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1
00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:04,660
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,350
So, Toya..
3
00:00:06,383 --> 00:00:08,166
...did you have
fun
tonight, girl?
4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,160
Oh, I must have.
Came back to your place.
5
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:12,300
Hey, well, you know..
6
00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:14,183
Of course,
what girl can
resist
7
00:00:14,216 --> 00:00:16,166
an evening
of dinin' and
dancing?
8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,133
We took the subway downtown
and had a slice of pizza.
9
00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,233
Hey, girl,
pizza counts as
dinin'!
10
00:00:21,266 --> 00:00:23,100
And you know we were doin'
a little bit of bumpin'
11
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:25,000
and grindin' on the E train..
12
00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:26,100
[laughing]
13
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:28,300
[indistinct chatter on TV]
14
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,316
[laughing]
15
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:36,116
[laughing]
16
00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:37,233
I, uh..
17
00:00:38,316 --> 00:00:40,300
I thought
we were gonna be alone.
18
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,200
[clearing throat]
I did too. Uh..
19
00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:45,166
Marlon, what are you doin' here?
20
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,383
Shh, we're watching
"Dumb and Dumber."
21
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,383
[shouting]
22
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,830
[turns off TV]
23
00:00:53,116 --> 00:00:54,316
Hey, man, why're you trippin'?
24
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:57,660
I'm trying to get my movie on!
25
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,660
And I'm trying
to get my thing on.
26
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,250
Marlon, you know the rules.
I have a guest.
27
00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:03,830
- Shake the spot.
- Yeah, well.
28
00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,133
I have a guest too.
29
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:07,300
And we were here first.
30
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,000
- Ain't that right, peaches?
- Mm-hmm.
31
00:01:12,350 --> 00:01:15,116
[theme song]
32
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:17,250
♪ We're brothers ♪
33
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:19,116
♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪
34
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:22,116
♪ And we're colored ♪
35
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,266
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
36
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,366
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys!'
37
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,266
'Dynamite! That is..'
38
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,166
♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪
39
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,333
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
40
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:36,100
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
41
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,216
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
42
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:41,000
♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪
43
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
44
00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:45,300
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
45
00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,350
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
46
00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:49,830
♪ I got something.. ♪♪
47
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,183
[instrumental music]
48
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,133
So you are Toya!
49
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:01,250
Man, she's even finer
than you said.
50
00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:03,333
- Oh, Shawn.
- Aw, girl.
51
00:02:03,366 --> 00:02:05,830
And you're right, Shawn.
52
00:02:05,116 --> 00:02:06,333
The mug ain't all that
53
00:02:06,366 --> 00:02:09,160
but the booty is slammin'!
54
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,350
- What?
- Girl, he's just
trippin'.
55
00:02:17,183 --> 00:02:18,316
Alright, alright.
You got it.
56
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:20,283
We'll go watch the rest
of the video at Mike's house.
57
00:02:20,316 --> 00:02:21,333
- Come on, Mike.
- Yeah.
58
00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,350
These two wanna be alone.
59
00:02:23,383 --> 00:02:26,660
- I hear she's a freak.
- What?
60
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,216
Yeah, man, Shawn told me
all that he gave her
61
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,150
is a slice of pizza
and a forty, she good to
go.
62
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,233
Dig it, bro.
63
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:33,316
You be hittin' it all.
64
00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:36,830
Oh, yeah,
I'm good to go,
alright.
65
00:02:36,116 --> 00:02:37,216
Good to go home.
So long, Shawn.
66
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:38,383
Hold on, wait, wait, wait.
Come on, Toya.
67
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,830
- Oh, come on.
- You know what?
68
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,300
Do me a favor
and lose my number.
69
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:44,150
Wait, Toya, come on.
Ah, damn!
70
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:46,150
- Tsk. Too bad.
- Mm.
71
00:02:46,183 --> 00:02:48,233
- She was fine!
- Mm-hmm.
72
00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:50,183
You know what
your problem is,
Shawn?
73
00:02:50,216 --> 00:02:51,383
Yeah, I'm looking right at him.
74
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,160
That's the second girl this
week
you went off, Marlon.
75
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,200
Well, you need to get you
some girl
76
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:56,333
that ain't so sedity!
77
00:02:56,366 --> 00:02:58,216
No, I need to get
me
a little brother
78
00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,250
who knows when to shut up.
79
00:02:59,283 --> 00:03:00,266
Oh, here we go again
80
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,350
just like when we was kids.
81
00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:04,133
"Shut up, Marlon.
Get lost, Marlon.
82
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:06,366
I got company, Marlon,
go hide in the dryer."
83
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,333
And you wonder why my hair
looks like this.
84
00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:13,830
You wanna know
what it is,
Marlon?
85
00:03:13,116 --> 00:03:15,100
- What?
- You never give me any space.
86
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,366
My whole life
you've been taggin'
along.
87
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,250
Every time I turn
around,
there you are!
88
00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:21,300
Well, I got a right
to be here too! I pay rent.
89
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,166
Most of the time.
90
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,283
Hold up, y'all.
91
00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:26,350
This ain't about no dryer.
92
00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:29,660
Let me break it down for ya!
93
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:32,183
Chill out,"Milkom X." Chill.
94
00:03:32,216 --> 00:03:35,133
No, I got a need to speak
my mind here, Marlon.
95
00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:37,660
The problem, my brother
96
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,166
is you're toobougie!
97
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,200
You need to keep it real!
98
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,250
How about I put a real
foot
in your Mayberry behind?
99
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,330
You need a time out, mister.
100
00:03:51,383 --> 00:03:55,166
Come on, Mike. I think
Shawn wants his space.
101
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,330
[Marlon mumbling]
102
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:00,830
Well, good.
103
00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,216
It'll be nice to have
some peace and quiet
104
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,333
for a change.
105
00:04:02,366 --> 00:04:04,660
Well, you want peace and quiet?
106
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,266
- Yeah.
- Shh.
107
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:11,330
[door slams]
108
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:13,166
- So sorry.
- What are you doin'?
109
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:16,830
Sorry, sorry..
110
00:04:16,116 --> 00:04:18,000
[screaming]
111
00:04:18,330 --> 00:04:20,316
Get out of here! Get out
of here, get out of here.
112
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,300
[instrumental music]
113
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:29,216
Yo, Marlon, where the hell
have you been?
114
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,266
I went home for lunch.
115
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,366
I couldn't find my peanut butter
116
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,133
and ham hock sandwich.
117
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:35,250
I threw that
stinkin' thing out.
118
00:04:35,283 --> 00:04:37,150
- Shawn, how could you, man?
- Hey, look.
119
00:04:37,183 --> 00:04:39,216
You know the rules. Anything
left out gets thrown out.
120
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,283
I'm so sick of you
and these stupid
rules.
121
00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,266
Yeah? Well.
122
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,283
If you wasn't such a big baby
123
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,116
I wouldn't have to make them up.
124
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:46,300
I gotta wake you up.
125
00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:48,830
I gotta clean up after you.
126
00:04:48,116 --> 00:04:49,333
I gotta make sure
you get to work.
127
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:52,166
I gotta watch you
while you're at work.
128
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,000
So what are you tryin' to say?
129
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,830
I can't take care of myself?
130
00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:00,216
Why don't you
just think about that
131
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,366
while I deal with this customer?
132
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,830
Pig.
133
00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:06,830
- Hi, sir, can I help you?
- Yeah.
134
00:05:06,116 --> 00:05:08,366
I'm looking for that new
profile
on Bill Gates.
135
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,150
I'm not sure
what magazine it's
in.
136
00:05:10,183 --> 00:05:12,216
Oh, that will be in "Forbes."
137
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:14,150
You also might wanna
check out "Money" magazine's
138
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,300
top ten software execs.
139
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,350
Hey, you don't wanna miss
140
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,366
the "Jet's" top ten beauty
of the week.
141
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,150
Talk about some software.
142
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:22,160
[laughing]
143
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,500
Please don't pay him no mind.
144
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:25,133
He has a power surge problem.
145
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,183
Boy, do you ever quit?
146
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,000
What, I was only jokin'
with the man.
147
00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,500
And that's the problem,
man,
I'm tired of your jokes.
148
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,000
Well, I'm tired of you
not laughing.
149
00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:41,100
Come on, Shawn,
you need to relax, relate.
150
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,000
[inhaling deeply]
Release.
151
00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:45,166
And you need to grow up, man.
152
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,200
It's like living with
a kid
24 hours a day.
153
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:50,660
- Oh, so now I'm a kid.
- You're damn right!
154
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,133
And I'm sick
and tired of it,
man.
155
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,350
I can't take it anymore!
156
00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:53,383
Oh, so it's like that?
157
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,266
Yeah, it's like that.
158
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:58,330
Well, you know what, Shawn,
you ain't gotta take it no
more.
159
00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:00,116
'Cause from this point on,
I'm outta your crib
160
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,233
and I'm out of your life!
161
00:06:01,266 --> 00:06:04,330
I don't need you for nothin'!
162
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:05,233
- Peace out.
- You peace out.
163
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,300
I need nothin' from you!
164
00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:13,333
I still got my job, right?
165
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,233
(T.C.)
'Thanks for letting me hang
till mama cools off.'
166
00:06:18,266 --> 00:06:20,660
No problem, bro.
167
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:22,660
That woman
can be so unreasonable.
168
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,000
One little trip to the pawn shop
169
00:06:24,330 --> 00:06:26,216
and she locks me out.
170
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:29,660
T.C., you hawked
the lady's dentures.
171
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,233
I left her the bottoms.
172
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,150
She can still chew.
173
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:37,660
Yo, gee, what time you got?
174
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,233
[clearing throat]
175
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,100
Five to 9:00. Why?
176
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,500
Oh, are you worried
about your baby
brother?
177
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:43,300
You think he's really
gonna
move out on you?
178
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,283
Tsk. Are you crazy?
This is New York City.
179
00:06:45,316 --> 00:06:47,283
Where else is he gonna find
a place this cheap?
180
00:06:47,316 --> 00:06:49,266
Besides, that boy
is like bad plumbing.
181
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,350
- He always comes back.
- Ooh.
182
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,333
Well, hey, T.C.
183
00:06:55,366 --> 00:06:58,150
Well, well, well!
Look who's here.
184
00:06:58,183 --> 00:07:01,250
Not for long.
I just came to get my stuff.
185
00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:03,166
Oh, come on, man,
you ain't serious.
186
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,330
Now you just watch me.
187
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,200
But, Marlon,
where are you gonna go?
188
00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:08,160
Yeah, you better leave
a forwarding address
189
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,216
so I can tell pop what
cardboard
box you're livin' in.
190
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,200
Oh, ho ho ho!
191
00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:14,660
Not funny. Alright?
192
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,200
Besides, for your information
193
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:17,333
I got myself
a new roommate. Huh.
194
00:07:17,366 --> 00:07:21,660
Yeah? Who the hell is stupid
enough to live with you?
195
00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,100
I mean besides me?
196
00:07:26,183 --> 00:07:27,366
Hey, homie roomie.
197
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,383
[laughing]
198
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:32,133
You're movin' in
with White Mike?
199
00:07:32,166 --> 00:07:34,200
- Mm-hmm.
- You're ri-i-ight.
200
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,350
My crib downstairs
is plenty big enough for
two
201
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,160
and you know
I could use the extra
ca-a-ash!
202
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,200
Yeah, well, you better
make sure you have
203
00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:47,383
your half
of this month'svisit.
204
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,150
That's right,
if you're sick of me
205
00:07:49,183 --> 00:07:50,233
I know you're sick of my money.
206
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:52,160
[laughing]
207
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,333
Whoo-o-o!
You all are cold-blooded.
208
00:07:53,366 --> 00:07:57,150
I'm gonna need me
some Swiss Miss up in here.
209
00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,216
Marlon, you just remember,
the rent is due in two days.
210
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,383
Yeah, you better hurry up and
find yourself a new roommate.
211
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,500
Shoot. But, of
course,
that'll be hard
212
00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,200
you being
a control freak and
all.
213
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,216
What, what, you think you're
the only person around here
214
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:13,116
that can find
theirself
a roommate, huh?
215
00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:15,333
Huh? Well, meet my roommate.
216
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,183
T.C.
217
00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:21,166
[laughing]
218
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,133
Whoo-o! I'll give my mama
notice immediately.
219
00:08:24,166 --> 00:08:26,316
I can't wait to get
my security deposit back.
220
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:29,283
Well, my Aryan brother
221
00:08:29,316 --> 00:08:31,350
it seems like we got
some partying to do.
222
00:08:31,383 --> 00:08:32,366
Let's go.
223
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,366
A-ain't you gonna
grab all your
stuff?
224
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,100
- I got it.
- Oh.
225
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,216
You ain't borrowing
my underwear, man.
226
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,333
[Van McCoy performing"Do The Hustle" on player]
227
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:58,266
♪ Do it ♪
228
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:09,133
♪ Do the hustle ♪
229
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:10,366
♪ Do the hustle ♪
230
00:09:14,283 --> 00:09:16,200
♪ Do the hustle ♪
231
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:17,183
[whirring]
232
00:09:17,216 --> 00:09:19,216
♪ Do the hustle ♪♪
233
00:09:20,216 --> 00:09:23,166
[whirring]
234
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,100
Ooh!
235
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,660
I see you've
decided
to get up, man.
236
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,233
A little beets and wheatgrass?
237
00:09:37,283 --> 00:09:39,330
Hey, now where are you..
238
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:40,283
[T.C. mumbling]
239
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,333
One more peep out of you,
and you're next.
240
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,383
- Got it?
- Oh, yeah.
241
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,200
Good.
242
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:49,333
[alarm ringing]
243
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:52,830
[groaning]
244
00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:55,100
[alarm ringing]
245
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,266
[ringing continues]
246
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,283
[bawling]
247
00:10:29,283 --> 00:10:31,000
- Mike?
- Hm?
248
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,333
- 'White Mike.'
- Hm?
249
00:10:34,330 --> 00:10:36,660
What time did you
set the alarm for?
250
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,216
I don't know, man, the usual.
251
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:40,330
9:30, 10:00, 11:00.
252
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:41,183
Oh, man!
253
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:43,216
Now I'm late for work.
254
00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:45,166
Oh, man!
255
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,283
Hey, look at you.
256
00:10:53,316 --> 00:10:55,350
The man's got you runnin'.
257
00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:59,660
The man is my brother..
258
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:02,160
...pharaoh-leprechaun.
259
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,660
Hey, I'm hungry.
You want some breakfast?
260
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,333
Yeah, cool.
261
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:10,330
- So whatcha makin'?
- I ain't cooking!
262
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,316
I gotta get in the shower, man.
263
00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:14,216
Sorry,
homeslice,
no hot water.
264
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,166
No what?
265
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,330
Of course,
now that you're paying
rent
266
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,300
maybe we can get some of them
utilities cue back on.
267
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,233
Great, now I have
to call my brother
268
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,266
and tell him I'm gonna be late.
269
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,830
That's one of them utilities.
270
00:11:34,116 --> 00:11:36,300
Take my advice, Pops.
Stay out of it.
271
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:40,330
How can I? I got one son
living with a dolomite.
272
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,166
Another son
living with ultra
bright.
273
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,116
It's their business,
they're grown men!
274
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:50,183
Well, at least they're tall men.
275
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:53,200
Well, I don't care.
It just ain't right.
276
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,216
They're family, and
families
should stick together
277
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,160
and take care of one another.
278
00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:00,500
Family? Didn't you kick
'em out of your house?
279
00:12:01,316 --> 00:12:03,333
I don't believe you went there!
280
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,233
This ain't about me!
281
00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:14,350
Alright, boys.
We gotta talk.
282
00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:17,500
- What's up, Pops?
- Now, I know you're adults.
283
00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:18,283
You can make your own decision
284
00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:20,830
and I'm not the one to come
and get all in your business
285
00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,200
and tell you what to do.
286
00:12:21,233 --> 00:12:22,316
But you two are gonna
move back together
287
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,160
and that's the way
it's gonna be.
288
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:25,383
Oh, no, we ain't,
pop.
Forget it.
289
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,183
Uh, moving out
was the best thing I ever
did.
290
00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,000
Yeah, we should've done this
years ago.
291
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:33,660
- Mm-hmm.
- Who're you two tryin' to
fool?
292
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,250
You know you can't live apart.
293
00:12:34,283 --> 00:12:36,266
Come on, pop.
We ain't that
close.
294
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,660
Oh, no?
295
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,160
[screaming]
296
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:43,160
That don't prove nothing.
297
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,283
Now why're you two
being so stubborn?
298
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:47,316
You know you're lying
like a one-legged dog.
299
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,500
I ain't lying, pop.
300
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:51,500
For the first time in my life,
I'm really happy.
301
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:54,830
- Yeah, me too.
- Forget happiness.
302
00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:55,283
Forget it!
303
00:12:56,300 --> 00:12:58,000
Brothers should be together..
304
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:00,250
...I don't care
how miserable you are.
305
00:13:00,283 --> 00:13:02,160
Pops, you gotta butt out, man.
306
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:03,383
- We're grown men.
- That's right, pop.
307
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,150
You just simply can't
tell us
what to do no more.
308
00:13:06,183 --> 00:13:09,100
- Well...maybe you're right.
- Yeah.
309
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:11,160
- I'll just keep quiet,
huh?
- Yeah.
310
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,216
- I won't say nothing.
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,350
I'm gonna let my belt
do the talkin'!
312
00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:19,216
[groaning]
313
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:20,366
Aa-ah!
314
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:32,183
Welcome home!
315
00:13:32,216 --> 00:13:33,250
You look like Eddie Murphy in
316
00:13:33,283 --> 00:13:36,000
the "Remember The Time" video.
317
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:39,250
I told you, Wednesday
is my grooming night.
318
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:42,830
You see, the magic that is T.C.
319
00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:43,350
doesn't just happen.
320
00:13:43,383 --> 00:13:46,150
It takes work, discipline
321
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:48,300
and a whole lot of cocoa butter.
322
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,216
Well, if you
don't
mind me
askin'..
323
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,233
...when is bath night?
324
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:55,150
'Cause your underarms
are kickin'.
325
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:57,233
Smell like you got a bag
of onions in the headlock.
326
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,330
[laughing]
327
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,216
[gibberish]
328
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,300
Too much bathing
329
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,366
strips your body
of its natural oils.
330
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,183
Yeah, well, you've got
enough natural oils
331
00:14:07,216 --> 00:14:09,366
to make curly fries.
332
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,233
Oh, w-w-wait..
333
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:13,166
Hold, hold it.
Hold it. Hold
it.
334
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,300
Hold it. Is the closet broken?
335
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,100
What?
336
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:19,366
Hang the jacket up.
337
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,250
And while you're at it,
take off those wet shoes.
338
00:14:21,283 --> 00:14:23,160
I just waxed that floor.
339
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,233
When, after you waxed your legs?
340
00:14:25,266 --> 00:14:28,166
Don't hate me
because I'm smooth and silky.
341
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,216
[scoffing]
342
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,316
More like slick and slimy.
343
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:34,200
Look here, bro. It's time
to lay down some house rules.
344
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,350
Alright.
345
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,233
Rule number one.
346
00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:40,266
Body oils
must be stripped daily.
347
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,383
Okay. I have a rule.
348
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,316
[clearing throat]
349
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:47,266
No borrowing of clothes.
350
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,500
I know you had your eye
on my zebra cape.
351
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,300
[laughing]
No, actually I was clockin'
352
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,830
the monkey-skinned Speedos.
353
00:14:54,116 --> 00:14:55,333
Alright.
354
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,500
Rule number three.
355
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,183
If a roommate
wants to entertain a lady
356
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:03,116
the other roommate
must leave the premises.
357
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:05,830
[doorbell ringing]
358
00:15:05,116 --> 00:15:06,366
Bye, Shawn.
359
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,330
Come in, ladies.
360
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,216
You're just in time
to help me rinse.
361
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,660
[doorbell ringing]
362
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,133
Now who's that?
363
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:21,166
Oh, I, um, invited
a couple of people over.
364
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,660
- You know.
- Oh, come on, Mike.
365
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,266
Not tonight again!
366
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,283
- Hey.
- Hey.
367
00:15:27,366 --> 00:15:30,366
[upbeat music on stereo]
368
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,333
A couple of people, Mike?
369
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:40,200
This looks like we're shooting
"House Party 4!"
370
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:42,116
Hey, I brought
my karaoke machine.
371
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,100
- Where can I plug it in?
- Bend over and I'll show ya.
372
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:48,500
Yo, yo, yo, man.
373
00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:50,000
Why're you dissin' my guests?
374
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:51,316
You need to free your mind.
375
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,000
I need to kick your behind.
376
00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:01,250
[music continues]
377
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:28,383
- 'Yo, gee, you look beat.'
- 'Oh, me? No, no.'
378
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,283
I just partied with White Mike
last night, you know.
379
00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:34,116
Livin' the life. A-ha.
380
00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:35,383
I know exactly
what you mean, man.
381
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,000
Hey, remember that time
we threw that Super Bowl
party
382
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,133
and invited
our own cheerleaders?
383
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,150
Oh, yeah!
384
00:16:40,183 --> 00:16:41,366
[laughing]
385
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,500
- Them girls had some pom-poms.
- You know what I'm saying?
386
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,133
Boy, we scored more than
the Dallas Cowboys that night.
387
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:50,100
I know, right? Whoo!
388
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:51,116
(together)
Oh, man.
389
00:16:51,150 --> 00:16:52,233
I can't remember the last time
390
00:16:52,266 --> 00:16:53,266
I had that much fun.
391
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,100
Yeah, me neither.
392
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:56,216
Oh, of course, except for now.
393
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:57,366
You know, now I'm having a ball.
394
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,160
Oh, yeah, man. Me too.
395
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,830
Me and White Mike
are just doin' it.
396
00:17:01,116 --> 00:17:02,166
I hear that.
397
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,660
I know exactly
what you mean, man.
398
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,233
Last night T.C. brought
399
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:07,183
a couple of little honey
dips
over to the crib.
400
00:17:07,216 --> 00:17:09,183
Oh, so you're tryin' to get
you
a little bit of action, huh?
401
00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:11,366
Well, hey, hey, hey. You
know,
I'm not gonna brag, bro.
402
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,500
But let's just say
403
00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:15,300
somebody was knockin'
some boots.
404
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:16,366
That's probably T.C.
405
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,233
[laughing]
406
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,100
Yo, what's up, roomie?
What's happening, kid?
407
00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:26,500
- Yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
408
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,133
Can I have a word with you?
409
00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:29,233
Yeah, of course, I mean
410
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:31,160
if you can't talk
to your roommate..
411
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,183
[chuckling]
...who else can you talk to?
412
00:17:33,216 --> 00:17:36,500
His parole officer.
413
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,183
Now why you wanna bring
Murray into this?
414
00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:41,830
[scoffing]
Forget that, man.
What's up, T.C.?
415
00:17:41,116 --> 00:17:43,100
[gibberish]
416
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:46,330
Hey, you don't mess
with the corns,
brother.
417
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:47,250
Oh, my bad, my bad.
418
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:50,830
Let's not talk here, alright?
419
00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:52,183
Oh, I get it.
420
00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:53,350
Bid'ness.
421
00:17:53,383 --> 00:17:56,333
Alright. Well,
we could talk in the diner.
422
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,830
So what's happening, kid?
423
00:17:58,116 --> 00:17:59,266
Hey, you got some
yesterday or what?
424
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,216
- 'What happened last night?'
- 'Nothing.'
425
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:03,000
(Shawn)
'Come on, hey.'
426
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:05,233
- Yo, Marlon?
- Hey, what's up, White Mike?
427
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:08,166
My man! What's up, man?
428
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,266
Some party last night, huh?
429
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,266
Oh, yeah. Let me see.
430
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:14,000
Someone stole my CD,
I woke up to see
431
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:16,316
two bums doing the
butterfly
on the fire escape.
432
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:20,160
And to top it all off,
someone puked in my shoes.
433
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,316
Lucky thing I borrowed
them things from Shawn.
434
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:26,300
But, hey, Mike,
it's all good,
homie.
435
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:29,830
Actually, man,
ain't none of it good.
436
00:18:29,116 --> 00:18:31,100
It's what I came
to talk to you about.
437
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,166
What's up?
438
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,660
It's about this
whole roommate thing, man.
439
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,830
It's-it's whack!
440
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,250
What'd you mean "It's whack?"
441
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:40,000
Well, whack means
that it's not good--
442
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,330
I know what whack means, fool.
443
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:45,283
So what are you,
what are you tryin' to
say?
444
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:47,333
That you don't wanna
be
my roommate no more?
445
00:18:47,366 --> 00:18:51,830
I, I just need a roommate
that knows how to party, man.
446
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,100
You know what I'm saying?
447
00:18:54,183 --> 00:18:56,330
Lemme get this straight.
448
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,250
You don't wanna live with me?
449
00:18:58,283 --> 00:19:00,133
Well, I'm sorry, man.
450
00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:03,160
This morning was the last straw.
451
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,500
And what happened this morning?
452
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,116
Don't act like you don't know.
453
00:19:08,266 --> 00:19:10,350
What? The glass, Shawn.
454
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,283
The glass!
455
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:14,660
- What glass?
- 'What glass?'
456
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,500
The-the one you left out
on the coffee table
457
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:19,283
all night after I had waxed it.
458
00:19:19,316 --> 00:19:21,166
You didn't even
put a coaster underneath it
459
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,183
not even a napkin,
Shawn, nothin'!
460
00:19:24,216 --> 00:19:27,216
Now, I am sorry,
but I can't live like that.
461
00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:31,166
So are we cool, bro?
462
00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:34,300
- Yeah, we're cool.
- Alright.
463
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,166
Hey, Mike.
464
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,830
You sure this ain't got
nothing
to do with that O.J. verdict?
465
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,366
Look, man, there's a party
at my place tonight.
466
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,200
Take a flyer.
467
00:19:45,383 --> 00:19:48,100
It's all good..
468
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,200
...again.
469
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:53,300
Yo, what'd Mike want?
470
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,250
Uh, he just wanted to tell
me
about this party.
471
00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:58,133
Shawn, can I be honest with you?
472
00:19:58,166 --> 00:20:00,000
What's up, kid?
473
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,166
I don't wanna live
with White Mike no more,
man.
474
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,200
- You don't?
- Yeah, man, he's too wild.
475
00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:06,660
- I gotta get outta there.
- Well, look, kid.
476
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,000
If it's that bad,
I mean you're always welcome
477
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,100
to come back home with me.
478
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:12,100
Word? What about you and T.C.?
479
00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,133
Well, forget that.
You're my brother, man.
480
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:16,183
Family looks after family.
481
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,250
I'll just kick T.C. out.
482
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,183
So your roommate
dumped you too, huh?
483
00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:24,383
Uh, yeah!
484
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,366
- Can you believe that?
- Yeah, I can believe it.
485
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,830
I used to live with
you,
remember?
486
00:20:28,116 --> 00:20:31,100
Alright, don't go in there.
487
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,250
Well, it looks like we're
stuck
with each other, baby.
488
00:20:33,283 --> 00:20:35,500
I guess so.
489
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,250
So you're not gonna mind me
being around you all the time?
490
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:42,133
Nah, actually I kinda miss
hangin' out with you.
491
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:45,330
Really? Even though
I embarrass you?
492
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,300
Aw, gee, you don't
embarrass me, man.
493
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,830
[burping
]
Really?
494
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,233
Alright, sometimes.
495
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:54,160
But the point is..
496
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,316
...you're cool,
you're my little brother
497
00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:57,216
and I love you.
498
00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:05,316
- I love you too.
- Come on, man.
499
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,250
Alright, man, come on,
we got some movin' to do.
500
00:21:09,283 --> 00:21:11,000
You smell like
a delicate custard.
501
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:12,166
[burping]
502
00:21:15,266 --> 00:21:18,330
- Hey, Shawn?
- What's up?
503
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:19,300
About them shoes
I borrowed from you.
504
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:20,350
Yeah?
505
00:21:20,383 --> 00:21:23,000
They ain't gonna smell the same.
506
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,160
Nice work, boys.
507
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:29,000
They fell for it,
hook, line and
sinker.
508
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,116
Here you go.
509
00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:32,660
[all laughing]
510
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,350
I paid my, paid my
debts.
There you go.
511
00:21:33,383 --> 00:21:35,283
Uh, b-b-but you-you said
512
00:21:35,316 --> 00:21:38,330
we were gonna get $50.
513
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:40,133
No, I said
you were gonna split a 50.
514
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,133
Oh, you buggin', old man!
515
00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:45,500
I wants my paper.
516
00:21:46,333 --> 00:21:49,100
Well, how about y'all
split 50 of these?
517
00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,150
Just another half hour,
I'm tired.
518
00:22:00,183 --> 00:22:02,366
Okay, fine. Go back to sleep.
519
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,330
I'll tuck you in. Okay?
520
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,183
- Thank you, bro.
- Yeah.
521
00:22:08,216 --> 00:22:11,000
Now you look
like a ghetto burrito.
522
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,150
(Marlon)
'Hey! Hey, knock it out!'
523
00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:23,166
[Marlon screaming]
524
00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:26,830
Sleep tight.
525
00:22:27,366 --> 00:22:29,316
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.
37023
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