All language subtitles for The Wayans Bros S02E01 Shawn Takes a New Stand 1080p WEB-DL DD2 0 H 264-squalorAVC_track3_[eng]

[instrumental music]

Hey, Shawn,
what's the
difference

between Michael Jackson

and Casper the Friendly Ghost?

What?

One is white,
scares little
children

and then he disappears.

And the other one
is just a ghost.

[laughs]

Whaa!

Boo! Ha ha.

You know, Michael Jackson.

Hah! Tah! Tah!

Tah tah!

[screams]

Oh, forget it, pops.
It's worse than I
thought.

He's just mad
'cause he got laid
off.

Go ahead, mighty mouth.

Why don't you say it
a little bit louder?

A couple of people in the
lobby
didn't hear you.

- What's up, Lou?
- Hey, Shawn.

I heard you got laid off.

Tough luck, kid.

Marlon, what'd you do? Tell the
whole building I got laid off?

Me?

Hey, my deepest condolences
on getting fired, man.

So he's the one
that got the
boot?

Hm.

- Pops and his big mouth.
- Yeah. pops and his big
mouth.

Hey, Cliff, you mind
if I check out the want ads?

Fifty cents, deadbeat.

That's what's wrong
with you Williams' kids.

Looking for a handout,
always something for nothing.

I remember when you
two wild brats

used to run around
on this lobby floor

and I said then you'd amount
to no good, and I was right.

- If you ask me--
- Nobody's asking...Shamu.

And for the record,
this deadbeat been
working

since he was 16 years old.

And by the end of the
day,
I'll be working again.

I won't hold my breath.

Why not? You'll make so many
people so much happier.

Marlon, check it out.

Look at this picture
of the lady that got
mugged

around the corner.

Damn! She look messed up.

No. That's Chelsea Clinton.

I'm talking about the other one.

Poor thing was robbed
in broad daylight

while 15 people stood
around doing nothin'.

Mm, that's a damn shame.

You see, that's what's
wrong with this city.

People get mugged
and nobody cares.

Right on, brother.

Brother gets laid off,
nobody cares.

A guy can't get a girl,
nobody cares.

See, the problem is,
it's a selfish world

and everybody's looking out
fornumero uno.

I'm not talking about
a fine girl, j-just a female.

I mean, she could be mentally
challenged. I don't care.

I mean, why can't we open
our eyes to the world around
us?

I mean, if somebody's hurt
or in pain

why can't we lend them
a helping hand, huh?

♪ Reach out and touch ♪

♪ Somebody's hand ♪

Sing it, crustache.

It's up to each and everyone
of us to make a difference.

♪ Make this world
a better place if you can ♪

Will you stop?

♪ In the name of love ♪

♪ Before you break.. ♪♪

Cut it out.

What I'm trying to say here,
people

is we have the power
to change the world.

And it starts right here
in this lobby.

Look around you. See if you see
somebody in need?

I'm not even asking
for a fancy schmancy

office building
with a beautiful secretary.

It'd be nice.

Shawn, it's Cliff, man!

Oh, my God!

- What happened?
- I don't know!

I think his water broke!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1)
'Alright. Cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That is--'

♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Okay, break it up!

Show's over. The man died.

You've all got lives
even if he doesn't.

Move it.

Well, pop..

...I've never seen
nobody die before.

I mean...one minute
the guy was here

and the next minute,
he was just gone.

Son, there are things
in this world no man can
avoid.

Death, taxes, and the Jehovah's
Witnesses knocking on your door.

Nobody's gonna miss old Cliff.

I think he was
the meanest man
alive.

Now he's dead!

[sobbing]

Hold it, sticky fingers!

Those papers are 50 cents each.

So there was no one
there
to take the money.

Shawn, take the thief's money.

That's ten
papers.
That'll be $5.

Hey, I didn't kill the guy.
What are you looking at me
for?

'Cause I've never seen a
squirrel lie so still
before.

You might wanna tuck
the feet in.

It's just what Cliff
would have said.

Come on, son, you can go through
your five stages of grief

while you wash the dishes.

Freeze, mister!
I got you covered.

I know you got take-out menus
in there somewhere

'cause every time
you make a delivery

you toss them
on my lobby floor!

I will not stand for litter.

Not in my lobby,
not on my watch!

You got that?

Okay, you're clean.
Get movin'.

Okay, smart guy

there's only one way down,
and I'm waiting!

If I were not already
a lucrative locksmith

I'd buy this newsstand
faster than you can fry a
goat.

Well, seriously,
you really think

this newsstand
is a good investment?

Are you kidding me?
This is a prime location.

Much street
traffic,
very low
overhead.

I'm telling you, Shawn,
we are looking at one
big

fat cow of cash.

Oh!

He was talking about
the newsstand, not you.

[upbeat music]

(Shawn)
'I'm telling you, pop,
this newsstand's'

'gonna be a gold mine.'

But, son, running a small
business is hard work.

I mean,hard

Day, night. Night, day.

- Right, pops.
- Are you sure you're up for
it?

Of course, I am. I wanna make
my mark on the world.

Yeah, not just in the snow.

Look, pops, ever
since
I was a little kid

I always had a dream
of-of-of being
somebody

of making something of myself

and-and this newsstand
could be my first step.

Son, you are
a chip off the old
block.

Did I ever tell you boys
how I got started at the
diner?

- Yes, pop.
- Yes, pop!

Oh, back in 1965..

[blender whirring]

[no audio]

[whirring continues]

[no audio]

[blender stops]

Now drink that before
I frappe your face.

So, pops, so back
to my business proposal.

- What do you think?
- It does make sense, son.

And with the restaurant
next door

I can stop by, give advice,
keep you on track.

No, no, no, pops,
you stay in the
restaurant.

I wanna run this
business by
myself.

Well, you better get
your three grand by yourself.

Take my money, take my mouth.

On second thought,
a man with your
experience

would be a asset
to my business.

It's a deal.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is phat.

I mean, Shawn has his newsstand

and pop, who knows what
I'm gonna do with my 3000.

[chuckles]

- Your 3000?
- Yeah!

- Where you gonna get $3000?
- From you.

I mean, you gave it to Shawn.
You've gotta give it to me.

Why?

Because we're brothers.

Well, so are Tito and Jermaine,
but I'm not giving them $3000.

- But, pop--
- No buts.

Shawn came to me
like a businessman with a
plan.

He's got a dream.
I believe in a man with a
dream.

- Well, I got a dream too.
- And what is your dream?

That pop's gonna
give me $3000.

Well, you better wake
your little narrow butt up

'cause I'm not gonna
give you a dime.

[Shawn laughs]

Oh, come on, pop. See.

Just a minute.
You like Shawn better.

This ain't got nothin' to do
with me liking Shawn better.

Pop's right even though he does.

You see, pop, it's just like
that time when we was kids

and Shawn stole
that leather jacket

and you blamed me for it.

When?

You know, that time
you lost your job again

and Thelma made
that lumpy oatmeal.

- Marlon, Marlon! Hey! Hey!
Hey!
- What?

That wasn't us. That was
the old episode of "Good
Times."

Oh.

My bad.

Hey, pops, we better get out
of here before the bank
closes.

I'm right behind you,
partner.

- Oh, I like the sound of
that.
- Me too.

- Partner. Paper.
- Paper.

- Ooh.
- Paper, it rhyme.

- Paper.
- Partner.

- Paper.
- Paper.

- Paper. Partner.
- Paper. Partner.

Oh, phooey!
Who needs your stupid money?

I got brains
and plenty of them too.

I'm gonna be somebody!
You'll see.

One day, success will be
written all over this face.

[instrumental music]

Hey, look who's
open for
business.

Hey, Shawn, me and Reggie

got you a little
welcome-to-the-lobby gift.

For me?
Oh, guys.

Aw, this is..

This is just..

What is it?

It's a roach motel.

We're open to the street.

A person can stomp
only so many times a day.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you very much.

Every time I think
of a roach on his back

with his feet kicking,
I'll think of you guys.

Thanks very much, sir.
Come again.

Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you.

Come again and again, please.

Come on, man.
See, I could do that.

Come on, man.
Let me work here with you.

You need me.
I'm a people's person.

Hey! Who do you have to know
to get a refill?

Oh, chill, Moms Mabley,
I'm talking to my brother.

Just what you need.
Some more caffeine.

You see what I'm saying?

Come on, man, let me work here
with you, Shawn.

Pop don't respect me.

Look, Marlon,
I'm sure you'd be
great

but pops really
needs
you at the diner.

Marlon!

And I think he
needs
you right now.

Get your skinny butt
back to work

before I make it
a whole lot skinnier.

- Whole lot skinnier.
- Shut up. It ain't funny.

- What?
- Tired of you yelling at
me.

- You're tired?
- I'm tired.

I got something else
you're probably tired
of.

- Alright.
- Bring your butt back here.

[indistinct shouting]

Come over here, man.

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Are you okay?

Yep. I'm fine.
Never felt better.

- I just quit.
- You quit?

Yup. That's right, I'm through.

No more taking orders,
no more being on time

no more hard work.

From now on, I'm all yours..

...boss.

[upbeat music]

Hey, what's up, kid?

Shawn, I gotta tell you, man.
I really dig this job.

I mean, it's so
stimulating to your
brain.

I feel so much smarter already.

Damn. Is this what they
mean
by Silicon Valley?

Will you put that away
before you go blind?

We got a lot of work to do, man.

- Now, you have any questions?
- Yeah.

- When's my break?
- Are you crazy?

You ain't getting no break.
We got a lot of work to do.

Look, we gotta
re-stock the
shelves.

We got inventory. We got
balancing the cash
register.

We got taking
care
of customer's..

...legs.

No, those aren't just legs.
Those arelegs.

Yeah, why don't
you
use yourlegs

to go re-stock
that magazine
shelf?

Oh, okay.

My head is
pounding.
I need aspirin.

I'm sorry, baby.
I don't sell aspirin.

As if I'd be dense enough
to purchase

pharmaceuticals
at a newsstand.

Let me explain myself.

I am not a customer.

I am in pain.
This is a cry for help.

[scoffs]
Well, let me explain myself.

This is a newsstand,
not the free clinic.

Fine. Since you cannot
give me any aspirin

can you at least give
me
change for the phone?

Sure.

Oh, ho-ho, I get it.
Another cry for help.

[chuckles]

It's not like I'm begging.

I am good for it.
Just look at these shoes.

You borrowed those too?

Damn, kid, she's a dime.
What did she say?

She said,
"Give me a damn quarter,
boy."

She let you give her a quarter?

Mr. Arnovitz, there's no need
to take that tone.

You will have this month's rent.

Well, I've just landed
the most fabulous position

at a very prestigious law firm.

And I'm Marla Maples Trump.

So, if you'll kindly
unchain your pitbull

from my front door, we can
all get on with our lives.

Well, certainly my word

is just as good as
a cashier's check.

Hello? Hello?

Did you really think he'd
buy
that fabulous job crock?

Do you always eavesdrop
on private conversations?

Why do you think
I'm next to the phone?

And what is this?

My personal IOU
for the quarter.

"Monique Lattimore?"
Lattimore.

Why does that name
sound so familiar?

- Does it?
- I know what I'm thinking
of.

I'm thinking of that
weasel guy, Manfred Lattimore.

You know that dude who got
busted for embezzling
millions.

He was convicted
on a technicality.

The system couldn't handle
a black man with power

so they threw him
behind bars..

...and froze all his assets.

Now, why is she all choked up

about a jailbird
with a frozen ass?

My guess is
that jailbird is her
father.

Yeah,
but how'd his booty get cold?

Hey, girl.

Hey, I don't sell aspirin,
but I do have Kleenex.

Take one.
It's on the house.

I don't usually
make it a habit

of falling apart
in front of
strangers.

Well, do you mind
undressing
in front of them?

I'm gonna go clean the counter.

Well, I'm Shawn,
no longer a stranger.

Feel free to fall apart.

That job interview..

...just like all the rest.

The minute they see
the name Lattimore

it's thank you,
and goodbye, Sally.

Well, did you tell them
your father was innocent?

Why?
The man's guilty as
sin.

And now, I'm broke..

...and no one will hire me.

Oh, don't cry. Don't cry.

I know what it's like
to be out of work.

Hey, I got an idea.

I heard they need a salesgirl
down at the card shop.

Excuse me?

I did not attend
the finest prep schools

on the East Coast
to become a...salesgirl.

I can't believe
they made me wear this smock

as if selling Garfield cards
wasn't humiliating enough.

Very nice shoes
you've got there, miss.

- Ferragamos?
- Why, yes.

Unfortunately,
they're last
season's.

Gee, maybe Imelda Marcos
has formed a support group.

Would you like, perhaps,
a nice genuine leather bag

to go with them shoes?

For you, only 14.95.

For Anne Klein?

Just about..

...Anneclone.

Monique, uh,
Reggie has, like, a
little

retail business on the side.

If it's been knocked off,
ripped off

or fell off a truck,
Reggie's got it.

Oh, wait, perhaps,
you'd like Bolex watches--

- Well, I already have them.
- Obsessa perfume.

- I don't wear it.
- Oh, no, no, no.

You've heard of Nikes?

I have..

...Likeys.

They're justLikey

- I think not.
- Oh, wait.

I haveGuess Who

I haveLouis Futon

You ever get stuck in the
airport, it makes into a
bed.

No, no, wait.

Am I crazy or was Monique

checking me out
through that diner window?

(all)
You're crazy.

Completely out
of your mind.

[upbeat music]

Son, I-I'm not so sure
I want my $3000 investment

put in Marlon's hands.

Relax, pops.
He'll catch
on.

[laughs]
Yes.

Unless you want him back
at the diner with you.

You're right.
Yeah, he'll catch on.

Yeah. I thought so.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you sell, like..

...magazines?

[chuckles]
Like, I think we do.

Okay, do you, like, have the
one
with that lady on the cover?

You know, the famous one?

Like, I think,
I'm all sold out right now.

- Bummer.
- Totally.

Hey, what are you doing?

You ain't supposed to be
treating customers like that.

You're supposed
to be friendly to 'em.

Sell them something.
Sell more paper.

Look, man, the only kind
of paper that girl wants

is the kind that roll
between your fingers,
alright?

Know what? I don't trust you.
Gonna stick around for a
while.

Oh, come on, man.
Shake the spot!

I don't need you
breathing down my neck.

Come on, man.
I'll do better without
you.

- You sure?
- Yes. Go.

Alright. Watch.

Hey, good afternoon, sir.

Step right up.
Don't be shy.

'What can I help you
with today, sir?'

- Give me the money.
- The money, the money..

You know what? We're all sold
out of "The Money Magazine"

but we do have "Business Week"
and the "Wall Street Journal."

Open the cash drawer, moron
and give me the money.

- I got a gun.
- Oh, man, look.

I'm new at this, man. Why don't
you just wait now and come back?

My brother will be here.
He's a much better victim.

Give me the money, stupid.

Okay, okay, um..

- Damn.
- Come on. Come on. Come on.

Why is it always
the last button you push?

Hurry up.

Now, would you like small
or large denominations, sir?

I want it all, stupid.

Oh, a cop. Damn it.

Hey, whoa, whoa, I don't do
that
on the first date.

One slip and
you'll
never date again.

Okay, just don't tell nobody,
alright?

How's it going, Marlon?

Fine! Fine.

Marlon, do you carry
"International
Vogue?"

Um, "International Vogue?"

You know what?
We're all sold out right now.

Try the newsstand
on 6th Street

right next to
the police station.

Or try right there
on the third shelf.

[chuckles]
I was here before, right?

- No.
- Oh. Okay.

Sorry.
Smallest I have is a
20.

You know what? Just keep it.
It-it's on the house.

As a matter of fact,
everything is on the house.

Everything is free!

(Marlon)
'Today's special,
everything free!'

I see you, slime bucket!

Turn around,
put your hands in the air!

He's got a gun!

[all screaming]

And all our money!
Get him, Marlon!

Freeze!

Not you. Him!

Get him. Get him, Marlon.
Get him!

Get the gun. Get the gun.

Get the gun. Get the gun.

Get the gun.

[groans]

Tag. You're it.

- Nice work, guys.
- He's all yours, Lou.

Boys. Boys!

Is everything alright?

(both)
Yes, pops.

Marlon, after today,
I think it's best you come

and work in the diner with me.

No way, pops. Marlon showed me
he could really handle himself.

Yeah, for a minute,
I didn't think I'd be

able tohandle

From now on,
I want my little
brother

back at the newsstand with me.

And I want my little boy
back at the diner with me.

- But I want him back with me.
- My baby, my boy.

Hey, hey, hey!
Boys, boys, boys, boys.

You don't have to fight
about it.

Okay, we'll let Marlon decide.

[sighs]
Pop, I love you

but I don't think Shawn
could do it by himself.

Excuse me, Marlon,
I know the robbery is
over

but I can still have
these
for free, can't I?

Mm-hmm.

On second thought,
we can share him.

You take him first.

You take him
for the first three months.

Oh, no, no, no.
He's all yours.

Don't be so kind.

(Marlon)
'Hey, Shawn, man,
I still say we gotta
reconsider'

this newsstand thing, man.

We made $24 profit.

- Twenty four dollars?
- Yeah.

We're rich! Ha ha!

Yes, baby!

Alright, let's go
put it in the bank

so we can collect some interest.

Shawn, we are gonna get paid!

Look out, New York,
here we come!

[knocking]

- Had to get my jacket.
- Oh, yeah, thanks.

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon, say cheese!