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1
00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:04,972
Honey, minnesota's pretty cold.
2
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:06,407
Did you pack
Enough sweaters?
3
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,575
Three.
4
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,976
Well, what about socks?
5
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,912
I'm wearing some.
6
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,415
Look, guys, stop worrying.
I'll be fine.
7
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:17,785
Laura, this is the first time
You're going out without us.
8
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,153
Yeah!
9
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,658
I mean...
10
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,994
Yeah.
11
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,262
It's only for three days,
12
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,231
And we'll be chaperoned
The whole time.
13
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,465
Why couldn't they hold
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,000
The midwest cheerleading
Championships
15
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,603
Here in chicago?
Why go to bemidji?
16
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,505
Well, bemidji's
A famous cheer town.
17
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,108
They invented the phrase,
"Sis boom bah!"
18
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,375
Well, let's hustle.
19
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,112
We don't want you
To miss your flight.
20
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,313
Hey, laura, wait!
21
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,915
You almost forgot
Your pompoms.
22
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:50,851
Ooh, I'd be lost
Without those.
23
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,720
How can I thank you, richie?
24
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,489
Uh, a buck
Should cover it.
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,625
I'm surprised steve
Didn't embarrass you
26
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,993
With one of his melodramatic
Goodbyes.
27
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,995
I warned him that if he did,
28
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,697
I'd staple
His lips together.
29
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,408
Hi, sweetums.
30
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,644
Ooh, I'll pack these
For you.
31
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,514
Bye.
32
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,993
* it's a rare condition *
33
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,628
* in this day and age *
34
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:38,266
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
35
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:41,635
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
36
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:46,340
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
37
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:49,343
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
38
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:53,547
* inside these gentle walls *
39
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,151
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
40
00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,554
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
41
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,226
* as days go by *
42
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:09,263
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
43
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,614
Hi, babe.
Hey.
44
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,448
Hey, dad.
45
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,283
Just the man
I wanted to see.
46
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,151
Grab a seat, son.
47
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,921
Okay, sure. What's up?
48
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,957
I'm going to give you
A haircut.
49
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,692
What?
50
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,727
How come?
51
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,861
It'll save me money.
52
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,332
No way.
53
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,466
Oh, now, now, now.
54
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,401
I know that I may botch
55
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,271
The first three
Or four haircuts,
56
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,273
But, hey, I'll learn,
57
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:55,676
And over the years
Think of the savings.
58
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,411
Mom, stop him!
59
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,713
He's trying
To hurt my hair.
60
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,851
Carl, it's very important
To eddie that he look good.
61
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,453
You're both overreacting.
62
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,888
Come on, let me take
A whack at that head.
63
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,724
I'll even shave
One of those designs--
You young people like.
64
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,726
Something cool
Like a happy face.
65
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,663
Mom.
66
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,965
Carl, he doesn't have time
For a haircut.
67
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,367
He doesn't?
68
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,602
No, he has
To clean his room,
69
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,272
Wash the car, and take out the
Trash, right, eddy?
70
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,508
Right, I got to go do those
Things right now. Bye.
71
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,111
Now, you see.
72
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,747
I told you I'd get him
To do his chores.
73
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,889
So listen to this.
74
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,825
Janet and I wanted to
Do something exciting,
75
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,026
Something daring.
76
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,561
Ooh! Ooh!
77
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:51,064
We got fake I.D.S
And went to club buff.
78
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,165
The male strip club?
79
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,200
Yes, girl.
80
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,735
Ooh! Ooh!
81
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,338
The dancers there are
Drop-dead gorgeous.
82
00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,140
What kind of dancing
Do they do?
83
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,543
The kind where their
Clothes come off.
84
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,646
Look, I'm going
Again this weekend.
85
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,247
You guys have gotta come.
86
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,849
Hey, count me in.
87
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:12,286
I'll get the I.D.S.
It's 50 bucks
And a picture.
88
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,422
$50 is a lot of money.
89
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:19,293
Maxine, we're talking
Near-naked hunks.
90
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,862
I'll have
The cash tomorrow.
91
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,398
So, how about you, laura?
92
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,835
Sorry, guys, I think
I'm gonna pass.
93
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,503
Why?
94
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,639
Max we're underage,
What if we get caught?
95
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,641
Uh, so you take a risk.
96
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,275
That's what
Makes it exciting.
97
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,511
I don't know.
98
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,880
Hello? I forgot
Who I was talking to--
99
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:43,551
Miss laura "Goody
Two shoes" winslow.
100
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,620
Wait a minute. I'm not a goody
Two shoes. Right, max?
101
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,593
Yo, max, jump
In here anytime.
102
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,062
Well...The kids at school
103
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,332
Do think you're kind of...
Squeaky clean.
104
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,668
Well, does everybody
Think that?
105
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,704
No, not everybody.
There is one guy
106
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,673
Who thinks you're
Wild and crazy.
107
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,774
Who?
108
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,841
Steve urkel.
109
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,944
I'll have the money
Tomorrow.
110
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,414
Yes!
111
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:17,751
Carl, isn't it strange
How different
Our children are?
112
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,420
What do you mean,
Sweetheart?
113
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,054
Well, with eddie and judy,
114
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,191
We have to beg, and trick them
Into doing their chores.
115
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,026
Yeah, but not laura.
116
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:29,897
Laura always
Does exactly what
She's supposed to.
117
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,566
Yeah, takes after me.
118
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,503
Sure, in looks.
119
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,605
But she's got my personality.
120
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,409
You know,
We're really lucky, carl.
121
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,677
These days it's tough
To be a good kid.
122
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,046
There's a lotta temptation,
Lotta peer pressure.
123
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,981
You know, honey,
You're right.
124
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,583
We should reward laura.
125
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,351
Carl, that's a good idea.
126
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:52,420
I'll tell you what.
127
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:53,621
Tonight we'll give her
128
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,489
First crack
At the pork chops.
129
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,359
Last week the poor
Kid didn't get any.
130
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,996
You're all heart, carl.
131
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:06,299
But I was thinking about
A reward that's a little more..
132
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,367
Expensive.
133
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,769
Well, yeah.
134
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,405
How about this,
I take laura down to the mall
135
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,674
We have lunch
And I let her pick out
136
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,510
Two or three brand new outfits.
Isn't that a good idea?
137
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:19,346
Well, yeah, but we're gonna have
To figure out a way
138
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,949
To pay for those outfits.
139
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,985
Say, how much do you pay
For your haircuts?
140
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,354
Carl.
141
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,622
Just around the edges, now.
142
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,123
Carl, carl, no, no.
143
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,329
Alright! Let's kick it.
144
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,732
Babes, beware.
Two dudes on the loose.
145
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,033
Right.
146
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,577
Yo, waldo, what's that
New cologne you're wearing?
147
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,178
Oh, it's not cologne.
148
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,583
This baby's keeping
More than my car fresh.
149
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,620
Hi-dee-ho, amigos!
150
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,491
Hey, steve.
151
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,525
What's up?
152
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,494
I'm taking a five
From my lab.
153
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,128
I'm working
On a new invention.
154
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,097
Oh, really?
What is it?
155
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:15,002
It's a combination
Nose-hair trimmer
And flashlight.
156
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:19,306
I mean, let's be honest
There's a lot up there
We'd like to see.
157
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,774
Now, remember, waldo,
158
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,143
If we find
Two girls together,
159
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,878
I get the ugly one.
160
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,482
Hey, how come you always
Get first pick?
161
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,785
Alright. You can have
The ugly one.
162
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,055
Okay, that's better.
163
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,536
Hello, steven.
164
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,203
Hi, laura.
165
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,748
L-laura.
166
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,082
L-legs.
167
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,951
Bazooms.
168
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,636
Laura, why do you
Look so sexy,
169
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,371
So provocative,
170
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,907
And so, as they say
In france,
171
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,508
"Whoa, mama"?
172
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,947
Steve, stop it.
You're drooling
On my carpet.
173
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,216
[doorbell rings]
174
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,752
Laura, don't run.
175
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:39,653
Why?
176
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,055
Because when you do,
177
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,223
You bounce.
178
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,027
Hey, girls.
179
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:50,097
You ready to check out
Some hot bods?
180
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,364
Hot bods?
181
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,801
What's she
Talking about?
182
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,836
We're going to club buff.
183
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,671
Club buff?
184
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,139
The strip joint?
185
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,814
Laura, why on earth
186
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,182
Would you go to that
Den of iniquity,
187
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,918
That bicep boutique,
188
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:14,287
That
Palace of pulsating,
Perspiring pecs?
189
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,256
'cause we want to. Bye.
190
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,557
No!
191
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,930
I shall not allow this.
192
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:26,399
Move it or lose it,
Steve.
193
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,702
No. You're not going.
194
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,138
I'm putting my foot down.
195
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,909
Ooh!
196
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,010
Ow!
197
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,311
Ow!
198
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,346
Ooh. Ooh.
199
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,703
Is this table
To your liking?
200
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,838
Oh, thank you.
It'll be fine, dear.
201
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,876
Sorry I had to grill you
About your I.D.
202
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,577
You know, you don't look 28.
203
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,212
I get that all the time.
204
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,815
Here you go, miss.
205
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:17,017
Oh, it's mrs.
--I'm a divorcee.
206
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,119
Caught my husband
With the babysitter.
207
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,793
Alright. We're here.
You ready for this?
208
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,194
Can you handle it?
209
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:28,762
Oh, yeah.
210
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,965
Would you ladies
Like something to drink?
211
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,602
Oh, orange juice,
Please.
212
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,871
I'll have the same,
My good man.
213
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,307
I'll have a diet soda
With muscles.
214
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,811
I mean, ice.
215
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,816
Laura, get a grip.
216
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,718
If you're like
That with the waiter
217
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,352
How you gonna handle
The dancers?
218
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,387
I'm not.
I'm going home.
219
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,389
What? We just got here.
220
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,525
Max, I'm not good at this.
221
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,393
I'm too uptight
To enjoy myself.
222
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,095
Just be cool.
223
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,397
Yeah, don't worry.
Nothing bad's going to happen.
224
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,467
[blows whistle]
225
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,702
You ladies
Are under arrest!
226
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:12,472
Aah!
Aah!
227
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,841
Uh-oh, ladies,
228
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:14,875
You've been busted.
229
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,544
You have the right
To remain...
230
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,912
Excited!
231
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:22,015
Say hello to one of chicago's
Finest...
232
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,851
Officer bob!
233
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,354
Aah!
Aah!
234
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,130
* let's get
The music pumpin' loud *
235
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:41,301
* let's get some movement
In this crowd *
236
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,337
* too many scattered bodies
In the place *
237
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,638
Aah!
Aah!
238
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,540
* we need to
Rock this party *
239
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,176
* crank up the bass *
240
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,311
* is that loud enough?
I don't think so *
241
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,613
* is that loud enough?
I don't think so *
242
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,682
* is that loud enough?
I don't think so *
243
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,018
* is that, yeah, boy **
244
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,733
Bonjour, gendarme.
245
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,469
Steve,
What are you doing here?
246
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,471
Having a pop, pop.
247
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:19,773
Where you been?
248
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,043
We went to bubba's barbecue,
If you must know--
249
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,845
It was all-you-could-eat night.
250
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,281
I'll bet poor bubba
Broke into tears
251
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,649
When he saw you coming.
252
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:30,818
Ha ha!
253
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,319
[snort snort]
254
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,055
Ooh. Ooh.
255
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,832
Want some?
256
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,769
Get out.
257
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:53,173
Well, not so fast,
Barbecue breath.
258
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,774
Where are
The winslow womenfolk?
259
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:56,877
Rachel talked my
Mother and harriette
260
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,645
Into going
To a nightclub.
261
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,448
Oh. Girls' night out.
How cute.
262
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,549
What club was it?
263
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,251
Club buff.
264
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:08,922
Club buff?
265
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,960
Well, it bothered
Me at first that
Harriette went,
266
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,863
But then I realized
It'll make her appreciate
267
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,198
What she has at home.
268
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:22,469
Sure those dancers
Have a few muscles
And a lot of hair,
269
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,138
But do they have
Charisma?
270
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,474
Huh?...Steve?
271
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,044
Steve?
272
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,149
I don't know what I did,
273
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,185
But I'm sure glad I did it.
274
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,058
Whoo!
Whoo!
275
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,131
Aah!
Aah!
276
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:12,185
Whoo! Encore, baby!
Encore!
277
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,553
Whoo-hoo!
278
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,526
Come on, max, let's go
To the ladies' room
279
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,593
And hose you down.
280
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,537
I don't know
About this.
281
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,840
Oh, come on, harriette,
Don't be such
A stick in the mud.
282
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,776
Yeah. Get with it, sugar.
283
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:39,812
This place is a blast.
284
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,448
So, you've been
Here before?
285
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,849
Uh, oh, once or twice.
286
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,184
Hi, estelle.
287
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:48,288
Oh, hello, derek.
How are the kids?
288
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,191
Oh, just great. Would you like
Your usual table?
289
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,060
That would be just fine.
290
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,543
Oh!
291
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,346
Wow. Large fella.
292
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,414
Beat it.
293
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,149
And talkative.
294
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,218
Listen, why don't you go
Apply for statehood
295
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,520
While I speak
To one of your patrons?
296
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,091
No men allowed,
297
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:27,027
And you're close
Enough. Scram.
298
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,597
Listen, this will only
Take a moment,
299
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,999
And it's very important.
300
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,634
Take a hike.
301
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:40,040
Listen,
You sack of muscles
In a bad suit,
302
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,841
I'm trying to be
Reasonable here.
303
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,476
Hey, what are you doing?
304
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,511
Bye-bye.
305
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:45,712
Unhand me, you brut.
306
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:46,913
Aah!
307
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,348
[crash]
308
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,984
Whoo!
309
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,653
I love my work.
310
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,696
Hey, hey, hey, you.
311
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,797
Yes?
312
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,233
What are you doing here?
313
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,269
Well, um...I'm, uh...
314
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,670
I'm from
The temp agency.
315
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:14,574
What? Please
Tell me you're not
The new dancer.
316
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,842
Oh, but I am.
317
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,677
I'm, uh...I'm replacing...
318
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,746
Uh...Who is it?
319
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,314
Pete the passionate
Plumber?
320
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:22,715
Right.
321
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:27,054
I'm steve the sensuous...
322
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,421
Scientist.
323
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,258
That's a good outfit.
Just one question.
324
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,560
You going to use
That body?
325
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:39,032
Well, hey, it's not
How many muscles you have.
326
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,268
It's how you use
The ones you've got.
327
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,772
Get inside.
You're on next.
328
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,440
But I need
Time to pump up.
329
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,109
You also need
Plastic surgery,
330
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,478
But we don't have time
For that either.
331
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:54,381
I'm a little
Out of practice.
I normally do this..
332
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,888
Ladies, it's time to
Fire up your bunsen burners.
333
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,556
Club buff
334
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,392
Reluctantly presents...
335
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,894
In his debut performance...
336
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,432
Steve
The sensuous scientist.
337
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,579
Stop the music!
338
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,081
Stop the music!
339
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,184
What is wrong
With you ladies?
340
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,286
You're acting
Like animals.
341
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:37,490
Ogling men and urging them
To deface themselves in public.
342
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,659
There's no justification
For this behavior.
343
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,894
What do you have
To say for yourselves?
344
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,796
Shut up
And shake your booty.
345
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,504
My goodness.
346
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,706
Savages.
347
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,309
Now, listen.
Listen to me.
348
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,246
Suppose you were
An innocent young girl
349
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,282
Wearing a killer
Gold dress
350
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,884
And far too much makeup--
351
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,319
How would you feel
352
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,489
If your mother
Caught you in here
353
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:13,360
Along with your aunt
And your grandma?
354
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,095
How would you feel
About that?
355
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,212
Uh-oh.
356
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,414
The big uh-oh.
357
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,924
Laura, what would
Possess you
358
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,227
To go to a place
Like club buff?
359
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,897
I suppose
I could ask you
360
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,199
The same question...
361
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,303
But I'm no fool.
362
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:02,409
I went because rachel
Dragged me there.
363
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,478
She was dying to know what
A place like that was like.
364
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,113
She should've asked
Your grandmother.
365
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,781
She has a lifetime
Membership.
366
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,053
Mom, I wanted to see
What it was like, too.
367
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,724
Laura, I'm an adult.
368
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,827
You bought a fake I.D.
And snuck into that place.
369
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,564
I know.
370
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,632
Why?
371
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,636
It was the only way
I could get in.
372
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,104
You know what I mean.
373
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,741
That kind of behavior
Is not like you.
374
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,343
That was the point, mom.
375
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,178
I wanted to be as little
Like me as possible.
376
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,349
Did I miss something?
377
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,885
Mom, all the kids think
I'm a miss goody two shoes.
378
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,521
I wanted
To prove to them
379
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,890
That I could do something
Wild and crazy.
380
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,961
Hmm.
381
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,929
What?
382
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,265
Well...
383
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,933
I guess we're two peas
From the same pod.
384
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,070
Laura,
When I was your age,
385
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:06,939
I was little
Miss perfect.
386
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,008
Rachel was
The daring one.
387
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,278
And she teased me
Constantly.
388
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,513
And then one time
I wanted to show her
389
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,882
That I could be
Daring, too.
390
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,417
What did you do?
391
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,520
Well,
The motown revue
Came to chicago--
392
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,154
The temptations,
The supremes,
393
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,423
Little stevie wonder,
394
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:27,226
And my
All-time favorite,
Smokey robinson.
395
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:30,530
Anyway, I ditched school
And went to the hotel.
396
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,132
I waited four hours
For them.
397
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,601
Did you get
Their autographs?
398
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:38,405
Better. When smokey
Walked past me,
399
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,006
I grabbed him,
400
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,408
Bent him back,
401
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:45,312
And planted a kiss
Dead smack on his lips.
402
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,247
Mmm.
403
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:50,317
What a kiss.
404
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,419
Found out why they
Called him smokey.
405
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,989
Mom, that is so cool.
406
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,525
I thought so, too,
407
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,793
Until my mother turned
On the late-night news.
408
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:04,964
There I was--"Crazed fan
Smooches smokey."
409
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,335
Ouch. Were you grounded?
410
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,503
Until disco came in.
411
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,407
Laura...
412
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,744
You want to be cool?
413
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,848
Then keep resisting
Temptation.
414
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:25,352
Keep doing
What you know in
Your heart is right.
415
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:27,654
That's what's
Really cool.
416
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:29,822
You're right.
417
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,925
That's my girl.
418
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:39,932
You know what, mom?
419
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:41,401
What?
420
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,202
Every time that
I start to think
421
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:47,306
That nobody in the whole world
Understands how I feel,
422
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:50,443
It turns out that
You know exactly
How I feel.
423
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:54,414
Why is that?
424
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,315
Simple...
425
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:57,717
I'm your mom.
426
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,353
The best mom.
28366
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