ah, sure.

Now, about that furniture...

-...My father's heartache
turned into profit.

but the truth was,
it wasn't all this guy's fault.

and somehow I couldn't help
but feel a little guilty.

-you know,
I feel a little guilty.

[ chuckles softly ]

-why?

Well, it's just that

I know that some of that damage
Was already there.

-uh-oh.

-you do?

-yeah.

I ran into the wall
Of the market yesterday.

-and that's when I realized

there's all kinds of logic
in this world.

-why didn't you say anything?

-I don't know.

I...Guess I just thought
Nobody would notice.

-norma,
We're fixin' to leave now.

-we had a wonderful time,
Betty lynn.

-and a lot of it
doesn't make any sense.

that night, moved
by the forces of teen logic,

I'd stolen my dad's car,
had a run-in with the police,

a fight with my friends,
and an accident.

all in all,
it was a great evening.

even if there were
no rolling stones.

[ feedback ]

Man: [ british accent ]
Hey, joe?

Could I get some more volume?

[ the rolling stones'
"Brown sugar" plays ]