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1
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,513
Mm-mm-mm.
2
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,084
Hey, steve.
3
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,652
Shh! Not when I'm pouring.
4
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:24,325
Whew! Check out
The thong on this babe!
5
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,560
I bet
They call it a thong
6
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:30,331
Because when you
Pull it off,
It goes thong-ong-ong.
7
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:39,473
Harold.
8
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,809
Aah!
9
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,244
What is it, steven?
10
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:46,147
I need some extra time
On my science fair project.
11
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,649
Can I stay after class?
12
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,017
Well, I suppose.
13
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,220
Oh, thanks, teach.
14
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,655
When I publish,
You're in acknowledgment.
15
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,727
Say, eddo, want to
Skip lunch
16
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,695
And do lab work
With me?
17
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,397
[bell rings]
18
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,569
Apparently not.
19
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,175
[giggling]
20
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,977
How you doing,
Yuckel?
21
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,913
Oh, what do you want,
Thornhill?
22
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:23,784
Don't waste your time
On a science fair
Project this year
23
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,953
'cause I'm going
To win first prize.
24
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,657
Yeah? You'd better lay off
The pickles before bedtime,
25
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,325
'cause you're dreaming!
26
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,694
Don't you ever point
A rubber glove at me!
27
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,667
You're wound
A little tight, dexter.
28
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,935
Grab a nap.
29
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,172
Alright for you,
Mr. Brainy pants.
30
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,539
One day
You'll mess up,
31
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,275
And I'll be there
To rub your face in it.
32
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,244
Ooh, I'm just shaking
In my lab coat.
33
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,416
Who calculated the speed
At which a body projected
Horizontally
34
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,884
From a mountain
Will leave the earth
35
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,320
And begin
Revolving around it?
36
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,622
Isaac newton. Who
Founded modern chemistry
37
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:05,259
By experiments leading
To his theory about the
Nature of combustion?
38
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,663
Hah! Antoine lavoisier.
39
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,400
Who assigned the motion
To the earth
40
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,768
After the manner of
The wheel being carried
On its own axis?
41
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,838
Uh...Uh...Johann kepler?
42
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:18,972
[makes buzzer sound]
43
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,375
Wrong! Thanks for
Playing the game.
44
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,750
It was nicolaus copernicus.
45
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,653
Now, scram, you tourist.
46
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,366
[bell rings]
47
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,268
Did you do that?
48
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,135
No.
49
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,538
I didn't do that.
50
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,529
* it's a rare condition *
51
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,063
* in this day and age *
52
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:53,701
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
53
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,904
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
54
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,341
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
55
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:04,745
* well, then, there must
Be some magic clue *
56
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:08,782
* inside these gentle walls *
57
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:12,486
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
58
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,389
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
59
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,561
* as days go by *
60
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:24,598
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
61
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,083
Ma...Platforms?
62
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,618
You're pretty cool.
63
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,587
Then I've been cool
For 20 years
64
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,523
Because that's how old
These shoes are.
65
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,594
I got to talk
To you about steve.
66
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:55,696
Oh, you mean
The explosion?
67
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,199
Steve say he didn't do it,
But nobody believes him.
68
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,801
They want to expel him.
69
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,671
Really? For
A little explosion?
70
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,407
It wasn't that little.
71
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,909
One of the lab tables
Hasn't come down yet.
72
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,347
Well, I really
Feel bad for steve.
73
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,449
Yeah. Me, too.
74
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,819
There may be something
I could do to help him,
75
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,954
But I'd have to
Stick my neck out.
76
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,022
What is it?
77
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,092
I could represent steve
At a student trial.
78
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,527
That's a great idea.
79
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,496
Yeah, I think I'll do it.
80
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,764
But if I won the case,
I'd ruin the party.
81
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,699
What party?
82
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:32,700
The one the kids
Want to throw
83
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,068
The day steve
Gets expelled.
84
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,420
Uh-oh.
85
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,922
Yo, weasel. I don't
See two seats together.
86
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,059
Relax. I'll handle it.
87
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,231
I thought I just
Saw you outside.
88
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:07,535
Oh, that must've been somebody
Else kissing on your girl.
89
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,376
Well done, g.
90
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,060
Hey, waldo.
91
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,628
What's up?
92
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,464
What's up with that?
93
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,999
I'm the bay leaf.
94
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,201
You mean the bailiff.
95
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,436
Yeah, but you're
Saying it wrong.
96
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:45,473
Enunciate.
Baaay...Leaf.
97
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,477
Okay, so you're
The bay leaf.
98
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,579
Why you wearing
That outfit?
99
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,447
'cause bay leaves
Are supposed to
Wear a uniform,
100
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,683
And I didn't want
To look stupid.
101
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,489
All rise.
102
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,826
You've seen him
In the halls.
103
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,528
Now here he is
Live in our courtroom
104
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:10,798
Playing our judge,
Principal shimata!
105
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,933
[cheering]
106
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,648
Thank you, waldo.
107
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,652
Be seated.
108
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:36,524
Steven q. Urkel,
You are charged with...
109
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,859
Well, blowing the lab
To smithereens.
110
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,763
What is your plea?
111
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,704
[speaking japanese]
112
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:55,776
Oh, most respected master
Of learning...I am innocent!
113
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,945
Duly noted.
114
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,648
Oh, kind and wise educator...
115
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,282
I put my fate
116
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,184
In your worthy hands
117
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:10,257
Sit down and stop sucking up.
118
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,263
Yes, sir.
119
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,098
Alright.
120
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,667
Let's proceed.
121
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,401
Is the prosecution
Ready?
122
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:26,106
Yes, sir, I'm ready.
Really ready.
That's me--mr. Ready.
123
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,742
Good lord.
Grab a nap.
124
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,246
Is the defense
Ready?
125
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,048
Ready, your honor.
At this time,
I'd like to--
126
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,684
[yelling]
127
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,987
Stop!
128
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,626
Steven didn't blow up
The chemistry lab.
129
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:46,594
What?
What?
130
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,895
I did.
131
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,730
[all gasp]
132
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,142
[gavel pounds]
133
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,276
Order!
134
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,746
Order!
135
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,650
Another outburst
Like that,
136
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,820
And I'll clear
The cafeteria.
137
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:16,123
Miss monkhouse,
You blew up
The science lab?
138
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,626
Guilty as charged, sir.
139
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,765
Myra. My-my...
140
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,200
Myra, you weren't even
In school that day.
141
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,069
You were home waiting
For the cable installer.
142
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:32,472
Shh. Please, darling,
Let me take
The fall for you.
143
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,907
But why?
144
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,144
If you get expelled,
Your life will be ruined.
145
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,511
But what about yours?
146
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,214
Without you,
I have no life.
147
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,619
I won't let you do this.
148
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,488
I'm innocent,
And I must clear my name.
149
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,090
You're so brave.
150
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,091
You're so noble.
151
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,660
I love you so much!
152
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,280
[speaking japanese]
153
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,683
I withdraw my confession and
Humbly beg your forgiveness.
154
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,889
Just take a seat.
155
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:29,029
She is one sick puppy.
156
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,804
Mr. Thornhill,
Call your first witness.
157
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:40,007
The prosecution calls
Mr. Harold sweeney.
158
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,651
Raise your right hand
And repeat after me.
159
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:54,254
I said your right hand.
160
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,028
That is my right hand.
161
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,003
Oh, cool.
162
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,807
Do you swear
To tell the truth,
The whole truth,
163
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,142
And nothing but the truth,
164
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,811
In sickness and health,
Till death do you part?
165
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,316
I'm not getting married.
166
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:26,153
Well, chin up. You'll find
That right girl some day.
167
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,693
Mr. Sweeney, it was
Your classroom that exploded.
168
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:34,895
That's true.
169
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,798
And the last person
You saw there was...
170
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,466
Steve urkel.
171
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:42,702
Thank you.
172
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,371
Your witness.
173
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:50,143
Mr. Sweeney, did you
Actually see the explosion?
174
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,144
No, I didn't.
175
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,481
Then you don't really know
Who caused it.
176
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,382
No, I don't.
177
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,284
No further questions.
178
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,221
I call officer
Carl winslow.
179
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,125
Officer winslow,
180
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:09,329
You're steve urkel's
Next-door neighbor?
181
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,397
Yes.
182
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,534
And has mr. Urkel
Ever caused any damage
183
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,870
To your home
Or property?
184
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,474
Well, a little bit,
But nothing major.
185
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,485
Hey, wait! Steve!
186
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,029
Don't, don't, steve!
187
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,579
You don't
Call those things...
188
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,981
Major?
189
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,718
Well, I still
Have my health.
190
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,888
Your witness.
191
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,423
Officer winslow...
192
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,225
Yes, honey?
193
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:18,465
You've described several
Of steve's so-called disasters.
194
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,768
Did he ever deny causing
Any of these mishaps?
195
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,236
Well, no.
196
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:27,074
So he always accepts
Responsibility
For his mistakes.
197
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,175
Yes.
198
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,677
Then why has he denied
Causing this explosion?
199
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,113
Oh, well, it's simple.
He didn't do it.
200
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,549
Objection.
201
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,718
Calls for conclusion...
202
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,488
And makes me look bad.
203
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,923
Sustained.
204
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,392
And it's your suit
That makes you look bad.
205
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:50,763
Thank you,
Officer winslow.
206
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,500
Anytime, sweetheart.
207
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,902
At this time,
Your honor,
208
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,503
The prosecution rests...
209
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,972
After a job well done.
210
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,342
Is the defense
Ready to proceed?
211
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,710
We are.
212
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,246
The defense calls
Steven q. Urkel.
213
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:09,616
Mr. Urkel...
214
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,218
Yes, babycakes?
215
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,555
Will you please tell us
What you were doing in the lab
216
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,090
On the day in question?
217
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,893
I was working on
My science fair project.
218
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,861
And specifically
What is that?
219
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,764
Ooh. A revolutionary
Graffiti remover.
220
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,400
I call it,
"Tag be gone."
221
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:32,105
Are any of the chemicals
In your solvent flammable?
222
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,641
Oh, yes, yes.
But I'm a scientist,
223
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,744
And I treat
All my chemicals
With r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
224
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,146
* find out what
It means to me *
225
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,613
* sock it to me *
* sock it to me *
226
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,349
* sock it to me **
* sock it to me **
227
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,655
Stop it!
228
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,226
Mr. Urkel,
229
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:56,863
Please tell the court
In your own words
Exactly what happened.
230
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,366
Well, I was mixing
A batch of solvent
231
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,735
When our crackerjack
Janitor mr. Looney
Entered the room.
232
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,604
Well, we exchanged
Pleasantries
233
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:05,838
And rapped about mops--
234
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,775
You know,
Cotton vs. Sponge.
235
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,011
Then I went into
The storage room
236
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,845
To get a bigger,
Better beaker,
237
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,414
And a few
Moments later,
238
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,017
I heard a loud
Explosion.
239
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,424
Thank you, mr. Urkel.
240
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:27,027
Oh, no sweat, my pet.
241
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,832
Mr. Urkel, the explosion
Occurred at your lab station,
242
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,236
And cheese was found
In the bunsen burner.
243
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,171
Tell the court what
Your favorite food is.
244
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,439
The food you live for,
245
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:44,277
The food that is often
Found on your breath.
246
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,545
Cheese.
247
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,587
Cheese.
248
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,724
I think I speak
For all society
When I say...
249
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,993
You make me sick.
250
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,332
The defense calls
Mr. Alfred looney.
251
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,967
Mr. Looney--
252
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,603
Uh, that's loone.
253
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,008
It's french.
254
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,310
I see.
255
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:20,380
You are the janitor here
At vanderbilt high?
256
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,149
Oui.
257
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,387
This is a charred lunchbox
Found in the rubble
258
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,457
That used to be
The science lab.
Is it yours?
259
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,326
Yeah.
260
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,699
I hold in my hand
A sandwich...Yours?
261
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,670
Yeah.
262
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,406
Here.
263
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:50,343
Tell me, what is
That yellow substance?
264
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,812
Uh...
265
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,381
That'd be cheese.
266
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,583
Cheese?
Cheese?
Cheese?
267
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,928
Why don't you tell us
What really happened that day?
268
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,831
Well, I was...
I was emptying trash...
269
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:15,702
And steven urkel
Interrupted me.
270
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:20,173
He bugged me with
A bunch of stupid
Questions about mops...
271
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,477
And cotton and sponge.
Who cares?
272
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:31,184
Finally, he went
In the storage room,
273
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:35,021
And I decided to
Heat my sandwich
274
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,489
On his bunsen burner.
275
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,525
Oh, so you blew up
The science lab.
276
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:43,363
No! No. No.
Just as my cheese
Started to melt,
277
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,032
My beeper went off.
278
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,900
It was an emergency--
279
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,803
Road kill
In the parking lot.
280
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,642
So I tossed the sandwich
Back in my lunchbox
281
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,444
And skedaddled.
282
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,811
A couple
Minutes later,
283
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,648
The dad-blame place
Exploded.
284
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:13,360
But I swear
The lab was fine
When I left.
285
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,564
Sir, why didn't you
Come forward with
This information?
286
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,332
I was afraid
If I got in trouble,
287
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,834
They wouldn't let me
Be in the school play.
288
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,604
I'm--I'm billy bigelow
In carousel.
289
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:30,377
* my boy bill will be
Strong and as tall *
290
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,346
* as a tree *
291
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,681
* will bill-- *
292
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,083
Thank you.
Thank you...
293
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,451
Sir.
294
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:43,290
* like a tree
He'll stand *
295
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,525
* with his head
Up high *
296
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,859
* and his feet
Planted-- **
297
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,795
Uh, no further questions.
298
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:51,464
Okay? You alright?
Okay.
299
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,505
Your witness,
Mr. Thornhill.
300
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,510
No questions for
The singing janitor.
301
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,914
[humming]
302
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,320
Get a haircut.
303
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:22,629
The defense calls
Its final witness...
304
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,664
Dexter thornhill.
305
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,000
For the past three years,
306
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:31,238
You've won second place
In the annual science fair.
307
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,541
Who took first place?
308
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,175
Yuckel.
309
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,177
Yuckel.
310
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,979
You don't like
Steve urkel, do you?
311
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,314
No. I don't.
312
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,116
In fact, you hate him,
Don't you?
313
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,685
That's right.
314
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,288
Enough to blow up
The science lab yourself
315
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,557
And frame him for it?
316
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,761
That's insane.
317
00:19:58,665 --> 00:19:59,699
Is it?
318
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,469
Here's what really occurred
That tragic day...
319
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,137
[laura]
Steve was in
The storage room
320
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,274
When mr. Looney
Was called away.
321
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,942
That's when you
Entered the scene.
322
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,692
You added explosive chemicals
To steve's beaker
323
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:28,728
And turned
The bunsen burner up high.
324
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,335
Then you hightailed it
Out of the room,
325
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,438
And moments later
It exploded.
326
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:46,012
Nice story,
But it's pure fiction.
327
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:49,282
Oh? Well,
What if I told you
I could prove it?
328
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,984
How?
329
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:58,391
Your honor,
This is a black light.
330
00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:01,193
It detects phosphorescent
Paints or chemicals.
331
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,695
Lights, please.
332
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,132
[principal shimata]
Laura, what's
The relevance here?
333
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:09,001
Simply this.
334
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:11,971
The explosive chemicals
In steve's graffiti solvent
335
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,205
Are phosphorescent.
336
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,742
When they come in contact
With human skin,
337
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,711
Traces remain detectable
For several days.
338
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,448
Mr. Thornhill,
Show me your hands.
339
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,353
[all gasp]
340
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,558
Lights, please.
341
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,427
Okay, okay,
I did it!
342
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,564
I deserved to win
Last year's
Science fair.
343
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,499
I'm tired
Of studying until
4:00 in the morning
344
00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:43,570
While urkel glances
At a page and gets as!
345
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,806
Darn you, urkel.
Darn you to heck.
346
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,148
Your honor,
In light of this
Dramatic development,
347
00:21:56,215 --> 00:22:00,052
I ask that all charges
Against steve be dropped.
348
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,921
Case dismissed.
349
00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:30,783
* frer jacques *
350
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,785
* frer jacques *
351
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,421
* dormez-vous? *
352
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,423
* dormez-vous? *
353
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:38,157
* gonna get
Some bean dip *
354
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:39,526
* put it on
A tater chip *
355
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:41,461
* how 'bout you? *
356
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:44,063
* how 'bout you? **
24316
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