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1
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,873
Ahh.
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,408
Behold!
3
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:08,676
The awesome,
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,477
The incredible...
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,245
Annihilator!
6
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,548
Oh. Just call
Me steve.
7
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,383
Hee hee!
8
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,584
Snort snort.
9
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,920
Oh, boss ball,
Big guy.
10
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,289
Can I hold it?
11
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,923
Will you be careful with it?
12
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,025
Oh, absolutely.
13
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,803
[grunting]
14
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,205
Oh. Oh.
15
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,973
Whoa, nellie!
16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,876
Why, this baby
Weighs a ton!
17
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,412
Just give it to me.
18
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,613
You know...
19
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,418
I've often
Imagined myself
20
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,221
On the pro
Bowlers tour.
21
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,955
Yeah,
Traveling from
22
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,991
One midwestern town
To another,
23
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,927
Hanging out with
Guys named...
24
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,729
Merle.
25
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,334
Steve, give me my ball.
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,502
It's the
Championship match.
27
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,971
I've just interviewed
With chris schenkel,
28
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,108
And now it's just me
And earl anthony,
29
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,609
Mano-a-mano.
30
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:16,777
Steve.
31
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,579
I step to the line.
32
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,614
I take aim...
33
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,157
I make my approach.
34
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,293
1...
35
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,528
2...
36
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,663
3!
37
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,543
Yes?
38
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,312
Yes what?
39
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,281
Yes, you did that.
40
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,684
You always do that.
41
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,332
* it's a rare condition *
42
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,066
* this day and age *
43
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,602
* to read any good news *
44
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,504
* on the newspaper page *
45
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,971
* and love and tradition *
46
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,007
* of the grand design *
47
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,309
* some people say *
48
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,011
* is even harder to find *
49
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,348
* well, then there must be
Some magic clue *
50
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:31,852
* inside these
Gentle walls *
51
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,354
* 'cause all I see *
52
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,356
* is a tower of dreams *
53
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:39,293
* real love bursting
Out of every seam *
54
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:43,364
* as days go by *
55
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:48,168
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
56
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,048
4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
57
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,250
Your turn, judy.
58
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,652
Not so fast.
Boardwalk's mine.
59
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,853
Pay up.
60
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,457
Oh! You're right.
61
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,759
And according
To this card,
62
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,462
I owe you...
63
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,729
A buck.
64
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,099
I've got a funny feeling
65
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,734
I'd have
A lot more money
66
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,836
If I could read.
67
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,308
Hey, ma.
Hi.
68
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,343
Hi, aunt harriette.
Want to play?
69
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,612
No, thank you,
Sweetie.
70
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,482
Judy, didn't I ask you
To straighten up in here?
71
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,449
Yeah.
72
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:36,350
Well?
73
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,552
You meant today?
74
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,893
Laura, did you
Take the chicken
Out the freezer?
75
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,695
Oh, I sure did, mom.
76
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,002
About five minutes ago.
77
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,441
By the way, mom,
I'm going to a party tonight.
78
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:01,709
I'm supposed
To bring brownies.
79
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,777
You think
You could whip some up?
80
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,012
Whip some up?
81
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,549
Well, not a lot.
Just a few dozen.
82
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,219
Laura, I have worked
Overtime every night this week.
83
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,854
Do you know what I am?
84
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:14,955
Rich?
85
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,125
No, I'm tired!
86
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,160
I've asked everyone
To help out!
87
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,195
Honey, would you
Iron this shirt for me?
88
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,697
I'd do it myself but, uh,
89
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,934
You always make them
So fresh and crispy.
90
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,169
Carl, I really don't have time.
I can't--
91
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:32,272
Hey, mom!
Where's dinner?
92
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,542
Edward, I have been home
Less than five minutes.
93
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,644
Can't I at least have time to
Breathe?
94
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,111
Sure, but can
You breathe
95
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,980
While you're
Making dinner?
96
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,384
That's it.
97
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,353
I work
6o hours a week,
98
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,355
But that's not enough, right?
99
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:50,358
I apparently also
Have to cook chickens,
100
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,059
Iron crispy shirts,
101
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,894
And bake brownies
For the world.
102
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,062
Harriette's right.
103
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,530
Now come on, everyone
104
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:59,199
We've all got
To help out around here.
105
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,534
We should all pitch in.
106
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,570
Listen, you go
Upstairs and have
107
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,339
Yourself a nice,
Relaxing bubble bath.
108
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,108
And when you come back
Down, I promise you
109
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,743
There will be
A piping hot meal
110
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,845
Waiting on
The table for you.
111
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,882
Thank you, sweetie.
That's a lot of work.
I appreciate it.
112
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,817
Hey, it's no problem.
113
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,428
Hello, pizza city?
114
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,771
The logarithm,
Also called log,
115
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,940
Is the exponent
Indicating the power
116
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,810
To which a fixed number,
The base,
117
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:46,113
Must be raised to produce
A given number.
118
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,054
Oh, perk up.
This is riveting.
119
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:57,057
Very nice, vivian.
120
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,527
Thank you, steven.
121
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,529
Now, does anybody
Have any questions?
122
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:05,633
What do you call the hanging
Thing in the back
Of your throat?
123
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,205
Waldo, what does that have to do
With trigonometry?
124
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,943
I was just wondering.
If you don't know the answer,
Just say so.
125
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,311
It's called the uvula.
126
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,448
Can we get back to math?
127
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:23,484
I realize logarithms
Can be difficult,
128
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,385
So, perhaps...
129
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:30,524
A visual aid might help
Stimulate your interest.
130
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,161
Yeah!
Ooh!
131
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,362
Ha ha!
132
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,097
I knew it!
133
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,032
Uh, vivian--
134
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,501
Just a moment, steven.
135
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,770
I want you all to take
A close look
136
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,005
At the logs
On this chart.
137
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:50,010
Now, don't just
Memorize them.
138
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,379
Work with them.
139
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:55,415
Play with them,
See how much fun they can be.
140
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,352
Vivian--
141
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,889
Now, now, now,
I realize that
142
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,626
Some of you might be
Intimidated by these logs.
143
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,729
Well, don't be.
144
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,097
Once you understand them,
145
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,800
You'll wonder how you
Ever lived without them.
146
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,606
What is so funny?
147
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,808
Vivian,
Look at the chart!
148
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,944
There's a girl
With enormous boom-booms.
149
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,827
I am not amused.
150
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,629
No one is leaving
This classroom
151
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,864
Until the individual
Responsible comes forward.
152
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,600
[bell rings]
153
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,805
This lack of respect
For math
154
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,775
Really frosts
My behind.
155
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,212
Hey, eddie.
156
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,648
Don't forget your poster.
157
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,853
Eddie?
158
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,321
Perhaps you could stay
For a moment.
159
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,457
Thanks a lot, waldo!
160
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,025
No prob, bob.
161
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,832
Eddie, eddie, eddie.
162
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,870
I-I'm sorry,
Miss connors.
163
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,505
I thought putting
This poster up would be funny,
164
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:28,208
But instead it's turned out
To be tasteless and rude.
165
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,877
That's right.
Well, live and learn.
166
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,111
Can I go now?
Yes.
167
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,813
Straight to
Principal shimata's office.
168
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,515
Oh, no! Miss connors,
Principal shimata nailed me
169
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:38,151
For writing my phone number
Down in the girls' bathroom.
170
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,788
He said one more stunt,
I'm off the basketball team!
171
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,422
Well, you should've
Thought about that
172
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,958
Before you tacked up
The...Boom-booms.
173
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,095
Yes, ma'am.
174
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,701
Eddie, you are
A bright young man.
175
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,403
Why are you
Behaving this way?
176
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,239
I don't know.
I guess I...
177
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,874
I just--
178
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,243
Well, I don't
Know. I mean...
179
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:09,049
Well, I don't want
To lay my problems on you.
180
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,218
Problems?
181
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,185
What problems?
182
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,588
Oh, just stuff...
At home.
183
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,624
But I don't want
To get into it.
184
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,626
It--it's painful.
185
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,296
Eddie, talk to me.
What's going on at home?
186
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,132
Well, miss connors,
187
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:29,036
Oprah uses the phrase
Dysfunctional family.
188
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,942
But hey, the bottom line
Is, is that I screwed up,
189
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,044
And now it's time
To pay the piper.
190
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,279
Well, eddie, if you need
Someone to confide in...
191
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,449
No, no, I don't want to
Air our dirty laundry.
192
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,118
I'll just go down to
Principal shimata's office
193
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,321
And let him take
Away the one thing
194
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,858
I have left
That brings me joy.
195
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,363
Well, eddie,
Eddie, wait.
196
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,533
Maybe in light of
Your stress at home
197
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,969
We could let this go.
Really?
198
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,805
Yes, but no more hijinks
In my classroom.
199
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,107
Oh, yes, ma'am!
Thank you, ma'am.
200
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,613
Ah. Dopey moi.
201
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,249
I forgot my
Mr. Calculator.
202
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,020
Don't be glum, vivian.
203
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,823
Very few share
Our passion for trig.
204
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,060
No, it's not that,
Steven.
205
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,595
I'm worried
About a student.
206
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:32,900
He says he has problems at home
But he won't talk about it.
207
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:36,536
Ah, another lonely
Teenaged mariner
208
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,338
Navigating
His fragile kayak
209
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,508
Through the stormy
Sea of life.
210
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,144
Yeah, something
Like that.
211
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,146
Well, knowing you
As I do, vivian
212
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,415
I'm sure you'll take
The active approach.
213
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,850
Active approach?
214
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,986
Well, this poor teenager,
Whoever he may be,
215
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,355
Is obviously
Crying out for help.
216
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,691
But I don't really
Know what's wrong.
217
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,494
Well, find out.
Investigate.
218
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,230
You really
Think I should?
219
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,698
Oh, absolutely!
220
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,200
Reach out
And touch that student.
221
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:11,805
And tell 'em
Steven q. Urkel sent you.
222
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,558
Mom, can you help me
With my science project?
223
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,828
Forgot to tell you I need a
Costume for the school play.
224
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,730
Honey, have you seen
My black socks
225
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,566
You know the comfy ones
With the blue stripe?
226
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:43,470
Hold it. I thought everyone
Was gonna pitch in around here.
227
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,806
I'm helping,
Aunt harriette.
228
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,376
Richie...
229
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,911
Look at you!
230
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,012
What are you doing?
231
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,314
I'm making a cake
For dinner.
232
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,316
Oh, gosh.
233
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,618
Mom, what about
My science project?
234
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,720
Judy, she doesn't
Have time.
235
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,355
My costume's going
To take all night.
236
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,992
Harriette, where are the black
Socks? Have you seen them?
237
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,626
Hey, mom,
Where's dinner?
238
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,895
[talking at once]
239
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:11,331
Alright, alright
That's it!
240
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,267
I've asked you again and again
To help out around here,
241
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,703
And you've ignored me.
Well, from this moment on,
242
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,339
You'll see what it's like
Having to fend for yourselves!
243
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,308
Because harriette winslow
Is on strike!
244
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,310
Move out of my way!
245
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,786
Yo, dad.
Is that legal?
246
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,711
Mom, this place
Is really getting gross.
247
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,880
Then clean it up.
248
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,949
I'm still on strike.
249
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,755
I can't pitch in
Right now.
250
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,457
I promised grandma
I'd help her.
251
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,658
For what?
252
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,560
Tonight's that charity
Bachelor auction.
253
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,229
Oh, lord.
Remember last year
254
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,866
When she bought that date with
That retired underwear model.
255
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,333
Then she demanded
Her money back
256
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,170
When she found out
He modeled ladies
Underwear.
257
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,808
Harriette!
258
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,210
Carl!
259
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:36,749
Harriette, I can't find
My ripped jeans and my bandana.
260
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,351
I'll call the fbi, dear.
261
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,154
I need those things.
262
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,822
Tonight is my
Undercover drug bust,
263
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,958
And I don't have
A thing to wear.
264
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,593
Carl, where did you
See 'em last?
265
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,063
Well, I put them in
The hamper two whole days ago.
266
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,866
Carl, chase the rainbow.
267
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,371
Honey, check
The clothes hamper.
268
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,241
Gee, didn't anybody
Do laundry around here?
269
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,743
Not me.
I'm still on strike.
270
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,080
Well, excuse me,
Norma rae.
271
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:08,748
Look, carl--
272
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,850
No, you look.
273
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,086
Now, if you want to play
274
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,055
This strike game
With the kiddies,
275
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,958
It's okey-dokey
With me.
276
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:22,295
But now, you're messin'
With the big kahuna.
277
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,968
And the big kahuna
Wants some attention
278
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,104
From his little wahini.
279
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,742
And what would you like
Your wahini to do?
280
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,045
Well, the hut's a mess.
281
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,449
So why don't you
Just hula yourself
282
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,117
On into the laundry room
283
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:48,021
And wash the big kahuna's
Wiki-wiki!
284
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,964
Either the big kahuna's
Had too many mai-tais...
285
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,534
Or he's got his head
Up his volcano.
286
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,944
Because there is no way
This little wahini
287
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,147
Is going anywhere
Near your wiki-wiki.
288
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,688
Oh come on, harriette,
I just want my pants.
289
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,190
Then, wash them yourself, dear.
290
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,459
You always do this! Every time
The kids get your dander up
291
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,560
I have to suffer--
292
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,561
[doorbell rings]
293
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,197
I'll get it!
294
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,000
It's probably for me,
You don't have any friends.
295
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:37,837
Hello.
296
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,739
Are your
Parents home?
297
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:40,940
Beats me.
298
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,343
Are you here
To clean?
299
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,213
Um, no.
300
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:50,483
Well, I'd love to chat,
But I have to go make dinner.
301
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,418
You're making dinner?
302
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,022
Yep! We're having
Hot fudge sundaes!
303
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,491
Thank god.
I'm sick of candy bars.
304
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,441
Ooh, grandma,
You look beautiful.
305
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,742
Oh, thanks, honey.
306
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,744
I hope 2oo bucks
Is enough
307
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,746
To buy a decent man.
308
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:25,052
You just be patient and don't
Buy the first guy that you see.
309
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,220
It's a recession,
Sugar.
310
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,323
I might be able
To buy two!
311
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,527
Carl, you look fine.
312
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,563
No, I don't.
313
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,998
You know I like
To wear my ripped jeans
314
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,368
When I go out
To buy drugs.
315
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,238
Hey! Who are you?
316
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,241
I'm vivian connors...
317
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,743
Your son's math teacher.
318
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:54,314
It is no wonder
He is acting up in class.
319
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:59,086
How can he live
In this mad house?
320
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,054
Excuse me?
321
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,060
What are you
Talking about?
322
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,296
Eddie said there were
Problems at home,
323
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,399
But this is appalling.
324
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:15,402
Thank god the boy is just
Pulling harmless pranks.
325
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:20,473
With this kind of home life we
Are lucky he is not blowing up
Federal buildings!
326
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,745
Miss connors?
327
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,647
Oh, eddie.
328
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,017
You poor child.
329
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:34,087
Come here.
You need a hug.
330
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,192
Steven, I wanna thank you
For urging me to get involved.
331
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,795
This young man would've been
Better off raised by wolves.
332
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,799
You mean, that student
With troubles at home
333
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,501
Is eddie winslow?
334
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,436
That's right.
335
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:50,637
Oh, boy.
336
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,606
And I would never
Have come here
337
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:57,377
If you hadn't urged me
To get involved.
338
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:58,578
Oh, boy.
339
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,415
Come here, steve!
340
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,451
Now, eddo,
341
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,353
You have enough troubles
On your hand.
342
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,856
No sense adding manslaughter
To that list.
343
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,927
Will somebody please
Tell us what's going on?
344
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,329
I will.
345
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,471
Your son has been
Acting up in class,
346
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:29,176
And he confided that he is
Having problems at home.
347
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,082
Miss connors,
I assure you
348
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:39,452
That our son,
Edward winslow,
349
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,754
Is not having
Problems at home...
350
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:42,755
Uh-uh.
351
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:43,790
Yet.
352
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,595
Edward, go wait in
The kitchen for me...Now!
353
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,829
Yes, sir.
354
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,933
Harriette, would you please
Explain to miss connors here
355
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,936
That we are
A loving family?
356
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:57,970
I'll try.
357
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,372
Good. While you're doing that,
358
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:02,442
I'll be in the kitchen
Killing our son.
359
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:06,946
Hi, dad.
360
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:08,681
Knock it off.
361
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,250
Yes, sir.
362
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,018
You know, edward,
363
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:15,255
I just don't get it.
364
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:18,124
You appear
To be quite normal.
365
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,627
You have
All five senses,
366
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,262
You walk erect,
367
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,997
But yet you often act
368
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:27,334
Like a bonehead!
369
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,272
Edward, your mother is out there
Trying to explain things
370
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:35,007
To one very traumatized
Math teacher.
371
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,876
Dad, let's just face it
372
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,779
Miss connors just picked
A bad day to visit.
373
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,751
And I picked a bad
Time to say that.
374
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,389
Edward, let me
Get this straight.
375
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:53,260
Now you pulled a stupid stunt
In class and got caught.
376
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,495
But instead of taking
Your lumps like a man,
377
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:59,499
You instead try to make your
Poor teacher feel sorry for you.
378
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:03,836
You lied about us just
To save your scrawny neck.
379
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,238
Well, yeah.
380
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,042
I was in big trouble,
And I panicked.
381
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,880
Edward, whenever
I talk about you,
382
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:17,884
I tell people that my son
Has a straight "A" average.
383
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,287
He's witty,
He's clever,
384
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:23,956
And man, he's even
Better-looking than
Denzel washington.
385
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,925
Heh heh.
386
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,895
See, when I lie,
I lie up.
387
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,605
I am very, very proud
Of my family.
388
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,342
I put them on pedestals
Because, son,
389
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:45,278
That's where I think
That they deserve to be.
390
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,681
You're right, dad.
391
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,049
I'm sorry.
392
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,419
You know, son,
I'm a cop.
393
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:57,189
And every day I see families
Out there who really do have
Problems.
394
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,693
That tragedy is nothing
To make light of.
395
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:06,366
I know, dad. And, and, I'm lucky
To have a happy home.
396
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:10,670
Well, I am really glad
To hear you say that,
397
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:13,105
Because you're going
To spending a lot of time
398
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,907
In your happy home.
399
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,510
Ouch.
400
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,349
So, how's it going
Out there?
401
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:24,183
Well, I explained
Why the house
402
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,818
Is under 3 feet
Of trash.
403
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,455
And I think she understands
Why you were going out
404
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,989
To score drugs,
405
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:32,825
But she's having real trouble
With your mother buying men.
406
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,773
Alright, listen up.
407
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,543
From now on, I expect
Each and everyone of you
408
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,413
To pitch in and help your mom
Out around the house.
409
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,414
Is that understood?
410
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,314
Yeah.
Yeah.
411
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,749
Well, be happy about it!
412
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,551
Yes, sir!
Yes!
413
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,389
Well, thank you,
Everybody.
414
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:04,457
Okay, the strike is over.
415
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:05,925
Let's clean up
This house.
416
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,560
No, no, sweetheart.
417
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,261
Since I set
The bad example,
418
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,897
I'm going to set
The good example.
419
00:22:10,963 --> 00:22:13,366
I want you to take
The family out to dinner.
420
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:16,903
And when you get back,
This house is gonna be
Squeaky clean.
421
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:20,707
Let's go to
Bubba's barbecue!
422
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,775
No, I want to go to
Mighty weenie!
423
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,077
No, let's go to
Burger palace.
424
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:28,381
The waiters
Have nice buns.
425
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:30,583
[doorbell rings]
426
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,389
Mr. Winslow, we're from
Squeaky cleaning.
427
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:39,358
Hey, right on time.
It's all yours.
428
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:44,130
Jeez, frank, we're gonna have to
Call for backup.
29530
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