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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:06,304 -♪ what would you do If I sang out of tune? ♪ 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:11,276 ♪ would you stand up And walk out on me? ♪ 3 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:17,515 ♪ lend me your ears, And I'll sing you a song ♪ 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,018 ♪ I will try not to sing Out of key, yeah ♪ 5 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:25,223 ♪ oh, baby, I get by ♪ -♪ by with a little help From my friends ♪ 6 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,691 -♪ all I need is my buddies ♪ 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,928 -♪ high with a little help From my friends ♪ 8 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,066 -♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ -♪ try with a little help From my friends ♪ 9 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,601 -♪ whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪ 10 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,303 -♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 11 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:42,707 -♪ somebody who knows Quite sure ♪ 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,908 ♪ baby ♪ 13 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,445 -♪ by with a little help From my friends ♪ 14 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,746 -♪ said I'm gonna make it With my friends ♪ 15 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,549 -♪ try with a little help From my friends ♪ 16 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,751 -♪ oh, I'm gonna Keep on trying ♪ 17 00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:56,454 -♪ high with a little help From my friends ♪ 18 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,957 -♪ I'm gonna keep on trying now, Baby ♪ 19 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,859 -♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 20 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:08,566 -every culture has its own rites of passage, 21 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,136 ways of marking that leap from childhood... 22 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,839 to manhood. 23 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:18,376 complex rituals, weird dances, 24 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,446 acts of courage and survival. 25 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:27,085 it's a tradition as old as civilization or... 26 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,722 as recent as crabgrass. 27 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,690 fact -- in the suburbs, 28 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:35,459 a boy's first steps towards manhood 29 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,328 start behind a lawnmower. 30 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,397 -hey, kevin! 31 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:42,299 Watch where you're going. You missed a patch. 32 00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:45,136 -sorry, dad. 33 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:49,206 -still, for me, at 16, lawn care had given way 34 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,075 to something much, much more important. 35 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,178 [ horn honks ] 36 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,349 the driver's license. 37 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,550 [ horn honks ] 38 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,585 the thing that separates the boys... 39 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,587 -lucky stiff. 40 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,023 -...From the men. 41 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,926 and so on and so forth. 42 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,394 -kev! 43 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,595 Kev! 44 00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,431 What the hell Are you doing there? 45 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,665 -I was just -- 46 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,968 -you're burning a hole In the yard. 47 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,937 -right, dad. 48 00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,707 -and don't forget to put the Mower away when you're finished. 49 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,842 -okay, I will! 50 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,111 [ engine idling ] 51 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,547 -but the truth was, by the spring of 10th grade, 52 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:32,216 it was time to put the mower in mothballs. 53 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,952 forget the crabgrass. 54 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,387 make the jump from two cylinders... 55 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:37,656 [ brakes squeal ] 56 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,224 ...To real horsepower. 57 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,562 [ brakes squeal, thump ] 58 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,697 -[ sighs ] 59 00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:49,934 Okay, now, miss pedermeir, Let's try it again. 60 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,069 -okay. 61 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,805 -only this time, Easy on the brake, okay? 62 00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:57,108 -which one's the brake? 63 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,576 -driver's ed -- 64 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:02,681 the final demarcation line between those who could... 65 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,550 and those who probably shouldn't. 66 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,018 -easy gas. 67 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,954 [ brakes squeal ] Easy brake. 68 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,421 Easy gas. 69 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,356 [ brakes squeal, thump ] 70 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,026 -by the second week of on-the-road training, 71 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,761 one thing was becoming clear. 72 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,496 -look -- old gum. 73 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,565 -yeah? [ chuckles ] What flavor? 74 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,334 -when it came to operating a motor vehicle, 75 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,937 these other kids were gonna need a lot of help. 76 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,606 -that's fine for today, Miss pedermeir. 77 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,576 -I thought you said We were gonna do freeways. 78 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,544 I want to do freeways! 79 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,180 -fortunately, in this car full of jokers, 80 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:39,150 the coach had one ace up his sleeve. 81 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:42,453 -arnold...You ready? 82 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:44,122 -sure am. 83 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,957 -a man... 84 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,293 who was born to drive. 85 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,568 -nice lane change. 86 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,436 -well, I did my best. 87 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,137 -and, put simply, 88 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,575 my best was a lot better than anyone else's. 89 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,445 -I'd like everyone to note How arnold here 90 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,547 Looked over his left shoulder Before merging. 91 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,982 That's, uh, this one, slovoski. 92 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:13,918 [ chuckles ] 93 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,487 And look At that hand position -- 94 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,354 A perfect 10:00 and 2:00. 95 00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:20,324 The motor-vehicle people Are gonna be looking for that. 96 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,627 -thanks, coach. 97 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:26,164 -yeah, I didn't want to brag, but let's face it, 98 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:30,234 I had it all -- the reflexes, the instincts, the timing -- 99 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,369 the whole repertoire. 100 00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:35,372 well, almost the whole repertoire. 101 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:37,675 -okay, we got A couple of minutes here, 102 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,678 So why don't we jump ahead To our next section? 103 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,012 Parallel parking. 104 00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:44,848 It will be on your road test. 105 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:48,619 I repeat, It will be on the test. 106 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,190 -[ chuckles ] you almost had to feel sorry for the poor saps. 107 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,426 -arnold, why don't we show 'em How it's done? 108 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,195 She's all yours. 109 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,397 -sure. 110 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,267 -'course, it was only right I should be the first. 111 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,669 -left hand at noon. 112 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,704 Right arm over the bench. 113 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,307 -after all, I was the natural. 114 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,941 -now, ease her on in. 115 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:16,214 -yep, here it was -- the final frontier. 116 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,383 -you got it. 117 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:23,120 -the last thing standing between me and the open road. 118 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:25,256 get this, and I was home free. 119 00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:37,702 and that's when it happened. 120 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,036 -what happened? 121 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:42,674 -you knocked over a cone! He knocked over a cone! 122 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,975 -I did? 123 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,276 -you creamed it! 124 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,410 [ laughter ] 125 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,112 -wow! 126 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,615 -'course, it could have happened to anybody. 127 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,851 still, for some reason, it rattled me. 128 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,419 -let me do that again. 129 00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,721 [ school bell rings ] 130 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,589 -sorry. We're out of time. 131 00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,725 We'll try it again next time. 132 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,060 See you all on thursday! 133 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,495 -oh. 134 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,598 -and that was that. 135 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,234 a small miscalculation -- nothing more. 136 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,537 not even worth a second thought. 137 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,406 -so? You ran over a cone. What's the big deal? 138 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,710 -okay, two thoughts, but that's all. 139 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,010 -yeah, It's not like you ran over 140 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,912 Someone's pet schnauzer Or anything. [ chuckles ] 141 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:24,114 -that's disgusting. 142 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,916 -yeah, you're probably right. 143 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,353 -listen, I don't know what You're so worried about, kevin. 144 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,155 You're a really good driver. I've seen you. 145 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,090 -thanks. 146 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,825 -'course, He's never seen you park. 147 00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,093 -[ laughs ] 148 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,429 -what's that supposed to mean? 149 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,964 -nothing. It's a joke. 150 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,833 -boy, kev, are you jumpy! 151 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,734 -come on, I mean, Anybody could flub up 152 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,137 The first couple times They parallel-park. 153 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,072 -right? -absolutely. 154 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,642 -trouble was, this wasn't just anybody we were talking about. 155 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,277 this was...Me. 156 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,646 -hey, I never said "A couple of times." 157 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,116 It was once, okay? So let's drop it! 158 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,117 -fine. 159 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,353 -besides, no one's ever failed Their driver's test 160 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,755 Just 'cause they couldn't Parallel-park, right? 161 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,390 -right. 162 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,561 -right. 163 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,497 -and there you had it. 164 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,332 solid logic... 165 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,467 in theory, anyway. 166 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,769 -okay, we'll try it again. 167 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,871 Left hand at noon. 168 00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,474 Right arm over the bench. 169 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:24,742 You ready, arnold? 170 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,743 -ha! 171 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:26,744 -got it. 172 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,679 -'course I was ready. 173 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,514 -slovoski, move your head! 174 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:35,219 -I was just a little...Tense, that's all. 175 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,857 after all, I had a reputation at stake here. 176 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:47,198 still, with the proper amount of concentration... 177 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,367 -you got it. 178 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:53,070 -...Plus the old god-given natural instincts... 179 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,939 -you got it. 180 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,312 -yeah. What a comeback. 181 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:05,083 from here on in, it was gonna be smooth sailin'. 182 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,853 [ bell clanging, Ship horn blows ] 183 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:12,589 if you didn't mind swimming to the curb. 184 00:08:12,591 --> 00:08:14,825 -he missed! [ laughs ] 185 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,529 -good, arnold! 186 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,031 Maybe next time, we can try Parking the rest of the car. 187 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,733 [ laughter ] 188 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,770 -hmm. 189 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,539 that weekend, for some reason, 190 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:33,711 the old lawnmower felt kind of...Good, familiar. 191 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:37,581 not like driving. 192 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,216 -kevin? 193 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,653 -I know, I know. I'm putting it away. 194 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,988 -nah, we got to go pick up New shower doors. 195 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,257 -oh. 196 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,959 -here -- you drive. 197 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,029 -oh. 198 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,565 -you got your driver's test Coming up. 199 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,834 You want to practice, don't you? 200 00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,902 -sure, but, uh... 201 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:01,772 -'course, any other day, I'd have jumped at the chance 202 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,308 to hit the road in dad's gas-guzzler, but... 203 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,778 -I don't know, dad. Maybe I'll just stay here. 204 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,079 -why? Something wrong? 205 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,782 -no! No, it's just... 206 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,618 -I should've told him. 207 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,487 I should've told him... but I didn't. 208 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,855 -never mind. 209 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,057 -then come on. Let's go. 210 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,231 -I don't know. 211 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,367 maybe I just needed some time to think it over. 212 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,302 -not bad. 213 00:09:32,304 --> 00:09:34,572 You're okay. 214 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,541 -thanks. 215 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,276 -or maybe I needed a little confidence-building 216 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,078 from the big man. 217 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,282 in any event, by the time we reached town, 218 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:47,919 I was back on my game again, ready for anything. 219 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,022 -why don't you pull her in Over there? 220 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,059 -yikes. 221 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,795 -go ahead. Slip her in. 222 00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:01,732 -uh...Sure. 223 00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,867 I'm on it, dad. 224 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,443 -'course, this was no time to panic. I knew that. 225 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,644 this was simple -- 226 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:16,180 just a matter of wedging 2 tons of steel 227 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,449 in a 12x4 parking space. 228 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,484 nothing to it. 229 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:25,689 nope. 230 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,992 all I had to do was think it through calmly... 231 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:30,294 rationally. 232 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:36,734 and that's when I made my fatal mistake. 233 00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:42,273 I thought about it a second too long. 234 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,441 -kev? 235 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,176 -huh? 236 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,544 -what are you waiting for? 237 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,413 -uh... 238 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,615 [ horn honks ] 239 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,850 Nothing. 240 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,556 -but as I sat there, completely paralyzed, 241 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,090 I knew one thing. 242 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,330 only a miracle was gonna get me out of this now. 243 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,865 [ horn honks ] 244 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:14,639 or...A 1970 volkswagen super beetle. 245 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,540 -what does that guy think He's doing? 246 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,175 Didn't he see the blinker? 247 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,478 Idiot shouldn't be allowed On the road. 248 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,546 -tell me about it. 249 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:23,747 -[ sighs ] 250 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,517 Well, then, just...Go around. 251 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,351 -sure, dad. 252 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,652 [ horn honks ] 253 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,155 -but even though I'd escaped this time, 254 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,957 the truth seemed clearer than ever. 255 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,326 instead of living life in the fast lane, 256 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,796 I was doomed to spend the rest of mine... 257 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,699 ...Circling the block. 258 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,342 coming of age in suburbia -- 259 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:55,780 the ritual, the ceremony, the grandeur. 260 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,184 [ horn honks ] 261 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:03,187 for anybody who could parallel-park, anyway. 262 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:12,062 with my driver's test only a few days away... 263 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,298 -hey, kevin. 264 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,268 Don't forget to put that away. 265 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,270 -yeah, yeah, yeah. 266 00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:21,605 -...It was beginning to seem 267 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:23,641 like the only wheels I'd ever be in charge of 268 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:27,077 would come with a leaf bag and a mulch attachment. 269 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:31,315 -okay, now, ease her on in. 270 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,986 And...Perfect. 271 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:39,056 -the thing was, the harder I tried, the worse things got. 272 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,759 -good, grutner. 273 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,093 -guess you could say 274 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,730 it was starting to affect my self-image. 275 00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:50,067 -that's almost everyone. 276 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,603 Your turn, bo peep. 277 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,872 [ laughs ] 278 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:57,140 [ "Mary had a little lamb" Plays ] 279 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,384 -it was clear if I was gonna pull out of this, 280 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,719 I needed to re-establish my territory, 281 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,954 assert my masculinity. 282 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,023 the question was, how? 283 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,892 -hi, kevin. 284 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,396 -hello! 285 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,565 -jessica. Hi. 286 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,999 -jessica thomas -- 287 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,935 just the kind of woman who could turn a man around. 288 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,337 -I, uh, was wondering 289 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,039 If I could borrow Your bio notes from yesterday? 290 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:32,043 -and I had something she wanted. 291 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,844 -sure. 292 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,749 So, you, uh... Busy friday night? 293 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,453 -maybe. 294 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,522 Maybe not. 295 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,691 -well, there's a dance. Want to go? 296 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,028 -I'm not big on dances. 297 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,898 -or...We could ditch it. 298 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,334 -I might have plans. 299 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,736 -cancel 'em. 300 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,708 -okay, it was a risk, but... 301 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,877 -all right. I will. 302 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,079 -bingo! 303 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,281 -so, friday, then? 304 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,850 -friday. 305 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,053 -yes. I saw the mountain, and I took it. 306 00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:19,256 -so pick me up at 8:00? You can park the car out front. 307 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,557 -park? 308 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,259 -car? 309 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,928 -and honk? 310 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,498 -oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no! 311 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,068 [ sheep bleating ] 312 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,871 [ "Mary had a little lamb" Plays ] 313 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,415 -[ sighs ] 314 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,617 I've come to take my road test. 315 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,685 Now. 316 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,421 -I'd had it. 317 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:54,658 I wasn't gonna spend the rest of my life as a shepherdess. 318 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:58,428 -take a seat. Wait your turn. 319 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,666 -okay. Be rude about it. I didn't care. 320 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,671 it was time to take the bull by the horns... 321 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,873 no matter who was watching. 322 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,275 -vogel! 323 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,177 -and the thing is, 324 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:16,913 now that I was there, I actually felt kind of calm. 325 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:18,382 -donlevy! 326 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,186 -no question about it. 327 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:26,623 from here on in, it was just a matter of time. 328 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:31,929 [ clock ticking ] 329 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,497 -eckhart! 330 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,466 [ ticking continues ] 331 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,638 Reardon! 332 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,474 -uh-huh. 333 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,576 nothing to do but wait. 334 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,311 [ ticking continues ] 335 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,879 -chang! 336 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,347 -[ clears throat ] 337 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,182 any minute now. 338 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,884 [ ticking intensifies ] 339 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,586 -burns! 340 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:59,323 -and then the wheels came off. 341 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,192 -arnold? 342 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,494 [ ticking stops, bell tolling ] 343 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:04,995 -[ breathes deeply ] 344 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,165 -now, I swear to you -- I swear I was ready. 345 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,834 to the deepest fiber in my being, 346 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:14,371 I was focussed, confident, I was -- 347 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,410 -good luck. 348 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,877 -I was out of there. 349 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:21,878 -excuse me! -hey! 350 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,747 -ow! Watch it! -careful! 351 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,383 -oh. Finished, honey? 352 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,085 -yeah. Come on. 353 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,355 -how'd it go? 354 00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:34,357 -piece of cake. 355 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,662 -you heard it. 356 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,197 [ door closes, echoes ] 357 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,033 piece of cake. 358 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,533 -congratulations, kev. 359 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:44,869 -you did it, honey. 360 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,305 -thanks, mom. Thanks, dad. 361 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:51,308 This is really...Great. 362 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,243 -but it was horrible. 363 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:58,883 I was a failure and a liar... in front of my whole family. 364 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,319 -well, let's see it, butthead. 365 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,021 -see what? 366 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,490 -the driver's license. Where is it? 367 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,592 -uh... 368 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,994 -you didn't lose it already, Did you? 369 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:12,930 -no! No! 370 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,498 I just left it 371 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,267 In my other pants -- In my other wallet. 372 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,571 Besides, it's just a temporary. 373 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,405 -I can't believe it. 374 00:17:22,407 --> 00:17:24,341 I can still remember Your father 375 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:25,576 Teaching you to ride a bike. 376 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,143 Now you're driving. 377 00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:31,181 I guess I didn't expect You kids to grow up so fast. 378 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,683 -I couldn't believe it. 379 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,852 my parents were getting spongy on me, 380 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:38,188 washing away in sentimentality. 381 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,391 so there was only one thing to say. 382 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,293 -I got to go To the bathroom. 383 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:45,629 -not...So...Fast. 384 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,867 -yeah, dad? 385 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,935 -here. 386 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,037 Your mother and I Got you something. 387 00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,975 You're gonna need these. 388 00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:02,212 It's your own set of keys To the car. 389 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,849 -ah, geez. 390 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,186 -thanks. 391 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,821 -I'm proud of you, son. 392 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,625 -yeah. 393 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,331 I couldn't get to sleep that night. 394 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,500 I kept thinking about my future -- 395 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:27,704 how I was gonna grow up, go to college, raise a family, 396 00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:30,441 and be the only all-pro quarterback 397 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,810 who ever had to ride his bicycle to the super bowl. 398 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:34,878 -I'm proud of you, son. 399 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,113 -I can't believe it. 400 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,581 -it's your own set of keys to the car. 401 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,748 -you did it, honey. 402 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,284 -the driver's license. where is it? 403 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,618 -your turn, bo peep. 404 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,454 -proud of you, son... proud of you, son... 405 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,124 [ sheep bleating ] 406 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,859 -[ breathes deeply ] 407 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,428 [ dog barks in distance ] 408 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,397 -and that's when I knew what I had to do. 409 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:02,106 like the young warrior cast out into the darkness of the jungle 410 00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,607 to prove his manhood, 411 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,809 I was going to learn how to parallel-park 412 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:09,479 the only way I knew how -- 413 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:10,514 alone. 414 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,222 -[ sighs ] this is it. 415 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,591 -sure, I was committing grand-theft auto, 416 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,526 but there was a greater need here. 417 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,495 I had to take the chance, and I had to do it now. 418 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,497 and the path was clear ahead. 419 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,634 [ metal crunches ] 420 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:31,869 [ dog barks ] 421 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,937 or so I thought. 422 00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:45,082 at that moment, I hit rock bottom. 423 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,751 I couldn't drive. I couldn't park. 424 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,888 I couldn't even remember to put away my father's lawnmower. 425 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,789 I didn't think I could feel any worse. 426 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,391 [ door opens ] 427 00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:57,194 -hey! Who's out there? 428 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,496 -except then I did. 429 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,365 the funny thing is, for a second, 430 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,002 I actually thought about running for my life. 431 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,774 -what the hell's going on here? 432 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:17,281 -but somehow I guess I knew -- I just couldn't run anymore. 433 00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,983 it was time to face the truth. 434 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:27,124 -I don't know how to park. 435 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:30,493 I lied about my license. 436 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:32,796 I never took the test. 437 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,569 [ keys jingle ] 438 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,637 Here. 439 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:48,345 Take 'em. I don't want 'em. 440 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:56,186 -and maybe in that moment, I learned something... 441 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,956 about being a man. 442 00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:03,694 -yeah, you do. 443 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,765 Come on. Let's go. 444 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,467 -where? 445 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,036 -you got to start somewhere. 446 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,010 -and I learned it... 447 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,245 from the guy who wrote the book. 448 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:27,551 [ car door opens, closes ] 449 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,952 -little bit more. 450 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,053 That's good. 451 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,656 All right. All right. All right, now. 452 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:34,324 Straighten it out, Straighten it out. 453 00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:37,394 Good! Good! All right! 454 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:40,230 -that night, my dad taught me a lot. 455 00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,769 how to parallel-park... 456 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:49,873 why you put away the lawnmower... 457 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:54,578 and, in some small way, what it takes to grow up. 458 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:57,781 that monday, he took the afternoon off, 459 00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,851 and we went and got my license. 460 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,654 he was so proud. 461 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,459 then he took it away and grounded me for a month. 33296

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