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1
00:00:12,927 --> 00:00:15,546
Doug, looking at your
watch every 30 seconds
2
00:00:15,614 --> 00:00:18,849
is not gonna make the
Chinese food come any faster.
3
00:00:22,053 --> 00:00:24,471
You hate that
that just rang, don't you?
4
00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:29,894
Oh!
5
00:00:29,962 --> 00:00:31,562
You could not smell better.
6
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,430
All right, what's the damage?
7
00:00:33,498 --> 00:00:34,666
24.50.
8
00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:37,201
All right.
9
00:00:37,269 --> 00:00:38,569
Carrie, can you
get your purse?
10
00:00:38,636 --> 00:00:39,670
'Cause I'm out of cash.
11
00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:40,721
I don't have any cash.
12
00:00:40,789 --> 00:00:41,989
I thought you went to the ATM.
13
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:43,958
I thought you went to the ATM.
14
00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:45,292
You, uh, take credit cards?
15
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,411
No. This is not happening.
16
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,380
All right, you stay there.
17
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:51,182
Don't take her away.
18
00:00:54,486 --> 00:00:56,387
Uh, what are you doing?
19
00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:57,688
I'm lookin' for money.
20
00:00:57,756 --> 00:01:00,458
When was the last time you
dropped 24.50 under the cushions?
21
00:01:00,525 --> 00:01:02,994
When is the last time you
got off your ass and helped?
22
00:01:05,264 --> 00:01:07,097
Maybe he'll take
something else,
23
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:08,366
like a trade or something.
24
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:10,484
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
25
00:01:10,552 --> 00:01:11,619
All right.
26
00:01:19,661 --> 00:01:21,862
What are you doing?
27
00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:23,330
Don't you worry
what I'm doing.
28
00:01:23,398 --> 00:01:25,066
You just get the forks.
29
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,717
Maybe you pay me next time.
30
00:01:26,785 --> 00:01:29,854
Oh. OK.
31
00:01:32,524 --> 00:01:33,691
Thanks.
32
00:01:39,581 --> 00:01:42,283
I knew Chinese food
way before I knew you.
33
00:02:23,525 --> 00:02:25,542
Doug, did you notice
that we have
34
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:28,045
4 bottles of shampoo in the
shower that are all empty?
35
00:02:28,113 --> 00:02:30,047
Yeah, I saw that.
36
00:02:30,115 --> 00:02:33,117
If you saw that, how come
you didn't throw them away?
37
00:02:33,184 --> 00:02:35,264
Uh, 'cause I wanted to give
you the chance to see 'em
38
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,121
so we could have
this fun conversation.
39
00:02:37,188 --> 00:02:39,006
Just take them
to the recycler, OK?
40
00:02:39,074 --> 00:02:42,142
Take the garbage out, too.
41
00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:44,578
I got a sharp pain
in my side this morning.
42
00:02:48,149 --> 00:02:50,784
OK, Doug, do you really
want to play this card
43
00:02:50,853 --> 00:02:53,587
to get out of a 4-foot walk
to the garbage can?
44
00:02:53,655 --> 00:02:55,423
'Cause there's
a cat show coming up--
45
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:56,824
OK! All right!
46
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:05,433
Ahhh, it's hurting.
47
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,269
I'm feelin' it.
I'm feelin' it.
48
00:03:08,337 --> 00:03:09,337
Uh-huh.
49
00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:15,710
Oh, God!
50
00:03:18,813 --> 00:03:21,349
OK, Doug, lying in garbage,
51
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:22,850
that's real mature.
52
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:25,286
Oh, I like the tuna can hat.
53
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:26,754
That's a good look.
54
00:03:26,821 --> 00:03:28,806
Now get up, Doug.
55
00:03:29,908 --> 00:03:32,760
Doug?
56
00:03:37,398 --> 00:03:39,383
Dr. Garcia,
how is he?
57
00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:41,519
He's gonna be fine.
58
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:43,066
Luckily his appendix
hadn't burst yet,
59
00:03:43,134 --> 00:03:44,334
and we got it out
just in time.
60
00:03:44,402 --> 00:03:45,456
Oh, thank God.
61
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:46,657
Listen, he wanted me
62
00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:48,045
to bring it home
for him in a jar.
63
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:49,760
If that's a problem,
64
00:03:49,828 --> 00:03:51,268
you could just put
a radish in there.
65
00:03:51,293 --> 00:03:52,596
He won't know the difference.
66
00:03:52,664 --> 00:03:54,664
Anyway, I'm just gonna
need him back here next week
67
00:03:54,689 --> 00:03:55,866
to take the stitches out.
68
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:57,434
OK. Can I see him?
69
00:03:57,502 --> 00:03:58,822
Sure. He's probably
still sleeping
70
00:03:58,890 --> 00:03:59,857
the anesthesia off.
71
00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:02,272
If you need anything,
just buzz Candace.
72
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,974
OK. Thank you.
73
00:04:07,145 --> 00:04:08,379
Doug?
74
00:04:08,446 --> 00:04:09,796
Sweetie?
75
00:04:15,236 --> 00:04:18,605
The doctor said you're
gonna be fine, honey.
76
00:04:18,673 --> 00:04:20,657
Ohh.
77
00:04:20,725 --> 00:04:22,509
I feel awful about this.
78
00:04:22,577 --> 00:04:25,379
I know I should
have believed you
79
00:04:25,446 --> 00:04:26,646
when you said
you were in pain.
80
00:04:26,648 --> 00:04:29,883
It's just that...
You lie to me so much.
81
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,556
Will you ever forgive me?
82
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,191
Yeah...
83
00:04:37,258 --> 00:04:39,493
Candace.
84
00:04:39,561 --> 00:04:41,011
Candace the nurse?
85
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:42,799
Honey, you want me
to get the nurse for you?
86
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,908
So hot, Candace.
87
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,817
Doug, it's Carrie.
88
00:04:47,885 --> 00:04:49,069
Laura...
89
00:04:51,056 --> 00:04:53,607
That's good, Inez.
90
00:04:53,675 --> 00:04:55,809
That tickles.
91
00:04:58,613 --> 00:05:00,531
Aw, come on, Jenna.
92
00:05:03,351 --> 00:05:05,418
Yeah...
93
00:05:05,486 --> 00:05:07,421
That's it, Car...
94
00:05:07,472 --> 00:05:10,074
Come on, Car...
95
00:05:11,142 --> 00:05:12,710
...roline.
96
00:05:15,063 --> 00:05:16,430
OK.
97
00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,770
Carrie!
98
00:05:25,373 --> 00:05:27,174
Carrie, is lunch ready?!
99
00:05:27,242 --> 00:05:28,976
Sure, you know my name
100
00:05:29,044 --> 00:05:30,477
when you want food.
101
00:05:34,182 --> 00:05:34,931
Oh, hi.
102
00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:36,299
Hi.
103
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,918
This band-aid's
been itching me.
104
00:05:37,986 --> 00:05:39,186
Let me get that for ya.
105
00:05:39,254 --> 00:05:40,287
Ow!
106
00:05:40,355 --> 00:05:41,621
What are you doin?!
107
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,969
Well, you were
just pickin' at it
108
00:05:43,036 --> 00:05:44,053
like a little girl, OK?
109
00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:45,225
It was annoying.
110
00:05:45,293 --> 00:05:46,653
You've been snapping
at me all day.
111
00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:47,311
What's up?
112
00:05:47,378 --> 00:05:49,980
Why don't you ask Inez
what's up?
113
00:05:51,132 --> 00:05:53,967
Inez? You mean the girl
from lenscrafters?
114
00:05:54,035 --> 00:05:56,503
You tell me.
115
00:05:56,571 --> 00:05:58,188
What are you talking about?
116
00:05:58,256 --> 00:06:00,774
OK. Well, while you were in
the hospital after the surgery,
117
00:06:00,842 --> 00:06:03,610
when you were sleeping, you were
moaning all these girls' names.
118
00:06:03,678 --> 00:06:04,945
What?
Yeah.
119
00:06:05,013 --> 00:06:06,363
"Oh, Candace!
120
00:06:06,431 --> 00:06:08,064
"Oh, Inez!
121
00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:09,767
Ooh, Tanya."
122
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,652
Sickening.
123
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,787
No, those weren't girls.
124
00:06:13,955 --> 00:06:16,590
I was having a dream
where I was helping someone
125
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:19,076
name a litter of puppies.
126
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:23,897
Oh.
127
00:06:26,984 --> 00:06:30,187
Well, apparently 2 puppies
named Britney and Christina
128
00:06:30,254 --> 00:06:33,090
were making out with you
in a limo.
129
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:37,244
That's 'cause I had treats
in my pocket.
130
00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:48,856
I- fine. Look,
131
00:06:48,923 --> 00:06:50,643
maybe I was having
some kind of crazy dream,
132
00:06:50,668 --> 00:06:52,542
but you-you know
I love you!
133
00:06:52,677 --> 00:06:54,244
You know I'm totally
attracted to you.
134
00:06:54,312 --> 00:06:56,580
It's just, like any guy,
135
00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,916
once in a while a...
136
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,218
Image of another woman
just pops into my head,
137
00:07:01,286 --> 00:07:02,686
for, like, a second!
138
00:07:02,888 --> 00:07:06,240
But you're m'lady.
You're m'hon-ay.
139
00:07:06,307 --> 00:07:07,358
Oh, that's funny,
140
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,761
'cause your hon-ay's
name didn't come up.
141
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:13,581
Yeah. There was a car...
142
00:07:13,598 --> 00:07:14,715
Roline...
143
00:07:14,783 --> 00:07:17,017
And, uh, a car...
144
00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:18,602
Washgirl,
145
00:07:18,736 --> 00:07:20,621
but no "Carrie."
146
00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:24,007
That's 'cause I don't need
to fantasize about you, OK?
147
00:07:24,075 --> 00:07:25,493
You're the living fantasy
148
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,720
that I'm honored
to share my--
149
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,044
oh, would you shut up?
150
00:07:28,112 --> 00:07:30,864
Look, I know it's
normal, OK? But, I mean,
151
00:07:30,932 --> 00:07:33,092
there I was in the hospital
room feeling sorry for you,
152
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,200
and the next thing I know,
153
00:07:34,225 --> 00:07:35,786
you're fantasizing
about cheating on me
154
00:07:35,854 --> 00:07:37,520
with all these skanks!
155
00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:38,989
It hurts!
156
00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,307
I wasn't cheating, OK?
157
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:42,042
Doug, we're married, OK?
158
00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:44,861
I'm your wife, and you're doing
stuff in your head with them.
159
00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:46,680
How is that not cheating?
160
00:07:46,748 --> 00:07:49,550
It's just not.
How?
161
00:07:49,617 --> 00:07:51,051
You're not...
162
00:07:51,119 --> 00:07:52,269
There.
163
00:07:52,336 --> 00:07:53,936
I'm not there. What,
I'm not in the room?
164
00:07:53,961 --> 00:07:55,789
I'm not in the country, what?
165
00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,925
You're not...
166
00:07:57,992 --> 00:07:59,693
Alive.
167
00:08:02,831 --> 00:08:04,247
OK, so let me
get this straight.
168
00:08:04,315 --> 00:08:09,052
In your fantasies,
you kill me?
169
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,438
No. No, I don't.
170
00:08:11,506 --> 00:08:13,757
It's the rare disease
that kills you.
171
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:18,245
Or the bolt of lightning.
172
00:08:18,313 --> 00:08:19,863
Definitely not me.
173
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,865
Ow! That wasn't ready
to come off yet!
174
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,134
I can't believe
what I'm hearing here!
175
00:08:24,201 --> 00:08:25,302
Let me explain, OK?
176
00:08:25,369 --> 00:08:26,503
Please, Doug.
Explain to me
177
00:08:26,571 --> 00:08:29,089
why I shouldn't be upset
that you want me dead!
178
00:08:29,156 --> 00:08:30,676
Look, I don't want
you dead, all right?
179
00:08:30,701 --> 00:08:32,226
You got it all wrong.
I mean...
180
00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:33,960
The truth is,
181
00:08:34,028 --> 00:08:35,996
I love you so much
182
00:08:36,063 --> 00:08:39,499
that I could never even
imagine cheating on you,
183
00:08:39,568 --> 00:08:41,408
so the only way I can
have any fantasies at all
184
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,153
is if you're...
185
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:44,621
Up there.
186
00:08:49,577 --> 00:08:52,429
So to avoid
the guilt of adultery,
187
00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:54,364
you choose murder?
188
00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:56,383
Again, not murder.
189
00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:58,168
In my fantasies,
190
00:08:58,236 --> 00:09:01,037
you're always taken
from me tragically.
191
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,190
I'm devastated.
192
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:07,244
I give myself 2 years
to grieve.
193
00:09:07,311 --> 00:09:08,362
After that,
194
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:11,231
even your friends are like,
"you gotta move on."
195
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,402
And would one of
those friends be Lisa,
196
00:09:15,469 --> 00:09:17,504
my friend you're
always checking out?
197
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:21,308
She may be one of
those consoling me, yes.
198
00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:23,693
And do you end up
sleeping with her?
199
00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:25,813
God sakes, it's been 2 years!
200
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,731
Oh, my God! OK.
201
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:29,132
So what I'm getting here
202
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,800
is I'm electrocuted
203
00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:32,486
and you're boffing my friends.
204
00:09:32,553 --> 00:09:34,033
No, no, it's usually
not your friends!
205
00:09:34,058 --> 00:09:35,589
That's not typical at all.
206
00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:36,957
What is typical, Doug?
Ohh!
207
00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:38,475
Do you really
wanna open this box?
208
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,477
Yes, I think I do.
209
00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:41,912
All right, fine.
210
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:43,714
Like...
211
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,933
I'm in the park,
212
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,334
grieving...
213
00:09:48,436 --> 00:09:50,370
Just trying to heal,
214
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:52,572
trying to quiet
the endless scream
215
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,325
in my soul...
216
00:09:55,393 --> 00:09:58,228
When a chick in a sports bra
comes over to me.
217
00:10:00,214 --> 00:10:01,932
Uh-huh.
But it's innocent, you know?
218
00:10:01,999 --> 00:10:03,049
We just start talking,
219
00:10:03,151 --> 00:10:04,551
and then I introduce
her to Bobby.
220
00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:06,820
Who's Bobby?
He's our son.
221
00:10:06,887 --> 00:10:08,188
We have a son?!
222
00:10:08,255 --> 00:10:09,456
He's the part of you
that lives on.
223
00:10:09,523 --> 00:10:11,124
All right, I don't
wanna hear any more.
224
00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:13,312
Wait! You know what? There's
a lot of judging me here.
225
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:14,244
What about you?
226
00:10:14,311 --> 00:10:16,430
You know, you fantasize
about other men, right?
227
00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:19,283
Yeah, occasionally. I'm
definitely gonna step it up now!
228
00:10:21,069 --> 00:10:23,403
I'm serious. Like,
when you and Keanu
229
00:10:23,471 --> 00:10:25,155
are getting it on, where am I?
230
00:10:25,223 --> 00:10:26,489
What do you do with me?
231
00:10:26,557 --> 00:10:27,708
You're around!
232
00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:28,825
I'm just cheating on you.
233
00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:31,862
I'm not pushing you
down a flight of stairs!
234
00:10:31,929 --> 00:10:33,089
I don't push you down stairs!
235
00:10:33,681 --> 00:10:36,850
You trip
on Bobby's skateboard!
236
00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:38,469
Oh, bite me!
237
00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:41,204
Well, I certainly see
where he gets his mouth from!
238
00:10:54,152 --> 00:10:55,819
What are these?
239
00:10:55,887 --> 00:10:59,356
These are the sex fantasies
you're allowed to have.
240
00:11:06,814 --> 00:11:08,331
You...
241
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:10,801
Wrote fantasies for me? Yeah.
242
00:11:10,868 --> 00:11:13,119
Look, I know I got upset
last night, OK?
243
00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:14,755
People fantasize.
I get it,
244
00:11:14,822 --> 00:11:16,222
but I just...
245
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,157
Can't let you kill me anymore.
246
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,027
It's just not right.
247
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,028
That doesn't mean
248
00:11:22,096 --> 00:11:23,430
you can write
fantasies for me.
249
00:11:23,498 --> 00:11:25,632
You're my wife!
So?
250
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:26,866
So?
251
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,374
Do I let my cardiologist
order for me
252
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:30,520
at der wienerschnitzel?
253
00:11:30,588 --> 00:11:33,490
Well, Doug, I happen
to have provided you
254
00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:35,208
with alternatives I think
255
00:11:35,276 --> 00:11:36,843
are quite sensuous.
256
00:11:36,911 --> 00:11:38,761
OK, see, "sensuous"
257
00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:41,965
is a red flag already,
right there.
258
00:11:42,032 --> 00:11:43,567
Let's see
what you got, though.
259
00:11:43,634 --> 00:11:45,969
Oh, boy.
260
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,505
"You are alone.
261
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:50,373
"Carrie is away
on a business trip
262
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:52,526
for Vogue magazine."
263
00:11:55,096 --> 00:11:58,648
"You go to a florist
to buy Carrie flowers.
264
00:11:58,716 --> 00:12:01,501
The florist
reminds you of Carrie."
265
00:12:01,569 --> 00:12:02,719
OK, first note:
266
00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:05,422
Little too much Carrie.
267
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:06,770
All right, that
was my first one.
268
00:12:06,795 --> 00:12:08,692
They get better.
Keep going.
269
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,727
"You follow
a trail of rose petals
270
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:12,830
to a canopied bed."
271
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,285
"You ride a horse
across a field..."
272
00:12:30,347 --> 00:12:33,266
OK, I'm pretty sure this one
was a Dharma and Greg.
273
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:34,384
Doug, come on!
274
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:35,969
I worked hard on these, OK?
275
00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:37,704
The least you can do
is have an open mind.
276
00:12:37,772 --> 00:12:39,172
This is crazy!
I mean, look at this!
277
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:40,891
I- I'm on a horse.
278
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:42,426
I'm biking
through wine country.
279
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,094
Why I am so active?
280
00:12:48,032 --> 00:12:49,366
Do you know
in my own fantasies,
281
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:51,935
I rarely get out of a chair?
282
00:12:54,038 --> 00:12:55,656
Look,
283
00:12:55,723 --> 00:12:58,825
these are your fantasies
now, OK?
284
00:12:58,893 --> 00:13:02,729
And you better
start using them,
285
00:13:02,797 --> 00:13:05,431
'cause if I find out I'm dead,
286
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:06,633
you're dead.
287
00:13:12,557 --> 00:13:14,224
"You take her hand in yours
288
00:13:14,292 --> 00:13:18,695
"as the gondolier
looks discreetly away.
289
00:13:18,762 --> 00:13:20,097
"You stroke her hair
290
00:13:20,164 --> 00:13:24,968
and she whispers,
amore."
291
00:13:25,036 --> 00:13:28,004
Damn!
292
00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,540
Ohh!
293
00:13:29,607 --> 00:13:31,607
Oh, it gets better. I'm
about to pick up a mandolin
294
00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:33,393
and start singing.
295
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:34,660
Hey, if these Carrie fantasies
296
00:13:34,685 --> 00:13:36,162
aren't quite working for you,
297
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:38,431
maybe you could have
your mom fire off a few.
298
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,651
You guys are funny.
Laugh it up, you know?
299
00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:42,959
But Carrie's
making me do these.
300
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,187
Making you?
How's Carrie gonna know
301
00:13:44,255 --> 00:13:45,455
what you're fantasizing about?
302
00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:46,523
She knows things, OK?
303
00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:48,071
I mean, how did
she know I was the one
304
00:13:48,139 --> 00:13:50,074
who got Russian dressing
on our wedding album?
305
00:13:50,142 --> 00:13:54,081
I think a lot of people
could've connected those dots.
306
00:13:54,148 --> 00:13:55,065
That's not even the point.
All right?
307
00:13:55,132 --> 00:13:57,172
Look, Carrie's feelings
were really hurt about this.
308
00:13:57,197 --> 00:13:58,836
I just can't blow her off.
309
00:13:58,903 --> 00:14:01,171
All right?
I feel too guilty.
310
00:14:01,238 --> 00:14:03,173
Some of these aren't that bad.
311
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,259
Hey, this one's got
her nail girl Tina in it.
312
00:14:06,327 --> 00:14:07,260
She's pretty hot.
313
00:14:07,328 --> 00:14:09,162
All right.
Good luck with that.
314
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:10,364
I'm gonna hit it.
315
00:14:10,431 --> 00:14:11,999
Yeah, me, too.
316
00:14:12,066 --> 00:14:14,902
Hey, can I, uh,
borrow this one?
317
00:14:14,969 --> 00:14:16,436
Which?
318
00:14:16,504 --> 00:14:18,872
The one with, uh,
Meredith Baxter-birney.
319
00:14:20,925 --> 00:14:23,460
I'll get it back
to you when I'm done.
320
00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:25,929
My gift to you.
321
00:14:25,997 --> 00:14:27,831
Thank you.
322
00:14:27,898 --> 00:14:29,338
Oh, and if anything
with Judith light
323
00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:30,485
comes across your desk, uh,
324
00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:31,768
shoot it my way, will ya?
325
00:14:33,921 --> 00:14:35,605
All right, Tina,
326
00:14:35,673 --> 00:14:37,507
let's see what you got.
327
00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:45,748
Oh, Doug,
I'm glad you're here.
328
00:14:45,816 --> 00:14:47,417
Can you pay Tina?
329
00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:48,568
I'm meeting Donna karan.
330
00:14:48,603 --> 00:14:51,204
We're gonna play darts
at Calvin klein's place.
331
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:52,205
Oh. Sure.
332
00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:53,440
Great. Thanks.
333
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:58,662
Oh, and I won't be back
for a few hours. OK?
334
00:15:01,749 --> 00:15:03,716
Ahem.
335
00:15:03,785 --> 00:15:04,818
Whoops. I...
336
00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:06,486
Seem to have forgotten my wallet. I--
337
00:15:07,371 --> 00:15:08,955
I don't know how
I'm gonna pay you.
338
00:15:09,023 --> 00:15:12,492
Well, that's very bad news.
339
00:15:14,095 --> 00:15:15,662
Is there any other way
340
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,831
we could, uh, work this out?
341
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,701
I'm sure we can think
of something.
342
00:15:24,905 --> 00:15:26,172
Uh...
343
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,607
What's the matter?
344
00:15:27,675 --> 00:15:29,910
It's just...
345
00:15:29,977 --> 00:15:31,978
My wife.
346
00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:38,001
She said she won't
be back for hours.
347
00:15:38,069 --> 00:15:39,385
Right.
348
00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:46,009
Ohh, I-I can't-
I-I-look, I-I--
349
00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:47,377
I just need a minute here.
350
00:15:55,085 --> 00:15:56,569
Oh, my God!
What was that?
351
00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:57,871
My wife. She's dead.
352
00:15:57,938 --> 00:15:59,405
Now where were we?
353
00:16:02,377 --> 00:16:05,128
I thought you said you
weren't going to kill me!
354
00:16:06,314 --> 00:16:07,230
I didn't mean to!
355
00:16:07,298 --> 00:16:08,658
Well, you know what?
We had a deal.
356
00:16:08,683 --> 00:16:10,683
Now your little party's
over, buddy.
357
00:16:10,751 --> 00:16:12,585
Out.
358
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:14,854
Out! Look to me. Out.
359
00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:18,025
Who's back there?
360
00:16:18,092 --> 00:16:19,759
Nobody.
361
00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:27,834
Who are they?!
362
00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:29,703
My friends?
363
00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:30,871
These--
364
00:16:30,938 --> 00:16:32,498
these are the women
you fantasize about.
365
00:16:32,523 --> 00:16:34,440
These are your regulars!
366
00:16:34,508 --> 00:16:35,876
Actually, she's not a regular.
367
00:16:35,943 --> 00:16:37,978
I saw her on a billboard
this morning.
368
00:16:38,045 --> 00:16:39,965
All right, well, you know
what? Let's go, ladies.
369
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:40,747
Out. Let's go.
370
00:16:40,815 --> 00:16:43,282
Party's over.
Time to go.
371
00:16:43,351 --> 00:16:45,318
Let's go, hee haw.
372
00:16:48,456 --> 00:16:50,640
Oh, uh-huh.
Nice. Yeah.
373
00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:51,548
You, too, food court.
374
00:16:51,573 --> 00:16:53,626
I see ya. I see ya.
375
00:16:53,694 --> 00:16:55,662
Uh-huh. Oh,
there's sports bra.
376
00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:56,796
That's nice, yeah.
377
00:16:56,864 --> 00:16:58,898
Village people
make a comeback? OK.
378
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:00,166
That's great.
379
00:17:03,337 --> 00:17:05,739
Is that one of
your mom's friends?
380
00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:09,376
You're sick!
381
00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:18,851
Get out of my brain.
382
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:20,053
What are you talking about?
383
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,788
I tried one of
your little fantasies.
384
00:17:21,855 --> 00:17:23,575
It didn't work, and now
that you're in here,
385
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,083
none of my old fantasies
work either.
386
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:26,393
You chased everyone away!
387
00:17:26,461 --> 00:17:28,728
Look, I just don't
want you to kill me.
388
00:17:28,796 --> 00:17:31,298
I don't think
that's too much to ask!
389
00:17:31,365 --> 00:17:33,499
I am tired
of apologizing for this.
390
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:35,235
Killing off your spouse
in your fantasies
391
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:38,571
is the most natural,
beautiful thing in the world!
392
00:17:38,639 --> 00:17:40,573
Why can't you see that?
393
00:17:40,641 --> 00:17:42,341
Hey, Doug. How are
those stitches doing?
394
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,077
Oh, they're, uh-
they're good.
395
00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:45,896
He hasn't been biting
at 'em, has he?
396
00:17:45,963 --> 00:17:47,880
No.
397
00:17:47,948 --> 00:17:50,149
Just a couple of minutes
to get 'em out.
398
00:17:50,217 --> 00:17:53,420
And while you wait, you can
enjoy a very old People magazine.
399
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:55,888
Oh! OK.
400
00:17:55,956 --> 00:17:56,889
Bye.
401
00:18:26,503 --> 00:18:28,288
Mrs. Heffernan?
402
00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:30,857
I'm afraid the stitch
removal didn't go well.
403
00:18:32,393 --> 00:18:33,726
What do you mean?
404
00:18:33,794 --> 00:18:35,779
What I'm trying to say is...
405
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:37,446
Your husband...
406
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,099
He's dead.
407
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,221
Honey!
408
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:46,823
I loved you so much!
409
00:18:48,492 --> 00:18:49,992
A woman as beautiful as you
410
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,178
should not be crying.
411
00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:53,380
Why?
412
00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,181
What should I be doing?
413
00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:56,182
Dancing!
414
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,184
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
415
00:20:03,951 --> 00:20:05,418
Carrie.
416
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:06,486
Carrie!
Huh?
417
00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:08,121
Yes. I'm done. Everything's fine.
418
00:20:08,188 --> 00:20:11,491
Oh, well,
that's great, sweetie!
419
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:12,492
"Sweetie"?
420
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,026
What's up with--
421
00:20:14,094 --> 00:20:15,262
you're not mad anymore?
422
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:16,996
No. No, I was
just sitting here
423
00:20:17,064 --> 00:20:19,232
thinking about, uh,
424
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,317
how much I love you.
425
00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:22,918
Come on, let's
go get some ice cream.
426
00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:15,989
Who are you?
427
00:21:16,056 --> 00:21:19,075
I'm Josephine.
Your wife sent me.
428
00:21:19,143 --> 00:21:20,760
Oh.
429
00:21:20,828 --> 00:21:22,729
Doug Heffernan. Hi.
430
00:21:28,452 --> 00:21:30,636
Oh, what the hell.
28485
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