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Marvellous salad.

Marvellous.
May I have a bit more, please?

- Yes, sir.
- Oh, me too.

Count me in. It is divine.

- Tell Sissie everything is excellent.
- She'll be pleased.

And I'll have a little fraction more
of that wonderful salad.

Yes, ma'am.

Is it ready?

- It needs more oregano.
- I put a lot in.

Well, just a touch more.

- Where did you get this?
- Out of your bag.

That's not my bag.
That's the waiter's bag.

Four more salads
for four very hungry people who--

- What's wrong, Mavis?
- Harry, what is this?

That's personal.

What is it?

- It ain't oregano.
- Oh, my God!

- You put this in the veal?
- And the soup.

- No!
- And the salad.

Lord have mercy! Grass!

My grass!

Jesus! You cooked half my stash!

Excuse me, dear.
May I talk with you for a minute?

- Up your kazoo!
- Up my.... Wait.

I'm not trying to be a pest.
I know you're an actress.

- Who are you?
- Skip Donahue. I'm a playwright.

I saw you do a scene
from Romeo and Juliet.

You were wonderful. I'm not just
saying it to be kind. You were lovely.

Get out of my way
or I'll kick you in the nuts.

Kick in the nuts! You're fantastic.
The way you can switch characters.

The difference between this
and Juliet is fabulous.

I know you're not wearing
anything under that coat.

- What?
- I also know you're a shoplifter.

- Part-time.
- Are you some kind of loony tune?

No. I'm the store detective here.
Part-time.

Mrs. R.H. was my best customer too.

Well, I was James' best customer.
He sold me this African gungi '65.

Do you know what you've done?
For a little of this, my girlfriend...

...was gonna let me have her
and two of her girlfriends.

She'll ruin me when she finds out!

- Maybe she'll think it's the wine.
- The wine?

There's no wine in the world that--
Smell that.

This is '65 African gungi
from the motherland.

Understand? It's been soaked
in the earth back home. This is mean!

One joint of this put Southern
California to sleep back in '65.

There was a revolution in '65.
We missed it because of this.

This is bad! And you went
and spread it over everything.

I hope you had fun,
because I ain't gonna.

I saw you pretend to steal that dress.
You even looked guilty.

You're a wonderful actress.
But you didn't know...

...l also saw you take off the dress
and throw it in the trash bin.

Let me get this right...

...shithead!

You kill me.

- You think I was a terrific Juliet--
- You were!

Thanks. And you think that I stole
a dress, and then threw it away!

- Right!
- You think I have nothing on under this?

I know that you don't.

- More wine, sir?
- What is this stuff?

- Domestic '65. Hot, isn't it?
- Was that a good year?

- The best ever.
- It's a bitch.

- What did you say?
- I didn't say nothing, ma'am.

- I'm feeling something very strange.
- That's my leg.

Oh, that's all right.
Hit him again, Harry.

Yes, ma'am.
Hitting you again, Father.

You know, I've never
felt like this before.

You know, I'm.... I'm....

Horny?

- Yes?
- Which reminds me.

There's something I always wanted to
ask someone like you. Do you get much?

Not too often.
Just an occasional glass at dinner.

That's not what she meant.

- Harry.
- Yes, yes, yes.

The most wonderful thing
just happened.

Me too.

She's bad, ain't she?
What are you laughing for?

Harry, I got fired today.

- I got fired too.
- What do you mean?

- I got fired.
- You got fired?

Today? This afternoon?

- Yep.
- Between 3:30 and 4?

Yeah, about that.
What happened? I win a prize?

Harry. This is fantastic!

- Any deaths we can celebrate too?
- Don't you know what I'm saying?

- Skip.
- Hi, Nancy.

- How you doing, honey?
- How you doing, Nancy?

- I'm sitting back there.
- Nancy, hello.

- Okay.
- Harry-- You don't introduce me?

- She's not for you.
- What do you mean?

- Nancy is a fascinating girl.
- Yeah.

She may be the single hottest girl
on the East Side.

But when you wake up,
you'll find she's not very serious.

Neither am l.

Harry, listen to me.

For the first time in our lives,
we're free.

Yeah, free to walk in the cold.
To be ridiculed.

I don't mean that.

I mean we're free to get out
of this city. It's driving me buggy.

What are you trying to pull?

I gave you a $10 bill.
Think I'm crazy?

And it's 8:50 on the clock. Okay?

- You gave me a buck, not 10.
- Bullshit! I gave you a 10!

- Why are you trying to steal from me?
- Get lost, Chico.

See what this city does to people?
They need room to breathe.

They need love, affection!

The little guy needs money. The big
guy needs a two-by-four to his head.

All they need is someone to talk
to them gently, with compassion.

- That's all they need.
- Are you serious? Huh?

I'm serious. That's what
I don't like about this city.

- You're a saint.
- Why make fun of me?

You ought to go over there.
They're gentlemen, they'll understand.

Because you convinced me. Go on over
there, tell them what you told me.

Go on over there.

- Okay.
- Skip, what are you--? Skip!

Skip, don't go over there, man.

- Skip.
- Oh, hi, Lana.

Call me.

Excuse me.
Hold on one second, fellas.

Listen, I know this
is a delicate situation.

But let's talk a little sense.

Do you really want
to hurt this man?

No, no, not at all.

Do you want more
than what you're due?

- No.
- Then we're halfway home.

Can we work this out
in a civilized manner?

It's okay with me.

By the way, sir, what is your name?

Alex.

Alex. And you, sir?

- My name is Chico.
- Chico.

Alex, may I present Chico.
Chico, this is Alex.

How do you do?

Wallet. Wallet.

Okay. Okay.

- Here. Here.
- Hey, thanks, sir.

- Does this include the tip?
- Yes. Have it all. Okay?

Thanks a lot.

I'll leave you. You seem
to have a friendship starting.

- Have a nice evening.
- Thank you.

- So long, fellas.
- So long.

Take care.

No, no, don't. That--

- Well?
- What if you got hurt, huh?

Did you think about that?

Do you see what can be accomplished
if you get people to make real contact?

The little man had the contact.
He got his point across.

Harry, I don't like it here anymore.
I want to get out.

Let's go where there's some sunshine.

Where there's human feelings.
Tenderness and kindness.

- Where the noise is not so loud.
- You wanna leave New York? Broadway?

You love New York?

I got a callback on a play.
I'm an actor. I'm going to stay.

Harry, you made $35
last year as an actor.

- How much you make as a playwright?
- Nothing.

That's why I want to get out of here.
Let's go. We can head out West.

We could grab odd jobs on the way.
Build up a nest egg.

And then head for Hollywood.
That's the place for us. Picture it.

Harry and Skip in the Sunbelt.

In the Sunbelt, you just smile
and they pour money out on you.

And the women. Oh, God, the women.

Natural, robust, open, carefree...

...uninhibited, healthy.

- Talk some more.
- Okay.

- You can talk shit.
- Okay, picture this.

You and me, and two girls.
Romping through the desert.

Splashing into the ocean.
And the moonlight is out.

We glimpse their bodies
when the moonlight hits their breasts.

We watch those breasts
bounce gently to and fro.

- In the sand?
- After the water, we go in the sand.

- We have a blanket.
- You serious?

- That's what I'm trying to say.
- Let's go!

Okay! California, here I come!

Harry, what's the matter?

- 150 bucks?
- 150?

That'll put a dent in our bankroll.

Don't worry.
Jobs shouldn't be hard to find here.

I think this is too much, though.

I have a good feeling
about this town.

I think this is gonna be
our lucky town.

Give me the 5 back, please.

Merry Christmas.

- How did you do on the job front?
- I drew a blank.

Well, I have one possibility.
It's nothing ideal. But it's a start.

Harry, I have something
very important to tell you.

I love this place!
I'm thrilled here, Harry.

I'm telling you, I am....
I'm thrilled.

- I'm thrilled for you.
- You can taste the atmosphere.

Do you know what this will do
for my writing?

See those two guys?

The Sunbelt's history
is written on their faces.

- They'll bring your hat to you.
- Don't worry.

I'd love to talk with those fellows. I
want to try and capture their rhythm.

- It won't take you long. Skip--
- I'll be right back.

Jesus Christ, goddamn! Skip!

Hi. Hi, fellas.

Hello. Hi. How are you?

I'm Skip Donahue. I'm from back East.

Me and my buddy--
My buddy and I just rolled into town.

We were wondering, what is the job
situation like around here?

Wow! That surprised me.
Do you mind if I try it?

Okay.

Skip!

Excuse me, gentlemen,
I just want to speak to my friend.

- What?
- Socializing with them is hazardous.

- They're nice guys.
- They'll take your head off.

- Tell me about the job opportunity.
- It's in banking.

- We don't know about banking.
- We don't have to.

I've sold the manager
on a new promotion idea.

Oh, you'll save money
Knock on wood

When you do what
A good woodpecker should

Save for a horse
Or a brand-new ranch

When you flock to the
Glenboro Savings branch

You can feather your nest
With frills

Fill your garage
With Coup de Villes

Just relax if you have a big bill

Are you really a woodpecker?

No, I'm just a man pretending
to be a woodpecker.

That's a real woodpecker.

Be a smart bird too

You little pecker, you

You gotta admit, for an interim gig,
this really wasn't bad.

Oh, you'll save money
Knock on wood

You'll save money
Knock on wood

When you do what
A good woodpecker should

Save for a horse
Or a brand-new ranch

When you flock to the
Glenboro Savings--

Get down on the floor.

Stay where you are
and nobody gets hurt.

- Looks like trouble.
- What happened?

- Let's not find out.
- It might be important.

Skip!

Would you mind looking
at some mug shots?

Maybe you can identify those guys.

- There they are! The New Yorkers!
- Can we help?

Is that your van?

- No, sir. It doesn't belong to me.
- Yes, sir. What are you doing?

- This is my first frisk.
- Why are you searching me?

- I hope you're enjoying this shit.
- What are you doing?

Welcome to the desert.
But I don't see no naked women.

I shouldn't have listened to you.

- Grandma was right. Shit for brains!
- Me?

No, me!

- What are you doing?
- Getting bad.

You better get bad.
If you ain't, you'll get fucked.

You bad, they don't mess with you.

- Hey, home, get down.
- Hey.

You a little too bad, ain't you?

Yeah.

Do some of these.

That's right, that's right, we bad.

That's right. We don't want
no shit, either. That's right.

Darn right.

We don't want no shit, you understand?

We don't take too much shit.
We take a little, but no monster shit.

Damn right!

- That's right. Say, "No shit."
- No shit!

That's right, no shit. No.
Try it again.

- We don't take no shit.
- No shit.

No shit.

- And we ain't shitting.
- You better believe it, baby.

What the hell's wrong with him?

Oh, shit. Skip?
Skip, come on, man.

Come on.

Carry me back to old Virginia, Lord.

Did you get it?

Oh. There it is.

Right on the end of your nose.

Sinsemilla!

Oh, shit!

Give him a light.

- Give me a light.
- He wants a light.

Right on.

The man wants a light.

A light.

It doesn't....
Don't.... Just doesn't....

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

- Short-ass son of a bitch, ain't you?
- Oh, I'm a short son of a bitch.

My father was a short
son of a bitch too.

My mother was shorter than him.

And my brother was real short, and we
couldn't even see him. He was short.

- What's the charge?
- I'm innocent.

- Ain't we all.
- Bank robbery.

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!

You can kiss the baby.

Kiss the baby?

What baby is that, sir?

Ask your lawyer.

Kiss the baby?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I'm Slowpoke.
- Hi. Slowpoke, this is Harry.

This state gives long sentences,
especially for bank robbing.

Don't wet your pants. They have
a liberal good-time program.

If the bottom drops out
from under you...

...that's one bright spot
to look forward to.

- Okay. Okay.
- What is he talking about?

- What did he say?
- I don't know what he said.

He said if the bottom falls out.

This filthy, roach-ridden reality
is inspiring.

What did that cop say
when he grabbed your throat?

- I don't fucking believe you!
- "I don't fucking believe you."

- Fabulous!
- You don't get it.

Think this is
The Count of Monte Cristo?

This is the real deal.
We're in deep shit.

You and I are innocent.
You know that. I know that.

The two guys who really pulled
that bank job know it too.

But the cops don't know it!

Donahue. Monroe.

- I am entitled to a private interview.
- Forget it.

- Are you here for us?
- I believe so.

I'm Skip Donahue.
This is my buddy, Harry Monroe.

- I'm Len Garber, your lawyer.
- It's a pleasure to see you.

Call my girlfriend, Cindy Laurence.
They won't let me.

- It's important to him.
- I will.

- Say we're at our cousins.
- There's been a misunderstanding.

I am more or less familiar
with the case.

You know we're innocent?

Can't you just cut through
all this garbage?

This isn't funny.
Do they know I hate confinement?

They don't care. I can only shower
them with motions. I've filed two.

- Only two?
- How about a dozen on me?

We're dealing with robbery
and assault.

You might as well have
burned the Pentagon!

Will the defendants rise?

Considering the arguments
presented by both counsel...

...and after deliberation...

...l find the defendants
guilty as charged.

Do you wish to waive the right
to a pre-sentence hearing?

- No.
- Yes, Your Honour.

Considering the ruthless nature
of this crime...

...and the bleak prospects
for rehabilitation...

...l hereby sentence you
to serve 125 years...

...in the custody of the commissioner
of the Department of Corrections.

Wait. No, no, no, wait.

No, no, sit. Sit.

We didn't do it.
There's a misunderstanding.

- Right.
- We didn't do it.

- Our lawyer told us to come up--
- I know I didn't.

He's joking. He means we didn't do it.
We didn't do it.

- Have you got the right case?
- This is Monroe and Donahue.

- Harry Monroe. Look under there.
- Sir.

- A tall, black man--
- Sir, we didn't--

How much does that mean
in actual time?

- Thirty years, tops.
- I'll be a dead old man.

- Thirty years.
- I don't want to do one.

I don't even want to do 100.
I can't....

I'm gonna kill this mother.

- I'm mad about what happened.
- It's not the end of the world.

- What do we do?
- Start your sentence. I'll appeal.

- A hundred and twenty-five years!
- Stop it! It's only 30 years.

Can you get your staff to track down
those guys who really pulled it off?

It's a one-man show. My cousin
is visiting from Massachusetts.

She's a terrific social worker.
Bright.

Oh, 125 years.
I won't have grandchildren!

Thanks.

It's chilling. It's frighteningly real.
It's almost surreal.

Will you shut up until we get out
of this mess you got us into?

Let's go. And no slow bucking.

- Sir, how come--?
- Shut up, asshole, and move out!

This is from the Middle Ages.
How do they expect you to move?

I bet this whole thing is illegal.

- Sir, wasn't this whole contraption--?
- Keep moving, turkey!

Get up. Get up!

You're gonna have to learn
the hard way, fella.

I was right.
This is illegal and he knows it.

Jesus! The man
ain't never gonna learn.

Maybe after they hit him a few times.

Just get into the flow of it.
Don't fight the metal.

I'm not. It's fighting me.

- What you up for, Sweetpants?
- We're innocent. I swear we are.

My name ain't no goddamn "Sweetpants."

Holy shit!

- I have the swing of it now. Thanks.
- Sure.

- I'm Skip Donahue.
- Jesus Ramirez.

Nice to meet you.
Why are you here?

I've been here seven years,
away from my beautiful Teresa.

I was in court on an appeal hearing.
Lost again.

They accused me
of robbing several banks.

I was drunk, but I'm positive
I only robbed one bank. You?

My friend and I were doing
a song and dance act.

Must have been pretty bad.

Excuse me. I'm not very good
at these written tests.

I think you'll get much more of my
original flavour in an oral exam--

You know, I'm just about to lose
my patience with you.

- I was trying to explain--
- Keep writing, shitface!

Two pears, three apples....

Listen. A kid tried that on me once
at Camp Minikani in Vermont.

I hit him so hard his braces
ripped his whole upper lip.

His mother had to come get him
in the middle of the season.

- What do they put in the dollhouses?
- Guess.

- Us?
- Yes. You got it on the first try.

- Harry.
- What?

- We're in prison.
- Welcome to the real world!

And not a minute too soon,
I might add. Now, brace up. Be strong.

- Harry.
- What?

I don't think I'm going to make it.

Hang on, man. Don't mess up.
Just think about our appeal.

Skip, please.

Excuse me. Could I please--?

Wait a minute,
I'm not a troublemaker.

Skip.

Skip!

Okay, no more hitting.

Did you hear what I said?
No more hitting. Turn around.

Wanna stay late tonight?
Turn around.

Let's get out of here!
Come on, Silver! Harry, I'm freaking.

Giddyap! So long, suckers!

Hey, Harry, he thinks he's a horse.

Help me! Harry!

Don't hit him! Please, he's sick.

He's having a fit.
He don't have his fit pills.

- He's got them, honest. Vietnam....
- Harry, help me, Harry!

- Skip!
- Help!

Oh, shit, Skip.

It's okay. It's okay.
You did it. You did it.

- He's okay now.
- I'm okay now. It's out of my system.

- You okay?
- Yep.

- He's okay.
- I'm 100 percent.

Please, just this once.

I mean, it's okay. Pretend it's okay.

Okay.

- He's okay, see?
- Yeah, we're okay.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

For God's sake!
You're gonna get us in trouble.

- Harry, it's all right.
- I can't take it! Mama!

- Come here.
- Mama!

Take your pill.
Three seconds, it's over.

One thousand one. One thousand two.
One thousand three. Finished!

Finished!

What did I tell you?
Okay, let's go.

Back in line. Here we go.
Thanks very much.

- Okay! Here we go. What's next?
- This way.

I'd like spareribs, French fries...

...and a big old juicy cheeseburger
on the side with a chocolate malt!

Thanks.

I can get you things,
like a cheeseburger.

I don't want you
to get me no cheeseburger.

- I'll wash your socks.
- Don't wash my socks.

You leave my socks alone, man.
Stay out of my face.

These are delicious.

Aren't you amazed at the quality
of these vegetables? In a prison?

I'm amazed at what's
crawling in our soup.

- What are you talking about?
- Little creatures.

- Where?
- There.

What's his story?
Why does he get a separate table?

That's Grossberger. The biggest killer
in the history of the Southwest.

He killed his whole family and all
his relatives in one weekend.

Then he killed some people
who reminded him of them.

- He here for rehabilitation?
- He threw the chaplain through a wall...

...burned down the factory.
But he hasn't killed anyone here.

I wouldn't sit with him,
and I killed my stepdaddy.

I wonder what triggered all that
violence. He seems so gentle.

I see what it is.

Nobody has ever just sat down
and honestly talked with that man.

- Poor kid.
- The man's not ready for an interview.

Hello.

I'll wait till after
he's had a little nap.

Do you mind? Why did you
kill your stepfather anyway?

Criticizing my new fur jacket.
And slapping my hand.

- What should we do with him, Jack?
- How late was he?

A week.

You snort up all that nice blow
and then you forget about paying.

Teach him to be punctual.

- What was that all about?
- That's Jack Graham.

You don't mess with him.

- A guard can yank you out like that?
- He's an inmate like you and me.

He runs the cellblock.
Dope, whiskey, a woman.

He can get you anything you want.
And he can get you killed.

Well, I don't want anything from him.

That's Blade. He runs the Third World
side of cellblock two.

Before Grossberger, he held the
axe-murder record in the Southwest.

It's hard to be the best.

He's gonna give me the cheeseburger.
How do you like it?

I don't want a cheeseburger.
I'm watching my weight.

- Don't worry.
- Getting fat.

- I'll protect you. I make him uneasy.
- I wonder why.

Hi. I'm going. Skip, my friend.
Excuse me, would you?

- I'll come with you.
- Oh, shit.

I'm a little nervous.
Did you sleep any better last night?

A little between nightmares.
The walls close in on me.

I know. I have it on the list. Roomier
cells, soap dish, toilet seats--

What are you talking about?

- That's ridiculous.
- Put that on your list.

- I will. Unnecessary violence.
- See what they did to him?

Okay, you two, inside.

- Inmates 65984 and 65985.
- The New Yorkers.

How do you do, sir?
Very nice to meet you.

We'd like to touch--
I think I speak for Harry.

- Would like to--
- No.

Harry's a little nervous,
and I am a little bit too.

This is a different
way of life for us.

We'd like to discuss
with you some ideas...

...we think would make
life easier for all.

- Oh, do we have to listen to this?
- Were you in the middle of something?

No. Mr. Wilson just doesn't feel the
same need to be hospitable as I do.

Get on the bull!

- Get on the ball?
- Get on the bull!

Is that what that is? I didn't know.
Oh, is that a recreational activity?

I was hoping for volleyball or tennis.

We have an annual prison rodeo
we're awfully proud of.

We like to run you new
fellas through a test...

...to see if you have any
aptitude for it.

Sure. Fine with me.

- Be sure we don't miss some rodeo star.
- You don't need me, right?

- You wanna shut up?
- Okay.

- Okay, let her rip.
- You're on backwards.

Okay.

Over the rigging.

I thought you meant the other way.

I was looking for the
horns to come out. Okay.

- You ready, Mr. Wilson?
- Ready.

Proceed.

Harry, you gotta try this.
It's fun.

It's like the merry-go-round
at Coney Island.

Try two level.

Where's the part where I go,
"Hee-ya"?

Go to three.

This is fun.

Look, Ma. I'm dancing.

Ride it, Skip!

Ride that son of a bitch!

All right.

- Is it all right if I get off now?
- Yes. You can get off now.

You two fellas can
go on back to your cells.

Mr. Barstow!

- We had a nice visit, didn't we?
- Yeah. Mr. Barstow!

Here are the ideas I mentioned.
Why don't you chew on these?

When you're ready, we'll go over them.

- Get rid of them.
- Maybe we can meet for lunch.

- I don't believe what I saw.
- The machine's malfunctioning!

The machine's fine.
You want to try it?

- It was luck.
- He's a born cowboy.

- From New York?
- I don't care where he's from.

No inmate ever took it to six level.

Your big rodeo star, Graham,
never got it past a four.

- Graham's had injuries.
- I've had 10 years of humiliation!

I won't mention the money
trouble I'm in...

...from losing to Warden Sampson
and his gorillas, because of him!

If that kid's for real, he'll ride
for Glenboro in the next rodeo...

...and we're gonna whip Sampson's boys
and win that goddamn prize!

Get that kid back here in an hour.
I wanna test him on Double Aught again.

- Check it out.
- You check it out.

My back hurts, fellas,
I'm gonna have to drop out.

Okay.

My back still hurts from yesterday.
Hurt it again.

Harry, rub me a little bit,
right here, would you? That's it.

That's better. Did you try that
thing in the warden's office?

- It's fun.
- It is.

Jesus was the champion
bull rider from his province.

You're kidding! That's wonderful.
Are you gonna ride in the rodeo?

- Jesus says the rodeo is bullshit.
- Why? How come?

Do you know how much money
they make on it? $85,000 to $100,000.

Hundred thousand dollars.

We're supposed to get the money.
We don't get shit.

We get our ass kicked. They get rich.

The prisoners don't get one
penny of that money?

No, I'm exaggerating a little,
I guess.

Two years ago we got new
Ping-Pong balls. Five boxes.

I don't understand one thing.
Why do the guys go to the rodeo?

They scare everybody by threatening
to deny their parole.

- That's how they get the kiss-asses.
- Outrageous!

In Texas, they run an honest rodeo.
The prisoners keep the prize money.

Them wardens over there are pretty
decent. Not like these pricks.

Isn't that fucking outrageous?

Say, I hear you went to six
on Double Aught, hey?

- He's my man.
- Did you tell him? It wasn't so tough.

Well, if you really did a six...

...they're gonna want you to ride
in that Top Hand competition.

Don't worry. I'm no brown-noser.

Everybody knows that.
Why don't you hear the man out?

If you ride in the Top Hand event,
there's a good chance we can bust out.

You know what I mean?

- Is he talking about a jailbreak--?
- You bet your ass.

- What about our appeal?
- Appeal? Rory, tell him about appeals.

The day I met you and Sweetpants was
my fifth appeal hearing in six years.

Turned me down.

Do you want to spend 30 years in here?
I couldn't take it.

And I know you can't.
We gotta get out of here.

Hello, operator, get me Warden Sampson
at Doerin Prison, please. Thank you.

Hello, Wally.
How's your team look this year?

Not too bad. We might
give you a race this year.

Is that right?

You got some new blood?

Something like that.

Seeing as how you're in
such good shape...

...you want to put some real
money down?

Well, I realize that $50,000...

...ain't much these days, but it might
stimulate a little interest.

Henry, one way or another,
I'm gonna cover that bet.

What do you want me to do?

You've got to convince the warden
that you won't ride, no matter what.

He'll be so mad, he'll wet his pants,
because he makes this very big bet.

But you gotta hold out, no matter
what they do. Don't give up.

The longer you hold out,
the better chance for a bargain.

What bargain?

- You pick your crew.
- That's us.

- The county stadium is tough to crack.
- Even tougher than this joint.

- It's supposed to be escape-proof.
- But there's a weakness.

This is fantastic.
Harry, there's a great novel in this.

Which you won't start writing
till we get out of here, right?

I guess I can wait seven months.

Donahue!

- Hello, warden. Nice to see you again.
- I've got some good news for you.

- My wine magazines came?
- No, it's better than that.

You're gonna represent Glenboro Prison
in the annual Top Hand competition.

Congratulations.

Oh, my God! Warden!

- I can't do that.
- What the hell are you talking about?

I should've told you.
My mom was a veterinarian.

I can't exploit animals,
she'd roll over in her grave.

You didn't hear me.
This is very important to me.

Important to you? My mother
is watching over every step I make.

Do you know my soul is on the line?
Please, let's drop-- What?

I said no. I told him no.

Ma, are you crazy? I have witnesses.
We'll talk about it in my cell.

I have to go to the bathroom.
Would you excuse me, warden?

That boy is very confused.
Straighten him out!

Well, what about Jack Graham?
His knees have mended.

Wake him up.

- All right. On your feet. Let's move!
- What happened?

Let's go, Mayor Koch.
And you too, Count Basie!

- What time is it?
- 4:30.

Why so early?

It's called paying your debt
to society. Now, let's move!

- Is breakfast ready?
- Somebody stole the toilet!

Over here.

You're peeing on me.

- Close 12.
- Close 12.

Oh, shit! They're trying to kill me.
Please, God, please.

They're coming back.
They're coming back.

Pillow.

I want my pillow.

All right, you two. Up and at 'em!

I can't feel nothing in my leg!

- Don't you see the white line?
- Yes.

- You're not to be to the side of it.
- Sorry, mistake. Won't happen again.

Too late for that.
Get him out of here.

Come on.

- Close 10!
- Close 10!

Hey! My back!
My 11 -year-old back problem is gone.

I feel terrific. Thanks, cap. Wow!
What a lucky guy!

You son of a guns!

All right, get in there. I'll see you
in about five days, if you make it.

Donahue?

One more day, please.

Just one more day. I was beginning
to get into myself. Be a pal.

Harry, guess who's here?
How's my best--?

Help me. Please help me!

I left my wallet in the solitary.
Could l? Oh, please.

Nighty-night, boys.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Grossberger.... Grossberger....

- Come here. I want to talk to you.
- I can't go to you. It's amazing.

Excuse me.

- Don't touch him. Don't touch him.
- Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

Please don't touch him.

- See you later.
- Don't touch.

I'll stand here.

- Don't leave me, please.
- No. I'll just be over here.

You think Grossberger ate them
up or did he leave some bones?

If he did, we're gonna ship them
back to Times Square.

- Say what? No, this is a jack.
- I know this is illegal.

- We tried charades. He doesn't get it.
- This is dead. You can't play it.

What is this? Look, what?
Cheating, look!

- Wait.
- What?

- Wait a second.
- What?

- What? What do you call--?
- That's for this one.

Well, how have you been getting along?

Excuse me. This is my cousin, Meredith.
She's been helping out on your case.

- Hi.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

You too.

It's amazing. There's hardly any
family resemblance. No offence.

We're just barely cousins. See,
my mother was a French cancan dancer.

And.... It's a long story.

Say, how've you been getting along?

Swell. Just swell.
A few ups and downs.

You know, people see movies
about prison life...

...but until you've actually
spent time here...

...it's hard to get the real
flavour of what it's like.

More Americans should spend
time behind bars to understand.

More Americans probably will.

Now, we have made your preliminary
bid for retrial and....

Well, Meredith,
why don't you tell him?

Remember the little girl in the bank?
She's ready to swear...

...you weren't in the woodpecker
suits during the robbery.

She remembers that one
of the robbers had a tattoo.

- Do either of you have a tattoo?
- No.

Good. I'll check the tattoo places.

There's a raunchy strip joint
where tattooed guys hang out.

I'm gonna try for
a part-time job there.

Now, because the little girl
is only 6...

...the court said that her information
doesn't justify a new hearing.

We're trying to change that.

On the basis that
information was withheld.

All legal bullshit.
You were railroaded!

Another example
of a repressive system...

...coming down
on the bottom of society.

I don't know about the bottom part,
but I agree with you on the rest.

You want to know something
that's always fascinated me...

...are the prison romances
that sometimes spring up...

...between inmates and girls from the
outside. Sometimes beautiful girls.

I mean, would you, for example...

...could you actually become involved,
I mean romantically, with a prisoner?

Absolutely not.

No, I didn't think so.

I was just curious.

- How's he tougher than you thought?
- In a few days I'll break him.

We don't have a few days. Stock's
delivered. The contracts are out.

And Doerin is ahead of us.

I thought the kid
would be a little softer.

He's soft. You just don't know
where to kick him.

What are you talking about, my
appendix? I know about appendix!

I had my appendix taken out already.
I had my appendix taken out. Help!

Sir, help me! Please! Help!

- What you in for?
- There's gotta be some confusion.

They say my appendix grew back,
but I had it removed years ago. You?

I came for a hernia operation. They
cut off one of my nuts by mistake.

Say what?

They said I didn't need it.

Now I can't eat, I don't sleep, I got
no enthusiasm. I don't write my woman.

I'm getting out next year,
but I don't care.

You're sure taking it calm.

Nothing I can do now.

They got this Korean doctor just came
to this country. Don't get him.

- Right.
- He did this to me.

Korean, right. Jesus Christ!
What's the matter with him?

Johnson's on a hunger strike. They're
force-feeding him to keep him alive.

Thank God.
There's some humanity in this place.

They're gonna electrocute
him next month.

Mr. Frazier? How do you go?

That's the cat that did me.

Be sure you cover up them jewels!

- Hello, Donahue. What can I do for you?
- I'm ready to make a deal.

- Oh? What kind of deal?
- I want my own team.

And I want a bigger cell
with better ventilation.

- Has Grossberger been farting on you?
- Settle down, Wilson.

- I don't make deals, Donahue.
- I know.

- But I think it might be arranged.
- Good.

I want to win that trophy. And I'm
counting on you to go balls-out.

I only have one speed: balls-out.

That's the spirit. You'll get
out of here a relatively young man.

- I'm looking forward to that.
- I guess we have a deal.

I guess so.

Ride 'em, cowboy.

Okay.

- I want an inmate guard on them.
- Graham'll watch them.

Put Blade on Graham.

Right.

Hey, sucker!

The shit's gonna start now.

Why are you joining the rodeo?
Sucking up to the warden?

He's not sucking up. We're having fun.
We showed aptitude for it.

Aptitude? You hear that?

Lay off. The man's doing what he's got
to. They were gonna cut his nuts off.

- I don't want to discuss my nuts.
- Work your tail off...

Don't sweat it.

...then get replaced by an amateur
who knows nothing.

He may be going into the rodeo,
but he may not come out.

Oh, what a horse.
Jesus, what a beauty.

What a sweet, beautiful face he has.
Look, he's listening to us.

He's listening to every word we say,
I bet. Okay, sweetheart, here I come.

- Don't be misled. He's a chute fighter.
- Hello.

- He'll try to kill you in the chute.
- I don't think so. I'd love to try him.

Aren't you rushing a bit?

Did you see the look he gave?
He's a sweetheart, a pussycat.

- I've never ridden a real horse.
- Remember, no spurs in the belly.

- Not in the belly.
- Spurs high.

Okay. Well, this should be a snap.
Let her rip!

Skip! Skip! Are you all right?

I'm fine. I wanted to see
what it's like to get thrown.

Grossberger, I'm fine.
You can put me down now.

You get a little overprotective
sometimes. Okay, where's that sucker?

Now, let me explain to you
about bulls, okay?

A bull is the most evil, disgusting,
and crafty sucker in the world.

He'll snot on you, fart on you, do
anything he can to mash out your brain.

The worst kind of bull is the one
that won't do nothing.

Just stand there. Look at you.

That means he's studying you.

Learning your weak spots...

...and remembering them for
the time he prances on your head.

Blade, you got it wrong. I'm a clown.

I shoot firecrackers off...

...there's a little car
with midgets....

- That ain't no rodeo clown.
- I know--

A rodeo clown is the most
dangerous job in the world.

He's the one that
gets closest to the bull.

- He gets the best of the bull.
- I don't want--

- Hook to the left, hook to the side--
- Blade--

If the bull rider is in danger,
he's got to protect him.

Even if it means
getting his ribs pulled out!

- And being freight-trained.
- Freight-trained?

Run over, just like a freight train.
Only with a bull, it's worse.

A freight train don't back up
and finish the job.

Later I'll show you how
to lie on a stretcher...

- ...when they come to pick you up.
- What?

Right. Now, let's practice trying
to sucker the bull out of the chute.

The warden wants you in one
piece till after the rodeo.

- Then your ass belongs to me, got that?
- What about balloons and stuff?

Every bull has a secret word
that makes him crazy.

Sends him into his wildest ride.

Your job is to figure out that word.

Blade....

Bull.... Let me see....
Rumpelstiltskin?

Uh.... Malt liquor.

Come on. Come on, bull.

Bull? Come on.

Come on.

Hey. Hey, sexy.

Shit.

Oh, you motherfucker!

Congratulations! You found the word!

Over there.

Teresa....

- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?

A little groggy from looking
at records of tattoos.

Who got which, when and where.
So far, nothing.

The court refuses to act
on the little girl's word.

Doesn't look too good, huh?

- Can you think of anything else?
- Some small piece of evidence...

- ...anything.
- Anything.

This may sound silly, but have you seen
A Place in the Sun?

A Place in the Sun with
Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift?

Yeah.

That's my favourite.

Your favourite? That's your--?
That's my favourite too!

What does that tell us?

Maybe we're not such strangers
as circumstances would imply.

Maybe we're not.

You know, I'm working on a new play,
and I just wondered...

...would you like to come
to the opening night with me?

I'd love to.

You....

Maybe we ought to get you
out of here first, though.

Okay. Shoot.

Supposed to be doing time.
It's a goddamned vacation for them.

How would you like an old-time
prison funeral?

Could you go for that?

Just relax. He's gonna draw Untamed
in the bronc event.

A hundred and twenty-five years
without a whiff of pussy.

- How'd that make you feel, Mason?
- Mean. Very, very mean.

Hello? Mr. Len Garber, please.

Did he leave word
where he could be reached?

Okay. Thank you.

Operator? Please get me the sheriff's
office. This is an emergency.

I've been looking for you.

- Where've you been?
- Look at this.

It's so simple it is absurd.
It should be laughed out of court.

We'll talk about that later.

- They're gonna kill your clients.
- They're innocent!

That's not the point.
I'll explain it later.

We have to get to the rodeo.

It's across town.
We'll never make it.

We have to try.
Will you shut up and hurry?

I almost blew it.
How can I call myself a lawyer?

That's it for the preliminaries.

Get ready for the event
that you all came to see.

It's our featured event,
the Top Hand competition.

- How's your secret weapon, Wally?
- Fit as a fiddle, Henry.

- It's a nice day for it, ain't it?
- Sure is.

- Come on down, got your Coke here....
- Peanuts, popcorn....

Now remember, spur him high
on the shoulders, okay?

Try to keep a good rhythm.

It's time for the wild and woolly
Top Hand competition.

Leading off for Glenboro Prison
is New Yorker Skip Donahue...

...doing time for making a withdrawal
without having an account.

He told the judge he was just trying
to help New York by using our money.

- I hope I can remember everything.
- Good luck.

Thanks. That's very kind of you.

That's our boy, baby!
That's our boy there!

What do you say about that, folks?
He's got some cowboy in him, huh?

He sure does. You old sly bones.

- Where'd you get him?
- We'll see.

Next up, five-time winner and current
champion, Caesar Geronimo.

Got caught selling
some white powder at the border.

And by white powder,
I don't mean talcum powder.

His horse is so tough it's already
put 11 cowboys in the hospital.

And that's just by breaking wind
on them.

All right! That cowboy must have
some real strong glue in the saddle.

Ladies and gentlemen,
that man of mischief from Oklahoma...

...last year's runner-up is getting set
in chute number five, Ringo Stapelton.

He's doing 99 years for kidnapping
a trainload of college girls...

...on their way to a singing
contest in Las Vegas.

Oh, Ringo's in trouble already. He's
down, and the bull's on top of him!

Next is Bucky Stillwater...

...found guilty of misplacing
$4 million worth of insurance money.

The money was never recovered...

...which is why Bucky has more friends
among the inmates...

...than any other prisoner
in the whole system.

Whatever Bucky wants, old Bucky gets.
Except for parole, that is....

Don't be too surprised if Bucky's out
in time to enjoy that loot...

...before old age catches up
with him.

Third up, out of chute number four,
is the Glenboro Prison entry.

It's that city slicker again, who's
giving the champ a run for his money.

Can he keep it up?
We're gonna all find out...

...whether it's luck or if he's
really got some redneck in him.

Up on Flapjack, here's Skip Donahue.

Okay. A little tighter, Jesus.

- How's that?
- That's it.

Watch his head.

- Ready?
- Okay, let's go.

Open the gate!

Seem to have ourselves
a problem down here.

He'll be killed in there!

Some son of a bitch
put a lock on the gate!

That New Yorker is full of surprises.

Now here's last year's champ,
Caesar Geronimo...

...riding a bull that nobody
can ride for more than 3 seconds.

A bull by the name of Tornado.

Now you know why he's
our defending champ.

Well, folks, take a breather while
the judges tally up the scores.

We'll pause for the cause...

...and I'll be back in just a bit
to announce the winner.

Hold on, folks, we got
ourselves the first...

...push in the history of the prison
rodeo.

There ain't gonna be any push.
I was ready for this.

Ladies and gentlemen,
hold on to your hats.

As a tiebreaker, both wardens
have okayed the Hard Money event...

...the single most dangerous
event in all of rodeo competition.

All you have to do to win this event...

...is snatch a little sack of money
between the horns of a bull.

As soon as our two boys get ready,
we'll start our final competition.

Are you ready for the main event?

Well, listen to this. Warden Beatty
has just informed me...

...that he and Warden Sampson
have so much faith in their boys...

...that instead of splitting the purse
as usual...

...it'll be a winner-take-all event.

I'm saying that $50, 000 in bills
is gonna be tied...

...between the horns of one of the
meanest bulls around.

And whichever inmate grabs the money
is the winner.

And here they are,
ladies and gentlemen.

I get nervous sometimes before
these things.

- Word is that your warden's a nice guy.
- He's a prick.

A prick? Boy, did I hear that wrong.
Well, is it true you're an ass-kisser?

- You're gonna get a punch in the mouth.
- I'm just telling you what I heard.

I'm an ass-kisser too.

We're both dumb if no one's gonna
get this money except two pricks.

Stands to reason, doesn't it?

I'll distract the bull,
you grab the money. Okay?

What difference
does it make who wins?

Why don't we give the cash
to the prisoners?

I'll tell you what. You do whatever you
think is best, okay? Get ready.

The winner, and champion for the
sixth time in a row, Caesar Geronimo.

Goddamn!

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!
That boy's lost his mind.

Holy cow, there's gonna
be hell to pay for that.

Now to wrap up our day, here's
the greased-pig sacking contest.

- Holy shit!
- What?

What the hell is going--?
Are you okay?

They're in the camper!

Look, I'm sorry, but we're
in a real hurry, okay?

What is going on?

I'm sorry.
Harry Monroe, Skip Donahue...

...Rory Schultebrand.

- My wife, Teresa, and my brother, Ramon.
- Hello.

- Hey, guys. That is yours.
- Where you guys going?

Veracruz. We got some family there.

- Hey, Rory going with you?
- Try to be brave, Sweetpants.

- Oh, man! Take care.
- Be a good girl, now.

Ramon! A su casa, honey.
It's me and you!

He kissed me. Damn!

Let's go.

We got to get the hell out of here!

Wait a minute.

- How'd you get out?
- We busted out.

- But you're free!
- You're damn right!

- No, they caught the other two guys.
- Thanks to Meredith.

Oh!

You mean, we're really free?
We're free!

- You're a hell of a lawyer.
- Thanks. Thanks very much.

- Good luck.
- Thank you.

- Thanks for everything.
- It's okay.

Thank you.

It's okay.

Come on. Let's get out of this state
before somebody changes their mind.

- Aren't you forgetting something?
- What?

What about my opening night?

Am I still invited?

Holy mackerel! How many times
do I have to ask you?

Come on.

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