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1
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:06,307
LAURA, MY LITTLE
FRENCH DIP.
2
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,016
UH, STEVE,
YOU'RE LATE FOR WORK.
3
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:21,089
I HAD TO PUT
THE FINISHING TOUCHES
ON MY LATEST INVENTION.
4
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,523
WHAT DID YOU INVENT?
5
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,526
I'D LIKE TO
IMPROVE MY EFFICIENCY
AS A WAITER,
6
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,661
SO I TOOK
MY SKATEBOARD, AND I--
7
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:31,665
WELL, YOU'LL SEE.
IT'S DEMONSTRATION TIME.
8
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,704
[MOTOR STARTS]
9
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,943
HEY, RUBY.
TRY OUR REUBEN.
10
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,378
WOW!
11
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,413
WOW!
12
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,296
DID I DO THAT?
13
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,209
* IT'S A RARE CONDITION *
14
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,844
* IN THIS DAY AND AGE *
15
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,414
* TO READ ANY GOOD NEWS
ON THE NEWSPAPER PAGE *
16
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,817
* AND LOVE AND TRADITION
OF THE GRAND DESIGN *
17
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:28,556
* SOME PEOPLE SAY
IS EVEN HARDER TO FIND *
18
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,559
* WELL, THEN, THERE MUST BE
SOME MAGIC CLUE *
19
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,829
* INSIDE THESE
GENTLE WALLS *
20
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:39,533
* 'CAUSE ALL I SEE
IS A TOWER OF DREAMS *
21
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,504
* REAL LOVE BURSTIN'
OUT OF EVERY SEAM *
22
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,441
* AS DAYS GO BY *
23
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:51,879
* IT'S THE BIGGER LOVE
OF THE FAMILY **
24
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,195
OKAY, SON.
25
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,197
HAND ME THOSE
WIRE CUTTERS.
26
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,199
OKAY, BUT WHAT'S
THE BIG RUSH?
27
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,000
WE WANT TO FINISH
INSTALLING THIS DISH
28
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,069
IN TIME FOR TONIGHT'S
WORLD BIKINI CONTEST.
AHH?
29
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,572
AHH!
AHH!
30
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,675
I LOVE YOU, DAD.
31
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,248
TA-DA!
32
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,784
CAUGHT YOU, SWEETUMS!
33
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,259
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
34
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,428
WELL,
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
35
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,562
OUT.
36
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,163
AHA!
37
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,165
YOU...ME...
38
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,368
LIPS...SMOOCH.
39
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,039
YOU...ME...
40
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,242
FIST...HURT.
41
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,043
OH, YOU KIDDER.
42
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,878
SO WHAT WERE YOU
DOING UP THERE,
43
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,648
SHAVING THE OLD PITS?
44
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:06,019
I WAS NOT
SHAVING MY PITS.
45
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,655
HEY, THAT'S FINE BY ME.
46
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,724
I KIND OF GO FOR
THE BIKER CHICK LOOK.
47
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,562
UGH!
48
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,568
OH, WHAT DID I SAY?
49
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,869
WOMEN.
50
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,571
CAREFUL WITH THOSE WIRES.
51
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,539
YOU DON'T WANT
TO GET FRIED.
52
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,676
SON, RELAX.
53
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,679
I AM NO NEOPHYTE WHEN
IT COMES TO ELECTRONICS.
54
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:35,583
YOU SEE,
THESE WIRES WILL
CONNECT TO THIS CORD,
55
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:39,687
AND THIS CORD
IS NOT PLUGGED IN.
56
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,825
SLOPPY, SLOPPY, SLOPPY.
57
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,535
THEY MUST HAVE GOTTEN
A NEW BUG ZAPPER.
58
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,605
SOUNDS LIKE THEY ZAPPED
A BIG JUICY ONE.
59
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,589
STEVE.
STEVE.
60
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,699
MOM, I THINK I'M TOO YOUNG
TO DO THE LAUNDRY.
61
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,403
RACHEL, WHERE
DID YOU GET THAT?
62
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,838
HEY, IT'S NOT MINE.
63
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,341
THEN, WHOSE IS IT?
64
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,548
GRANDMA?
HMM?
65
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,782
YOU BROUGHT THIS?
66
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,917
OF COURSE, NOT.
67
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,986
IT WAS A GIFT.
68
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,493
HEY, WALDO.
69
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,728
HOW'S CARL COMING
WITH THE NEW
SATELLITE DISH?
70
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:55,963
ALMOST DONE.
71
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,733
HE WANTS ME TO SHOUT UP
TO HIM HOW THE PICTURE LOOKS.
72
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,002
MR. WINSLOW!
73
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,904
[CARL]
YEAH!
74
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:08,709
THE PICTURE
LOOKS REAL DARK!
75
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,711
WALDO, HONEY,
76
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:13,213
THE TV'S NOT ON.
77
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,683
AW, SHOOT! THEN I CAME
IN HERE FOR NOTHING.
78
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,519
WALDO, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
79
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,954
WE'LL TURN ON
THE TV FOR YOU.
80
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,524
OH, COOL.
81
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,993
[CHANNELS CHANGE]
82
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,094
UH-OH.
83
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:31,098
THE CHANNEL
KEEPS CHANGING!
84
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,867
WALDO, I'M DOING THAT.
85
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,604
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
86
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,806
WORK WITH ME, PEOPLE.
87
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,043
THAT'S A STUPID BOY.
88
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,314
[TV ANNOUNCER]
CHAMBERS TAKING--
89
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,516
LOOK. WE LUCKED OUT.
90
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,117
AMERICAN GLADIATORS
IS ON.
91
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,452
20 SECONDS TO GO.
92
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,687
SPENCER'S ADOPTED
A DEFENSIVE POSITION.
93
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,055
WHAT'S
AMERICAN GLADIATORS?
94
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,857
IT'S A MACHO GAME SHOW.
95
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,859
TWO CONTESTANTS
BATTLE GLADIATORS.
96
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,928
WHOEVER GETS
THE MOST POINTS, WINS.
97
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,963
YEAH, I LOVE THIS SHOW.
98
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,800
IT'S NOTHING
BUT HALF-NAKED MEN
FLAUNTING THEIR MUSCLES.
99
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,001
EXACTLY.
100
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,471
I LOVE THIS SHOW.
101
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,673
[WALDO]
SEE THAT
GLADIATOR THERE?
102
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,207
SABRE?
103
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,477
SHE KNOWS
THEIR NAMES.
104
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,679
SABRE'S MY COUSIN.
105
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,681
YOU GOT A COUSIN
ON TELEVISION?
106
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:24,418
HE'S NOT THE ONLY
SUCCESSFUL FALDO.
107
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,053
I HAVE AN UNCLE
AT HARVARD.
108
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,455
HE TEACHES?
109
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,723
NOPE. HIS HEAD'S
IN A GLASS JAR.
110
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,531
HOW'S IT GOING,
ROUGH RIDERS IN THE SKY?
111
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,333
STEVE, BE CAREFUL. THIS
ISN'T A DANCE FLOOR,
112
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,170
AND DIDN'T I TELL YOU
TO STAY AWAY?
113
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,005
OH, NOW,
COME ON, CARL.
114
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,642
THAT LITTLE ELECTROCUTION
THING SHOULD BE
A DIM MEMORY BY NOW.
115
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,052
HEY...
116
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,655
THAT CLEARED MY SINUSES.
117
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,192
STEVE, WE'RE
ALMOST DONE UP HERE.
118
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,560
DON'T MESS THINGS UP.
119
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:10,197
WELL, LOOK, I'LL JUST
HAVE A LITTLE LOOK-SEE.
120
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,834
LET'S SEE HERE.
121
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:14,968
MM-HMM.
122
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,504
MM-HMM.
123
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,271
MM-HMM. UH-OH!
124
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,707
WHAT UH-OH?
125
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,543
WELL, YOU USED WOOD SCREWS
INSTEAD OF MASONRY SCREWS.
126
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,778
SLOPPY, SLOPPY, SLOPPY.
127
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,780
WOOD SCREWS
ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
128
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,149
SURE. IF THE WIND
NEVER BLOWS--
129
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:32,152
ONE GOOD GUST,
AND THIS BABY'S
A LAWN SCULPTURE.
130
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,455
STEVE,
GET OFF THIS ROOF.
131
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,590
CARL,
I THINK YOU'RE--
132
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,258
GET OFF THIS ROOF.
133
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,292
GET OFF THIS ROOF!
134
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,695
GET OFF THIS ROOF!
135
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,196
I'M NOT TAKING THIS.
136
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,198
I'M GETTING OFF
THIS ROOF.
137
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,135
HEY!
WHOA! WHOA!
138
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,537
WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!
139
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,104
OH, NO!
OH, NO!
140
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,206
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
141
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,043
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
142
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,345
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
143
00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,412
NO!
144
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480
OH, WHEW!
145
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,615
OH, THAT WAS CLOSE.
146
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,184
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
147
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,353
AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
148
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,922
[THUD]
149
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,932
WOOD SCREWS
ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
150
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,006
TAKE YOUR TIME.
151
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:26,840
OW!
152
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,209
RACHEL, WATCH
THE KNEE.
153
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,544
OOH! AAH!
154
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,445
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE ALRIGHT?
155
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,647
I'M FINE.
156
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,416
FORTUNATELY,
WE LANDED ON STEVE.
157
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,586
SLOWLY,
SLOWLY.
158
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,121
COME ON, WALDO.
LET'S GET SOME ICE.
159
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,291
GOOD IDEA. BECAUSE MY
SODA POP'S TOO WARM.
160
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,894
OHH.
161
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:54,034
I'M FINE, EVERYONE.
162
00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:00,574
REALLY, I CAN
MAKE IT ON MY OWN.
163
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,010
STEVE, ARE YOU OKAY?
164
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,613
OH, I'M PEACHY-KEEN.
165
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,282
I ONLY FELL
20 FEET
166
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,718
AND HAD ALL
THE MALE MEMBERS
167
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,153
OF YOUR FAMILY
LAND ON ME.
168
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:17,290
I'D APPRECIATE
AN APOLOGY.
169
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,759
WHAT?
170
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:22,896
YOU WANT ME
TO APOLOGIZE TOYOU?
171
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,099
GET DOWN!
172
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,567
ALRIGHT!
173
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,203
I CAME OVER TO LEND
A HELPING HAND,
174
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,404
BUT YOU WERE RUDE,
175
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,341
IMPATIENT,
AND NOT A NICE HOST.
176
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,045
YOU RUINED
OUR SATELLITE DISH,
177
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,849
AND YOU ALMOST
KILLED ME AND MY SON.
178
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:46,854
AND YOU THINK
THAT JUSTIFIES
COARSE BEHAVIOR?
179
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,359
STEVE,
180
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,593
GO HOME.
181
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,228
CARL, I'M GOING
TO GIVE YOU--
182
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,231
GO HOME! GO HOME!
GO HOME!
183
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,233
I DON'T HAVE
TO TAKE THIS.
184
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,870
I'M GOING HOME.
185
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:09,009
AND DON'T YOU
EVER COME BACK!
186
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,680
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
187
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,181
OH, YOU HEARD ME.
188
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:17,117
DON'T EVER COME BACK.
189
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,320
I WILL NOT BE BULLIED.
190
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,889
I LOVE THIS LADY,
191
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,592
AND I'LL COME OVER HERE
ANYTIME I WANT TO,
192
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,595
AND YOU...CAN'T...
STOP...ME.
193
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,798
I'M GOING TO KILL HIM.
194
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,599
COME ON, BUSTER!
195
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,801
COME ON!
196
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,303
COME ON, MISTER!
YOU COME AND GET IT!
197
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,806
COME TASTE
MY FIST OF FIRE!
198
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,240
LET ME GO!
NO!
199
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,210
I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!
200
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,147
WHAT'S GOING ON?
201
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,181
COME ON!
202
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,282
LET ME GO!
203
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,317
STOP IT!
204
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,584
STOP IT!
205
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,153
STOP THIS!
206
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,325
NOW, THIS IS
NO WAY TO BEHAVE.
207
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,393
YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS,
208
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,395
BUDDIES, NEIGHBORS.
209
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:03,997
THIS IS
A CIVILIZED SOCIETY,
210
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:08,135
AND WE SHOULD HANDLE OUR
DIFFERENCES IN A CIVILIZED WAY.
211
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,971
FORTUNATELY, I HAVE A COUSIN
THAT CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
212
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,207
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
213
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,250
TONIGHT ON
AMERICAN GLADIATORS...
214
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,419
A SPECIAL GRUDGE MATCH
BETWEEN FEUDING NEIGHBORS.
215
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,587
THAT'S RIGHT, MIKE.
216
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,989
TONIGHT'S MATCH-UP
217
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:33,827
IS BETWEEN CARL
"BONECRUSHER" WINSLOW...
218
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,464
AND STEVE
"HURRICANE" URKEL.
219
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,699
GRRR!
220
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,168
GRRR!
221
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,936
IT LOOKS LIKE
QUITE A MATCH-UP,
222
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:45,372
SO STAY TUNED, AMERICA.
223
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,315
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
224
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,885
WELCOME BACK. LET'S TALK
TO OUR FEUDING NEIGHBORS.
225
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:01,922
BESIDES OUR CASH PRIZE,
YOU HAVE A SIDE-BET GOING.
226
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,290
THAT'S RIGHT, MIKE.
227
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,559
IF I WIN,
AND I MOST CERTAINLY WILL,
228
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,595
HE HAS TO STAY AWAY
FROM MY HOUSE
229
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,598
FOR THE REST
OF HIS LIFE.
230
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,500
HURRICANE, WHAT
HAPPENS IF YOU WIN?
231
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,770
OH, THERE'S
NO IF, MR. CSONKA.
232
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,205
WHEN I WIN,
233
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,842
THIS RUDE COP
HAS TO GIVE ME
A HEARTFELT APOLOGY.
234
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,812
OH. SAY IT,
DON'T SPRAY IT.
235
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,781
OKAY, GENTLEMEN,
GO GET READY FOR
THE FIRST EVENT.
236
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,282
GOOD LUCK.
237
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,517
GRRR!
GRRR!
238
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,421
LET'S SEE
HOW OUR CONTESTANTS
MATCH UP...
239
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,696
THIS IS A CLASSIC
DAVID AND GOLIATH
MATCH-UP.
240
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,166
IT'S STRENGTH
VERSUS AGILITY.
241
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,937
IN THE JOUST,
THE CONTENDER
HAS 30 SECONDS
242
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,639
TO KNOCK THE GLADIATOR
FROM HIS PLATFORM.
243
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,707
IF HE DOES,
HE GETS 10 POINTS.
244
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,077
FIRST UP,
STEVE "HURRICANE" URKEL,
245
00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,547
BUT HE DRAWS
THE AWESOME TURBO.
246
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,115
HUH?
247
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:05,986
AAH!
248
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,830
STEVE, WHERE ARE
YOUR GLASSES?
249
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,298
I DON'T NEED THEM.
250
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,567
I GOT CONTACTS.
251
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,569
I DON'T CARE
WHO YOU KNOW.
252
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,872
WHERE ARE
YOUR GLASSES?
253
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,776
GET HIM, HONEY!
254
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,411
KNOCK HIM SILLY!
255
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,446
KNOCK HIS LIGHTS OUT!
256
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,615
EN GARDE!
257
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,649
[WHISTLE]
258
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,218
[GRUNTING]
259
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,422
WAAH!
260
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,425
WOW.
261
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,730
HURRICANE'S DOING
A PRETTY GOOD JOB.
262
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,699
OOH, SPOKE TOO SOON.
263
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:53,934
[WHISTLE]
264
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,606
THAT'S TURBO'S 11th
VICTORY THIS SEASON.
265
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,442
STEVE.
266
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,511
HUH? HUH?
267
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,579
OH.
268
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,881
OH, LAURA....
269
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,682
AND LAURA...
270
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,118
AND LAURA?
271
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,687
STEVE, YOU'VE
GOT TO STOP THIS.
272
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,356
PLEASE QUIT
RIGHT NOW.
273
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,358
BUT WHY?
274
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:21,494
I DON'T WANT TO SEE
YOU GET HURT, OKAY?
275
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,930
YOU DO LOVE ME.
276
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,364
NOW I'LL NEVER QUIT.
277
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:28,201
LORD, GIVE ME
THE STRENGTH TO WIN
FOR MY WOMAN.
278
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,340
OKAY, MIKE,
279
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,542
LET'S SEE HOW ONE
OF CHICAGO'S FINEST
280
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,477
FARES AGAINST TURBO.
281
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,745
[WHISTLE]
282
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,380
[GRUNTING]
283
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,618
OW! OW!
284
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:46,686
UNH!
285
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,521
LOOK OUT, TURBO
TOOK A HARD ONE.
286
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,191
OH, HE'S IN TROUBLE.
287
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,525
[WHISTLE]
288
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,793
BONECRUSHER!
289
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,262
WOW!
290
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,065
BONECRUSHER TAKING
AN EARLY LEAD
IN THE COMPETITION.
291
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,334
YOU HIT
MY HUSBAND AGAIN,
292
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,803
AND YOU'LL HAVE
TO ANSWER TO ME.
293
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,705
OOH, TURBO'S DOWN AGAIN.
294
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:06,940
YEAH, SPREAD THE WORD--
295
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,143
DON'T MESS
WITH MRS. BONECRUSHER.
296
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,950
OKAY, STEVE.
YOU'RE DOWN 10 POINTS.
297
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:20,720
I MAY BE DOWN,
BUT I'M FAR
FROM OUT, MY MAN.
298
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,722
IT'S TIME FOR THE WALL.
299
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,391
YOU'VE GOT
TO GET TO THE TOP
300
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,026
BEFORE THE GLADIATOR
PULLS YOU OFF.
301
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,460
THINK YOU CAN DO IT?
302
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,962
PIECE OF CAKE.
303
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:33,466
TOES ON THE LINE!
304
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,768
COMPETITORS, READY...
305
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:36,803
[WHISTLE]
306
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,938
[CROWD CHEERS]
307
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:42,009
WHOA, LISTEN
TO THAT CROWD.
308
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,015
GLADIATORS, READY...
309
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,216
[WHISTLE]
310
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,750
URKEL'S LOOKING GOOD.
311
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,919
THIS KID'S GOT
SOME REAL MOVES.
312
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,222
HE TOLD ME HE'S SPENT
MOST OF HIS LIFE
313
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,025
DODGING REALLY,
REALLY BIG GUYS.
314
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,031
[REFEREE]
HE'S OFF!
315
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,466
CALLING ALL UNITS--
OFFICER DOWN.
316
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,074
AAH! OW!
317
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,242
LOOK, LOOK!
318
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,576
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!
319
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:17,610
WHERE?
320
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,678
WHOA!
321
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:22,149
SABRE WAS
ON THE WRONG END
OF THAT SHOE.
322
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,916
THERE'S NOTHING
BETWEEN HURRICANE
323
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,186
AND THE TOP
OF THE WALL, LARRY.
324
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:30,857
[REFEREE]
HE'S OVER!
325
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,425
[WHISTLE]
326
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:37,030
AND THAT TIES
THE SCORE 10-10.
327
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,107
LARRY, WHAT
THE HECK IS THAT?
328
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:50,077
LET'S HOPE IT'S A,
UH, VICTORY DANCE.
329
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,347
OUR ELIMINATOR
OBSTACLE COURSE
IS THE FINAL EVENT.
330
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,883
THE CONTENDER
GOES UP A TREADMILL,
331
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,251
ACROSS A HAND BIKE,
332
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,686
OVER A SPINNING LOG,
333
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:00,787
UP A CARGO NET,
334
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,122
DOWN A ZIP LINE,
335
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,023
DOWN THIS FINAL
STRAIGHTAWAY,
336
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,158
THROUGH THE GAUNTLET,
337
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,194
AND ACROSS
THE FINISH LINE.
338
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,761
THIS IS THE FINAL EVENT.
339
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,130
THE SCORE IS TIED.
340
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:14,334
WHOEVER WINS
THE ELIMINATOR,
WINS THE MATCH.
341
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,039
[WHISTLE]
342
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,210
LOOK OUT.
343
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,578
BONECRUSHER'S
HAVING TROUBLE
WITH THE TREADMILL.
344
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:26,646
IT'S TOUGH.
345
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:30,150
IT ISN'T
THE ESCALATOR
AT THE MALL.
346
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,693
HEY, BONECRUSHER'S
COMING BACK.
347
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,196
HEY, WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO DOWNGRADE
HURRICANE URKEL
348
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,198
TO A TROPICAL
DEPRESSION.
349
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,966
I LIKE
THAT WEATHER ANALOGY.
350
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,735
AH, THANKS, MIKE.
351
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:03,783
WHOA!
352
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,518
AAH...AAH...
353
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,886
AAH...AAH...
354
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,457
URKEL WILL HAVE
TO WAIT FIVE SECONDS
BEFORE CONTINUING ON.
355
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:14,161
MAYBE THE REST
WILL HELP.
356
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:23,303
MAN, OH, MAN.
BONECRUSHER'S
CAUGHT IN THE NET.
357
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,139
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE WE SEEN
THAT HAPPEN BEFORE?
358
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,907
OH, 15.
359
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,676
IT WAS A RHETORICAL
QUESTION, LARRY.
360
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:30,710
OH.
361
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,080
UH-OH, HURRICANE
IS CATCHING UP!
362
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,448
HE'S ONE TOUGH COOKIE.
363
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,484
I DON'T KNOW WHY
HE'S CALLED A NERD.
364
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,587
YOU DIDN'T SEE
HIS STREET CLOTHES.
365
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,595
LOOK AT THIS!
WE'VE GOT A RACE!
366
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:54,133
AAH!
WHOA!
367
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,874
SABRE AND TURBO
ACTIVATING THE GAUNTLET,
368
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:05,845
AND HERE THEY COME DOWN
THE FINAL STRAIGHTAWAY.
369
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,521
TWO TIRED ATHLETES,
370
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,657
BUT, LARRY, IT LOOKS LIKE
WE'VE GOT A RACE HERE!
371
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,779
IT LOOKS
LIKE BONECRUSHER!
372
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,081
NO, IT'S HURRICANE.
373
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:45,051
IT'S A PHOTO FINISH!
374
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,119
LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT THE FREEZE FRAME
375
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,522
OF THAT EXCITING
CONCLUSION.
376
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,892
IT'S OFFICIAL.
IT'S A TIE.
377
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,496
THE FIRST TIE
WE'VE HAD ON
AMERICAN GLADIATORS.
378
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,331
GENTLEMEN, GREAT NEWS.
379
00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,799
IT WAS A TIE.
380
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,833
WHAT?
WHAT?
381
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,503
TAKE A FIVE-MINUTE BREAK
AND DO IT OVER.
382
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,938
NO!
NO, NO, NO, NO!
383
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,408
NO! NO,
LOOK, STEVE.
384
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,711
WANT TO
EXCUSE US HERE?
385
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,314
STEVE,
386
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,048
LOOK, YOU WIN.
387
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,784
UH-UH.
388
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,818
YOU WIN.
389
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,788
I'LL NEVER COME OVER
TO YOUR HOUSE AGAIN.
390
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,390
I DON'T WANT THAT.
391
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,725
LISTEN, CARL,
I DON'T BLAME YOU
392
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,461
FOR BEING UPSET ABOUT
THAT ELECTROCUTION THING.
393
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,463
I MEAN, THE SUDDEN
CATASTROPHIC LOSS
394
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,465
OF SEVEN OR EIGHT MILLION
BRAIN CELLS
395
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,967
WOULD MAKE ANYONE
BLOW A FUSE.
396
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,837
IT PROBABLY
SMARTED A LITTLE
397
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,205
WHEN I LANDED
ON YOU.
398
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,640
A LITTLE?
399
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,476
IT WAS LIKE
BEING BODY-SLAMMED
BY A STEINWAY.
400
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,348
BUT...WHAT HURT ME
EVEN MORE,
401
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,182
BIG GUY, WAS...
402
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,153
THE THOUGHT OF BEING
BANISHED FROM YOUR HOME.
403
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:58,958
THAT'S A PAIN
TOO HORRIBLE TO BEAR.
404
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,594
REALLY?
405
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:05,998
I KNOW I'M A PEST, CARL...
406
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:09,001
BUT I LOVE YOU, BIG GUY.
407
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,772
AND I...
408
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,309
AND I...
409
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,779
ADMIRE
YOUR PERSISTENCE.
410
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,583
THAT'S
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
26334
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