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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:06,940 Carl, I called The precinct 2 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,976 And told them You wouldn't be in Today. 3 00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,279 Oh, thank you, Baby gums. 4 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,915 Is there anything else You need? 5 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,117 No. 6 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,751 I'll just lie here 7 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:21,155 And let the germs Eat my body. 8 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,456 Look at it this way. 9 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,459 It'll be years Before you feel the loss. 10 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:27,895 That's right, Harriette. 11 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,430 Mock the sick. 12 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:30,498 Sorry, honey. 13 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,467 Drink lots of fluids And get plenty of rest. 14 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,735 Mmm... 15 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,637 Mmm. 16 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,044 Ahh. 17 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,813 Peace. 18 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,382 Good morning, sunshine! 19 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,522 Steve... 20 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,758 And how's our Congested cop today? 21 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:58,792 Hmm? 22 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,027 Why aren't you In school? 23 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,029 Because I'm needed here. 24 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,365 I called principal shimata 25 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,600 And asked him If I could skip a day. 26 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,604 Well, he was thrilled To grant my request! 27 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,108 Remind me To thank him. 28 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,544 Let's play a game. 29 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,579 I brought A bonanza of choices. 30 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:19,947 No, thanks. 31 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,883 I want to lie here And rest. 32 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,418 Monopoly? 33 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:25,453 No. 34 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,287 No. Clue? 35 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,555 No. Parcheesi? 36 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,557 Scrabble? Checkers? Chutes and ladders? 37 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,825 Yahtzee? Risk? Mr. Potato head? 38 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,165 No. No. No. No. No. No! 39 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,466 But, carl-- 40 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,300 Go home! 41 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,501 Just give me-- 42 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,871 Go home, go home, Go home, go home! 43 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,706 I don't have To take this. 44 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,108 I'm going home. 45 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,979 Sorry steve. 46 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,515 Sorry? I got That one right here. 47 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,398 * it's a rare condition * 48 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,032 * this day and age * 49 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,867 * to read any good news * 50 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,303 * on the newspaper page * 51 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,937 * and love and tradition * 52 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,806 * of the grand design * 53 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,341 * some people say * 54 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,511 * is even harder to find * 55 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,547 * well, then, there must be Some magic clue * 56 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:30,418 * inside these gentle walls * 57 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,420 * 'cause all I see * 58 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,255 * is the tower of dreams * 59 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:38,759 * real love burstin' Out of every seam * 60 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:42,463 * as days go by * 61 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,198 * it's the bigger love * 62 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,335 * of the family ** 63 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,247 Girl, I got to make A hair appointment. 64 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:02,683 Should I wear my hair up, Down, to the side? 65 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:06,654 Maybe I'll shave it off And start over. 66 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,188 Go for it. 67 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,991 Max, I've been nominated For homecoming queen. 68 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,125 Why aren't you excited? 69 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:16,196 Three reasons. 1--I wasn't nominated. 70 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:19,400 2--I wasn't nominated. 71 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:24,272 And 3--I wasn't nominated. 72 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,506 You weren't Nominated? 73 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,907 No! 74 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,209 So... 75 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,245 Who are you going To the dance with? 76 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,913 Arnold shephard. 77 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,784 One of his legs Is longer Than the other. 78 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:37,818 So? 79 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:38,886 So when we slow dance 80 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,390 We make small circles To the left! 81 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,194 I'm hoping ted curran Asks me. 82 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,397 Ted better Ask you soon. 83 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:53,200 Otherwise, You'll end up with Some frightening geek! 84 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,704 How's my little Homecoming queen? 85 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,977 I haven't won yet. 86 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,746 Oh, come on. 87 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,315 You can't lose. 88 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,317 With your smile, Your charm, 89 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:13,387 And that Bodacious bod...Ooh. 90 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,590 At least You can count On one vote. 91 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,958 I mean, two. 92 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,897 So, my luscious Little love bucket... 93 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,334 Wanna go to the homecoming Dance with me? 94 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,935 No, thanks. 95 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,671 Alright! Yes! 96 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,172 Ooh! 97 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,842 Why are you so happy? She turned you down. 98 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,811 Ah, yes, but with A simple "No, thanks." 99 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,881 Yesterday she said, "Drop dead, nerd boy." 100 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:52,292 I'm wearing You down, baby. 101 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,298 I'm wearing You dow-w-w-n. 102 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,974 What have you Always wanted But couldn't get? 103 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,743 My own housekeeper. 104 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,778 Besides that. 105 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:11,879 My own bathroom. 106 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,046 Besides that. 107 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,948 More closet space. 108 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,051 You're ruining this. 109 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,252 Piano lessons! 110 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,221 You always wanted Piano lessons! 111 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,424 Carl, we're stretching Every dollar. 112 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,827 Nobody in this family Can afford to learn anything. 113 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,398 Sweetheart, That's the beauty of it. 114 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,865 These lessons Are free. 115 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:32,833 How come? 116 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,735 I nabbed a purse Snatcher today, 117 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,137 And the lady Who owned the purse 118 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,573 Offered me Free piano lessons. 119 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,010 Could you keep The enthusiasm down 120 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,012 Just a little, Harriette? 121 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,717 I'm sorry, honey. You're right. 122 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,820 Besides, we've got This great piano, 123 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:56,023 And I've always wanted To learn how to play it. 124 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,592 Now you can. 125 00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,827 Thanks, sweetheart. 126 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,028 Are you happy? 127 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,930 Yes, you have. 128 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,966 How happy? 129 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,836 You'll never know 130 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,905 Because I have To pick up the kids. 131 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,676 *** 132 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,945 *** *** *** *** 133 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:26,019 Steve...No, steve, You can't come over now. 134 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,821 I'm studying. 135 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:32,259 No, I don't want to hear The rap song you wrote. 136 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,127 Steve-- 137 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,829 Steve? 138 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:36,864 Hello? 139 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,108 [tune to Around the way girl] 140 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,980 *** *** *** 141 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,790 * I'm here to deliver A rappin' telegram * 142 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,025 * to miss laura winslow, My honey lamb * 143 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,160 * she's been asked to the dance By all the hunks in town * 144 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,930 * she just turns up her nose And turns them down * 145 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,865 * she could go with steve, It would really be hot * 146 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,033 * 'cause he would Jump for joy * 147 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,635 * and get his shorts In a knot * 148 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:16,937 * so he's askin' again, Bendin' on one knee * 149 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:20,774 * oh, laura, my pet, Won't you please go with me? ** 150 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,747 * I told you no, So I'll be more graphic * 151 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,017 * go out that door and Go play in some traffic ** 152 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,552 [cuts music off] 153 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,259 I've asked you To the dance 26 times. 154 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,762 You've shot me down 26 times. 155 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,764 I'm asking you One final time 156 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,734 Because I refuse To beg! 157 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,939 Will you go To the dance with me? 158 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,040 No. 159 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,275 Please, laura! 160 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,710 Oh, please. Please! 161 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,545 Steve. 162 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,146 No, laura! 163 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,714 If you Don't leave, 164 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,816 I'll drag you Into the backyard 165 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,652 And turn the Garden hose on you. 166 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,854 You know What that's like. 167 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,526 That won't Be necessary. 168 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:16,096 After all, I have my dignity. 169 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,833 Steve, saying no Because I don't Want to go with you 170 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,035 Is just one Of the reasons. 171 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,470 Oh? 172 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,906 I'm hoping Ted curran asks me. 173 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,207 Ted curran? 174 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:30,077 You mean the good looking, Popular jock with straight a's? 175 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:30,944 Yeah. 176 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,248 What do you see In that loser? 177 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:38,351 I like him, A lot. 178 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,753 What are you gonna do 179 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,089 If this curran character Doesn't ask you? 180 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,123 Then I won't go. 181 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,958 Laura, you have to. 182 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,960 You were nominated For homecoming queen. 183 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,963 If I can't go to The dance with ted 184 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:50,998 I won't go at all. 185 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:55,102 I refuse to settle For second best. 186 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,574 I understand. 187 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:04,111 That's the way I feel about you. 188 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,087 Okay men. Hit the showers. 189 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,730 Curran, a moment of Your time, please. 190 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,231 What is it, urkel? 191 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:25,799 This won't Take long. 192 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,835 I just want to know Who you're taking 193 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,002 To the Homecoming dance. 194 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,071 I haven't Asked anyone yet. 195 00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:34,374 How do you feel About laura winslow? 196 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,009 How do I feel? 197 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,411 She's the prettiest Girl in this school. 198 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,647 I'd love to take her, 199 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,750 But I heard she turned Everyone down. 200 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,719 If you ask her, She won't turn you down. 201 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,155 Really? How do you know? 202 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,157 I just know, okay? 203 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,460 I'm sorry. 204 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,764 I occasionally suffer From irregularity. 205 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,466 This is great. 206 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,669 Great. I'll ask her today. 207 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,371 Excellent. 208 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,140 Urkel, why are You doing this? 209 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,710 Everybody knows You're crazy about laura. 210 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779 Ironic, isn't it? 211 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,481 But laura wants To go with you, 212 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:17,751 And all I care about Is her happiness. 213 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:20,688 Wow! You're, like, Some kind of... 214 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,323 Nerd saint. 215 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,971 Sorry I can't stay For your piano lesson, 216 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,973 But the fuzz balls Couldn't do 217 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,043 Without Master blaster winslow. 218 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,915 [doorbell rings] 219 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,855 Good evening. Is harriette winslow here? 220 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,298 Who wants to know? 221 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,566 Oscar marmelzat. 222 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:10,337 I'm here to give harriette A piano lesson. 223 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,006 Oh, no, you're not. 224 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,242 A little old lady Is supposed to do that. 225 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,077 What have you done With her? 226 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,013 I'll be taking over My mother's lessons. 227 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,784 She caught a cold From some overweight cop. 228 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,826 I see. 229 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,728 Well, I'm carl winslow. 230 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,629 This is your student, 231 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,899 My wife harriette. 232 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,200 Hello, Mr. Marmelzat. 233 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,368 Call me oscar. 234 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,502 Oscar. 235 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:43,670 Let's begin. 236 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,939 Certainly. Ahem. 237 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,479 Let me get this For you. 238 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,181 Thank you. 239 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,949 Well, I'm off. 240 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:01,989 I said 241 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,256 I'm off. 242 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,291 Okay, bye, carl. 243 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,692 Goodbye. 244 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,895 Place your hands On the keyboard. 245 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,997 I'll put my hands On yours 246 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,199 To help you find The notes. 247 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,367 This is middle c. 248 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,769 Am I crowding you? 249 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:18,038 Oh, no. Not at all. 250 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,343 What is that Lovely fragrance? 251 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,711 Arpege, chanel? 252 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,714 Barbecued chicken... 253 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,317 With a splash Of tub 'n' tile cleaner. 254 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,584 Heh heh heh. 255 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,987 You have a wonderful Sense of humor. 256 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,189 That's rare In a beautiful woman. 257 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,191 Thank you. 258 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,426 Ahem. 259 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,397 I'm not going bowling. 260 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,534 You're not? How come? 261 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,536 I'm sick. 262 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,304 [cough cough] 263 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,640 Sneeze, sneeze. 264 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,075 I think I'm having a relapse 265 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:58,245 Of that overweight Cop virus. 266 00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,646 That's too bad. 267 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,948 Oh, isn't it, though? 268 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,216 Continue your piano lesson. 269 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,053 I'll just sit Right here... 270 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,022 And listen Like a hawk. 271 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,164 Waldo? What's up? 272 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,500 Were you dancing With vicki And mary ann? 273 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,701 Yeah. 274 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,337 Well, which one Is your date? 275 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,172 They both are. 276 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,308 Why did you bring Two girls here? 277 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,212 I really like vicki, But mary ann has a car. 278 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,148 Waldo, that's A rotten thing to do. 279 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,749 Yeah, and it backfired. 280 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,218 Mary ann's car Is a two-seater, 281 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,853 So I had To take the bus. 282 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,863 Laura, why, you look 283 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:27,300 Heartbreakingly Beautiful tonight. 284 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,003 So, are you having A good time with ted? 285 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,973 This is the best night Of my entire life. 286 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,209 This is like A dream come true. 287 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,581 I'm sorry, steve. 288 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,750 Hey, it's okay. 289 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,318 I'm happy for you 290 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,886 In a heartsick, Gut-wrenching, 291 00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:50,057 Near suicidal Sort of way. 292 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,465 Laura, would You like to dance? 293 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,200 Sure. 294 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,527 Laura? 295 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,595 Yeah? 296 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,497 I'm having A great time. 297 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,464 Me, too. 298 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,034 And to think I almost Didn't ask you. 299 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,535 I was hoping You would. 300 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:40,340 I had cold feet Until steve clued me in. 301 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,508 Steve? 302 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:46,313 He said if I asked you, You'd probably say yes. 303 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,016 But that makes No sense. 304 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,051 Steve is obsessed With me. 305 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:54,321 He freaks out When I even mention Another guy. 306 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,823 He said going To the dance with me 307 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,091 Would make you happy, 308 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,560 And that's all He really cares about. 309 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,732 Steve said that? 310 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,766 Steve urkel? 311 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,435 Yeah. 312 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,978 I don't believe it. 313 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:23,550 Only one lesson and already I Can play itsy bitsy spider. 314 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,653 Well, you're exceptional. 315 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,388 Thank you. 316 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:32,059 You know that I taught Piano for over-- Yeah, yeah, yeah... 317 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,994 Goodnight. 318 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,964 Goodnight, oscar. Thanks again. 319 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,101 You're welcome. If you ever need-- 320 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,505 How 'bout a snack? 321 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,874 Carl winslow, Have you lost Your mind? 322 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,909 Harriette, One sandwich won't hurt. 323 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,311 I'm not talking About that. 324 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,614 I'm talking about Your rude, childish Behavior. 325 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,017 Oh! Oh, oh. 326 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,921 You mean with oscar "Busy fingers" Marmelzat? 327 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,490 "Busy fingers"? 328 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,492 Harriette, He was all over you, 329 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,527 Groping, pawing, And touching. 330 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,561 He was not. 331 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,397 Ho ho ho. 332 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,167 "Let me place My hands on yours 333 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:17,337 "To help you find The proper keys. 334 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,871 "What's that lovely Fragrance 335 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,908 That you're wearing?" 336 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,510 Give me a break. 337 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,479 Carl, every time 338 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,914 Somebody looks At me cross-eyed, 339 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,048 You go bananas. 340 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:31,551 You've got to stop Being so jealous. 341 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,387 That guy was making Moves on my wife. 342 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,223 Harriette, he was Trying to get you 343 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,858 Between the sheet music! 344 00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,195 With you sitting here Watching? 345 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,564 Well, those musicians Are kinky. 346 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,669 I don't know, Harriette. 347 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,104 I... 348 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,073 You're a beautiful, Vibrant, 349 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,143 Terrific woman, 350 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,811 And, frankly, I'm scared. 351 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,913 Scared of what? 352 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,815 Well, that some guy 353 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,519 Who's younger And thinner 354 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:07,687 And more handsome 355 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:11,158 Is going to come along And steal you away. 356 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:15,562 Carl, that will Never happen. 357 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,497 It won't? 358 00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,932 It's my choice Who I want to be with, 359 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,734 And I choose you. 360 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,738 Thanks, honey. 361 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,984 Hello. 362 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,352 [feedback] 363 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,121 Is this thing on? 364 00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,823 Good! 365 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:48,728 Students, tonight our football Team was magnificent. 366 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:54,201 They ran, they passed, There was no stopping them. 367 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,937 But then the other Team showed up. 368 00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,006 You know the rest. 369 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,274 Well, now. 370 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:06,145 It's time to announce Our homecoming queen. 371 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,687 Would the three nominees Haul their butts up here? 372 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,525 Melanie pearson... 373 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,895 Laura winslow... 374 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,836 And delcina tutweiler! 375 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,773 This year, 376 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,510 The vanderbilt Homecoming queen is... 377 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,681 Laura winslow! 378 00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,865 Congratulations, Laura. 379 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,835 Keep it short. 380 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,837 Thank you, everybody. 381 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:08,375 Okay! That Was beautiful. 382 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,844 But now it's time For the queen's dance. 383 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:16,516 Who's the lucky Young man, laura? 384 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,129 This dance Goes to the one guy 385 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,565 Who's always treated me Like a queen. 386 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,568 Steve urkel. 387 00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,775 [music to when a man Loves a woman] 388 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:59,158 * when a man Loves a woman * 389 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:03,195 * can't keep his mind On nothin' else * 390 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,831 * he'd trade the world * 391 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,601 * for the good thing He's found * 392 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,937 * if she is bad * 393 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,073 * he can't see it * 394 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,710 * she can do no wrong * 395 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,146 * turn his back On his best friend * 396 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:23,383 * if he put her down * 397 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:29,088 * when a man Loves a woman * 398 00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:32,525 * he can do her no wrong * 399 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:37,930 * he could never love Some other girl * 400 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:43,770 * yes, when a man Loves a woman * 401 00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:48,441 * I know exactly How he feels... ** 26191

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