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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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All right, I've had it.
2
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:30,413
I'm sick of coming home,
seeing you holding down the couch...
3
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:33,293
...watching Oprah
and stuffing your face full of bonbons.
4
00:01:33,540 --> 00:01:38,660
Now, you either get your lazy ass in the
kitchen and cook me a meal or get out.
5
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:46,575
Come on, Al, Marcie won't let me back
in the house until I have a job.
6
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:50,859
If you kick me out too,
where will I go?
7
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,491
Don't know, don't care.
8
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:58,014
Sure, you working people don't know
how tough it is to find a job these days.
9
00:01:59,060 --> 00:02:01,654
Kelly, I got you another job.
10
00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:12,816
Damn, I'm a good agent.
11
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:16,496
If I was a hot young chick,
I couldn't keep my hands off myself.
12
00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:20,736
Well, I guess that makes you
a hot young chick.
13
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,740
Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you
who got the part...
14
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:27,771
...in the next Romantic Roast
commercial.
15
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,929
Oh, please, Bud, please tell me.
16
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,734
Well, she's blond.
She's standing right next to me...
17
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:37,898
...and she doesn't have a brain
in her head.
18
00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:42,053
Could you be
a little bit more specific?
19
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,534
- You, you dullard.
- What?
20
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:48,419
- I got the job? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- You got the job.
21
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,417
All I did was read lines
at the audition.
22
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,850
I mean, I didn't even have to
uncross my--
23
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:58,015
My fingers or anything.
24
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,769
Look, you start shooting tonight.
25
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,456
Congratulations, pumpkin.
But what exactly is Romantic Roast?
26
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,419
It's this brown powder stuff
that when you add hot water...
27
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,417
...it becomes coffee.
28
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,618
I know. I know, I didn't believe it either,
but it's true.
29
00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:18,375
That settles it. If someone with
the IQ of a french fry can get a job...
30
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:20,252
...you can too.
31
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,413
Yeah.
32
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,651
Wait-- Hey.
33
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:26,539
Now, listen, Jefferson.
34
00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:29,499
I also want you to drive these kids
anywhere they wanna go.
35
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,458
You want me to be a chauffeur?
36
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:32,888
That's humiliating.
37
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:37,179
No, Jefferson, sleeping
in Peg's couch dust is humiliating.
38
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:40,412
This is just a job
so Marcie will take you back.
39
00:03:40,660 --> 00:03:45,450
Look, I appreciate that, Al,
but I can't take money from your kids.
40
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:48,049
Sure you can.
You're stronger than the boy.
41
00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:52,892
Just shake him down
when the girl's not looking.
42
00:03:56,260 --> 00:04:00,333
Okay, folks,
Romantic Roast commercial, take one.
43
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:05,216
Yep, Lance, the really cute
building super, is on his way up...
44
00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:09,254
...so I've cleverly jammed
the disposal.
45
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:15,259
Yep, I put ABBA's greatest hits
on the stereo...
46
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:20,534
...and, well, of course,
I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
47
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:23,852
I'll let you know how it goes.
Okay, bye.
48
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:30,179
I'm here to fix the disposal.
49
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,933
Cut.
50
00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:41,731
Very amusing Mike Tyson
impression.
51
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:47,660
This time, could you try it in a register
everyone can hear, not just dogs?
52
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,729
And of course,
I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
53
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,938
I'll let you know how it goes. Bye.
54
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:01,769
I'm here to fix the disposal.
55
00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:09,419
Cut.
56
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,572
I'm curious.
57
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:18,130
Exactly what part on Baywatch
did you play?
58
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,217
Well, the voice of Lex,
the friendly dolphin.
59
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:25,336
All right, Lex, you're fired.
60
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,050
Okay. Let's just call it a day,
shall we?
61
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,858
Bite me.
62
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:35,176
Mr. Director...
63
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,097
...look, I think I know
who can play Lance.
64
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:42,856
Oh, I don't think you're right
for the part. You look like he sounds.
65
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:45,098
I heard that.
66
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:49,488
Not me.
I'm talking about my other client.
67
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,699
Yeah, and put 50 bucks
on Agile Angus to place.
68
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,373
Yeah.
69
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:58,498
Mr. D'Arcy, I think I can get you a job
in this commercial.
70
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:02,214
Why? What have I ever done to you?
71
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:05,853
It's a job so Mrs. D'Arcy
will let you back in the house.
72
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,772
Hey, yeah. Maybe you're right.
73
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:13,808
I mean, you know,
it's not really work.
74
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:16,696
It's acting.
75
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:23,373
And of course,I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
76
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:27,136
Okay. I'll let you knowhow it goes. Bye.
77
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,131
I'm here to fix the disposal.
78
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:36,418
You know, I can't figure outwhat happened.
79
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:41,889
I see this all the time.
80
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,410
Can I thank youwith a cup of coffee?
81
00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:57,579
Romantic Roast?
82
00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:00,336
Romantic Roast.
83
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:06,171
Long after the coffee's gone...
84
00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:09,059
...the romance lingers on and on.
85
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,656
Romantic Roast.
86
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,413
Congratulations, pumpkin.
87
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,776
As you know,
acting careers are fleeting.
88
00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:20,893
So you should give me your money
so I can invest it wisely for you.
89
00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:24,809
Oh, Daddy, you do love me.
90
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:26,618
I do now.
91
00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:32,694
This commercial is the best thing
that happened to us.
92
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:35,010
Well, for once, Al, we agree.
93
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:39,253
With Jefferson employed,
our relationship has never been better.
94
00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:44,532
There he is. It's Lance,
Mr. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
95
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:53,970
Excuse me. Excuse me. But you know,
I'm Mrs. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
96
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:59,091
Only on TV.
97
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:02,571
I'm the real
Mrs. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
98
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:05,818
Oh, you're his mother.
99
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,930
No, you twit. I'm his wife.
100
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:15,934
That's impossible. This map to
the star's homes says he lives alone.
101
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:18,171
Give me that.
102
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,813
What lowlife would sell you this?
103
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,060
Two hundred seventy-five, 300...
104
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:27,894
...350.
105
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,936
Al, you've got to do something...
106
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:36,018
...about this ruthless exploitation
of our families.
107
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:39,539
You're right, and I will.
108
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,209
There you go.
109
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:46,732
May I present
the autographed Lance pump.
110
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:50,410
Price: 79.95.
111
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:54,735
Price Gary thinks
we're selling it for: 9.95.
112
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,134
Let the purse-jacking begin.
113
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:12,859
Ma'am, groping Lance
will cost you 100 bucks.
114
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,448
Grope on.
115
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,737
Jefferson?
116
00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:26,253
- There you are.
- How did you find me here?
117
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,768
Bud was also selling maps...
118
00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:31,609
...to "where the stars are making
whorish public appearances."
119
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:36,291
Did you know that Michael Cane is
down at Orange Julius as we speak?
120
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,258
Why would you sell
your good name...
121
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:41,133
...to line the polyester pockets
of the lowest man on earth?
122
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:44,690
And you wonder
why stars leave their wives.
123
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:48,818
Look, Marcie,
this is all harmless fun.
124
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:51,494
This is just Jefferson's
15 minutes of fame.
125
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:55,415
Yeah, it will be over
before your hair grows out.
126
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,970
Mr. D'Arcy, great news.
127
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:02,292
The people from Romantic Roast called
and they want you and Kelly...
128
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,536
- ...for two more commercials.
- Hey, no way!
129
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,938
Lance, why don't you finishyour Romantic Roast...
130
00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:17,098
...while it's still hot and steamy.
131
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:24,448
Lila, that's not the only thingthat's hot and steamy.
132
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,852
Oh, Lance.
133
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:32,695
Oh, Lila.
134
00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:36,049
Oh, shoot me.
135
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,492
Romantic Roast,what Juan Valdez drinks...
136
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,294
...when the missus is out of town.
137
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:50,809
Al, don't you see where this is going?
Jefferson is getting famous...
138
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,215
...and more women
are throwing themselves at him.
139
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,617
He'll be gone. I'll be all alone.
It will be just like when Steve left.
140
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,414
It's a very scary thing.
Do you understand?
141
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:06,732
Yes, I do, Marcie, and to help you out,
I made a top 10 list of things...
142
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,852
...to make you more attractive
for your--
143
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,579
For your sex-symbol husband.
144
00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:23,016
Number 10, wear traditional Islamic
garb, covering all but the eyes.
145
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:28,372
Number nine,
feather-removing electrolysis.
146
00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:31,700
Number eight, ski mask.
147
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:35,894
Number seven,
sew up holes in ski mask.
148
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:41,609
Number six, hire attractive woman
to stand in front of you at all times.
149
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:45,136
Number five, beak job.
150
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:49,579
Number four,
put paper bag over ski mask.
151
00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:51,652
Number three, shave head...
152
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:55,011
...tattoo Cindy Crawford's face
on back of head...
153
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,972
...learn to walk backwards.
154
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:08,179
Number two, poke out eyes
of every man on earth.
155
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:13,610
Number one, get president
to make every day Halloween.
156
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,416
Yeah, I don't understand you, Al.
157
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:23,372
Although perhaps that's the fault...
158
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:27,539
...of that cow-sized tongue
inside your peanut-sized head.
159
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:30,814
Hey, do I make fun of you?
160
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:39,369
Doesn't it bother you
that your daughter and my husband...
161
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:41,616
...are living a soap opera romance?
162
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,088
No, Marcie.
163
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,655
But the difference
between me and you, Marcie...
164
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,973
...outside the fact that my feet
aren't a Chinese delicacy...
165
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:53,852
...is that I know the difference
between fact and fiction.
166
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,136
Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Dad.
167
00:12:56,340 --> 00:13:00,049
Because I was worried you might have
a problem with this next commercial.
168
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:04,259
- Why? What's in this commercial?
- Well, Mr. D'Arcy and Kelly have to--
169
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,889
- They have to kiss.
- What?
170
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,651
I'll kill him first.
171
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:13,779
Dad, it's only a commercial. One
that's gonna make us a lot of money.
172
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:16,295
Bud, there's some things
more important than money.
173
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,776
Kelly's lips are never gonna go
where Marcie's lips have been.
174
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:27,056
Yeah? Well, my Jefferson's lips
are never gonna go...
175
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,728
...where everyone else's lips
have already been.
176
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,212
That's right!
177
00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:35,970
Hey, what are you hinting at?
178
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:39,298
I'll break it to you later.
Now let's deal with this situation.
179
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,617
Oh, well, what are we worried about?
Kelly will never go for this.
180
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,412
Hey, did you hear the good news?
181
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:52,216
We're gonna kiss on television.
182
00:13:57,020 --> 00:14:00,979
Jefferson, honey,
can I have a word with you...
183
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:05,492
...in our own kitchen
by the recently sharpened knives?
184
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:10,250
- Goodbye, Lila.
- Bye, Lance.
185
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,690
Kelly, we have to have a talk.
186
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:18,330
As her agent, I strongly advise
my client not to listen to you.
187
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:21,612
Shut up or it's five across the eyes.
188
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:26,215
Kelly, I've given you
good fatherly advice in the past.
189
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:29,020
Daddy, you have never given me
fatherly advice.
190
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,899
Then here's some advice
from someone 100 pounds heavier...
191
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:35,809
...with an eight-inch reach advantage.
You are not kissing the neighbor.
192
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:39,769
Daddy, I am grown up. And you can't
tell me what to do anymore, so:
193
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,456
Kelly, I know you're grown up
even though you still live at home...
194
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,817
...and occasionally pick up the phone
thinking it's the doorbell...
195
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,648
...but, sweetheart, look.
196
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:52,933
Why do you think I carry
your baby picture in my wallet?
197
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:55,171
That's not me, Dad.
198
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,533
That's the picture
that came with the wallet.
199
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:02,534
Hey, when I bought this wallet, I had
a choice. A little boy or a little girl.
200
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:07,655
- I picked a little girl. She's symbolic.
- She's Chinese, Dad.
201
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,537
That's what I was hoping
you would be.
202
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:17,019
Daddy, I'm sorry I'm not Chinese.
I didn't mean it.
203
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,530
Oh, sweetheart, all right.
That's all right, now.
204
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:24,855
Daddy, what is really the problem?
205
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:28,695
Well, because
I wanna keep you pure.
206
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:37,888
Well, we better call Mr. Peabody
and the WABAC machine.
207
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:40,779
Daddy.
208
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:44,215
This commercial is just pretend.
209
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,736
And of course I'm gonna stay pure
until I meet the right man.
210
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,333
In the meantime, why don't you
come to the set tomorrow...
211
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,337
...and you'll see how innocent it is.
212
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:59,333
And if you don't like what you see,
you know what you can do.
213
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,531
Beat everybody up?
214
00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:05,293
You are my daddy.
215
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:12,493
Actors on the set for the reading.
216
00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:14,976
So, what kind of kiss
do you think it will be?
217
00:16:15,180 --> 00:16:17,011
There's only one kind.
218
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,057
Man faces woman, closes his eyes...
219
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,013
...imagines he's with someone else,
just like sex.
220
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,659
You truly are a Neanderthal.
221
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:30,132
I mean, there's all kinds of kisses.
Open mouth, closed mouth, tongues.
222
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:31,972
Tongues?
223
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:35,850
The tongue has no place in passion.
224
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,889
Hey, excuse me, Mr. Director.
225
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,893
I'd like to talk to you
about this kissing with tongues.
226
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:46,610
Wrong set. They're casting
Show Boys down the hall.
227
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:51,536
No, no. Kelly's my daughter. I wanna
make sure this kiss is quick and clean.
228
00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:54,931
Oh, well, they're not going to kiss
anymore. We did some research...
229
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:59,372
...and the audience felt that kissing
after the third date was too '80s.
230
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,369
I'm glad this country
has finally come to its senses.
231
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:05,457
So, what are you gonna
have them do?
232
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:15,057
What's that bed for?
233
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:18,015
Oh, come on, Mr. Bundy.
You're a married man.
234
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:19,693
Yeah?
235
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:23,217
What's that bed for?
236
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:26,934
We, in the business, call it sex.
237
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,092
I don't care what you call it.
My daughter's not doing it.
238
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:33,090
Mr. Bundy,
they're not really having sex.
239
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:37,578
In fact, the commercial takes place
after sex, when they're having coffee.
240
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:43,812
How can someone drink coffee
in their sleep?
241
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:55,335
I'll handle this, Magilla. Look...
242
00:17:56,220 --> 00:18:01,738
...my husband is not having
postcoital coffee with anyone.
243
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,572
I don't care how much you pay him.
244
00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,096
How does $50,000 sound?
245
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:09,010
Quiet on the set.
246
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:12,778
- Dad, did you hear that?
- I just still can't figure it out.
247
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:16,052
Sex, then coffee. It's just wrong.
248
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:21,257
Okay, I know you just got
these new lines.
249
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,536
So we're gonna have
a cold reading on set...
250
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:24,968
...and see what we've got.
251
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:32,410
Good morning, darling.
252
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:36,619
Wow, Lance,
you sure fixed the squeak in my bed.
253
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,217
You're wonderful.
254
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:43,009
So the sex
was good for you too, huh?
255
00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:45,490
No, it was awful...
256
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:49,455
...but the coffee
makes it all worthwhile.
257
00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:53,812
Then you sip, and then you smile
and then we're done.
258
00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:55,618
Great. How do those lines feel?
259
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,295
- Brilliant.
- Encore.
260
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:01,249
Problem over here. Look.
261
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:06,733
What exactly does she mean,
"It was awful"?
262
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,330
- She means you're bad in bed.
- I am not.
263
00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,650
Okay, Lance is bad in bed.
264
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,773
You don't seem to understand.
265
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,619
To millions of women out there,
I am Lance.
266
00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:19,215
Okay? I can't have them thinking
that I'm bad in bed.
267
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:22,139
Now, how about if I'm good,
and she's bad?
268
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,496
That's the way it is in real life.
269
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:35,448
You're gonna have to
rewrite this script, pal.
270
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:38,772
We can't do that. See, this commercial
is geared towards women...
271
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,256
...and we all know
they can never be satisfied.
272
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,656
- That's true.
- That's true.
273
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:49,613
Which works for us. Because if men
really were good in bed...
274
00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:52,618
...women wouldn't need
flavored coffee.
275
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,058
Look, pal, I'm a real man...
276
00:19:57,300 --> 00:20:01,339
...and I can't pretend
to be anything less.
277
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,250
Marcie, could I have a ride home?
278
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,133
Take the bus
with the other real men.
279
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:18,178
Wait, Mr. D'Arcy. This happens
to older married men all the time.
280
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:23,330
I've-- I've heard.
281
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,370
Well, that's a wrap.
282
00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:28,653
Actors.
283
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:31,778
Maybe we should rethink
this whole campaign.
284
00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:33,453
I've got it.
285
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:38,296
Frogs. Coffee-drinking frogs.
286
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,172
Mr. Director, listen.
287
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:43,490
Before you go with frogs,
hear me out.
288
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,299
Action.
289
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:50,898
Wow, Vance, you fixed the squeak
in my bed. You're wonderful.
290
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:58,693
So the sex was--
What? What's the line?
291
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,453
Good for you.
292
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:04,010
So the sex was good for you?
293
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,977
No, it was awful.
294
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:10,138
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
295
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,895
Cut. Cut.
296
00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:19,938
So the sex was good
for you too, huh?
297
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:25,857
No, it was awful.
298
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:30,249
Cut. Cut.
Thank you. That's enough.
299
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:34,616
I'm going home. Someone get me
some frogs and some bourbon.
300
00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:56,171
So the sex was good for you too?
301
00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,895
No, it was awful.
302
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:03,615
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
303
00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:06,809
Hey, how was that?
304
00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:10,252
Great.
305
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,536
Let's try it again, Al.
306
00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:16,857
So the sex was good for you too?
307
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:19,011
No, it was awful.
308
00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:22,656
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
309
00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:26,456
Well, that was good for me.
Was that good for you, Al?
24910
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