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1
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,140
You know,
I hate to say this,
2
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,942
But I'm going to
Whup you ladies bad.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,513
Hearts is a game
Of strategy and skill,
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:16,384
Qualities that I happen
To be blessed with.
5
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,288
-wanna play for money?
-no.
6
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,556
[steve]
Ahoy, winslows!
7
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,158
[imitates bosun's pipes]
8
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:30,531
Steven q. Urkel
Requesting permission
To come aboard.
9
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,036
Hidy-hidy-ho!
10
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:47,014
Well, what's
The haps, paps?
11
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,651
We're busy having
A relaxing game
Of hearts, steve.
12
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,220
You can't be
Too relaxed.
13
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:56,190
You have
A queen of spades.
14
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:59,193
Oops. Oh...
Oops, I'm sorry.
15
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,961
I probably shouldn't
Have said that.
16
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,463
Ow!
17
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,665
What's wrong,
Steve?
18
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:08,702
Lately I've been
Having a little pain
In my tum-tum.
19
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:11,839
Maybe your shorts
Are pulled up too high.
20
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,210
No, they're where
They always are--
21
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,647
Tucked right up
Under my armpits.
22
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:23,451
So, babycakes,
Care to trip
The light fantastic
23
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,019
With me at the
School sock hop?
24
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,255
No, thanks.
25
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:30,124
Jumping jehoshaphat,
Woman!
26
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,126
I've asked you out
Over 900 times,
27
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,894
And you've said no
Every time.
28
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:37,265
It's important
To be consistent.
29
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,267
Angel eyes,
Even an urkel
30
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,102
Can only take
So much rejection.
31
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,805
Why, if you
Turn me down again...
32
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,375
I will surely die.
33
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,945
So, sock hop?
34
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,747
No, steve.
35
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,983
Ow!
36
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,551
Steve,
Stop faking it.
37
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,521
I'm not faking,
Love muffin,
I'm hurting here!
38
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,493
Oh...Ow!
39
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,395
Ow.
40
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,229
Ow!
41
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,797
Steve,
Are you okay?
42
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,900
Ow...Ow, ow, oh.
43
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,404
Ohh...
44
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,640
Ow! Ohh...
45
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,243
Come on, steve,
Stop fooling around.
46
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,146
Yeah, steve, we mean it.
Get up!
47
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,482
Steve?
Steve!
48
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:29,917
Steve!
49
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:32,620
Harriette,
Call an ambulance!
50
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,087
No!
Oh, no!
51
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,824
Put his head
On this pillow.
52
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,202
* it's a rare condition *
53
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,837
* in this day and age *
54
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:53,006
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
55
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,777
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
56
00:02:56,844 --> 00:03:01,449
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
57
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,452
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
58
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:08,989
* inside these gentle walls *
59
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:12,526
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
60
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:16,297
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
61
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,100
* as days go by *
62
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:24,538
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
63
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,985
Ah.
64
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,454
Ohh!
65
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,657
Ohh.
66
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,027
Ah.
67
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:48,629
Ehh.
68
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,964
Ohh...
69
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,165
Huh...
70
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,601
Winslows...
71
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,435
You're here.
72
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,904
Of course,
Steve.
Of course.
73
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,173
Oh, you love me.
You really love me!
74
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,411
I don't know.
I don't know.
75
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:06,013
You just missed
My mom and dad.
76
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,048
Did they go
To the cafeteria?
77
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,617
No. They didn't
Want to miss
78
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:13,354
Their first "Couples
Without children" meeting.
79
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,190
Here, I thought these
Would cheer you up.
80
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,861
Where did you get
This beautiful bouquet
Of flowers?
81
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,997
The room next door.
The guy just croaked.
82
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:33,674
Uncle steve, I got you
A magazine.
83
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,445
Astronomy today.
Oh, thanks, ritchie.
84
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,681
You're outta this world,
Little buddy.
85
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:41,915
It was my idea.
86
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,319
Yeah, but I figured out
The dumpster.
87
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,490
Yeah, but I held your feet.
88
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:50,958
That's enough, you two.
89
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,128
Hello, everybody.
I'm dr. Skiles.
90
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,398
What's up?
Hi, doctor.
91
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,468
"Mario funziano."
92
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,436
Didn't he just croak?
93
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:06,707
Yeah. Now his flowers
Are cheering me up.
94
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,579
Give it to me
Straight, doc.
95
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,882
I'm a man.
I can take it.
96
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,249
You got
Appendicitis.
97
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,718
[gasps]
98
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,588
Steve, you better
Get some rest.
99
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,223
I'm going to take
That appendix out.
100
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,226
Oh, I see.
101
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,895
It's a standard
Procedure.
102
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,398
I don't foresee
Any problems at all.
103
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,832
Well, thanks, doc.
104
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:35,669
I have every
Confidence in you
And your abilities.
105
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,314
Don't worry.
106
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:49,817
You'll be back
Bugging us
In no time.
107
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,386
One can only hope.
108
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,488
Now if you'll
Excuse me, loved ones.
109
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,590
I'd like to speak
To laura alone.
110
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:59,159
Now, I know you're all
Reluctant to leave--
111
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,429
Don't worry
About it.
Bye.
112
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,770
What's on
Your mind, steve?
113
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,383
Laura, I've loved you
114
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:26,887
Ever since I first
Laid eyes on you.
115
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:30,057
Uh, I have
A tennis court
Reserved.
116
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,061
Honeybunch,
I may not make it
117
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,263
Through
This medical ordeal.
118
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,700
Would you please
Give me something
To remember you by?
119
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:40,901
Like what?
120
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:41,935
Marry me!
No.
121
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:42,770
No.
We get engaged.
122
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,404
No.
We go steady. A date.
123
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,639
On the hand?
A kiss.
124
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:46,940
Forehead.
On the lips.
125
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,542
Deal.
126
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,425
Oh, thank you, laura.
127
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:06,994
You're welcome,
Steve.
128
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,395
Laura?
129
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:09,429
Yes?
130
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,231
You're leaning
On my appendix.
131
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:15,035
Ooh...Ahh!
132
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,511
[snoring]
133
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,152
Steve?
134
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,722
Oh, laura!
135
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,127
Aah!
Aah!
136
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,294
Aah!
Aah!
137
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,897
Ptooie, ptooie,
Ptooie, ptooie,
138
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,599
Ptooie, ptooie,
139
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,834
Ptooie, ptooie.
140
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,938
Ptooie.
141
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,912
Oh, boy.
142
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,849
Laura, how did
Everything go?
143
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:06,119
Great.
Your kidney came out
Clean as a whistle.
144
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,555
Kidney?
145
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,659
Oh, you were
Funnin' me.
146
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,327
Ooh.
147
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,329
We better get going.
148
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,331
It's late,
And you need rest.
149
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:24,204
Oh, you guys
Are so, so good!
150
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:32,012
And I love you
Both so, so
Darn, darn much!
151
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,046
Steve.
152
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:36,516
And that's not just
The demerol talking.
153
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:39,953
That's straight
From the old ticker.
154
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,156
Uh, steve,
Get some rest now.
155
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,392
Well, I don't think
I can.
156
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,294
[snoring]
157
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,368
Hey, dad,
Why are you so happy?
158
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,870
The doctor said
159
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,472
That steve
Can't come home
For three days.
160
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,642
That's 72 hours!
161
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,678
Three days urkel-free!
162
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:09,149
They'll be
The three happiest days
Of my life!
163
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,829
Oh, charlene,
What's going on?
164
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,396
You've got
A roommate.
165
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,767
A man got shot
In the rear end.
166
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,603
Oh, lordy, a bullet
In the butt.
167
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,876
Ohh...
168
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,045
Ohh...
169
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,680
Ohh.
170
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,815
Big guy?
171
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:46,353
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
172
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,889
Oh, no!
173
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,362
Hi, carl!
174
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,931
How you doing,
Big guy?
175
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:01,568
Nurse, aren't there
Any other rooms
Available?
176
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,470
I'm afraid not.
177
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,406
I--I am not a rich man,
178
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,608
But I'll pay anything.
179
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,712
It's not a question of money.
180
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,447
Wait a minute. What about
The new east wing?
181
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,650
It hasn't been built yet.
182
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,552
I'll wait.
183
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,988
Listen to him.
184
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,990
If I didn't know
Him any better,
185
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:26,293
I'd think he didn't
Want to be here
With me.
186
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,128
Let's get him
Into the bed.
187
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,562
Okay, on 3.
188
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,531
1...2...3.
189
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,800
Ouch!
Ooh!
190
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,571
Okay, plan "B."
191
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,008
Slide him off
With the sheet.
192
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,777
1...2...3.
193
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,987
Officer, we're going
To have to roll you
Onto the bed.
194
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,556
Oh, alright, alright.
Just hurry up!
195
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:57,590
Ready?
196
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,759
Alright,
Easy, easy.
197
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:02,229
Ooh, ooh, ow, oh!
198
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,966
Stand back!
199
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,743
Just stay away.
I can do this myself!
200
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:16,810
I'm a wounded man!
201
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:20,113
This isn't
A log rolling contest!
202
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,618
Oh.
203
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,687
Ooh. Oh.
204
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,857
Ohh! Oh...Oh...Oh.
205
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,860
Oh--ow! Oh. Ah.
206
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,295
Your doctor
Will be in
To see you soon.
207
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,229
Thank you.
208
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,465
Use your call button
If you need me.
209
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,733
Thank you.
210
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,335
You're very nice.
Thank you.
211
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,774
So, carl, tell me
What happened.
212
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,843
Did you sit
On your gun again?
213
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,913
No, I didn't.
214
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,281
I surprised
Some slimeballs
215
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:56,483
Trying to break into
A jewelry store.
216
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,818
Did they get away?
217
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,519
One of them did.
218
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,088
But I tackled
The other one
219
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,324
And held him down
With my good cheek
Until help arrived.
220
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,727
Carl? Carl!
221
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,562
Carl, I came
As soon as I heard.
222
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,598
Harriette, I'm okay.
Don't worry. I'm alright.
223
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,800
Oh, carl!
224
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:13,834
He'll be...Uh...
225
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,303
He'll be fine, rachel.
226
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,039
I'll see to it.
227
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,944
Why is your arm
Around me?
228
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,713
You're emotionally
Vulnerable right now,
229
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,349
So I thought
I'd make a move on you.
230
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,286
You're lucky.
231
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,321
Oh, I am?
232
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,422
Yeah.
233
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:39,126
You won't have to go far
For medical treatment.
234
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,867
Guess you're
One of those chicks
235
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,069
That won't loosen up
Without booze.
236
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,342
Hi, lieu.
237
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,679
Hey, nerd. What're you
Doing here?
238
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,681
Well, I had my appendix
Taken out.
239
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,183
Did you use an anesthetic?
240
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,417
Well, of course.
241
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:06,786
Wuss.
242
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,096
Carl,
You're not eating.
243
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,065
I got shot in the butt,
Not in the head.
244
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,503
Fire it on over here,
Big guy.
245
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,016
Look at my life.
246
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,018
I got this pain
In the butt,
247
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,988
And I've got that pain
In the butt.
248
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,458
How could it get
Any worse?
249
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,227
[plays arpeggio]
250
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:30,003
Oh, of course.
A concertina.
251
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:34,174
Now, let's see.
What should I play?
252
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,976
Please don't do
This to me.
253
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,378
I don't know that one.
254
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:43,850
I've got it.
I'll play a medley
255
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,419
Dedicated to your
Particular injury.
256
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:52,059
* moon river *
257
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,461
* wider than a mile *
258
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,664
* I'm crossing you
In style *
259
00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,433
* some day **
260
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,035
Very funny.
261
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,305
* blue moon *
262
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,875
* you saw me
Standin' alone *
263
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,444
* without a dream
In my heart *
264
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,381
* without a love
Of my own **
265
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,984
Would you please...
266
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,052
* shine on *
267
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:22,455
* shine on, harvest moon *
268
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,757
* up in the sky *
269
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,794
* I ain't
Had no lovin' *
270
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,429
* since january *
Steve--
271
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,264
* february,
June and ju-- **
272
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,732
Steve!
273
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,501
Yes?
274
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,673
No more moon songs.
275
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:41,708
Well, why not?
276
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,843
I need
Peace and quiet.
277
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,678
I've had
A major operation.
278
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,280
Yes, you did.
279
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,916
And you'd think you'd learn
To turn the other cheek.
280
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,385
Ha ha ha--[snort]--
Oh--[snort]--oh!
281
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,123
Wait a sec.
282
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,526
I'll be right over with
A sure fire cheer upper.
283
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,005
Ooh.
284
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,408
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
285
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,809
Oh, I made it.
286
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,578
I'm so glad.
287
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,381
Say hi to alfred.
288
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,516
Alfred?
289
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,085
What the heck is that?
290
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,054
My appendix.
291
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:33,926
Ooh...Ow.
292
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,362
What are you
Trying to do?
293
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,131
I'm trying to lower the back,
So I can sleep.
294
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,167
But I don't know
Which button it is.
295
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,702
Let me try it.
That's alright--
296
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,804
Let me try.
297
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,938
Now, let's see...
298
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:46,973
Which button--
299
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,375
Ah!
300
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,609
Oh!
301
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,978
Sorry, wrong button.
302
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,813
Thank you!
Give me this.
303
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,248
Are you trying
To kill me?
304
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:58,485
Of course not.
How could you even ask?
305
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,687
You're not a very
Patient patient.
306
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,890
Alright, that's it steve.
I've had it with you.
307
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,925
Go back to your bed
And shut up.
308
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,394
-what?
-you heard me.
309
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,596
I have got
To get some sleep.
310
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,831
That means no more
Helping with my bed,
311
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,166
No more pickled
Body parts,
312
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,303
And no more
Musical tributes
To my butt!
313
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,309
Well!
314
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,245
If that's the way
You feel,
315
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,447
I'll just
Leave you alone.
316
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,481
Well, good.
317
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,383
Come on, alfred.
318
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,684
Alfred.
319
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:42,995
Officer winslow?
320
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,097
Yeah.
321
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,366
I'm dr. Jenkins.
322
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,470
Where's mr...
Funziano?
323
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,172
Dead.
324
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,675
And I bet the food
Killed him.
325
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,477
Well, how do you feel?
326
00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,747
To be perfectly honest,
I've had better days.
327
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,382
You just need
Some rest.
328
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,817
Would you like something
To help you sleep?
329
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,052
A shot?
330
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,254
Well, yeah.
331
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,422
That's exactly
What it is.
332
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,390
Whoa.
333
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,760
Hey, wait a minute.
You're no doctor.
334
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,328
Very good.
335
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:18,631
Now, try and guess
What this is.
336
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,734
What, is there
A full moon tonight?
337
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,035
Shut up.
338
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,438
Say your prayers, winslow.
You're history.
339
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,408
Wait. At least
Tell me who you are
340
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,842
And why
You're doing this.
341
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,612
You busted
My brother ralphie.
342
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:33,480
Ralphie, ralphie.
343
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,114
Would that be ralphie the pimp,
344
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,149
Ralphie the loan shark,
345
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,318
Or ralphie the snitch?
346
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,353
The guy who shot you
In the butt.
347
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,155
Oh, yes.
Ralphie the robber.
348
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,757
Nice guy. Good shot.
Great gun.
349
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,295
So you're
The only witness.
350
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,297
I kill you,
And ralphie walks.
351
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,733
Now, jenkins, you're
Not thinking clearly.
352
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,570
You know, you must have
One heck of a headache.
353
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,339
No, I don't.
354
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,309
Well, you do now.
355
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,277
Good work, steve.
356
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:10,983
Well, you know,
357
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:14,086
I've always been quick
With a bedpan.
358
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,689
If I only had
My handcuffs.
359
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,291
You don't
Need them.
360
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,003
Steve, thanks for saving
My husband's life.
361
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,905
Aw, shucks.
It wasn't nothing.
362
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,175
The world wouldn't be the same
Without the big ol' lug.
363
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,545
I appreciate
What you did.
364
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:42,382
In my book,
You're a hero.
365
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,984
Oh.
366
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,886
Your turn, sweetums.
367
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,891
Uh, steve, I kissed you
Yesterday, remember?
368
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,294
Still weak
In the knees, huh?
369
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,596
No, more
In the stomach area.
370
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,837
See you in my dreams,
Sweetums.
371
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,709
Carl...
372
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:14,681
I assure you
That I won't
Annoy you anymore.
373
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,516
You won't hear
A peep from me
374
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:19,719
For the next two days.
375
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,654
Uh...Steve?
376
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,855
Yes?
377
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:26,926
Look, if you feel
The urge to peep
Once or twice,
378
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,595
It's okay.
379
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,697
I mean,
You saved my life,
380
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,699
And I shouldn't
Have snapped at you.
381
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,868
You were just trying
To help me.
382
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,872
Don't worry
About it, carl.
383
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,441
It's forgotten.
384
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,810
You know,
385
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:47,347
When--when you collapsed
On my living room floor,
386
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,148
Well, I thought
You were faking.
387
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,217
-but I wasn't.
-no.
388
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,519
And then I found out
389
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,220
That you had to have
An operation.
390
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:57,990
All I could think about
Was three days
Without you around.
391
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,827
Oh, my.
392
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,263
Then, when I got hurt,
393
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:07,567
You went out of your way
To make me feel better.
394
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,369
True.
395
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,103
But did I appreciate it?
396
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,506
No, siree.
397
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:18,645
No. I yelled at you
To leave me alone.
398
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,847
And then
You saved my life.
399
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,982
Yes, indeedy.
400
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,451
What does that
Tell ya?
401
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,954
I'm okay,
And you need work.
402
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:37,730
You're right. But, hey,
403
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,467
You were offering me
The greatest gift
Of all,
404
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,769
And, up until now,
I haven't accepted it.
405
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,037
What gift is that?
406
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,440
Your friendship.
407
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,442
And if you're still
Offering it,
408
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:52,845
I'd like to accept.
409
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,614
Friends, big guy.
410
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,516
Friends.
411
00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:08,695
Let's get some shut eye.
412
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:09,562
Good idea.
413
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,263
I'll get your light,
Buddy.
414
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,865
Thanks, pal.
415
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,134
Oh!
416
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,869
Sorry! Wrong button.
417
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,305
Ow! Oh!
418
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,741
Well, see, this baby's
Got a hair trigger.
419
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:23,976
Let me raise your head,
Just a little.
420
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,145
No, don't!
421
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:27,714
Oh, sorry.
422
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:29,716
Ooh...
423
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:34,554
I'm sorry. I am
Truly sorry, big guy.
424
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:36,689
No!
425
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,725
Not again!
426
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:42,028
You should really complain
About this bed.
27442
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