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1
00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,940
Carl, I called
The precinct
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,976
And told them
You wouldn't be in
Today.
3
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,279
Oh, thank you,
Baby gums.
4
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,915
Is there anything else
You need?
5
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,117
No.
6
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,751
I'll just lie here
7
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:21,155
And let the germs
Eat my body.
8
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,456
Look at it this way.
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,459
It'll be years
Before you feel the loss.
10
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:27,895
That's right,
Harriette.
11
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,430
Mock the sick.
12
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:30,498
Sorry, honey.
13
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,467
Drink lots of fluids
And get plenty of rest.
14
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,735
Mmm...
15
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,637
Mmm.
16
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,044
Ahh.
17
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,813
Peace.
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,382
Good morning, sunshine!
19
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,522
Steve...
20
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,758
And how's our
Congested cop today?
21
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:58,792
Hmm?
22
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,027
Why aren't you
In school?
23
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,029
Because I'm needed here.
24
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,365
I called principal shimata
25
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,600
And asked him
If I could skip a day.
26
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,604
Well, he was thrilled
To grant my request!
27
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,108
Remind me
To thank him.
28
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,544
Let's play a game.
29
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,579
I brought
A bonanza of choices.
30
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:19,947
No, thanks.
31
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,883
I want to lie here
And rest.
32
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,418
Monopoly?
33
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:25,453
No.
34
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,287
No.
Clue?
35
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,555
No.
Parcheesi?
36
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,557
Scrabble? Checkers?
Chutes and ladders?
37
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,825
Yahtzee? Risk?
Mr. Potato head?
38
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,165
No. No. No.
No. No. No!
39
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,466
But, carl--
40
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,300
Go home!
41
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,501
Just give me--
42
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,871
Go home, go home,
Go home, go home!
43
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,706
I don't have
To take this.
44
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,108
I'm going home.
45
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,979
Sorry steve.
46
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,515
Sorry? I got
That one right here.
47
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,398
* it's a rare condition *
48
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,032
* this day and age *
49
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,867
* to read any good news *
50
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,303
* on the newspaper page *
51
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,937
* and love and tradition *
52
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,806
* of the grand design *
53
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,341
* some people say *
54
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,511
* is even harder to find *
55
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,547
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
56
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:30,418
* inside these gentle walls *
57
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,420
* 'cause all I see *
58
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,255
* is the tower of dreams *
59
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:38,759
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
60
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:42,463
* as days go by *
61
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,198
* it's the bigger love *
62
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,335
* of the family **
63
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,247
Girl, I got to make
A hair appointment.
64
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:02,683
Should I wear my hair up,
Down, to the side?
65
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:06,654
Maybe I'll shave it off
And start over.
66
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,188
Go for it.
67
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,991
Max, I've been nominated
For homecoming queen.
68
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,125
Why aren't you excited?
69
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:16,196
Three reasons.
1--I wasn't nominated.
70
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:19,400
2--I wasn't nominated.
71
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:24,272
And 3--I wasn't nominated.
72
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,506
You weren't
Nominated?
73
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,907
No!
74
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,209
So...
75
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,245
Who are you going
To the dance with?
76
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,913
Arnold shephard.
77
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,784
One of his legs
Is longer
Than the other.
78
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:37,818
So?
79
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:38,886
So when we slow dance
80
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,390
We make small circles
To the left!
81
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,194
I'm hoping ted curran
Asks me.
82
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,397
Ted better
Ask you soon.
83
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:53,200
Otherwise,
You'll end up with
Some frightening geek!
84
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,704
How's my little
Homecoming queen?
85
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,977
I haven't won yet.
86
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,746
Oh, come on.
87
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,315
You can't lose.
88
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,317
With your smile,
Your charm,
89
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:13,387
And that
Bodacious bod...Ooh.
90
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,590
At least
You can count
On one vote.
91
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,958
I mean, two.
92
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,897
So, my luscious
Little love bucket...
93
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,334
Wanna go to the homecoming
Dance with me?
94
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,935
No, thanks.
95
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,671
Alright! Yes!
96
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,172
Ooh!
97
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,842
Why are you so happy?
She turned you down.
98
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,811
Ah, yes, but with
A simple "No, thanks."
99
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,881
Yesterday she said,
"Drop dead, nerd boy."
100
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:52,292
I'm wearing
You down, baby.
101
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,298
I'm wearing
You dow-w-w-n.
102
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,974
What have you
Always wanted
But couldn't get?
103
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,743
My own housekeeper.
104
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,778
Besides that.
105
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:11,879
My own bathroom.
106
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,046
Besides that.
107
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,948
More closet space.
108
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,051
You're ruining this.
109
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,252
Piano lessons!
110
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,221
You always wanted
Piano lessons!
111
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,424
Carl, we're stretching
Every dollar.
112
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,827
Nobody in this family
Can afford to learn anything.
113
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,398
Sweetheart,
That's the beauty of it.
114
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,865
These lessons
Are free.
115
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:32,833
How come?
116
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,735
I nabbed a purse
Snatcher today,
117
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,137
And the lady
Who owned the purse
118
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,573
Offered me
Free piano lessons.
119
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,010
Could you keep
The enthusiasm down
120
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,012
Just a little,
Harriette?
121
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,717
I'm sorry, honey.
You're right.
122
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,820
Besides, we've got
This great piano,
123
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:56,023
And I've always wanted
To learn how to play it.
124
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,592
Now you can.
125
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,827
Thanks, sweetheart.
126
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,028
Are you happy?
127
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,930
Yes, you have.
128
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,966
How happy?
129
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,836
You'll never know
130
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,905
Because I have
To pick up the kids.
131
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,676
***
132
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,945
***
***
***
***
133
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:26,019
Steve...No, steve,
You can't come over now.
134
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,821
I'm studying.
135
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:32,259
No, I don't want to hear
The rap song you wrote.
136
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,127
Steve--
137
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,829
Steve?
138
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:36,864
Hello?
139
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,108
[tune to
Around the way girl]
140
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,980
*** ***
***
141
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,790
* I'm here to deliver
A rappin' telegram *
142
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,025
* to miss laura winslow,
My honey lamb *
143
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,160
* she's been asked to the dance
By all the hunks in town *
144
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,930
* she just turns up her nose
And turns them down *
145
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,865
* she could go with steve,
It would really be hot *
146
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,033
* 'cause he would
Jump for joy *
147
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,635
* and get his shorts
In a knot *
148
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:16,937
* so he's askin' again,
Bendin' on one knee *
149
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:20,774
* oh, laura, my pet,
Won't you please go with me? **
150
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,747
* I told you no,
So I'll be more graphic *
151
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,017
* go out that door and
Go play in some traffic **
152
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,552
[cuts music off]
153
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,259
I've asked you
To the dance 26 times.
154
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,762
You've shot me down
26 times.
155
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,764
I'm asking you
One final time
156
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,734
Because I refuse
To beg!
157
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,939
Will you go
To the dance with me?
158
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,040
No.
159
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,275
Please, laura!
160
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,710
Oh, please. Please!
161
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,545
Steve.
162
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,146
No, laura!
163
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,714
If you
Don't leave,
164
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,816
I'll drag you
Into the backyard
165
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,652
And turn the
Garden hose on you.
166
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,854
You know
What that's like.
167
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,526
That won't
Be necessary.
168
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:16,096
After all,
I have my dignity.
169
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,833
Steve, saying no
Because I don't
Want to go with you
170
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,035
Is just one
Of the reasons.
171
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,470
Oh?
172
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,906
I'm hoping
Ted curran asks me.
173
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,207
Ted curran?
174
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,077
You mean the good looking,
Popular jock with straight a's?
175
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:30,944
Yeah.
176
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,248
What do you see
In that loser?
177
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:38,351
I like him,
A lot.
178
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,753
What are you gonna do
179
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,089
If this curran character
Doesn't ask you?
180
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,123
Then I won't go.
181
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,958
Laura, you have to.
182
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,960
You were nominated
For homecoming queen.
183
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,963
If I can't go to
The dance with ted
184
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:50,998
I won't go at all.
185
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:55,102
I refuse to settle
For second best.
186
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,574
I understand.
187
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:04,111
That's the way
I feel about you.
188
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,087
Okay men.
Hit the showers.
189
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,730
Curran, a moment of
Your time, please.
190
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,231
What is it, urkel?
191
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:25,799
This won't
Take long.
192
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,835
I just want to know
Who you're taking
193
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,002
To the
Homecoming dance.
194
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,071
I haven't
Asked anyone yet.
195
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:34,374
How do you feel
About laura winslow?
196
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,009
How do I feel?
197
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,411
She's the prettiest
Girl in this school.
198
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,647
I'd love to take her,
199
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,750
But I heard she turned
Everyone down.
200
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,719
If you ask her,
She won't turn you down.
201
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,155
Really?
How do you know?
202
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,157
I just know, okay?
203
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,460
I'm sorry.
204
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,764
I occasionally suffer
From irregularity.
205
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,466
This is great.
206
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,669
Great.
I'll ask her today.
207
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,371
Excellent.
208
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,140
Urkel, why are
You doing this?
209
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,710
Everybody knows
You're crazy about laura.
210
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779
Ironic, isn't it?
211
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,481
But laura wants
To go with you,
212
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,751
And all I care about
Is her happiness.
213
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,688
Wow! You're, like,
Some kind of...
214
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,323
Nerd saint.
215
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,971
Sorry I can't stay
For your piano lesson,
216
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,973
But the fuzz balls
Couldn't do
217
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,043
Without
Master blaster winslow.
218
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,915
[doorbell rings]
219
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,855
Good evening.
Is harriette winslow here?
220
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,298
Who wants to know?
221
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,566
Oscar marmelzat.
222
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:10,337
I'm here to give harriette
A piano lesson.
223
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,006
Oh, no, you're not.
224
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,242
A little old lady
Is supposed to do that.
225
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,077
What have you done
With her?
226
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,013
I'll be taking over
My mother's lessons.
227
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,784
She caught a cold
From some overweight cop.
228
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,826
I see.
229
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,728
Well, I'm carl winslow.
230
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,629
This is your student,
231
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,899
My wife harriette.
232
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,200
Hello,
Mr. Marmelzat.
233
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,368
Call me oscar.
234
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,502
Oscar.
235
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,670
Let's begin.
236
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,939
Certainly.
Ahem.
237
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,479
Let me get this
For you.
238
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,181
Thank you.
239
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,949
Well, I'm off.
240
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:01,989
I said
241
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,256
I'm off.
242
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,291
Okay, bye, carl.
243
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,692
Goodbye.
244
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,895
Place your hands
On the keyboard.
245
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,997
I'll put my hands
On yours
246
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,199
To help you find
The notes.
247
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,367
This is middle c.
248
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,769
Am I crowding you?
249
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,038
Oh, no. Not at all.
250
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,343
What is that
Lovely fragrance?
251
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,711
Arpege, chanel?
252
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,714
Barbecued chicken...
253
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,317
With a splash
Of tub 'n' tile cleaner.
254
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,584
Heh heh heh.
255
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,987
You have a wonderful
Sense of humor.
256
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,189
That's rare
In a beautiful woman.
257
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,191
Thank you.
258
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,426
Ahem.
259
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,397
I'm not going bowling.
260
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,534
You're not? How come?
261
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,536
I'm sick.
262
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,304
[cough cough]
263
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,640
Sneeze, sneeze.
264
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,075
I think
I'm having a relapse
265
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:58,245
Of that overweight
Cop virus.
266
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,646
That's too bad.
267
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,948
Oh, isn't it, though?
268
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,216
Continue your piano lesson.
269
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,053
I'll just sit
Right here...
270
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,022
And listen
Like a hawk.
271
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,164
Waldo?
What's up?
272
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,500
Were you dancing
With vicki
And mary ann?
273
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,701
Yeah.
274
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,337
Well, which one
Is your date?
275
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,172
They both are.
276
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,308
Why did you bring
Two girls here?
277
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,212
I really like vicki,
But mary ann has a car.
278
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,148
Waldo, that's
A rotten thing to do.
279
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,749
Yeah, and it backfired.
280
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,218
Mary ann's car
Is a two-seater,
281
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,853
So I had
To take the bus.
282
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,863
Laura, why, you look
283
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:27,300
Heartbreakingly
Beautiful tonight.
284
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,003
So, are you having
A good time with ted?
285
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,973
This is the best night
Of my entire life.
286
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,209
This is like
A dream come true.
287
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,581
I'm sorry, steve.
288
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,750
Hey, it's okay.
289
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,318
I'm happy for you
290
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,886
In a heartsick,
Gut-wrenching,
291
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:50,057
Near suicidal
Sort of way.
292
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,465
Laura, would
You like to dance?
293
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,200
Sure.
294
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,527
Laura?
295
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,595
Yeah?
296
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,497
I'm having
A great time.
297
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,464
Me, too.
298
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,034
And to think I almost
Didn't ask you.
299
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,535
I was hoping
You would.
300
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:40,340
I had cold feet
Until steve clued me in.
301
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,508
Steve?
302
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:46,313
He said if I asked you,
You'd probably say yes.
303
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,016
But that makes
No sense.
304
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,051
Steve is obsessed
With me.
305
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:54,321
He freaks out
When I even mention
Another guy.
306
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,823
He said going
To the dance with me
307
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,091
Would make you happy,
308
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,560
And that's all
He really cares about.
309
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,732
Steve said that?
310
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,766
Steve urkel?
311
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,435
Yeah.
312
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,978
I don't believe it.
313
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:23,550
Only one lesson and already I
Can play itsy bitsy spider.
314
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,653
Well, you're exceptional.
315
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,388
Thank you.
316
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:32,059
You know that I taught
Piano for over--
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
317
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,994
Goodnight.
318
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,964
Goodnight, oscar.
Thanks again.
319
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,101
You're welcome.
If you ever need--
320
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,505
How 'bout a snack?
321
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,874
Carl winslow,
Have you lost
Your mind?
322
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,909
Harriette,
One sandwich won't hurt.
323
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,311
I'm not talking
About that.
324
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,614
I'm talking about
Your rude, childish
Behavior.
325
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,017
Oh! Oh, oh.
326
00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,921
You mean with oscar
"Busy fingers"
Marmelzat?
327
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,490
"Busy fingers"?
328
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,492
Harriette,
He was all over you,
329
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,527
Groping, pawing,
And touching.
330
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,561
He was not.
331
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,397
Ho ho ho.
332
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,167
"Let me place
My hands on yours
333
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:17,337
"To help you find
The proper keys.
334
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,871
"What's that lovely
Fragrance
335
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,908
That you're wearing?"
336
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,510
Give me a break.
337
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,479
Carl, every time
338
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,914
Somebody looks
At me cross-eyed,
339
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,048
You go bananas.
340
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:31,551
You've got to stop
Being so jealous.
341
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,387
That guy was making
Moves on my wife.
342
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,223
Harriette, he was
Trying to get you
343
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,858
Between the sheet music!
344
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,195
With you sitting here
Watching?
345
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,564
Well, those musicians
Are kinky.
346
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,669
I don't know,
Harriette.
347
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,104
I...
348
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,073
You're a beautiful,
Vibrant,
349
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,143
Terrific woman,
350
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,811
And, frankly,
I'm scared.
351
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,913
Scared of what?
352
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,815
Well, that some guy
353
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,519
Who's younger
And thinner
354
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,687
And more handsome
355
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:11,158
Is going to come along
And steal you away.
356
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:15,562
Carl, that will
Never happen.
357
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,497
It won't?
358
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,932
It's my choice
Who I want to be with,
359
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,734
And I choose you.
360
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,738
Thanks, honey.
361
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,984
Hello.
362
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,352
[feedback]
363
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,121
Is this thing on?
364
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,823
Good!
365
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:48,728
Students, tonight our football
Team was magnificent.
366
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:54,201
They ran, they passed,
There was no stopping them.
367
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,937
But then the other
Team showed up.
368
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,006
You know the rest.
369
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,274
Well, now.
370
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:06,145
It's time to announce
Our homecoming queen.
371
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,687
Would the three nominees
Haul their butts up here?
372
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,525
Melanie pearson...
373
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,895
Laura winslow...
374
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,836
And delcina tutweiler!
375
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,773
This year,
376
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,510
The vanderbilt
Homecoming queen is...
377
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,681
Laura winslow!
378
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,865
Congratulations,
Laura.
379
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,835
Keep it short.
380
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,837
Thank you, everybody.
381
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:08,375
Okay! That
Was beautiful.
382
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,844
But now it's time
For the queen's dance.
383
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:16,516
Who's the lucky
Young man, laura?
384
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,129
This dance
Goes to the one guy
385
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,565
Who's always treated me
Like a queen.
386
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,568
Steve urkel.
387
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,775
[music to when a man
Loves a woman]
388
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:59,158
* when a man
Loves a woman *
389
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:03,195
* can't keep his mind
On nothin' else *
390
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,831
* he'd trade the world *
391
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,601
* for the good thing
He's found *
392
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,937
* if she is bad *
393
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,073
* he can't see it *
394
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,710
* she can do no wrong *
395
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,146
* turn his back
On his best friend *
396
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:23,383
* if he put her down *
397
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:29,088
* when a man
Loves a woman *
398
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:32,525
* he can do her no wrong *
399
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:37,930
* he could never love
Some other girl *
400
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:43,770
* yes, when a man
Loves a woman *
401
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:48,441
* I know exactly
How he feels... **
26191
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