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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,900
You know, the problem is...
2
00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:07,200
Everyone's just so self-absorbed now.
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,300
Just narcissistic.
4
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,400
And just...
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,368
They love the sound of their own voice.
6
00:00:14,368 --> 00:00:17,568
I can see that irony is a term you're not quite familiar with.
7
00:00:17,568 --> 00:00:19,268
No, stop it.
8
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:22,668
I went on a date the other day with this guy.
9
00:00:22,668 --> 00:00:24,368
And he just...
10
00:00:24,368 --> 00:00:25,468
He just...
11
00:00:25,468 --> 00:00:27,868
I couldn't get a word in.
12
00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:30,668
He just wouldn't shut up.
13
00:00:30,668 --> 00:00:34,768
It's a shame that you don't have somebody to sit there and listen to you
14
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:41,768
in all of your ramblings and stories through all kinds of states of sobriety and inebriation.
15
00:00:41,768 --> 00:00:44,168
You're being sarcastic again.
16
00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:45,268
Me?
17
00:00:45,268 --> 00:00:47,568
Absurd.
18
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:53,834
My love life is a mess.
19
00:00:54,594 --> 00:00:56,594
My job sucks.
20
00:00:57,074 --> 00:00:59,074
My life's a disaster.
21
00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,994
Tell me your life's a disaster too.
22
00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:04,954
I'll feel better.
23
00:01:06,594 --> 00:01:09,394
I'm glad that my misery brings you so much happiness.
24
00:01:09,394 --> 00:01:11,394
You know what I mean.
25
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,114
No, my life is not a disaster.
26
00:01:16,474 --> 00:01:19,954
It is a disaster adjacent.
27
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:23,954
It's like if a tornado hits the trailer next year's.
28
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,554
You're so good to me, Ryan.
29
00:01:29,954 --> 00:01:30,954
I know.
30
00:01:30,954 --> 00:01:33,954
I assume you'll be sleeping here on the couch tonight.
31
00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:36,954
Kiss me, Ryan.
32
00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:20,410
So I met a guy online. Seems like he's not a complete moron.
33
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:23,410
Wow, that's quite the endorsement. When's the wedding?
34
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:32,410
Stop! We've only been on one date, but he's charming, and he's funny, and he's sweet.
35
00:02:32,410 --> 00:02:37,410
Well, does he have a job? He's gotta have a job if this is gonna be more than just a hookup.
36
00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:43,410
Yeah, that's where it gets a little awkward. He actually works for the same company that Ryan does.
37
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,410
So? I thought you guys were just platonic.
38
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:50,410
Well, we are, but it just seems a little close to home, maybe.
39
00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:53,410
Melissa! My Melissa!
40
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:56,410
Whoa, you're Melissa? You said you were a platonic.
41
00:02:56,410 --> 00:03:00,410
Yeah, and you said you're only interested in girls that send you nude photos.
42
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:03,410
Oh my god, did she send you nude photos?
43
00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:10,410
No! We just hit it off on a lunch date. Little bit of an overreaction, don't you think?
44
00:03:10,410 --> 00:03:14,410
I just wanna fuck her. I'm not gonna propose.
45
00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:15,410
What?
46
00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:21,410
Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah, have fun.
47
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,410
Ryan!
48
00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:25,410
Ryan!
49
00:03:31,138 --> 00:03:35,650
Ugh, I have not had good luck in this place.
50
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:40,650
Yeah, one time I was on a date here, and it just went completely off the rails.
51
00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,650
He just like, wouldn't talk to me.
52
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:46,650
Oh my god, let me cut you off for a second. I had a similar situation in a bar like this. Not exactly like this, but...
53
00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,650
Well, hey, I wasn't done talking.
54
00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:49,650
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
55
00:03:49,650 --> 00:03:56,650
Okay. Well, yeah, I think I'm just used to my dinner dates with Ryan, you know. We kinda have a system.
56
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,650
A system?
57
00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:04,650
Yeah. I talk, and then I let him talk, and he picks up the check.
58
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:07,650
Oh. Sounds like you might be taking advantage of him, no?
59
00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:11,650
Oh, no! It's just our thing. We're best friends.
60
00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:13,650
Sounds like maybe you're more than that.
61
00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:15,650
No! We're completely platonic.
62
00:04:15,650 --> 00:04:17,650
Platonic. Yeah, he told me that.
63
00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:24,650
Wow. Do you wanna get out of here? We could go back to your place.
64
00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:34,650
You know, Melissa, I think you're beautiful. And I really enjoyed tonight, but I have a confession.
65
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:43,850
Kind of a douchebag. And I'm pretty sure Ryan is in love with you.
66
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,850
Um...
67
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:53,922
I usually split the check, but tonight it's on me. See you around.
68
00:05:10,522 --> 00:05:13,522
What are you doing here? I thought you were on a date with Tommy.
69
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,022
Are you in love with me?
70
00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:16,522
Why would you say that?
71
00:05:16,522 --> 00:05:18,522
Tommy told me you were.
72
00:05:18,522 --> 00:05:20,022
He's lying.
73
00:05:20,022 --> 00:05:22,522
He also told me that he was a douchebag.
74
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,522
He's right about that, but he's lying about the other part.
75
00:05:26,522 --> 00:05:28,522
You said we were platonic.
76
00:05:28,522 --> 00:05:29,522
We are!
77
00:05:31,522 --> 00:05:32,522
Are we?
78
00:05:33,522 --> 00:05:34,522
Yes.
79
00:05:35,522 --> 00:05:38,522
I think... I don't know.
80
00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:40,522
I need to know.
81
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,498
Why did it take you 10 years to do that?
82
00:05:52,498 --> 00:05:54,498
Because you never shut up long enough for me to try.
83
00:05:55,498 --> 00:05:56,498
Come here.
84
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:29,094
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
85
00:14:22,406 --> 00:14:24,406
Oh, yes.
86
00:14:32,406 --> 00:14:34,670
Oh, yes.
87
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:36,670
Yes.
88
00:14:40,670 --> 00:14:43,170
Oh, fuck, yes.
89
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:55,170
Oh, my God.
90
00:15:05,106 --> 00:15:07,210
Oh, my God.
91
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,346
Yes, yes, yes.
92
00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:20,346
Oh, yeah.
93
00:15:26,738 --> 00:15:28,738
Oh, my God.
94
00:15:28,738 --> 00:15:30,738
Yes.
95
00:15:36,538 --> 00:15:38,538
Oh, fuck.
96
00:15:56,186 --> 00:15:59,154
Oh, yes.
97
00:15:59,154 --> 00:16:01,154
So good.
98
00:16:01,154 --> 00:16:03,154
Oh, my God.
99
00:16:12,162 --> 00:16:14,162
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
100
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:24,810
Oh, yeah.
101
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:35,466
Oh, yeah.
102
00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:37,466
Oh, fuck.
103
00:16:37,466 --> 00:16:39,466
Oh, yeah.
104
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,466
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
105
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:46,658
Oh, fuck.
106
00:16:46,658 --> 00:16:48,658
Oh, my God.
107
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:19,994
Oh, fuck.
108
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,514
Oh, yeah.
109
00:17:34,514 --> 00:17:36,514
Oh, my God.
110
00:18:24,346 --> 00:18:26,346
Oh my god
111
00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:31,346
Oh fuck you make my butt feel so fucking good
112
00:18:31,346 --> 00:18:32,346
Yeah
113
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,346
Oh my god
114
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,346
Oh my god
115
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:39,346
Yes
116
00:18:39,346 --> 00:18:41,346
Yes
117
00:18:44,346 --> 00:18:46,346
Oh fuck
118
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:47,346
Oh yeah
119
00:18:48,346 --> 00:18:49,346
Uh huh
120
00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:53,346
Oh fuck yeah
121
00:18:54,346 --> 00:18:56,346
Ah yeah
122
00:18:56,346 --> 00:18:57,346
Yeah
123
00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,346
Oh my god
124
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,346
Ah yeah
125
00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:01,346
Yeah
126
00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:03,346
Oh yeah just like that
127
00:19:03,346 --> 00:19:04,346
Ah just like that
128
00:19:04,346 --> 00:19:05,346
Oh my god
129
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,578
Oh yes yes yes yes yes
130
00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:13,578
Oh fuck yeah Ryan
131
00:19:13,578 --> 00:19:14,578
Oh yes yes
132
00:19:15,578 --> 00:19:16,578
Oh my god
133
00:19:16,578 --> 00:19:17,586
Oh my god
134
00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:20,722
Oh fuck
135
00:19:21,722 --> 00:19:23,658
Oh fuck
136
00:19:27,138 --> 00:19:28,138
Oh fuck yeah
137
00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:29,138
Yeah
138
00:19:29,138 --> 00:19:30,138
Yeah
139
00:19:34,138 --> 00:19:35,138
Oh fuck yeah
140
00:19:35,138 --> 00:19:37,138
Yeah yeah like that
141
00:19:37,138 --> 00:19:38,138
Yeah
142
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:47,706
Oh my god
143
00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:55,706
Ah yeah
144
00:19:55,706 --> 00:19:56,706
Yeah
145
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:06,706
Yes yes yes
146
00:20:10,706 --> 00:20:11,706
uh
147
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:33,258
Oh my god.
148
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:44,042
You can do it!
149
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:46,042
Yes, ma'am!
150
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,042
That's it!
151
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,042
You can do it!
152
00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:56,042
Yes, ma'am!
153
00:21:06,042 --> 00:21:10,034
Yes, ma'am!
154
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:12,034
There you go!
155
00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:16,034
Oh, my God!
156
00:21:16,034 --> 00:21:18,034
Oh, my God!
157
00:21:42,322 --> 00:21:44,322
Yes, ma'am!
158
00:21:44,322 --> 00:21:46,322
Yes, ma'am!
159
00:21:46,322 --> 00:21:48,322
Yes, ma'am!
160
00:21:48,322 --> 00:21:50,322
Yes, ma'am!
161
00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:54,322
Yes, ma'am!
162
00:21:54,322 --> 00:21:56,322
Yes, ma'am!
163
00:22:12,322 --> 00:22:14,874
Oh, my God!
164
00:22:14,874 --> 00:22:16,874
I'm sorry!
165
00:22:18,874 --> 00:22:20,874
I'm sorry!
166
00:22:20,874 --> 00:22:22,874
I'm sorry!
167
00:22:22,874 --> 00:22:24,874
Oh, my God!
168
00:22:24,874 --> 00:22:26,874
Are you okay?
169
00:22:26,874 --> 00:22:30,034
Yes, ma'am!
170
00:22:30,034 --> 00:22:32,518
Are you okay?
171
00:23:11,834 --> 00:23:12,834
Yes.
172
00:23:17,710 --> 00:23:19,210
It's very strange.
173
00:23:27,370 --> 00:23:28,370
Look at me.
174
00:23:33,554 --> 00:23:35,554
I can't do that.
175
00:23:37,554 --> 00:23:38,554
The heart.
176
00:23:43,554 --> 00:23:46,578
It's very strange.
177
00:23:49,578 --> 00:23:50,578
It's very strange.
178
00:24:00,578 --> 00:24:01,578
Look at me.
179
00:24:19,578 --> 00:24:20,578
It's very strange.
180
00:24:22,578 --> 00:24:23,578
I'm going to kill you.
181
00:24:24,578 --> 00:24:25,578
Really?
182
00:24:29,578 --> 00:24:30,578
I'm sorry.
183
00:24:41,474 --> 00:24:43,186
I'm sorry.
184
00:24:45,186 --> 00:24:46,186
I'm sorry.
185
00:24:48,186 --> 00:24:49,546
Oh, yes.
186
00:24:52,546 --> 00:24:54,738
Yes.
187
00:24:55,738 --> 00:24:56,738
Oh, yes.
188
00:24:57,810 --> 00:24:58,810
Yes.
189
00:24:58,810 --> 00:24:59,810
Yes.
190
00:24:59,810 --> 00:25:00,810
Yes.
191
00:25:29,338 --> 00:25:31,338
Oh my god
192
00:26:06,586 --> 00:26:08,586
Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-
193
00:26:31,322 --> 00:26:33,322
No, no, no, no, no.
194
00:26:50,746 --> 00:26:52,746
Oh, that feels so good.
195
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,130
Oh my god.
196
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:18,050
Oh yeah!
197
00:27:18,050 --> 00:27:20,050
Oh yeah!
198
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,394
It feels so good.
199
00:27:36,218 --> 00:27:37,218
Yes.
200
00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:55,530
Does that pussy taste good?
201
00:27:55,530 --> 00:27:57,530
It's the best
202
00:28:09,922 --> 00:28:11,922
Oh my god
203
00:28:11,922 --> 00:28:13,922
Yes yes yes yes yes
204
00:28:13,922 --> 00:28:15,922
Oh I love that
205
00:28:15,922 --> 00:28:17,922
Oh that feels so good
206
00:28:27,922 --> 00:28:29,922
Yeah
207
00:28:35,922 --> 00:28:37,922
You're gonna get me back
208
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:00,538
Yes...
209
00:29:02,538 --> 00:29:06,638
This is so good...
210
00:29:06,638 --> 00:29:07,638
Yeah...
211
00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:19,890
Yes...
212
00:29:25,774 --> 00:29:26,774
Yeah...
213
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,102
Oh my god...
214
00:29:32,102 --> 00:29:33,602
Oh, it's so hot...
215
00:29:33,602 --> 00:29:34,602
Yeah...
216
00:29:35,602 --> 00:29:36,602
Yeah...
217
00:29:38,602 --> 00:29:39,602
Yeah...
218
00:29:39,602 --> 00:29:40,602
Yeah...
219
00:29:41,602 --> 00:29:42,602
Yeah...
220
00:29:43,602 --> 00:29:44,602
Are you gonna come?
221
00:29:44,602 --> 00:29:45,602
Yeah...
222
00:29:45,602 --> 00:29:46,602
Oh, you should come...
223
00:29:47,602 --> 00:29:48,602
Yeah...
224
00:29:52,962 --> 00:29:53,962
Yeah...
225
00:30:18,490 --> 00:30:20,490
So this beer will be a...
226
00:30:20,490 --> 00:30:22,490
splitting the check for an hour?
227
00:30:22,490 --> 00:30:24,490
Not a chance.
13347
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