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1
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,672
[television plays]
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:05,573
Yes!
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,075
Yes!
4
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:10,378
Buenos dias,
El muchacho grande!
5
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,386
Oh, look.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,189
This poor soul
Is watching television
7
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,024
The old-fashioned way.
8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,896
'tis a pity
He hasn't discovered...
9
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,731
Smellovision.
10
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,267
Smellovision?
11
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,868
Wanna know what it does?
12
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,538
Well, if it makes you
Disappear, I'll take ten.
13
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,774
Sorry.
14
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,243
This ingenious device
15
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,744
Uses electrodes to convert
16
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,780
The visual images
Transmitted from your brain
17
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,949
Into the appropriate smell.
18
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,085
In other words,
What you see is...
19
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,120
[sniffs]
20
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:55,089
What you smell.
21
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,791
Ohh!
22
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,128
Go home.
23
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:05,333
Oh, come on.
Let's slip
This baby on.
24
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,335
Well, alright.
Be careful.
25
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,003
Okay, let's cram
This baby on.
26
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,341
I have ears, you know!
27
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,542
Ow!
28
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:27,621
Oh.
29
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,594
Okay, watch and whiff.
30
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,898
Ah, hawaii.
31
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,534
Mmm! Gee, steve.
32
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,870
I smell flowers,
33
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,339
Oh, and suntan oil.
34
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,575
This idiotic contraption
Really works.
35
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,344
Oh, you're too kind,
Too kind.
36
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,880
Let's see what else
We've got.
37
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,684
Mmm! I smell prime rib...
38
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,252
Lobster...
39
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:01,121
Ooh! Potatoes au gratin.
40
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,559
Ooh! Banana bread!
41
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,330
Oh!
42
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:10,198
Hey!
43
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,799
Wha--wha--wha--
44
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,168
Wha--
45
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:17,171
Hey, steve,
I smell burning hair.
46
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,841
Hey, that's me! Aah!
47
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,943
Aah! Get it off!
48
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,345
Get if off!
Hurry up!
49
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:26,614
Get it off of me!
50
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,382
Aah! Aah!
51
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,164
Get out.
52
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,169
Can I have my helmet back?
53
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,771
Get out!
54
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:56,944
Aah! Aah!
55
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,322
* it's a rare condition *
56
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,723
* in this day and age *
57
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,361
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
58
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,764
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
59
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:21,369
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
60
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,372
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
61
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:28,676
* inside these gentle walls *
62
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:32,246
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
63
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:37,084
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
64
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,421
* as days go by *
65
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:44,392
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
66
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:01,942
Richie.
67
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,878
Did you forget to
Do your homework?
68
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,180
Aunt harriette,
I'm seven years old.
69
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,250
You don't have to remind me
Every night to do my homework.
70
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:14,021
Oh, sorry. Then,
That means you've done it?
71
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,489
Nope.
72
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,460
But I didn't forget.
73
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,364
Move it.
74
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,337
Carl, we've got
A problem with eddie.
75
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,341
Oh, no. What has
Devil boy done now?
76
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,876
I was checking
His clothes for
The dry cleaners,
77
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,212
And this love note
Fell out of one
Of his pockets.
78
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,014
Love note? From who?
79
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,350
Latisha.
80
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,718
Oh, she's a knockout...
81
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,889
In a immature
Teenage sort of way.
82
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,727
Carl, read this part
Right here.
83
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,064
"Eddie, we were
Foolish to wait.
84
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,866
"Last night
Was so special,
85
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,802
"And now I want us
To share this experience
86
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,505
As often as possible."
87
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,611
Do you think this means
88
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,312
That eddie
Is sexually active?
89
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,647
When was this written?
90
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,684
By now he could be
Sexually exhausted.
91
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,887
Don't make jokes.
I'm upset about this.
92
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,088
I know.
93
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,458
It's weird.
94
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,728
You know, we worry
About our kids growing up,
95
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:30,698
And then one day
We realize they already have.
96
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,467
You need
To sit eddie down
97
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,570
And have a heavy-duty
Father/son talk.
98
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:40,374
I know, but whenever
I talk about sex,
99
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,143
It's so awkward.
100
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,413
I mean,
I get embarrassed.
101
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,848
When I get embarrassed,
I start to itch.
102
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,419
Honey, just be honest
With eddie
103
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,054
And everything
Will be fine.
104
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,556
Harriette...
105
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,124
What if eddie
And his girlfriend
106
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,527
Are fooling around?
107
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:02,996
Well, we'll just have
To be mature about it
108
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,533
And lock him up
In his room till he's 30.
109
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,914
Uh, edward,
You got a minute?
110
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,684
Not really. I got
To pick up latisha.
111
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,218
Hey, look, dad.
112
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,521
My skin's clearing up.
113
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,859
Sit down, son.
We need to talk.
114
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,429
Well, what about?
115
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,197
Well, uh...
116
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,900
Um...
117
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,034
It's about, um...
118
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,604
Oh. About sex.
119
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,775
Yeah.
120
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,977
You gave me the birds
And the bees rap
121
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,211
A long time ago.
122
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,947
Right, but what
I want to know now
123
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,649
Is if you've
Become an active bee,
124
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:58,085
And if so, how much
Buzzing have you done?
125
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:01,922
Dad.
126
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,291
Son, we need
To talk about this.
127
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,326
Why now,
All of a sudden?
128
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,428
Your mother was
Checking clothes
129
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,730
For the dry cleaner,
130
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,365
And she found this...Note
131
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,136
From your girlfriend
La bamba.
132
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,506
It's latisha.
133
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,474
Well, read this.
134
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,446
"Eddie, we were
Foolish to wait.
135
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:27,748
"Last night
Was so special,
136
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,584
"And now I want us
To share this experience
137
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:34,021
As often as possible."
138
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,556
[snickers]
139
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,426
What?
140
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,762
Latisha's mother
Has a drinking problem.
141
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,797
She's been going
To aa for help.
142
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,899
"Last night"
In this note
143
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,234
Was the night
I took latisha
144
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,503
To an alateen meeting.
145
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,739
Oh! That's it?
146
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,741
Yeah. That's
The experience
147
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,509
She wants us
To share again.
148
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,277
Well, good for you, son.
149
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,046
Thanks, dad.
150
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,782
Okay.
151
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,618
Now, let's get back
To my original question.
152
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,887
I know that this
Is embarrassing,
153
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,488
But I really
Would appreciate
154
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:11,424
An honest answer, okay?
155
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,093
Okay.
156
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,161
[sighs]
157
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,030
Are you still a virgin?
158
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:23,403
Yeah.
159
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,573
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
160
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,641
Fine, son.
Good, son.
161
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,877
I'm glad one of us
Is happy about it.
162
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,584
What? You're not?
163
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,351
I'm probably one of
The only guys I know
164
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,420
Who hasn't scored.
165
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,956
What's wrong with
Sitting on the bench?
166
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:47,728
Plenty.
It means I'm not
Even in the game.
167
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:50,130
But, son,
That's just it.
168
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,232
Sex isn't a game.
169
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,834
It's an important step,
170
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,637
A milestone
In everyone's life,
171
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,840
And considering aids
And unwanted pregnancies,
172
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:02,475
It can be a downright
Dangerous step.
173
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,777
Dad, I'm not stupid.
174
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,713
I'd always
Protect myself.
175
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,148
I'm very glad
To hear that, son,
176
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,918
But there really is
Only one foolproof way
177
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,821
To eliminate
All the risks,
178
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,156
And that's abstinence.
179
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,925
Yeah, I know.
180
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,394
It's a lot tougher
To be a kid these days,
181
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,630
But, son, the hope
I have for you
182
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,498
Is the hope
That my father
Had for me.
183
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,100
What was that?
184
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,871
I hope that one day you'll
Meet that special lady,
185
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,807
A lady as wonderful
As your mother.
186
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,175
I hope you fall in love
187
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,677
And work very hard
188
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,079
To build a loving
Relationship,
189
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:40,180
And then, son,
190
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,751
If you decide to express
That love physically,
191
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:48,021
Well, then it'll
Mean something. Okay?
192
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,857
Yes, sir.
193
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,291
Good.
194
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:09,777
Hey, guys, did you
See what angela baskin
Was wearing today?
195
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,144
Yeah!
Yeah!
196
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:14,081
Yeah, baby got back.
197
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,616
Let's hear it
For tight sweaters
And short skirts!
198
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,652
Whoo!
Whoo!
199
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,625
[humming]
200
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,770
What am I,
A bus accident?
201
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,111
Hey, urkel, what's
With the paper shoes?
202
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:47,047
It's a low-cost way
To prevent tinea pedis.
203
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,581
Tinea what?
204
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,884
Tinea pedis,
Athlete's foot.
205
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,186
Good lord.
Read a book.
206
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,289
Yeah, well, read this.
207
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,391
Ow!
208
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,993
Knock it off
209
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,096
Or I shall be forced
To respond in kind.
210
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,403
Whaah!
211
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:16,143
Whooh!
212
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,277
Aaah!
213
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,050
Aah!
214
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,120
Whaah!
215
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,434
Okay, pudding for brains,
216
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,270
Make your move.
217
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,337
Whaah!
218
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,177
Hey, I got better things
To do, alright?
219
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,478
I'm going to hit
On angela at lunch
220
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,480
And set me up a hot date.
221
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,916
You got a prob, bob.
222
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,584
Weatherman says
It's going to snow.
223
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,053
Mr. Cloud was
Wearing earmuffs.
224
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,057
Don't worry. It'll be
Plenty warm in my van.
225
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,659
Hey, jerry, I didn't
Know you liked angela.
226
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,061
She's okay.
227
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,830
The point is
She's the only girl
In the glee club
228
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,099
That I haven't bagged yet.
229
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,736
You're pathetic.
230
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,740
I'm pathetic?
231
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:21,775
That's right.
232
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,044
You're pathetic.
233
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,879
Women are rare and
Precious creatures.
234
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,982
They should be
Placed on pedestals,
Not bagged.
235
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,020
Where's
My spray starch?
236
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,958
You wouldn't know
What to do with a girl
237
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,492
If one fell
In your pants.
238
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,795
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
239
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:46,033
Well, if you're
Insinuating
240
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,968
In your own
Cro-magnon way
241
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:50,871
That I'm unsullied,
Pure, pristine,
242
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,472
Well, you're
Quite correct.
243
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:55,675
Steven q. Urkel
Is right off
The showroom floor.
244
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,111
Yeah, right.
Boo!
245
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,181
A real man doesn't
Need to have sex
To prove he's a man.
246
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:02,916
Well, your opinion
Doesn't count
247
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:06,253
Since, technically,
You're not a man.
248
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,789
Ha. Well, say
What you will about me,
249
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:11,391
But no one here
Will deny
250
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:15,462
That my best bud eddo
Is a real man, right?
251
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,663
Yeah.
That's right.
252
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,932
Well, it just so happens
253
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:22,002
That he's a virgin, too.
254
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,315
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
255
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,649
Come on now, guys.
256
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,218
You don't believe him,
Do you?
257
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,120
You're not a virgin,
Right?
258
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:44,925
Oh, please,
This is me, baby.
259
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:48,561
Eddie "The e-man" winslow.
260
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,762
You know what I'm saying.
261
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,831
Come on now.
262
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,533
Eddie's
A make-out artist.
263
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,002
He's a lady-killer.
264
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,939
He's a boodle-fakin',
Skirt-chasin' love daddy.
265
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,741
Just chill out,
Steve, okay?
266
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,010
But, why?
267
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,012
Just yesterday you were
Talking to your dad,
268
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:08,581
And I overheard you say
That you were a virgin.
269
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,786
Hey, man,
Who are you saving
Yourself for?
270
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,622
Miss right?
271
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,658
Miss wright?
272
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,328
Miss wright is
Our math teacher.
273
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,899
Great caesar's ghost,
Eddie.
274
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,435
She's 67 years old.
275
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,305
Yo, man,
I'm out of here.
276
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,275
Man, I blew it.
277
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,743
What are you
Talking about?
278
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,546
I revealed
His girlfriend's age.
279
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:50,257
All in the business.
It's all in the business.
280
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:53,526
Eddie?
281
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:54,794
What?
282
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:58,065
Why don't you pick on
A sandwich your own size?
283
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,100
Don't mess with me,
Laura.
284
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:03,236
Lighten up. It's not
That big a deal.
285
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,105
Yes, it is.
286
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,374
Jerry and the guys are
Clowning me big-time.
287
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:15,082
Eddie, let me
Ask you something.
288
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,985
Why are you upset
That the guys know
You're a virgin?
289
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:21,754
Laura, guys are
Expected to fool around.
290
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,256
Oh, okay.
291
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:26,926
So you're saying
That guys are supposed
To have sex
292
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,295
And girls aren't?
293
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:29,429
Well--
294
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:32,132
'cause that would be
The end of mankind.
295
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,170
Eddie, why is it okay
For me to be a virgin,
296
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,172
But it's not okay
For you?
297
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,474
Well, because
You're my sister.
298
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,210
Well, think about this.
299
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,745
All those other girls
Out there
300
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,747
Are somebody's sister, too.
301
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,916
Look, the bottom line is
302
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,551
I haven't been
With a girl yet,
303
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,086
And now I'm
The laughingstock
304
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,388
Of the
Boys' locker room.
305
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,591
Well, your friend
Jerry's a hound,
306
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,127
And he's
The laughingstock
307
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,429
Of the girls' locker room.
308
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:19,612
Hi, steve.
309
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,648
Shh! I'm hiding
From myra.
310
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,285
The lusty lass has got
The mega-hots for me.
311
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:40,200
Excuse me, ma'am.
Have you seen steve urkel?
312
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,671
No hablo ingles.
313
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,814
Very clever, estelle.
314
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,883
So that pretty girl
Is myra?
315
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:57,917
Yep.
316
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,053
Laura told me
About her.
317
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,322
She's the girl
With the sick puppy?
318
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,658
No. Laura thinks
Myra is a sick puppy.
319
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,596
But that's just
Jealousy talking.
320
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,599
You see, the thing is,
321
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,368
Myra is very...
322
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,837
Voluptuous,
323
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,039
And she uses her...
324
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,075
Voluptuosity...
325
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,246
To try and get me
Volupted.
326
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:29,949
My, my, my.
327
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,818
Well, the thing is,
328
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,820
Myra's made it
Quite clear that--
329
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,456
Well, she'd like
To do the...
330
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,592
Wiggle-wiggle-wing-ding.
331
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,499
You do know what
I'm referring to,
Don't you?
332
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,102
At my age,
You hope for a wiggle,
333
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:52,071
But you settle
For a ding.
334
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,773
Oh, my.
335
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,214
Well, estelle,
336
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,184
I'm just as anxious
As the next guy,
337
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,985
But I want to wait.
338
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,521
I want my wedding night
To be special.
339
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,522
Why?
340
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:13,593
My advice to you is
Be true to yourself.
341
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,297
Go with what
You believe in.
342
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,599
Now, if myra
Can't support that,
343
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,535
She is just not
The right girl for you.
344
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,005
Thanks, estelle.
345
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,174
You're swell.
346
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,908
Oh, bless you.
347
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,343
Love you.
348
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,246
Yo, gangway, I'm late!
349
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,118
Yo, where's steve?
350
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,487
Nobody knows.
351
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,355
We thought you might've gone
On vacation together.
352
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,791
Vacation? What are
You talking about?
353
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,094
I'm talking about
Your favorite spot--
The virgin islands.
354
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,896
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
355
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,564
The virgin islands!
356
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,365
That was really--
357
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:56,035
That was really
Stupid, man.
358
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,338
You know, winslow,
I'm disappointed in you.
359
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:01,374
We all thought that you
Were a real ladies' man.
360
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,610
Now the whole school
Knows that the dude
361
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,678
Is just a dud.
362
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,081
Well, you disappoint
Me, too, jerry.
363
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,016
Oh, yeah?
364
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:10,850
Yeah.
365
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,252
Man, you're a user.
366
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,920
Girls aren't
People to you.
367
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,156
They're points
On a scorecard.
368
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,227
Sounds like
Sour grapes to me.
369
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:24,030
Nope. You see, I used
To think just like you
370
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,767
Until I realized
That making sweet love
With a fine lady
371
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,236
Is all about feelings,
372
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,638
And those feelings
Should be shared.
373
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,106
So if quantity
Is your thing,
374
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,075
Knock yourself out,
Buddy,
375
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:40,247
But me, I'm going
For quality.
376
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,061
Aah!
377
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,996
Hi-dee-ho!
378
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,099
Steve, what are you
Doing in there?
379
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,702
Hiding from myra.
380
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,437
A few minutes ago,
381
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,673
She actually
Followed me in here.
382
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:07,874
Really?
383
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,176
It's a full moon,
384
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,879
And her hormones
Are at high tide.
385
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,114
Let's go to gym class.
386
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,783
Wait, eddo.
387
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,518
I heard what
You said to jerry,
388
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,453
And for what it's worth,
389
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,089
I'm real proud of you.
390
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,257
I know it's hard
391
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,124
To stand up
To peer pressure.
392
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,359
For instance,
393
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:27,960
You may notice
I take some ribbing
394
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,830
For the way I walk,
Talk, eat, dress, think,
Act, and laugh.
395
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,068
But I don't let
Little things bother me.
396
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,504
I say,
When you're right,
397
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,540
Man the torpedoes
And full speed ahead!
398
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,942
[chuckles]
399
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:43,643
Whoa!
400
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:44,744
Yo! Yo!
401
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,646
Whoo-aah!
402
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,247
Whoo-aah!
403
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,682
Whaah!
404
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,819
Whaah!
405
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:07,800
Aah!
406
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,101
Myra!
407
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:10,503
Hi, steven.
408
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,940
Myra, this is
The boys' locker room.
409
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,208
I know,
410
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,410
But I was
Waiting outside
411
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:20,780
Because I heard
That you had towel duty,
412
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,583
But I got so...
413
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,584
Impatient.
414
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,919
Myra, no, no.
We need to talk.
415
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,621
Talk?
416
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:31,624
I can think
Of a better way
To use our lips.
417
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:55,648
[panting]
418
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:56,849
Myra--myra--
419
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:57,850
Myra, listen to me.
420
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,387
Listen to me.
421
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,557
Now, you're
A tasty wench,
422
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:08,127
But I am an unopened
Can of soda,
423
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,397
And I know
You're thirsty,
424
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,799
But I'm not ready
To pop my top.
425
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:17,470
So--so here's
The bottom line--
426
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:18,671
If you're not
Willing to wait
427
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,640
Till the proper
Time to drink,
428
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:22,842
Then you put me back
In the fridge.
429
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:28,147
You sure know
How to milk a metaphor.
430
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:30,550
Well, I have to get
My point across.
431
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:33,886
That makes me so hot.
432
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:34,421
No, myra, please--
433
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,856
Come here, baby.
434
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,527
No, myra, don't!
435
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,863
Myra! Myra!
Myra, myra, please!
28498
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