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1
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,417
Hey, steve.
2
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,256
Hey, eddo.
3
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:25,259
Wow, this is the earliest
You've ever come home
4
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,760
From a date with greta.
5
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:30,564
Yeah, well, greta had
A cold sore on her lip.
6
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:34,302
Oh, yeah. Heaven forbid
You'd wanna talk to the girl.
7
00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,672
We talked, but there's
Only so much you can say
8
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,808
About a cold sore.
9
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:44,178
What's all this stuff,
Fireworks?
10
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:48,015
Ah, yes, but not
Just any fireworks.
11
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,785
These rockets are
Packed with...P.E.P.
12
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,922
P.E.P.?
13
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:58,092
Ah, yes--
Phonic exploding powder.
14
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,961
It's a gunpowder detonated
Not by fire--
15
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,664
Nay, nay--but by sound.
16
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,001
Sound?
17
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,370
[whispering]
Sound?
18
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,574
You don't have to whisper.
It's triggered by music,
19
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,877
Namely the climax to my
Favorite polka classic,
20
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:20,848
Roll out the barrel.
* roll out the barrel *
21
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,156
Why would you wanna invent
A crazy thing like that?
22
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:31,925
It was saturday.
It was rainin'.
23
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:35,196
Steve, I'm real tired. I got
An early class in the morning.
24
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,930
I'm about
To get some sleep.
25
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,200
Eddo, I've left
Something on your bed
26
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,435
I might wanna get
Out of the way.
27
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,303
What is it?
28
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,338
My grub worm circus.
29
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,674
Steve.
30
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,876
[whistles]
31
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,653
* roll out the barrel *
32
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,391
* roll out
The barrel of fun *
33
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,328
* roll out the barrel *
34
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:10,964
* we've got
The blues on the run *
35
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:14,802
* zing, boom, tararrel *
36
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:18,539
* ring out
A song of good cheer *
37
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:22,176
* now's the time
To roll the barrel *
38
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,246
* for the gang's
All here *
39
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,373
Carl: oh, steve...
40
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,943
Would you come here
For a sec?
41
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,678
Steve: uh-uh.
42
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,492
[glissando]
43
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,663
[boogie woogie plays]
44
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,180
Ahh, I still got it.
45
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,949
Ha ha ha.
46
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,552
[muttering]
47
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:55,436
Uh-oh, I've seen
This mood before.
48
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:58,306
Donut world run out
Of bear claws?
49
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,842
No!
50
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,746
Today was much more fun
Than that, harriette.
51
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,180
Today, once again,
52
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,417
A younger,
Less experienced man
53
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,520
Was promoted
To captain over me.
54
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,290
Oh.
55
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,526
I'm sorry, carl.
56
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,094
Why be sorry
Over a thing like that,
Harriette?
57
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,998
Hey, I got to go
To a party.
58
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,067
There were balloons,
59
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,069
And I got to eat
4 pieces
60
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,838
Of "Goodluck,
Larry" cake.
61
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,842
4 pieces?
62
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,678
Well, hey, I figured
If I couldn't have
The man's job,
63
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,682
I could at least have
Most of his cake.
64
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,352
Carl, you should
Be happy for larry.
65
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,987
He probably worked very hard
For that promotion.
66
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:50,658
Worked? Oh, p-lease.
67
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,394
The word is "Schmoozed,"
Harriette.
68
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:56,697
Larry schmoozed his way
To the top.
69
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,600
Oh, he pressed the flesh
And worked the room
70
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,470
And sucked up
Like a shop-vac.
71
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,408
Well, from now on,
I'm gonna do the same.
72
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,209
But that's not
Your style, carl.
73
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,278
Well, it is now.
74
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,981
This is my 20th year
As a cop,
75
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,485
And I'm gonna use it
To throw a schmooze fest.
76
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,288
You mean
A little gathering
At the house?
77
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,790
Oh, no.
78
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:23,724
Little gatherings
79
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,726
Are for
Little people,
Harriette.
80
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,162
And carl winslow
Is not...
81
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,764
A little person.
82
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,235
I'm gonna rent
A banquet hall,
83
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,505
And I'm gonna throw
The biggest bash
84
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,607
The eighth precinct
Has ever seen.
85
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:43,010
I'm gonna invite
The commander,
Chiefs,
86
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,612
Maybe even
The commissioner.
87
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,015
Yep, it's time
For me to sucky-up
To the muck-a-mucks.
88
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,620
Yeah, but that's
Gonna cost a lot
Of bucky-bucks.
89
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,523
Not if you're
Cookin'.
90
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:56,857
Good lucky-luck.
91
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,760
Harriette,
Wait a minute now.
I'm not--
92
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,496
Carl, I don't mind
Helping you out
With this,
93
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:03,931
But I work all day.
94
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,567
I don't have time
To cook for
The eighth precinct.
95
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,101
Well, I'm not talkin'--
96
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,439
If you insist
On throwing this party,
Then do it right.
97
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,007
Open up your wallet
And spend some money.
98
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,709
But...
99
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,088
Hello.
Is bob walls there?
100
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,826
Is jim walls there?
101
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,497
Are there
Any walls there?
102
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,667
No walls?
103
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,302
Then how do you hold
Up your roof?
104
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,104
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
105
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:45,338
Gimme some.
106
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,675
Good one, 3j. Let's call
The car wash again
107
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,177
And ask for
Anita waxjob.
108
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,345
Nah. Let's go
See a movie.
109
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,848
Can't. We don't
Have any money.
110
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,750
So.
111
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,019
I'm not sneaking
Into the movies, 3j.
112
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:02,790
Hand the man
Some respect here,
Richard.
113
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,225
Does this look like
The face of a kid
114
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,094
Who would sneak
In the movies?
115
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,829
Oh, yeah.
116
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,030
Well, it's not.
117
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,366
This is the face
Of a natural-born
Money magnet.
118
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,235
This is
The face of a kid
119
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,870
Who'd rather wait
For his allowance.
120
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:20,140
Okay, fine. You go
See the movie
Whenever.
121
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,843
I'll go see
The movie today,
Maybe twice.
122
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,780
And how are you
Gonna do that?
123
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,415
I'm gonna ask
People for money
124
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,950
Tell 'em
It's for charity.
125
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:30,951
What charity?
126
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,087
The poor unfortunate
Children's charity.
127
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,925
But that's lying.
128
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,562
No, it's not.
I'm poor, and that's
Real unfortunate.
129
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,973
Ohh.
130
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,007
Ohh.
131
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,042
Wow.
132
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,209
Ooh, tasty.
133
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,846
Ohh...Salty.
Ohh.
134
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,347
Guys...
135
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,615
Oh, boy.
136
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,951
Delicious.
Oh, wow.
137
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:04,818
Guys...
138
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,319
Oh, I like
The shells.
139
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,355
Guys! Guys!
140
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,857
Yes? Yes?
141
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:15,162
You two are
A little freaky
With those nuts.
142
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,697
Mmm.
143
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,805
Oh, boy, highway robbery.
144
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:28,241
These people are pirates,
Every last one of 'em.
145
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,877
What's the matter, dad?
146
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,979
Oh, I'm trying
To get a caterer,
147
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,215
And the lowest
Estimate I've gotten
Is $3,000. Hmm.
148
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,952
Mmm, hiring a caterer?
But why, elder winslow?
149
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,155
Well, don't you know?
150
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:46,426
Carl's throwing
A big suck-up bash.
151
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,161
It's called
Politicking, steve.
152
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,998
Politicking, sucking up--
Same deal.
153
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,066
Uh, myra...
154
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,367
Uh-huh.
155
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:58,906
You know, steve tells me
That you're a great cook.
156
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,809
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
Ha ha ha ha.
157
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:05,345
Ha ha. Nonsense!
Why, she packs me
A lunch everyday.
158
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,280
Look at this pot.
I'm a whale.
159
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:12,653
Yes. Well, look,
Do you think you can
Whip up something
160
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,856
For 50 people,
Say for $1,000?
161
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,759
I suppose, if I can
Charge anything
For my own labor.
162
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,327
You'd do that
For me?
163
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,763
Oh, what a doll.
164
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,200
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha.
165
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,636
[clears throat]
166
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:32,606
So, what am I
Going to do
For music?
167
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,809
Music...
168
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,746
Nah.
169
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,254
Eddie.
Huh?
170
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,456
Listen, son,
Are you, um...
171
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,559
Are you still
Hangin' around with
Those deadbeat musicians
172
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,594
I told ya
Not to hang out with?
173
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:57,364
Yeah.
Good.
174
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,834
You think you guys
Could work up a few numbers
For my party?
175
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,469
Can we play the stuff
We want,
176
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,639
Or do we have to play
Lame, boring
Old people music?
177
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,574
Lame, boring
Old people music.
178
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:08,909
Ohh.
179
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,044
But I'll pay ya $500.
Alright!
180
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,113
Which I'll deduct
From the year's rent
181
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,181
You already owe me.
182
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,049
Ohh.
183
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,384
Carl: laura.
184
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,189
Alright, I'll help
Serve the food.
185
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,624
Sweetheart, I was gonna
Ask you to park cars,
186
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:28,095
But that's just as good.
Ha ha ha ha.
187
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,732
Carl, carl, everybody's
Got something to do
Except for me.
188
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,802
What can I do?
What can I do?
What can I do?
189
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,636
Well, steve let's see. Uh...
190
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:39,472
Oh, we do need salsa
For the nachos.
191
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,641
Ooh, great.
Where can I get it?
192
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,443
Mexico.
193
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,712
Hey.
194
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,117
[humming]
195
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,451
Hey, myra.
196
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,386
Well, hiya there,
Preteens.
197
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,090
You cooking for
Uncle carl's party?
198
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,226
Does my smile
Light up a room?
199
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,065
So, uh, why aren't you
Cooking at your house?
200
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,334
My mother doesn't allow
Cooking in our kitchen.
201
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,070
She says it makes a mess.
202
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:12,305
Does she allow food
In the refrigerator?
203
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,341
Yes.
204
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,043
But it bothers her.
205
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,649
Now, as much as I love
You two little scamps,
206
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,285
Get your tiny heinies
Out of here. Bye now.
207
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,690
Pepper...
Where's mr. Pepper?
208
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:31,725
[door closes]
209
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,927
[humming gleefully]
210
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,865
Oh.
211
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,070
Bingo--fresh pepper.
Ha ha.
212
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,478
This'll give
My stuffing some zing.
213
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,229
You're right, vivian.
The kids shouldn't
Have done that.
214
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,699
No, they shouldn't
Have done that.
215
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,268
I agree.
They shouldn't
Have done that.
216
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,405
Uh--vivian, I gotta run.
Someone's at the door.
217
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:22,075
Yeah, yeah--I know,
They shouldn't have
Done that.
218
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,279
Whoa.
Get over here.
219
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,782
Sit down.
We need to have
A little talk.
220
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,283
What about?
221
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:34,687
About
The poor unfortunate
Children's charity.
222
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,256
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
223
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,092
Vivian lathrop
Told me that you two
Were collecting money
224
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,493
From the whole neighborhood.
225
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,030
Not really.
A lot of people
Weren't home.
226
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,568
You know,
It's wrong to take money
Under false pretenses.
227
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,470
It's like stealing.
228
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,372
We're sorry.
229
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,976
What did you do
With the money
You collected?
230
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,445
We used the money
To go to the movies.
231
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,383
Okay, here's the deal.
232
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,688
You're gonna do chores
For all the neighbors
You collected money from
233
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,191
Until it's all
Paid back in full.
234
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,559
Yes, ma'am.
235
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,829
Also, there'll
Be no movies, tv,
Or video games
236
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,064
For a week.
237
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,531
Ouch!
238
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:22,102
If you
Can't do the time,
Don't do the crime.
239
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,571
Come on,
Let me fix you
Something to eat.
240
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,075
Oh, and by the way,
241
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,678
I know about
Those crank calls, too.
242
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,214
Boy, you find out
About everything.
243
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,416
And don't you forget it.
Let's go.
244
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,519
[soft music plays]
245
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,723
[gasps]
246
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,425
Commissioner geiss.
247
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,694
Thank you for coming
This evening, sir.
248
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:48,929
It's my pleasure,
Winslow.
249
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,031
Say, this is
Quite an affair.
250
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,200
Well, sir, if there's
One thing I've learned
251
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,635
In the 20 years
Of dodging bullets
252
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,104
And fighting
The good fight
253
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,273
And training 7 guys
Who've been promoted
Ahead of me,
254
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,575
Ya gotta
Give back the good.
255
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,011
Huh?
256
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,346
Well, I mean to say
Is that, uh...
257
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,016
If you're enjoying
The egg rolls
And the nachos,
258
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,951
It's carl winslow's
Humble way of saying
259
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,386
Enjoy the egg rolls
And the nachos.
260
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,323
You tanked, winslow?
261
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:21,394
No, sir. I'm just
Giddy with gladness,
Sir.
262
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,563
Good. Where do we sit?
263
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,265
Right over here.
264
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,571
A charm, harriette.
It's working like
A charm.
265
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,173
It's a nice party,
Carl.
266
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,343
The banner
Is a bit much...
267
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,747
But people are saying
Really nice things
About you.
268
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:44,784
Hey! I'm just kickin' myself for
Not thinking
Of this sooner.
269
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,253
And you just wait, babe.
270
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,156
I'm gonna be a captain
Before we serve dessert.
271
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,225
Chicken--yummy-yummy.
272
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,864
The chickens
Have been deployed,
273
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,033
And they're
Waitin' to be eaten.
274
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,702
What's wrong,
Myra?
275
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:03,971
I'm not sure.
276
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,006
I was about to warm up
This stuffing
277
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,907
When I noticed
It smelled funny.
278
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,176
[sniff]
279
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,443
Hmm.
280
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,014
There's something
Vaguely familiar
About that aroma.
281
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,883
It smelled fine
Before I put in
The pepper.
282
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,152
Well, let me taste.
283
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,592
Ew, tastes funny,
Too. Yuck.
284
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,626
How's my breath?
285
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,661
Ooh. Ooh.
286
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,802
Thank you.
287
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:39,939
Uh, on behalf
Of my lovely wife
Harriette and myself,
288
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,142
I want to thank you all
For coming.
289
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:43,610
You know,
There's a little story
290
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:46,579
Connected to
How I chose the path
To law enforcement--
291
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:47,647
I'm hungry.
292
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,016
So let's eat.
293
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,221
Myra, where did you
Buy this pepper?
294
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,724
I didn't buy it.
It was in a cloth sack
In your kitchen,
295
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,559
It had p.E.P. On it.
296
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,828
What? P.E.P.?
297
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,030
Why, that
Wasn't pepper.
298
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,931
That was my phonic
Exploding powder.
299
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:08,035
These cornish hens
Have been stuffed
With high explosives!
300
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,070
Oh, my god. Are they
Gonna blow up?
301
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,604
Don't worry.
We should be fine
302
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,307
As long as nobody plays
Roll out the barrel.
303
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,043
Are there
Any requests?
304
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,710
Roll out the barrel!
305
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,012
W-w-w-what?
306
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,681
* roll out
The barrel... *
307
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:24,817
No. No. Stop, eddo. No!
308
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:25,852
Everybody.
309
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,754
No, not everybody.
310
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,189
* ...Out the barrel *
311
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,624
* we've got
The blues on the run *
312
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:35,995
Stay away!
Run for your lives!
The chickens are loaded!
313
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,597
Woman: oh, my god.
314
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,233
Run! Run! It's gonna blow!
315
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,669
Come on, the place
Is gonna blow! Go!
316
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,505
Go! Go! Go!
317
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,806
Go!!
318
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,342
[screaming and yelling]
319
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,257
Aah! Aah!
320
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,631
Aah!
321
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,417
Uh...Are there
Any more requests?
322
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,329
Winslow...
323
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,632
Do you know how hard it is
To get chicken grease
324
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,434
Off a glass eye?
325
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,204
No, sir.
326
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,273
My wife is about
To find out.
327
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,178
My office, monday morning,
First thing
328
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,348
And start practicing
Groveling.
329
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,851
I will, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Forgive me, sir.
330
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,187
Not bad. Not bad.
Keep practicing.
331
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,660
You!!
332
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,095
Now, carl! Carl! Carl!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
333
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,634
You--you ruined
My banquet and possibly
My whole career.
334
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,603
Oh, I'm sorry, carl.
335
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:28,107
All my inventions
Are just disasters
Waiting to happen.
336
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,411
[cries]
337
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,980
Oh, take it easy,
Steve.
338
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,482
This one
Is not your fault.
339
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,849
What? What?
340
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,186
Carl, the blame
For what happened tonight
341
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,920
Rests squarely
On your own shoulders.
342
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,455
How do you
Figure that,
Harriette?
343
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,224
You cut
Too many corners,
Carl.
344
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,725
What are you
Talking about?
345
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,261
Carl, instead of hiring
A professional caterer,
346
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,762
You drafted these kids.
347
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,665
And let's be honest.
This whole party thing
348
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,834
Was just a shortcut
To a promotion.
349
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,303
So what?
It would've worked
350
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,571
If the entrees
Had not exploded.
351
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,573
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
352
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,475
Oh, shut up!
353
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,678
Come on, carl.
354
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,348
Glad-handing,
Buttering people up,
355
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,950
Impressing 'em
With this fancy party--
356
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,520
That's not your way.
357
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,621
It isn't?
358
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,424
No.
359
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,092
Carl, you got
To where you are
360
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,062
By hard work
And dedication.
361
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,931
And, honey, when you
Get that promotion,
362
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,868
It's gonna be because
You did a better job
Than the next guy.
363
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,204
I'm sorry,
Sweetheart.
364
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,247
Steve, I'm--I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
365
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,517
That's okay, big guy.
366
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,819
Exploding poultry
Can affect
The best of us.
367
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,589
Hey, winslow.
368
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,291
Oh, y-yes, sir.
369
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,794
I was thinking how you might
Redeem yourself on monday.
370
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,263
Oh, oh,
Name it sir.
371
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,631
Yeah. Bring in the recipe
For those chickens.
372
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,900
My mother-in-law
Is coming to dinner
Next week.
373
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,685
That turkey's not gonna
Blow up, is it?
374
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,353
[chuckles]
375
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,889
Relax, carl. I made
The stuffing myself.
376
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,156
Hmm. Ha ha ha.
377
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,626
Happy turkey day,
Winslows!
378
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,002
Are you two going
To a costume party?
379
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,070
No. The movies.
380
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,773
Half off for pilgrims.
381
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,175
Ohh, steve, be careful
With that rifle-y thing.
382
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,778
Oh, p-lease.
383
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,213
Give me some credit.
384
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,849
This blunderbuss
Is fake. Look. Whoa!
385
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,626
Crusty's costume shop
386
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,529
Will be getting
A very frosty letter
From me.
387
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,501
Not if you don't live
To write it.
388
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,903
Bye. Bye.
389
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,708
Now our thanksgiving
Is ruined!
390
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:16,909
Please, carl.
391
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,346
I've spent
More than one
Thanksgiving
392
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:20,947
With steve urkel.
393
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,418
I have a backup bird.
27174
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